5 Ways To Be A Better Wife! ｜｜ Treat your husband the way you would want to be treated 💙
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
210.2488
Summary
Being a better wife is so important because it's about being a good partner to the person you love and the person that you love. Being a good spouse is about being intentional in the way that you treat your spouse and being intentional about doing your best to be the best partner that you can be.
Transcript
00:00:00.080
Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
00:00:10.560
Being a better wife is so important because it's about being a good partner to the man that you
00:00:16.000
love. When you meet the man that you want to marry there's a lot of it that's just fun and easy and
00:00:21.280
oh you enjoy spending time together oh you have kind of ideas for your future but there are certain
00:00:27.360
things you really can do to be a better partner and to be kind of more intentional in the way that
00:00:33.600
you treat your spouse and I do want to address that I'm planning on doing a video on five ways
00:00:38.080
to be a better husband as well but all of this is obviously based on the idea that you're both doing
00:00:43.120
your best to be a good spouse it's not just about one person being better and the other one not
00:00:47.520
improving it's not just about women being good wives while men don't have to do anything both
00:00:52.960
partners really have to put in the time and effort to be the best spouse to the person that they
00:00:58.080
love and of course that's what you want to do when you get married you want to be good to the person
00:01:03.120
that loves you and who you love this shouldn't be a huge ask for you to actually want to be better
00:01:08.880
and give a better life to your partner because if you are keeping them in mind then they're going
00:01:13.280
to have a better life and the same goes for you hopefully they're going to be keeping you in mind as
00:01:17.760
well i would assume that's the case if you chose to marry them so i'm really excited to get into
00:01:22.720
five tips for being a better wife so let's get into it my first tip is a basic one and that is
00:01:29.280
communicate i find that with myself there's sort of a tendency to have an imaginary version of things
00:01:37.280
where you think that oh i'm gonna walk in the house and i'm gonna have a new dress on and my hair
00:01:41.920
is going to be done and my husband is definitely going to notice and then as soon as he doesn't
00:01:47.120
you're disappointed or if you clean the house and you put in a lot of effort and your husband
00:01:50.960
isn't necessarily the type to notice clutter in the first place he may not necessarily notice and
00:01:56.880
you've imagined the scenario where he comes in and he thinks wow oh my gosh it's amazing and he gives
00:02:01.280
you a big hug and a kiss and maybe he just doesn't notice and again you're disappointed your husband
00:02:06.080
can't read your mind and it's not fair to ask him to try it's okay to give him an idea of things
00:02:12.880
that you'd like him to recognize in the future but asking him to read your mind without any sort
00:02:18.000
of guidance is just unfair and it's only going to be a breeding ground for arguments so the haircut
00:02:23.840
and the dress thing i think that that's a little bit hard you can't kind of say hard and fast rule i
00:02:27.760
want you to notice when i get my hair done because how would he know but the idea of okay when you come
00:02:34.960
home if you notice that the house is clean i would love it if you recognized it and you gave me a big hug
00:02:39.840
and you thanked me you know that kind of thing just giving him some guidance about what would make
00:02:44.720
you happy because that's what he wants he wants to make you happy and then even more than that you
00:02:50.160
should always tell him what you feel when you're feeling it in the sense of if he upsets you if he
00:02:56.000
does something that upsets you don't let that just percolate and become worse over time immediately
00:03:02.080
bring it up and immediately tell him that he did something that upset you because if you do bring it up
00:03:07.920
as it happens you're not going to be letting it build up and then all of a sudden all of these
00:03:12.720
emotions come to the surface and the communication just totally breaks down if you bring it up in the
00:03:17.920
moment then you'll be able to actually have that conversation more calmly and you'll actually get
00:03:23.680
more accomplished because he'll be able to hear you rather than trying to sort through kind of all of
00:03:29.280
the emotions that you're throwing at him he'll be able to hear why you're upset not that you're upset
00:03:35.200
if that makes sense and what goes into this is don't let your emotions run away with you because
00:03:41.520
the fact of the matter is you should know that your husband loves you that's why you married him
00:03:45.280
that's why he married you so if you always keep that in mind then even when he upsets you you're not
00:03:50.800
going to think that he did that for a malicious reason that he doesn't like you and he wants to hurt
00:03:54.880
your feelings he may have done something unthinking he may have done something that he didn't mean to
00:03:59.680
do or that he hurt you without even realizing and so you realizing that okay that wasn't coming from
00:04:05.280
a malicious place that was most likely accidental then you can actually be more calm about the whole
00:04:12.160
scenario and you can still approach it from a place of love and the communication is still very strong
00:04:17.680
always giving your husband the benefit of the doubt will prevent tension from building up between you
00:04:22.320
so keeping the lines of communication open is incredibly important being open about what you want
00:04:28.400
addressing situations as they come up telling him when he's upset you but what goes hand in hand
00:04:33.760
with this is also the idea of how you communicate not getting overworked or over emotional so that
00:04:39.520
he can hear why you're upset not just that you're upset number two is respect your husband even if you
00:04:46.400
disagree you and your husband are going to disagree at a lot of points during your marriage it's just
00:04:50.880
normal it's going to happen even if it's not really frequently it's going to happen at least
00:04:55.920
sometimes but disrespecting your husband when you get into a disagreement is never okay and it's
00:05:00.960
not going to be good for your relationship and it's not a good way to treat each other you wouldn't
00:05:05.040
want him to treat you with disrespect so if you are going to be disrespectful to him that's also
00:05:10.800
unfair and it's not something that breeds love but it is very important for men to feel respected
00:05:16.640
that their wives respect everything about what they do and who they are and how they think their
00:05:21.600
intelligence and undermining that for just a petty disagreement it's just never going to be good for
00:05:27.360
your marriage it's so important to show that you can disagree and still respect the other person
00:05:32.960
because you can disagree with an idea while still respecting the person who had that idea and the fact
00:05:38.480
of the matter is you do respect your husband again that's part of the reason that you married him so
00:05:43.440
if you respect your husband and you do respect his opinions generally even in a disagreement just
00:05:49.120
keeping in mind that the disagreement is something that the two of you are working against not you
00:05:53.920
two working against each other and that is going to really kind of keep in your head that you don't
00:05:59.840
disrespect him that he doesn't disrespect you that you have this disagreement that the two of you are
00:06:04.240
working together to resolve number three is show him love in the way that he receives it not in the
00:06:10.480
way that you want to give it so this idea is based on a book called the five love languages i absolutely
00:06:16.880
love that book i read it in high school and i was fascinated i loved the whole idea i think i
00:06:22.400
actually had my whole family read it too because i just thought it was so interesting and the idea is
00:06:27.200
that we all communicate in five different love languages we have quality time words of affirmation
00:06:33.280
acts of service gifts and physical touch and we all have a couple primary ones or just one primary
00:06:39.280
one and usually the way that you receive love is also the way that you give love so if you
00:06:44.560
receive love if you feel loved when someone gives you quality time when somebody turns off their
00:06:50.160
phone and just sits with you and spends some really directed time with you then that's how you're going
00:06:54.400
to give love you're going to think okay this person wants me to spend time with them very directed
00:06:59.120
time i'm not going to be doing anything else but that person who you love may not receive love the
00:07:05.360
same way that you do and that's kind of an interesting thing to work with right if you are somebody who
00:07:10.480
receives love as quality time and the person that you've married receives love as gifts then when
00:07:16.080
you're trying to give them quality time they'll like it but they're not necessarily going to feel
00:07:20.000
like their cup is filled with love whereas if you buy them something that's really meaningful
00:07:24.720
then they may so trying to figure out how your husband receives love is going to make your
00:07:29.760
relationship even better for me my husband and i are pretty lucky because both of us i think our top love
00:07:36.320
language is quality time so we enjoy spending time with each other and that is how we both feel
00:07:41.680
loved but our secondary one i think is different i would say mine is physical touch i like when he
00:07:46.720
has his arm around me while watching a movie so sometimes i'll give him physical touch in a moment
00:07:51.520
where i would want physical touch and he doesn't mind it he likes it but it's not the same way that he
00:07:57.120
would receive love so figuring out what your husband wants and how he receives love will just make your
00:08:03.440
relationship so much more fresh number four is always make your husband feel loved and respected
00:08:09.040
when the two of you are around other people have you ever been at a dinner or a lunch where a husband
00:08:14.400
and wife are there and that wife is constantly kind of poking fun at her husband and making fun of her
00:08:18.960
husband or complaining about him while he's right there it's very uncomfortable it's happened to me
00:08:25.440
many times i'm sure it's happened to you at least once or twice in your life and there's always this
00:08:29.760
feeling of is this appropriate or should we laugh what what do we do here and it's never a good
00:08:37.120
idea to put your husband down in front of other people it's just it just isn't nice it's not
00:08:42.960
something that makes your relationship better can you like tease a little bit if you're out with
00:08:48.320
another couple who's kind of in your same stage of life and it's just kind of funny i think that's okay
00:08:53.600
in the same way that he can tease you a little bit right so if you kind of make a joke oh my husband
00:08:58.800
always puts his clothes next to the hamper not in them and your girlfriend and her husband
00:09:03.360
laugh and agree because he does it too i think that's okay in the same way that if your husband
00:09:08.400
kind of said oh yeah abby always takes an extra 15 minutes to do her hair and makeup or something like
00:09:13.440
that yeah okay that's okay because it's relatable you're relating to each other but if you're constantly
00:09:19.360
saying yeah my husband is always late my husband never does the dishes something just mean where you're
00:09:25.760
just directing attention to his negative aspects just bringing your problems out in the open airing
00:09:33.200
them in front of other people it's rude to him and it's really disrespectful and it's not good for
00:09:38.800
your marriage if you guys have problems these are the problems you need to deal with at home you need
00:09:43.760
to talk to each other about it and really fix it and work on it because this i'm sure that's not the
00:09:48.480
kind of relationship that you want where people think that maybe you don't get along as well as you do and
00:09:54.160
if these are issues that are coming up in front of other people then they're probably things that
00:09:57.760
you didn't communicate about rule number one early on and so being the kind of wife that your husband
00:10:04.000
feels really excited to bring around other people because he knows that you're going to reflect well
00:10:09.120
on him that is just so good for a marriage and you always want to be the kind of wife that maybe
00:10:15.280
an unmarried man would look at and say wow i'd really like to be with a woman who loves and respects
00:10:20.160
me the way she respects her husband i mean that that's just always going to make your husband feel
00:10:26.160
really good and loved and make your marriage even better in the same way that he should make you feel
00:10:31.840
beautiful and loved when the two of you are out together number five is a little bit of a lighter
00:10:36.800
one and that's figure out the chores that each of you likes and dislikes and make it work between you
00:10:43.120
so for example i hate taking out the trash i hate it i hate it forever and jacob doesn't really mind
00:10:50.560
he doesn't love it it's not his least favorite thing to do he takes out the garbage every week
00:10:55.440
that's our agreement you do the garbage and i'll take care of some other chores that you don't like
00:11:00.160
he really doesn't like doing the dishes we've discovered this in the last year initially we thought
00:11:04.640
okay you'll do the dishes we'll divide it up but that's a chore he actually really doesn't like doing
00:11:10.480
he hates washing pots specifically fair enough watching pots is very frustrating it's kind of
00:11:15.680
unwieldy so i said to him you know what washing pots and pans really doesn't bother me all that much
00:11:21.200
i don't mind doing it i'll do the dishes and you take out the trash and of course there are other
00:11:27.680
many chores in the house that the two of us divide but that's a good example of something where
00:11:32.240
don't force it just because it has to be a certain way right a lot of the time people will say
00:11:37.360
that the wife has to cook dinner and the husband has to wash dishes jacob doesn't like washing
00:11:41.440
dishes that's totally fine with me i don't mind washing dishes it really doesn't bother me at all
00:11:46.240
i really don't like taking out the garbage jacob doesn't mind he'll do it you know that that works
00:11:51.920
out for us so figuring out what chores each one of you despises so that the other person can take
00:11:59.680
it over because generally you're not going to find a chore that you absolutely love to do and you'll
00:12:04.320
say okay i'm only going to do the chores that i love because people don't love chores that's why
00:12:07.680
they're chores but there are chores that you will specifically hate and so figuring out what those
00:12:13.120
are so that you don't have to do them and the other person doesn't mind works out so that's it for
00:12:19.440
my five tips to be a better wife let me know in the comments if you guys have any other tips that
00:12:25.360
you'd like to share with us i'd love to hear thank you guys so much for watching today's video
00:12:30.240
please subscribe to my channel and blog if you haven't already head over to my twitter instagram
00:12:34.960
and facebook and follow me there hit that notification bell to get notified of all my
00:12:38.560
new videos hit that like button please head over to classicallyabbey.locals.com if you'd like to
00:12:43.440
support my channel see more of this content and be part of our community and i'll see you guys in my next