Classically Abby - 9 Life Lessons I Learned On My 29th Birthday! ⧸⧸ I'm almost 30, y'all 😱

00:00:00.000 Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where I'm going to be sharing nine lessons I

00:00:05.600 learned on my 29th birthday. If you are new to my channel here we talk about classic living and

00:00:15.780 traditional values and I would love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification

00:00:19.620 bell. If you aren't already subscribed to my Substack newsletter where you'll get access to

00:00:23.380 a ton of exclusive content including my book club, my AV club, my comment section for my podcast,

00:00:29.200 make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com. I just turned 29. It was just my birthday which

00:00:36.760 is very exciting and it's been such an incredible year. Truly probably the best year of my life. I

00:00:44.560 had my son, we moved to Florida, we bought a house, we're living near family. I could not have asked for

00:00:52.140 a more amazing year. It's been so, I'm so grateful and I wanted to share with you guys nine lessons

00:01:00.800 that I learned on my 29th birthday. I considered doing 29 lessons I learned on my 29th birthday

00:01:06.460 but that seemed like a lot so I figured I would just do nine and hopefully that's good enough.

00:01:13.880 You know, they really run the gamut. These lessons, they just are, they're a whole list of things that

00:01:19.740 are just not related to each other but they're all, I think, really important lessons to learn.

00:01:24.580 So I'm really excited to share them with you guys today. So let's get into it. Number one is life may

00:01:29.900 not turn out exactly as you pictured it but it will be better than you ever imagined. I grew up on a

00:01:36.360 movie called Disney's The Kid. It's different from Charlie Chaplin's The Kid. That's why it's called

00:01:41.820 Disney's The Kid. It's with Bruce Willis and Spencer Breslin and I absolutely love that film. I think

00:01:48.600 it's a really wonderful movie. Very moving and in the movie there's a point at which Bruce Willis is

00:01:57.240 talking to a woman and he asks her if you could tell your younger self anything to warn yourself

00:02:05.940 about the future or to share any advice. What would you say? And the woman says, you know, I don't want 1.00

00:02:13.460 to spoil anything. I don't want to share anything. I don't want to scare her. All I would say is,

00:02:19.020 honey, it's going to be great. And that has stuck with me for so much of my life and even now,

00:02:27.360 especially now, I think about how that's what I would say to my younger self is, Abby, everything

00:02:35.040 is going to be better than you could ever imagine. I could not have guessed that this is what my life

00:02:41.320 would look like when I was 18, when I was 20, when I was pursuing opera to the best of my ability

00:02:47.200 and I hadn't yet met the man I wanted to marry. I knew I wanted to have children. I knew that I

00:02:53.580 wanted to live near family, but I couldn't have anticipated that my life would turn out exactly

00:03:01.420 the way that it did. That I'm getting to be at home with my son. That I get to be as involved as a

00:03:07.940 mother and a homemaker as I am, that I am living in this incredible state. I would not have known or

00:03:15.700 guessed. And if I had told myself this when I was 18 or 20, A, I wouldn't have believed it. But B,

00:03:21.860 I might not have appreciated it at the time because I was pursuing something totally different. So

00:03:28.260 all I could have told myself is, honey, it's all going to be great. And that would have been

00:03:34.540 the best thing I could tell myself. And I'm so grateful for where I'm at. So if you are unsure

00:03:42.100 of the future, just know that things may not turn out exactly as you planned, but it'll still be

00:03:49.660 absolutely wonderful. Number two, being a mother is everything it's cracked up to be. When people tell

00:03:57.220 you about motherhood, you, I know I did, I felt afraid. Like how, how can I feel this for someone

00:04:03.820 I've never met? How do I know I'm going to love this baby when I don't necessarily love other people's

00:04:09.040 babies? Like how am I going to be a good mom? And how am I going to absolutely love this thing

00:04:14.060 everyone's telling me I'm going to love? Well, you do, you will. It's the best. Being a mom is the best

00:04:22.520 thing that's ever happened to me. I cannot tell you how amazing it is from top to bottom. Those

00:04:30.500 first 10, 12 weeks, those are hard. But once you make it through that, it, it's, there's nothing as

00:04:36.620 good. There's nothing that will bring you meaning and fulfillment and purpose, like being a mother.

