10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE BECOMING A WIFE ｜｜ Time for a wife talk!
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Summary
When I got married, there were so many things people told me to look forward to and they were totally right. Everything is so lovely about being married, but I also know that there were a few things that I wish that someone had told me before getting married. And I thought I d share with you some of those thoughts.
Transcript
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Hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
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10 things you should know before becoming a wife.
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When I got married there were so many things people told me to look forward to
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and they were totally right. Everything is so lovely about being married.
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But I also know that there were a few things that I wish that someone had told me before I got married
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and I thought I would share with you guys some of those thoughts. So let's get started.
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The first thing that I want to talk about is the first year of marriage.
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Now everybody kind of tells you that you're still in the honeymoon phase during that first year of marriage
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and it's true. But one of the things that I noticed is that pretty much on our one year anniversary
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I turned to Jacob and I said oh my gosh did our marriage just get so much easier?
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Now marriage isn't hard the first year but what it is is that it's just a lot of adjustments.
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You're getting used to living with a new person. You have to get used to their habits,
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what they like eating, how they like to keep the house clean and it's so much to get used to all at
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once and that can cause a little bit of friction. So when you're getting married recognize that maybe
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the first year isn't going to just be daisies and roses all the time. There are times where you're
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going to be just trying to adjust to living with another person all the time. The second thing that
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every woman should know before getting married is that your cleanliness level is going to be
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different than your husband's. Now for me and Jacob the thing for us is that I love when everything
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is in its place. I like when things are organized, when everything is put away. He doesn't like dust
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so I don't like clutter and he doesn't like dirt. So for me that evens out pretty well but what it does
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mean is that he doesn't really mind clutter. So if he comes home and he puts down something on a chair
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it might just stay there for a while. And that took me a little bit of time to get used to because I
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would say oh why can't you just understand what bothers me. But at the same time I don't really
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understand what bothers him. So be forgiving of each other and just recognize that you're going
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to want things to be clean in a different way than he is. And that's not a bad thing. You'll just even
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out and you guys will kind of take responsibility for different things around the house. Now another
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funny thing for example is that my husband and I've heard this is common always puts his clothes
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next to the hamper. Not in it, next to it. And I always laugh about that. He did explain the
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reason to me which is that we have two hampers and he never knows which one is whites and which
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one is colors. And sometimes I mix them up because I like to just sort them when I get down to the
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laundry room. But it's still like just put it in the hamper. It'll be fine. So there are all these
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kinds of things that you just find out when you get married and they work themselves out. The third
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thing is that take the time before you're married to learn how to cook. If you don't know how to cook
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now then maybe take some time and watch some YouTube videos or ask your mom and get some recipes
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under your belt. Now not all wives cook. I can totally respect that. I just love cooking for my
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husband. I think it's a really nice thing to do. And I found that there are certain recipes that I'm
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really glad I knew before I got married because I can just throw them in the pot or throw them in the pan
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and I don't have to think really hard about it. Now there are times that it's also really fun to
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kind of explore new recipes after you're married because you figure out what your husband likes. But
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just having a few things that you just know you can cook up in a few minutes is the best thing
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because you don't have to worry as much about trying to figure out something on the fly. My fourth piece
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of advice for women who are about to get married is be mindful of each other's space. Now not everybody
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needs space but most people need at least a little bit of it. And at the beginning of your marriage
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it's going to feel like you want to be together all the time. But if your partner needs a little bit
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of space that's okay and totally normal. It's nothing against you. He still loves you. And if you need
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your space that's also totally normal. People just sometimes need to recharge and they can't be
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around each other 24-7. So if your husband says he just wants a few minutes to read or play a video
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game or whatever it is just be respectful of that because it's so easy to feel offended when someone
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says that they don't want to be around you for a minute. But when you're married you're around each
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other all the time. And it's a totally different thing than when you're dating and when you're together
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you're really together. When you're living together and you're married you're with each other even when
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you're not with each other. So it's just really important to recognize when you each need a little
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bit of space. Number five is to take care of your looks. Now again this might be I guess sort of
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controversial but I don't think it is. I think it's really easy when you get married because you're
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with this person and you know that they love you to just not take care of yourself as much. And even
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for your own sake that can start to feel a little bit bad. So for me it's important to you know shave my
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legs. Well now I epilate but when I shaved shave. And to get my hair cut and to keep up with my
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makeup routine and just to keep yourself looking nice because it means something to your husband
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and it'll mean something to yourself. And at least for me I feel so much better when I just take a few
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minutes in the morning do my hair do my makeup put on a nice outfit and keep myself looking nice and
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put together. And I think that husbands really appreciate that too because they don't want to
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ask you to put on makeup. And a lot of men don't like makeup. My husband actually doesn't but
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they don't want to ask you to kind of shave your legs. I mean if your legs aren't shaven they're not
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going to say anything maybe but they also would maybe like it for you to shave. So keeping those things
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in mind and just trying to like look nice for your partner as if you're still dating is a really nice
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thing to do. Number six is it's okay to change for your partner. I know how crazy is that to say.
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Now let me be clear what that means. When you get married your partner really wants the best for you
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and for the life that you're building together. And sometimes they may notice things about you that
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you could work on. And if they ask you to work on something that's not a bad thing it doesn't mean
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that they don't love you for who you are. It means that they love you for who you are and who you
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could be. The best version of yourself. And I think that the best marriages and partnerships
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and friendships are the ones where you're accountable to each other. So when I say change
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I really just mean let your partner come to you and tell you that there are certain things that
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they're noticing that you could do better. That's okay. And maybe try and implement them. Of course you
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have to be respectful to each other. And of course you can do the same thing to your partner. You can say
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there are certain things that I think that you should improve on. But those are things that shouldn't be off
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the table. You should definitely be able to talk to your partner and he should be able to talk to you
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about how the two of you can improve together as a team and as individuals. My seventh piece of
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advice is to make your house a home. Now it is the nicest feeling in the world at least for me to go
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to HomeGoods and TJ Maxx and home decor stores and just take my time to pick out things and decorate
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my house. And I think that my husband really appreciates that even if he doesn't really notice it at first
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there's something about being in a home that is lived in by a woman. There's a really feminine
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vibe that you bring to your home that your husband wouldn't have without you there. So take advantage
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of that. Make his house your house and make it a home that he's so happy to come home to because
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it's warm and loving and cozy. My eighth piece of advice is that you can still be friends with your
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single friends. I've heard from a lot of single women that they get really nervous when their friends
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get engaged and are getting married because they don't know if they're still going to be able to
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maintain that friendship. I can say from my experience being married I have friends who
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are not married and we have definitely stayed in touch. My husband has friends that are not married
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and they've definitely stayed in touch. And taking the time to reach out to those single friends will
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really mean a lot to them and to you. Just because they're at a different point in their lives doesn't
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mean that you can't still stay friends. You can learn something from each other which I think is so
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important. And so I love being friends with everybody who I knew before I was married.
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So just taking the time to show your single friends that things don't have to change. Of course they're
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going to change a little bit because you're going to have to go cook your husband dinner or hang out
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with him or you're going to be on date night or whatever it is. But your actual relationship with
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your girlfriends doesn't have to change and you can still go out with them every once in a while on your
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own. You don't necessarily have to take your husband along and have her be a third wheel. You can still
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go out with your girlfriends. Just the two of you and that's totally fine. Number nine is you should
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let your home be welcoming to your husband's friends. Now your husband is probably going to
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want his friends to come over sometimes and you don't want it to feel like he's not allowed to
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because then he'll feel like he has to leave his home to have his male friendships. And I think it's a
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really nice thing for a man to be able to bring home his friends for you to be a part of that. My husband
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is so wonderful about this. When he has his friends over he actually invites me to be included
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in board game nights or video games or whatever it is so that I can participate. But there are times
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where I don't want to participate and that's totally fine and I don't mind going in the other room and
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reading a book and he can hang out with his guy friends. But I want him to feel like our home is
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really our home so he can bring his friends and I can bring my friends and both of us feel like it's
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totally welcoming space for both of us and not a place where you're not allowed to bring home
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people that you enjoy their company and friends that you want to play cards with and stuff like
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that. So just make your home as welcoming a space for both of you that you can. Number 10 and my last
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piece of advice is that it's totally normal to argue. Just make sure that your arguments are for a
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purpose. Don't argue with each other and start getting on each other's case and criticizing each other
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about who you are and just yelling for no reason. Arguments should always have a purpose and they
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should always be used to help your relationship grow and to come to a resolution. Don't just fight
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to fight and never say something that you can't take back. So always be very mindful in an argument
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not to say something in the heat of the moment that your partner can't unhear. It's really hard when
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you are upset to keep that in mind but it's very important. The worst arguments are the arguments
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where you are just tearing down each other. That's never useful and I don't think that that is a good
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idea in marriage but if you have to disagree about a big topic that's normal and okay and it's also
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normal to disagree about something little as long as you guys are respectful during that disagreement.
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So don't feel like everything is just going to be easy breezy and no arguments ever and you only talk
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about rainbows and butterflies. No. There are times that there are going to be disagreements and that's
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totally fine but just keep them respectful and it'll all work out. What are your guys' pieces of advice
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from being married, from dating, just anything that has to do with relationships and stuff like that?
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I'd really love to hear. Thank you so much for watching today's video. Please subscribe to my blog and my
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channel if you haven't already. Head over to my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and follow me there