Based Camp - September 15, 2025
Why Women Can't Find Men in China (Yes You Read That Right)
Episode Stats
Words per minute
171.7467
Harmful content
Misogyny
66
sentences flagged
Toxicity
16
sentences flagged
Hate speech
49
sentences flagged
Summary
The number of marriages in China hit a record low of 6.1 million in 2015, and is on track to drop to 6.5 million by 2024. Why is this happening? Is it because women are having a hard time finding a partner, or is it because men are just not getting married anymore?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Hello, Simone. I'm excited to be here with you today. Today, we are going to be discussing
00:00:04.000
marriage in China, which has a very interesting phenomenon in which women, now everybody knows
0.98
00:00:12.400
for a long time, you know, that China, because of the one child policy, people didn't want girls
00:00:17.820
because they couldn't carry on the family name. They couldn't, you know, take care of you as
00:00:21.460
easily when they're older, et cetera. And so they would find ways to have boys, which meant there
00:00:27.280
was a huge extra amount of boys in China. Right. So you would think the demographic that is having
00:00:34.780
trouble finding a partner is boys, right? That would be my assumption. Right. So I'll go over
00:00:43.920
how bad things actually are in the opposite direction. We will then get into the common
00:00:49.580
explanations people have, why I don't think they're good, and what a good explanation is.
00:00:54.780
Ooh. So at an event in 2025, this was a Shanghai matchmaking event. A mass matchmaking event in
00:01:01.660
Shanghai had nearly 1,000 women who paid a 601 entry fee to attend, but fewer than 50 men showed up.
00:01:11.740
Ouch. 600 women to 50 men. This just seems like a bad marketing thing though, don't you think?
00:01:17.780
No? No, because you'll see that this happens a lot. Organizers noted that when a single man did appear,
00:01:22.860
he was swarmed like a minor celebrity, with women rushing to compete for his attention.
00:01:28.320
In some cities, similar events have reported zero male attendees, despite hundreds of women waiting.
00:01:34.160
Gosh. In Shanghai, there are plenty of unmarried women coming to my matchmaking events,
1.00
00:01:39.100
but hardly any unmarried men. Nowadays, it seems that for every one Shanghai man,
00:01:43.880
there are several, or even over a dozen, women competing. And the women are really desperate.
1.00
00:01:48.620
It's not that they don't want a partner. If there are no men, how can they find one?
00:01:53.300
So now, whenever one man shows up, everyone rushes for him. This has been going on for a long time.
00:01:59.440
A few months ago, Shanghai held a rather special matchmaking event with an interesting rule.
00:02:04.600
Every woman had to pay 600 yuan, while men could attend for free. The women expected a flood of male
1.00
00:02:10.500
participants, but to everyone's surprise, nearly 1,000 women showed up, while fewer than 50 men participated.
00:02:16.440
The Gongzong Singles Fair in 2024, a government-sponsored single fair in Gongzho,
00:02:22.780
had over 800 women registered, but only 40 men attend, resulting to a 20 to 1 female to male ratio.
00:02:30.520
What is going on, especially considering the population skew?
00:02:36.300
The 20 to 25 saw women lining up to meet the few men present, with organizers noting that the men
0.75
00:02:42.460
were quote-unquote overwhelmed, and left due to the intense attention.
00:02:56.440
In the Changjoo blind date market, this was in 2023, in Changjoo, a park-based matchmaking
00:03:02.340
event organized by parents saw a significant gender imbalance.
00:03:05.860
Of the 158 profiles posted, 70% were for women.
00:03:12.500
In Beijing's Valentine's Day event in 2024, a Valentine's Day matchmaking event in Beijing
00:03:16.840
organized by a local marriage agency drew 600 women but 25 men, making it a 24 to 1 ratio.
00:03:24.100
Now, here you might be saying, well, it's because men don't want to get married anymore in China.
00:03:34.220
One poll done by the 2021 Communist Youth League survey found that 44% of Chinese women do not
00:03:41.020
plan to marry, but only 25% of men plan to not marry.
00:03:44.120
So actually, men want to get married at almost double the rate of women.
00:03:47.260
And another poll showed that around 75 to 80% of urban women under 30, oh, this one showed
00:03:55.080
women slightly higher, plan to get married compared to 60 to 70% of men.
00:03:57.900
So in some polls, you see it, but it seems that it's either around the same or men dramatically
00:04:09.920
And to give you an idea of how important this is, demographically speaking, because people
00:04:13.620
don't realize how modern this phenomenon is and how quickly things are dropping.
00:04:17.140
So in 2024, the number of registered marriages in China hit a record low since records began
00:04:22.700
in 1980, falling to 6.1 million couples, a 20% drop from 2023.
00:04:33.580
And it's already in 2024 at less than half the number of marriages that there were in
00:04:41.880
And if we go sort of year by year to show how quickly this is dropping, between 2023
00:04:51.420
Then by, what was it, H1, 2024, the first half, you had another 12.7% drop.
00:05:00.160
Because I just figured everyone is thinking this too.
00:05:03.660
Oh, well, because for men in China, it's too expensive to get married.
00:05:12.240
So yeah, I can go and we'll read into some of the explanations.
00:05:16.080
But the first thing that everyone always says is, well, in China, there's this huge stigma
00:05:23.960
Or women who are, you know, women are supposed to get married young.
1.00
00:05:31.060
And it's like, even if this stigma were true, okay, the high-valued men would secure, because
00:05:38.560
like, sleeping around culture in China and stuff like that, like the problems we have
00:05:42.140
in the US, this isn't really that common in China.
00:05:44.320
To give you an idea of what I mean when I say it's rare for women in China to sleep around,
1.00
00:05:48.240
one study showed that in China, for women ages 20 to 44, only 6.5% reported two or more
00:06:02.360
Like, it's not common to just like date around and sleep around and, you know, the Chad
00:06:16.040
So what would happen, right, if the problem was, is that men just had a preference for,
00:06:20.280
you know, younger women, is the men who were able to secure the younger woman, like the
0.99
00:06:24.540
women who are actually sane enough to secure their partner while they were still young,
00:06:29.180
But then the other men, it's not like they disappear.
00:06:32.480
For every woman not marrying, more than one man isn't marrying because there's more men
00:06:36.080
than women in China due to the reasons we talked about before.
1.00
00:06:38.980
So the men who were left over would still sort of trickle sort to these lower value older women
1.00
00:06:49.160
And then people can be like, oh, well, it's that.
00:06:51.640
And we'll talk about this because economics does play a role.
00:06:53.640
There's like, there's a lot of economic expectations on men to get married in China,
00:06:57.780
like having a house, paying the bride price, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
00:07:04.120
Except the problem isn't that women are being too snooty around these men, right?
0.63
00:07:10.380
It's not if they're swarming them at these men.
00:07:12.920
Yeah, it's that the men aren't showing up in the first place.
00:07:18.320
Well, no, I mean, they're just not showing up to the dating events at least, right?
00:07:23.580
If they were there, like even if they were a lower valued man,
00:07:26.320
presumably they'd have an arbitrage opportunity.
00:07:34.420
So into the surplus of men, they have about 30 to 35 million extra men of marrying age.
00:07:43.700
Let's go over some wrong theories, but that I think are interesting and worth throwing out there and talking through.
00:07:48.720
Chinese marriage follows strict hypergamy, marrying up in status, but it's asymmetric.
00:07:52.980
Women are expected to marry up in income and education, while men avoid marrying down to women who out-earn or out-educate them.
0.92
00:08:00.700
Urban women empowered by education and careers now demand partners who match or exceed their status,
0.57
00:08:05.100
e.g. college-educated women want a man with a house, car, and stable job.
1.00
00:08:09.100
But urban men often reject these quote-unquote strong women as unfeminine or threatening to traditional roles,
00:08:16.560
A 2019 study, Journal of Comparative Economics, modeled this as equilibrium crowding out high-status women's pickiness,
1.00
00:08:24.580
plus men's aversion to status, equals leads to 20 to 30% lower marriage rates for college grads versus less-educated women in surveys.
0.79
00:08:33.000
70% of urban women said they prefer a wife earning less than them versus only 40% of women okay with earning less.
0.99
00:08:39.280
Basically, what you're getting here is just pointing out that men prefer a woman who earns less than them, right?
00:08:43.800
Yeah, which is also common in Western countries.
00:08:47.140
In Western countries, and you're not seeing the same phenomenon as exaggerated in Western countries.
00:08:54.860
And two, even if this was a phenomenon, it would be that the men were showing up to these events and then getting turned down.
00:09:06.000
And when they are showing up, they're being swarmed.
00:09:08.160
So that doesn't really make sense with this theory.
00:09:11.120
Next, the skyrocketing economic barriers theory.
00:09:15.020
Urban marriage requires men to front massive costs.
00:09:19.580
With buy prices averaging around $14,000 to $28,000.
00:09:23.900
And keep in mind what you earn per year in China.
00:09:28.520
With urban property prices up 300% since 2010 and use and employment at 15% to 20%.
00:09:33.900
Many men, especially non-elite ones, can't afford, with many women thinking you need a house in Chinese customs, to buy one and then be eligible.
00:09:42.820
Women holding 40% of urban savings but often transferring it to in-laws upon marriage amplify this by demanding financial proof of stability.
1.00
00:09:50.720
So when they get married, they send all their money to their family.
00:09:53.380
So they're like, I need you to have financial stability.
00:09:59.640
And it is true that marriage rates in China correlate inversely with housing costs where Beijing and Shanghai, only 50% of men under 30 own a property versus 80% needed for eligibility.
00:10:11.380
But anyway, people are like, okay, so why show up if they're not even going to date you?
00:10:18.020
But are the women really being that picky at the events?
1.00
00:10:21.020
We'll get into this in just a second because the answer, a bit of a spoiler, it's yes, they are.
00:10:26.280
Even though you get these scenes of men lining up, like women lining up to men, you don't know what they're asking them in those lines.
00:10:33.540
And that's going to be the big reveal here, by the way.
00:10:37.140
And then the final one is the migration theory, right?
00:10:43.380
Rural areas have 20 to 30% more men due to women's outmigration for education slash jobs, while cities have a subtle female surplus among elites, with women being 55% of college grads in China.
00:10:54.700
But a 5% difference doesn't explain the marriage rate thing that we're seeing here.
00:11:01.000
Okay, so any thoughts before I go further, Simone?
00:11:06.300
Because it's, I mean, those other things are definitely a factor.
00:11:11.440
Also, they've been factors for a very long time.
00:11:20.540
So what has changed is what is happening within these marriage marketplaces, right?
00:11:34.500
It must be something that is happening in these environments that makes men not want to go, right?
00:11:40.840
So let's look at what the men are saying about their experiences.
00:11:46.380
So in one viral Weibo post, a man likened it to a cattle auction, where he said,
00:11:52.740
the women asked about my salary, my house, and my car before they even asked my name.
1.00
00:11:57.920
At a Shandong matchmaking event, where there is 4,000 singles reported in South China Morning Post,
00:12:04.940
Wang John, a 27-year-old office worker, specified he wanted a partner without younger brothers.
00:12:10.060
He explained to organizers that he feared marrying into a family where he'd be expected
00:12:13.720
to support a male sibling financially, a common cultural expectation impactable in China.
00:12:24.360
Can you imagine that, having to support your wife's younger brother?
00:12:32.080
A lot of them are, which we'll talk about in a second, but not as much.
00:12:37.360
Remember when we did our episode on, like, how the incels are stealing all the women from other countries?
1.00
00:12:40.900
China is one of the countries where, if you look at migrants out of China,
00:12:44.620
more of them are women than men, which likely means passport-broing is a large thing that's
0.93
00:12:50.660
Finally, let's take a look at a high-quality unmarried man from Shanghai and why he still
0.77
00:13:02.440
He's been on over 30 blind dates, and every single one has ended in failure.
00:13:08.820
He's quite handsome. What kind of economic condition must he have for him to be unable
00:13:14.160
A representative from the marriage agency explained,
00:13:16.700
That's not the case at all. He's a local Shanghainese, born in 1992, employed in a state-owned
00:13:21.860
enterprise, and earns over 300,000 yuan a year. He's about 1.75 meters tall, pretty average,
00:13:31.380
Many girls actually liked him, but the man had his own ideas. He has 10 types of qualities he
00:13:38.140
If you can meet my requirements, then I can seriously start a relationship with you with
00:13:41.780
the aim of marriage. But if you don't, I'm sorry. Dating is fine, but marriage is out of the
00:13:49.560
1. He doesn't want a girl who smokes, drinks, gambles, has tattoos, or wears heavy makeup.
1.00
00:13:56.140
2. He doesn't want someone who dresses in a bizarre manner. For example, a girl who in
0.99
00:14:01.000
broad daylight wanders around in cosplay. 3. He doesn't want someone who values pet rights
00:14:06.260
over human rights. 4. He doesn't want someone who excessively posts beautified photos or selfies
00:14:11.720
with heavy filters on social media. 5. He doesn't want someone who lives paycheck to paycheck.
00:14:17.060
6. He doesn't want someone who is overly competitive or overly concerned with comparisons.
00:14:22.980
7. He doesn't want a girl who goes clubbing, especially those wearing see-through outfits
1.00
00:14:27.640
and still shaking it at bars 3 or 4 in the morning. 8. He doesn't want someone who lacks a sense of
00:14:32.940
boundaries. For instance, being overly familiar with men who are already in relationships or having
00:14:38.000
male best friends. 9. He doesn't want someone who is not filial to her parents. 10. He doesn't want
00:14:44.380
someone who expects the man to do everything while contributing nothing herself. Netizens
00:14:49.100
10. These 10 requirements are very normal. I thought they'd be something else.
00:14:54.680
Believe it or not, when he presented these 10 requirements at the matchmaking corner,
00:14:58.620
he ended up being surrounded by girls hurling insults at him. They called him an average guy
00:15:03.140
with overblown confidence and told him to look in the mirror. I was really puzzled because it seemed
00:15:08.000
like plenty of girls there actually met those 10 requirements.
0.86
00:15:11.740
So, at a Shanghai matchmaking event, a 27-year-old male attendee, Cheng Wei, described the experience.
00:15:19.260
He approached several women only to be asked immediately about his income, car ownership,
00:15:22.960
and whether he had a Shanghai hokoi. I guess that means like home.
00:15:29.040
One woman, a 29-year-old marketing manager, reportedly dismissed him after learning he rented
00:15:33.860
rather than owned his apartment, saying, quote,
00:15:36.120
Why are you here if you can't afford a home? End quote.
00:15:39.680
Cheng felt humiliated and stopped attending these events. He said,
00:15:43.780
These women act like they're shopping for a car, not a husband.
1.00
00:15:49.240
A lot of this may actually come downstream of how few sexual partners Chinese women have.
1.00
00:15:55.780
When you have only 6.5% of the population having slept with somebody else,
00:15:59.600
you have a population that is extremely guarded in who they sleep with and how they date,
00:16:08.020
And essentially what you're seeing here is what happens when you have what I think
00:16:13.320
what a lot of Western men wish we had, which was overly guarded females about who they sleep with.
1.00
00:16:19.500
When women become overly guarded and that becomes a norm within a culture,
1.00
00:16:22.840
you get a cultural norm everywhere around being incredibly prudish,
00:16:30.000
Right. At a Beijing's single fair, this is 2024, the straight time.
00:16:34.800
So keep in mind, this is all like really modern that this is happening and concurrent with all of this stuff.
00:16:38.660
During a government-sponsored dating event, one 30-year-old engineer,
00:16:44.740
He spoke to a 28-year-old lawyer who listed her requirements within three minutes.
00:16:48.300
A man earning at least $30,000 a month, or $4,200, owning a car, willing to support her and her parents financially.
00:16:58.100
When he admitted he only earned half that $2,100 a month, which is still a very decent salary,
00:17:08.380
Well, I don't care. I would have walked away if I were him because I'm not supporting anyone.
00:17:14.220
I would have walked away if I were him. I would have been glad she walked away if I couldn't,
0.94
00:17:18.620
I didn't have the energy from being so shocked by her demands.
00:17:21.180
He says, women are, we're unreasonably picky, expecting millionaires only.
1.00
00:17:25.240
You know, I feel like to an extent we get this in the United States,
00:17:27.720
it's just that women aren't as transparent or as fast to voice what they're really looking for.
1.00
00:17:32.240
And so you get a little too much pussing around before they're like,
00:17:37.380
I suppose. I just, it would seem then that women and men are
00:17:43.900
culturally unable to marry in China if they are adhering to normative cultural standards.
00:17:52.560
That this is a culture that has rendered itself, sterilized itself completely non-viable
00:18:01.220
from a marriage market standpoint. That is insane.
00:18:06.480
What are they going to do? I mean, can the, can the government intervene?
00:18:13.800
Can the government say, sorry, we're not doing this anymore.
00:18:16.640
Like your family is, cannot expect to be supported by your daughter's husband.
00:18:30.540
What would you do? What would you do if you were Xi Jinping?
00:18:37.080
Tantan dating app encounter. So let's say, okay, not just the marriage markets,
00:18:42.320
A 32-year-old delivery driver, Zhang Bo, shared his experience on the dating app Tantan
00:18:47.360
with Channel News Asia. He matched with a 27-year-old office worker and after a brief chat,
00:18:52.540
asked for his WeChat to see his quote-unquote moments, social media posts to gauge his lifestyle.
00:18:57.400
When Wang Zhou shared photos of his modest apartment, she responded, quote,
00:19:01.320
you live like that? I need someone with ambition, end quote.
00:19:04.700
Zhang felt her tone was, quote-unquote, condescending and stopped messaging her.
00:19:08.580
He noted that many women on apps, quote, act superior, focusing only on wealth or status,
0.99
00:19:13.420
which made him feel like a failure and quit online dating.
00:19:17.020
Yeah, I would too. It's horrible. That's horrible.
00:19:20.540
I absolutely refuse leftover women over 30. This one's already 32.
1.00
00:19:29.760
A reporter asks, but aren't you 35? She's three years younger than you,
0.87
00:19:33.960
and I've seen that her job is very stable. The man replied,
00:19:37.680
I haven't been unfamiliar with leftover women in my life. Let me tell you,
00:19:41.500
leftover women over 30 all share six common flaws.
00:19:45.140
The reporter asked him to elaborate. The young man explained,
00:19:48.180
First, having seen the world when they were young, they develop sky-high standards and feel that no
00:19:56.660
one is good enough for them. Second, even though their looks have already started to decline,
00:20:01.420
they still live in the glory of their youth, casually dismissing any man as ugly or unattractive.
00:20:07.280
Third, their fertility is on the downturn, so having children in the future may be difficult.
00:20:12.120
Fourth, their personalities are generally hard to get along with. If they were more amiable,
00:20:17.400
someone would have already swept them off their feet. Fifth, it's not about love at all. It's all
00:20:22.260
a transaction. They immediately start negotiating conditions with you, asking about your car,
00:20:27.620
house, salary, and even whether your parents have a pension. It's all calculated.
00:20:32.880
Six, if they once had a decent boyfriend, they use the standards they set for their ex
00:20:37.120
when choosing the next one, insisting that the new guy must be even better.
00:20:42.060
Have they ever thought that if their ex was so good to them, why didn't they marry him?
00:20:46.360
The reporter then commented that the young man's views were too absolute, saying,
00:20:51.180
So you think that all unmarried women over 30 have problems? But you're 35 and still single.
00:20:56.100
Doesn't that suggest you might have problems too? The young man answered,
00:20:59.760
If I have problems, I dare to admit them. But would she dare to admit hers?
00:21:03.440
Another dating event that had 800 women and 40 men, a 29-year-old salesman. So this is one of the
00:21:09.780
good ones, right? Talked about the encounter and said it made him bitter. A 30-year-old accountant
00:21:15.000
asked him to list his assets within the first five minutes of talking. When he mentioned he was still
00:21:20.580
saving for a home, she laughed and said, Good luck finding someone with those prospects before moving
00:21:25.720
to another man. So this is at an event where this woman realized there are 40 men and 800 women.
00:21:36.660
She goes to one of the 40 men in one of these lines and her first thing is list your assets. And then
00:21:47.460
Yeah, the level of insanity. When you're in a beggar, you're in the beggar position. You know,
0.86
00:21:57.020
beggars can't be choosers. I can't understand this. Are men and women, do you think, super culturally
00:22:03.620
isolated where they cannot understand how insane they sound? Because I feel like most people should
00:22:13.340
Well, so keep in mind, in China, most of your friends are going to be of your family network
00:22:18.660
because you have much more, like, closer family ties. And so they may not be as, like, and then in
00:22:25.320
social settings, because, you know, it's easy to gender segregate, they really may just not have
00:22:31.420
many male friends outside their families who can correct their expectations. And family members,
00:22:36.400
because they want to be supported, right? They're going to be pushing it.
00:22:41.080
Get your bag, girl, right? You know, that's, that's...
00:22:44.200
That makes sense. Yeah. If you're only friends or your brother who also would love the idea of
00:22:49.780
you marrying someone who pays for his video game Hikikomori lifestyle.
00:22:55.040
Yeah. Of course he's going to be like, hey, yeah, no, of course this is the right thing to do.
00:22:58.740
Yeah. He would be dumb to not. Yeah. He is, he is, he doesn't lose anything for her not marrying
1.00
00:23:03.420
and he has a lot to gain for her marrying someone who does that, who signs up for that scam.
00:23:09.540
Is they're not making a mistake? Like they're actually being really shrewd in their dating
00:23:13.620
in terms of listing what they expect from a partner and then quickly moving on when a partner
00:23:19.200
doesn't have that, right? Like that's really important. That's what I did when I'm dating.
00:23:23.340
That's what I always recommend that people do when dating. Go out, tell people what you're looking for.
00:23:26.880
Yeah. But also the, the, the, the, the secondary part here is you need to adjust
00:23:31.360
your expectations based on the market dynamics.
00:23:35.160
Yeah. They, they don't seem to be responding to feedback. Maybe they don't have a shot at
00:23:45.920
I just don't like before I go first, I just don't see how you could be in an event with 800 women,
1.00
00:23:50.700
40 men look around, like be in a line to talk to one of these men, see all of these women
00:23:58.060
clamoring over these men. Right. Yeah. And then not be like, I am the one on the back foot here.
00:24:07.180
It's, it's, it's, it's women have, have become a way in this country where nobody wants us,
1.00
00:24:12.760
right? Like more broadly, it's her wider category of human that is uninteresting to these men.
00:24:21.380
The rest of this matchmaking scene turned into a textbook example.
00:24:24.860
Today, a couple came into our agency for a blind date. After they sat down, the man immediately
00:24:33.260
asked a woman, how much do you earn per month? She said, a bit over 8,000 yuan. Then the man said,
00:24:39.200
your family must be quite well off, right? The woman replied, just average. My parents are ordinary.
0.96
00:24:44.660
The man then asked, have you bought a house? She answered no. After hearing that, the man said,
00:24:49.460
then let's not talk any further. I've got something to do. The young woman was a bit baffled and said,
00:24:54.300
you start by asking about my income. Are you really here for a blind date? The man responded,
00:24:59.700
it's not like that. I just think we're not a good match. So let's not waste our time.
00:25:03.860
Then the woman asked, what exactly is wrong with us? The man replied, if you really want to know,
00:25:09.100
I'll tell you. As soon as I walked in, I noticed your bag costs tens of thousands of yuan,
00:25:13.720
yet your salary is only about 8,000. Moreover, you're renting a shared apartment, perhaps,
00:25:18.900
where the rent is about 1,000, food costs about 1,500, and utilities plus other
00:25:24.020
expenses add up to roughly 1,000. And on top of that, you still have to buy clothes. Honestly,
00:25:29.440
your clothes aren't cheap either. So can you really manage to save 1,000 yuan a month? I'd say
00:25:34.140
even 1,000 yuan is too much for you to save. Given all that, the only possible explanations for you
00:25:39.100
having a bag worth tens of thousands of yuan are these. Either someone gifted it to you, in which
00:25:44.100
case, why would they give you such an expensive bag? Or you bought it on credit. Am I supposed to
00:25:49.080
help you pay it off? Or third, the bag is fake. If you can't afford the real thing,
00:25:53.460
then there's no need for you to buy one. But insisting on buying a fake just doesn't sit
00:25:57.460
right with me. The young woman, clearly indignant, said, can't I just save up for a year or two and
00:26:02.660
buy a bag I really like? The man replied, if you're scrimping every month just to buy that bag,
00:26:07.500
then we're even less compatible. And then the young woman almost burst into tears from anger.
1.00
00:26:11.780
By the way, I gotta say, I agree with the man's shrewdness in this particular story.
00:26:16.280
I think that this was the right approach. People who like luxury items can make your life miserable
00:26:23.960
really, really quickly. And who will, because if she is going through periods of austerity to get a
00:26:34.260
luxury item like this, she's going to demand that you do the same because she has a taste for this
00:26:40.420
sort of stuff. Whereas a sane person is just like, it's just a bag. Like, why would I want that
00:26:45.540
except to signal to other people or to myself that I am X type of person? And if you need to signal
00:26:51.960
that to yourself, you're going to need to do that throughout your entire life. And you're going to
00:26:55.540
need more and more to do that. If you want to go through some other theories here, which I think
00:27:00.420
are closer to accurate, we have the lying flat theory. Urban men are increasingly rejecting marriage
00:27:06.660
itself, not just events due to changing values. The rise of lying flat and anti-consumerist movements
00:27:13.020
among youth reflects disillusionment with traditional milestones like marriage, which is seen as a
00:27:18.200
financial and emotional burden. Women, despite embracing independence, 44% don't plan to marry,
00:27:23.900
still face stronger social pressure to wed, driving them to events. And that might be another thing that
0.80
00:27:29.920
we're seeing at these events. Oh, they don't actually want to get married. They don't actually want to or
00:27:33.920
plan to get married. They're sort of forced to be there. And so they don't mind walking around and
00:27:37.560
insulting men at these events. Oh, that could explain these insane demands.
00:27:45.260
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they make more sense as insane demands of someone who
00:27:49.900
would be happy to live alone anyway. But sure, if someone's going to pay for this and that and the
00:27:56.420
other thing, I guess I'll get married. But then if not, yeah, no interest. That totally makes sense.
00:28:03.920
Event accessibility and design. So this is another problem that they don't often talk about in these
00:28:08.980
articles where they complain about these events. Matchmaking events are often structured in ways
00:28:13.260
that determine men. For example, high entry fees like 600-1 in Shenzhen, strict screening,
00:28:19.780
e.g. income and education. So you can't even get any of your looking uses as an arbitrage opportunity.
00:28:24.120
Wow. Or public formats, e.g. parents posting profiles, which favor women who are more
00:28:28.720
willing to pay slash invest due to social stigma. Men, especially non-elites, see these as elitist
00:28:35.100
or rigged status competitions. Yeah. Well, and I could imagine someone thinking in principle when
00:28:41.680
setting these events up, well, we have men must be more desperate because there are many more men
00:28:47.960
than women. Therefore, we will charge them more. And not really understanding, not reading the room
1.00
00:28:53.340
and then charging them a lot more. Yeah. Well, I think, I mean, you can continue to charge if women
1.00
00:28:59.520
fail to see that they are the problem. Right? Like, and this is civilization ending for China with their
1.00
00:29:08.060
current fertility rate. Right? Like, this is astronomically bad. It appears that where you're
00:29:14.260
only getting strong marriage rates is in rural regions where you have the less technologically
00:29:18.080
and economically productive populations of China, which is going to eventually bring China back to
0.97
00:29:22.900
its previous poverty. Right? If those are the only cultures within China that continue to breed.
1.00
00:29:27.580
Especially if everyone was in these rural environments who gets educated, moves to cities,
00:29:32.020
which then act as fertility grinders, which creates a dysgenic, i.e. it rewards and well, I'll put it the
00:29:39.360
other way. It punishes the genes that lead to higher educational attainment and higher income attainment.
00:29:45.100
And ambition and risk-taking a lot of the things that help countries become wealthy. Yes.
00:29:50.540
Yeah. How would I fix this in China? I mean, I think one thing that could easily be done to fix this
00:29:56.760
and would be cohesive with China's ancestral culture is to move to a polygynous marriage style
1.00
00:30:05.220
where wealthy Chinese men marry multiple women. If women just aren't going to consider men who aren't
00:30:12.060
wealthier than them, then what you should do is have, you know, two to three women for every one
1.00
00:30:17.480
of these wealthy men and they'll be able to support the additional kids anyway. So they're likely to
00:30:21.340
have even more kids. Outside of emperors having lots of courtesans, was that common with other
0.99
00:30:25.940
wealthy Chinese men historically? I can try to check in a post. Here is what Grok has to say.
00:30:32.000
Polygamy is particularly a man having multiple wives was common in Chinese history,
00:30:36.360
especially among the elite. In ancient China, from the Shang to the Zhao, this was 1600 to B.C.E.,
00:30:45.840
to 256 B.C.E. dynasties, kings and nobles often had multiple wives and concubines to secure alliances,
00:30:52.280
produce heirs, and display wealth. The practice was codified in Confucian texts, which emphasized
00:30:57.040
family hierarchy and male authority. For example, the Book of Rights outlined rules for men of different
00:31:02.820
ranks to have a primary wife, Qi, and a secondary wife for concubines, Kuei. During the Han and Tang
00:31:10.940
dynasties, polygamy remained widespread among emperors, aristocrats, and wealthy merchants.
00:31:16.180
Emperors maintained large harems, sometimes in the thousands of concubines. The Song and Ming
0.99
00:31:22.460
dynasty, so we've gone from 206 B.C.E. now to 1644 B.C.E., they saw stricter social norms, but
00:31:30.540
polygamy persisted among the gentry. A man could take any additional wife or concubine for reasons like
0.93
00:31:36.600
producing male heirs or enhancing status. By the 19th to 20th centuries, Western influence had reduced
00:31:44.580
Yeah, I mean, you know, in like the dramas, of course, it only shows up like within the walls of
00:31:52.540
But that could be an option and would be cohesive potentially with Chinese sort of ancestral ethics.
00:32:01.180
Not what I would prefer for my kids, not what I would opt for my family, but, you know, I'm going
00:32:06.700
to be honest, it seems more realistic adopting to a culture where males take multiple wives than
00:32:12.140
adopting to a culture where women expect less of men. Because that's hard to do, right? And the other
00:32:17.880
positive thing about moving to this system is it would have positive genetic effects instead of
00:32:23.860
Because the men was the strongest gene, like more men would wash out of the gene pool, which would cause
0.99
00:32:29.080
social disharmony, which isn't great, but you already have that degree of social disharmony.
00:32:34.400
And social disharmony matters less if it's coming from the least economically relevant players in
00:32:40.640
society. Social disharmony matters more when it's coming from larger economically relevant players.
00:32:46.280
Right. Because that's where the state's going to feel the hit.
00:32:49.820
It's all about what's happening with the money bags.
00:32:53.720
The other option is, very obvious option is ban. You could create a government regulations that make
00:33:02.380
it harder to move up and stuff like that if you're not married, just putting higher pressure on
00:33:06.000
marriage, right? Or heavy taxes if you're unmarried after a certain age or something like that,
0.67
00:33:14.320
The next is to change cultural expectations about what happens within married, i.e.
0.90
00:33:18.960
governments banning bride prices and taking care of the elderly.
00:33:22.320
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. But then again, they kind of need someone to take care of the
00:33:25.440
elderly, considering that they're not going to be able to.
00:33:28.180
Well, the government does have its murder van for people who break the law that they did that
00:33:32.340
ad for that we've shown in a previous video where they drive around and they're like,
00:33:35.380
if you break the law, we'll come to your house and we'll just euthanize you in a van.
00:33:39.340
Yeah, maybe they can do what Canada did with their euthanasia program, just with their mobile vans.
00:33:48.700
Yeah. The moment you run out of money as an elderly individual, the murder van comes to
1.00
00:33:53.460
your house. That's what China can do. And that's not out of feasibility for China.
00:33:58.040
When I was living in China for 10 years, I mean, I knew that there were death vans in China,
00:34:03.160
but it was always one of those dark things that lived in conversation, not necessarily in real
00:34:09.600
life. But China's death vans or execution vans, these cars that just show up and execute you
0.96
00:34:17.220
for stuff that I'll explain to you later, and they take you away forever. They're real.
00:34:22.780
They're very, very real. The crazy thing is that they want their citizens to know about the vans
00:34:31.260
and they really, really want them to feel scared. I'm not kidding. Not only does this death van pull
00:34:37.220
up and take your life, it's being promoted. They probably do it in some more discreet way or say
00:34:42.460
that like you're doing your civic duty or something. The other thing that they could do is ask women to
1.00
00:34:47.960
be less picky and find a way of socially punishing women who act like this at events or who think like
0.90
00:34:55.520
this, right? Like women should feel embarrassed to have these types of expectations in the way that
00:35:02.040
in the United States, there has been a big campaign basically to make women embarrassed about having
00:35:06.420
these expectations through, you know, huge amounts of YouTube videos that go into this and stuff like
00:35:11.040
that. I mean, you've seen this, right? Like you would know in the U S because even as a woman,
00:35:15.040
you're going to be exposed to some amount of like red pill, MGTOW content. And you're going to be
00:35:18.840
like, Oh, I don't want to be like one of those idiot women who they like interview outside of a club
1.00
00:35:23.420
who, you know, have completely insane financial expectations and all want a guy who's six foot
1.00
00:35:28.660
or whatever. But anyway, thoughts. I think all those are feasible. I do think that if, if someone tried
00:35:35.100
to regulate things like bride prices and expectations around paying off family members, people would just
0.93
00:35:41.420
circumvent that, you know, I feel like there's, there's some stuff you can't really outlaw people
00:35:47.040
will do it anyway. You, we might just need to skip a step and have China just start to make children
1.00
00:35:55.120
of the state in a way it's, it's, they're better off for it because they're 100% their kids, they can
00:36:04.040
raise them fully indoctrinated. They already have experience building infrastructure where they own
00:36:10.320
people and educate them in camps with the Uyghurs, for example, they would just do this and
00:36:18.140
presumably be a little nicer, but maybe they don't feel like they have to be. But I feel like given
00:36:24.040
this additional information, I thought China might wait a while to do that. But now I feel like it's
00:36:30.000
getting to a point where it may make sense for them to just offer women, you know, gestational
00:36:38.560
surrogacy payment and then just take the babies and raise them as a state, as a state. Yeah.
00:36:47.380
Yeah. And then you could better, they have dormitories, they have schools, they train them
00:36:50.920
for whatever jobs. I mean, because then as the state, you will be able to shift your education
00:36:55.760
system on a dime for, for your state children to educate them for whatever it is you need as the
00:37:03.760
global economy shifts. So if suddenly you need more people who are really good with energy
00:37:07.760
infrastructure, immediately you are shifting all the schooling.
00:37:12.920
Yeah. They grew up energy is everything. You know, they, they, you grew up being trained to be an
00:37:17.700
engineer from a young age, right? Like, yeah, you just have so much more control. And I think
00:37:21.260
ultimately China wants that level of control over its citizens. Why not just, I mean, this,
00:37:28.620
this kills several birds with one stone. Uh, and I feel like that could, your dystopian solutions.
00:37:34.860
I love it. Well, I'm just thinking about what would actually work to maintain stability in the
00:37:40.520
country. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think one of the things is, is for generations across almost every
00:37:47.680
human society, women have done a service for the state for free, which is having and raising kids.
0.51
00:37:55.300
Yeah. And I mean, this would just be making it fair, you know, we're, we will pay you
00:37:59.940
to be a gestational carrier and then to give your child to the state and we will give your child.
0.92
00:38:06.820
But the point I'm making here is that I think that people haven't realized how twisted it is for the
00:38:12.660
state to expect individuals within a country to bear the cost of both risking your life to have the
00:38:21.820
next generation of taxpayers. And then you investing and raising the next generation of
00:38:26.700
taxpayers when they expect to reap the rewards of that. Yeah. It, it, it makes sense for the family
00:38:35.860
to take on the burden when the family reaps most of the reward at this point. And this is an
00:38:42.140
interesting thing. I haven't really thought about this way before, but you pointed out something
00:38:46.680
really big. What has also shifted after the industrial revolution and especially with the
00:38:51.800
rise of social services and like the, a largely socialized state is that now the government reaps
00:39:01.340
the vast majority of the benefit from new people being created. That's crazy. Yeah. Because what do
00:39:10.360
parents get in the United States? You don't get old age care. You don't get workers. You get the,
00:39:16.280
you get the satisfaction of watching your children flourish, which now is happening at lower and lower
00:39:21.240
rates because youth is struggling. So I know as a parent, you usually get workers for the farm.
00:39:27.800
You used to get a little person you could send to a factory who'd work for you. And then you had old age
00:39:31.880
care and you had old age care, right? None of that exists anymore. And the main benefit of having kids is
00:39:38.240
the state, the main beneficiary. Yeah. I didn't consider that, but you're absolutely right. Yeah.
00:39:41.660
My God. Yeah. So then China is going to have to just create it. I mean, when, when the primary
0.87
00:39:48.280
beneficiary, yeah, I guess in the end, in, in most economies, it has to be the person who wants the
00:39:55.300
product pays for the product. And we see an economic failure here when the thing that wants the product
00:40:02.520
is unwilling to pay for it. And, and obviously now the product is, is, is going out of stock.
00:40:10.880
No one's making it anymore because you know, no one's willing to pay for it, I guess.
00:40:16.560
That's huh. Wow. Well, that changes the way I look at things, but yeah, that's, that's what I would
00:40:21.940
do. If I were Xi Jinping, I would already be looking to where I'm going to set up the dormitories,
00:40:27.520
the schools, the infrastructure, it's all there. I mean, I'm sure there are regions that you think
00:40:32.460
like Xi Jinping and you go at this, like a, an autistic woman where it's like, if I was Xi
00:40:39.220
Jinping, well, I just demand that I have to impregnate every woman in the country who doesn't
1.00
00:40:43.740
get married. I'd go the Elon strategy, right? I don't know. I don't know where the state would
00:40:48.680
source sperm. I imagine they would just choose like whatever, by whatever measure, like really
00:40:55.960
high performing men. They wouldn't even need necessarily to pay them for it. Cause I think
00:41:02.020
men would just be like, this is great. They need to pay the women, but yeah, we don't need
1.00
00:41:08.560
to wait for artificial wombs for this to be something that especially the Chinese state
0.99
00:41:13.160
would do at scale. You could just take a region that's rapidly depopulating, take over its
00:41:20.020
entire hospital, make the entire thing for maternity. Yeah. Anyway.
00:41:41.420
Yeah, RFAB.ai. If anybody wants to check it out now, it used to be like a terrible site
00:41:50.020
But no, it was not like fun to play around with. Like a bunch of things are broken.
00:41:54.640
Now I got... I was like, you know what? I'm going to try to learn to vibe code. I'm going
00:41:58.800
to try to push this project forward as fast as I can. After like two weeks of working on
00:42:03.180
it, you'd say, Simone, while I was traveling, while we were shooting with HBO, I was able
00:42:08.820
to, it was a huge help from Bruno, get a really, I think, sort of high quality AI chat adventure
00:42:14.200
thing out. So if people want to check that out now, it'll get better every week.
00:42:17.740
And it's a lot better, I would just say than any of the other mainstream AI chat apps you'd
00:42:25.660
had me try. So I'm impressed. Even at this early stage, if you want a better one, just
00:42:34.940
The two sections that are really working well are the adventure mode and the not safe for
00:42:37.860
work mode. So try that out. The adventure mode is the one that we've put the most time
00:42:41.680
into. So try it out. Anyway. But so really, like when you checked it out, did you check
00:42:49.760
out like the narrative engine maker and stuff like that yet?
00:42:51.940
I haven't tried that. I only, I only tried the, the like pre-made.
00:42:56.580
It basically allows you to create like complicated multi-pass AI engines for more complicated types
00:43:04.860
Which I think is really fun as a, as sort of a, a concept for people to play around
00:43:10.520
Yeah, no, it is, it is objectively fantastic. I love it.
00:43:15.660
Actually, I just had an idea for a feature. I want to add pair engine with scenario for
00:43:27.560
I plan to make one for like battles and stuff like that, which I'll put together and one
00:43:33.260
for like city management so we can have different types of AIs running on it, which I'm quite
00:43:36.360
excited about. But yeah, things move so fast when I'm the one being in the grunt work, right?
00:43:44.840
Well, yeah, I, I love that I have a new skill. I can code now. That's awesome.
00:43:52.280
Torsten, did you just say, come down and try to hurt daddy?
00:44:01.400
Do you know that people think that I hurt you, Toasty? People think daddy hurts you?
00:44:10.120
Because you want to hurt me, because it's so funny.
00:44:17.120
And you hurt me, so I'm hurting you and it's so funny.
00:44:21.740
Okay. And you're going to try to hurt me too, Titan, now?
00:44:36.260
No, wait, Titan, we're just trying to have a conversation here.
00:45:58.780
You can't jump from there, you will certainly die!