Classically Abby - 5 Ways To Be A Better Wife! ｜｜ Treat your husband the way you would want to be treated 💙

00:00:00.080 Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about

00:00:05.280 five ways to be a better wife. 1.00

00:00:10.560 Being a better wife is so important because it's about being a good partner to the man that you

00:00:16.000 love. When you meet the man that you want to marry there's a lot of it that's just fun and easy and

00:00:21.280 oh you enjoy spending time together oh you have kind of ideas for your future but there are certain

00:00:27.360 things you really can do to be a better partner and to be kind of more intentional in the way that

00:00:33.600 you treat your spouse and I do want to address that I'm planning on doing a video on five ways

00:00:38.080 to be a better husband as well but all of this is obviously based on the idea that you're both doing

00:00:43.120 your best to be a good spouse it's not just about one person being better and the other one not

00:00:47.520 improving it's not just about women being good wives while men don't have to do anything both 0.99

00:00:52.960 partners really have to put in the time and effort to be the best spouse to the person that they

00:00:58.080 love and of course that's what you want to do when you get married you want to be good to the person

00:01:03.120 that loves you and who you love this shouldn't be a huge ask for you to actually want to be better

00:01:08.880 and give a better life to your partner because if you are keeping them in mind then they're going

00:01:13.280 to have a better life and the same goes for you hopefully they're going to be keeping you in mind as

00:01:17.760 well i would assume that's the case if you chose to marry them so i'm really excited to get into

00:01:22.720 five tips for being a better wife so let's get into it my first tip is a basic one and that is

00:01:29.280 communicate i find that with myself there's sort of a tendency to have an imaginary version of things

00:01:37.280 where you think that oh i'm gonna walk in the house and i'm gonna have a new dress on and my hair

00:01:41.920 is going to be done and my husband is definitely going to notice and then as soon as he doesn't

00:01:47.120 you're disappointed or if you clean the house and you put in a lot of effort and your husband

00:01:50.960 isn't necessarily the type to notice clutter in the first place he may not necessarily notice and

00:01:56.880 you've imagined the scenario where he comes in and he thinks wow oh my gosh it's amazing and he gives

00:02:01.280 you a big hug and a kiss and maybe he just doesn't notice and again you're disappointed your husband

00:02:06.080 can't read your mind and it's not fair to ask him to try it's okay to give him an idea of things

00:02:12.880 that you'd like him to recognize in the future but asking him to read your mind without any sort

00:02:18.000 of guidance is just unfair and it's only going to be a breeding ground for arguments so the haircut

00:02:23.840 and the dress thing i think that that's a little bit hard you can't kind of say hard and fast rule i

00:02:27.760 want you to notice when i get my hair done because how would he know but the idea of okay when you come

00:02:34.960 home if you notice that the house is clean i would love it if you recognized it and you gave me a big hug

00:02:39.840 and you thanked me you know that kind of thing just giving him some guidance about what would make

00:02:44.720 you happy because that's what he wants he wants to make you happy and then even more than that you

00:02:50.160 should always tell him what you feel when you're feeling it in the sense of if he upsets you if he

00:02:56.000 does something that upsets you don't let that just percolate and become worse over time immediately

00:03:02.080 bring it up and immediately tell him that he did something that upset you because if you do bring it up

00:03:07.920 as it happens you're not going to be letting it build up and then all of a sudden all of these

00:03:12.720 emotions come to the surface and the communication just totally breaks down if you bring it up in the

00:03:17.920 moment then you'll be able to actually have that conversation more calmly and you'll actually get

00:03:23.680 more accomplished because he'll be able to hear you rather than trying to sort through kind of all of

00:03:29.280 the emotions that you're throwing at him he'll be able to hear why you're upset not that you're upset

00:03:35.200 if that makes sense and what goes into this is don't let your emotions run away with you because

00:03:41.520 the fact of the matter is you should know that your husband loves you that's why you married him

00:03:45.280 that's why he married you so if you always keep that in mind then even when he upsets you you're not

00:03:50.800 going to think that he did that for a malicious reason that he doesn't like you and he wants to hurt

00:03:54.880 your feelings he may have done something unthinking he may have done something that he didn't mean to

00:03:59.680 do or that he hurt you without even realizing and so you realizing that okay that wasn't coming from

