Based Camp - August 15, 2025


Should We Revive Dowries and Bride Prices? (Why Selling Your Kids Increased Their Value)


Episode Stats

Length

54 minutes

Words per Minute

184.63713

Word Count

10,061

Sentence Count

6

Misogynist Sentences

41

Hate Speech Sentences

20


Summary

In this episode, Malcolm and Malcolm discuss whether or not we should return to selling women as brides, and should we be selling our children as partners? This practice has been around for centuries, but is it still prevalent in our culture today?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 hello malcolm i'm so excited to be here with you today because i have something on my mind and we
00:00:06.840 need to talk through it because i don't know should we return to selling women as brides
00:00:13.120 and should we be selling off our children as partners you also told me that this happened
00:00:18.160 frequently like way more recently than i thought like yeah no we're gonna go into it we're gonna
00:00:22.420 go into it i mean also like can it be so wrong if like literally this practice gave birth to santa
00:00:28.440 claus wait what hold on wait oh saint nicholas became famous for secretly providing dowry money
00:00:37.020 to three impoverished sisters saving them from a life of destitution and prostitution that is where
00:00:41.940 saint nicholas like it's one of his famous things and the stocking tradition comes from this this
00:00:48.660 this myth perhaps or story of him having put gold coins in their shoes or stockings that were drying
00:00:57.440 by the fire at night you didn't know this come on you know your christmas lore i didn't know that
00:01:03.520 this was women so that they could buy husbands i didn't know that's the thing it's like this is so
00:01:09.780 pervasive and what our whole thing about culture is as a culture if you want to maintain relevancy and
00:01:17.080 strength you should look to traditions that other cultures have widely adopted that appear to correlate
00:01:22.340 with thriving in some way and ask yourself hey should i maybe be doing this and keep in mind that
00:01:29.220 in higher fertility rate countries which are developing countries 65 to 75 percent have bride prices or
00:01:37.580 variants of that tradition whereas in developed countries virtually zero percent have these now
00:01:45.160 although i'm going to argue actually that's not quite true yeah in rich silicon valley culture is quite
00:01:49.920 common but basically like both historically and presently the most wealthy and educated people
00:01:54.680 are still doing it so yeah but like what what academics will probably tell you is like well it's
00:02:00.040 lower than five percent in developed countries and only those are like backwards immigrant communities and
00:02:04.480 i don't know about that guys the the fertility rates of cultures that still practice this are
00:02:09.340 they're higher there are obviously a lot of things that are wrong with these things but what they do do is
00:02:15.340 actually kind of it has me you and i need to have a talk on whether or not we're going to do some
00:02:20.180 variant of this because think about it they they legitimize marriage you know you're you're when you
00:02:25.100 add a cost to something you make it a bigger deal you increase commitment and switching costs like
00:02:30.800 divorce is a much bigger deal you know i mean so i think a huge part of this is switching costs
00:02:36.220 yeah i think that that's why it develops so frequently as a as a practice because you know you're much
00:02:41.400 less likely to get divorced or go off and try to marry multiple people if you have to pay a bunch
00:02:45.600 of money to do it but like also like it gets the family involved so it wasn't it's not just that
00:02:52.760 money was attached to this it's that like your mom and your dad and maybe your grandparents and maybe
00:03:00.100 even your broader like family has contributed to your marriage like happening financially and they're
00:03:07.400 gonna be pissed if you cheat or you you know or bad spouse or you screw it up somehow and like i think
00:03:13.280 that that pressure is really good and we need to have parents become more involved in their kids
00:03:18.220 matchmaking anyway plus in many of these traditions the money actually goes to the couple and gives them
00:03:24.720 a nest egg which is one of those like sort of sticking points these days where you know couples feel
00:03:29.920 like well i can't get married i can't start a family because i don't have you know i can't buy a house i can't do
00:03:35.120 money and one of the more common forms of dowries and bride prices is is indeed property is is is most
00:03:42.240 commonly money this is the stuff that can really get a family started so i'm like oh my gosh yeah well
00:03:47.000 so first just to clarify for those who are not very familiar with bride prices or dowries dowries are
00:03:52.820 what parents of a woman like a young lady will pay to the husband's family or the the husband for
00:04:00.040 basically marrying off their their daughter bride prices are what grooms families or grooms pay for
00:04:07.860 brides and the difference in when there's a bride price or a dowry comes down to some interesting
00:04:14.520 factors and just to be clear most cultures practice bride prices dowries are actually pretty unusual
00:04:21.880 but i actually think that based on the criteria that we're going to go over that maybe dowries are what
00:04:27.160 more developed countries should be considering so bride prices are more common in polygynous cultures
00:04:32.960 where you have multiple wives versus dowries where it's it's more common to be in monogamous cultures
00:04:40.240 where there's a scarcity of wealthy women and then bride prices in contrast they're more common where like
00:04:46.540 manual labor is valued over capital um so they're more like rural pastoral agricultural and where women's
00:04:53.520 labor is really crucial for the family survivor survivals so you're paying for women because
00:04:58.980 they're rare and you really need them and you're kind of desperate to get a lot of sense so yeah when
00:05:06.240 i think about where dowries are more often paid they're like in like wealthy medieval european
00:05:10.800 nobility right we're like the girls are not out working a farm and you're getting into monogamous
00:05:16.120 relationships yeah you're really sort of paying for the monogamy yeah and where bride prices are most
00:05:21.840 common now are still in africa for the most part like they're super pervasive in africa and that's
00:05:28.320 a friend who told me about a wedding she went to when we were in college together and she went down for
00:05:32.480 a wedding and she said what they would do is they would lay out all of the things they had bought as a
00:05:39.880 bride price in front of all the wedding guests oh you showed all the wedding guests get to go up and look
00:05:46.320 and inspect to see like how much like nice fabric was this woman worth like that's one of the big
00:05:51.920 things she said is you have like yeah help yeah because yeah in some cases traditional clothing is
00:05:55.980 given jewelry goals etc and so the guests could go up and inspect the things that were given for the
00:06:02.980 bride price it's actually a quite fun thing to do in a wedding and quite like in your face flex so you
