Classically Abby - 5 Things To Know When You Become A MOM! ⧸⧸ Oh my gosh, the adjustment is REAL...

00:00:00.000 Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about

00:00:05.220 five lessons I learned in the first week of motherhood.

00:00:14.320 If you hear any noises in today's video, that would be my son. He is sitting next to me in his

00:00:20.880 chair. He needs to take a nap soon, but right now he's down here being super cute. But I'm

00:00:29.020 excited to get into today's video where we're going to be talking about five things I learned

00:00:33.380 in the first week of motherhood. Now that we're seven weeks away from having given birth, I feel

00:00:39.920 like I can talk about this with a little bit more of a clear head, but wow, the first week of motherhood

00:00:45.360 is hard. It is so much. It is a huge adjustment, and you're dealing with sleep deprivation, hormonal

00:00:54.140 changes. It is overwhelming, truly. And I remember I actually sat down with my phone. I was excited

00:01:00.800 because I thought, I'm going to talk about all of these things with my audience, hopefully help them

00:01:05.120 out. If you're feeling this way, know that it's normal. And if you are not a mother yet, give you

00:01:10.260 kind of a preview of what maybe you should expect. But I wrote down my thoughts for myself so that the

00:01:16.940 next time I have a baby, I can remember these things because it was a shock in many ways to me.

00:01:23.260 Before we get into today's video, if you are new here, we talk about traditional values and classic

00:01:29.360 living. And I would love if you would join us. So make sure to hit that subscribe button and hit

00:01:33.640 that notification bell. If you're not already subscribed to my Substack newsletter, you should

00:01:38.420 definitely check it out because you will get access to a ton of exclusive content and get to join our

00:01:43.740 wonderful community over there. It is awesome. You will get access to my podcast as well as weekly

00:01:48.820 articles and my book club. So definitely head over to classicallyabby.substack.com. But now let's get

00:01:55.600 into today's video. Hi, boobush. Choo-choo. Choo-choo face. The first lesson that I learned in the first

00:02:05.700 week of motherhood is that motherhood is much more practical than it is recreational. I had always

00:02:13.740 imagined that motherhood was going to be cute and fun and you're playing with your baby all the time

00:02:19.180 and you're just enjoying the newness of this newborn in your life. But motherhood, especially

00:02:27.720 at the beginning, is so much about keeping this person alive. And it is manual labor and it is

00:02:34.860 practical steps that you are taking in order to make sure that your baby gets what he or she needs.

00:02:40.660 So it's breastfeeding. It's putting them to sleep. It's changing their diapers. And it's not all about

00:02:48.780 snuggling and how cute this baby is and, oh, I can just play with him all day, although those things

00:02:54.800 are nice and fun. But really, in my mind, it was like, oh my gosh, I just need to keep him alive. And it's so

00:03:01.580 much work to do those things, even though it's just really three things that you're doing over and over

00:03:06.440 and over again. It's a lot to handle. And it takes a while, especially with a newborn, because

00:03:12.220 feeding is hard. Breastfeeding is so hard. I'm still in the process of that. And then putting 0.99

00:03:17.780 them to sleep, not easy. Babies don't always want to be put to sleep, so that can be a process.

00:03:22.460 And changing their diaper, that's easy, but it can be an adventure when you are in the middle of

00:03:27.260 changing diapers and all of a sudden more fluids are flowing than you expected as you are changing the

00:03:32.360 diaper. So, you know, I think that a big lesson for me was it's a lot more work than you anticipate,

00:03:38.620 in a sense. You think about the big picture stuff of it being hard and it being work, but you don't

00:03:44.940 picture the day-to-day of just, is this boy getting what he needs from me? Is he getting food? Like,

00:03:51.120 that is a huge stressor. Oh my gosh. The food thing, the breastfeeding thing is the, I would say,

00:03:55.820 the biggest stressor. But it's just, how is this boy going to survive? And it's all on me and my

00:04:00.620 husband. So, you know, I think that recognizing early on that it was so much more about the

00:04:07.540 practical aspect of motherhood than it was about the recreational part was a hard lesson for me.

