Based Camp

00:00:00.000 Hello, Simone. I'm excited to be talking to you today.

00:00:02.520 Today, we are going to be talking about why Asians seem to hate being parents.

00:00:08.300 And the statistics are really clear.

00:00:10.760 Like, Asians do not get as much joy from being parents as other ethnic groups.

00:00:15.560 They do not like being around kids as much as other ethnic groups.

00:00:18.760 They do not find it as rewarding as other ethnic groups.

00:00:21.960 And you see this across Asian groups.

00:00:24.980 And in addition to that, you see this correlated heavily, I think, in part with why so many Asian countries have ultra-low fertility rates or their level of income.

00:00:36.320 I mean, if you're saying, why are they so low fertility?

00:00:40.420 Well, you know, it might have something to do with them not liking being parents.

00:00:44.100 That would obviously affect things.

00:00:46.420 And this is actually brought to my attention by Simone, which I thought was really interesting.

00:00:49.820 The second thing we're going to dig into is interesting customs focusing on Korea, as an example here, because it is the lowest fertility of these countries.

00:00:59.680 So we're going to look at what it feels like to be an average Korean or what Koreans are saying in the polls right now.

00:01:04.940 And then we're going to go from that to some of the ceremonies that shocked me.

00:01:08.760 These ultra-expensive ceremonies that Koreans have to have.

00:01:12.320 Oh, that I was telling you about, like the first birthdays, things like that.

00:01:15.220 Yeah, first birthdays, the postpartum, I didn't realize what percent of Koreans went to these like special postpartum spas.

00:01:22.480 It's like 80% or something.

00:01:24.120 It's really hot.

00:01:25.100 It's huge.

00:01:25.620 And one of their proposed pro-natalist policies is to provide more coverage for payment for those.

00:01:32.220 Because people are like, well, this is so expensive.

00:01:34.500 How can I afford it?

00:01:35.480 But then no one else goes to them.

00:01:38.260 This is a you thing.

00:01:39.640 But whatever.

00:01:40.200 I mean, just before we go through all the stats, I'll also get to my explanation for why.

00:01:48.880 So you don't need to stay and wait and wonder here.

00:01:52.580 Why am I going to say?

00:01:53.800 I think that the genetic thing could be part of it.

00:01:56.180 See, our episode is Low East Asian Fertility Genetic.

00:01:58.600 There is an evolutionary reason why it may be lower, which would also tie to parenting joy.

00:02:04.100 But the second thing that I think it might be, and I think this is probably the bigger thing, is I think that we should divide parenting on an axis.

00:02:13.240 You know, like that political axis chart?

00:02:16.620 Oh, every time I hear axis, I just think hot, crazy.

00:02:20.840 It's the only graph I ever think of.

00:02:22.780 Oh, the hot, crazy axis.

00:02:25.000 Economic, liberal, you know, the conservative.

00:02:27.700 Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

00:02:29.220 So I think all parenting styles fall broadly on an axis of how high touch they are versus how low touch they are.

00:02:38.220 Okay.

00:02:38.760 And how loving they are versus how ruthless they are.

00:02:43.380 Oh, so like helicopter to free range, tiger mom to us.

00:02:49.120 Hippie dad.

00:02:49.920 Yeah.

00:02:50.180 So, so, so, so if you're talking about the various quadrants, the quadrant that is high touch and ruthless would be tiger mom.

00:02:58.720 Oh, yes.

00:02:59.160 Okay.

00:02:59.500 Yeah.

00:02:59.860 You see, there's another Haitian parenting.

00:03:01.660 High touch, but very loving would be gentle parenting.

00:03:06.780 Low touch, but very loving is us.

00:03:09.460 Parenting.

00:03:10.380 Oh, no, sorry.

00:03:11.020 We're, wait, we're, we're low touch, but loving.

00:03:13.680 No, we're low touch, but quite ruthless for a lot of people.

00:03:17.100 Telling kids that a love is something that they have to earn.

00:03:20.380 We don't even do birthday parties for them, Simone.

00:03:23.040 We absolutely finish our kids.

00:03:23.680 Yeah, we do what they actually enjoy because we really love them, which is we do their favorite activity of the day, and then we take them to a store and they get to get anything they want.

00:03:31.260 That's way better than we're still going to.

00:03:32.900 You don't allow me to take the kids to the store barely ever.

00:03:36.280 On their birthdays, I do.

00:03:38.540 One, one day a year, they get to go to a store.

00:03:41.060 You just, you were just criticizing me for that.

00:03:43.700 The point here being, Simone, is compared to most other people, and I would even say, because I encourage our kids to fight, I encourage them to roughhouse.

00:04:05.100 I think many people would see us, well, maybe not as aggressive or intentionally cruel as tiger parents.

00:04:13.320 We do things that are harsher than some of the things that tiger parents do.

00:04:17.280 So, like, when I look at my own upbringing, I reference things like my parents being like, I was like, well, what if I get kicked out of school?

00:04:24.480 Like, what if things get hard for me?

00:04:25.540 And they're like, well, don't come home.

00:04:27.680 I was like, wait, what?

00:04:28.540 Like, you're my parents are supposed to love me unconditionally.

00:04:31.340 And they're like, everybody only loves you conditionally.

00:04:33.600 And I treat my kids the same way.

00:04:35.300 If they're not thriving, if they're not living up to their potential as a Collins, then they don't deserve any support.

00:04:42.140 And even tiger moms give their kids support when they're struggling.

00:04:44.640 But what I was going to argue here before we got very derailed is I think that the high touch plus high ruthlessness category of parenting, it's very hard to enjoy because you are doing all of the hardest parts of parenting.

00:04:58.740 And I think it's the lowest fertility parent group, whereas I think our parenting group, the ruthless and low touch parenting group, is the highest fertility of all the parenting groups because it's both effective and requires very little time.

00:05:11.920 But let's go into this.

00:05:16.460 So we're talking about just the broad statistics here, like enjoyability, all right?

00:05:21.320 While Black parents find being a parent enjoyable 39% of the time, Hispanics 39% of the time as well, Asians, it's only 13%.

00:05:31.080 Yeah, they're not having fun.

00:05:35.180 18%.

00:05:35.620 This is by Pew, by the way.

00:05:36.720 Yeah, and this is their big caveat here was this is only for English speaking Asian parents.

00:05:42.180 It doesn't necessarily speak for parenting in East Asia.

00:05:44.360 But when you look at birth rates in East Asia, you're like, I mean, no, actually, remember the study that we looked at that was how important are various things to you in your life?

00:05:52.960 And it compared European countries and East Asian countries and in European countries, like in the top, like three was always like family.

00:06:01.500 Oh, and South Koreans especially put material wealth over.

00:06:06.500 Yeah.

00:06:07.400 Well, no, in fact, of where they rank things, if you look at the countries on Earth that rank family the lowest in terms of the satisfaction it gives them, they are all in Southeast Asia.

00:06:18.900 Well, and I don't know how accurate they are, but in K-dramas, family and in-law is typically the source of, they're the source of stress and drama and terrible Machiavellian action, not support, love and inclusion.

00:06:33.460 So if you're looking at how rewarding they find it, Black, 45% see it as very rewarding.

00:06:40.180 Hispanic, 45% see it as very rewarding.

00:06:42.600 Asian, 23%.

00:06:43.900 And here you see whites in the middle at 31%.

00:06:46.580 I'd also put Black parenting in the same category as art parenting, which is, I think, why Blacks find parenting much more enjoyable than other ethnic groups.

00:06:55.000 Yeah, I mean, when you look across, and this is from the Pew Research Centers, like it's part of a larger survey results report on race, sorry, on parenting in America today.

00:07:06.520 But this is Section 2, Race, Ethnicity, and Parenting.

00:07:10.900 It just looks like Black families and Hispanic families are just way more family-oriented, kid-oriented, they enjoy it, they're into it, and they're more likely to represent it as the most important thing.

00:07:22.520 Did you have a lot of Hispanic friends growing up?

00:07:25.200 I had some, not a ton, but they were definitely more family-oriented.

00:07:29.280 Here's the really weird thing.

00:07:30.780 The points I'm making is while they are more family-oriented, they are much more in the low-touch, ruthless category of parenting than white families are.

00:07:39.120 Yeah, no, their parents weren't forcers, for sure, and they were very low-touch.

00:07:42.540 What was really weird to me about, because most of my friends in high school were Asian, and then a few, I had a few white friends, and the weird, it's just that, you know how in some kid cartoons, it's just all the kids and you never ever see parents?

00:08:01.060 Like, it's like, to a weird extent, like, but these people feed you, you live in their house, why are they not in this show?

00:08:08.740 So, that's how it was with my Asian friends.

00:08:14.780 I did not.

00:08:16.980 You know, now that you mention it, I never met any of my Asian friends' parents.

00:08:20.740 And what's really weird is when I contrast that with my white friends, I was, like, as much friends with their parents as I was with them.

00:08:29.480 I think they may actually not be indicative of parenting style, but indicative of parental racism.

00:08:35.480 I think that the kids may have felt that there would have been a degree of disapproval by bringing white kids around.

00:08:41.180 I don't know, but they were just so, I don't know, because that's, here's the weird thing, actually, is I would hang out sometimes at their houses.

00:08:47.200 Their parents weren't there.

00:08:48.260 Whereas I would hang out at, like, my white friends' houses, and their parents would serve me grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, and they'd be there.

00:08:54.700 And they're like, hey, how are you doing?

00:08:55.940 They'd want to talk with us.

00:08:57.160 And the Asian parents just weren't around.

00:09:00.580 Like, maybe they were working.

00:09:02.280 I just, I don't know.

00:09:03.020 They were, like, conspicuously absent for the most part.

00:09:06.880 Fascinating.

00:09:08.040 Other people can say if they've experienced this as well.