00:06:08.960 can't really cheat it right like yeah you would you have to put it on the table and everyone gets to
00:06:14.600 see it i think it's like a son are gonna be like mom dad i'm gonna look very bad in front of her
00:06:21.140 entire family if you don't put this stuff up there like it's not handled in secret i mean it's still
00:06:25.660 functionally done i think in many modern western weddings where they just like blow money on the party
00:06:31.520 i'd rather end up with like really nice stuff that you can use as a new couple yeah instead of blowing
00:06:37.760 it on the party to show how good it is and i think that's like a form of a bride price that still
00:06:42.760 exists because remember the the woman's parents are often expected to pay for the wedding yeah
00:06:46.560 yeah right culture yes the the man's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and the woman's parents pay
00:06:53.740 for the wedding i think which is akin to a bride price given how much weddings can cost but if you're
00:06:59.420 talking about actual like bride prices in western cultures that you keep referring to what she's
00:07:05.060 referencing here is the frequency in silicon valley and rationalists and tech elite culture
00:07:11.300 of marriage bounties yeah so i can give you one example i i was thinking about reading off some
00:07:18.300 more like private marriage bounties in fact even there are people who listen to this podcast who
00:07:22.180 have open marriage bounties out yeah they're extremely common and i think they're a great idea
00:07:26.520 they also allow they're typically marriage bounties as practiced by people in or adjacent to the
00:07:32.120 effective altruist irrationalist communities who are pervasive in these in these circles throughout
00:07:37.980 europe and the united states they put up the bounties themselves new york times has done articles about
00:07:43.800 them both men and women put them up they're often typically they range from like ten thousand to a
00:07:49.520 hundred thousand dollars i decided i wasn't going to read any of the more like you know personal ones
00:07:54.820 but but ayla has recently put out a one hundred thousand dollar marriage bounty and she put it
00:08:00.880 very publicly on her sub stack so i feel like we can talk about that that's a very public bride price
00:08:05.700 like that's not a trivial sum that's a hundred thousand and i've seen other for ten thousand
00:08:10.300 hundred thousand fifty thousand this is the price range that you typically get yeah and here's how
00:08:14.800 it's presented because i think the way she presents it is fairly representative of what they look
00:08:18.800 like in terms of a cultural custom within this community today she wrote i have a one hundred
00:08:24.620 thousand bounty on my marriage if you introduce me to someone who i end up marrying i'll pay you
00:08:29.500 100k upon marriage here are some details one they shouldn't already be on my radar as someone i might be
00:08:36.060 interested in two you must make the intro explicitly in the context of this is for your bounty if i casually
00:08:42.640 meet them at a party you threw this or that you threw this doesn't count three send me a small blurb of
00:08:48.560 why you picked them and why you think we'd get along for you have to be the first person to make the
00:08:53.200 recommendation if things hit this if things hit this part way like maybe it's a gray area on how much of
00:09:00.080 an acquaintance that person was to me before or if i'd already had the intention of asking them out
00:09:04.880 then i'll give a portion of the bounty that feels equivalent to the degree to which you increased my odds
00:09:10.740 i can confirm the fraction it feels equivalent to me after you make the recommendation but before i meet
00:09:16.720 the person or if we go out on our first date or whatever it also counts if you get them to fill
00:09:21.820 out my date me survey you can go to knowing less and fill out her date me survey just make sure they
00:09:27.400 remember this counts as us introducing you yeah she writes make sure they list your name in the who
00:09:32.380 recommended you question so please recommend simone collins or and or malcolm collins because you know
00:09:37.640 they could use the money recommendation no but this is this is i i think a very fair way to do it
00:09:42.980 right yeah yeah and and i it's i mean ayla is is much more organized about it like in her date me
00:09:48.200 quiz like she checks a whole bunch of things about your personal you know anxiety levels your income
00:09:54.080 level how you know your sexual proclivities because she she knows herself really well the bounties that
00:09:59.880 people put out more commonly they'll like post something on facebook of all places that seems to be
00:10:04.780 the most common place where they post them and it will be in the form of a google doc that a lot of
00:10:09.560 people can see it's a publicly posted google doc so anyone can click through to it and see
00:10:13.760 and it's typically a list of like sort of criteria and here's some stuff about me and here's what i'm
00:10:18.940 looking for and here's the bounty and you know here's how to here's how to specify that you are
00:10:24.320 making the introduction or here's how to reach out if you think that you are this person and i i love this
00:10:31.860 i wish that we had more organized data on how effective it is but a lot of people are doing them
00:10:37.700 and you know i think there's there's some i want to create a dating site that was just for them
00:10:44.760 and the reason it would work so well is because you could have the dating site get a portion of the
00:10:48.580 price so you have an inbuilt monetization method and you don't actually need to find people to sign
00:10:54.800 up at the site you could give a portion of the money to whoever posted it on the site so you can have
00:11:01.000 people go out and scour for these posts about uh pitches to the general public put the post on the
00:11:07.980 site and then they in the site get a portion if somebody finds the person through the site that's
00:11:11.840 a fun idea yeah we should we should consider doing that because yeah i also want these people to find
00:11:18.800 their partners like these are are very awesome people who i want to see if i love and have cute
00:11:24.340 children cute nerdy children who are terminally online who can marry our children maybe for a bride price or
00:11:31.000 salary so the the money shall flow it's going to be great but also this is not the first time elite
00:11:39.140 groups that are also technophilic and capitalistic and all that have have practiced this this tradition
00:11:45.540 of of selling off their children have you heard malcolm of the dollar princesses no tell me about this
00:11:51.820 so the era of the dollar princesses spanned roughly from the 1870s to the early 1900s
00:11:57.460 and it peaked during the gilded age so because that hbo shows out right now a lot of people are
00:12:01.700 actually talking about the dollar princesses online the period saw wealthy american heiresses
00:12:06.200 often from newly rich industrialist or financier families marrying into european aristocracy particularly
00:12:11.900 the british nobility and this was sort of a it was it was there were all marriages of convenience for
00:12:17.160 the most part because what you had was this this marketplace of noble families in the uk
