Classically Abby - September 09, 2021


5 ＂Feminine＂ Behaviors That Aren't REALLY Feminine!


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

157.94041

Word Count

1,456

Sentence Count

87

Misogynist Sentences

28

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
00:00:05.000 five femininity mistakes I've made.
00:00:12.440 Here on my channel, I think it is so important to embrace our femininity, and part of being
00:00:18.880 a classic woman is knowing the value of womanhood.
00:00:23.300 But I've made the mistake in the past of confusing certain behaviors with femininity and thinking
00:00:29.600 that those things that I was doing were feminine, and in fact, they weren't.
00:00:35.960 I was misunderstanding what feminine really means.
00:00:40.020 So today, I'm really excited to share with you this list of five things that I've done
00:00:45.880 in the past thinking that they were feminine, but really they weren't.
00:00:50.820 And I think it's so good to be able to talk about this topic and recognize the difference
00:00:57.660 between what's actually feminine and what has been determined to be feminine in modern
00:01:04.580 parlance, in modern society.
00:01:07.000 I think that there are certain behaviors that have taken on the connotation of femininity,
00:01:11.980 but they're not actually feminine.
00:01:14.440 And I think in a lot of ways, that cheapens the beauty of real femininity.
00:01:19.780 So I'm really excited to get into today's video, but before we do, make sure that you're
00:01:24.480 subscribed to my Substack newsletter, where you'll get access to exclusive content, including
00:01:29.600 my podcast, Classically Abbey Live, and to my book club, as well as other exclusive content.
00:01:36.860 So now, let's get into it.
00:01:38.640 The first femininity mistake I made was to confuse sexiness for femininity.
00:01:45.160 One of the things that we as women can do is use our feminine wiles or manipulate.
00:01:51.380 And those two things are unique to being a woman, but they are not feminine.
00:01:57.720 They do not make you womanly.
00:02:00.940 To engage in really bad behaviors in order to get what you want is not a feminine quality.
00:02:08.000 Feminine qualities are gentleness, but also guidance in a positive way.
00:02:14.140 And misleading people and causing them to stray by using our manipulation or allowing ourselves
00:02:22.300 to use those feminine wiles negatively is not good.
00:02:27.020 And it isn't actually feminine.
00:02:29.200 And I think I used to do this because I felt empowered in my feminine behavior, right?
00:02:36.500 I was able to get a man's attention by being sexy.
00:02:39.700 I was able to get someone to do what I wanted by acting like a woman can.
00:02:46.540 But at the end of the day, those things weren't really embracing my femininity because there's
00:02:52.640 a difference between embracing femininity and abusing femininity.
00:02:57.420 And I definitely abused femininity in that way.
00:03:01.340 And I think it's very easy to do.
00:03:03.600 And in today's modern society, being sexy, using your feminine wiles, manipulating are
00:03:09.500 all under the title of feminine behaviors instead of recognizing that women can do those things
00:03:17.920 uniquely.
00:03:18.820 But it is not a feminine thing to do.
00:03:21.860 It doesn't make use of our femininity in the most positive way.
00:03:25.620 Number two is being vain.
00:03:28.380 I used to take way too much time with my hair, way too much time with my makeup.
00:03:33.560 And, you know, I don't think it's bad to do those things, to take care of yourself, or
00:03:39.380 if it's something that brings you a little bit of joy.
00:03:42.040 But doing it to look good all the time and needing to look amazing in all photos and being
00:03:50.040 really kind of vain, those are not feminine qualities.
00:03:53.920 A feminine woman embraces her beauty and knows how to accentuate it, but she doesn't rely
00:04:00.900 on her looks to define her.
00:04:03.220 And vanity can really make you think less of your personality because you're so dependent
00:04:09.600 on people thinking you look beautiful that you don't actually give yourself credit for
00:04:15.440 being who you are.
00:04:16.860 And again, I think this is a really easy femininity mistake to fall into in today's day and age,
00:04:22.360 where you think that looks make you feminine.
00:04:26.680 And taking care of your beauty, encouraging your beauty, that's great.
00:04:31.740 That is feminine.
00:04:33.160 But being vain is a really different animal.
00:04:36.900 It's something that takes away from your feminine beauty if you're so focused on your looks that
00:04:42.540 you can't get past yourself.
00:04:44.200 And if you've ever been around someone who's really truly vain, you know how boring it is.
00:04:49.460 It's just, there's this self-consciousness that prevents you from living your life because
