Classically Abby - 5 Ways To Be A Better HUSBAND ｜｜ Here's some marriage advice to make your wife HAPPIER!

00:00:00.000 Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about

00:00:04.880 five ways to be a better husband.

00:00:09.920 So I recently did a video on my channel all about five ways to be a better wife, and I

00:00:15.780 said in that video, this isn't just for women, this is for men and women, that both partners

00:00:20.460 in a marriage have to be really invested in being the best partner that they can to their

00:00:26.060 spouse, because that's the only way that a marriage stays fresh, stays healthy, is when

00:00:30.620 both partners are really taking the time to be as good of a partner as they can and keeping

00:00:36.440 the other person happy.

00:00:37.620 You constantly have to be checking in with each other and doing your best to be the best

00:00:41.640 husband or wife.

00:00:42.600 So I'm really excited to share these five ways for you to be a better husband, so let's get

00:00:46.960 into it.

00:00:47.520 So number one is sort of a clever life hack, but it also is something that's going to

00:00:52.080 make you a better husband, and that is to constantly be cleaning up after yourself and

00:00:57.160 just living in a more cleanly way.

00:01:00.040 So a lot of men, it's not that they don't help with the chores, it's that they let the

00:01:04.600 house build up in a mess.

00:01:06.800 They don't really realize that if they don't put their dishes in the sink or if they take

00:01:11.220 off their jacket and throw it over a chair, it doesn't really help with the chores because

00:01:16.460 you're going to have to go back later and put it away.

00:01:18.820 And the house will start to build up in a mess if you don't kind of keep track of these

00:01:22.980 things.

00:01:23.840 So for you to be a better husband and to help out your wife by not only helping with the

00:01:28.140 chores, but many women, not all women, but many women are more clean than men, and so 0.75

00:01:34.080 they will not like living in a dirty house.

00:01:36.440 So even if you are helping with the chores, if you're kind of leaving it all to the weekend,

00:01:41.200 for example, and you're not really helping to keep the house clean during the week just

00:01:45.540 by living more cleanly, then it can be hard to kind of live in because the house is constantly

00:01:50.920 messy.

00:01:52.280 So what this comes down to is just sort of easily cleaning up after yourself.

00:01:57.640 If you eat a snack, whatever you take out, put away.

00:02:00.560 Put the dishes in the sink.

00:02:02.020 If you take off your shoes at the front door, don't throw them everywhere.

00:02:05.800 Even if you are constantly helping with the chores, if you wash the dishes or you vacuum,

00:02:10.700 if you don't take care of those things regularly and you kind of let those things build up,

00:02:16.960 it is going to lead to a big mess that both of you are going to have to clean.

00:02:21.300 And so you being the kind of man who kind of has developed a more clean outlook and starts

00:02:28.100 to put things away more, and just as you are living, you are also being clean, if that

00:02:34.280 makes sense.

00:02:34.980 As you are eating off a plate, you're also going to put that plate in the dishwasher.

00:02:38.960 And it doesn't take any time for you to do these things.

00:02:42.000 It's just something that, if you put into practice, will create a better living situation

00:02:46.340 for both of you.

00:02:47.660 One, because the house is cleaner generally, and second, because your wife, if she's the 1.00

00:02:52.320 one cleaning, won't have to clean up after your messes as often.

00:02:55.860 And so those kinds of things will really make the two of you happier as a team, is if the

00:03:01.460 house is just in a better state more of the time.

00:03:05.000 And you being a cleanlier person will reflect on the state of your home.

00:03:09.680 Number two is listen to your wife's concerns without immediately arguing with them.

00:03:13.880 It all comes down to communication.

00:03:16.220 A lot of the time, your wife will come to you with a problem, and it's not even about 0.59

00:03:20.760 you.

00:03:21.420 It might just be about something that's upsetting her.

00:03:24.560 And it's easy to get your kind of hackles up and feel like she's nagging.

00:03:28.740 It may be just that she's stressed about bills.

00:03:30.580 It could even be that, or it could be something that is a little bit more about your behavior

00:03:34.900 and your relationship, and her really wanting to work on it with you.

00:03:38.860 But if you immediately get your hackles up, then that conversation and that communication

00:03:42.740 is going to break down immediately.

00:03:45.420 And it's so easy to read a wife's intentions as nagging, as opposed to realizing that she 0.98

00:03:53.380 really is trying to work with you to make the marriage better.

00:03:57.520 Now, that's not always the case.

00:03:58.560 There are times when women nag. 1.00

00:04:00.120 It happens.

00:04:00.880 I've been there.

00:04:01.540 I've done it.

00:04:02.400 And I know that it is something that does happen with many women. 0.98

00:04:06.200 But let's assume that the majority of the time that isn't the case.

00:04:09.960 Because your wife loves you, and you love her, and that's why the two of you got married.

00:04:13.880 And usually when your wife is coming to you with a problem, it's because she does want 0.97

00:04:18.760 to solve it.

00:04:19.520 Now, I'm going to put a caveat there, because I'm not talking about when your wife comes to 0.94

00:04:23.560 you with her own problems. 0.88

00:04:24.980 Because often that's the kind of situation where you should just listen and not offer

00:04:28.940 resolutions, because she may not need a solution to that problem. 0.99

00:04:32.120 I'm talking about when she comes to you with a problem that can be solved between the two

00:04:37.180 of you, or in your home life, or something like that.

00:04:40.420 And trying to just recognize that your wife has come to you for a reason, and that the two

00:04:45.640 of you love each other, will stop you from going into debate mode, and keep those lines

00:04:50.100 of communication open.

00:04:51.440 This is something that I absolutely love about my husband.

00:04:54.940 Jacob is such a good listener.

00:04:57.200 If I come to him with a concern or a problem, he really does take the time to listen to what

00:05:03.200 I'm saying, and it makes me feel so loved, so heard.

00:05:06.900 It makes our marriage better, because I feel like I can really come to him with these problems.

00:05:11.860 And I don't ever feel nervous to approach him about anything, because I'm not nervous he's

00:05:16.140 going to get upset or argue with me.

00:05:18.400 I know he'll just listen first, so that we can resolve it.

00:05:22.500 And I feel like our marriage is so much better for that.

00:05:25.180 So trusting that when your wife comes to you with a problem, that she's not trying to upset

00:05:29.940 you or bother you, most of the time, I won't say 100% of the time, but most of the time,

00:05:35.140 she really is trying to resolve an issue. 0.59

00:05:38.300 And if you immediately argue with her, then that issue is not going to get resolved.

00:05:42.200 It's so much better for you to listen to your wife with an open mind.

00:05:45.220 Number three is give your wife compliments randomly.

00:05:48.980 If you think something, say it out loud.

00:05:51.580 In the same way that a man can't read a woman's mind, and often women will hope that a certain 0.99

00:05:56.000 scenario will play out in a certain way, but their husband doesn't even know what's happening,

00:05:59.940 if you think that your wife looks beautiful every day and you don't say it, she won't know.

00:06:05.880 And the way that men need respect, women need love.

00:06:08.940 So hearing your compliments will constantly remind your wife how much you love her and how much

00:06:13.340 you're attracted to her, two things that are incredibly important for a marriage.

00:06:16.560 And if you're constantly saying, wow, you look really beautiful tonight, or I really

00:06:20.460 appreciate that the house is clean, or I loved dinner tonight, all of those things will make

00:06:26.640 your wife feel loved and make her feel grateful that she's married to you.

00:06:32.040 She can't read your mind if you don't express your feelings and your love for her, and she's

00:06:36.240 not going to know how often those thoughts do pass through your mind.

00:06:39.560 You want to keep up your wife's morale, because think about it like this, if your wife meets a

00:06:44.560 guy, now I'm going to cut this off right at the beginning by saying I'm not talking about cheating

00:06:49.900 or anything like that, but if your wife meets a man and he thinks that she's fun and attractive

00:06:56.300 and he's trying to flirt with her, he's going to say all these things because he just met her

00:07:00.620 and he's trying to flirt.

00:07:02.520 And you don't feel like you have to say those things because you've been married for a while

00:07:06.520 and you think she knows, think about that, because you should be the same way as a guy

00:07:12.700 who's flirting with her and who just met her, because she might end up hearing that stuff 0.91

00:07:16.680 from another person.

00:07:17.720 Is that going to fundamentally change your relationship?

00:07:20.660 No, but it is nice for a woman to feel flirted with, and she doesn't need to be flirted with 1.00

00:07:26.200 by someone new.

00:07:27.360 She can be flirted with by you. 0.99

00:07:29.300 So constantly saying these lovely things and loving things and compliments and giving her

00:07:34.520 kind of a morale boost is something that's going to keep your marriage really strong and

00:07:39.940 make her know how much you do love her.

00:07:42.200 Number four is make the special occasions special.

00:07:45.760 Women love to brag about their husbands and share how much their husbands love them and 0.75

00:07:50.680 tell them about how, oh, my anniversary was amazing.

00:07:53.680 My husband surprised me by taking me out to this great meal and then he bought me a beautiful

00:07:58.200 necklace, whatever it is.

00:07:59.940 Women love to share and brag about how wonderful their husbands are. 0.99

00:08:04.720 When I say brag, I don't mean in a mean way or anything like that.

00:08:07.420 I just mean that they like to show off the man that they ended up with.

00:08:11.620 And they like to know that their husbands celebrate these events as much as they do.

00:08:16.080 So making an event of those big occasions, your anniversary, Valentine's Day, your birthdays,

00:08:21.860 whatever it is, the things that you both value, it will make your marriage feel that much

00:08:27.300 stronger.

00:08:28.320 And it doesn't mean that it has to be my description of a fancy event.

00:08:33.320 It means figure out what works for the two of you.

00:08:35.560 If both of you guys love to have picnics, surprise her with a picnic for your anniversary and

00:08:39.940 go out to some beautiful park or beach that the two of you absolutely love.