00:09:10.320 But I didn't have that many Asian friends growing up.

00:09:13.140 I had Indian friends.

00:09:14.540 I don't remember.

00:09:15.100 Indian friends' parents were, like, they were tiny.

00:09:18.040 My Indian friends' family.

00:09:19.200 They were conspicuously absent, I'd say.

00:09:21.560 They were there.

00:09:21.980 They were super there.

00:09:22.640 And they were super, like, cool and welcoming and friendly.

00:09:25.340 They were, like, now as an adult, like, when I think upon the different ethnic groups of my friends as a kid, the white parents were, like, uncomfortably absent.

00:09:35.960 Yeah.

00:09:36.700 Like, hanging out with them was also hanging out with their parents.

00:09:40.380 It'd be like, hey, do you want to come out?

00:09:42.000 Like, hang out with me and my parents?

00:09:44.120 Like, it was weird.

00:09:44.740 Yeah, no, it was weird.

00:09:46.820 Like, you had to, like, really befriend their parents, and their parents would, like, find excuses.

00:09:51.780 Like, as an adult now, I'm thinking back on it.

00:09:53.780 I'm like, that's a little creepy.

00:09:55.380 Yeah, you were really doing the activity with them.

00:09:57.440 And, like, I went to Disneyland with a friend and her dad.

00:10:00.080 And I went to, you know, like, you'd hang out with, it would be all together.

00:10:04.320 The meals would be all together.

00:10:05.540 The activity would be all together.

00:10:07.040 That's, yeah.

00:10:07.780 I think it really shows how conspicuously different different cultural groups are.

00:10:11.880 Yeah, that is interesting.

00:10:14.260 Even just noticing these cultural differences, like, now that I'm thinking through it historically, and I'm like, oh, yeah, that was definitely.

00:10:20.900 It's like, I'm putting other graphs on screen here.

00:10:22.920 This isn't just this pupil that found this.

00:10:25.900 Something else from the pupil that I wanted to talk about, though, which I found was really interesting, which was not just how they themselves enjoyed parenting or saw it as the most important thing in their lives.

00:10:35.360 But the survey results on how differently they wanted to raise their children from how they were raised.

00:10:43.000 And that really surprised me.

00:10:46.040 That was super interesting.

00:10:47.800 What did you say?

00:10:48.560 That despite really, really loving parenting, the Hispanic families were the most likely to say that they wanted to raise their children somewhat or very differently from their parents.

00:11:01.740 Because you'd think when you look at the other stats, oh, you know, I see parenting as a big deal.

00:11:07.560 I love parenting.

00:11:08.840 And yet they're like, but I've got to do it really, really for my mom and dad.

00:11:12.620 That that just surprised me because I would just assume that, like, you know, our whole thesis is you are you have an 18 year sales pitch to your kids.

00:11:19.680 You give them a great culture.

00:11:21.180 They had such a great experience that they want to pass that on to their own children.

00:11:25.780 And here what we're seeing is something very different.

00:11:27.880 They're like, well, my experience sucked, but I'm really into doing it again.

00:11:33.140 But an interesting thing, I was just thinking about my Hispanic friends growing up in the same way that when you hung out with white people, there was always like their parents would come and join along.

00:11:42.780 When you hang out with Hispanic friends, they always bring along some like other friend group that they expect you to like immediately get along with.

00:11:50.160 That's like all other Hispanic kids.

00:11:51.860 I know.

00:11:52.420 I didn't experience that.

00:11:53.740 I had this happen to be a number, especially when I was living in.

00:11:57.940 Well, so I would go to like Mexico or something or go to other Central American countries where my families would know, like other wealthy families.

00:12:05.240 And they just pawn us off with the kids.

00:12:07.640 Then the kids would always be like, OK, we're going to go play soccer with all the other guys.

00:12:11.180 But we're going to go like and white kids would like never do this or very rarely do this.

00:12:16.240 I very rarely had a white kid expect me to get along with another group of people just because I wanted to hang out with them.

00:12:24.480 Whereas with Hispanic kids, while it wasn't their parents that you were immediately expected to get along with, it was a separate social network that had its own dominance hierarchy.

00:12:34.880 And it was really uncomfortable because you were always at the absolute bottom as the new guy.

00:12:39.240 And I really hated that.

00:12:40.880 Like just being forced at the bottom of some large social hierarchy.

00:12:45.160 I went to a few of that.

00:12:48.140 It did.

00:12:49.000 It did.

00:12:49.580 I was like, I'd always rather be alone than at the bottom of a social hierarchy.

00:12:54.280 But I think that you see the answer to this before we go further in this particular statistic, which is I might have lost the statistics here is Asian parents expect a lot more of themselves as parents than other S-singers.

00:13:08.240 And you'll see this as we go through the anecdotes here.

00:13:11.800 Yes, we moving in for my son's new job.

00:13:14.300 Oh, good.

00:13:14.920 What job?

00:13:15.680 Neurosurgeon.

00:13:18.560 Nice.

00:13:19.180 How old your son?

00:13:20.300 Nine.

00:13:22.860 Nice.

00:13:23.240 My son's such a failure, he can't even cook rice.

00:13:27.420 I got an A-minus.

00:13:28.540 I have no hope of a future job career and will always be a farmer.

00:13:33.800 But I got the highest grade in the class.

00:13:36.880 I'm in the downmost class in school.

00:13:38.920 I was late to school today.

00:13:40.880 Please smack me with whatever convenient footwear you're currently wearing.

00:13:44.920 I don't want to take piano lessons anymore.

00:13:46.880 I hate you.

00:13:47.700 Can I become a pianist?

00:13:48.740 I aspire to be homeless.

00:13:50.400 I want to take a gap year and go travel and go find myself.

00:13:53.580 I accidentally thought I was from a white family.

00:13:56.320 I'm 18.

00:13:57.040 I just got a girlfriend.

00:13:58.760 I'm throwing away all career prospects and going to live under a bitch.

00:14:02.860 I'm 22.

00:14:03.780 I'm still single.

00:14:04.540 I have never talked to a girl and have no hope of marriage.

00:14:08.460 They just expect to be putting in a lot, lot, lot more labor.

00:14:12.340 Well, and this shows in, you know, when you were discussed in our podcast on Asians not

00:14:17.400 having higher IQs per se, it's just a cultural thing.

00:14:20.320 They are studying more hours a week.

00:14:22.180 They work an average of 11 extra hours a week.

00:14:24.420 Yeah, they do the work.

00:14:25.860 And yeah, that's going to be less pleasant.

00:14:28.120 But the outcome is that they have higher income.

00:14:32.280 They have higher achievement.

00:14:33.200 They have higher test scores.

00:14:34.540 What's interesting, actually, this is kind of unrelated, but Cremu on Twitter tweeted

00:14:39.580 about this.

00:14:40.500 Someone did a study on East Asian representation and leadership in the United States that despite

00:14:46.660 their disproportionate, you know, earnings and higher IQ as measured in various ways,

00:14:52.920 East Asians are uniquely disproportionately represented in upper leadership in organizations.

00:14:58.440 And the researchers chalked it up to a collective cultural lack of assertiveness, if memory serves, which is like really spicy to say.

00:15:09.980 And Cremu was just like, wow, like, brave, brave to do this.

00:15:14.440 But I thought that was really interesting.

00:15:15.740 Like, parents are breaking their baths to do this.

00:15:20.340 Kids are working way harder all week.

00:15:23.260 They're earning more and they're performing really well.

00:15:27.560 But also, they're not leaders and they hate their parenting and they don't like their child.

00:15:32.080 I don't know.

00:15:32.660 Like, I'm kind of wondering, like, is this culture worth it?

00:15:35.180 Like, something isn't working quite right here, at least in the United States.

00:15:38.720 Well, let's talk about what's going on in Korea right now.

00:15:40.860 I found this tweet series that you sent me really fascinating on the current situation of what it's like to live in Korea at the moment.

00:15:46.840 It was like grafts and everything.

00:15:48.220 Yeah.

00:15:49.060 So just to go over it, it's by our...

00:15:51.300 That's a tip to Scott Alexander for sharing that in his link roundup.

00:15:53.520 I love his link roundup.

00:15:54.840 I mean, yeah, it's by our Taka.

00:15:56.880 Yeah, Scott Alexander, a hero.

00:15:59.240 Anyway, so 83% of young Korean women think of South Korea as quote unquote hell.

00:16:04.300 And 80% of them want to leave Korea.

00:16:07.580 Just dwell on this.

00:16:09.680 Can you imagine Americans saying that about America?

00:16:12.980 I guess the progressives do right now.

00:16:15.460 83% of young women in South Korea think of the country as hell.

00:16:20.360 And 80% want to leave the country.

00:16:23.120 And then they say, if your mental model of South Korea does not match this, it's your mental model that's wrong, not the data that's wrong.

00:16:30.760 Yeah, clearly.

00:16:31.300 And I think that, well, I mean, I want to go over this chart more broadly because it's like more weird or scary than that even.

00:16:39.960 So if you're looking at men versus women, younger generation versus older generation, people who see South Korea as hell and the younger generation, it is 83.1% of young women and 78.4% of young men.

00:16:55.320 So the majority of young people.

00:16:58.620 But in terms of old people, like, is it super lower?

00:17:02.000 64.4% of older women and 63.9% of older men.

00:17:07.300 So interesting, about the same for the two older genders, but still well over.

00:17:10.600 They are not happy despite the incredible rise in living standards in the country just because the culture is, if you watch our other episode of low fertility rates in South Korea, is genuinely hellish in many ways.

00:17:22.940 I would not raise my kids in that culture.

00:17:27.100 And I lived there.

00:17:28.320 I worked there.

00:17:29.240 I don't know that.

00:17:29.860 I lived there for like a year.

00:17:31.040 I worked there for a really long time.

00:17:32.460 I really like South Korea.

00:17:34.100 What if you just homeschooled your kids?

00:17:36.160 I feel like a lot of there are a lot of great child amenities in South Korea.

00:17:39.960 I don't know if you're allowed to.

00:17:42.020 It's neither explicitly legal or illegal.

00:17:44.620 We'll get into why.

00:17:45.720 It's neither because nobody would do it anyway.

00:17:49.000 Oh.

00:17:49.940 Okay.

00:17:50.220 Well, if you homeschool your kids in South Korea, you'd have to homeschool them just for that one test.

00:17:55.720 And that one test determines everything about their future.

00:17:59.100 I don't know.

00:17:59.580 Well, no, no.

00:18:00.060 I mean, like, but in the modern world, right?

00:18:02.040 Like, we have come to agree that our kids are probably never going to get jobs because jobs kind of aren't going to exist anymore.

00:18:08.460 Yeah, but South Koreans are going to be the last people to accept that reality.

00:18:13.320 Right.

00:18:13.560 But if you and I were to just be living in South Korea, we could homeschool our kids.

00:18:20.120 We'd teach our kids how to become entrepreneurs.

00:18:23.020 We'd enjoy Korea's, Seoul's amazing amenities for kids.

00:18:26.940 I don't know.

00:18:27.520 Like, it seems I'd be okay with, but you have to be off the grid.

00:18:31.640 Many South Koreans did this.

00:18:32.740 So some South Koreans I knew in the country, like, one of them was a very successful entrepreneur in the country.

00:18:37.780 His parents did something similar to, like, our sort of ruthless, low-touch parenting thing that we've talked about doing.

00:18:43.000 And we've talked about this as part of our parenting.

00:18:44.380 What's interesting is he dropped his kid off in Australia when he turned, like, of age and was, like, come back in six months.

00:18:51.920 Find out how to work.

00:18:52.920 Find out how to support yourself.

00:18:54.220 Find out how to get a house.

00:18:55.280 And the kid had to do all of that.

00:18:56.840 And that's an example of very low-touch, very ruthless, but it leads to really high results.

00:19:01.480 Like, for example, the kid, if you can survive your cryptea, that was an old Spartan tradition.

00:19:05.980 But then some of your friends from South Korea have just left.

00:19:10.740 They are raising their kids, but...

00:19:13.020 Oh, yeah, I see that.

00:19:14.100 I'm saying a lot of words in South Korea who are just, like, you don't understand.

00:19:17.540 Like, why don't I just, like, my aspiration is to go to New Zealand and meet a guy.

00:19:21.040 Go to the U.S. and meet a guy.

00:19:22.220 Like, anyone is better than what's expected of me here.

00:19:25.320 And we'll talk a little bit about that.

00:19:27.720 I don't think it's as...

00:19:28.760 I think that their view might be unrealistic of men from other cultures to an extent, but there is some truth to it.

00:19:36.840 That they've...

00:19:37.900 It's become expected that they take on a lot of their roles at work, but they are still expected to take on as many of their roles at home as they did back when they were full-time homemakers.

00:19:48.800 And it's really hard to be a woman in that sort of environment.

00:19:52.960 While at the same time, men are completely dehumanized by the female population,

00:19:57.180 they really do not care about the sacrifices that men are making.

00:20:01.580 I have seen this in their writings.

00:20:03.360 They just seem to have a level of, like, the gender fight there is a lot bigger than the gender fight in other areas.

00:20:10.160 But there's other videos on that.

00:20:11.320 I don't want to get too far into that.

00:20:12.640 I want to go over this graph more.

00:20:14.340 So it wants to leave the country, okay?

00:20:17.360 Of young women, it's 79.1%.

00:20:20.520 Of young men, it's 72.3%.

00:20:22.840 That's wild.

00:20:25.060 Want to leave the country.

00:20:25.980 Of older people, it's 64.6% of old women and 66% of old men.

00:20:32.140 Yeah, so it's not just that, like, the unborn are essentially leaving by never being born.

00:20:38.620 It's that those who are already alive are noping out or want to.

00:20:42.880 I think most people are too lazy to ever leave.

00:20:45.280 So here's an interesting one.

00:20:47.680 People born into poverty can never compete with those born into wells.

00:20:51.600 How many people in the country think this?

00:20:53.440 89.3% of young women, 81.7% of young men.

00:20:57.880 With the older generation, they agree.

00:20:59.380 88.9% of old women, 83.3% of old men.

00:21:04.280 And I actually kind of, like, having lived in Korea, it is way, at least, perceptionally harder to move up within the country than it is in a place like the United States.

00:21:16.180 Like, the systems are really quite against you.

00:21:18.780 But I want to keep going with this.

00:21:20.700 They go, then, if you have doubts about this particular survey or its results, note that it's consistent with other independently conducted surveys.

00:21:27.400 They have one here in the Korean Times.

00:21:28.760 And then they have one here that says, good comment for the thread.

00:21:33.460 And this person is saying, having been here for two months, here are my thoughts.

00:21:37.460 I'm more aware of what the 18 to 35 age group thinks, but I don't really know about the older generation.

00:21:42.600 It's obvious that this country has evolved very fast economically, but it's had some social issues that are not being addressed properly.

00:21:50.560 Having the lowest fertility rate in the world is revealing something.

00:21:53.700 I think they're experiencing the same changes we observed in the West when we wanted women to work.

00:21:59.880 First, I believe they didn't give women the right to work because it's kind and progressive.

00:22:04.940 I believe they didn't want 50% of the population not creating value.

00:22:07.720 I don't know if I believe that.

00:22:08.560 That said, Korean women are working as hard and earning as much money as Korean men, but they're still treated as if they couldn't survive without a man.

00:22:16.940 This creates a situation where the man has a very hard time seducing a woman for long-term relationships.

00:22:23.860 I spoke to some Korean girls, and some of them told me that they felt they were being treated like shit.

00:22:28.720 One of them even used the term grape meat, which shocked me because if you were just traveling there, you wouldn't imagine this.

00:22:36.520 If you take the list, work very hard at school to avoid being a failure and shaming your family.

00:22:41.740 Once you're done, military service for men.

00:22:43.760 Start working at a company.

00:22:45.360 You're a junior.

00:22:46.000 You're not getting paid well.

00:22:47.200 You're literally a slave to your in-wood or your parents.

00:22:50.160 Tip your car windows because social nerves have restricted you from interacting with strangers unless you're a worker, clerk, waiter, colleague, or customer.

00:22:59.140 Your goal is to buy a Korean word, and it means home, and never leave its surroundings.

00:23:05.020 For this, you have to work 80 hours a week.

00:23:07.320 If you're a woman, you're also getting harassed by men in your free time.

00:23:10.640 If you're trying to divorce, get killed, be addicted to Korean dramas because this is the only thing you can relax with, rarely leave your home.

00:23:18.980 If you're a man, you have a pretty bad opinion of women who hang out and are not considering them for long-term relationships.

00:23:25.560 Give your life to your job.

00:23:27.040 How are you supposed to meet and make babies?

00:23:28.840 I still haven't understood how I've seen happy couples and how there's happy women and men.

00:23:32.980 And obviously, it's a sad show.

00:23:34.760 It's not working.

00:23:35.940 And their population might go extinct in 100 years.

00:23:38.240 Nothing changes.

00:23:39.280 But yeah, I really saw the same thing when I was in Korea.

00:23:42.400 My company was as nice as a company could be to women.

00:23:45.080 It was a high-tier VC firm to work at.

00:23:47.820 And even there, you know, I wonder, do you motivate yourself?

00:23:53.420 Like, when you're just going to an office every day, an office life is so structured, and there's so much office theater, are you just living like a theatrical game of a life in a hope of not disappointing X or Y group?

00:24:07.620 Like, no real dreams of improving things or making things better.

00:24:12.560 I get it.

00:24:13.760 Your thoughts before we go further with the specific practices in Korea?

00:24:17.460 No, it just, I think this is a great example of a culture that has hit modernity and broken.

00:24:29.120 This is exactly why culture has to be updated.

00:24:32.620 Yeah, this is why you have to be flexible and be willing to update your culture.

00:24:35.400 Because I do not think Korean culture as it is structured, and you'll see more of this in a sec, could conceivably serve off.

00:24:41.880 No matter what they did, I don't understand how they're going to survive.

00:24:44.420 And again, our other Korean movie video goes into many more structural reasons for this.

00:24:49.660 This is almost sort of like an addendum to that that goes over just, like, insane specifics.

00:24:55.120 So here is one example of an insane specific additional cost for kids.

00:25:00.840 Korean postnatal hotels, also known as the Shajuan, and I'll put some pictures on screen of this, are special, like, they're really nice looking.

00:25:08.580 Yeah, they sound great.

00:25:09.860 Like, we have nothing against the concept.

00:25:12.220 I do, and I'll explain why in a second.

00:25:13.880 They are specialized facilities that provide comprehensive postpartum care for new mothers in Korea.

00:25:20.380 These centers offer a unique and luxurious experience for women recovering from childbirth.

00:25:24.780 Sajuan provide a wide range of services to new mothers, including 24-7 infant care.

00:25:29.860 Trained nurses look after newborns in separate nurseries, allowing the mothers to rest.

00:25:34.400 Specialized meals, nutritious meals, including traditional seaweed soup, are served to aid recovery.

00:25:39.140 Massage therapy, various massages, including lactation massages, are offered to help mothers relax and recover.

00:25:45.920 That'd be kind of weird, having another person massaging your breasts.

00:25:49.940 Would you trust them?

00:25:50.600 Trust me, you haven't had mastitis, or what is it called, mastitis?

00:25:55.800 Just basically, like, if one of your ducts gets clogged once your milk has come in when you're breastfeeding, the pain is intense.

00:26:03.320 So you'd appreciate other women giving you breasts?

00:26:06.880 Dude, yeah.

00:26:08.220 Because, like, you have to kind of learn how to unclog them and, like, how to have to manipulate the breast in the right way to, like, unclog it.

00:26:18.580 And someone who knows what they're doing could have fixed that a lot faster for me before I figured it out.

00:26:24.460 And this is mostly for first- or second-time mothers.

00:26:27.240 There is value to this.

00:26:28.520 Where I think this is appropriate, where I don't.

00:26:30.360 Well, keep going.

00:26:31.760 They do breastfeeding support.

00:26:33.160 They do exercise programs, like Pilates classes.

00:26:35.500 They have mental health counseling services.

00:26:37.780 And they have educational programs.

00:26:40.000 The cost and duration can vary significantly.

00:26:42.940 Currently, a two-week stay at an average cost one is around $2,300.

00:26:48.220 And for premium options, you're looking at around $28,500 for a two-week stay.

00:26:54.820 Oh, okay.

00:26:55.680 That's pricey.

00:26:56.860 And I wouldn't want to go to a cheap one.

00:26:58.980 Around 80% of new mothers use these facilities.

00:27:02.500 And they are not traditional to Korea.

00:27:04.960 It used to be that you would stay with, like, family members and they'd help you.

00:27:08.080 Yeah.

00:27:08.680 But, you know, this...

00:27:10.240 I think in China, there's more of a tradition of having a, basically, a post-birth doula

00:27:14.620 who sort of comes and they tell you what you're supposed to eat.

00:27:17.660 And they have a lot of sort of traditional remedies they'll do.

00:27:20.680 And they would probably do the same kind of, you know, massage.

00:27:22.920 And they'd help you with breastfeeding and things.

00:27:24.340 But it's someone who comes to your house.

00:27:26.120 Which, to me, it seems a lot more sustainable, much lower cost.

00:27:29.560 I also...

00:27:30.160 You know how I am, though.

00:27:31.220 I ask you to drop me off at the hospital and not basically talk to me or see me.

00:27:35.420 Wait, she asked me to not stay at the hospital and do something else all day.

00:27:38.020 I think that there's really...

00:27:39.560 There's something about just having space to yourself postpartum just because of the

00:27:44.240 hormonal shit you're going through.

00:27:45.900 It's like having...

00:27:46.860 It could be like having a bad trip.

00:27:48.340 It could be like having a good trip.

00:27:49.580 But doing it in sort of an isolated place that is low stimulation and very supportive

00:27:56.600 is a good thing to do, whether you're on psychedelics or having a kid.

00:28:02.100 The first time you had a kid, I was like, I wish these existed in the U.S.

00:28:06.520 I would totally love to send you to one.

00:28:08.280 Because I wanted to send you to like a spa or something afterwards, but then I'm away

00:28:10.900 from the newborn.

00:28:11.760 I don't want to do that.

00:28:12.640 Yeah.

00:28:13.000 Having had a number of kids, I know like I'm really worried about anything that makes

00:28:17.920 having kids not a routine.

00:28:20.380 That over...

00:28:21.780 There's nothing about this that would inherently make it not a routine, aside from the cost.

00:28:25.240 The cost is really high.

00:28:26.660 Well, I mean, the average cost really isn't that bad.

00:28:29.260 I would happily pay like $1,500.

00:28:31.160 Then why do you think it's not sustainable?

00:28:32.840 I mean, I think ultimately women will want it less and less because they just don't need

00:28:38.200 it as much.

00:28:38.780 I think this is great for making it smoother for first time mothers.

00:28:42.180 Well, here's the reality of the situation.

00:28:44.100 I think the truce is, is that if you went to these after like two times going, you probably

00:28:50.840 wouldn't want to go anymore because you would feel more comfortable at home.

00:28:54.800 And I think that...

00:28:56.220 Well, it varies.

00:28:57.020 It varies.

00:28:57.560 And this is something that the women...

00:28:59.420 Because, you know, it's not really similar, but in U.S. hospitals, when you have a C-section,

00:29:06.360 they typically expect you to stay a minimum of three nights, but sometimes quite a few

00:29:10.800 more nights.

00:29:11.700 Well, and yeah, no, I come down after two last time.

00:29:14.560 And the nurses were saying, oh yeah, like with mothers who have more than two kids, either

00:29:19.460 they want out right away and they are just immediately out if they just had a natural birth or they

00:29:24.460 are, you know, minimum, minimum, minimum time if they had a C-section or they're like, keep

00:29:29.580 me in here as long as possible.

00:29:30.840 I want my little break.

00:29:32.120 Like they treat it as their hotel stay, their home time.

00:29:35.020 The point I was making is the problem that these are fundamentally solving for Korean

00:29:41.860 women, what, you know, if you're getting patented to a reasonable number of kids, like

00:29:45.100 four or six or something like that, which like no Korean has, is, I can't, like my boss

00:29:50.700 in the country was like super wealthy.

00:29:53.060 They had two kids, right?

00:29:54.000 Like, um...

00:29:55.080 Yeah, I think it's two.

00:29:56.120 Yeah.

00:29:56.860 Some of the wealthiest people in Korea had two kids.

00:29:58.940 I was like, why?

00:30:00.500 Why not more kids?

00:30:01.620 Well, I think it's super not normative.

00:30:03.600 Like, I just, I think it's inconceivable.

00:30:06.360 He also worked with his spouse.

00:30:08.000 They had a spectacular relationship.

00:30:09.740 I loved his wife.

00:30:10.800 I loved him.

00:30:11.540 They managed their companies together like Simone and I do.

00:30:14.460 I think they had an iteration of Korean culture that could work, but they just didn't.

00:30:18.680 But anyway, the point I was making here is that for you, home is to an extent, and you

00:30:26.760 constantly tell me this, like your most luxurious, safe, and pampered space.

00:30:32.320 Well, and that's, and keep in mind, most mothers who have a lot of kids are also giving birth

00:30:37.060 at home, and it's their preference, because it is just so much more comfortable than a

00:30:41.040 hospital.

00:30:41.980 So that is, that's normal.

00:30:43.520 It is your safe space.

00:30:45.440 Yeah.

00:30:45.560 I feel like for these women, home is not a safe space.

00:30:49.880 It is a place of work in demand.

00:30:52.520 And the women who are like, I want a break, like, you wouldn't ask for that because there

00:30:57.960 isn't something you want a break from.

00:30:59.740 You knew if you needed me to do more, you'd just ask me to do more.

00:31:04.140 And I wouldn't like treat it as like cashing in chips or something.

00:31:07.760 I'd be like, you just had a kid, of course.

00:31:09.560 Like, you do so much for me whenever you want to ask for more.

00:31:12.220 You always give more.

00:31:13.420 And I don't think that in Korea, women would expect that as much.

00:31:18.040 Yeah.

00:31:18.200 I don't think there is a cultural expectation that if I ask for help from my husband, I'm

00:31:24.060 going to get it for sure.

00:31:26.660 No, there is a cultural expectation.

00:31:28.220 You said you don't think that there is.

00:31:29.640 No, I don't.

00:31:30.640 I don't.

00:31:31.500 I don't think if a lot of Korean women.

00:31:34.680 In Korea, you mean.

00:31:35.480 Yeah.

00:31:35.700 I mean, in Korea, they think like, hey, if I ask my husband to like handle all of the

00:31:41.460 whatever for this period of time that he probably like the expectation is he wouldn't do it.

00:31:46.500 I don't think that's the reality.

00:31:47.500 I think that there's a lot of young Korean men who'd be happy to step up and handle all

00:31:51.780 the infant care and give their wives a break.

00:31:53.560 But there's not that cultural understanding.

00:31:57.080 And that certainly isn't the cultural norm historically.

00:32:00.720 Yeah.

00:32:00.980 And I think that the Koreans are much less likely than other groups I've seen to compromise

00:32:06.040 on cultural understandings.

00:32:08.620 And here, I'd love to be told the story before I get into this about this one year birthday

00:32:13.560 in this couple.

00:32:15.400 Oh, gosh.

00:32:16.320 Yeah.

00:32:16.440 I need to find the YouTuber's name.

00:32:17.700 She was described.

00:32:18.520 I didn't know this was a thing.

00:32:19.500 So you and I already knew about weird Korean weddings, South Korean weddings, where you

00:32:24.040 go to like a-

00:32:24.760 They're called do or do shi chi, the thing that you're describing.

00:32:26.840 Yeah.

00:32:27.440 There are like literal wedding complexes where you go to them for your wedding.

00:32:32.580 They specialize in executing on weddings.

00:32:35.000 They have packages set up and everything.

00:32:37.940 I didn't know that there were also facilities for first birthdays.

00:32:41.560 And that's what I learned from her, that it is expected that your first birthday party

00:32:45.820 for your kid is not at your house or in your backyard if you have one or in some park.

00:32:50.400 It is at one of these first birthday facilities.

00:32:53.980 And the YouTuber in question, who I don't think grew up in South Korea, but married a

00:32:57.560 South Korean husband, would have been happy to have her family come out and just celebrate

00:33:01.480 the first birthday in the house.

00:33:02.600 But her husband insisted on having the sort of traditional culturally understood first

00:33:07.440 birthday because it would otherwise be shameful to not do it.

00:33:10.960 So she picked out a place that was approximately $3,000 US dollars, which is insane.

00:33:17.380 Yeah.

00:33:18.240 And he was like, no, this, it would be humiliating for us to have the birthday here because everyone

00:33:24.900 would know how cheap it is.

00:33:26.560 But he wanted to do one that was at like a $16,000 place.

00:33:31.000 And I just cannot imagine.

00:33:34.160 I mean, and this is a first birthday and this must be indicative of-

00:33:38.300 How do you have eight kids and you're doing this?

00:33:40.220 Like, you don't, you don't, you just don't.