00:04:13.160 And then once I figured that out, it sort of, it started to even out a bit. Number two is that even

00:04:19.980 though motherhood is practical, you need to make sure that you are loving on your baby in that first

00:04:27.020 week. I really struggled with this at the beginning. I felt like all I was doing was these practical

00:04:34.340 things, this putting the baby to sleep, feeding him, and changing his diaper. And then anytime I

00:04:40.500 wasn't doing that, I was told I needed to go sleep because I wasn't really going to be sleeping in the

00:04:46.700 night and I need to get my sleep so I can be a good mom. But the problem is, is that in that first

00:04:51.700 week, your hormones are crazy. I could not sleep at all. And so I felt like anytime I would have spent

00:04:59.440 with my baby in a fun, recreational, loving, snuggly way, I was supposed to go off and sleep at myself.

00:05:07.120 And I hated it. I remember coming to my mom who was holding the baby while I was trying to nap and

00:05:12.000 failing at it. And I said, I'm really jealous of you. You get to hold the baby. You get to enjoy the baby.

00:05:17.660 And I just have to go in the other room. Like, what the heck? So one of the things that I really 0.85

00:05:22.760 highly recommend is in that first week, love on your baby, snuggle your baby, and assume you're

00:05:28.880 not going to sleep when the baby sleeps. If you can, awesome. But if you can't, don't drive yourself

00:05:34.280 crazy because I really did. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not sleeping. This is so stressful.

00:05:38.960 And one of the things that I needed to realize and do was hold the baby when he sleeps.

00:05:46.040 And sometimes it's okay to sleep with the baby next to you. Now I always had someone in the room

00:05:52.620 with me because I didn't feel safe, just me alone with the baby. But I would have somebody in there

00:05:58.220 while I slept next to the baby and I held him. And it was so nice. That was really the only way I

00:06:03.280 could sleep was if he was sleeping next to me during the day. God bless you. God bless you. So it was

00:06:10.940 really important for me to recognize that it's not just about those practical things. The first part

00:06:18.120 is recognizing how much of motherhood is practical. But the second part is now that you know that,

00:06:23.600 you have to infuse in the snuggles and the love and the enjoyment of your newborn. And so holding the

00:06:30.020 baby whenever you can, not stressing yourself out about scheduling. I was really stressed about

00:06:37.680 the scheduling early on. And honestly, it's just not going to happen that quickly. Now we are on a

00:06:44.720 very good schedule now. And I know that some women don't get on a schedule or try to get their babies 1.00

00:06:49.040 on a schedule for a long time. But we actually did do that, which was amazing. But in that first week,

00:06:54.240 nothing is going to go to plan. And the idea of just do this or just do that is not a thing.

00:07:01.260 The baby's going to do what he needs to do and what he wants to do. So just going with the flow.

00:07:05.880 That is very much, very much part of new motherhood. Number three is breastfeeding is only as important 1.00

00:07:13.600 as you make it. Oh my gosh. So the first couple of days with my baby boy, he did great at the breast

00:07:21.580 and it was fine. And then my milk came in and I got so engorged that he could not latch. For an entire

00:07:27.860 day, he could not latch. And eventually I had to pump and give him a bottle because he could not get

00:07:32.820 anything from me. I was really stressed about this, as you might imagine, because you think

00:07:37.780 I'm the only way that this boy is going to get any sort of sustenance. And that is such an

00:07:43.660 overwhelming reality. You need to get your baby food. Fed is best. You know, I think we, most of

00:07:51.520 us believe this now, but fed is best. And if he's not getting it from you, you can always use formula.

00:07:56.540 You can always pump and give him a bottle. There are ways that he will be fine. Don't put the

00:08:03.060 pressure on yourself that you have to breastfeed immediately so that he can survive. I love

00:08:09.660 breastfeeding and I think it's really important. And I've worked really hard to get to a place where

00:08:13.220 we can do it, even though our breastfeeding journey is a little bit different. You know,

00:08:18.140 I have to use a nipple shield right now. I have to pump off the first ounce on each breast 1.00

00:08:22.100 because I have too much foremilk. So it is a little bit more complicated. But early on,

00:08:27.500 I think that it was really important when my lactation consultant, who I'm obsessed with,

00:08:31.560 I love her, said to me, you know, if breastfeeding isn't for you, it's okay. Like, if it's going 0.93

00:08:37.420 to make you a worse mom to be stressed out about this, don't worry about it. It's okay.

00:08:43.620 And I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that he was going to be fine even if I didn't breastfeed

00:08:51.580 because I needed to hear that he would be fine. Like, that was the thing I needed to know was

00:08:56.260 that my baby was going to be fine. And I just needed to figure out what that looked like for

00:09:01.340 us. So for me, I pushed through and I really wanted to breastfeed, but I also needed to know

00:09:05.900 in the back of my head, okay, well, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. He will be fine.

