Based Camp - November 22, 2023


Should We Slut Shame?


Episode Stats

Length

32 minutes

Words per Minute

185.89433

Word Count

6,013

Sentence Count

3

Misogynist Sentences

64

Hate Speech Sentences

43


Summary

In this episode, we discuss slut shaming, the practice of shaming others for their sexual promiscuity, as well as the history of the practice, and how it relates to the gay community today. Simone and Simone discuss the origins of slut shaming and what it means to be a "slut-shamed" person.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 you know infrared systems but what are you hunting for humans no you don't hunt for humans
00:00:07.300 not Simone we don't talk about that this is recording now you can't talk about that
00:00:12.560 thing for our friends this is a joke obviously we don't hunt humans recreationally at night
00:00:23.580 we don't engage in the ultimate sport that's Simone you don't call it the ultimate sport it is
00:00:29.580 a sport I'd hardly say it's the best sport it's anything mediocre because we don't like it
00:00:36.140 isn't the ultimate sport winning hearts right yes that's the ultimate sport so yeah that's the
00:00:45.860 ultimate sport I I really admire you okay so this episode is a good one I I hope I hope what we're
00:00:53.460 going to talk about is slut shaming we're going to talk about why um people may slut shame like why
00:01:02.280 historically this trend came about because like people don't just hurt other people for no reason
00:01:07.340 right like if they're shaming you if they're doing something there's a reason for that either it's an
00:01:12.560 immediate self-interested reason or it's because cultural groups that engaged in this practice
00:01:18.240 outcompeted cultural groups that didn't engage in this practice in the case of slut shaming it's a
00:01:23.160 bit of both and then we're going to evaluate in a modern context does slut shaming still make sense
00:01:30.620 with this question being asked in two categories does slut shaming make sense if you slut shame people
00:01:38.160 of other cultural groups like does that have utility and does slut shaming make sense within a cultural
00:01:44.320 group does it make sense to to slut shame members of your own cultural group so first Simone do you want
00:01:50.200 to go over what slut shaming is for people who may not know ah yes slut shaming involves both male and
00:01:57.740 female public criticism often to other people though often to the subject themselves of someone's sexual
00:02:04.900 promiscuity so I think a lot of people define a slut as someone who actually like sleeps around a lot
00:02:10.560 but slut shaming in its traditional context could involve literally just shaming a young woman for losing
00:02:17.440 her virginity early and just then call her a slut because she like literally had sex with her boyfriend
00:02:22.260 at age 16 or something and it is it is an interesting innovation it's been around for a long time well hold on
00:02:29.020 I'd expand it further there another area where I often see slut shaming and I think this is you know when I
00:02:33.540 remember in high school oh just for dress right just looking sexually provocative just dress or action you
00:02:39.020 know when I didn't like a woman I remember in groups they call them the sluts you know and I think even
00:02:47.080 just generally like not necessarily they had done something that showed improprietary impropriety
00:02:53.400 improper it was improper yeah it was just seen as a negative general thing to say about somebody and so
00:03:00.300 it was frequently used to describe a people who you didn't like but of course it's interesting that so
00:03:06.920 like people would often refer to guys that they were making fun of as gay or some variation of that
00:03:12.180 and then they would refer to women that they didn't approve of as sluts regardless of any sexual
00:03:17.600 signaling whatsoever this is our generation by the way we're not talking I don't think this is true
00:03:21.860 as much anymore especially it is interesting to just like use it as an approximation I guess it's
00:03:27.820 kind of like calling someone mentally disabled in some way like choose whatever word of the time well I
00:03:32.100 think because they were trying to elevate the the worst things that they could think of each gender
00:03:37.620 succumbing to from the the cultural perspective of the time normative behavior women it was sexual
00:03:43.380 impropriety it was men and it's very interesting yeah well no I won't even say sexual deviance
00:03:49.060 when people in my generation so I grew up in in Texas you know and a long time ago I'm 36 now you're
00:03:56.820 very old I'm very old prodigiously yeah so when they would use the word gay derogatorily of other
00:04:05.160 young men or or things they'd be like oh that's so gay they didn't mean even at the time I thought it
00:04:10.820 was off like I didn't really do it myself which you know thank god there's no hidden recording of me
00:04:16.000 ever being no because I I was really involved with the gay community even like like early on but
00:04:21.300 anyway so they didn't mean it in a way where they were saying that these individuals were interested