00:04:43.160 You'll, and not only that, but it's fun. It's the, it's just so much fun. So yes, motherhood is

00:04:51.540 absolutely everything it's cracked up to be. Number three is worries don't go away, but you'll get

00:04:57.780 better at dealing with them. I think that we have this feeling of wanting to escape into the future

00:05:05.100 when this thing that bothering me won't be there, or when I won't have anxiety anymore, or I won't have

00:05:12.100 negative feelings anymore because I'll be older and I'll be better at life. Well, the fact of the

00:05:18.000 matter is that anxiety, depression, not necessarily the condition of depression, but depressive

00:05:24.100 feelings, that kind of stuff doesn't just disappear as you get older. It doesn't just go away, but you

00:05:32.960 learn how to deal with it. So my anxiety that I used to have when I was 18 and felt totally overwhelmed

00:05:41.820 by now at 29, I can say that I know how to deal with it better. I know how to say, this is an emotion

00:05:50.640 I'm feeling, but it really has no root or basis in reality. And that kind of helps. It helps you go, okay,

00:05:58.500 well, if that's the case, then I can just accept this is where I'm at right now without it taking over my

00:06:04.380 whole life. I also think that when you're settled, when you have those big, huge life things resolved,

00:06:13.360 aka getting married, where you're going to live, having children, then the worries and anxieties

00:06:20.580 that you have, you can actually tell yourself that they're not a big deal because look at my life.

00:06:24.560 It's amazing. It's I'm in a really good place. So it's not that as you get older, these concerns and

00:06:32.060 worries go away. It's that you know how to handle it. You've learned, you've trained yourself, you've

00:06:38.320 you've given yourself the opportunity to practice. And at this point, I can say that even though I

00:06:45.520 still get those feelings, sometimes I also am better at handling them and working through them.

00:06:51.640 Number four is take care of your body. So it takes care of you. I think after I had a baby,

00:06:57.960 after being pregnant, while being pregnant, you realize how important it is to take care of your

00:07:04.040 body because your body actually does start to hurt as you get older. I know I'm only 29. But after

00:07:09.860 having a baby, there are things about my body that are just not as easy as they used to be. They're

00:07:14.660 just a little more painful or a little bit more uncomfortable. And it's important that I do take

00:07:20.920 care of my body that I try my best to eat healthy, not saying that I succeed every day, but trying my best

00:07:26.620 that I exercise, that I keep my body moving. Those things really help and they really matter

00:07:34.620 because as you get older, your body is the quality of life you live is based around how healthy your

00:07:41.900 body is. So taking care of your body is really a top priority. If you can do that, then you're doing

00:07:48.860 something right. And that's a big lesson I'm learning as I'm recovering from having a baby. You know,

00:07:56.080 it wasn't a terrible pregnancy. It was actually a wonderful pregnancy and it wasn't a terrible

00:08:00.120 birth. It was actually a pretty, pretty good birth overall. But just the process of having a baby

00:08:05.540 really does take effect on your body. And so taking, taking good care of yourself is really important.

00:08:14.080 Number five, family is everything. After having moved to Florida to be near my family, to be near my

00:08:20.880 husband's parents, it's just been such a blessing having them around, knowing that I can call them

00:08:26.880 when we need them, knowing that we can see them on a Sunday night just because we want to and that we

00:08:32.400 can all get together. Family means so much and being involved as much as you can, really developing the

00:08:39.680 relationships that you have, making them better, stronger, and enjoying them. That is so important.

00:08:46.880 We live in a culture in a day and age where people really eschew family for friendships,

00:08:52.560 depending on kind of how you grew up, where you grew up. But your family is important, especially

00:08:58.640 if it's not, you know, a toxic relationship. If it's a really good, positive relationship,

00:09:02.640 invest in it. Make sure that your kids know their cousins. Make sure that you're spending time with

00:09:08.300 your siblings. Make sure that you're calling your parents every day, or if not every day, at least once

00:09:12.340 a week. Really being part of your family is just one of the most important things. Number six, being

00:09:19.300 part of a community is non-negotiable. Now that we live in a community, I can tell you with complete

00:09:25.860 certainty that having lived without one was not good. If you can make it happen, make it happen. Be part of

00:09:34.180 your church community. Be part of your synagogue community. Be involved. Have friends. Make sure

00:09:41.860 that you're seeing them consistently. Know that there are people you can depend on. Know that you

00:09:46.820 are a part of something bigger than yourself. These things are just important to being human. And acting

00:09:53.780 as if it's secondary to your work or your job, it's just not true. Faith, family, community always come

00:10:01.220 first. Number seven is you don't have to be rich to be happy. I think I used to grow up being like,

00:10:07.620 so when I'm a millionaire and you always have this thing as you're as you're a kid. When I have a

00:10:13.540 million dollars, this is what my life's going to look like. And then you get to adulthood and you're

00:10:17.140 like, oh, not everyone is a millionaire. Okay. And you realize that money isn't what's always going to

00:10:22.580 bring you happiness. It's really about, you know, being stable, having enough money that you are

00:10:27.700 comfortable, that you're not constantly concerned and worried. But you don't have to be a millionaire

00:10:32.980 to be happy. That idea of like, well, when I'm rich, I'm going to have a giant house. Why? You don't

00:10:39.620 need it. To be happy, you need a house that can house you and your children and be a nice place for

00:10:46.420 you all to live. Like, being rich isn't the thing. It's being stable. That's what's important. And if you can

00:10:53.620 make that work, that's really all you need. Number eight, learn to speak your spouse's language,

00:11:00.260 not their love language, their actual language. This is something that I've learned the last year

00:11:04.660 over the last year is sometimes you grew up saying certain things and your spouse grew up saying certain

00:11:12.020 things and it doesn't compute for the other one, if that makes sense. So today, when I was talking to

00:11:18.340 him, I was about to say, I really want to get big bins for our garage because I want to organize

00:11:24.900 our son's old clothing for our future children, hopefully. And it just makes me stressed out to

00:11:30.980 have things just all over the place. That's how I wanted to say it. I knew if I said that I wouldn't

00:11:36.900 get the most positive reaction because my husband doesn't want to hear that I'm stressed out because

00:11:40.260 that makes him upset. Like, he doesn't want me to be stressed. He wants me to be happy.

00:11:44.740 So what I said instead, as I was speaking, I like did a right turn. I swerved out of the way.

00:11:50.340 And what I said was, what I'd really like to do is get some big bins because it would make me

00:11:54.100 really happy to have everything organized for our next future baby. And that was where the

00:11:58.980 conversation ended. There wasn't a conversation of like, oh, you're stressed. Why are you stressed?

00:12:03.540 How can I help? It was just, yeah, it would make me happier to have these things organized.

00:12:08.340 So one of the things I've learned is figuring out those words that bother your spouse and then

00:12:15.620 realizing how to actually say the things that will make everybody happier in the long run.

00:12:22.820 Say the things that position the conversation in a way that's comfortable for both of you.

00:12:28.660 That's a big lesson I've learned. And I think that it's a simple one. It's a small one,

00:12:34.660 but not always the easiest to put into practice. Number nine is work hard when you should,

00:12:39.220 but embrace slow living the rest of the time. I work hard when I have to. I work hard for my

00:12:46.500 my channel and for my sub stack and keeping the house clean and making dinner. But slow living is

00:12:55.540 so important. And that's something I've really learned as a mom and as a wife, but mostly as a mom,

00:13:01.700 that if I'm constantly work, work, work, work, work, work, work, running to get things done,

00:13:07.140 then I'm not spending time to enjoy my son's childhood. I'm not spending time to enjoy him.

00:13:13.300 And slow living has become so much more a part of my vernacular of it's okay to just take a few hours

00:13:20.900 and for things not to get done. And that's good. If that means that I'm going to create a memory

00:13:26.900 for him and for me and for my husband, it's so much nicer to get rid of the rat race and instead 1.00

00:13:35.380 just love being alive, being a person and getting to enjoy this world.

00:13:41.460 So those are my nine lessons on my 29th birthday. I hope you guys enjoyed today's video. Make sure to

00:13:46.740 leave a comment down below. I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you are new to my channel, make sure

00:13:50.900 to subscribe and hit that notification bell. And if you're not following me on social media,

00:13:53.780 it's at Classically Abbey, absolutely everywhere. Make sure to head over to my sub stack and I'll

00:13:57.620 see you guys in my next video. Bye.

Classically Abby - November 15, 2022

9 Life Lessons I Learned On My 29th Birthday! ⧸⧸ I'm almost 30, y'all 😱

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