Classically Abby - February 03, 2022


5 Ways To Build A FEMININE Community You LOVE

Topics
long-distance friendships
Hosted by
Abby Shapiro
Mentioned
Zoom Jacob Goodwill
Embrace SLOW LIVING And Stop Feeling Like A FAILURE Ask Mama Shapiro ANYTHING! ⧸⧸ My mom has the BEST advice...

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

187.23

Word count

1,966

Sentence count

120

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

It is so hard to make friends and build a community in today's day and age, and finding a good, strong community of girlfriends that you just enjoy spending time with, who share your values, and who you can learn from is not always easy. And I want to share five ways that you can go about doing this yourself.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
00:00:04.280 five ways to find and build a good community of women. 1.00
00:00:14.180 If you are new to my channel, here we talk about classic living and traditional values,
00:00:18.960 so I would love if you would consider subscribing to my channel and hitting that notification bell,
00:00:23.040 and I would also love if you would consider subscribing to my Substack newsletter where
00:00:26.980 you will get access to a ton of exclusive content and not available anywhere else, including my
00:00:32.040 podcast, my book club. I love my Substack community. It is awesome. So now that that's out of the way,
00:00:39.220 I have gotten so many requests for a video like this. It is so hard to make friends and build a
00:00:45.960 community in today's day and age. It's just really hard. And finding a good, strong community of
00:00:51.920 girlfriends that you just really enjoy spending time with, who share your values, who you can
00:00:57.500 learn from, it's not always easy. And I want to share five ways that you can go about doing this
00:01:05.040 yourself because it's important. It's important to have a support system and a community of women
00:01:11.480 who can lift you up and share their thoughts. I mean, it's just the best. One of the things I love
00:01:17.600 about Classically Abbey is the community that we're building here online. And it's definitely
00:01:22.680 one that you can engage with. The women here are awesome. And I know I already mentioned my Substack 1.00
00:01:28.660 newsletter, but one of the things I love about that is that you actually get to talk to each other in
00:01:33.460 that discussion threads and also through our book club and our Zoom calls. So that's one way to join a
00:01:40.100 community if you feel like you are struggling. But having one in person is invaluable. So I'm really
00:01:45.460 excited to share these tips with you guys. So let's get into it. My first piece of advice is go to church
00:01:51.220 or synagogue. Having a faith community is such a wonderful way to find and build a community of
00:01:58.640 women. I think about people who move to a new city or a new state and don't know anybody and don't have 0.99
00:02:07.240 access to that. They don't have a faith community. I would think it would be so much more difficult to
00:02:13.760 meet people. Whereas when you move to a new community and you can just go to church or synagogue,
00:02:19.960 you meet people immediately right off the bat who you know share your values, who you know share your
00:02:24.560 religion. Like that is awesome. So every time that Jacob and I have moved, we've found a synagogue in
00:02:31.460 the area that we can attend. Now where we live now, our synagogue is really small. So that that is
00:02:36.800 difficult. But when we moved to Nebraska, it was super important that we lived in the community there
00:02:43.020 because there's really only one community there. So it is such a wonderful and invaluable resource
00:02:49.220 to be able to go to a faith-based community. It is such a wonderful way to meet people. And usually
00:02:57.780 they're super welcoming too. One of the great things about it too is that it guarantees that you're going
00:03:03.080 to be seeing people at least once a week. If you go to services on Saturdays or Sundays, you're going to
00:03:08.300 be seeing people once a week and you're going to start building those relationships. So I highly
00:03:12.640 recommend if you're not already, or you are a little worried about it, makes you a little bit
00:03:16.860 nervous, just break the ice. Go to your church, go to your local church, go to your local synagogue
00:03:23.120 and try and meet people there. Because that is going to be the first way and the easiest way to meet
00:03:31.040 women who you get along with and who share your values. Number two is now that you've gone to church 0.69
00:03:37.900 or synagogue, join something at your faith-based community. You can either join a study group or you
00:03:45.020 can try and join a planning group, like a planning committee, so that you can be part of making the
00:03:50.860 plans and you can have more say in the activities that are offered at your faith-based community.
00:03:55.920 Like that's a really cool thing too. So you can either take advantage of the programs that are
00:04:00.440 already available to you. Study groups are a really good thing, or sometimes they even have single
00:04:05.500 mixers, which is great. Or you can join the committees that plan things and maybe offer some
00:04:13.780 suggestions for women's meetups and see if there's a way that you can build some sort of girls movie 1.00
00:04:19.340 night or something through your church or synagogue. Being participatory in these groups at your faith
00:04:27.200 based community is going to introduce you to people outside of services and really allow you to make
00:04:35.060 friends. You might make friends with the people on the planning committees, which is really cool. Or you
00:04:39.720 might make friends with the people at the events. So taking advantage of the opportunities at your
00:04:46.240 church or synagogue will allow you to actually make those connections and make those friends.
00:04:51.780 Okay, so now we're out of the faith-based community stuff. Let's talk about number three, which is once
00:04:58.180 you've made friends in a new area, host a party or ask a friend if you can co-host a party where each of
00:05:05.440 you invite people that the other hasn't met. Once you've made a few friends, you can host a party.
00:05:11.460 And when you have that party, tell everyone to bring a friend that you don't know so that you
00:05:17.880 can even expand out your friend group. That's an option. Another option is to co-host a party
00:05:24.160 with a friend and each of you has to bring people that the other hasn't met. So again,
00:05:29.780 you're expanding that friend group. You're making more connections. You're networking,
00:05:34.420 but not in the sense of like a work networking. You're building community. You're building friendships.
00:05:39.580 And that's really fun and important. And you can decide how you want to host the party. It can be
00:05:44.840 a casual get-together where you guys kind of serve drinks and snacks and everyone just talks.
00:05:49.540 Or you can make it a little bit more specific. So I've hosted a party for my birthday,
00:05:55.160 maybe three or four years ago, which was great, where I told everybody, bring clothes that you want
00:06:01.280 to donate. And what we'll do is we will hang up everybody's clothes and shop around into other
00:06:08.780 people's closets. And so if you get rid of stuff, then you can find maybe something else for free
00:06:14.520 from somebody else. And then everything that doesn't get picked will get taken to Goodwill.
00:06:19.480 And that was a really good way to inspire people to come because a lot of people wanted to clutter
00:06:23.500 their closets and maybe do a little bit of shopping in someone else's closet if there are similar sizes.
00:06:28.280 So I really, that's a really great way to get people to want to come over. And you'll make
00:06:33.640 friends through those kinds of experiences. They can be really fun, especially because a lot of the
00:06:38.340 time you'll end up modeling for each other, which is just really, it's just a really fun way to make
00:06:42.480 friends. So that's a good way. Or you can host some sort of movie night with like a discussion
00:06:47.440 afterward. That kind of thing can be really good at establishing good friendships and making that
00:06:55.820 community that you have of friends even wider and bigger. Number four is make friends with the
00:07:01.440 wives of your husband's friends. So if you are married, I think a really good way to make friends
00:07:08.120 is for your husband's friends' wives to be invited over for dinner. You know, I know that a ton of my
00:07:15.720 friends I made because Jacob invited a husband and wife over. He's friends with the husband. I became
00:07:22.680 friends with the wife and now me and the wife are like really good friends. That's something I've
00:07:27.180 really loved about our marriage. And it's something that you should totally take advantage of. I think
00:07:32.000 there's this misconception that building this community of women is only for singles, which is 0.99
00:07:37.460 absolutely not true. You can be lonely as a married woman because you just don't have enough social 0.99
00:07:42.120 interaction outside of your home. So you should definitely make sure that you are reaching out to
00:07:48.640 women in your area, even if you are married. So a really good way to do that is to take advantage 1.00
00:07:53.860 of your husband's friendships. And same for him. I mean, if you meet a woman and you really like her
00:07:59.400 and you invite her and her husband over for dinner, he could become friends with the husband, which has
00:08:03.120 happened for us as well. So it's a really nice way to find a couple that you guys both enjoy hanging
00:08:09.600 out with, but then you also have your individual friendships, which is great. And take advantage of
00:08:15.320 your husband's extroversion if he is one. And hopefully you can, you can make friends through
00:08:21.540 that too. Baby is moving. He's so cute. Last but not least is do Zoom calls with your long distance
00:08:28.540 friends. I have a community of women that I am close with, but half of them do not live near me. 0.99
00:08:34.220 I've moved around so much since we've been married that, you know, they're not all going to be near me.
00:08:39.640 Many of them are long distance. And so what I've done is I will do group Zoom calls with those
00:08:46.840 friends. And even though we're all spread out, we will all get on maybe three times, four times,
00:08:52.860 five times a year, and just chat and see where everyone's at and just catch up. And if it's not
00:08:58.940 a group call, you can do that even more frequently with phone calls or Zoom calls just one-on-one,
00:09:03.640 which I do with my friends who live far away frequently. And it is so nice. So don't feel
00:09:10.540 like your friends can only be local. The community of women that you build can be a mix of people who 1.00
00:09:18.920 are local and people who are long distance. You just kind of have to navigate that long distance
00:09:25.200 thing a little bit more than local friendships, but you can absolutely do it. And the fact of the
00:09:29.940 matter is, in my experience, you have to plan with people no matter what. It's not the easiest thing
00:09:35.460 in the world to get together with a friend on a whim just generally. So if you have to schedule with
00:09:40.120 a friend who's local, you might as well schedule with a friend who's long distance for a Zoom call.
00:09:45.040 So you should absolutely make sure to keep those friendships intact too, because they are wonderful
00:09:50.080 and I absolutely love my long distance girlfriends. So those are my five ways to build a community
00:09:56.420 of women. If you have other tips down below, let me know. I might come up with another video. I think
00:10:02.640 there's a lot of ways that you can continue to build those friendships, have supportive women
00:10:07.760 around you. So I really want to continue to have this conversation. Make sure to leave those comments
00:10:12.380 below. And if you aren't already subscribed to my channel, make sure to subscribe and hit that
00:10:16.200 notification bell. And if you aren't already subscribed to my Substack newsletter, check it out
00:10:20.740 classicallyabby.substack.com. If you'd like to follow me on social media, it's at
00:10:24.580 classicallyabby absolutely everywhere. Thank you so much for watching, and I'll see you guys in my next video.
00:10:29.040 Bye!