Classically Abby - 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE BECOMING A WIFE ｜｜ Time for a wife talk!

00:00:00.000 Hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about 1.00

00:00:04.220 10 things you should know before becoming a wife.

00:00:09.580 When I got married there were so many things people told me to look forward to

00:00:13.080 and they were totally right. Everything is so lovely about being married.

00:00:16.720 But I also know that there were a few things that I wish that someone had told me before I got married

00:00:20.900 and I thought I would share with you guys some of those thoughts. So let's get started.

00:00:24.540 The first thing that I want to talk about is the first year of marriage.

00:00:28.260 Now everybody kind of tells you that you're still in the honeymoon phase during that first year of marriage

00:00:33.220 and it's true. But one of the things that I noticed is that pretty much on our one year anniversary

00:00:39.120 I turned to Jacob and I said oh my gosh did our marriage just get so much easier?

00:00:45.420 Now marriage isn't hard the first year but what it is is that it's just a lot of adjustments.

00:00:50.580 You're getting used to living with a new person. You have to get used to their habits,

00:00:53.960 what they like eating, how they like to keep the house clean and it's so much to get used to all at

00:00:59.720 once and that can cause a little bit of friction. So when you're getting married recognize that maybe

00:01:05.340 the first year isn't going to just be daisies and roses all the time. There are times where you're

00:01:10.240 going to be just trying to adjust to living with another person all the time. The second thing that

00:01:15.300 every woman should know before getting married is that your cleanliness level is going to be 1.00

00:01:19.760 different than your husband's. Now for me and Jacob the thing for us is that I love when everything

00:01:25.820 is in its place. I like when things are organized, when everything is put away. He doesn't like dust

00:01:31.280 so I don't like clutter and he doesn't like dirt. So for me that evens out pretty well but what it does

00:01:38.180 mean is that he doesn't really mind clutter. So if he comes home and he puts down something on a chair

00:01:43.360 it might just stay there for a while. And that took me a little bit of time to get used to because I

00:01:48.840 would say oh why can't you just understand what bothers me. But at the same time I don't really

00:01:53.680 understand what bothers him. So be forgiving of each other and just recognize that you're going

00:01:59.060 to want things to be clean in a different way than he is. And that's not a bad thing. You'll just even

00:02:03.900 out and you guys will kind of take responsibility for different things around the house. Now another

00:02:08.580 funny thing for example is that my husband and I've heard this is common always puts his clothes

00:02:13.920 next to the hamper. Not in it, next to it. And I always laugh about that. He did explain the

00:02:19.980 reason to me which is that we have two hampers and he never knows which one is whites and which

00:02:23.800 one is colors. And sometimes I mix them up because I like to just sort them when I get down to the

00:02:27.940 laundry room. But it's still like just put it in the hamper. It'll be fine. So there are all these

00:02:34.120 kinds of things that you just find out when you get married and they work themselves out. The third

00:02:39.380 thing is that take the time before you're married to learn how to cook. If you don't know how to cook 1.00

00:02:44.420 now then maybe take some time and watch some YouTube videos or ask your mom and get some recipes

00:02:50.980 under your belt. Now not all wives cook. I can totally respect that. I just love cooking for my 0.94

00:02:56.460 husband. I think it's a really nice thing to do. And I found that there are certain recipes that I'm

00:03:02.240 really glad I knew before I got married because I can just throw them in the pot or throw them in the pan

00:03:07.540 and I don't have to think really hard about it. Now there are times that it's also really fun to

00:03:12.640 kind of explore new recipes after you're married because you figure out what your husband likes. But

00:03:17.580 just having a few things that you just know you can cook up in a few minutes is the best thing

00:03:23.460 because you don't have to worry as much about trying to figure out something on the fly. My fourth piece

00:03:29.920 of advice for women who are about to get married is be mindful of each other's space. Now not everybody

00:03:37.640 needs space but most people need at least a little bit of it. And at the beginning of your marriage

00:03:42.500 it's going to feel like you want to be together all the time. But if your partner needs a little bit

00:03:46.900 of space that's okay and totally normal. It's nothing against you. He still loves you. And if you need

00:03:52.840 your space that's also totally normal. People just sometimes need to recharge and they can't be

00:03:58.120 around each other 24-7. So if your husband says he just wants a few minutes to read or play a video

00:04:04.340 game or whatever it is just be respectful of that because it's so easy to feel offended when someone

00:04:10.900 says that they don't want to be around you for a minute. But when you're married you're around each

00:04:14.880 other all the time. And it's a totally different thing than when you're dating and when you're together

00:04:19.700 you're really together. When you're living together and you're married you're with each other even when

00:04:24.820 you're not with each other. So it's just really important to recognize when you each need a little

00:04:29.520 bit of space. Number five is to take care of your looks. Now again this might be I guess sort of

00:04:36.900 controversial but I don't think it is. I think it's really easy when you get married because you're

00:04:41.720 with this person and you know that they love you to just not take care of yourself as much. And even

00:04:46.500 for your own sake that can start to feel a little bit bad. So for me it's important to you know shave my

00:04:52.620 legs. Well now I epilate but when I shaved shave. And to get my hair cut and to keep up with my

00:05:02.720 makeup routine and just to keep yourself looking nice because it means something to your husband

00:05:09.080 and it'll mean something to yourself. And at least for me I feel so much better when I just take a few

00:05:15.360 minutes in the morning do my hair do my makeup put on a nice outfit and keep myself looking nice and

00:05:22.460 put together. And I think that husbands really appreciate that too because they don't want to

00:05:26.980 ask you to put on makeup. And a lot of men don't like makeup. My husband actually doesn't but

00:05:31.300 they don't want to ask you to kind of shave your legs. I mean if your legs aren't shaven they're not

00:05:37.380 going to say anything maybe but they also would maybe like it for you to shave. So keeping those things

00:05:43.740 in mind and just trying to like look nice for your partner as if you're still dating is a really nice

00:05:49.620 thing to do. Number six is it's okay to change for your partner. I know how crazy is that to say.

00:05:57.500 Now let me be clear what that means. When you get married your partner really wants the best for you

00:06:02.880 and for the life that you're building together. And sometimes they may notice things about you that

00:06:08.180 you could work on. And if they ask you to work on something that's not a bad thing it doesn't mean

00:06:14.060 that they don't love you for who you are. It means that they love you for who you are and who you

00:06:18.640 could be. The best version of yourself. And I think that the best marriages and partnerships

00:06:23.500 and friendships are the ones where you're accountable to each other. So when I say change

00:06:28.040 I really just mean let your partner come to you and tell you that there are certain things that

00:06:32.700 they're noticing that you could do better. That's okay. And maybe try and implement them. Of course you

00:06:38.020 have to be respectful to each other. And of course you can do the same thing to your partner. You can say

00:06:43.000 there are certain things that I think that you should improve on. But those are things that shouldn't be off

00:06:47.760 the table. You should definitely be able to talk to your partner and he should be able to talk to you

00:06:52.740 about how the two of you can improve together as a team and as individuals. My seventh piece of

00:06:59.800 advice is to make your house a home. Now it is the nicest feeling in the world at least for me to go

00:07:05.300 to HomeGoods and TJ Maxx and home decor stores and just take my time to pick out things and decorate

00:07:11.220 my house. And I think that my husband really appreciates that even if he doesn't really notice it at first

00:07:16.940 there's something about being in a home that is lived in by a woman. There's a really feminine 0.98

00:07:23.240 vibe that you bring to your home that your husband wouldn't have without you there. So take advantage

00:07:28.760 of that. Make his house your house and make it a home that he's so happy to come home to because

00:07:34.620 it's warm and loving and cozy. My eighth piece of advice is that you can still be friends with your

00:07:40.080 single friends. I've heard from a lot of single women that they get really nervous when their friends 1.00

00:07:45.860 get engaged and are getting married because they don't know if they're still going to be able to

00:07:49.560 maintain that friendship. I can say from my experience being married I have friends who

00:07:54.440 are not married and we have definitely stayed in touch. My husband has friends that are not married

00:07:59.480 and they've definitely stayed in touch. And taking the time to reach out to those single friends will

00:08:04.020 really mean a lot to them and to you. Just because they're at a different point in their lives doesn't

00:08:08.480 mean that you can't still stay friends. You can learn something from each other which I think is so

00:08:13.720 important. And so I love being friends with everybody who I knew before I was married.

00:08:19.620 So just taking the time to show your single friends that things don't have to change. Of course they're

00:08:24.960 going to change a little bit because you're going to have to go cook your husband dinner or hang out

00:08:29.520 with him or you're going to be on date night or whatever it is. But your actual relationship with

00:08:34.020 your girlfriends doesn't have to change and you can still go out with them every once in a while on your

00:08:38.880 own. You don't necessarily have to take your husband along and have her be a third wheel. You can still

00:08:43.620 go out with your girlfriends. Just the two of you and that's totally fine. Number nine is you should

00:08:49.100 let your home be welcoming to your husband's friends. Now your husband is probably going to

00:08:53.540 want his friends to come over sometimes and you don't want it to feel like he's not allowed to

00:08:57.460 because then he'll feel like he has to leave his home to have his male friendships. And I think it's a

00:09:03.640 really nice thing for a man to be able to bring home his friends for you to be a part of that. My husband

00:09:09.240 is so wonderful about this. When he has his friends over he actually invites me to be included

00:09:15.100 in board game nights or video games or whatever it is so that I can participate. But there are times

00:09:20.300 where I don't want to participate and that's totally fine and I don't mind going in the other room and

00:09:24.160 reading a book and he can hang out with his guy friends. But I want him to feel like our home is

00:09:28.620 really our home so he can bring his friends and I can bring my friends and both of us feel like it's

00:09:35.500 totally welcoming space for both of us and not a place where you're not allowed to bring home

00:09:39.960 people that you enjoy their company and friends that you want to play cards with and stuff like

00:09:44.880 that. So just make your home as welcoming a space for both of you that you can. Number 10 and my last

00:09:51.500 piece of advice is that it's totally normal to argue. Just make sure that your arguments are for a

00:09:57.080 purpose. Don't argue with each other and start getting on each other's case and criticizing each other

00:10:03.440 about who you are and just yelling for no reason. Arguments should always have a purpose and they

00:10:09.480 should always be used to help your relationship grow and to come to a resolution. Don't just fight

00:10:15.440 to fight and never say something that you can't take back. So always be very mindful in an argument

00:10:22.100 not to say something in the heat of the moment that your partner can't unhear. It's really hard when

00:10:28.300 you are upset to keep that in mind but it's very important. The worst arguments are the arguments

00:10:34.400 where you are just tearing down each other. That's never useful and I don't think that that is a good

00:10:39.960 idea in marriage but if you have to disagree about a big topic that's normal and okay and it's also

00:10:47.620 normal to disagree about something little as long as you guys are respectful during that disagreement.

00:10:52.580 So don't feel like everything is just going to be easy breezy and no arguments ever and you only talk

00:10:59.120 about rainbows and butterflies. No. There are times that there are going to be disagreements and that's

00:11:03.300 totally fine but just keep them respectful and it'll all work out. What are your guys' pieces of advice

00:11:09.800 from being married, from dating, just anything that has to do with relationships and stuff like that?

00:11:15.520 I'd really love to hear. Thank you so much for watching today's video. Please subscribe to my blog and my

00:11:20.480 channel if you haven't already. Head over to my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and follow me there

00:11:24.900 and I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye!

Classically Abby - January 24, 2020

10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE BECOMING A WIFE ｜｜ Time for a wife talk!

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