00:04:27.740 in same-sex relationships that would not be seen as like the highest negative to being
00:04:33.780 this derogatory gay it was meant to mean that men were not living up to masculine ideals
00:04:40.400 it that's funny because I feel like honestly the most masculine high testosterone subgroup of men is gay men
00:04:46.900 well yeah and that's what I mean and I think that that's why there was this uh disconnect for a
00:04:52.880 long time where where a lot of people when they would use this word in a derogatory context they
00:04:57.780 didn't think of themselves as hurting the gay community because they did not mean it of the
00:05:03.320 vast majority of the gay community right they weren't actually referring to I guess if anything it's a
00:05:08.680 derogatory word just because it refers to well in their vision from condoned societal norms per their
00:05:13.880 perception yeah yeah the negative effects it had were they're all the same you know but I'm just
00:05:18.260 pointing out that this is this is what we meant so that's really interesting there and I and I
00:05:22.180 I wonder if we lost a way sorry just just a total tangent from the slut shaming thing
00:05:29.840 did we lose a way to insult men for not being masculine because we tied the core way that we would
00:05:39.640 do that insult to the term a super masculine group as a separate meaning I think now that's why
00:05:46.520 relationships well we've discovered I think we've realized that subtly subconsciously as a population and
00:05:52.320 that's why we use the word cuck more recently oh wow yes yeah actually yeah we use pussy for a bit
00:06:00.000 which didn't really catch on as much and then cuck that is so perfect and it's also a perfect thing
00:06:05.200 when people of my generation said something was gay or they said somebody was gay that was much
00:06:12.280 closer to them in today's language calling that thing cucked or calling that individual a cuck
00:06:18.380 than it was in today's generation we're like like actually being derogatory towards someone for having
00:06:25.440 a same-sex relationship yeah and I feel like even now cuck is kind of out and we're into more cringe and
00:06:30.720 cope um which maybe is even more a reflection of like obsession contemporary obsession with mental
00:06:36.940 health I don't know or like oh by the way an interesting thing about cucks is that conservative
00:06:43.200 men in our data and in other studies that have shown are actually more likely to be turned on by
00:06:48.220 cuckoldry than progressive men yeah I don't know why it's not a big effect it's like a 10 percent
00:06:53.440 difference but it's it's weird that's still meaningful you know yeah I mean it's it's fun if you're
00:06:57.440 writing an article or something anyway so slut shaming so why did slut shaming first evolve right
00:07:06.920 and where do you see slut shaming the most so historically if a woman accidentally got pregnant
00:07:13.580 before marriage that was really bad for a culture and not just a culture but a town a village because
00:07:20.740 the kids that these women had you didn't have a state welfare systems right like this money was not
00:07:27.260 as widely distributed that individual became a ward of the state and and even then you know they were
00:07:33.140 much more likely to end up going down criminal life paths or if they didn't they'd end up going down a
00:07:37.100 criminal life path and today you know it takes a long time for a kid you don't care about to become a
00:07:46.900 criminal in a daily past right like that individual typically has to become like 21 or something before
00:07:51.560 they're really a danger to other people often this is not true if you go even back to victorian england
00:07:57.280 you know if you look at oliver twist right like a huge subplot of that was the orphan pickpockets
00:08:04.520 right like but but you know and that they're not shanking people a lot and stuff like that but that
00:08:09.660 was things they did in real life so it still sucks no one wants to have their pocket picked
00:08:14.620 mm-hmm a well i mean a woman who who in these historical contexts who had a kid outside of
00:08:20.620 wedlock you know you're 10 years away from a little gremlin with a knife stabbing your your spouse you
00:08:26.260 know like there was a much shorter like timeline to like the negative effects of this so that was like
00:08:32.260 one core thing they were afraid of this right like that an individual would get pregnant and they
00:08:36.580 wouldn't have a partner to support them and it was while women actually worked back then and i'm gonna
00:08:41.000 put up a statistic here that shows a lot of people think that women in like you know you go to the
00:08:45.060 distant past didn't really work they did they worked at about the same rate that they do today
00:08:48.280 a little less than men but nothing like you know the 50s and the 60s what we actually had was women's
00:08:53.660 employment was high women's employment then a dip down then a backup but even with all of that they
00:08:59.640 you know it's difficult to rate the kid in a single income family and the types of women who were doing