00:09:09.700 Number four is stop using apps. They will drive you crazy. Now, I actually do use an app right now just

00:09:18.560 for myself for breastfeeding so that I can, like, figure out, okay, when does he need to eat?

00:09:22.960 But in that first week, when they're eating on demand and you just need to feed them whenever

00:09:28.760 they want, don't use apps. Don't track their diapers. Don't track their sleep. Don't track

00:09:35.620 how much they're eating. It will drive you crazy because you're already so on edge. Just be there

00:09:42.820 when the baby needs you. Feed him when he needs to be fed. Be as proactive as possible, but don't

00:09:48.480 go to a place of becoming a baby administrator. I always talk about this, but you are not a baby

00:09:55.020 administrator. You're a mom, and you just need to enjoy that first week. Now, you're not going to

00:10:00.800 enjoy it a lot. You're sleep deprived, and your hormones are going crazy, but you're going to enjoy

00:10:06.720 the aspect of him being with you, of this new baby. You're going to enjoy the loving and the

00:10:12.000 snuggling, and that's so important. And so driving yourself up a wall so that you can make sure that

00:10:19.020 everything is, like, spick and span in that first week, it's just not going to happen. You want to make

00:10:24.540 it as flexible, as kind of random as possible. Whenever he needs you, you're there, which is all the

00:10:31.160 day. It's all day, and that's okay. Now, newborns will sleep through some feeds if they're too tired, so you

00:10:36.680 have to wake them up. But don't, like, get into your head about, oh, I need to make sure that he fed

00:10:44.240 exactly 20 minutes on one side, or that he pooped eight times a day instead of seven or ten. Whatever

00:10:50.720 it is, it's too much. It's too much information. You just need to be there for your baby, give him

00:10:56.940 what he needs, and that is going to make you so much less of a stress ball. Last but not least, and this is

00:11:02.620 what my lactation consultant told me, and it was such a nice thing to hear, is motherhood is fun. It is

00:11:09.780 fun. It is so fun to be able to take care of your baby and enjoy your baby and just be a mom to this new

00:11:19.120 person. Like, it is such an incredible thing. Just love on your baby and do what feels natural. You have an

00:11:25.980 innate understanding of what you need to do for your baby. You really do. And once you realize that, once you

00:11:31.660 accept that, you can enjoy motherhood so much more. I was so stressed about kind of trying to make sure

00:11:38.340 everything fit into a box and also trying to return to a sense of normalcy, which is not going to happen for a

00:11:44.860 little while, that it made me lose the fun and enjoyment of motherhood in those first couple of days. And I think it's so

00:11:52.080 important to remember that motherhood is fun. It's fun to hang out with a little baby and hold him. And you holding him in

00:11:58.620 that first week is not going to screw up his sleep schedule. And if he can't sleep, you know, in the crib well in the

00:12:05.000 first couple of days in the bassinet, you'll figure it out. It will be okay. But motherhood is so fun. And it really is so

00:12:11.780 special. And remembering that, telling yourself that, and I know that sounds weird, because in a moment where you're not having

00:12:18.260 fun, you might think that someone telling you, oh, it should be fun would be overwhelming. But actually, it's a

00:12:23.560 reminder. It's not a, it's not a scolding you. It's saying, no, don't you remember? Motherhood is so special and so

00:12:32.020 much fun. And you should enjoy it. So those are the five lessons I learned in the first week of motherhood. I'm

00:12:37.400 definitely going to go back to this video when I have my next baby, just as a reminder, because that first week

00:12:44.220 is so overwhelming. I would love to know your thoughts in the comments. If you had a baby recently, or if you

00:12:49.260 had a baby a long time ago, what are some lessons that you learned early on? What was the biggest shock

00:12:53.560 to you? I'd love to know that. What was the biggest shock to you about motherhood? I hope you guys

00:12:58.060 enjoyed today's video. Little man here did a great job sitting here. I did not expect him to make it this

00:13:02.800 long. So thank you so much for watching. Make sure to subscribe to my channel if you haven't already and

00:13:06.620 hit that notification bell. If you're not already subscribed to my Substack newsletter, make sure to head over

00:13:10.700 there. And if you're not following me on social media, it's at classicallyabbie absolutely everywhere. 0.81

00:13:15.020 Thank you so much for watching, and I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye!

Classically Abby - May 25, 2022

5 Things To Know When You Become A MOM! ⧸⧸ Oh my gosh, the adjustment is REAL...

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript