5 Books That ＊TOTALLY＊ Changed My Parenting
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Summary
In this mini book review, Abby reviews 5 parenting books that have made her a better parent. The Montessori Toddler, The Little People's Guide to Parenting, The Toddler: A Guide to Preschooling Your Toddler and the Little People s Guide to Kindergarten.
Transcript
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Today I want to share five books that have made me a better parent.
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Now I'm only a parent to a two and a half year old and a seven month old,
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but that still makes me a parent. I have some experience with toddlers and babies
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and I'm really excited to share these five books with you that have made
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all the difference to me when I've been parenting my kids. First of all,
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I love a review. I love a review about food. I love a review about movies. I love a review
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about books. I will watch you review anything. Maybe you're the same as I am.
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If you are, leave a comment down below. But I love to listen to people review things.
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So today I'm doing my own book review and I'm very excited. I'm doing five mini book reviews.
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If you would like to see more book reviews, movie reviews, any kind of reviews in the future,
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let me know because I will do them. I love reviewing things. If you are new to my channel,
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my name is Abby and I would love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification
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bell. Now I feel super passionately about these books that I'm about to share with you guys and
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I'm really excited to share them with you. I hope they make your parenting journey better. I hope that
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you pick them up and read them yourself. So let's just get into it. The first book I want to talk
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about is called The Montessori Toddler. So I read this book about a year ago. I actually listened to
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most of these on audiobook. So let's just get that out of the way. As somebody who's running around
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constantly with my kids, I don't have a ton of time to read and when I do, I tend to fall asleep. But if I can
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listen to them like podcasts, if I can listen to them as audiobooks, I can listen while I am doing
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something else, which is huge. Highly recommend that if you are also a busy mom. But The Montessori
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Toddler was high up on my list because I like The Montessori Method, especially for younger children.
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I really like the idea of giving my children independence that makes them feel good about
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themselves. Not forcing independence onto them, but the kind of independence where they can accomplish
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things on their own and then they feel proud that they were able to do so. I also just love the way that
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they feel about children's emotions, feelings, that they're little people. And that is really the biggest
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takeaway I took from The Montessori Toddler. I took a lot of really interesting tips and tricks about ways to
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entertain my children, about ways to avoid screen time, about ways to give them projects, and to have them feel
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like they could do things themselves. But honestly, the most important takeaway for me from The Montessori Toddler
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was the idea that your children have a reason for feeling the way that they do about things.
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There's always talk about kids tantruming and toddlerhood being horrible and terrible and hard.
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But I think the thing that gave me such a good perspective about my child entering his toddler
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years was the concept that he is physically capable of doing a lot right now. But he's not physically
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capable of doing everything. And he's not mentally capable of knowing what's dangerous and what's not.
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So that is a really confusing state to be in as a person, is wanting to do things and constantly
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being told no. The idea that your child knows what he wants and maybe isn't able to communicate it
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effectively, or that he would like to do something and he thinks he can, but then mommy and daddy are
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saying, no, you can't. We are, as parents, establishing boundaries for our children that are
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super important. And as a gentle parent, but not a permissive parent, I think that those boundaries
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are really important to enforce in a kind and respectful way for your children. But that doesn't
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mean that your child is initially going to understand why he can't do those things if he's physically
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capable of doing them. And I think that's given me such a great perspective on my son. I can look
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at him when he wants to do something and I can feel a tantrum coming on. Why is he tantruming?
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It's not irrational. It's entirely rational. He wants to be able to do something and he physically
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can do it, but I am saying, no, you can't for a reason he doesn't yet understand. And his, you know,
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brain isn't really developed enough yet to understand those things. So I don't find that my children
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tantrum because I understand why they're having the feelings they do and we can work through it
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together. Now, when he gets out of control, I've looked to Montessori toddler to give me
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tips and ideas for how to work with him on those, in those moments. So if he's having a real tantrum,
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really like getting out of control, really not able to understand what's happening. That's a moment
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where I say, okay, you can go to your room. I will be here waiting for you. I'm ready to talk to you
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when you are ready to calm down. And it's not a timeout. It's a place for him to relax. And then he can
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come out of his own volition. Now, if he does something wrong, we sometimes do say, you need
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to go to your room. And when you're ready to come out and be kind and be sweet, we are ready. We are
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excited to see you. And when he comes out, we don't get angry at him for what happened. We welcome him
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back because we say, okay, you understood why you had that repercussion, that consequence. And now we
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are proud of you for accepting that upon yourself. But it's such a good mindset when you look at your kids
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and you recognize that they have feelings and emotions, just like everybody else. They're just not
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developed within what we need to function in society as safe human beings. But the emotions
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are the same. And if you can address those in that way, the relationship between you and your children
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is so much more positive. The second book that I would recommend is called Siblings Without Rivalry.
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Now, before we had our second baby, I wanted to read a few different books about siblings. It was so
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important to me that our children be close. And look, I know you never know as they get older how things
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will change. But there's a lot you can do as a parent to encourage good relationships between
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siblings. So I read a book called Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings. And it talked a lot about this book
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called Siblings Without Rivalry. And so I bought Siblings Without Rivalry next. And I realized that was
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really the book that I should be reading. Like that book had everything I wanted to know in it.