00:33:42.520 So this is the tip of an iceberg in South Korean culture of just insanely unsustainable

00:33:49.060 parenting.

00:33:50.000 But I also think this, this, there's no way that this has been normative or expected for

00:33:56.820 a long period of time because there just hasn't like, and there hasn't been the infrastructure

00:34:01.320 to support this industry for that long.

00:34:03.180 This has to be a new cultural expectation.

00:34:06.160 And I do think that we are on track to that world in the United States with how parents

00:34:12.460 are out in serving.

00:34:13.180 Other parents expect me to be treating my kids the way that that video about the little

00:34:17.980 girl throwing a tantrum at the store and throwing all the stuff on the ground.

00:34:22.300 And when people tried to stop her, they were like, if you stop her, we'll call the police

00:34:25.700 on you.

00:34:26.620 If you, if you try to stop her, they're like, you don't know what she's going through.

00:34:29.540 Don't report her.

00:34:58.960 It was like, okay, this is clearly not healthy to let her play out this, but, but there no

00:35:14.120 matter what, when people hear about me doing shit in public and they're like, oh, he must

00:35:17.740 be like being harsher on the kids or the kids must be, you know, not actually being that

00:35:21.860 bad.

00:35:22.140 And he's overreacting.

00:35:23.060 I think you can see from this video.

00:35:24.240 That's not true that it is actually that like the world's gone insane, at least in

00:35:30.040 the U S about kids should never experience any punishment at all, any restraint on their

00:35:35.560 actions.

00:35:36.120 And at least in Korea, they haven't gone.

00:35:37.940 Like, it's interesting the way the two different countries indulge in their, in their child rearing

00:35:43.080 craziness.

00:35:43.680 But the way we have in the U S has gotten really bad as well.

00:35:46.980 But I mean, our birth rate is also going down just less than the reason region will act

00:35:51.200 like this and unchecked it will get worse.

00:35:54.740 Yeah.

00:35:55.480 So I want to get into the specifics of these parties because I found it really interesting

00:35:58.740 and the kids in them are so cute.

00:36:00.640 Have you looked up any pictures of these?

00:36:02.620 No.

00:36:03.500 Okay.

00:36:04.080 So first birthday parties in Korea known as dollar chi or doll have become increasingly

00:36:09.460 luxurious events with many families opting for high end venues and services.

00:36:13.060 The expenses and luxuries associated with these celebrations vary widely from online gatherings

00:36:16.820 to traveling and affairs.

00:36:17.820 This Vista walk-ills super spa suite package starts at around $1,140 on weekdays.

00:36:26.820 So this is on weekdays.

00:36:29.260 How embarrassed.

00:36:30.080 Oh my God.

00:36:32.680 They're huge.

00:36:34.380 They're just dressed up like a little like Buddha or something.

00:36:38.420 And you have surrounded by like money and other like ritualistic.

00:36:41.420 Now I realize I've seen a bunch of videos of these on Instagram and I didn't know that

00:36:49.040 they were this.

00:36:50.720 Oh my gosh.

00:36:51.940 But no, honestly though, this should not cost that much money.

00:36:55.000 Yeah.

00:36:55.200 So they, they, what happens at them is.

00:36:59.140 What?

00:37:00.840 I mean, it's kind of a great, you know, I think there's this one type of woman who at

00:37:07.060 first, their life is planning for prom, you know, and then after that, it's planning for

00:37:12.000 a wedding.

00:37:12.460 And after that, it's planning for a baby shower.

00:37:15.400 And after that, you need something.

00:37:17.260 And then you get that.

00:37:18.760 I kind of understand.

00:37:20.200 So the, the preparation and decor, the baby is dressed in a traditional Korean clothing

00:37:25.520 called a habak.

00:37:27.460 A special table called a dulcet is prepared with various symbolic items and foods.

00:37:32.260 The venue is decorated often with themed elements and traditional Korean motifs.

00:37:36.360 The dulcet was at the table.

00:37:37.900 It's fruits piled high to represent prosperity.

00:37:40.520 Various types of teok rice cakes symbolizing purity and harmony.

00:37:44.960 Five colorful silk pouches representing vibrant life.

00:37:48.100 Traditional foods like seaweed soup.

00:37:51.060 The celebration, several symbolic items are placed in front of the baby.

00:37:55.600 The child is encouraged to choose one or two items.

00:37:59.480 The chosen items are believed to predict the child's future career or traits.

00:38:04.200 I love this.

00:38:06.800 This is great.

00:38:07.800 The items in front of the kids are a pencil or brush, which means scholar money, which

00:38:13.020 means wealth, a thread, which means long life and a book.

00:38:18.100 Which means wisdom.

00:38:20.480 Oh my gosh.

00:38:21.520 You can buy this set on Amazon.

00:38:24.300 Oh my gosh.

00:38:24.980 This is so cute.

00:38:26.180 Okay.

00:38:26.420 So you can buy this on Amazon and they have a little stethoscope, a soccer ball, a bunch

00:38:31.980 of little, oh, this.

00:38:33.380 I think that's a fun idea.

00:38:34.820 But on Amazon, this costs $39.98.

00:38:38.840 Can we do this for our one-year-olds?

00:38:40.820 I want to do this for one of your birthdays.

00:38:42.640 Our kids would love this.

00:38:43.760 I'm here for it.

00:38:44.640 No, I think I was just thinking, like, I want a modified version of this, like a rocket

00:38:48.440 ship.

00:38:50.340 No, still.

00:38:50.960 Yeah.

00:38:51.140 We got a genetic, like, helix.

00:38:52.320 We got a genetic version of this, like a rocket ship, a Bible.

00:38:56.280 A genetic helix.

00:38:57.360 What else?

00:38:57.840 I really just want them to go into repertoire.

00:38:59.060 Oh, maybe some kind of survivalism thing.

00:39:01.620 Oh, yeah.

00:39:01.940 Those were a survivalist.

00:39:02.980 They've been a gun.

00:39:04.060 I could put a gun on the table next to the base.

00:39:06.040 Everyone will be freaking out.

00:39:07.280 I love it.

00:39:08.380 I love it.

00:39:08.900 Oh, no, but see, this is something you can do all of these things so affordably, so I

00:39:13.900 don't understand how, like, the cheap version of this would cost $3,000 when I can't.

00:39:18.220 Remember what the guy said.

00:39:20.000 They'll know how much this facility costs.

00:39:22.580 Right.

00:39:22.760 They just need to know that you spent the money.

00:39:24.600 It doesn't matter that the money gets you anything.

00:39:26.780 It matters that you spend it.

00:39:27.960 It's the status hierarchy that they are obsessed with.

00:39:30.680 Yeah, actually, you know, the context in which I heard about this tradition, the YouTuber

00:39:35.480 presented this under the hook of there being this dating show in South Korea, and this one,

00:39:40.340 like, star character within it is kind of like The Bachelor, and there was this one girl

00:39:44.620 in this reality TV show who wore all these designer clothes and was beloved, but then

00:39:48.640 it came out that they were all fakes, and she just got hard canceled because this concept

00:39:52.980 that she hadn't actually spent the money was so insulting, and then that's where she brought

00:39:57.720 up this whole first birthday thing.

00:39:58.960 So I think you're right.

00:39:59.560 I think it's that you have to, like, you have to actually have spent the money.

00:40:02.900 It can't be affordable.

00:40:04.300 It can't be a fake.

00:40:05.620 It can't be a knockoff.

00:40:06.620 You have to actually have, like, lost all your money and gone into debt and have no savings.

00:40:12.060 It's not about money.

00:40:14.140 It's about sending a message.

00:40:17.580 Oh, my goodness.

00:40:21.980 I want to make a techno-puritan version of the first birthday, though, with Andre.

00:40:25.640 I love it.

00:40:26.680 We will work on it, and we will give it to you, the audience.

00:40:29.560 When we put it together, because it's going to be so effing cute.

00:40:32.860 Definitely a rocket ship and a double helix, but I just, and a gun, but I don't know.

00:40:36.220 Well, these things, steal things from other traditions, but it makes me better.

00:40:40.760 Exactly.

00:40:41.320 Like, we don't hate South Korean culture.

00:40:43.540 We hate the toxic elements of it that don't work in modernity.

00:40:46.580 There's a lot of really cool stuff here.

00:40:48.040 And then I will say that, like, and Simone, I know that you don't understand how worthless

00:40:53.760 we are as parents because you think of yourself as so loving, and you can be ruthless and loving.

00:40:57.980 You can be a tiger parent and love your kids.

00:41:00.040 You're doing the harder thing for them.

00:41:01.820 But when it comes to things like birthdays, consider how we decided, because we talked

00:41:07.140 about this internally.

00:41:07.880 When they're younger, I get them, like, one moderately priced toy of their choice.

00:41:13.080 And when they are older, they get, because I went to a birthday party recently for, like,

00:41:17.720 somebody else Octavian's age, and I was like, this is stupid.

00:41:20.240 What?

00:41:20.560 I don't even know.

00:41:21.100 Well, they're not having fun.

00:41:22.580 Like, the important thing is we've gone to other kids' birthday parties, and they're

00:41:26.100 either clueless or not having fun.

00:41:28.720 And what's the point?

00:41:30.040 Like, I actually want our kids to have a lot of fun on their birthday.

00:41:32.220 Hence, we do their favorite activities.

00:41:33.400 So for Torsten's birthday, we went to a store, he got to pick out whatever he wanted, and

00:41:37.500 then we went through rocks in the creek, because that's his favorite thing at the time, right?

00:41:41.120 And that was, that's appropriate that he had so much more fun that he would have had, had

00:41:44.880 we thrown a birthday party, he would have been stressed out, overstimulated, crying the

00:41:49.020 whole time, which is what kids do, especially when they're young.

