5 Things I Don't Do As A FEMININE Homemaker! ⧸⧸ Let's be PRACTICAL...
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, I talk about the 5 things I don't do as a homemaker and as a feminine homemaker, and why they are unrealistic things I do not do in my role as a stay-at-home mom.
Transcript
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let's talk five things i don't do as a feminine homemaker if you are new here my name is abby
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and here we talk about classic living and traditional values and i would love if you
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would consider joining our family over here our little classic crew i have really been getting
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into homemaking lately and so that's been a big topic of discussion here on this channel
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but you'll also be able to find conservative mom movie reviews as well as an assortment of other
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kind of traditional lifestyle stuff so feel free to subscribe it's absolutely free but in today's
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video i want to talk about the five things i don't do as a homemaker and as a feminine woman as a woman
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who embraces my femininity it's really interesting because i think so much of what we see about women
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who are at home and women who do homemake is like beautiful pictures and beautiful aesthetics on
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instagram and as a person who is in the act of homemaking every single day and is in it with my
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son every single day there are just certain things i don't do as a stay-at-home mom and i think are
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kind of unrealistic so i want to share those with you guys today i'd love to hear your thoughts in
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the comments so make sure to leave something down below and let's get into it p.s if you didn't know
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i am 24 weeks pregnant when i'm recording this so that might be why i sound out of breath
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i am very into nesting right now my mom has been coming over and we've been just doing a giant
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clean out of my house thank god because i just want to throw everything out and it's been rather
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exciting but not to get too derailed let's start with number one number one is wear beautiful clothes
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i love fashion i love style i love dressing well and wearing clothes that are cute and fun
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but i see so many women on instagram on youtube who just look absolutely gorgeous while they're going
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about their very aesthetically pleasing homemaking stay-at-home lives and here's the thing for me
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i need to be able to make a mess i need my son to be able to eat something and then have me wipe his
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hands and if his hands still have chocolate or peanut butter or whatever else it is on them i need
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to be okay with that food getting on my clothes the few things that i own that need to be dry cleaned
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i only wear on date nights i would say that the majority of my clothes can be thrown directly into
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the washing machine and that is of absolute importance to me and i think that is so much more
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important than wearing really beautiful clothes all the time wearing things that are flattering and you
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love and are fun is great but they have to be easy and you have to have the flexibility to live your
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life as a good mom if you're more concerned about your clothes getting dirty than you are about getting
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down in the mud with your child i think that that's the wrong way to look at things and it's just
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you've got your priorities mixed up i can look at all these women online and be like wow they look
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amazing like that's so beautiful but at the end of the day it's not practical and i i'm a practical
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person i'm a practical mom my my husband was teasing me that when i go to things with other moms not all
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of them are of the same perspective that i am and i'm the one who's like i'm down in the dirt i'm like
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let's let's get dirty let's make messes because i have a boy i have a son i have another son on the
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way and i think it's good for them to get dirty and i don't ever want my son to run up to me and
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me to be like no no no i'm wearing a nice dress like that's just not my style so that is the first
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thing i would say as a feminine homemaker i kind of reject is this idea of wearing really beautiful
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clothing that actually prevent you from being a better mom the second thing i don't do as a
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feminine homemaker is keep a picture perfect household i remember before i had my child i was
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like i'm not gonna own any of those big ugly toys in the middle of my house nah well that that went out
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the window as soon as these things made him happy and i was like oh we are definitely buying that that
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is super fun to be honest i would say that my house is about 85 percent clean and in the evenings
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i try to get it to about 95 but throughout the day that can totally range from like 20 clean
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to 100 clean just based on what we're doing just based on if we're outdoors all day or if we're
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indoors all day and i can't make myself so crazy about cleanliness and tidiness that we aren't living
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our lives i actually posted an instagram reel a little while ago about how a lived in home that
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looks a little messy is also a loved home and so prioritizing what needs to be clean what areas
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need to be kept tidy is really important and i think that there is a level of cleanliness and
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tidiness that needs to be upheld for my mental health this is my office this is my working space
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as a stay-at-home mom so i like to keep my house clean but there's a certain level of cleanliness that
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is not going to be reached on a daily basis and i have to be okay with that or else my son's gonna
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feel crazy i'm gonna feel crazy we're gonna feel like we can't move or live our lives and so the reason
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i bring this up is because often you see on instagram on social media these beautiful homes well they're
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taken in a moment where things happen to be clean but the truth is that if you're living in your house
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if you're a homemaker and if you are constantly working in your home then your home is not going
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to be tidy all the time it's not going to be clean all the time that's just not going to happen and so
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i think it's really a wonderful thing to embrace that cleanliness and tidiness have to be put in their
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proper place and so it can be a very important element to your daily routine i know it is a very
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important element to mine but am i gonna mop every night no but i will mop around my son's high chair
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every time he eats like that's what works for me and i try to do like a vacuum mop situation once a
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week so throughout the week my floors might not be so clean okay so if i see something really messy
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i'll pull up my vacuum real quick and i'll take it up but if there's you know some kind of dried stains
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on the floor if i don't get to it today i'll get to it on friday that's that's my philosophy and i
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think it just makes everyone feel a lot more comfortable a lot more at ease about living here
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the third thing that i don't do as a feminine homemaker is do my hair and makeup every single
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day i do not do that i love doing my hair and makeup it is something that brings me quite a bit of
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joy but there are many days i do not have time there are many days where that is at the bottom of the
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totem pole as far as things that i need or want to do and i choose not to do them and i have found
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that by making it something that i get to do sometimes rather than something i have to do
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every single day i find actually more joy in it because it's not something like oh gosh i gotta get
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my makeup on before we leave the house or i gotta do my my hair before we get out of here it's something
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that i get to do when i have time and that's like okay i got to put on a little makeup today or