00:12:23.660 who could not make money from their properties the same way the industrial revolution kind of
00:12:29.060 ruined their ability to like make money from their land the way they used to and they're just being
00:12:33.220 crushed by taxes and they couldn't afford anything and their manners were falling apart so they were
00:12:37.760 penniless but prestigious and then you had all these zero prestige but money rich people in the united states
00:12:47.080 industrialists who were like well i want to be fancy i'm just going to marry off my daughter to like
00:12:51.960 a duke and then she'll be really fancy and you think well okay whatever like this wasn't very
00:12:56.620 influential but no these these marriages produced very culturally significant effects consider there
00:13:04.340 was a lady randolph churchill that's winston churchill's mom we have winston churchill thanks
00:13:10.260 to dollar princesses and dowries so not just santa claus malcolm winston bloody churchill okay
00:13:16.260 churchill was the product of one of these sold women yeah so her dowry by the way which was
00:13:21.560 reportedly 50 million dollars at the time that's or sorry 50 000 at the time is roughly equivalent
00:13:28.580 to 1.3 million today so you're saying oh it was a hundred thousand dollars no 1.3 million is a lot
00:13:34.240 there there's also another notable person who was produced by dollar princesses is late lady well
00:13:41.420 princess diana diana really yeah she was the daughter of or sorry she was a descendant of francis
00:13:49.280 ellen work who married in 1880 she's the great grandmother of princess diana so they're all these
00:13:55.560 like notable and very impactful people like one of the dollar princesses nancy langholm's shaw lady
00:14:00.760 astor became the first woman to take a seat in the british parliament a lot of these women went on to be
00:14:06.180 very influential like activists and whatnot so you know these these were pretty cool and they were all
00:14:12.760 again the result of um dowries and it's it's just so interesting to see these traditions
00:14:17.780 compared to kind of the the traditional way of doing it or the way that it's still practiced
00:14:23.480 in places like india pakistan bangladesh sri lanka afghanistan nepal indian or sorry iran egypt
00:14:31.900 turkey azerbaijan like it's actually there are a lot of countries where this takes place
00:14:36.720 and it pretty much all ends up being the same thing it's sort of like these gifts that are
00:14:41.740 transferred but let's talk about like how we might do it and and how they're done right and wrong
00:14:45.940 because i think that china and you can get into this is one example of how they are really done wrong
00:14:51.660 and how they can actually suppress fertility create a big problem yeah so go go into the the problem that
00:14:59.020 they create in china are you what i mean are you i can tell i can go over it it's just we've talked about
00:15:05.540 it a lot how it's it's screwed up the real estate market oh well so it became really common in china
00:15:11.540 like that you as a man to marry a woman you're supposed to have a house right and the problem
00:15:19.320 is is that in china this is a core store of wealth that they had 73 percent of wealth is stored in real
00:15:24.960 estate and the price of real estate versus the average daily wage is in like yearly wage i think it's
00:15:32.200 like you can look it up for like in in mainland china someone you should with ai i think it's like
00:15:38.000 okay i decided to look this up in post shanghai it's 35.8 years you'd have to work on average to
00:15:44.660 buy an apartment beijing it's 35.6 years you'd have to work on average that's a 35 around 36 years you
00:15:54.860 the average person in that area would have to work to pay off their apartment full year's wage
00:16:01.300 yeah it's insane so even if you did nothing but save like for most of your life you wouldn't be
00:16:06.200 able to afford one in a major city and a lot of this is because in in the case of china too
00:16:10.700 the the scarce resource is women so like when you have men competing over women
00:16:15.980 yeah because women are a scarce resource so you get more and more because not as many women are born
00:16:22.200 as men because they're viewed as worth less i mean because this version of a dowry sort of
00:16:28.380 goes to the woman in a way when she gets married and so it created a situation where it became
00:16:33.920 unrealistic for most people who are going to marry to actually buy a house in the cities they begin to
00:16:37.420 buy houses outside of cities that they never intended to live in as like a token to basically
00:16:43.440 be like i technically own a house and in china houses are worth more when they're unfurnished than
00:16:48.980 when they're furnished because it's bad feng shui it would like if no one has ever lived in them and
00:16:53.120 they've always stayed empty and so they leave the apartment like that just as like almost like a
00:16:59.380 chinese bitcoin i call it like the chinese worse because because it inherently devalues these these
00:17:05.920 are now crumbling yeah they're they're abandoned and after 99 years you lose your lease on it so yeah
00:17:12.260 and i'm not getting a straight answer but like here's here's just one intro from the economist it
00:17:17.320 also shows in cash terms because in in china it's not just necessarily property it could also be cash
00:17:22.580 just how like out of control it is this this article titled bride prices are surging in china
00:17:28.720 why is the government struggling to curb them it starts marriage in china can be mercenary quote is
00:17:34.740 380 yuan a lot for a bride price a woman in guangdongs asks on a social media site she's thinking of
00:17:40.760 getting married and wants to know how much her fiance's family should pay for her hand the sum she is
00:17:45.320 suggesting equivalent to nearly 53 000 is more than seven times her annual wage thousands reply many
00:17:52.660 say she should demand more sis your life is your own don't wrong yourself at least ask for 888 800 says
00:17:59.420 one oh and all of these women like brag about asking for so much and everything like that and
00:18:04.700 they're and guys are like what's even the point right this is like a random woman in in china she's
00:18:09.920 not fake i mean ayla's ayla's dowry is 100 000 and this random woman is like well it's 58 that you
00:18:18.260 know us dollars equivalent enough so this is just how out of control it gets on december 18th 2024
00:18:24.680 ao yang wei wei a 38 year old single woman sparked outrage at a matchmaking event demanding a bride price
00:18:31.940 of 880 000 un around 121 000 and made it clear that her price would only go up this year it's 880 000
00:18:42.740 when next year it'll be 1 million i'm 38 this year someone mocked her laughing just wait another 10 years
00:18:50.800 but after a series of failures she publicly admitted her regret i'm the woman who asked for 800 000 when
00:18:58.400 as a bride price i truly regret it now i've wasted my chances an internet user commented in jiangxi province
00:19:06.940 the average bride price is 380 000 when about 52 000 usd but in places like lingang village it's far worse
00:19:17.140 the bride price there ranges from 97 000 to 110 000 usd now compare that to what most people actually earn
00:19:27.160 the annual income is 16 700 usd so i wouldn't want to create a cultural practice like if we for our
00:19:37.440 family religion were to adopt this where basically people are going into debt or their family's going
00:19:44.480 into debt or like entering some form of insolvency or delaying marriage because what also happens is a
00:19:49.580 lot of people just start cohabitating and they just don't get married because they're like i can't afford
00:19:53.580 to get married it's kind of like it's as bad as unsustainably expensive weddings for example
00:19:58.800 you don't want to do that so i wouldn't want to do that i wouldn't want to do any any um like
00:20:05.400 insinuation that one partner owns the other but like the you know common complaint especially about
00:20:10.360 dowries which is what we're looking at in china here or sorry no that that's a bride price about
00:20:14.780 bride prices is that they devalue women and turn them into commodity commodities but here like you were
00:20:20.200 saying these women are bragging i would much prefer to be the commodity come on i i prefer that
00:20:24.740 directionality yes no i mean like that that sounds like so i i really think this whole thing about like
00:20:30.640 this devalues women remember turns people into products that are bought and sold like one
00:20:37.500 we kind of seem to enjoy it and two we should be looking at marriage as like a financial alliance
00:20:45.320 and transaction that that you know where money does change hands what ideally in favor of like a nest
00:20:52.160 egg for the couple that gets them started but still like people should be reminded that marriage is
00:20:57.080 commercial arrangement and this is a great way to prime it that way and you know i should point out
00:21:03.320 that like at least in some countries there's still like a lot of there's actual like disputes and
00:21:09.760 demands that that have led to cases of domestic violence and abuse and even murder there are dowry
00:21:17.640 deaths in south asia where brides are harmed or killed over insufficient dowry payments so i don't
00:21:23.620 know i just figure you should say no deal i don't know why people are being killed over this but i just
00:21:27.480 want to point out right they're killed because the husband didn't give the family enough some examples
00:21:32.220 of this happening we have this ma case this was in 2021 in india a 22 year old woman in carla was
00:21:40.440 found dead in her husband's home shortly after marriage her family alleged she was abused over
00:21:45.440 demands for more dowry including gold in a car despite already receiving significant payments
00:21:51.240 then we have the prajari family tragedy india 2024 an utter prajari a woman named anjali gupta
00:22:00.460 was allegedly killed by her in-laws over unmet dowry demands her family claimed that she was
00:22:07.560 strangled and her body was staged as a suicide in a horrific twist her brother later sought revenge
00:22:13.300 by attacking the accused leading to further deaths i'm not going to go over more because obviously it's
00:22:17.720 pretty grisly and most of these cases are in india or pakistan no because the dowry is where the
00:22:24.840 the wife's family gives the husband's family so in china which one is common though i thought i thought
00:22:29.100 in china now every deaths are in south asia i don't think that in china there is much of an issue
00:22:35.280 we're probably talking about other south asian countries for example in thailand there's a form
00:22:41.160 of of of payment to the groom's family that's called sinsod that is in cash or gold and i'm i'm thinking
00:22:49.200 it probably takes place more there so it's insane but i mean it's it's also i can't emphasize enough
00:22:58.140 just how insane to me it is how much this is practiced and how high the prices are in places
00:23:02.920 where people's wealth is much more constrained than the united states like i would consider
00:23:08.260 sending tens of thousands of dollars for a bride price to be like a lot that's like a big deal
00:23:14.920 but in papua new guinea that's not uncommon papua new guinea like where are they getting this money
00:23:23.060 i don't know man no i mean bride prices are a lot and that's one of the reasons why i do not like
00:23:28.560 them from a pro natalist perspective because it puts the genetically successful families intrinsically
00:23:33.960 on the back foot the the more kids you have like a family like ours especially because we're the gender
00:23:39.600 equal we'd never be able to get enough mates for our children oh yeah unless saint nicholas
00:23:45.140 yeah you know they're they're the the the boy you're having now is what like the fifth prince
00:23:53.340 right like kid number five right we yeah want to go for at least seven right yeah well so here's
00:23:59.260 here's what i i think is right though and here's what i would like to look at creating i think that
00:24:03.920 one just this concept of because keep in mind also bride prices and dowries are often used in
00:24:10.320 cultures as a form of like early inheritance because it's kind of lame to like wait until you
00:24:16.060 die to give money to kids and in cultures where kids are more likely to take care of you in your old
00:24:22.160 age anyway like you want to invest in them younger because then they will be more wealthy when you
00:24:27.260 actually need them to take care of you does that make sense so these are more common in places that
00:24:31.080 have crumbling social services because parents are actively investing in their social safety net and
00:24:37.900 that means giving their kids the best early start possible does it so because what do you mean by
00:24:44.940 this okay so if i know that i'm going to depend on my son or daughter to take care of me in old age
00:24:51.760 i'm not going to want to wait until i die to give them money oh because i'm going to be living in their
00:24:57.220 freaking house i'm going to be dependent on either them having the time or staff to take care of me
00:25:04.520 and buy me medicine and our children are going to need the staff to take care of us we require many
00:25:09.820 staff i yes we we need good care and so if we were to wait until we literally died to give them money
00:25:16.160 one like already that's too little too late like they're so far like the cumulative advantage that
00:25:22.240 early money gives to people i mean just alone considering compound interest but if you're also
00:25:27.180 thinking about education and early career games i mean everything snowballs when when you're talking
00:25:34.520 give them that money at the beginning of their adulthood not late and that's something that's
00:25:38.820 really smart especially about dowries and bride prices that go directly to the bride and groom and
00:25:44.300 i you know it it doesn't have cash is the most popular way for this to be but even giving them a place to
00:25:50.020 live livestock which could be like their economic means of starting a business for example um or even
00:25:56.200 clothing that means they don't have to buy the clothing so i don't really care what the form is but if it
00:26:00.080 gets them a head start a jump start especially if you're going to depend on them anyway in the future
00:26:05.260 there is an incentive for that and so i love i love this idea of of front loading your financial
00:26:11.700 support to children at least sorry to young adults so that they are more likely to get those cumulative
00:26:19.680 benefits in the future the money is going to go further if you give it earlier so part of me was
00:26:24.220 thinking like well maybe instead of like creating education savings accounts or like 529 accounts or
00:26:29.460 even like you know trust funds or whatever giving like creating funds that like give grants to
00:26:35.900 your children upon their marriage that are you know contingent on on that one motivates them to get
00:26:44.200 married um like imagine if trust fund kids only got their money if they got married and started having
00:26:49.880 kids they'd get married you know like now they're just like sluts at coachella like think of all the
00:26:56.800 wonderful things there's no point you're right it reduces the point of getting married if you don't
00:27:01.180 get some big boost like you're basically getting a proto inheritance at the point of marriage which you
00:27:08.700 don't get today which encourages early marriage yeah exactly and you could even make it you could make
00:27:15.720 it a trust and you could make trust payments very contingent on things like this has to be for
00:27:21.060 education fertility maybe a down payment on a house like the kinds of things that would lead to
00:27:28.080 a family's long-term flourishing and we've already talked about like if if we ever if we ever do
00:27:35.000 savings that we can allocate to our descendants that we would want to be able to cover things like IVF
00:27:41.420 and egg freezing and embryo freezing and and that kind of thing on and also matching funds for starting a
00:27:47.020 business remember how we yes one of the things we fantasized about is having like a trust for
00:27:54.280 descendants but also like people who come into the family essentially where you don't just give a kid
00:28:02.060 money like a grandkid or whatever money for starting a business if they come to you with a business
00:28:06.940 proposition you can agree to match funds raised from other parties like legitimate third parties that do
00:28:14.100 not you know that are not friends and family that are literally investing in them because they think
00:28:18.380 it's a good idea that's what we've decided to do yeah but i think that that dowries in the form of
00:28:24.640 investments like this are are great that you know you have to be married and then as a couple
00:28:29.440 you will then unlock access to things like university education that's paid for things like IVF embryo
00:28:38.280 things like maybe housing subsidies or matching funds for investment in business because that would
00:28:45.740 encourage people to start their families when otherwise they'd be like oh well i'm gonna wait
00:28:50.500 i'm gonna wait to start my family until after i have a house or my college education and here you need to get
00:28:57.560 married to get those things and you just need to find ways in society to like flip that around
00:29:02.360 so i i think it's a i'm excited i like that if we have the wealth to do it yeah i think it's better
00:29:11.040 just to give them arranged marriages and well we're doing that anyway but like that's the other thing
00:29:16.700 though is that dowries bride prices and arranged marriages all go hand in hand i mean many of these
00:29:23.740 are are negotiated between the families this isn't like a like just putting it out there like sign in the
00:29:30.640 window 58 000 for my daughter well that's that's the way ayla's works you know find a guy who's good
00:29:38.780 enough for me and you get the money well yeah because she doesn't have her family's involvement
00:29:42.980 but like at least traditionally like the cultural technology that appears to have been pervasively
00:29:48.660 practiced across like literally across the world i mean like again saint nicholas this is the whole
00:29:53.540 tradition this was in europe you know dowries were very popular in europe until you could argue fairly
00:29:58.040 recently and then of course we still have dollar princesses in the united states so dowries are
00:30:01.260 totally still a thing so that they've been in the united states that they've been in europe they're
00:30:05.280 still very active in africa they are they're pretty common in east asia in the middle east i mean there
00:30:12.400 there's kind of no region of the world in oceania as well in freaking papa new guinea so when you see a
00:30:19.560 cultural technology like this that is so pervasive you have to ask yourself okay yeah if this many if
00:30:28.120 this many cultures have spontaneously evolved this amenity we should take it somewhat seriously even if
00:30:36.060 it has a bad rep because it it's you know again winston churchill santa claus princess diana
00:30:44.460 good things have come from this okay i'm a little too excited about it yeah i think that the way that
00:30:53.940 it's practiced in rationalist circles right now is a very good thing i mean it's sort of a sign of the
00:30:59.700 breakdown of marriage markets to be honest it's totally desperation to try to find somebody and
00:31:05.160 i've seen it work we know a couple who got married based on this who had been trying to find a wife for
00:31:09.680 a very long time and she'd been trying to find a husband for a long time and i think they both had
00:31:13.060 prices out very i i had actually looked at one of their like sheets no he did he did and i looked
00:31:19.180 at a sheet before and i knew this woman and i never thought of her because you know she was older and had
00:31:23.660 a kid already but apparently somebody else did and they were right so i could have had that one
00:31:28.280 we could have been rich could have been rich we just have to find ayla's future husband you know
00:31:37.120 her special some pony is out there i promise if we get this money we will spend it all on drugs
00:31:43.400 that's the point that's the point we i have never seen a hundred thousand dollars of cocaine and how
00:31:51.180 how much how big would that be i literally have no idea i've never bought cocaine i have no idea what
00:31:56.540 cocaine is yeah like a brick i i don't know i always thought it'd be really fun to win the nobel prize
00:32:03.020 and to blow it on cocaine take a selfie with it you know like no more friends baby oh my god
00:32:10.440 we're gonna be partying for a week yeah that would be it would be i'm i come on what are the odds that
00:32:18.880 someone hasn't already done that though very high i i do not think that many people who have the
00:32:26.440 mental cogency and facilities to win a nobel prize are doing enough drugs to blow the entire
00:32:34.100 nobel prize no there was that famous some famous scientist or something who went cold turkey for
00:32:42.960 like a month or something because his friends bet that he couldn't um and then he wrote something
00:32:49.040 about like clearly i'm able to do it but the cost to humanity is so grave you know something along
00:32:54.640 basically they were like you can't actually quit this and he's like i did but i wasn't productive
00:33:00.260 during yeah it's like well now cancer isn't cured you idiot i needed that you know okay okay maybe
00:33:08.520 you're right you know we got we got elon's thing here that every the news is complaining about
00:33:14.940 and clearly he's productive it's working for him whatever it is he's doing power to the people
00:33:20.880 you know he's he's got his he's got his mix keep it up right and on all these people there's they're
00:33:28.180 so they're such hypocrites like don't talk to me before i've had my coffee come on i love it i i by
00:33:34.940 the way take uh narcotic everybody they see me take it sometimes as well which is an opioid agonist
00:33:40.400 that prevents me from feeling happiness the opposite of any narcotic that a normal person would take
00:33:45.420 but i take it to dull my emotional state so i'm not as prone to addiction and i i love that that
00:33:50.880 is our families like could you be more puritan right you take you take illicit drugs to block
00:33:58.500 opioid pathways so that dopamine cannot cause you too much happiness but that's the thing is is the
00:34:05.060 we'll just say so we don't use this keyword too much the supplementation that you choose to take the
00:34:09.940 substances you imbue are a reflection of your cultural values and 100 can help you lean in to
00:34:16.080 what you think is most important i mean here you had benjamin franklin convince a bunch of staff
00:34:22.400 members that he was working with at one point to switch from their daily beer rations to like bread
00:34:28.380 because he's like it's going to make you more productive you're all just too sloshed to work and
00:34:32.720 he was just so adamant about shifting them away from that and then you're proud of himself of course
00:34:37.520 being who he is he was proud of himself for freaking everything he did that is like everything
00:34:42.380 his autobiography yeah you you guys if you've not read benjamin franklin's autobiography
00:34:47.340 you've missed out eddie and prideful that it actually loops around on likability every stupid
00:34:55.300 little thing from like the loaves of bread he the rolls he's stuck in his pockets when he first went
00:35:00.660 to philadelphia funny because you know history reminds me of this great figure if he could have known
00:35:06.620 that history would remember him this way oh my gosh he'd be even more insufferable but i don't
00:35:11.760 know if that's possible because during his lifetime he was also he would have been like it worked out
00:35:16.420 well but no this is one of these things where people wonder there's some people out there who who
00:35:22.240 worry if they did right or if they did enough you know and and i always feel bad for that those
00:35:28.720 famous people because i'm like what you went down in history like your van gogh's and stuff like
00:35:32.120 that you know what i mean yeah you want to like go back and give them a pat on the back and say he
00:35:36.340 did good old boy yeah actually things work out you know benjamin franklin you know no it's like
00:35:42.280 i am the greatest and the best that's everything i do he was kind of the trump of his time
00:35:47.760 yeah you know what i mean actually very i i'd say he was more trump than trump oh
00:35:52.400 probably freaking probably actually yeah probably actually because trump has inside some level of
00:35:58.340 insecurity that you could often see yeah benjamin franklin doesn't seem to have had this that's so
00:36:03.920 true uh and then you have the one other figure figure in history and i i will go down as a figure in
00:36:10.080 history me hey come on the the pronatalist movement i think basically we've already won in terms of
00:36:17.700 public recognition it's very obvious there's going to be a continued threat i'm seen as the leading
00:36:22.760 voice was in the movement yeah i mean the numbers are there that will be written about like
00:36:28.160 when a history book is written in 20 years or 30 years they're going to be like oh and during
00:36:32.600 this period was the beginning of the pronatalist movement with prominent advocates like simone and
00:36:37.580 malcolm collins that's like the very least that would be written about us also the first people to
00:36:42.420 publicly genetically select for iq you know so that's that's something that will also be written
00:36:47.920 about and obviously how expansive that becomes is it a footnote or is it you know and then they
00:36:55.900 became well-known philosophical influencers of their era or they started a new political coalition
00:37:02.180 or were key figures in building it that that hasn't been written right like obviously there's things
00:37:08.180 we're trying for but if we do achieve those and i am remembered in history be it known that i am
00:37:15.840 quite pleased with myself simone knows this i'm not one of these i'm not a van gogh over here
00:37:22.780 you know looking at some tortured soul am i the greatest and the best it's like
00:37:27.400 well people realize i'm the greatest and the best yeah when will they figure that one out
00:37:32.680 but here's the thing is a lot of people are like that you actually walk the walk i i observe you
00:37:41.740 i see you and i i like what you got sir i mean we're already there in terms of being like
00:37:48.560 you know the ben franklin of his period where he did a lot of stuff i mean we literally have
00:37:54.440 inventions he made in our house yeah we have two franklin stoves in our house and it's kind of
00:38:00.640 wild that they're there that our kid constantly our kids constantly shove things in there interacted
00:38:05.300 with all of the intellectual influencers of his time like he knew a lot of them they were friends of
00:38:10.640 his and i feel like we're already at that stage right like yeah he was going to whatever the
00:38:16.360 hereticon of his time was i guess kind of the palace of versailles was kind of like heretic
00:38:20.960 i know i think the hereticon of his time was the national congress of that period i don't know
00:38:26.300 though no that was just it was too much arguing it wasn't sufficiently indulgent and fun
00:38:32.720 you have to go to a french salon in that period and the ultimate fancy french salon essentially was
00:38:41.300 at the time i think so yeah and one of the things we frequently talk about it this is it's always
00:38:47.080 surprising to me how few intellectual influencers actually matter oh you mean yeah right so this
00:38:52.580 this whole thing something we talk about a lot internally when making strategic decisions about
00:38:57.580 where our time should be applied is is this something that is going to be filled by any competent
00:39:06.300 person who will just make the most optimal decision or is this something where depending on who does
00:39:12.640 this thing it will change the trajectory of our timeline of human history because there are so many
00:39:19.140 people in the media who are only famous media figures because they're saying the thing that people want
00:39:25.380 to hear at the time when they want to hear it and so they get this big platform and what they're saying
00:39:30.420 isn't changing anyone's view and then there are these very rare influencers who are saying stuff that
00:39:36.900 really no one asked to hear but is actually changing people's minds and those people are are quite unusual
00:39:44.040 like jordan peterson all this like daddy stuff i mean he's just saying you make your bed like he's
00:39:49.760 he's saying stuff that people want to hear at this time that makes him feel really good he's not
00:39:56.540 he's helping some people get their lives together for sure but he's not changing the trajectory of
00:40:02.920 human thought or philosophy or history yeah and the people that are that the interesting thing about
00:40:08.980 them and i didn't expect this growing up is that they find each other within any generation and they
00:40:14.420 have a network like they all know each other it was interesting like you had these like people who
00:40:19.560 hung out in in venetian cafes at the turn of the century from the 1800s to the 1900s and you have this
00:40:25.420 this period in colonial america where all these people are writing the federalist papers yeah you're
00:40:30.480 right it's just these weird clusters where they like all know each other weird and like artists who
00:40:35.280 all knew each other at like the same time and yeah it's very weird yeah when you talk to somebody who
00:40:41.100 you know is very influential and they're like oh and i've watched all your podcast episodes this
00:40:44.160 happened to me recently and i was like you've you what like you're what you you're famous why have you
00:40:50.880 watched all of my podcast episodes you know and i and people i think are surprised by they think that
00:40:58.140 the level of like influence somebody has somebody who i i mentioned who has an extreme level of
00:41:03.300 influence within this sphere like the influencer influencer sphere but very low influence in the
00:41:08.360 public is sam obersha sam obersha branch how very like these people are changing
00:41:14.780 shockingly low if you go to his youtube channel because i've been watching some of his recently
00:41:19.560 he's got like 3.6 000 followers me too yeah but he has like the thing is so people like scott
00:41:26.300 alexander sam obersha branch how these are people who may be like your average normie on the street
00:41:31.920 isn't hearing so you might be like well they're not changing the trajectory of history but the problem
00:41:35.700 is that like the people in the room where the stuff happens and the people with the money
00:41:39.800 and the people making major geopolitical decisions are reading these people's work and they're reading
00:41:46.740 it not yeah like trying to make decisions and they're not reading and they're not reading jordan
00:41:53.060 peterson i love that you even laugh at the idea that they might it's a sweet idea yeah that's not
00:42:01.040 happening that's not happening no that's right that's very sweet no but so people act like i
00:42:06.160 think there's this perception that the people who are creating these big cultural waves it was in the
00:42:11.760 zeitgeist have a lot more influence than they do in sort of the the actual deal makers which has been
00:42:18.280 very interesting to me as well to sort of see all of this and i think of the people who are in this
00:42:22.960 group we're probably the most introspective about the culture of this community and everything
00:42:26.860 because it's been very weird to me to watch it develop and congregate and and and how it i don't
00:42:33.760 know i think brian chow is very he's way more plugged into to like the ea rat well no like so
00:42:40.880 scott alexander is way way more plugged into ea rat brian chow is way more plugged into like
00:42:45.660 younger emergent ventures diaspora like ai tech hikikomori idiot savant world you know what i mean
00:42:55.440 like i don't know i think that there's there's a lot of hyper a lot of them they have their
00:42:59.540 individual like dutchdoms or whatever fiefdoms but we've got fiefdoms too i mean we our discord is
00:43:07.020 incredibly active it's um yeah like you just don't go to our fiefdom you don't visit yeah i wouldn't
00:43:14.380 know because you live in the capital and you don't visit your duchy and it's been growing out of
00:43:20.180 control that people are mad at you and everything you know they're they're so many discords have
00:43:25.900 like revolted against the people who originally created them i heard ruby yards did that to him
00:43:29.540 oh no after the incident or just after the incident you know if it's well i don't know people have
00:43:36.660 gone back to like people love him people love him they just they understand you know everyone has a
00:43:40.960 moment i i've heard it's been pretty and not just after the incident i think even before the incident
00:43:45.980 he had unfortunately and this is one of the things he had unfortunately reached a level of fame
00:43:51.220 where he became normie-esque and the normie-esque branding i think caused people to be looking for
00:43:58.180 opportunities to turn against him um because the brand that you and i appeal to is counter-cultural
00:44:06.940 it's a brand that rubyard appealed oh we get criticism all the time what this is not beast enough
00:44:12.580 and we may even get that on this episode white selling women not not sufficiently based
00:44:18.340 no the point that's not that it's not just what i'm talking about i think you look at why you know
00:44:23.500 sam albergia has had a long shelf life or munchess mulbug you know another one of these people
00:44:28.460 we've had on that's one of our episodes it did really well curtis yarvin you know he he i think would
00:44:34.040 have his audience eventually turn against him if he became too famous because part of his branding
00:44:39.340 is underground curtis yarvin is probably one yeah he's definitely one of those people
00:44:43.180 and if he became like a normie youtube channel that gets millions of views like rubyard people are
00:44:50.160 going to start to turn against him and that's what i think happened to rubyard is rubyard's branding
00:44:54.620 was partially underground well what i'm what i'll say though is that the comments that i see about him
00:45:01.960 online now and i'm really happy to see this very positive love his recent stuff he's i think that
00:45:09.320 he did the thing that you should do in these situations which is just keep putting out good
00:45:13.580 content share your insights like as long as you keep putting out good stuff that's inherently
00:45:18.600 interesting and it gets people thinking you know you you can you can recover you know as long as you
00:45:25.240 just don't keep going off the rails and he has returned to doing some really great stuff so yeah
00:45:30.980 but anyway yeah sell your children um really i think my big thing here is
00:45:37.520 front load their the economic benefits that you pass to your children don't don't wait and also make
00:45:47.620 it contingent on becoming an adult and we define becoming an adult as getting married and seriously
00:45:55.720 starting like a family yeah okay i mean it's just so weird when i reflect on my life these days so
00:46:04.120 thanks for helping me build this simone this has been really cool i'm here for you and we can't talk
00:46:08.920 about everything we're doing right now i i often say that maybe in a few weeks we can ask them when we go
00:46:15.740 what they're comfortable with us saying but i don't want to burn future opportunities yeah well
00:46:23.980 and stuff always ends up leaking with us which really frustrates me like in the in the past we've
00:46:29.520 said like oh we like people have been like oh you don't actually they're like nobody actually cares
00:46:34.360 who you guys are and then you know leaks like a year later oh they were actually meeting with elon
00:46:38.740 you know and it's like okay and we i just i have no idea how that comes by the way i think yeah i