00:41:52.380 Yeah, so, but when they get older, people are like, well, what about their friends?

00:41:57.040 This will cost them social points.

00:41:58.400 And we're like, we are okay with our kids organizing their own birthday parties.

00:42:03.400 Yeah.

00:42:04.060 We'll even give them a budget to do it, but we will not plan it, we will not put in

00:42:07.900 the effort, because kids need to learn that, like, people, no one in the world is going

00:42:12.840 to go out of their way to make you feel special unless you earn it.

00:42:15.300 And it's more important to learn to be strong and deal with criticism and rejection than

00:42:21.600 to fit in.

00:42:22.640 I do not care what the middle schoolers who my kid is around think of my kid, okay?

00:42:29.020 I care that my kid has the spiritual and moral fortitude to not give up what his classmates

00:42:37.280 think about him.

00:42:38.300 That's what I'm trying to nurture.

00:42:40.660 And our kids also need to know that literally the secret to being popular is to be the one

00:42:47.260 who organizes cool stuff and gets people together and does the work.

00:42:51.480 For you and for me, to a large extent, who we are as adults is shaped culturally by us

00:43:01.040 being trained as kids to not care what other people, like, what the normie thought of us,

00:43:07.780 to only care what the people we respected thought of us.

00:43:10.680 And that that respect had to be earned.

00:43:14.300 And this has led us to, when we're sharing, you know, ideas on the internet or in culture

00:43:20.460 or anything like that, share ideas that are very counter-cultural to the mainstream cultural

00:43:25.220 groups.

00:43:26.080 And my family has done this, obviously, if you look at my family history, for generations.

00:43:30.800 I want to say I haven't mentioned recently on the podcast is, if you're familiar with

00:43:34.120 the Free Standard Jones, 15 out of the 50 founding members were either of siblings or children

00:43:40.220 of siblings of my direct ancestors.

00:43:42.780 Like, my family's been doing this for a long time.

00:43:45.440 The generation after that were really famous anarchists.

00:43:48.480 This was during the period where anarchists and socialists, and this is when that meant

00:43:53.100 a good thing.

00:43:53.740 Like, this is back when you had the monopolies and everything like that, and they were fighting

00:43:58.120 against, you know, standard oil and stuff.

00:44:01.340 Here are some quotes about them from Lone Star Unionism, Dissent and Resistance.

00:44:06.020 Over time, Warren Collins has become the quintessential backwoodsman who just wanted to be,

00:44:10.560 quote unquote, left alone.

00:44:11.940 Ever the trickster and backwoods brawler, he is presented as clever and ever ready to fight.

00:44:16.520 Rather than take orders from anyone.

00:44:19.580 But shorn of his anti-slavery beliefs, he appears simply suspicious of all government.

00:44:24.660 Reacting against authority, usually with fists, without clear thought.

00:44:28.820 With T.A. Hicksley, the editor of the number one socialist newspaper in Texas at the time,

00:44:34.080 The Rebel, writing that he hoped the Collins clan would increase and multiply until they

00:44:41.020 cover the earth with the clean, clear water of socialism.

00:44:44.500 And it's funny here that now, and since then, we have been known as extreme capitalists,

00:44:49.680 but I think this shows him just misunderstanding what the Collins family stood for, which was

00:44:55.820 fighting against the system, whatever the largest bureaucracy was.

00:44:59.440 So, of course, a man like Warren Collins, who just hated taking orders from anyone, that

00:45:03.520 means the wealthy people in his area who back in that time thought they owned people, but

00:45:08.240 he wouldn't have been pro-socialism in the sense that the government owns everything.

00:45:12.780 I go into this because I think understanding that we come from actually different cultural

00:45:16.900 contexts.

00:45:17.580 Today, in society, people act like we're all basically the same, whether you're Japanese

00:45:23.700 or Korean or descended from Texas Jayhawkers.

00:45:28.580 You're all going to be exactly the same.

00:45:30.760 But that's just not true.

00:45:31.900 I'm not that different in my beliefs from my ancestors.

00:45:35.400 And I think many Koreans today aren't that different in their belief systems and culture

00:45:38.560 than their ancestors.

00:45:39.500 And the urban monoculture needs us to deny that.

00:45:42.840 But by laying out something written about somebody in my family a hundred years ago, you can get

00:45:48.060 an idea of the degree of cultural continuity that exists even within the American tribes.

00:45:55.320 You know, so they've always had the ideas that were the most countercultural speaking, the

00:46:02.220 most fighting for the people being constantly stepped on by society.

00:46:06.140 And that is something that has been transmitted culturally intergenerational.

00:46:11.820 But I think that it has turned out to be very good in this modern era of people not being able to

00:46:16.720 motivate high fertility because it's made me realize I am different from them.

00:46:20.780 I am different from this mainstream cultural group.

00:46:22.760 And I will take pride in this difference.

00:46:25.580 And that's allowed me.

00:46:26.740 And I think that that's also why Jews have been really protected from fertility class.

00:46:30.820 If they're taught you are different from the mainstream cultural group, take pride in that difference.

00:46:33.700 Sog, before I go to any other ideas here.

00:46:38.180 No, proceed.

00:46:39.420 Entertainment.

00:46:40.560 I mean, the final thing I really want to dwell on is this grid I came up with for the parenting

00:46:46.360 investment grid.

00:46:48.800 Our parenting style grid.

00:46:50.480 Roostless to permissive and high touch to low touch.

00:46:55.680 Why is it that I think that the high touch and ruthless style has the lowest outcomes in terms

00:47:03.660 of fertility rates?

00:47:05.660 I think it's because of two core reasons.

00:47:09.580 Psychologically, if you're like, I'm punishing my kid, I'm giving them a harder life, but it's

00:47:12.840 so that they have a better future.

00:47:14.280 It's easier to make other sacrifices like the lives of your unborn children.

00:47:18.260 Like, I won't have these other kids.

00:47:19.920 So that this kid can thrive.

00:47:23.200 Right?

00:47:23.820 Like, that makes sense from that mindset.

00:47:27.360 When you consider what's motivating the ruthlessness in us, it's this almost sort of evolutionary

00:47:32.140 Darwinian mindset.

00:47:34.200 I'm ruthless to my kids because I force them to compete against other strong individuals

00:47:38.500 and strong cultures, and that makes them stronger.

00:47:40.960 Of course, that's going to do the exact opposite.

00:47:43.540 That's going to say, oh, you should have more kids.

00:47:46.060 So there's more competition for your existing kids.

00:47:48.100 But then there is the secondary part of it, which is that it's really hard.

00:47:53.000 It's really hard to punish your kid.

00:47:55.860 Like, people always act like when I get mad or I discipline my kids, like I've lost control.

00:47:59.980 It's like, no, that's why I'm in the most control, because I always want to be not disciplining

00:48:03.960 my kid.

00:48:04.840 Nobody wants to be disciplining their kid.

00:48:06.860 I discipline my kid for my kid's sake.

00:48:10.560 And they're like, oh, you know, spare the Ron, spoil the child.

00:48:13.780 Not that I think that Ron's a good way to do this, but you are spoiling your child.

00:48:18.840 You are creating an environment where their brains can rot by not doing this.

00:48:24.260 And I think that Asian parents understand this.

00:48:27.180 If you look at the woman who wrote Tiger Parenting, you know, her kids got into Yale.

00:48:31.720 They live really great lives.

00:48:33.060 They're really happy.

00:48:33.780 But they have been co-opted by the urban monoculture.

00:48:36.900 They're like, I'm not going to repeat her parenting style, which is to say her parenting

00:48:40.720 style produced the intended results, but didn't transfer culture intergenerational.

00:48:47.540 And I think that Ron style parenting does a very bad job of doing that.

00:48:53.220 Roostless style parenting.

00:48:55.000 I actually know very few people who grew up in roostless, low touch parenting households

00:49:00.340 that don't want to continue the culture because they typically have a very, very, very high

00:49:05.340 amount of cultural drive.

00:49:08.540 Yeah.

00:49:09.220 I, I, yeah.

00:49:10.540 When it's sustainable, that's the other thing is you haven't mentioned just how both unpleasant

00:49:18.860 and stressful it is to be both ruthless and really high touch.

00:49:22.500 Like no one wants to do that.

00:49:24.740 It's like being a prison guard.

00:49:27.000 No one wants to be a prison guard.

00:49:28.700 I, I have mentioned before that my family, as other cultural traditions, we would go and

00:49:35.340 we would have these competitions where we would not exactly stated competitions, but it was

00:49:40.760 every time, like my grandmother, the matriarch of the family would have a birthday while all

00:49:44.680 of the grandkids would go out and we'd have to like speak a memorized poem or like do our

00:49:51.440 tell, like play a song or do a scene or something like that to show how talented we were.

00:49:57.880 And one side of my family married into a Catholic family and Catholics are much higher touch than

00:50:05.880 my family was traditionally speaking because my family, very bad culture.

00:50:09.680 And the, the, the Catholic family that they married into would be much more high touch plus

00:50:14.160 ruthlessness in terms of the way that they raised their kids.

00:50:16.800 Whereas we were low touching ruthlessness.

00:50:19.480 This is a traditional mixing of the back Irish and Scottish culture.

00:50:22.820 I don't know if all Catholic families are that way.

00:50:24.500 And it was always almost like kind of a joke because the other kids would always like smoke

00:50:29.320 us because their parents had clearly sent them to all of the best voice lessons.

00:50:35.300 And then they would act in commercials as kids.

00:50:37.900 And they would, you know, they were like, she will like film grade actors and stuff like

00:50:43.220 that doing their big scenes.

00:50:45.280 And I was supposed to have picked up similar skills by competing in like an inter-kid cultural

00:50:51.860 ecosystem and, and being like beforehand.

00:50:54.920 Like my mom was like, Hey, learn this, like find a poem and memorize it and make it good.