00:08:44.220 Or maybe the both of you love a certain band and they're in town during your anniversary,

00:08:47.820 go into a concert.

00:08:48.840 Not during the pandemic, but generally otherwise.

00:08:53.060 Doing something special that would really make her feel like you are so excited to celebrate

00:08:59.260 this day with her.

00:09:00.200 But these are the times that you have control over the memories that you make.

00:09:04.740 And being romantic is really important when you're married to one person for hopefully

00:09:09.640 a very, very long time.

00:09:11.240 Your whole life.

00:09:11.940 I'll never forget that the first year that Jacob and I got married, he surprised me for

00:09:16.420 my birthday big time.

00:09:18.420 And essentially what he did was he got all of his friends to surprise me with a giant

00:09:23.740 birthday cake as I was just sitting in the library at his law school.

00:09:27.740 And I had no idea what was coming.

00:09:29.800 And all of a sudden, all of these people were walking down the hallway singing happy birthday,

00:09:33.640 holding a giant cake.

00:09:34.620 And it was all of our friends.

00:09:35.600 And it was so sweet, so kind.

00:09:39.440 And then he surprised me with a few gifts.

00:09:41.360 And it was just a whole plan that he had made up.

00:09:44.220 And that is a memory I will never forget.

00:09:46.440 And it showed me how much he cared about me.

00:09:48.940 I've never gotten a surprise before like that.

00:09:51.380 So that was just really meaningful.

00:09:54.140 And you can be the same way.

00:09:55.980 You can do something that your wife will absolutely love and cherish.

00:10:00.200 A memory that she will hold on to forever.

00:10:02.780 Number five is be kind to your in-laws.

00:10:06.000 Jacob and I are really lucky because the two of us have great relationships with each other's

00:10:10.280 parents.

00:10:11.200 But very often a husband can have tension with his in-laws.

00:10:15.680 And he has a hard time getting along with his wife's parents.

00:10:18.440 And I specifically remember that before I met Jacob, I dated a few guys who did not get

00:10:23.680 along with my family and did not put in an effort to.

00:10:26.260 And it really soured things between us because I absolutely adore my family.

00:10:29.620 And I knew how important it would be for me to end up with somebody who loved my family

00:10:34.060 and could get along with them because I want my family in my life.

00:10:37.420 And I don't want that tension between my husband and my parents and my siblings.

00:10:41.640 So when Jacob came into the picture and he met my parents and he met my family, he slotted

00:10:47.340 in so well.

00:10:48.640 He made an effort to get along with everybody.

00:10:51.040 And it meant so much to me.

00:10:53.600 And obviously that has worked out for the rest of our marriage because he and my parents

00:10:59.200 love to talk to each other even when I'm not around.

00:11:02.460 And I am the same way actually with his parents.

00:11:04.920 I will call his dad, his mom, and just chat with them because I love them.

00:11:08.840 And it makes our lives so much easier that the two of us work hard but also just enjoy

00:11:15.020 each other's parents.

00:11:15.920 But we really did put in effort early on to make sure that those familial relationships

00:11:20.840 were strong.

00:11:21.840 So my recommendation to you is make your wife's life easier by trying to get along with her 1.00

00:11:26.640 parents.

00:11:27.380 Now that doesn't mean being a pushover if they're not respecting you, if they're not working

00:11:31.860 with the family well, then you don't have to just kind of be a pushover.

00:11:36.520 But what I'm saying is in the situations where there's a disagreement but it's not going to

00:11:42.200 affect anybody's life, just let the disagreement go.

00:11:45.600 Just let the disagreement fly away.

00:11:47.640 Just say that you disagree and then change the subject.

00:11:50.880 Don't allow yourself to pick fights.

00:11:53.700 And when you do that, if you put in the effort, if you try and find the positives, you may

00:11:59.280 find that you have a relationship with your in-laws that you never would have expected.

00:12:02.720 And your wife will appreciate that.

00:12:05.180 And because I am such a big proponent of really investing time in family, I think this one

00:12:10.300 is really important because most women would like their parents and their lives to help 1.00

00:12:14.240 out and to help with the kids as they're growing.

00:12:16.620 And it will mean a lot to your wife if you put in that effort.

00:12:20.740 So those were my five ways to be a better husband.

00:12:24.300 Let me know in the comments if you have any tips that I didn't touch on today.

00:12:27.580 I'd love to hear your thoughts.

00:12:29.220 Thank you so much for watching today's video.

00:12:31.360 Please subscribe to my channel and blog if you haven't already.

00:12:34.560 Head over to my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and follow me there.

00:12:37.780 Hit that notification bell to get notified of all my new videos.

00:12:40.400 Hit that like button.

00:12:41.640 Please head over to classicallyabby.locals.com if you'd like to support my channel, see more

00:12:45.500 of this content and be part of our community, and I'll see you guys in my next video.

00:12:49.780 Bye!

Classically Abby - October 12, 2020

5 Ways To Be A Better HUSBAND ｜｜ Here's some marriage advice to make your wife HAPPIER!

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript