5 Ways To Be A Better HUSBAND ｜｜ Here's some marriage advice to make your wife HAPPIER!
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Summary
5 Ways to be a Better Husband and Wife by Gary Vaynerchuck - 5 Ways to Be a Better Wife 1. Clean up after yourself 2. Listen to your wife's concerns without immediately arguing with them 3. Communication 4. Keep the house clean 5. Be a better husband
Transcript
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Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
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So I recently did a video on my channel all about five ways to be a better wife, and I
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said in that video, this isn't just for women, this is for men and women, that both partners
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in a marriage have to be really invested in being the best partner that they can to their
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spouse, because that's the only way that a marriage stays fresh, stays healthy, is when
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both partners are really taking the time to be as good of a partner as they can and keeping
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You constantly have to be checking in with each other and doing your best to be the best
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So I'm really excited to share these five ways for you to be a better husband, so let's get
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So number one is sort of a clever life hack, but it also is something that's going to
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make you a better husband, and that is to constantly be cleaning up after yourself and
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So a lot of men, it's not that they don't help with the chores, it's that they let the
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They don't really realize that if they don't put their dishes in the sink or if they take
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off their jacket and throw it over a chair, it doesn't really help with the chores because
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you're going to have to go back later and put it away.
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And the house will start to build up in a mess if you don't kind of keep track of these
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So for you to be a better husband and to help out your wife by not only helping with the
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chores, but many women, not all women, but many women are more clean than men, and so
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So even if you are helping with the chores, if you're kind of leaving it all to the weekend,
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for example, and you're not really helping to keep the house clean during the week just
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by living more cleanly, then it can be hard to kind of live in because the house is constantly
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So what this comes down to is just sort of easily cleaning up after yourself.
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If you eat a snack, whatever you take out, put away.
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If you take off your shoes at the front door, don't throw them everywhere.
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Even if you are constantly helping with the chores, if you wash the dishes or you vacuum,
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if you don't take care of those things regularly and you kind of let those things build up,
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it is going to lead to a big mess that both of you are going to have to clean.
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And so you being the kind of man who kind of has developed a more clean outlook and starts
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to put things away more, and just as you are living, you are also being clean, if that
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As you are eating off a plate, you're also going to put that plate in the dishwasher.
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And it doesn't take any time for you to do these things.
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It's just something that, if you put into practice, will create a better living situation
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One, because the house is cleaner generally, and second, because your wife, if she's the
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one cleaning, won't have to clean up after your messes as often.
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And so those kinds of things will really make the two of you happier as a team, is if the
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house is just in a better state more of the time.
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And you being a cleanlier person will reflect on the state of your home.
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Number two is listen to your wife's concerns without immediately arguing with them.
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A lot of the time, your wife will come to you with a problem, and it's not even about
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It might just be about something that's upsetting her.
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And it's easy to get your kind of hackles up and feel like she's nagging.
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It may be just that she's stressed about bills.
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It could even be that, or it could be something that is a little bit more about your behavior
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and your relationship, and her really wanting to work on it with you.
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But if you immediately get your hackles up, then that conversation and that communication
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And it's so easy to read a wife's intentions as nagging, as opposed to realizing that she
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really is trying to work with you to make the marriage better.
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And I know that it is something that does happen with many women.
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But let's assume that the majority of the time that isn't the case.
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Because your wife loves you, and you love her, and that's why the two of you got married.
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And usually when your wife is coming to you with a problem, it's because she does want
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Now, I'm going to put a caveat there, because I'm not talking about when your wife comes to
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Because often that's the kind of situation where you should just listen and not offer
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resolutions, because she may not need a solution to that problem.
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I'm talking about when she comes to you with a problem that can be solved between the two
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of you, or in your home life, or something like that.
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And trying to just recognize that your wife has come to you for a reason, and that the two
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of you love each other, will stop you from going into debate mode, and keep those lines
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This is something that I absolutely love about my husband.
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If I come to him with a concern or a problem, he really does take the time to listen to what
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I'm saying, and it makes me feel so loved, so heard.
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It makes our marriage better, because I feel like I can really come to him with these problems.
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And I don't ever feel nervous to approach him about anything, because I'm not nervous he's
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I know he'll just listen first, so that we can resolve it.
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And I feel like our marriage is so much better for that.
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So trusting that when your wife comes to you with a problem, that she's not trying to upset
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you or bother you, most of the time, I won't say 100% of the time, but most of the time,
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And if you immediately argue with her, then that issue is not going to get resolved.
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It's so much better for you to listen to your wife with an open mind.
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Number three is give your wife compliments randomly.