00:51:01.360 Uh, I'd be like, but like, why?

00:51:03.780 And she goes, if you don't know, no one will love you, you little shit.

00:51:06.300 And I was like, okay, I'll do it.

00:51:08.760 But it led to much lower results in terms of like these, these family meetings.

00:51:15.620 Like we would always really underperform the other family members as to which style worked

00:51:20.780 better in the longterm.

00:51:22.280 Interesting.

00:51:23.360 So me and my brother who were raised in this style, we have both been extremely moderately

00:51:29.560 successful.

00:51:30.340 The kids raised in the other style were either extremely unsuccessful or extremely successful.

00:51:35.680 There was like a bifurcation, like higher success in my faith, but they also have always been

00:51:40.880 afraid to put themselves out there with like controversial ideas or anything like that.

00:51:45.860 And I think it's, it leads to more of a fear.

00:51:49.080 Like we also see with Asian families, uh, doing something that could lead to social rejection

00:51:54.700 because you had this sort of pressure on you as a kid to fit a normative mold because being

00:52:02.600 perfect was being part of what your parents wanted you to be.

00:52:05.280 Like that's what it meant to be a good child.

00:52:06.680 Be the child your parents wanted you to be.

00:52:08.680 So you strove to be that.

00:52:10.480 Whereas for me, being a good child was to have the skills that allowed me to compete.

00:52:16.820 Like I remember my mom, she would give me like advice all the time.

00:52:21.800 She tried to like look up what the kids were doing that was like popular and hip.

00:52:25.720 And you remember this, even when we knew her, she'd give us like things.

00:52:28.220 She'd be like, this is what's hip now guys.

00:52:29.960 I've read it.

00:52:30.520 This is what the rich people are doing now.

00:52:31.760 You need to act like this.

00:52:33.360 And she always give me this, this advice as a kid.

00:52:36.340 But in terms of like, whether I was doing a good job in her eyes, it had nothing to do

00:52:43.000 with her perception of me.

00:52:44.440 She'd be like, well, are you popular at school?

00:52:46.780 Like I was like, you know, like basically am I doing a good job?

00:52:49.020 And she's like, well, do other people respect you?

00:52:50.900 Or am I doing a good job dating?

00:52:52.740 Show me your girlfriend.

00:52:53.720 Is she hot?

00:52:54.620 Am I, you know, there was, and it was like, is she hot and cool?

00:52:58.480 That's what she cared about.

00:52:59.500 Not like, do I, it wasn't like my mom bedded my girlfriends for like their moral character.

00:53:05.880 I was like, that's just she hot.

00:53:08.240 Yeah, that sounds about right.

00:53:09.800 But you remember this, right?

00:53:10.960 So I'm like, when she was like, and where my girlfriends failed in competing in mainstream

00:53:16.080 environments, she'd help.

00:53:17.580 Like with you, she'd be like, okay, this is how you do makeup.

00:53:20.520 Okay.

00:53:20.700 Clearly you sweet summer child.

00:53:22.200 You don't know how to do anything.

00:53:23.080 But yeah, clothing, makeup, etiquette, a lot of things, a lot of things.

00:53:30.660 It was great.

00:53:31.340 I actually, I really appreciated it.

00:53:33.280 It was, it was huge for me because I, my mom was absolutely the best and I love her so

00:53:39.080 much.

00:53:39.300 And she gave me a perfect childhood, but she was not into girly things.

00:53:42.620 She was not herself comfortable with femininity and makeup and styling.

00:53:48.920 And so, of course, she was never willing to teach those things to me.

00:53:54.440 And your mom was so like, not just into them, but skilled and informed at a level where even

00:54:03.360 in her elite real housewife social set, she was the one that everyone turned to for advice.

00:54:09.440 I mean, that was amazing.

00:54:10.300 And I think that's a great amenity for a mother-in-law to provide, culturally speaking.

00:54:15.160 Yeah, well, I think another final example I'll leave on, I've mentioned this in other

00:54:19.100 episodes, but it's really germane to this episode, which is like the way that the low

00:54:24.240 touch of a ruthless versus high touch ruthless approach school for kids.

00:54:29.000 High touch ruthless are like, you need to be the best you can in school.

00:54:35.360 Right.

00:54:35.680 High touch ruthless, as I said, like with my mom, I told her one day, well, the teacher's

00:54:39.660 really disappointed me for like X thing.

00:54:41.680 And she goes, well, I mean, do you believe what you did was wrong?

00:54:44.880 And I was like, no.

00:54:46.180 And she goes, well, let me tell you a little secret.

00:54:48.820 In the adult world, teachers are minimal paid workers.

00:54:52.520 Nobody respects them.

00:54:53.940 They're basically losers.

00:54:55.600 And if you listen to them, you're going to grow up to be a loser.

00:54:58.660 And she goes, always follow your own morals, not the teachers.

00:55:02.700 And you'll be able to be successful in ways that they work.

00:55:05.680 She's like, look, they're not financially successful.

00:55:07.360 They're not successful in terms of prestige.

00:55:09.160 Why would you follow them?

00:55:10.520 And that developed a very adversarial relationship with teachers for me.

00:55:14.380 Like, you know, for example, like I got a teacher was like, oh, he broke up.

00:55:21.720 He snitched on this other kid, basically, is what the teacher said.

00:55:24.800 And isn't that great?

00:55:25.980 And my mom was like, why did you do that afterwards?

00:55:28.940 Like, I was like, well, he's picking on another kid.

00:55:31.160 And she goes, that's what your fists are for.

00:55:32.440 And I'm like, well, I would have been punished.

00:55:33.880 And she goes, so what?

00:55:35.760 That's what a moral child would do.

00:55:37.620 So no Asian is ever going to, like, within this context, right, is ever going to tell

00:55:42.180 their kid, hey, you see a weak kid being picked on unjustly, you go up and you sock the kid.

00:55:48.440 I don't care if you spend the week in detention.

00:55:51.120 And you definitely don't go whine to the authority.

00:55:55.200 And I hope you can see why this leads to more intergenerational cultural transmission and

00:56:00.860 more kids are you going to have more pride in who you are if you're the type of person

00:56:06.520 who stands up to authority and says, no, I'm going to do what's right.

00:56:09.580 I'm going to like my culture is better than yours.

00:56:11.980 Well, more importantly, you need to have a culture of people with an internal locus of

00:56:16.460 control.

00:56:16.800 And that's what that taught, because if ever something goes wrong with this system or an

00:56:22.640 organization, people who are incapable of solving problems and cleaning up messes by themselves

00:56:28.840 will flounder.

00:56:30.860 And it is inevitable that every so many generations or decades, there will be system failures.

00:56:39.680 And in those instances, anyone who cannot handle problems themselves during those periods will

00:56:47.020 absolutely flounder.

00:56:49.580 So I think that's the bigger issue is we need to create cultures where you have a strong internal

00:56:58.720 locus of control and you are told that if you see a mess, it's your responsibility to clean

00:57:04.260 it up.

00:57:04.640 If you have a problem, it's your responsibility to solve it.

00:57:07.820 And you can present that in a way that is more or less polite toward figures of authority.

00:57:17.820 I mean, obviously, your mother chose an approach that was more dismissive of their

00:57:21.700 value in society.

00:57:24.900 You could take an approach that that is a little bit more diplomatic, but that still puts all

00:57:30.520 the responsibility on kids to solve the problem themselves.

00:57:33.620 But it is important that they know that the responsibility is ultimately theirs.

00:57:37.580 I don't think that that's what's leading to this.

00:57:42.840 I think it's very hard to have individual pride in your culture if your culture is communalist

00:57:49.500 and conformist.

00:57:50.900 Because definition...

00:57:52.580 Can any part of that imply that communalism or conformism is...

00:57:57.120 But I'm saying that this is the specific problem.

00:57:59.880 The specific problem is that you cannot say we are better than other people because of

00:58:06.340 how we are different and resist their cultural traditions.

00:58:10.040 When your culture, especially if you're in a country like Korea or Japan or China, and you

00:58:16.380 are defining your cultural traditions as what is normative within that culture, you can't define

00:58:22.620 your family as different from other Koreans unless you're in like a religious cult or something like

00:58:28.820 where the fertility rates are actually pretty decent.

00:58:30.920 Because you definitionally, your family status is based on your ability to fit these normative

00:58:38.820 value systems.

00:58:40.160 So you cannot have pride in how you are different from the normative value systems.

00:58:46.100 And until you break that, until you say, no, we are Korean in a way that they aren't Korean,

00:58:51.020 maybe in a way that's more historically accurate, or maybe in a way adapting to new cultural

00:58:55.020 norms, or maybe in this way that there's all sorts of ways you can spin this.

00:58:58.700 But until you can say that we are different from them and that's what makes us better than

00:59:03.020 them, it's going to be very hard to transmit those values into a generation.

00:59:07.740 And I was using the school example here, the snitches get stitches example here, because

00:59:13.340 it's very easy to see why somebody would have a cultural superiority complex and think that

00:59:19.000 they need to pass their culture on, even when they're in a culture that is like, even if

00:59:24.120 I lived still in Texas, like rural Texas, right, I would still view my family as better than

00:59:29.540 other rural Texas families.

00:59:31.140 They may all have this mindset of like, oh, well, all of us need to dismiss the teachers,

00:59:35.500 all of us need to dismiss the authorities, but we don't have our own flavor of dismissal.

00:59:39.340 Right, but like, we're still better than the Joneses.

00:59:43.480 So yeah, it's, we're better than the Joneses versus keeping up with the Joneses, in other words.

00:59:48.320 Yeah, we're, we're better.

00:59:49.540 Why don't you keep up with the Joneses?

00:59:50.880 The Joneses are idiots.

00:59:52.000 They're losers.

00:59:52.920 Yeah.

00:59:54.240 We have losers.

00:59:55.840 We have losers.

00:59:56.980 They're losers.

00:59:57.840 They're just losers.

00:59:58.600 We have very stupid people.

01:00:00.160 We have stupid leadership.

01:00:02.280 How stupid are our leaders?

01:00:05.680 How stupid are these politicians to allow this to happen?

01:00:10.760 How stupid are they?

01:00:13.960 And we'll see something that the Joneses have done.

01:00:16.580 And we're like, I'm like the Koreans.

01:00:17.680 Oh, that's neat.

01:00:18.280 That first birthday thing.

01:00:19.260 Can we do that with like AR-15s and like test vials and genetic stuff like that?

01:00:23.960 But, um, of course, I wouldn't get you any status in Korea, but we're like, that looks

01:00:28.580 fine.

01:00:28.940 Right.

01:00:29.120 You know, so it's also not a dismissal of the Joneses.

01:00:32.280 Yeah.

01:00:33.060 Well, I just would emphasize though, that clearly the original tradition was cool and

01:00:40.200 sustainable.

01:00:41.160 It's just been perverted in modernity to this big status signaling thing.

01:00:46.380 There's nothing inherently expensive about this.

01:00:48.660 I love you too.

01:00:49.940 So much.

01:00:52.820 We're doing Everest for fucking jackasses next.

01:00:56.240 Do we have time for that?

01:00:58.340 What do you want to be done?

01:00:59.260 And I, there's a huge mess to clean up downstairs.

01:01:02.280 Like if you want to really, I can, I can do it another day.

01:01:04.800 I've got such a big backlog.

01:01:06.020 Don't worry about it.

01:01:06.680 How about then we do it tomorrow?

01:01:08.760 Cause we have another slot tomorrow and I just want to make sure that.

01:01:11.700 Yeah.

01:01:11.960 I've been, I've been planning on going to, I didn't fully prep that episode.

01:01:14.640 I can come up with so many more reasons that people who claim Everest are jackasses.

01:01:18.540 Oh yeah.

01:01:19.340 Okay.

01:01:19.560 That's good.

01:01:20.000 Because maybe I can too.

01:01:21.580 It is.

01:01:22.660 Everyone's.

01:01:23.320 But I think, you know, we've reached that peak pun intended period of Everest hate.

01:01:28.880 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:01:30.200 There was no, we're not there yet.

01:01:31.340 And to claim Everest is such a selfish thing to do.

01:01:34.320 It's, it's horrible.

01:01:35.380 Yeah.

01:01:35.700 It's horrible.

01:01:36.180 It kills people.

01:01:37.260 It, it pollutes.

01:01:38.940 It's gross.

01:01:39.820 It's not fun.

01:01:40.780 There is no benefit.

01:01:43.320 No benefit.

01:01:44.200 If you want to put yourself in a life threatening, difficult situation, you can do it without

01:01:49.120 polluting and putting other people's lives at risk.

01:01:51.960 Yeah.

01:01:53.520 What selfish, pathetic, and then they just get to the top and they're waiting in a line.

01:01:58.660 Nothing to me.

01:01:59.600 I think everyone who claims Everest, like I look at you, if you say you claimed Everest,

01:02:04.000 I genuinely respect you less than somebody with a swastika tattoo on their forehead.

01:02:08.520 Yeah, honestly.

01:02:09.480 I'm like, you literally have said to me, I don't think that my personal pride is, is

01:02:16.100 more important than human life, human dignity.

01:02:19.140 Oh, not, not just personal pride though.

01:02:21.340 Personal pride in the most basic way and personal pride in, I, I need to signal that I'm better

01:02:29.940 than you, wealthier, fitter, whatever.

01:02:32.940 But like, I did Everest just to show you that.

01:02:36.660 And I'm like, all you've shown me is that you live for nothing other than what other

01:02:42.120 people think of you and what you think of yourself.

01:02:44.520 Could there be anything pathetic?

01:02:45.940 Sorry.

01:02:46.320 You're getting a taste of how spicy we're going to be in this episode.

01:02:48.640 I'm excited to show this.

01:02:49.580 It's going to be an episode.

01:02:50.600 Okay.

01:02:51.300 I love you.

01:02:52.620 I love you too.

01:02:53.840 You're the best.

01:02:55.560 What am I eating tonight?

01:02:56.640 Um, can I do a grilled cheese in tomato soup?

01:03:04.380 We are going to start doing the sausage meat.

01:03:07.420 I was going to say, I think I should have time.

01:03:09.600 Oh, coconut rice.

01:03:11.880 I wanted to do coconut rice.

01:03:13.440 If you want, we can do grilled cheese tonight, but we need, we do need to use the meat.

01:03:17.140 Why don't you start?

01:03:18.240 Well, so for the meat, do you have like onions or shallots to cook?

01:03:21.340 Yeah, yeah, I can very slow cook to like, kind of begin to caramelize some onion diced

01:03:26.480 in butter.

01:03:29.840 We can cook that tonight.

01:03:30.940 That'd be great.

01:03:31.520 I didn't have that with some fried rice.

01:03:33.440 That works fine for me.

01:03:34.620 With fried rice or with just plain rice?

01:03:37.740 Plain rice works fine too.

01:03:39.180 Okay.

01:03:39.400 So cook it, mix in some like veggies or whatever that you chopped up, some onions, just onions

01:03:44.460 works fine if it's faster.

01:03:45.720 In terms of the sauce, I'll have to look at some of the sauces I have to see.

01:03:49.760 I'm assuming you just wanted me to do a coconut milk base and first cook the meat after sauteing

01:03:55.580 onion.

01:03:56.260 And so first saute onion, then cook the meat and coconut milk, then add back the onion,

01:04:00.480 then add in vegetables.

01:04:02.060 I mean, you don't need the vegetables.

01:04:03.860 Ignore the vegetables.

01:04:04.760 The ground, the problem is that the ground pork requires some pretty unique sauces.

01:04:08.660 So I'm going to have to go look for it.

01:04:10.420 The last time I tried one, I got really sick.

01:04:12.380 That was the beef lung sauce.

01:04:14.100 Well, then don't lose that again.

01:04:15.620 Did you throw it away?

01:04:16.700 I threw it away, but I need to find a sauce of like, because only the other thing is,

01:04:19.740 the sauces like that work.

01:04:21.400 Beef lung sauce sounds like it would make you sick anyway.

01:04:27.560 Sorry, am I too into like weird Asian dishes?

01:04:30.240 Yeah, why don't you look at beef lung sauce and think, I need to buy this?

01:04:35.200 Why not?

01:04:35.920 That's the type of man I am.

01:04:37.500 Looked interesting.

01:04:38.860 Looks flavorful.

01:04:40.560 Well, then why aren't you buying like chicken feet and hooves?

01:04:43.860 And that also is because I like the unusual flavors.

01:04:48.820 I don't like the unusual textures.

01:04:52.040 Yeah.

01:04:52.780 Okay.

01:04:53.260 Well, anyway, you pick out your sauces.

01:04:56.120 I will start sauteing the onion now because we need to saute it ahead of time in butter.

01:05:02.400 And I'll see you in a good one.

01:05:04.260 Love you.

01:05:05.240 Love you too.

01:05:06.880 Learn anything fun today?

01:05:08.440 I just got off a long, like, you know, those calls where you have to fix something with

01:05:15.040 your hosting provider and it takes forever and the SSL certificates are messed up, that

01:05:19.560 kind of thing.

01:05:20.080 So I'm like, my, my.

01:05:20.980 I'm really sorry that happened to you.

01:05:22.380 I appreciate you handling it.

01:05:23.520 It's my job to handle that so you can be brilliant and you.

01:05:26.560 But what if I'm not brilliant anymore?

01:05:28.060 I barely bring brilliant ideas to the table.

01:05:29.900 Well, then we'll have to take you out back and shoot you.

01:05:32.300 So it's fine.

01:05:33.080 It won't be your problem.

01:05:34.180 I'm not having good ideas.

01:05:35.460 You'd be like, I'm done with you.

01:05:36.700 I would, I was telling her today that somebody described her as, as, as having the body of

01:05:43.800 librarian dominatrix.

01:05:46.240 And I heard that and I was like, oh my God, I can see that a hundred percent.

01:05:51.040 I mean, what?

01:05:52.060 A book and a writing crop?

01:05:53.480 What, what even does?

01:05:55.120 We're not saying next Halloween, we got to get you a librarian dominatrix outfit.

01:05:59.640 Yeah.

01:05:59.980 What, what even does that look like?

01:06:01.980 Or is it just my outfit?

01:06:03.200 Just is every day a Halloween in house Collins?

01:06:07.500 Really?

01:06:08.260 Let's be honest.

01:06:08.820 I think, I think you have the faith to be a techno puritan.

01:06:11.420 I think that you're like, puritan look like works so well on you.

01:06:15.380 Oh, well, thank you.

01:06:17.600 Yeah.

01:06:18.020 For the nerd thing.

01:06:20.000 All right.

01:06:20.460 I'll get started on this one.

01:06:22.060 Do it.

01:06:22.460 So, what's going on?

01:06:26.080 Uh, Tytan said, the Tytan don't want to, the Tytan don't want to play together.

01:06:34.420 You can play together.

01:06:36.280 Uh, I think Tytan just said no.

01:06:39.600 Tytan said no to playing together?

01:06:41.700 Yeah.

01:06:42.240 Okay, well, Tytan, can Tytan play piano with you?

01:06:48.520 Look, she's letting you play with her.

01:06:50.900 All right, let's keep playing.

01:06:51.860 Okay.

01:06:58.920 You're so musical.

01:07:06.260 Tytan, it's Tytan's turn.

01:07:07.760 Tytan, it's Tytan.

The Stats： Asians Hate Raising Kids ... Why？

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