Classically Abby - 7 Tips To Grow From A GIRL To A CLASSIC WOMAN ｜｜ Become the mature woman you were meant to be!

00:00:00.120 Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about

00:00:04.700 seven ways to grow from a girl to a classic woman. 0.98

00:00:10.700 Moving into adulthood can be really tricky to kind of navigate, and I think a lot of

00:00:15.180 the time we talk about the move from being a child through puberty, but then we don't

00:00:19.260 often talk about the transition from being a girl to being a woman, and that is something

00:00:25.100 that I really wanted to talk about here on my channel because I think that there are

00:00:28.640 some steps that we can take to grow and become more mature, and it doesn't feel as drastic

00:00:34.240 as the change from being a child to being a pubescent girl does, because obviously your

00:00:39.080 body's changing in a lot of ways during that transition, but when you're going from being

00:00:43.120 a girl to becoming a woman, it's a lot more intentional.

00:00:46.720 It's a lot more about your choices and a lot more about paying attention to becoming the

00:00:52.120 woman you want to be, and so I really wanted to talk about seven ways that we can become

00:00:56.900 more classic and become more mature and grow into the woman that we want to be.

00:01:02.000 So I'm really excited to share these with you today, so let's get into it.

00:01:05.320 The first thing I want to talk about is developing your sense of style.

00:01:09.080 Now I know I talk about this a lot on my channel, and I know it can seem superficial, but it is

00:01:13.380 not superficial at all.

00:01:15.220 I've always felt like your style has something to do with who you are as a person, and that

00:01:20.460 it really kind of reflects who you are, and I felt like I couldn't say that because

00:01:24.680 people would think that it was superficial for me to care about what I wore, to care

00:01:28.800 about what I put on my body.

00:01:30.560 And I was listening to the podcast, The Simple Sophisticate, which I mentioned in a Scoop

00:01:34.400 episode a week ago or so, and on that episode she really talked about why it is so important

00:01:40.340 to figure out your sense of style.

00:01:43.040 And it felt like someone had put into words all of the thoughts that I had had for so long.

00:01:47.860 And basically what it comes down to is that there's a difference between fashion and style.

00:01:53.200 Fashion is following the trends.

00:01:54.840 It's seeing what everyone else is wearing and copying them so that you fit in.

00:01:59.420 Whereas style is something that reflects who you are, and it reflects your inner personality.

00:02:04.820 So the cool thing about developing your personal sense of style is that in order to do that

00:02:09.360 you have to know yourself.

00:02:10.860 You have to know what you like.

00:02:12.860 You have to know what you want to present to the world.

00:02:15.400 And it's much more a reflection of who you are.

00:02:18.540 And trying to figure out who you are is the first step in becoming a woman, in becoming 0.99

00:02:23.300 a classic woman, is really recognizing what you stand for, who you are, and knowing what 0.57

00:02:30.300 makes you happy, what works with who you want to be.

00:02:34.400 And so I really like the idea that our clothing can reflect that.

00:02:37.780 I truly believe that as you get to know yourself and you become more comfortable in who you are,

00:02:42.680 you'll start to gravitate toward the clothing that reflects that for you and shows that

00:02:46.900 you care about yourself and the way that you look.

00:02:49.440 So style isn't superficial at all.

00:02:51.640 It's actually kind of the first step in embracing who you really are because you're putting out

00:02:56.560 to the world what you want people to know about you.

00:02:59.880 So for me, for example, I have really been working on honing my personal style.

00:03:04.720 I only want to own things that really speak to me and that really speak to the way that

00:03:08.920 I want to present myself because, right, there are certain pieces of clothing, there are

00:03:12.480 certain trends that I do like, but I wouldn't wear them because that's not actually who I

00:03:17.480 am as a person.

00:03:19.080 And I want to wear things that do reflect who I am.

00:03:22.100 And so of course it's always a process, but I have whittled down my closet to the pieces

00:03:26.540 that really do speak to me and that do show what kind of a person I am.

00:03:31.420 So for me, I know that I really like feminine clothing with a masculine twist.

00:03:36.640 Now that's not all of my clothing, right, because there's all different kinds of things we can

00:03:39.960 put in our wardrobe, but I really like button-down dresses, for example.