00:09:04.740 this you know if they then wanted a partner they would have to find a way to get rid of the kid
00:09:08.460 which again meant orphan right because life as a partnered woman was much better in most of these
00:09:12.780 communities okay so that was one problem that you had so so so that was a negative but then you have
00:09:19.920 a secondary problem which i think is the much a bigger reason that slut shaming has been carried out
00:09:24.880 more recently which is in monogamous majority countries right which is and as we point out you never
00:09:32.400 have been an all monogamous society wealthy men are always polygynous always the thing i always point
00:09:38.360 out is is the the peak of catholic culture right you know today we talk about tradcasts and everything
00:09:43.880 like that and people think of them as being the most monogamous culture the peak of catholic culture
00:09:47.720 was louis the 14th and and that was a you know in in that culture and you know that was high french
00:09:54.560 culture right um it had many many uh concubines and stuff like that and many side pieces so if you
00:10:01.760 have enough wealth in a society no matter how much it turns towards a monogamous cultural practice
00:10:05.460 you're always going to have some level that there was shaming there was shaming there was shaming but
00:10:10.340 we'll get to that okay but we got to talk about why shaming and blah blah blah blah okay okay so
00:10:15.880 why is monogamy useful for a society right monogamy is useful for a society because it lowers the number
00:10:26.040 of unpaired men in a society great studies done on this that look at similar cultural groups you know
00:10:32.620 economic similarities etc in parts of africa because that's where you'll often have cultural
00:10:36.160 groups right next to each other we'll have one that's monogamous and one that's polygynous not
00:10:40.160 poly polygynous one man many women poly basically doesn't happen naturally it's a weird modern phenomenon
00:10:46.740 that we can maybe do another video on i think we did actually the are we monogamous video is kind
00:10:52.280 of on the question of poly but anyway okay so what you find is you have higher rates of terrorism you
00:10:58.320 have higher rates of stealing you have higher rates of prostitution you have lower trust between
00:11:02.320 individuals basically everything that can go wrong does go wrong this is due to what we call in our
00:11:06.360 books the free radical problem the free radical problem is the number of men that are unpaired in
00:11:13.180 a society is highly correlatory with the amount of social ills in that society and it's because their
00:11:20.800 biology sort of goes crazy and of course you know it's sort of an all or nothing breeding strategy for
00:11:26.480 them and if not then just a spite strategy now what's interesting is there are some studies that
00:11:32.320 counteract this when men choose male dominated societies i.e like mining towns and stuff like
00:11:39.240 that you often don't have these same negative effects at the high levels that you would expect
00:11:42.980 but i think that might be a choice thing you know like these men are saving up wealth until they
00:11:46.680 can leave and then go and find a partner yeah there may be the expectation that they will eventually
00:11:50.740 be able to get any woman they want i think also there's the effect of just seeing other people
00:11:56.280 have it and you not having it i mean we psychologically that's a really big thing is
00:12:00.580 you know we don't there is no like universal basis for human dignity or comfort there's oh it's always
00:12:08.620 relative it's well i need a big screen tv to have my human rights met because everyone else is a big
00:12:14.620 screen tv so i think that's another big factor yeah okay anyway so you you get to societies that
00:12:21.560 are mostly monogamous most of the ones that we're coming from are on the monogamous side of the
00:12:25.420 spectrum and there's a lot of benefits to this you know it it means that when a partner matches
00:12:32.380 another partner both partners are largely pulling each other off the market and this is a really
00:12:39.040 positive effect for for the rest of society because it means that you can theoretically get a society
00:12:46.280 where like 90 of males and females are paired with each other assuming you have similar gender ratios
00:12:51.980 now you do run into some problems if like you are dating downwards in terms of age and you have a
00:12:56.780 quickly growing population because that means the number of men is always going to be quite
00:13:01.220 quite a little bit smaller than the number of women you know and this is the problem you see in in
00:13:05.840 some orthodox like jewish communities where they'll date a few years down like five years
00:13:11.120 down or something like that and what that ends up meaning is because the population is growing so
00:13:15.180 quickly you're generally going to have like nine men for every 10 women which means like systemically
00:13:19.900 women even women who follow all the rules aren't finding partners but also in these communities it's
