9 Life Lessons I Learned On My 29th Birthday! ⧸⧸ I'm almost 30, y'all 😱
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Summary
In this episode, Abby shares 9 lessons she learned on her 29th birthday. These are not related to each other, but they are some of the most important things she learned that she could have told her younger self.
Transcript
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Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where I'm going to be sharing nine lessons I
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learned on my 29th birthday. If you are new to my channel here we talk about classic living and
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traditional values and I would love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification
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bell. If you aren't already subscribed to my Substack newsletter where you'll get access to
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a ton of exclusive content including my book club, my AV club, my comment section for my podcast,
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make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com. I just turned 29. It was just my birthday which
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is very exciting and it's been such an incredible year. Truly probably the best year of my life. I
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had my son, we moved to Florida, we bought a house, we're living near family. I could not have asked for
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a more amazing year. It's been so, I'm so grateful and I wanted to share with you guys nine lessons
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that I learned on my 29th birthday. I considered doing 29 lessons I learned on my 29th birthday
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but that seemed like a lot so I figured I would just do nine and hopefully that's good enough.
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You know, they really run the gamut. These lessons, they just are, they're a whole list of things that
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are just not related to each other but they're all, I think, really important lessons to learn.
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So I'm really excited to share them with you guys today. So let's get into it. Number one is life may
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not turn out exactly as you pictured it but it will be better than you ever imagined. I grew up on a
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movie called Disney's The Kid. It's different from Charlie Chaplin's The Kid. That's why it's called
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Disney's The Kid. It's with Bruce Willis and Spencer Breslin and I absolutely love that film. I think
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it's a really wonderful movie. Very moving and in the movie there's a point at which Bruce Willis is
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talking to a woman and he asks her if you could tell your younger self anything to warn yourself
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about the future or to share any advice. What would you say? And the woman says, you know, I don't want
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to spoil anything. I don't want to share anything. I don't want to scare her. All I would say is,
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honey, it's going to be great. And that has stuck with me for so much of my life and even now,
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especially now, I think about how that's what I would say to my younger self is, Abby, everything
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is going to be better than you could ever imagine. I could not have guessed that this is what my life
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would look like when I was 18, when I was 20, when I was pursuing opera to the best of my ability
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and I hadn't yet met the man I wanted to marry. I knew I wanted to have children. I knew that I
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wanted to live near family, but I couldn't have anticipated that my life would turn out exactly
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the way that it did. That I'm getting to be at home with my son. That I get to be as involved as a
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mother and a homemaker as I am, that I am living in this incredible state. I would not have known or
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guessed. And if I had told myself this when I was 18 or 20, A, I wouldn't have believed it. But B,
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I might not have appreciated it at the time because I was pursuing something totally different. So
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all I could have told myself is, honey, it's all going to be great. And that would have been
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the best thing I could tell myself. And I'm so grateful for where I'm at. So if you are unsure
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of the future, just know that things may not turn out exactly as you planned, but it'll still be
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absolutely wonderful. Number two, being a mother is everything it's cracked up to be. When people tell
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you about motherhood, you, I know I did, I felt afraid. Like how, how can I feel this for someone
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I've never met? How do I know I'm going to love this baby when I don't necessarily love other people's
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babies? Like how am I going to be a good mom? And how am I going to absolutely love this thing
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everyone's telling me I'm going to love? Well, you do, you will. It's the best. Being a mom is the best
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thing that's ever happened to me. I cannot tell you how amazing it is from top to bottom. Those
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first 10, 12 weeks, those are hard. But once you make it through that, it, it's, there's nothing as
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good. There's nothing that will bring you meaning and fulfillment and purpose, like being a mother.
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You'll, and not only that, but it's fun. It's the, it's just so much fun. So yes, motherhood is
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absolutely everything it's cracked up to be. Number three is worries don't go away, but you'll get
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better at dealing with them. I think that we have this feeling of wanting to escape into the future
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when this thing that bothering me won't be there, or when I won't have anxiety anymore, or I won't have
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negative feelings anymore because I'll be older and I'll be better at life. Well, the fact of the
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matter is that anxiety, depression, not necessarily the condition of depression, but depressive
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feelings, that kind of stuff doesn't just disappear as you get older. It doesn't just go away, but you
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learn how to deal with it. So my anxiety that I used to have when I was 18 and felt totally overwhelmed
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by now at 29, I can say that I know how to deal with it better. I know how to say, this is an emotion
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I'm feeling, but it really has no root or basis in reality. And that kind of helps. It helps you go, okay,
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well, if that's the case, then I can just accept this is where I'm at right now without it taking over my
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whole life. I also think that when you're settled, when you have those big, huge life things resolved,
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aka getting married, where you're going to live, having children, then the worries and anxieties
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that you have, you can actually tell yourself that they're not a big deal because look at my life.
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It's amazing. It's I'm in a really good place. So it's not that as you get older, these concerns and
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worries go away. It's that you know how to handle it. You've learned, you've trained yourself, you've
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you've given yourself the opportunity to practice. And at this point, I can say that even though I
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still get those feelings, sometimes I also am better at handling them and working through them.