00:46:46.240 don't i i literally think the new york times may have made it up and it just there was nothing we
00:46:52.340 could do about it
00:46:53.140 yeah i don't know at any rate keep your mouth shut mel i'm keeping it shut thank you beautiful
00:47:03.860 i'm keeping i'm gonna edit all of it out all of them i've already packed my eggs for them if they
00:47:08.400 cancel on us you know for some you know well it's a waste of eggs they're already in my basket
00:47:13.780 a little yeah you bought little baskets to bring them eggs and yeah of course if they let it if
00:47:19.680 they let us through security we'll see anyway i love you i'm gonna go get toasty bye
00:47:24.560 tonight with sourdough flatbread so we're doing curry tonight yes with sourdough flatbread do you know
00:47:32.680 what type of curry or just gonna grab one i mean so i can try to pull out i i know that we have
00:47:39.940 rendang i know that we have like a pineapple or mango curry but do you have like there's also just
00:47:47.200 the mystery surprise curries mystery surprise curries so are we by the way have we gone through
00:47:52.880 all the chicken teriyaki no there's a whole other bag of it it's just that i'm making you
00:47:57.700 flatbread tonight oh no i'm not asking for it i'm just wondering how much more i have to eat
00:48:02.040 before you have three more nights of it you have three more nights of it and then just so much i'll
00:48:06.740 note on other dishes by the way because i need to as we go through the mystery stuff because you
00:48:11.920 haven't made it this day so i'm not like you know just seeing it for the first time i can better
00:48:16.740 reflect on how much i like it yeah the the best of the dishes has been the what appeared to be
00:48:22.540 minced either oh that's all gone yeah we're gonna need to do more or basil chicken yeah it was the
00:48:30.240 burmese mint chicken that you really loved and we need to get more thai basil what i recommend is
00:48:35.560 next week we go to that asian market get a ton of thai basil and then i just make a very large batch
00:48:42.340 of minced burmese mint chicken and then we save it so you you can have lots because the problem is it
00:48:51.700 seems like we can only get that really good basil in bulk and you know yeah well and we can get some
00:48:57.160 there too no what i might do when we get it in in bulk is i think you can probably preserve it given
00:49:03.000 that turning it into pesto preserves it in a way just by putting the leaves in olive oil and to create
00:49:08.880 an olive oil basil so basically to make pesto just don't add anything to it you just want me
00:49:15.000 to grind up the leaves and put them in olive oil yeah and then we can use them on i mean that should
00:49:22.160 work right like then we'll have pesto is just i mean you usually freeze pesto if you're not going
00:49:26.840 to use it in like a week but i can freeze small batches of it yeah either in ice cubes or whatever
00:49:33.000 so that's not a problem it's more just a question of how you want it prepared and frozen on its own
00:49:41.260 just with olive oil or with a little bit of salt with a little bit of garlic so that's up to you
00:49:45.120 i might be just putting a little bit of garlic and you know i mean i can always add garlic
00:49:49.760 separately though so i feel like i wish you would do more which you haven't done and i'm somewhat
00:49:55.440 surprised about is you have not put in god what is it a flavicon instead of regular flavicon no
00:50:02.820 no it's it's it's bright orange fine dust it's not meant for curries i know you wanted me to put it in
00:50:12.540 in in your tom ago last night i no why why you won't even try it doesn't check out for me i i can
00:50:20.760 i'll try it at some point for something for you you won't even try simone you can't say it doesn't
00:50:26.560 work if you don't try it yes no you're absolutely right you never know yeah you're really good at
00:50:33.400 fusion cooking just like throwing in things in a way that actually works really well so i should
00:50:40.000 trust your intuition the thing is is i know you you you know in your head it seems like a terrible
00:50:44.780 idea right but you know keep in mind that what was i gonna say a lot of these cultures flavicon is
00:50:50.780 like a new invention that's used in a very niche area which is popcorn for movie theaters so i can see
00:50:58.700 other people not being aware of how good it might be as an alternative to salt yeah yeah flavicon is just
00:51:05.880 yeah so so path dependent in people's minds at this point of like this is just for movie theater
00:51:11.220 style popcorn that has to be popped also in a very specific way like you need to mix it in with
00:51:16.340 your oil as it's it's melted you don't add it after so air popped popcorn which is really popular now
00:51:23.340 is just not something that seems to use flavicon so yeah no okay just in still like cooking with it
00:51:31.980 i'm like i don't know if this bright orange super fine powder is the right thing but
00:51:38.420 syvonne i do you i like it on popcorn i don't see why i wouldn't like it on a curry
00:51:44.740 yeah i yeah i just i have to be super careful with proportions because a little goes a really long way
00:51:51.980 do you salt my curry no typically not actually well then i wouldn't put it on the curry i put it on as
00:51:59.700 an alternative for salt when you use salt okay i will do so now keep in mind though salt salt isn't
00:52:07.740 always just salt salt sometimes it's like a texture agent like consider salt on giant pretzels
00:52:13.260 you want those crunches that adds to the feature of it so you know the reason you want flavicon is you
00:52:22.880 want a kernel that is coated in flavor but oh and for the full tip for everyone apparently how movie
00:52:30.280 theater popcorn is made is they pop the popcorn in a mixture of coconut oil and flavicon so if you do
00:52:37.340 like a third of a cup of popcorn you're also adding in coconut oil and like half of a tablespoon of
00:52:46.460 flavicon or maybe half a teaspoon you have to be careful with your proportions but you can get it
00:52:51.020 out easily you eat on amazon not at a typical grocery store but it made a big difference for
00:52:56.460 our popcorn so well and all the reporters come because you you make it most nights for the kids
00:53:01.680 and so they always try it and they're like wow that's actually really good popcorn yeah they're
00:53:06.200 surprised by it yeah i love that you like know all this stuff about how to make these amazing that's
00:53:12.800 youtube shorts like you pointed out like youtube shorts are great for cooking tips so
00:53:17.520 we're just a youtube family now people people who can't cook i don't understand it like it's such
00:53:23.020 an easy thing like you just follow the directions right well you don't but it still comes out good
00:53:29.400 well i don't but i i just like throw everything in and take two countries dishes try switching them out
00:53:36.680 i think it's great oh and start with something like you know why don't we buy and sell women anymore
00:53:49.100 yeah is it useful to do that yeah okay ready
00:53:55.020 can you sing what what about your other voice what was that other way you were singing
00:54:10.740 you were singing like oh my dear can you do that
00:54:16.020 oh now you're getting all sweet again
00:54:25.640 i see how it goes