00:13:24.480 much more likely for a man to marry outside the community than it is for a woman to marry outside the
00:13:28.260 community because within a lot of groups it's believed that it's easier for a woman to fully
00:13:33.120 convert than a man to fully convert with ironically judaism being the one sort of exception here but
00:13:38.260 i had just used it as an example so whatever so yeah but okay back back on topic so let's talk about
00:13:43.700 the beginnings of of of modern slut shaming right this wasn't like this is this is post contraceptives
00:13:51.580 right post abortion so you're not dealing with the same risk of of you know women getting pregnant and
00:13:57.780 kids becoming the ward of the state well even in this scenario you actually have really negative
00:14:03.820 externalities for everyone else in a society if one woman decides to sleep around so and it's not just
00:14:12.020 the potentially orphaned children yeah so you know if i have a group of let's say 10 men and 10 women
00:14:21.260 right a monogamy world these women are matching to these men right like like based on their aggregate
00:14:29.820 desirability within a social order suppose that one of these women or two of these women let's say two
00:14:35.400 of these women you know like 20 of society says hey actually i'm gonna be i'm just gonna sleep around
00:14:41.600 i don't need to marry a guy i don't need to to be long-term monogamous with a guy to be with a guy
00:14:47.360 right well immediately a lot of guys within this community are going to artificially value these
00:14:55.340 women higher than they might otherwise value them so in a group of 10 women right these two women if
00:15:03.060 you want immediate access to sex these two women will be the highest value women to pretty much any
00:15:09.720 guy in that group right like even if they're below average if the other women aren't going out there and
00:15:14.500 being willing to have sex and and that is what a guy is interested in then these women even if
00:15:19.700 they're like near the bottom two women that they have the highest value like they're sort of playing
00:15:24.700 this arbitrage game now of course they're degrading their long-term value by doing this and yeah this
00:15:29.980 is a short-term game and that's why it's also like not so smart it's a short-term game yeah but it is an
00:15:35.640 enormously profitable short-term game if you're talking about like social status profitability
00:15:40.720 attention from men you couldn't otherwise get to pay attention to you etc like there are a lot of
00:15:46.140 short-term benefits to doing this for the individual yeah well and also if you live in a
00:15:50.560 society where having a kid with one of these people like without their consent locks them down it is a
00:15:55.920 way for a very low value woman to ultimately end up with a higher value man than she could have gotten
00:16:00.980 had she chosen a monogamous strategy or high value child support exactly yeah so this when one of these
00:16:07.720 women starts doing this it's bad for all of the women who are playing the game faithfully
00:16:11.620 right like they have lost a huge chunk of their value right the guys who previously they would have
00:16:18.840 wanted these top tier guys well they're now sleeping with these other women and they're not going to pay
00:16:25.480 attention to these women until later until they're ready to settle down or whatever and even then these
00:16:31.600 women are offering these men something that's sort of like paywalled um that that now these guys can
00:16:37.960 get for free maybe at lower quality but they can still get it for free uh if i was to word it
00:16:43.560 differently you know how much is a paywalled porn company going to make even if it's slightly higher
00:16:47.860 quality porn if there's free porn online exactly that offering is no longer that high and the men who
00:16:53.960 are sleeping with these girls let's be clear these are the top two most attractive men of this group
00:16:57.680 right if 20 of the women are sleeping around they're going to be sleeping with the top two men
00:17:01.580 because they are the highest value of the women who are sleeping around okay so there's you can
00:17:06.900 think of them almost like union scabs they sort of break the value proposition that the other women
00:17:11.500 are offering well then after a bit you you begin to get a situation in which all of the other women
00:17:18.300 are benefiting from putting an exogenous negative modifier to these women who show this level of
00:17:27.420 sexual improprieties market value right social value etc so they will tease they will attack these
00:17:35.000 women in an attempt to lower their social value so through applying this exogenous motivation
00:17:42.820 there is a cost to doing it for these women right an immediate cost not a long-term cost but an
00:17:49.860 immediate cost because this immediate cost then makes it less like beneficial to do this like if we're
00:17:55.780 just speaking about like in the moment beneficiality well then they think oh well i get called a slut i
00:18:01.320 get shamed i get disinvited to parties everything like that you know that is a reason to not go out
00:18:08.560 and sleep around within these communities now to simone's comment here which we also need to talk
00:18:15.000 about you know when this was starting there was also a huge negative long-term effect for the women who
00:18:19.100 were doing this right like if you went out and did this it was like getting a face tattoo right like
00:18:25.320 you had dramatically lowered both your social standing was in society and your ability to lock
00:18:31.680 down a long-term partner it was not really worth it except for women in generally pretty hard-up
00:18:38.640 situations either hard-up economic situations or hard-up mental situations it was just not something
00:18:44.980 that your general like upstanding mentally healthy woman was going to do in this historical context
00:18:50.060 but time goes on okay now you've got a group of women in our society who are these women who
00:19:00.780 engage in sexual impropriety have and have gotten older right and they are basically a an underclass
00:19:06.660 within society that has a motivation to lower the stigma against women like them in addition to that
00:19:14.260 men and and i know you know because i'm old uh i remember like i wanted to promote women being
00:19:20.920 slutty because i could sleep with those women right like i was one of the guys arguing oh yeah you should
00:19:25.740 totally sleep around like that's what i was saying in high school because i wanted to sleep with them
00:19:29.440 obviously right so there's there's two groups that that is promoting this it's the women who have now
00:19:36.060 entered this sort of new weird underclass and then the men who want to sleep with these women right
00:19:41.960 and here we mentioned this in the in the video of how much does sleeping around actually matter
00:19:46.920 but just for women who are like broadly unaware of this because i think our society kind of hides this
00:19:52.260 and it's something that i don't think it's easy to intuit as a woman biologically men a good portion of
00:19:57.940 men not all men seem to have an intrinsic sort of disgust reaction and and loss of attraction to women who
00:20:05.580 they know have a high body count and i think it's just one of those arousal slash aversion things that
00:20:11.960 people can't control if you're in defeat you can't control if you are into men versus women and you
00:20:19.520 can't control if it really turns you off that someone's had a lot of sexual partners yeah okay
00:20:25.260 yeah yeah and i i just think that that's sort of missed for people because our society kind of
00:20:29.580 hides it from you and if you don't believe me just go around and ask a bunch of your male friends and
00:20:33.520 you can just ignore them you can be like oh you've been brainwashed by society but i'm telling you
00:20:38.700 they happen like it it's it's an intrinsic thing so and it's not all guys again i think it's like
00:20:45.380 60 70 percent of guys from what i've seen um anyway so back to the story at hand so there was this
00:20:54.580 motivation for slut shaming but as the negative externality that people were able to apply through
00:21:02.480 slut shaming lessened over time because it did lessen over time as society normalized you know
00:21:09.100 i call it serial monogamy which was basically a form of sleeping around
00:21:12.980 then more and more people benefited from doing it because the negative external effects were not there
00:21:20.440 and so you begin to move from 20 to 40 from 40 to you know 60 right so what then happens when you
00:21:28.100 have let's say 20 or 30 of women really not sleeping around much and and then 60 70 sleeping
00:21:35.680 around a lot right or or open to sleeping around not like just totally giving it away well now you
00:21:40.780 have two categories of slut right you have category one of slut which is the serial monogamy slut
00:21:46.520 right these women are still broadly monogamous but they are moving between partners fairly quickly
00:21:51.960 but then so they just have a lot of boyfriends and then maybe husbands yeah yeah yeah and then you have
00:21:57.160 the actual like sleeping around women who just sort of sleep with anyone just lots of hookups yeah
00:22:01.480 to understand this system we're first going to talk about the women who are just sort of sleeping
00:22:05.040 around more broadly right so let's assume that they were like 70 of these so seven out of these 10
00:22:11.000 women were in this group right three of the women were still like okay i'm going to save myself etc but
00:22:17.680 then these other women whatever well who are they going to choose to sleep with right of the men
00:22:24.280 they're not sleeping with the average men they're not giving up all of what they are giving up because
00:22:29.800 they are still giving stuff up to sleep with average or below average men they are all sleeping
00:22:34.960 with the same men and because these men are non-exclusive right it's easy for them to do this
00:22:40.880 to move from one to the other to the other right so this was a system that really not really benefited
00:22:48.980 women when it was only a few women doing this but it's a system that like benefits women a lot less
