5 Things To Know When You Become A MOM! ⧸⧸ Oh my gosh, the adjustment is REAL...
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Summary
In this episode, I talk about the 5 things I learned in the first week of motherhood and how they have changed my life and the way I see motherhood in the future. I hope this episode helps you learn and grow from them.
Transcript
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Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
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five lessons I learned in the first week of motherhood.
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If you hear any noises in today's video, that would be my son. He is sitting next to me in his
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chair. He needs to take a nap soon, but right now he's down here being super cute. But I'm
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excited to get into today's video where we're going to be talking about five things I learned
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in the first week of motherhood. Now that we're seven weeks away from having given birth, I feel
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like I can talk about this with a little bit more of a clear head, but wow, the first week of motherhood
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is hard. It is so much. It is a huge adjustment, and you're dealing with sleep deprivation, hormonal
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changes. It is overwhelming, truly. And I remember I actually sat down with my phone. I was excited
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because I thought, I'm going to talk about all of these things with my audience, hopefully help them
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out. If you're feeling this way, know that it's normal. And if you are not a mother yet, give you
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kind of a preview of what maybe you should expect. But I wrote down my thoughts for myself so that the
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next time I have a baby, I can remember these things because it was a shock in many ways to me.
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Before we get into today's video, if you are new here, we talk about traditional values and classic
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living. And I would love if you would join us. So make sure to hit that subscribe button and hit
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articles and my book club. So definitely head over to classicallyabby.substack.com. But now let's get
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into today's video. Hi, boobush. Choo-choo. Choo-choo face. The first lesson that I learned in the first
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week of motherhood is that motherhood is much more practical than it is recreational. I had always
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imagined that motherhood was going to be cute and fun and you're playing with your baby all the time
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and you're just enjoying the newness of this newborn in your life. But motherhood, especially
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at the beginning, is so much about keeping this person alive. And it is manual labor and it is
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practical steps that you are taking in order to make sure that your baby gets what he or she needs.
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So it's breastfeeding. It's putting them to sleep. It's changing their diapers. And it's not all about
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snuggling and how cute this baby is and, oh, I can just play with him all day, although those things
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are nice and fun. But really, in my mind, it was like, oh my gosh, I just need to keep him alive. And it's so
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much work to do those things, even though it's just really three things that you're doing over and over
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and over again. It's a lot to handle. And it takes a while, especially with a newborn, because
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feeding is hard. Breastfeeding is so hard. I'm still in the process of that. And then putting
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them to sleep, not easy. Babies don't always want to be put to sleep, so that can be a process.
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And changing their diaper, that's easy, but it can be an adventure when you are in the middle of
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changing diapers and all of a sudden more fluids are flowing than you expected as you are changing the
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diaper. So, you know, I think that a big lesson for me was it's a lot more work than you anticipate,
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in a sense. You think about the big picture stuff of it being hard and it being work, but you don't
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picture the day-to-day of just, is this boy getting what he needs from me? Is he getting food? Like,
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that is a huge stressor. Oh my gosh. The food thing, the breastfeeding thing is the, I would say,
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the biggest stressor. But it's just, how is this boy going to survive? And it's all on me and my
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husband. So, you know, I think that recognizing early on that it was so much more about the
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practical aspect of motherhood than it was about the recreational part was a hard lesson for me.
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And then once I figured that out, it sort of, it started to even out a bit. Number two is that even
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though motherhood is practical, you need to make sure that you are loving on your baby in that first
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week. I really struggled with this at the beginning. I felt like all I was doing was these practical
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things, this putting the baby to sleep, feeding him, and changing his diaper. And then anytime I
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wasn't doing that, I was told I needed to go sleep because I wasn't really going to be sleeping in the
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night and I need to get my sleep so I can be a good mom. But the problem is, is that in that first
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week, your hormones are crazy. I could not sleep at all. And so I felt like anytime I would have spent
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with my baby in a fun, recreational, loving, snuggly way, I was supposed to go off and sleep at myself.
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And I hated it. I remember coming to my mom who was holding the baby while I was trying to nap and
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failing at it. And I said, I'm really jealous of you. You get to hold the baby. You get to enjoy the baby.
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And I just have to go in the other room. Like, what the heck? So one of the things that I really
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highly recommend is in that first week, love on your baby, snuggle your baby, and assume you're
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not going to sleep when the baby sleeps. If you can, awesome. But if you can't, don't drive yourself
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crazy because I really did. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not sleeping. This is so stressful.
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And one of the things that I needed to realize and do was hold the baby when he sleeps.
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And sometimes it's okay to sleep with the baby next to you. Now I always had someone in the room
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with me because I didn't feel safe, just me alone with the baby. But I would have somebody in there
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while I slept next to the baby and I held him. And it was so nice. That was really the only way I
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could sleep was if he was sleeping next to me during the day. God bless you. God bless you. So it was
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really important for me to recognize that it's not just about those practical things. The first part
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is recognizing how much of motherhood is practical. But the second part is now that you know that,
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you have to infuse in the snuggles and the love and the enjoyment of your newborn. And so holding the
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baby whenever you can, not stressing yourself out about scheduling. I was really stressed about
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the scheduling early on. And honestly, it's just not going to happen that quickly. Now we are on a
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very good schedule now. And I know that some women don't get on a schedule or try to get their babies
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on a schedule for a long time. But we actually did do that, which was amazing. But in that first week,
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nothing is going to go to plan. And the idea of just do this or just do that is not a thing.