00:04:53.500 you want to look perfect at all times.
00:04:55.520 And that is not a feminine quality.
00:04:57.760 Number three is thinking weakness is feminine.
00:05:00.280 I used to think that kind of giving in to my weakness was a feminine thing to do because
00:05:07.100 women are physically weaker than men.
00:05:10.120 But the fact is that a strong woman is the most feminine thing in the world.
00:05:14.640 When a woman is strong, she is better.
00:05:17.560 She can be the best version of herself and she can help those around her.
00:05:22.280 And that is really feminine.
00:05:23.860 Again, this goes back to that gentle guidance that embracing your femininity allows you to
00:05:29.720 do.
00:05:30.460 And if you are weak, you can't help anyone.
00:05:33.380 You can't guide anyone.
00:05:35.100 You are a damsel in distress.
00:05:37.140 And being a damsel in distress sounds feminine, but at the end of the day, it's not.
00:05:41.860 It's not feminine to be a weakling and to allow yourself to fall into victimhood.
00:05:48.720 It's very much so feminine to find that feminine strength and be the person that someone can
00:05:57.120 depend on.
00:05:58.160 So weakness may seem like a feminine quality, but in fact, strength is.
00:06:03.440 Number four was dressing prettily, but impractically.
00:06:08.440 I always thought that, you know, you think of a feminine woman and you think of a woman in
00:06:12.600 a beautiful dress and gorgeous heels with, you know, a gorgeous outfit on.
00:06:18.080 But at the end of the day, if it's impractical, how feminine can you really be?
00:06:22.860 You're not able to walk.
00:06:24.200 You're not able to go anywhere.
00:06:25.900 You're not able to do anything.
00:06:27.820 That's not an attractive quality and it's not really feminine to be useless.
00:06:33.500 I mean, femininity is all about embracing that feminine strength and being an impractically
00:06:42.060 beautiful person.
00:06:43.260 Again, this kind of falls into the vanity issue is just not a feminine quality because it takes
00:06:49.220 away from your womanhood if you're just a porcelain doll and that's not actually feminine.
00:06:55.240 It's a picture of femininity in our minds, but it's not real femininity.
00:06:59.880 So, how do you get to real femininity?
00:07:02.880 It's not by dressing impractically, but beautifully.
00:07:05.820 It's dressing beautifully, but in a way where you can actually be useful and be helpful.
00:07:10.600 And real femininity is not just about that pretty picture on the shelf.
00:07:14.320 It's about finding your purpose in your womanhood.
00:07:17.660 My last femininity mistake was being friends with more men than women.
00:07:22.820 When I was younger, I used to be the kind of girl who would say that I couldn't make friends
00:07:27.460 with women, that I needed to have friends that were guys, that I liked hanging out with
00:07:31.500 guys more than I liked hanging out with girls.
00:07:33.760 And I think part of that was the women I was hanging around with at that time were not
00:07:39.720 necessarily good for me.
00:07:41.440 They were not living by my values and it can actually rub off on you.
00:07:46.360 But more than that, I think that there's an issue when we believe that it's feminine not
00:07:54.580 to have female friends because you're too girly or men like you too much for you to be able
00:08:01.320 to hang out with women.
00:08:02.900 Nowadays, I have a huge friend group and it's all women and I love it.
00:08:07.520 It makes me so happy.
00:08:09.440 And this is real femininity.
00:08:11.360 This is the greatest thing that I can give myself as a woman is having other women I can
00:08:17.560 talk to about life, about what we're going through.
00:08:20.520 But a femininity mistake is not understanding that other women who share your values and
00:08:25.480 your perspectives are going to bolster you and make you a better version of yourself and
00:08:32.760 allow you to embrace your femininity even more instead of I'm feminine because boys like
00:08:39.100 me.
00:08:39.360 That is not what femininity is.
00:08:42.720 Femininity is really about recognizing what makes you woman and how you can use that in
00:08:49.740 the best way.
00:08:50.740 So that is my video today.
00:08:52.280 Let me know in the comments if you've made any of these femininity mistakes yourself.
00:08:56.480 I'd love to hear your thoughts.
00:08:58.060 If you're not already subscribed to my Substack newsletter, I would love if you would come
00:09:01.720 join us.
00:09:02.480 And if you'd like to follow me on social media, it's Classically Abbey absolutely everywhere.
00:09:06.500 Make sure you're subscribed to my YouTube channel and make sure to ring that notification
00:09:10.400 bell.
00:09:10.780 And I will see you guys in my next video.
00:09:12.700 Bye!
00:09:13.060 Bye!