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In the same way that a man can't read a woman's mind, and often women will hope that a certain
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scenario will play out in a certain way, but their husband doesn't even know what's happening,
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if you think that your wife looks beautiful every day and you don't say it, she won't know.
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And the way that men need respect, women need love.
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So hearing your compliments will constantly remind your wife how much you love her and how much
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you're attracted to her, two things that are incredibly important for a marriage.
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And if you're constantly saying, wow, you look really beautiful tonight, or I really
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appreciate that the house is clean, or I loved dinner tonight, all of those things will make
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your wife feel loved and make her feel grateful that she's married to you.
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She can't read your mind if you don't express your feelings and your love for her, and she's
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not going to know how often those thoughts do pass through your mind.
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You want to keep up your wife's morale, because think about it like this, if your wife meets a
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guy, now I'm going to cut this off right at the beginning by saying I'm not talking about cheating
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or anything like that, but if your wife meets a man and he thinks that she's fun and attractive
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and he's trying to flirt with her, he's going to say all these things because he just met her
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And you don't feel like you have to say those things because you've been married for a while
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and you think she knows, think about that, because you should be the same way as a guy
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who's flirting with her and who just met her, because she might end up hearing that stuff
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Is that going to fundamentally change your relationship?
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No, but it is nice for a woman to feel flirted with, and she doesn't need to be flirted with
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So constantly saying these lovely things and loving things and compliments and giving her
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kind of a morale boost is something that's going to keep your marriage really strong and
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Number four is make the special occasions special.
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Women love to brag about their husbands and share how much their husbands love them and
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tell them about how, oh, my anniversary was amazing.
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My husband surprised me by taking me out to this great meal and then he bought me a beautiful
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Women love to share and brag about how wonderful their husbands are.
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When I say brag, I don't mean in a mean way or anything like that.
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I just mean that they like to show off the man that they ended up with.
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And they like to know that their husbands celebrate these events as much as they do.
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So making an event of those big occasions, your anniversary, Valentine's Day, your birthdays,
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whatever it is, the things that you both value, it will make your marriage feel that much
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And it doesn't mean that it has to be my description of a fancy event.
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It means figure out what works for the two of you.
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If both of you guys love to have picnics, surprise her with a picnic for your anniversary and
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go out to some beautiful park or beach that the two of you absolutely love.
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Or maybe the both of you love a certain band and they're in town during your anniversary,
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Not during the pandemic, but generally otherwise.
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Doing something special that would really make her feel like you are so excited to celebrate
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But these are the times that you have control over the memories that you make.
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And being romantic is really important when you're married to one person for hopefully
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I'll never forget that the first year that Jacob and I got married, he surprised me for
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And essentially what he did was he got all of his friends to surprise me with a giant
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birthday cake as I was just sitting in the library at his law school.
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And all of a sudden, all of these people were walking down the hallway singing happy birthday,
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And it was just a whole plan that he had made up.
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You can do something that your wife will absolutely love and cherish.
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Jacob and I are really lucky because the two of us have great relationships with each other's
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But very often a husband can have tension with his in-laws.
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And he has a hard time getting along with his wife's parents.
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And I specifically remember that before I met Jacob, I dated a few guys who did not get
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along with my family and did not put in an effort to.
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And it really soured things between us because I absolutely adore my family.
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And I knew how important it would be for me to end up with somebody who loved my family
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and could get along with them because I want my family in my life.
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And I don't want that tension between my husband and my parents and my siblings.
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So when Jacob came into the picture and he met my parents and he met my family, he slotted
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And obviously that has worked out for the rest of our marriage because he and my parents
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love to talk to each other even when I'm not around.
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And I am the same way actually with his parents.
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I will call his dad, his mom, and just chat with them because I love them.
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And it makes our lives so much easier that the two of us work hard but also just enjoy
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But we really did put in effort early on to make sure that those familial relationships
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So my recommendation to you is make your wife's life easier by trying to get along with her
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Now that doesn't mean being a pushover if they're not respecting you, if they're not working
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with the family well, then you don't have to just kind of be a pushover.
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But what I'm saying is in the situations where there's a disagreement but it's not going to
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affect anybody's life, just let the disagreement go.
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Just say that you disagree and then change the subject.
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And when you do that, if you put in the effort, if you try and find the positives, you may
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find that you have a relationship with your in-laws that you never would have expected.
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And because I am such a big proponent of really investing time in family, I think this one
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is really important because most women would like their parents and their lives to help
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out and to help with the kids as they're growing.
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And it will mean a lot to your wife if you put in that effort.
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So those were my five ways to be a better husband.
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Let me know in the comments if you have any tips that I didn't touch on today.
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