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So this book is great because it gives you scenarios to read about and listen to. And it shows you
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the way that you can respond and what that response will cause. And it shows you different ways that
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you can react and how that can encourage better relationships between your kids. First of all,
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I as a child and with siblings have been able to look at the way my parents parented and how that
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could have caused some issues or positive things. And I've been able to say, oh, okay, so I can take
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that away or I maybe don't want to do this. Then looking at my sons, I can see how beautiful their
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relationship is developing. And so much of that is because of the way we have incorporated those
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ideas into our parenting. So it really at this point is about my older son to my younger son,
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right? Because he's the one who has agency. Instead of getting angry at him when he hits his younger
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brother just because he's doing it out of usually frustration or curiosity, instead of saying like,
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why would you do that? How could you do that to your brother? You're a bad boy. We never say any of
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those things. It's always, oh, we don't hit our brother because that's not safe. That could hurt
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him. And we love him so much, don't we? We just love him. We want to protect him. And always reframing
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it in a totally positive way for him makes it so that he doesn't want to hit his brother. Like he
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loves his brother so much and he just wants to play with him. And of course the baby is obsessed with
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his older brother. And that's just an example of ways we encourage our children to be close to one
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another and love each other. But in the book it does talk about, you know, if your child is having
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negative feelings towards another child, that is normal and that is okay. And you need to accept
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the feelings without accepting the actions. So if as our children grow, my older son feels negatively
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at a certain point about his brother, we can say, yeah, it makes sense that you feel that way. I get it.
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And you're not crazy for feeling that way. Now that we know that, we can move forward, right? And not
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always delegitimizing those feelings because those feelings are natural. So that's a really great
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book. And I really highly recommend it if you are struggling with your children's sibling
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relationships. The third book I want to talk about is called Take Back Your Family. Now this book I
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almost wouldn't even recommend as a parenting book. I just think it's a great book to read
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generally. And it's really changed the way that me and my husband think about family as a unit.
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The thing that I just love about this book is how it talks about how everyone
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needs to work to make the family function and everyone has a unique and important role.
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We live in a day and age where family is kind of like you go in, you take what you need,
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and then you go back out into the world. And he says that is not how family should be functioning.
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The family is what life is for. That's where you develop your purpose, your meaning, and it's
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for the family itself. And then when you go out and get married, then you start a family of your own
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and it should be the same thing. It's not like everyone just gets what they need out of the
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family and goes off and does their own thing. The family is in and of itself important. And I think
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that's such a beautiful concept. There's so many wonderful pieces of advice in this book. Like such a
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good read. And one of the things he talks about is just not putting your mission ahead of your family.
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Family is mission. And he talks about how when people put their mission ahead of their family,
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their family suffers. And that isn't good. Like it doesn't make it worth it to be successful
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outside of your family if your family is suffering. And I totally agree with that concept. Now he also
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gives like practical ideas for things you guys can do as a family. And so one thing that we totally
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want to institute as our kids get older is the concept of having like family dates. And what he means
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by that is every person in the family rotates having a date with every other person in the family
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every week. So you have an hour with each person in your family every every week. So like my husband
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and I would have an hour. And then the next week my son and I would have an hour. And then the next week
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my sons would have an hour. Like it would be something where everyone is getting an opportunity
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to spend time individually with one another. So all of the relationships develop. I love that so much.
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Check out this book. Seriously if it's not on your reading list add it right now. The fourth book I
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want to talk about which is imperative to read truly is called Being There. Why prioritizing motherhood
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in the first three years is so important. It's something to that effect. I will post it a picture.
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But it is so this book is like required reading in my opinion. It really talks about the importance of
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mothers being present for their children in the first three years of their life. And why that
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matters. I think we are seeing such problems in our children these days and in people like our
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anxiety levels all of that because we don't have present moms. Moms are not available for their
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children in those first three years and they are not giving them that they need. And children need
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their mothers to thrive. And this book really breaks down scientifically why that is the case.
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The last book I want to talk about is called Hannah's Children. Now this isn't so much a parenting book
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but it is about why it's so important to have so many children. And of course I loved this book. It
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totally changed the game for me because it talks about the women quietly defying the birth dearth.
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If you didn't know we are in a social decline. People are having two children or less which is not
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replacement rate. And the question is why are some women having five children or more? Why do some
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women choose to do that in a society that says that's weird? Right? Like having more than two
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kids nowadays is considered odd. And the question is why? Like why do these women choose to have more
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children in a day and age like this one? Now as somebody who wants to have a big family this book was
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really inspiring to me. And it reminded me and kind of bolstered me when it comes to why I want to do
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that. Why I want to have so many children. And one of the things I loved in this book. Now there's a ton
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of things in this book. It's all interviews with women who have had so many children. One of the things
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I loved in this book was the concept of children being a stage of life versus a way of life. In today's
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day and age we view having children as a stage of life. You have your children and then they grow up
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and you can go back to what you were doing before. And finally you're back to how it was. And this is
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just something you do for a little while. And then you can have the fun that you were having before you
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had kids. These women talk about having children as a as a way of life. This is something that they
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do. Like this is what their life looks like. Once they have their children they have many children
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because that's what they are planning to spend their life doing. And then once those children are grown
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and have their own children the moms are involved with their grandchildren. And I loved that concept
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of like this is not just something you do to get it done and over with. This is what life is for and
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what life is about. And I just I just found that whole book so inspiring. I definitely recommend it.
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So those are the five books that have totally improved my parenting that I wanted to recommend
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to you guys. If you have some good parenting books please drop them down below. I've read a ton but I
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would love to read more. I love parenting books seriously. And if you read all the way to the
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end of this video leave a book emoji so I know that you did. Thank you guys so much for watching