00:04:05.280 a malicious place that was most likely accidental then you can actually be more calm about the whole

00:04:12.160 scenario and you can still approach it from a place of love and the communication is still very strong

00:04:17.680 always giving your husband the benefit of the doubt will prevent tension from building up between you

00:04:22.320 so keeping the lines of communication open is incredibly important being open about what you want

00:04:28.400 addressing situations as they come up telling him when he's upset you but what goes hand in hand

00:04:33.760 with this is also the idea of how you communicate not getting overworked or over emotional so that

00:04:39.520 he can hear why you're upset not just that you're upset number two is respect your husband even if you

00:04:46.400 disagree you and your husband are going to disagree at a lot of points during your marriage it's just

00:04:50.880 normal it's going to happen even if it's not really frequently it's going to happen at least

00:04:55.920 sometimes but disrespecting your husband when you get into a disagreement is never okay and it's

00:05:00.960 not going to be good for your relationship and it's not a good way to treat each other you wouldn't

00:05:05.040 want him to treat you with disrespect so if you are going to be disrespectful to him that's also

00:05:10.800 unfair and it's not something that breeds love but it is very important for men to feel respected

00:05:16.640 that their wives respect everything about what they do and who they are and how they think their

00:05:21.600 intelligence and undermining that for just a petty disagreement it's just never going to be good for

00:05:27.360 your marriage it's so important to show that you can disagree and still respect the other person

00:05:32.960 because you can disagree with an idea while still respecting the person who had that idea and the fact

00:05:38.480 of the matter is you do respect your husband again that's part of the reason that you married him so

00:05:43.440 if you respect your husband and you do respect his opinions generally even in a disagreement just

00:05:49.120 keeping in mind that the disagreement is something that the two of you are working against not you

00:05:53.920 two working against each other and that is going to really kind of keep in your head that you don't

00:05:59.840 disrespect him that he doesn't disrespect you that you have this disagreement that the two of you are

00:06:04.240 working together to resolve number three is show him love in the way that he receives it not in the

00:06:10.480 way that you want to give it so this idea is based on a book called the five love languages i absolutely

00:06:16.880 love that book i read it in high school and i was fascinated i loved the whole idea i think i

00:06:22.400 actually had my whole family read it too because i just thought it was so interesting and the idea is

00:06:27.200 that we all communicate in five different love languages we have quality time words of affirmation

00:06:33.280 acts of service gifts and physical touch and we all have a couple primary ones or just one primary

00:06:39.280 one and usually the way that you receive love is also the way that you give love so if you

00:06:44.560 receive love if you feel loved when someone gives you quality time when somebody turns off their

00:06:50.160 phone and just sits with you and spends some really directed time with you then that's how you're going

00:06:54.400 to give love you're going to think okay this person wants me to spend time with them very directed

00:06:59.120 time i'm not going to be doing anything else but that person who you love may not receive love the

00:07:05.360 same way that you do and that's kind of an interesting thing to work with right if you are somebody who

00:07:10.480 receives love as quality time and the person that you've married receives love as gifts then when

00:07:16.080 you're trying to give them quality time they'll like it but they're not necessarily going to feel

00:07:20.000 like their cup is filled with love whereas if you buy them something that's really meaningful

00:07:24.720 then they may so trying to figure out how your husband receives love is going to make your

00:07:29.760 relationship even better for me my husband and i are pretty lucky because both of us i think our top love

00:07:36.320 language is quality time so we enjoy spending time with each other and that is how we both feel

00:07:41.680 loved but our secondary one i think is different i would say mine is physical touch i like when he

00:07:46.720 has his arm around me while watching a movie so sometimes i'll give him physical touch in a moment

00:07:51.520 where i would want physical touch and he doesn't mind it he likes it but it's not the same way that he

00:07:57.120 would receive love so figuring out what your husband wants and how he receives love will just make your

00:08:03.440 relationship so much more fresh number four is always make your husband feel loved and respected

00:08:09.040 when the two of you are around other people have you ever been at a dinner or a lunch where a husband

00:08:14.400 and wife are there and that wife is constantly kind of poking fun at her husband and making fun of her

00:08:18.960 husband or complaining about him while he's right there it's very uncomfortable it's happened to me

00:08:25.440 many times i'm sure it's happened to you at least once or twice in your life and there's always this

00:08:29.760 feeling of is this appropriate or should we laugh what what do we do here and it's never a good

00:08:37.120 idea to put your husband down in front of other people it's just it just isn't nice it's not

00:08:42.960 something that makes your relationship better can you like tease a little bit if you're out with

00:08:48.320 another couple who's kind of in your same stage of life and it's just kind of funny i think that's okay

00:08:53.600 in the same way that he can tease you a little bit right so if you kind of make a joke oh my husband

00:08:58.800 always puts his clothes next to the hamper not in them and your girlfriend and her husband 0.99

00:09:03.360 laugh and agree because he does it too i think that's okay in the same way that if your husband

00:09:08.400 kind of said oh yeah abby always takes an extra 15 minutes to do her hair and makeup or something like 1.00

00:09:13.440 that yeah okay that's okay because it's relatable you're relating to each other but if you're constantly

00:09:19.360 saying yeah my husband is always late my husband never does the dishes something just mean where you're

00:09:25.760 just directing attention to his negative aspects just bringing your problems out in the open airing

00:09:33.200 them in front of other people it's rude to him and it's really disrespectful and it's not good for

00:09:38.800 your marriage if you guys have problems these are the problems you need to deal with at home you need

00:09:43.760 to talk to each other about it and really fix it and work on it because this i'm sure that's not the

00:09:48.480 kind of relationship that you want where people think that maybe you don't get along as well as you do and

00:09:54.160 if these are issues that are coming up in front of other people then they're probably things that

00:09:57.760 you didn't communicate about rule number one early on and so being the kind of wife that your husband 1.00

00:10:04.000 feels really excited to bring around other people because he knows that you're going to reflect well

00:10:09.120 on him that is just so good for a marriage and you always want to be the kind of wife that maybe

00:10:15.280 an unmarried man would look at and say wow i'd really like to be with a woman who loves and respects

00:10:20.160 me the way she respects her husband i mean that that's just always going to make your husband feel

00:10:26.160 really good and loved and make your marriage even better in the same way that he should make you feel

00:10:31.840 beautiful and loved when the two of you are out together number five is a little bit of a lighter

00:10:36.800 one and that's figure out the chores that each of you likes and dislikes and make it work between you

00:10:43.120 so for example i hate taking out the trash i hate it i hate it forever and jacob doesn't really mind 0.67

00:10:50.560 he doesn't love it it's not his least favorite thing to do he takes out the garbage every week

00:10:55.440 that's our agreement you do the garbage and i'll take care of some other chores that you don't like

00:11:00.160 he really doesn't like doing the dishes we've discovered this in the last year initially we thought

00:11:04.640 okay you'll do the dishes we'll divide it up but that's a chore he actually really doesn't like doing

00:11:10.480 he hates washing pots specifically fair enough watching pots is very frustrating it's kind of

00:11:15.680 unwieldy so i said to him you know what washing pots and pans really doesn't bother me all that much

00:11:21.200 i don't mind doing it i'll do the dishes and you take out the trash and of course there are other

00:11:27.680 many chores in the house that the two of us divide but that's a good example of something where

00:11:32.240 don't force it just because it has to be a certain way right a lot of the time people will say

00:11:37.360 that the wife has to cook dinner and the husband has to wash dishes jacob doesn't like washing

00:11:41.440 dishes that's totally fine with me i don't mind washing dishes it really doesn't bother me at all

00:11:46.240 i really don't like taking out the garbage jacob doesn't mind he'll do it you know that that works

00:11:51.920 out for us so figuring out what chores each one of you despises so that the other person can take

00:11:59.680 it over because generally you're not going to find a chore that you absolutely love to do and you'll

00:12:04.320 say okay i'm only going to do the chores that i love because people don't love chores that's why

00:12:07.680 they're chores but there are chores that you will specifically hate and so figuring out what those

00:12:13.120 are so that you don't have to do them and the other person doesn't mind works out so that's it for

00:12:19.440 my five tips to be a better wife let me know in the comments if you guys have any other tips that

00:12:25.360 you'd like to share with us i'd love to hear thank you guys so much for watching today's video

00:12:30.240 please subscribe to my channel and blog if you haven't already head over to my twitter instagram

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00:12:48.000 video bye

Classically Abby - September 22, 2020

5 Ways To Be A Better Wife! ｜｜ Treat your husband the way you would want to be treated 💙

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