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Number four is take care of your body. So it takes care of you. I think after I had a baby,
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after being pregnant, while being pregnant, you realize how important it is to take care of your
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body because your body actually does start to hurt as you get older. I know I'm only 29. But after
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having a baby, there are things about my body that are just not as easy as they used to be. They're
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just a little more painful or a little bit more uncomfortable. And it's important that I do take
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care of my body that I try my best to eat healthy, not saying that I succeed every day, but trying my best
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that I exercise, that I keep my body moving. Those things really help and they really matter
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because as you get older, your body is the quality of life you live is based around how healthy your
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body is. So taking care of your body is really a top priority. If you can do that, then you're doing
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something right. And that's a big lesson I'm learning as I'm recovering from having a baby. You know,
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it wasn't a terrible pregnancy. It was actually a wonderful pregnancy and it wasn't a terrible
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birth. It was actually a pretty, pretty good birth overall. But just the process of having a baby
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really does take effect on your body. And so taking, taking good care of yourself is really important.
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Number five, family is everything. After having moved to Florida to be near my family, to be near my
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husband's parents, it's just been such a blessing having them around, knowing that I can call them
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when we need them, knowing that we can see them on a Sunday night just because we want to and that we
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can all get together. Family means so much and being involved as much as you can, really developing the
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relationships that you have, making them better, stronger, and enjoying them. That is so important.
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We live in a culture in a day and age where people really eschew family for friendships,
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depending on kind of how you grew up, where you grew up. But your family is important, especially
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if it's not, you know, a toxic relationship. If it's a really good, positive relationship,
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invest in it. Make sure that your kids know their cousins. Make sure that you're spending time with
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your siblings. Make sure that you're calling your parents every day, or if not every day, at least once
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a week. Really being part of your family is just one of the most important things. Number six, being
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part of a community is non-negotiable. Now that we live in a community, I can tell you with complete
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certainty that having lived without one was not good. If you can make it happen, make it happen. Be part of
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your church community. Be part of your synagogue community. Be involved. Have friends. Make sure
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that you're seeing them consistently. Know that there are people you can depend on. Know that you
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are a part of something bigger than yourself. These things are just important to being human. And acting
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as if it's secondary to your work or your job, it's just not true. Faith, family, community always come
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first. Number seven is you don't have to be rich to be happy. I think I used to grow up being like,
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so when I'm a millionaire and you always have this thing as you're as you're a kid. When I have a
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million dollars, this is what my life's going to look like. And then you get to adulthood and you're
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like, oh, not everyone is a millionaire. Okay. And you realize that money isn't what's always going to
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bring you happiness. It's really about, you know, being stable, having enough money that you are
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comfortable, that you're not constantly concerned and worried. But you don't have to be a millionaire
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to be happy. That idea of like, well, when I'm rich, I'm going to have a giant house. Why? You don't
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need it. To be happy, you need a house that can house you and your children and be a nice place for
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you all to live. Like, being rich isn't the thing. It's being stable. That's what's important. And if you can
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make that work, that's really all you need. Number eight, learn to speak your spouse's language,
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not their love language, their actual language. This is something that I've learned the last year
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over the last year is sometimes you grew up saying certain things and your spouse grew up saying certain
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things and it doesn't compute for the other one, if that makes sense. So today, when I was talking to
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him, I was about to say, I really want to get big bins for our garage because I want to organize
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our son's old clothing for our future children, hopefully. And it just makes me stressed out to
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have things just all over the place. That's how I wanted to say it. I knew if I said that I wouldn't
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get the most positive reaction because my husband doesn't want to hear that I'm stressed out because
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that makes him upset. Like, he doesn't want me to be stressed. He wants me to be happy.
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So what I said instead, as I was speaking, I like did a right turn. I swerved out of the way.
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And what I said was, what I'd really like to do is get some big bins because it would make me
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really happy to have everything organized for our next future baby. And that was where the
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conversation ended. There wasn't a conversation of like, oh, you're stressed. Why are you stressed?
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How can I help? It was just, yeah, it would make me happier to have these things organized.
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So one of the things I've learned is figuring out those words that bother your spouse and then
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realizing how to actually say the things that will make everybody happier in the long run.
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Say the things that position the conversation in a way that's comfortable for both of you.
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That's a big lesson I've learned. And I think that it's a simple one. It's a small one,
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but not always the easiest to put into practice. Number nine is work hard when you should,
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but embrace slow living the rest of the time. I work hard when I have to. I work hard for my
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my channel and for my sub stack and keeping the house clean and making dinner. But slow living is
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so important. And that's something I've really learned as a mom and as a wife, but mostly as a mom,
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that if I'm constantly work, work, work, work, work, work, work, running to get things done,
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then I'm not spending time to enjoy my son's childhood. I'm not spending time to enjoy him.
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And slow living has become so much more a part of my vernacular of it's okay to just take a few hours
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and for things not to get done. And that's good. If that means that I'm going to create a memory
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for him and for me and for my husband, it's so much nicer to get rid of the rat race and instead
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just love being alive, being a person and getting to enjoy this world.
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So those are my nine lessons on my 29th birthday. I hope you guys enjoyed today's video. Make sure to
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leave a comment down below. I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you are new to my channel, make sure
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to subscribe and hit that notification bell. And if you're not following me on social media,
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it's at Classically Abbey, absolutely everywhere. Make sure to head over to my sub stack and I'll