00:22:54.500 the more women are participating in it yeah because then suddenly your arbitrage opportunity disappears
00:23:02.820 yeah yeah it's a tragedy of the commons issue now okay let's divide these women into two groups some
00:23:09.160 who are still sort of doing the monogamy thing and some that are being just totally promiscuous you
00:23:13.900 know very low barriers to sexual access well the ones who are totally promiscuous they're both hurting
00:23:18.320 the ones who are waiting for marriage but the one but but not as much because now those women are like
00:23:23.200 a unique asset if you get what i mean right like they are something that no one else can get and that
00:23:29.460 makes sense for a specific class of guy that's generally not the guys who are out there sleeping
00:23:33.420 around right the women who they actually hurt the most are the serial monogamy women because now these
00:23:40.040 women don't really have anything differential over the completely slutty women right like they've also been
00:23:45.220 with a number of partners but they're not giving out sex for free you know they're out there basically
00:23:50.360 charging for it whether it's dates or time or anything like that right and so these other women are even
00:23:55.300 more like analogous to just like straight up scab breakers so even as sexual impropriety is normalized
00:24:01.660 within society there is still a strong motivation to slut shame these women right for a big a big portion of the
00:24:08.900 population and as we move further and further along as a society now there's new types of slides right
00:24:16.220 these are women who are doing only fans accounts these are women who are posting stuff online right
00:24:24.800 yeah so not actually sleeping with people just yeah but these women are now actually like a lower
00:24:31.820 category of slut you could almost say than the ones who were just sleeping around a lot because now they're
00:24:35.580 hurting those women's ability to exercise what they were previously getting from the market well and i mean i think
00:24:41.660 arguably what's interesting about the threat posed by only fans artists is that
00:24:47.880 arguably what women really want from men is resources not necessarily exclusivity yeah like if they had to
00:24:57.500 choose they might choose resources over exclusivity and so you could argue that the only fans women are more of a
00:25:04.940 threat because they will command more in terms of financial resources than you know maybe a really cheap date
00:25:11.780 yeah so does slut shaming make sense in a modern context i want to hear your intuition like do you think that
00:25:20.360 you personally benefit from it
00:25:21.820 no because i don't understand when people are insulting me so i don't know but what i will say is i think that
00:25:32.860 shame as a concept is something i'm really really warming up to because it is a way to enforce
00:25:39.580 social norms without making a law or a rule so keep in mind one thing we haven't been discussing here is
00:25:45.900 like oh you know if you're found sleeping out of wedlock or you're found like you know sleeping around
00:25:51.700 as a young woman or even dressing provocatively like we're gonna jail you we're gonna beat you we're gonna
00:25:55.980 kill you you know it is just we're gonna we're gonna talk about you behind your back and in front
00:26:00.780 of you and be mean which is way nicer than being killed or jailed or tortured like physically although
00:26:08.620 people can argue that mental rejection social rejection is more painful than torture so i like it
00:26:14.580 because i think it allows a society to enforce important social social norms without having blanket
00:26:21.420 laws and i also like it because i think it works uniquely well in a pluralistic society because if
00:26:27.500 for example like a super conservative religious person who you don't identify with calls you a
00:26:34.620 slut you're just like i don't know like that you know that holier than thou weird catholic girl thinks
00:26:41.020 i'm a slut i don't care because i don't care about her culture so it also allows for for cultures to enforce
00:26:46.780 norms on their own people and even when they try to enforce those norms on outsiders they're not
00:26:51.900 hurting the outsiders only people who care about the in-group will be subject to those rules so to
00:26:57.980 me it seems super libertarian super laissez-faire but also i mean a lot of these social norms are
00:27:03.900 important to the points you made about societal stability so i think slut-shaming and other forms of
00:27:07.900 shame are really really wonderful so i might agree i i would say i mean like when i think about the
00:27:14.060 culture i would raise my kids like what am i telling them yeah and generally i just don't think
00:27:18.780 it's worth it when you apply to shame them what to shame them about anything no for them to shame other
00:27:25.340 people so so i'll explain why so if they go out there and they are broadly applying this negative
00:27:32.700 externality of shut slamming to society as a whole like all of the women in society who are out there
00:27:38.620 doing this well now they're hurting those people i mean that's what you're doing with a negative
00:27:42.380 externality that now provides motivation for those women the sluts to apply negative externalities to
00:27:48.060 them to prevent this kind of behavior i.e to do things that lower their social standing and this
00:27:53.260 is what we're beginning to see around slut-shaming right when the sluts rule the world right like
00:27:58.220 they've already taken over they've already won in mainstream society if you go out there and you
00:28:03.100 try to apply negative externalities to them those negative externalities actually reflect back onto you
00:28:09.260 at a much higher level because your behavior is a non-normative behavior that being the case
00:28:16.620 i don't think that there's a benefit to our kids doing it i do think that there's a benefit to them
00:28:22.140 making it known what they're looking for in a partner and that may be a low body count and i think
00:28:26.700 loudly signaling that is a valuable thing but signal it as i want somebody from one of
00:28:32.220 you know these deviant cultural groups right while affirming the cultural group for living in a
00:28:38.780 lifestyle that you don't believe it like i just don't think you're going to be able to change
00:28:44.380 mainstream society or mainstream action through such what about within our own culture or our own family
00:28:49.900 yeah no within your own culture i think it makes a lot of sense that's my whole point is one
00:28:55.020 any sort of shaming for someone outside your culture is feckless and pointless just makes you
00:29:00.700 look bad but i think within your culture i i just i think it's i think it's a really great non-coercive
00:29:04.940 way in fact i think you know if anything you look kind of lame shaming people outside your culture
00:29:10.060 because they don't care and it just makes you look weird but though it could you know to our other
00:29:14.460 conversations about the importantness of othering yourself to kind of keep you within your culture is
00:29:20.620 really important so it could play a good role in that it's more of a sense to just really
00:29:24.380 aggressively only shame was in your culture and make it clear what your intercultural status
00:29:29.500 hierarchy is going to be based on yeah and that sexual promiscuity and i hate to say this do you
00:29:35.340 think i mean is there any real negative to sexual promiscuity for men yes absolutely but it comes more
00:29:42.700 and it comes more from the risks of stds and of potentially getting a woman and potentially getting
00:29:49.180 a woman accusing you of misconduct so no that's very hot yeah i guess it makes sense it's extremely
00:29:55.340 risky yeah i mean it's it's you could hurt someone's feelings you could really you know if you if you
00:30:01.740 aren't very socially savvy and you aren't very careful about the way that you engage with people
00:30:06.220 you could hurt a lot of people we talked about this all right delta you changed my mind on this one i
00:30:11.180 think you're right um you have convinced me to to slut shame our sons oh good yeah a little a little
00:30:21.500 i still think they need practice more than the girls do
00:30:26.380 but be careful yeah no i i do agree with what what you're saying but i do agree that especially
00:30:32.620 for men like irl relationship experience is crucial because what are they doing otherwise they're just
00:30:38.860 watching porn online and that is not a way to learn how relationships work at all but because
00:30:44.540 it gives people super well realistic expectations important traits like being aggressive salesmanship
00:30:51.020 you know no no it's i agree that it's good i don't think that young men need to necessarily
00:30:57.100 go all the way to like you know piv sex but whatever you do yeah maybe there's other ways you could
00:31:04.460 build sort of sexual trophies other than full sexual intercourse what would that look like
00:31:11.260 intimacy i mean like you know hand jobs blow jobs like that's that's fine with me i mean it still
00:31:15.580 runs risk of like hurting it has all of the risks that you just and accusing no no no not pregnancy
00:31:23.340 not pregnancy that's a big one that to me is like the biggest risk of all like the idea of being on
00:31:28.780 the hook with child like so that is that is where i draw the line also i i feel like the risk of a
00:31:33.180 woman retroactively you know having a lot of problems a lot of women don't count hand jobs blow
00:31:39.420 jobs etc as sex so they could still consider themselves virgins and you know it's you know
00:31:44.380 i feel like you you cross an additional barrier when there is piv sex involved so i mean i'm still
00:31:50.380 saying there's a big risk and like but if you have to be intimate be intimate like people have been
00:31:54.940 intimate when sexual activity has been taboo for the longest time where they just like
00:32:02.060 do everything but piv sex you know i feel that makes sense well i love you simone this has been
00:32:07.980 a helpful conversation for me and i hope was enjoyable for our audience
00:32:20.220 you