00:03:43.920 I really like wearing a pair of jeans with a flowier top.

00:03:47.340 I like the mixture of masculine and feminine.

00:03:50.160 And the fact that I wear modest clothing reflects what I care about, where I come from, and what

00:03:55.140 I want to express.

00:03:56.140 Now, of course, on the other end of the spectrum, I have a lot of very feminine dresses. 0.64

00:04:00.440 I love dresses.

00:04:02.240 And so figuring out which pieces speak to me, not just buying things because someone else

00:04:06.640 has them or because it's on sale, but because when I pick that up, it feels like a reflection

00:04:11.520 of me, has made me feel more mature, funnily enough, because clothing really reflects who

00:04:16.860 you are on the inside and shows that you understand yourself, which is the first step to becoming

00:04:21.400 a more classic woman and moving out of girlhood. 0.63

00:04:24.760 Number two is engage with your beliefs and really understand them so that you don't feel pressured

00:04:29.760 when somebody else says a different opinion.

00:04:32.560 Knowing what you believe and understanding it is so important to becoming a woman.

00:04:36.720 It's a huge step in becoming more mature.

00:04:39.040 If you don't really know what you believe and you constantly feel like you're on shaky

00:04:42.500 ground, then you can't really become the best version of yourself because you might feel

00:04:47.920 more defensive when somebody comes to talk to you rather than ready to engage in an open

00:04:52.040 discussion because you do understand your ideas and you can listen to somebody else's ideas

00:04:56.780 with an open mind because if they do change your mind, it's because they had good enough

00:05:01.400 arguments to do so, not because you're being peer pressured into it because you know what

00:05:06.020 you believe so strongly.

00:05:07.920 Knowing what you believe and really educating yourself on the things that you believe will

00:05:12.040 give you a more firm foundation in who you are.

00:05:15.420 So does that mean that you can't have a conversation with someone who disagrees with you?

00:05:19.180 It's actually precisely the opposite.

00:05:21.580 It actually makes the conversations that you have with people who disagree with you even more

00:05:25.160 effective because you won't feel like you need to shut down the conversation just because

00:05:28.860 you don't know why you believe what you believe.

00:05:31.880 You can be very confident in that conversation.

00:05:34.320 And like I said before, if somebody changes your mind, it's because they had a good enough

00:05:38.960 argument that it was warranted.

00:05:41.060 It's not because you felt peer pressured or you felt confused.

00:05:44.900 It's more that you are educated on your own opinion so when somebody gives you an opposing

00:05:48.720 opinion, you can really listen and hear it because you actually know what you're talking

00:05:53.520 about and that is just going to give you a really firm foundation to figure out who you are and

00:06:00.120 to embrace what you believe even more so because you have actually taken the time to understand

00:06:06.160 what you believe.

00:06:07.400 Knowing who you are starts with what you think, what you believe, not just the kind of person

00:06:12.480 that you are and your personality traits, but also what you are choosing to live out.

00:06:17.680 And so knowing your beliefs, understanding them is going to give you a really good base

00:06:23.680 for your growth from a girl to a classic woman.

00:06:27.100 The third way to grow from a girl to a woman is to get off social media more than you're 1.00

00:06:32.460 on it.

00:06:33.520 Social media is addictive.

00:06:35.380 Everybody knows it.

00:06:36.320 Everybody knows that the endless scroll was made to be addictive so you stay on your phone

00:06:40.420 for longer.

00:06:41.420 But the fact of the matter is being on Instagram is really hard on young women.

00:06:45.480 And I'm using Instagram as an example because it's very popular among women.

00:06:48.980 We like to follow friends or follow celebrities and see what people in the world are up to.

00:06:54.260 Because again, we are social creatures and we treat Instagram like it's a social outlet

00:06:59.720 when it isn't.

00:07:00.940 The fact is being on your phone all the time is not something that allows you to mature because

00:07:05.980 you're feeling that constant pressure from all of these other opinions that may not reflect

00:07:12.500 what you actually believe and you can't really argue with it because it's just there for

00:07:17.600 you to look at.

00:07:18.440 It's not really something you can engage with.

00:07:20.280 It's really funny because when Jacob and I first got married, I was on Instagram much

00:07:25.160 more often.

00:07:26.220 And it actually was not great for my mental health.

00:07:29.280 I remember that I would look at these women who looked photoshopped and just think to myself,

00:07:34.280 I'll never look like that.

00:07:35.280 And at the time, I wasn't using social media for my job so I was on it for fun.

00:07:41.840 And it wasn't fun.

00:07:42.720 It was just making me sad.

00:07:44.160 It was a way for me to compare myself to people who I was never going to look like.

00:07:49.600 And Jacob actually asked me at the time, he said, are you sure this is making you happy?

00:07:52.900 I think you might be happier if you were to take Instagram off your phone for a little

00:07:56.140 bit.

00:07:57.140 And when I did, I felt so much better.

00:08:00.280 I cannot tell you how important that was for me to just remove the temptation of looking

00:08:07.100 at other people all the time and comparing myself when it's not helping you grow and

00:08:11.800 become a better version of yourself.

00:08:13.880 It's a distraction, really.

00:08:15.580 If you're using it here and there to reach out to friends, kind of follow and see what

00:08:18.800 they're up to, that's a good use of social media, right, is reaching out to the people

00:08:23.340 that you know and love and being able to see what they're doing in their lives.

00:08:27.320 That's a good thing that we can use social media for.

00:08:29.640 But if you use it whenever you have a free moment, just kind of reach for your phone

00:08:33.800 in that addictive way, it just ends up making you kind of feel bad about yourself.

00:08:37.700 And it's not even fun.

00:08:39.320 You start to think that it's fun because, oh, I'm wasting time on here.

00:08:43.180 But it's not actually fun.

00:08:45.200 At the end of that, do you feel like you did something productive or do you feel like you

00:08:49.260 did something that made you laugh?

00:08:51.500 Not really.

00:08:52.500 And the thing about being on social media is that it's really not an intentional choice

00:08:56.320 for a lot of us.

00:08:57.320 It's not something where we sit down and think, I'm going to be on Instagram for 30 minutes

00:09:00.940 and I'm intentionally taking this time to scroll.

00:09:03.480 Most of the time you pick up your phone without even thinking and you start scrolling.

00:09:08.000 And being intentional is one of the huge parts of becoming a woman and maturing.

00:09:13.220 And that's something I'm going to be talking about a little bit later.

00:09:16.000 But social media is not intentional.

00:09:18.480 And a lot of the time it's just going to distract you from what you really want to be doing.

00:09:22.780 Number four is try to embrace being calm and collected and accept what you can't control.

00:09:28.860 As a younger woman, I feel like I was a lot more harried than I am now.

00:09:32.940 Of course, it kind of comes and goes depending on what's going on in your life.

00:09:36.900 But I felt like I had control over not just my own choices, but over the choices of other

00:09:41.900 people and the world itself.

00:09:43.940 I felt like I had control over more than I did.

00:09:46.840 And so when things didn't turn out my way, I would get frustrated and I would feel really

00:09:51.320 anxious and I didn't feel calm.

00:09:54.820 But once you accept what you can't control, everything starts to feel a little bit more

00:09:59.780 calm because you only have control over your own reactions and over your actions.

00:10:06.060 Those two things are all that you can control.

00:10:08.240 You can control how you react to things and you can also control just your own choices overall.

00:10:13.340 Part of growing up is recognizing that life isn't always easy, but that doesn't mean that

00:10:17.720 it's not lovely.

00:10:19.000 I like the word lovely because I do.

00:10:21.000 I think that life is lovely.

00:10:22.940 It's not always easy.

00:10:24.640 It's not always happy, but it is lovely in all of its forms.

00:10:29.660 And I think that being a mature, classic woman is being able to accept all the ups and

00:10:36.260 downs that are a part of life.

00:10:38.240 Once you realize that pretty much everything is small stuff, being able to differentiate

00:10:42.600 between what's a really big problem and what's a small problem, once you kind of differentiate

00:10:47.680 between those two things and realize that many things in life are mostly the small things,

00:10:53.680 that's when you can be more calm and that's when you can really start to live life in

00:10:58.000 the present, which is a very mature thing.

00:11:00.740 Now that's not to say that you don't make choices for the future.

00:11:04.020 That's not what I mean.

00:11:05.300 But what I mean is that when you're enjoying something in the present, you're not thinking

00:11:10.180 five minutes into the future about how you're not going to be enjoying it anymore.

00:11:13.300 You're there.

00:11:14.300 You're living the joyful moment and accepting that, okay, it may not last forever, but that

00:11:19.780 is part of it.

00:11:20.780 That's just part of life.

00:11:21.660 And the thing about being more calm and collected is that you'll be more effective as a woman

00:11:26.540 when you are calm because you can't get things done as well when you are anxious or worried

00:11:33.420 or stressed because your brain feels cluttered with that emotion instead of saying, this is

00:11:38.780 a stressful situation, but I don't have to be stressed because if I'm stressed, then the

00:11:43.420 stressful situation goes from, okay, the situation itself is stressful to me being stressed and not

00:11:49.260 really being able to handle it.

00:11:52.140 And the thing about being a mature, calm woman is that you become the kind of woman that people

00:11:55.920 can depend on and rely on and go to for advice.

00:12:00.260 And when you're a wife and a mother, people do depend and rely on you.

00:12:03.700 And if you are really stressed and high-strung and anxious, if you can't calm down in the

00:12:09.340 moments when it really counts, people are going to have to take care of you instead of you

00:12:13.700 being able to take care of other people.

00:12:15.540 It's always important to take time just every so often, periodically, to step back from everything

00:12:22.820 that's going on and check in with yourself and really see, okay, how can I improve?

00:12:28.580 How can I be better?

00:12:29.940 How can I be calmer in these situations?

00:12:32.740 And not let the stressors of life feel like they're never ending and that you can't overcome

00:12:38.820 your own reaction to them and just being able to sit down and really ponder how can you grow

00:12:45.540 and become more intentional and deliberate with the way that you respond to things will

00:12:50.340 be a huge part of becoming a classic and mature woman. 0.92

00:12:53.700 Number five is to take responsibility for your actions.

00:12:57.140 Don't blame anyone else for the way that you act.

00:12:59.780 When you're young, it's so easy to blame everybody else for the way that you act.

00:13:04.020 Usually it's your parents who are the prime target because you can point to something that

00:13:08.260 they did growing up that makes you respond a certain way now.

00:13:11.380 But you can even blame your siblings or your friends or anyone else except yourself when

00:13:17.460 you do something that you're not proud of.

00:13:19.620 It's easier not to take responsibility when you're young because then you don't have to

00:13:23.060 face the fact that you might have to make a change.

00:13:25.460 But once you start taking responsibility for your actions, then you can really start to become

00:13:29.940 more classic.

00:13:30.980 You can start to grow and change and improve because you're ready to grow.

00:13:35.060 Because you're ready to face the fact that you may have made mistakes and that's okay

00:13:40.100 because now you're going to learn from them.

00:13:42.340 And it's so exciting to think that you're on a never-ending journey of self-improvement

00:13:47.140 for not only yourself, but for your partner, for God, for your community, for your friends.

00:13:52.100 And it's so great to be able to ask more of yourself, to take responsibility for the way that

00:13:57.860 you react because it can only lead to your happiness because it'll improve the relationships

00:14:03.460 between you and other people.

00:14:04.900 If you're constantly blaming somebody else for the way that you act now, then you're not going

00:14:10.020 to have great relationships because people are going to get frustrated with you because you're not

00:14:14.820 implementing changes to the way that you treat them.

00:14:17.540 And if you are trying to grow and if you are trying to be better, then all of a sudden the relationships

00:14:23.060 with the people around you are going to be better because the communication is going to be easier.

00:14:27.460 And people are going to see that you really are trying not to react in that

00:14:30.980 maybe negative way that you used to.

00:14:32.820 And taking responsibility for your actions is also part of taking control of your actions and reactions.

00:14:39.220 And once you do that, you can really become more mature because

00:14:43.060 you are taking responsibility for who you are.

00:14:46.660 Number six is be cleanly. Taking care of your items and your home is so important to being a mature

00:14:53.140 and classic woman. Everyone always says that a cluttered house is a cluttered mind, 1.00

00:14:57.140 but I can tell you that is definitely true for me.

00:15:00.340 So keeping your house clean is part of your growth as a person because if you can't have

00:15:05.140 the mental brain space to even address growing as a person because everything is just a mess all

00:15:10.020 the time and your mind is also cluttered, then you won't be able to take the time to become more

00:15:14.500 mature and to take that, you know, little break and step back from everything around you and just

00:15:19.220 think because you're constantly going to be looking at mess. And on the other side of things,

00:15:24.100 taking care of your items, it shows that you're mature because you actually care about the meaning

00:15:29.220 of a dollar. You aren't wasting your items by not taking care of them and assuming that you can

00:15:34.500 easily replace them. You are taking care of your purchases. Being clean also means that you are

00:15:40.340 aware of how important your environment is. And that is a very mature recognition is being able

00:15:46.980 to say, okay, there are certain things in my space that don't work for me. The house is a mess and it's

00:15:52.260 making me feel stressed. Recognizing that all of these things play a part into your mental health,

00:15:57.540 into your mental growth, into your maturity journey is a part of growing up and being more

00:16:03.620 of a classic woman because you are taking into account what is around you and you can have the kind

00:16:09.540 of home that you've always dreamed of when you do keep it clean, when you do recognize the importance

00:16:14.820 of your environment. There are two things about being messy. And basically, if you are messy, it either

00:16:20.740 means that you expect somebody else to take care of the mess, which is a juvenile way to look at it,

00:16:26.100 it's a girl way to look at it rather than a woman's way of looking at things, or you don't really care 1.00

00:16:31.860 or notice, but you're not being sensitive to the people around you who might care and notice. And so being

00:16:37.700 clean is only going to be a positive reflection on you and is going to be a reflection of your

00:16:43.540 maturity. My seventh and last piece of advice is to figure out what your mission is and then always

00:16:49.380 keep it at the forefront of your mind. As you're maturing into a woman, you're going to start figuring

00:16:54.740 out what it is that you want to contribute to the world and how you want to live your life. Everyone has

00:17:01.060 a different mission and a different view of what they would like to do and contribute to the world

00:17:05.780 or just to their communities. There are women who feel that they want to just be stay-at-home moms

00:17:10.340 and they really want to invest that time into their families, into their children, into their

00:17:14.180 husband's well-being, and that is amazing. And once they figure that out, that is their mission.

00:17:19.940 They know what they want and they can live their life fully with that as their goal. And then there

00:17:25.780 are the women who feel that they have a mission that is outside of the home as well as having a family

00:17:31.380 that they really want to pursue. We can see that with the women of the RNC like I just recently

00:17:36.020 mentioned. Women like Nikki Haley or Elise Stefanik, they felt that they had a mission for the good of 0.99

00:17:42.420 America. And so they are out there fighting for that and that is part of their mission. And so as

00:17:47.700 mature women, they can really invest their time into being intentional with that mission and knowing 0.94

00:17:54.020 that this is how they're going to structure their life so that they can accomplish it. It's so important

00:17:58.740 to live out your God-given mission with courage and faith. When you have a mission, everything is

00:18:03.940 in service of that and it will make growing, changing, and improving all part of the journey.

00:18:08.660 Once you know what you want and who you are, you can live out the best version of you. You can change

00:18:16.020 for the better, grow for the better, and really fight for what matters to you and to the people in

00:18:21.700 your life who you love and care about. And that to me is reaching your potential as a classic woman,

00:18:27.300 is living out your mission, knowing who you are deep down, and really expressing that with the

00:18:34.580 intentionality of a mature woman. So those were my seven ways to grow from a girl to a classic woman.

00:18:41.540 Let me know in the comments if you have any other recommendations for the women in our classic crew

00:18:45.780 who are young women and who want to mature. I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts. Thank you guys so

00:18:50.340 much for watching today's video. Please subscribe to my channel and blog if you haven't already.

00:18:54.900 Head over to my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and follow me there. Hit that notification bell to

00:18:59.300 get notified of all my new videos. Hit that like button. Please head over to classicallyabbey.locals.com

00:19:04.340 if you'd like to support my channel, see more of this content, and be part of our community.

00:19:07.700 And I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye!

Classically Abby - September 03, 2020

7 Tips To Grow From A GIRL To A CLASSIC WOMAN ｜｜ Become the mature woman you were meant to be!

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