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i got to do a nice hairstyle today as you can see this is just my natural hair so it's not curled
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it's not straightened it's just this is my natural texture and i didn't have time to style it so i put
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in a little bit of hairspray i brushed it we're good that's enough i am wearing a full face of makeup
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today because i happened to have time my mom came over she was watching my son for a little bit and
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that's when i got to do my makeup because i'm filming this video but for most of the time most days
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i don't have an opportunity to do it and i'd rather use that time to exercise or to make breakfast or
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to clean and i have to choose how i use my time very effectively so even though from a very feminine
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beauty-based perspective doing your hair and makeup is lovely and is a wonderful thing if you look clean
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and if you look put together then those other things are less important and it's much more
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important what you are doing for your family and how you are making your house into a home so if you
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doing your makeup means that somebody isn't getting your attention who needs it then maybe that's not the
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best way to prioritize things and that feminine element of beauty is actually less important than the
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feminine element of being dependable and nurturing that is how i view these things and it means that
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i don't always look picture perfect and that is absolutely fine the fourth thing that i don't do
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is aim to have an unachievable figure you know i think after you have children your body has gone
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through so many changes but you still kind of want to look like you did before you had kids i mean they
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say you know get your body back which is never going to happen because your body is fundamentally
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different after you've had children i'm having my babies pretty close together i think it's really
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easy to aim to have a figure that's never going to happen now there are women who get their bodies
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back and who look incredible after they have kids and there's a few different elements to that
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genetics is one um if you have a full-time nanny who can watch your kids while you go to the gym
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if you have the time if you have the energy i mean those are those are things that can help you get your
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body back to where you want it but the most important thing about exercise and fitness is
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staying healthy for your family and when you are staying healthy your body will naturally look better
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so i always focus on that i focus on i want to be strong for my son i want to be physically fit so
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that this pregnancy is easier i would like to look attractive to my husband but that's going to come
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through me trying to stay healthy and so instead of trying to aim for something that's not going to
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happen because i have stretch marks on my belly i have a very different looking body than i did before
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i had babies and i don't have somebody who can watch my baby whenever i want so i can go to the gym for
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two hours i have instead embraced trying to work out and stay healthy and exercise and eat well
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so that i can be more present for the people around me and so that i feel good in my body
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i don't want to feel bad in my body i find that physically i feel better and and mentally i feel
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better when i exercise but it's not about having a six pack it's not about looking amazing at the beach
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it's about looking nice for my husband because i think that's important and i think that's nice but
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mostly being healthy and strong and if i'm those things i am more than happy and that has been my goal
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since becoming a full-time homemaker is not to push myself to look like something that is impossible
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with the time that i have but rather to give myself the gift of health and fitness so that i can stay
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strong and feel good and the truth is there's a really big difference and i think this is something
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i want to do a video on maybe at some point there's a really big difference between stay-at-home moms and
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moms who don't have to work and stay-at-home moms are the women who like me are busy taking care of
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the kids all day that is that is my task i take care of my child and i take care of my home that is my
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job and anything else i can fit in is an extracurricular that is different than a mom who doesn't have to
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work because her husband can afford for her not to work and so she has a nanny and she has help and
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her schedule is not as focused on getting things done around the house you know she might have a
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cleaning lady uh or or taking the kids around because she has full-time help so she can go exercise
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and she can try to aim for that body that is a little more unachievable for those of us who don't have time
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and so i think comparing these two different lifestyles but putting them all under the header
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of stay-at-home mom can be confusing for those women who are working as stay-at-home moms versus
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those women who have more flexibility with their time the last thing that i don't do as a feminine
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homemaker is live my life for the gram now what i mean by that is i don't care how my day looks to
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other people my day may look boring to someone else may look mundane may not look exciting or beautiful
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at every turn but for me it is absolutely fulfilling and for my child it is what he needs and for my
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for my family this is where i can best serve the people i love and the people i care about and so i
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don't need my life to look amazing to look like the kind of life that everyone would want what i do
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here is important not because it's like wow look at her incredible life it's important because i'm
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doing something important i'm doing something important with my time i'm raising the next
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generation i'm supporting the people in my life who i care about and who i love and i feel fulfilled in
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that and that is what's important that's what i'm trying to impart when i share things on instagram
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it's not look at my beautiful home and how i love to be in it it's look at my day-to-day and see how
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this is this is what it's about like it's not just about beauty and aesthetics it's about doing what's
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important and caring for people and putting my energy into things that are fruitful so i don't care if my
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day-to-day doesn't look like oh my gosh she got to do a bike ride today or like oh my gosh she made
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sourdough in her kitchen because i don't do either of those things um no my day-to-day is often driving
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my son to a little class in the morning and then doing errands in the afternoon and cleaning the house
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and cooking with him and it's not super exciting it's not a glorious you know afternoon in the summer
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it's just my life and that is what's important and the real reason i wanted to make this video is
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because i think that homemaking on social media has taken on an aesthetic of its own and has taken on a
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vibe of its own and if your day-to-day as a homemaker doesn't look that beautiful it doesn't look that
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amazing if you don't have the time to make yourself look like an instagram model every morning
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you're not doing it wrong you're probably doing it right you're probably doing it much more right
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than the people who are focused on making it look picture perfect so you can be a feminine homemaker
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just by being a good homemaker not by being the most attractive homemaker or anything like that
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so i hope you guys enjoyed today's video please let me know your thoughts in the comments below i'd
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love to hear if you'd like to join my book club on substack i would love if you would come on over