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The baby's going to do what he needs to do and what he wants to do. So just going with the flow.
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That is very much, very much part of new motherhood. Number three is breastfeeding is only as important
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as you make it. Oh my gosh. So the first couple of days with my baby boy, he did great at the breast
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and it was fine. And then my milk came in and I got so engorged that he could not latch. For an entire
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day, he could not latch. And eventually I had to pump and give him a bottle because he could not get
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anything from me. I was really stressed about this, as you might imagine, because you think
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I'm the only way that this boy is going to get any sort of sustenance. And that is such an
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overwhelming reality. You need to get your baby food. Fed is best. You know, I think we, most of
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us believe this now, but fed is best. And if he's not getting it from you, you can always use formula.
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You can always pump and give him a bottle. There are ways that he will be fine. Don't put the
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pressure on yourself that you have to breastfeed immediately so that he can survive. I love
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breastfeeding and I think it's really important. And I've worked really hard to get to a place where
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we can do it, even though our breastfeeding journey is a little bit different. You know,
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I have to use a nipple shield right now. I have to pump off the first ounce on each breast
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because I have too much foremilk. So it is a little bit more complicated. But early on,
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I think that it was really important when my lactation consultant, who I'm obsessed with,
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I love her, said to me, you know, if breastfeeding isn't for you, it's okay. Like, if it's going
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to make you a worse mom to be stressed out about this, don't worry about it. It's okay.
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And I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that he was going to be fine even if I didn't breastfeed
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because I needed to hear that he would be fine. Like, that was the thing I needed to know was
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that my baby was going to be fine. And I just needed to figure out what that looked like for
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us. So for me, I pushed through and I really wanted to breastfeed, but I also needed to know
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in the back of my head, okay, well, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. He will be fine.
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Number four is stop using apps. They will drive you crazy. Now, I actually do use an app right now just
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for myself for breastfeeding so that I can, like, figure out, okay, when does he need to eat?
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But in that first week, when they're eating on demand and you just need to feed them whenever
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they want, don't use apps. Don't track their diapers. Don't track their sleep. Don't track
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how much they're eating. It will drive you crazy because you're already so on edge. Just be there
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when the baby needs you. Feed him when he needs to be fed. Be as proactive as possible, but don't
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go to a place of becoming a baby administrator. I always talk about this, but you are not a baby
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administrator. You're a mom, and you just need to enjoy that first week. Now, you're not going to
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enjoy it a lot. You're sleep deprived, and your hormones are going crazy, but you're going to enjoy
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the aspect of him being with you, of this new baby. You're going to enjoy the loving and the
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snuggling, and that's so important. And so driving yourself up a wall so that you can make sure that
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everything is, like, spick and span in that first week, it's just not going to happen. You want to make
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it as flexible, as kind of random as possible. Whenever he needs you, you're there, which is all the
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day. It's all day, and that's okay. Now, newborns will sleep through some feeds if they're too tired, so you
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have to wake them up. But don't, like, get into your head about, oh, I need to make sure that he fed
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exactly 20 minutes on one side, or that he pooped eight times a day instead of seven or ten. Whatever
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it is, it's too much. It's too much information. You just need to be there for your baby, give him
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what he needs, and that is going to make you so much less of a stress ball. Last but not least, and this is
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what my lactation consultant told me, and it was such a nice thing to hear, is motherhood is fun. It is
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fun. It is so fun to be able to take care of your baby and enjoy your baby and just be a mom to this new
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person. Like, it is such an incredible thing. Just love on your baby and do what feels natural. You have an
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innate understanding of what you need to do for your baby. You really do. And once you realize that, once you
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accept that, you can enjoy motherhood so much more. I was so stressed about kind of trying to make sure
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everything fit into a box and also trying to return to a sense of normalcy, which is not going to happen for a
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little while, that it made me lose the fun and enjoyment of motherhood in those first couple of days. And I think it's so
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important to remember that motherhood is fun. It's fun to hang out with a little baby and hold him. And you holding him in
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that first week is not going to screw up his sleep schedule. And if he can't sleep, you know, in the crib well in the
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first couple of days in the bassinet, you'll figure it out. It will be okay. But motherhood is so fun. And it really is so
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special. And remembering that, telling yourself that, and I know that sounds weird, because in a moment where you're not having
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fun, you might think that someone telling you, oh, it should be fun would be overwhelming. But actually, it's a
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reminder. It's not a, it's not a scolding you. It's saying, no, don't you remember? Motherhood is so special and so
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much fun. And you should enjoy it. So those are the five lessons I learned in the first week of motherhood. I'm
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definitely going to go back to this video when I have my next baby, just as a reminder, because that first week
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is so overwhelming. I would love to know your thoughts in the comments. If you had a baby recently, or if you
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had a baby a long time ago, what are some lessons that you learned early on? What was the biggest shock
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to you? I'd love to know that. What was the biggest shock to you about motherhood? I hope you guys
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enjoyed today's video. Little man here did a great job sitting here. I did not expect him to make it this
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long. So thank you so much for watching. Make sure to subscribe to my channel if you haven't already and
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hit that notification bell. If you're not already subscribed to my Substack newsletter, make sure to head over
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there. And if you're not following me on social media, it's at classicallyabbie absolutely everywhere.
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Thank you so much for watching, and I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye!