Classically Abby - Answering Your BURNING Questions! ⧸⧸ Livestream Q&A

00:00:00.000 hi can you guys hear me i'm using a new mic so i don't know if it's working and if it's not i

00:00:11.000 will switch to my old mic let me know in the comments can you hear me i'm gonna type it just

00:00:17.100 in case you can't um so we're just gonna wait for a few more people to hop on but i'm so excited to

00:00:26.380 have you guys here i've got my tea um and we're all just gonna we're gonna chill we're gonna

00:00:32.540 we're gonna chat a little bit um does the sound sound better i'm hoping that it does because i

00:00:39.160 i'm using like a fancy mic let me show you very fancy does it sound better um so i'm planning to

00:00:48.000 do is answer some of your guys's questions just chat a little bit as you can see i've got a new

00:00:53.020 sweater on from target so i am so cozy i'm so in the fall season i've got my tea i'm so i mean

00:01:01.960 tonight was jacob and i ended up going for an hour-long walk we were supposed to go not supposed

00:01:06.680 to but we had planned on going for like a short walk and then and it ended up being an hour so

00:01:12.580 that was really nice um but you know it's been a crazy couple of weeks i mean a week i mean oh my

00:01:20.860 gosh it's been a crazy time because it's been the jewish holidays um so as you guys know i've talked

00:01:26.560 about on my channel a bunch of times we had rosh hashena we had yom kippur we had um sukkot

00:01:32.500 and now is the end of sukkot so we had shemini at seret and then today was simchat torah so it thank

00:01:38.940 you for asking um it was good someone asked how simchat torah was it was good um and so we uh i we

00:01:47.080 had to race to jacob my husband is moderating tonight so everybody give him a big thank you

00:01:53.220 in the comments here so that uh because he's going to keep the comment section nice and good

00:01:58.120 for us all so that's really nice hi everybody um so it's been a crazy few weeks and now the holidays

00:02:05.360 are wrapping up so we can actually like live our lives in a little bit more of a routine that's not

00:02:11.700 to say i don't love the jewish holidays i do but finally we can like just let things get back

00:02:17.820 into the swing of things i can have a normal schedule and i don't have to feel so stressed

00:02:22.800 about figuring out when i'm going to vlog so if you guys didn't know the jewish holidays are um

00:02:28.180 they are similar to sabbath for us so we're not allowed to uh use electricity in in a certain sense

00:02:36.720 so i'm not allowed to vlog my day and so that means that three days out of the week i was not

00:02:44.760 able to vlog at all so trying to figure out a day that i could vlog and that i also wasn't crazy trying

00:02:51.380 to get my work done in that in those other four days was so hard uh but we did it we're through it

00:02:57.400 we did it um oh someone is asking about the twilight imperium game

00:03:03.940 haha um it that was the game that we played uh and i talked about it in my vlog um if you haven't

00:03:12.860 watched that go and watch it because i talked about it a little bit and i showed you what my

00:03:16.220 themed setup for the board game which was so silly everyone got on board it was awesome um but

00:03:23.560 the game is insane i'm so proud of myself that i participated i like board games jacob loves board

00:03:30.840 games he's like even more intense than i am about board well rather he's very intense about board games

00:03:36.340 and i i'm like i'm into some board games um this kind of board game is like the most intense board

00:03:42.940 game you can play it is a million hours long and you have to understand every little nitty gritty

00:03:49.420 thing and it's so much um but i did it and i participated and it takes place in space and

00:03:54.940 you all have different factions and you're trying to get victory points basically um so one of the

00:04:01.060 things that i did to make it more fun is you get into little wars you get you have to do these agenda

00:04:05.680 phases where everyone is like in a court and we all vote on things uh so i bought silly masks from

00:04:11.360 the dollar tree and everyone pulled them down when we got into into combat and when we were in

00:04:17.060 in court and it was hilarious i loved it um yes okay i have heard this a number of times now

00:04:24.320 to the people who are mentioning it gloomhaven we own it we've played it we haven't played it

00:04:30.080 regularly if we ever have a house that's big enough where we can have like a basement with just a board

00:04:36.540 game table we'd probably set it up and just let it sit there and then we could play it whenever we

00:04:41.680 wanted but taking it out and putting it back is just a whole process so we haven't had the

00:04:45.960 opportunity to play it as often as i like but i actually really like gloomhaven because it's

00:04:50.280 similar it's like playing uh an rpg video game but on a tabletop which is really cool uh for all of

00:04:57.880 you guys who know nothing about board games or video games i'm really sorry i'm going on and on

00:05:02.620 but so much of my life has been taken up by this because my husband's hobby and uh he's taught me to

00:05:09.220 love this stuff too so yes thank you guys so much oh my gosh everyone is in the comments it's so nice

00:05:16.720 i love it so much um so as you guys know this is my live stream q and a i do it once a month

00:05:23.760 and i answer questions from my premium subscribers on sub stack so if you would like to submit real

00:05:30.800 questions uh we will i'll answer every so often some of the smaller questions here but if you want to

00:05:35.620 if you want to submit bigger real questions make sure to subscribe to my sub stack which is

00:05:41.500 classicallyabby.substack.com and it's only seven dollars a month and oh my gosh you get so much

00:05:46.940 exclusive content and i say this only because i have to put out all of the content myself so

00:05:52.060 you get access to my exclusive podcast you get weekly articles you get to submit questions for this

00:05:57.560 you get to submit content pitch ideas uh you get access to my book club it's it's a really really

00:06:02.840 cool thing and if you decide to sign up for the whole year you actually get two months for free

00:06:05.760 so classicallyabby.substack.com make sure to sign up if you haven't already so that you guys can

00:06:11.460 submit questions for stuff like this but we should probably start to get into it um let's do this so

00:06:18.300 i'm going to pull up the questions here thank you to those of you guys who are my premium subscribers

00:06:22.860 who did submit questions i generally don't like to say people's names just in case anything they asked

00:06:28.240 was private so i won't be asking i won't be saying people's names but thank you so much for submitting

00:06:33.240 questions um let's see and just before i get started i'm just hopping into the chat here to see

00:06:40.260 if there's anything that i want to mention okay someone asked if i can link my spotify somewhere

00:06:45.780 yes i will go ahead and do that at some point um and i will make it available for you guys and then

00:06:52.720 um yes jacob got me a book what is the book called oh i'm trying to remember

00:06:59.220 he can if he he's listening he maybe he can text it to me and i'll be able to tell you

00:07:05.420 oh the glute lab um which i really i love it i know it sounds like oh why are you only doing

00:07:11.940 exercises for your glutes but actually your glutes are one of the biggest muscles in your body and they

00:07:15.620 support so much of your body it's actually a really good thing to make it really strong

00:07:19.760 um and i also like those exercises so that was the book jacob got me it's huge but they also have

00:07:25.500 like great workout routines throughout it so i really like it and i recommend it um okay let's do

00:07:32.860 this sorry getting caught up in things so let's start off with the first question hi abby my question

00:07:40.440 for you is what advice would you give to someone who is looking to start a new journey of faith with

00:07:45.940 god your openness about your own journey and faith and what you've learned so far has inspired me to

00:07:51.640 return to my roots and rethink how i truly feel about god despite spending years with little faith

00:07:56.960 and a negative viewpoint on religion as a whole there still remains in a corner of my mind a small flame

00:08:02.980 of faith and curiosity that's calling to me thanks well that's a wonderful question um i mean as you

00:08:11.200 guys know i'm super open about my faith journey here i grew up i will kind of give a small recap i grew

00:08:17.520 up modern orthodox i moved to new york and there i started to stray from my faith um most of that was

00:08:26.380 due to the people i surrounded myself with when i was removed from a religious jewish community like i grew

00:08:34.400 up in at home a religious jewish community made up of families then i was then moved into a community

00:08:42.000 of singles and people who i had bad experiences with and so i started to relate my judaism and my religion

00:08:51.440 to the these people's bad practice of it and i felt betrayed by my religion when really that was an unfair

00:09:01.760 uh kind of idea for me to come to conclusion for me to draw rather i had tied the practice of my of my

00:09:13.200 religion with the people who like with the way they practiced it these people who have practiced it and

00:09:20.320 did it wrong and we're not really practicing it i tied that with the religion as a whole and it really

00:09:26.960 drove me away from my faith and i had to but i still had that calling and i still had that relationship

00:09:33.600 with god and i had to take time and invest time into rediscovering my love of the religion and of the

00:09:45.920 faith and i knew that i wanted to do those things so i took a few notes because i wanted to make sure i gave

00:09:53.680 you the best answer so the first thing is exactly what i just mentioned the way that some people

00:10:01.440 practice their faith or this the way some people will say that they're religious and then act totally

00:10:07.360 not religious has nothing to do with the faith itself with the religion itself the religion okay you

00:10:15.200 know how i've talked about on my channel we're gonna take a little detour you know i've talked about

00:10:18.800 on my channel classic how classic is something we should all aspire to that we're not going to get

00:10:24.560 there every day but it's definitely something that we can try to be faith is like that religion is like

00:10:30.560 that where we're all making an effort to be as faithful as we can over time and there's this beautiful

00:10:38.400 ideal of the person who keeps everything and understands everything and we're just human and

00:10:45.920 we're all just trying to reach that ideal and it's a practice it's something we do every day

00:10:51.680 but the people who don't keep the who who say that they're religious and aren't actually keeping

00:10:58.080 any of that that has nothing to do with the religion itself the religion is still the ideal

00:11:03.120 and i allowed myself to get really derailed by that because i had such bad experiences with people

00:11:09.440 who said they were religious who said they were jewish and did not act that way at all so

00:11:13.840 if that is part of the reason that you felt pulled away know why you were pulled away in the first

00:11:21.520 place so if that was part of the reason okay explore that if there was another reason explore that but

00:11:26.240 know why you were initially pulled away from your faith because then you can explore how to fix that

00:11:34.880 because there's been a rent in your relationship to god and to your religion so if you can take the

00:11:42.960 time to figure out the source of when you started feeling less connected then you can work on it and

00:11:50.080 fix it and clearly you still have something pulling you towards the faith which is a beautiful wonderful

00:11:54.640 thing to have that kind of impulse to reconnect with god and reconnect with your religion so one of the

00:12:04.640 the things i recommend is exploring the faith by learning it exploring your religion by learning

00:12:10.800 about it so whenever i have a question now i don't just push it aside i ask it i go to a faith leader

00:12:17.760 for me it's a rabbi for you it might be someone else and i ask those questions and i ask and make sure

00:12:24.240 that i really understand why i'm doing what i'm doing so that it doesn't feel like i can't ask those questions

00:12:29.920 you can the people who are faith leaders want you to ask those questions they don't want you

00:12:36.320 to feel totally isolated and alone in your faith this is something i've really had to learn is that

00:12:41.040 i used to feel embarrassed and ashamed that i had these questions at all and so i didn't want to ask

00:12:45.040 anyone and i realize now that was such a mistake my rabbis your whoever priests whatever it is they

00:12:53.360 want to help you they want to help you stay religious so if that means that they take the time

00:12:59.200 time to sit down with you and answer your questions that's what they're gonna do they're not going to

00:13:04.160 think you're crazy for having had questions in the first place everyone has questions it's it's it's hard

00:13:10.240 but that doesn't mean it's not worth it um and then my last thing is be in a community once you've

00:13:17.600 gotten past the initial hump of like okay i want to try and pursue this then you need to be in a community

00:13:25.920 jacob and i have been learning this over and over i've talked about this on my channel

00:13:29.280 now um a couple of times that we were in a religious community when we lived in omaha and then

00:13:36.880 right now we're kind of in a transition period we're not really in a community and our practice

00:13:42.000 has really struggled in that time because community is so important having those people around you who

00:13:48.320 share your faith and want to bolster you so important um so finding a community and not just

00:13:55.360 one of people who don't really like invest their time but people who are actually invested and part

00:14:01.680 of a community that's going to make a huge huge difference and religion is something you live out

00:14:06.320 in small ways it's not something that's like huge big you know all the time you're seeing it every

00:14:13.440 day in in these big miraculous ways it's just everything that you do you see god and everything

00:14:18.480 you do in a small way so that is my question that is my answer to your question um let's see if anyone

00:14:26.640 said anything here in the comments i just want to make sure um yeah i i think i think a lot of us

00:14:36.160 understand this feeling about kind of having struggling with faith i mean i can see that you

00:14:42.640 know it's it's something that we all struggle with and it's also something we all feel strength from

00:14:47.200 you know it's it's a mixture it's an interesting thing is i feel so blessed to have god i mean

00:14:52.960 when the worst things in my life have happened i've turned to god uh and i felt so comforted by that

00:15:00.080 but it also it's it's hard and that doesn't that doesn't mean it's easy so that that is

00:15:08.240 question number one so let's move on to the next question okay that was frustrating thank you guys

00:15:18.000 for sticking it out so here's what happened i'll give you a little update i i'm gonna move this mic

00:15:23.920 away from me now because that was frightening i um just unplugged the mic from here and from like the

00:15:33.520 mic itself uh and the sound just disappeared and then i tried replugging it didn't work tried unplugging

00:15:40.960 it using the computer microphone didn't work so that wasn't great so when this video does go up after

00:15:49.600 after after i do the live stream i'm gonna have to edit these two pieces together but that's what

00:15:56.560 happened uh but i'm back ah sorry about that i'm so glad you guys hopped over and were able to come

00:16:02.720 over and see what we were doing so we answered question number one um and that was great i'm so

00:16:09.920 i'm so happy so many of you guys are still able to come over and see what we're doing because some

00:16:14.480 people might be caught in between not sure what's going on but we did it before we get into the next

00:16:20.240 question i wanted to quickly mention that i uh i recently redid my nails and i really like the color

00:16:28.240 um and i just think it's very like pretty and natural so i just wanted to show it i don't know

00:16:32.240 i feel really it's like a little bit more than just a light pink but i like the color a lot so let me

00:16:39.520 know what you guys think okay so let's move on to the next question um the question is i love movies

00:16:47.760 especially marvel superhero movies if you could be any superhero or have any superpower who or what

00:16:54.800 would you choose so i love that question um i you know jacob and i don't love superhero movies anymore

00:17:04.640 i i used to really like them of course i love the original superman like with christopher reed that's

00:17:09.760 a great movie um and i used to enjoy them but then they became like the only movies that come out in

00:17:15.280 theaters so then i i didn't enjoy it as much but that doesn't mean i don't like superhero movies it

00:17:20.800 just means it's kind of like what what would you call it over saturation i would say but if i had to

00:17:27.680 choose a superpower i was talking to jacob about this i would choose healing um and and the reason

00:17:35.440 for that is all of the other superpowers are things that would be like fun and maybe even useful but

00:17:44.800 when somebody is sick or you're sick that's the time that you wish for a miracle more than any other

00:17:52.160 time so if i could heal people then or heal myself both of those things not just healing me i would

00:17:59.280 want it to be healing other people um then i feel like i would i would be so grateful for that because

00:18:07.440 that's like the most stressed you're ever that you ever are and and the time that you you wish that

00:18:13.600 you had a superpower more than anything so that's that's what i i wish is that i had a superpower that i

00:18:20.640 could heal people because uh gosh it's just the worst uh to be sick and to see other people be sick

00:18:27.040 um so that's my thing but if i was gonna do one that's a little bit more like fun um but also so

00:18:33.920 useful i would do teleportation i talked to jake about this all the time too which is like if we

00:18:40.640 could teleport we could live wherever we wanted and we could teleport wherever we needed to go like

00:18:47.840 every day for work and it would take a second how crazy is that that's like amazing is that like

00:18:54.000 you could just live in paris and commute to new york you you would never have to turn down a job

00:19:03.120 based on location you would never have to like move away from family you could live with your family

00:19:10.480 live near your family and go to work across the world that would be so cool i i really i think

00:19:18.000 about that a lot like i wait for a time in history where that becomes a thing where you're where this

00:19:24.720 i just what if in the future that becomes a thing we just can teleport ah that'd be amazing everything

00:19:31.440 be so close okay so those are my two those are my two ideas okay um next up so this was actually a

00:19:43.360 content pitch idea which is um i'm a christian and i find any information about jewish holidays

00:19:50.000 fascinating i would love for you to do a video about the holidays like which ones are considered

00:19:53.760 more important which ones you like the most and why and just more details in general about the meaning

00:19:58.560 behind the more religious holidays so at some point i might do this into a video but i figured

00:20:02.800 i would touch on it right now um so one of the there are a lot of jewish holidays um and a few that

00:20:10.720 you probably have never even heard of which makes it difficult when you need to take off a day for work

00:20:15.360 or for school uh so that you can keep the jewish holiday that makes things tricky because people are 1.00

00:20:20.480 like i've never even heard of shavuot um but it's a real thing so the holidays that are the most

00:20:28.480 important uh are called the shalosh regalim which are like the three holidays where we used to go up

00:20:34.880 to the temple and so this is outside of yom kippur which is the biggest fast of the year and it's super

00:20:41.840 important but the shalosh regalim are sukkot shavuot and is it rosh hashanah

00:20:50.880 okay now i can't remember the third one i think it's rosh hashanah um and those are like the most

00:20:58.160 important my favorite jewish holiday is sukkot i love sukkot so nice oh it's pesach

00:21:05.440 sorry that was obvious uh passover so passover sukkot and festival of booths and shavuot which is

00:21:12.400 i believe pentecost in english so oh those are the three big jewish holidays but my favorite jewish holiday

00:21:19.440 is sukkot we also have a few jewish holidays that are not as important but are still really fun so

00:21:25.760 hanukkah hanukkah is not a hugely important jewish holiday but it is a super fun jewish holiday and

00:21:31.440 it's right around uh the holidays for christians so that's also nice is that we get to celebrate

00:21:36.960 our own holiday while you guys are celebrating christmas and of course as you guys know i love

00:21:41.200 christmas cheer so i love when everyone is happy and celebrating their faith i think that's awesome

00:21:46.960 um yeah i think that that's kind of a short version to that question short answer so the next question

00:21:56.560 is what fashion outfits fashion outfit advice or tips you can give someone who is very active i paddle

00:22:06.640 paddleboard and boulder around the world so i travel a lot too my closet is mostly just just athletic

00:22:13.600 wear super comfortable great for both working out and sitting on a plane or running through an airport

00:22:18.480 but i do feel schlubby sometimes even though what i wear is definitely a reflection of my style

00:22:23.280 any suggestions on how to throw in a piece of something modest feminine but still keep everything 0.97

00:22:28.880 comfy so i think there's something i i want to quickly say i i'm not somebody who generally

00:22:37.600 considers athletic wear fashion i consider it more um practical uh but that's not to say that if that's

00:22:45.600 your style you can't make it work and make it your fashion i mean it's just that for me i tend to think

00:22:52.080 of athletic wear as athletic wear and it's like in its own category but if i want to like be fashionable

00:22:59.040 i put on something else so keeping that in mind and where i'm at uh what i would say is for traveling

00:23:07.840 finding a comfortable cardigan like this one uh that's like long especially if you're planning on

00:23:13.520 wearing leggings because you guys know where i stand on modesty and leggings uh you want to wear

00:23:18.480 something that covers your bottom wearing a long like comfy sweater uh and cardigan that maybe has a

00:23:25.600 belt that's a very beautiful feminine addition to your clothing especially because planes get cold 0.99

00:23:31.760 and i think it's always nice to have something warm and cozy on a plane but it also adds just

00:23:35.760 a little bit something extra than like a sweatshirt i feel like a sweatshirt can look like you said a

00:23:42.000 little schlubby so having like a nice cardigan is always nice a loose blazer can always look great

00:23:48.960 something that's fitted looks great too you can throw that on top of anything but if you wanted to get

00:23:53.120 something that's like a little bit less structured that'll still look really very classic and beautiful

00:23:59.440 um what else i mean i'm somebody who tends to think that dresses are really comfortable so if you find

00:24:09.280 the right kind of dress then you can kind of incorporate that into your wardrobe now are you

00:24:14.080 going to wear that when you're when you're paddle boarding no are you gonna wear that when you're

00:24:19.120 being very very active probably not uh but just going out and about in your life i think that

00:24:25.040 wearing a a comfortable dress is a nice is a nice thing to have in your closet you can get the i mean

00:24:32.160 anything that's like a stretchy cotton is gonna be like a comfortable dress and you can usually find

00:24:36.400 stuff that has like a cute drawstring waist or just bring some definition to your body that that defines

00:24:42.960 the the the prettiest parts of you and accentuates the prettiest parts of you so i i would recommend

00:24:49.520 that and um i'm trying to think what else i mean i assume if you're more athletic you prefer to wear

00:24:58.080 pants so finding feminine tops i feel like that's really the thing is that if you can if you're wearing

00:25:03.840 a lot of pants because you're athletic find tops that have like really feminine details and classic 1.00

00:25:09.440 details so like i don't know a little a little cap sleeve or some lace things that accentuate

00:25:16.160 your femininity and make you feel womanly and classic those are going to just add a little bit 1.00

00:25:21.680 of something to your outfits that doesn't actually make you less comfortable like you can still live

00:25:30.160 live your life again most of this is not going to be super appropriate if you're going out and you're

00:25:35.440 doing something like physically active but at that moment i don't think that you care that much about

00:25:40.800 staying classic we're talking about like your general wardrobe if you're going to be out and about doing

00:25:45.120 something super physical yeah just wear physical clothing like it's okay okay let's see and what else

00:25:54.880 um yeah people are asking about the best places to buy long dresses and stuff like that

00:26:00.800 i'd definitely say i mean i've found some great things thrifting number one great place number two

00:26:11.360 um amazon sometimes has some awesome things target is like way into the prairie dresses lately so 0.99

00:26:18.480 everything is really really comfortable with them and is and is modest which i love and um i'm trying

00:26:25.760 to think of where else i shop i mean i'm very flexible i tend to look my mom and i were talking about

00:26:30.080 this in my last q a we tend to look at all different stores and just see what we come up with because

00:26:36.800 we have like certain restrictions that we prefer to dress by so tj maxx as you guys know i shop a lot

00:26:42.560 at tj maxx tj maxx has things that would never work for me and that would not be modest at all and then

00:26:48.800 they have other things that are great and i would totally wear so that's that's where uh i would

00:26:54.640 recommend if you're like looking for specific stores i gave you a few that i shop at because

00:27:00.400 i prefer to buy things that are slightly more affordable but oh my gosh there are some i just

00:27:06.080 need to mention there are some brands on instagram that are like a little bit out of my price range but

00:27:10.160 are so modest and so beautiful and i wish i could own dresses like that because they're so feminine 1.00

00:27:17.840 trying to think i think one's called ivy and co or ivy is city and co i'm not sure which one and they

00:27:24.320 do like matching dresses with mothers and daughters oh so cute and they're like beautiful and then

00:27:31.120 there's um i know rachel parcel designs a lot of dresses that are like very beautiful long enough 0.99

00:27:37.040 feminine uh that kind of thing so someone was asking about the scoop i do want to briefly mention 0.96

00:27:43.280 that so the scoop i stopped doing because i use my vlogs as a way to talk to you guys um i also am

00:27:51.760 doing my podcast now so i chat about that if you want access to my exclusive podcast then that is

00:27:57.520 available on my sub stack so for any of you guys who are new over here uh who just joined uh the

00:28:03.680 questions that i'm answering are for my premium sub stack subscribers so if you're interested in signing

00:28:07.920 up and becoming a member then you can head over to classicallyabby.substack.com and you'll get access to

00:28:12.480 eight ton of exclusive content which i already mentioned and i don't want to repeat for so many

00:28:16.480 of you guys who are here and have been here since the beginning so yes um okay so let's see how many

00:28:26.000 more questions do we have oh we've got a few more so i'm gonna only answer maybe two more okay so number

00:28:34.240 two let's start with this one do you think it is possible to be too familiar with your spouse i have

00:28:41.680 a close friend who her and her husband literally have no decorum between them not even in basic

00:28:46.560 manners or hygiene i do think it's possible to be too familiar with your spouse so the thing that you

00:28:53.680 have to keep in mind i'm just going to be blunt is that this is somebody who you love and you're

00:28:59.600 comfortable with but also who you want to stay attracted to you and i think that we take this for

00:29:04.000 granted in today's day and age where we act as though you know my they should be attracted to

00:29:10.400 me no matter what we made a giant commitment of course you made a commitment and of course you're

00:29:13.360 going to stay together but the kindness of going out of your way to stay attractive for your partner

00:29:19.520 since they are not going to stray is a very important one so it's a very important kindness to

00:29:25.840 try your best to maintain hygiene and try to maintain you know your looks and maintain certain

00:29:33.040 boundaries i mean in orthodox judaism there are certain rules that are actually part of this which

00:29:39.200 is maintaining a little bit of separation not separation in emotion in an emotional way but but

00:29:45.120 keeping keeping up those boundaries of like decorum and hygiene so that you guys actually stay i don't

00:29:56.000 know respectful of each other um so you know not using the bathroom in front of each other i think

00:30:02.480 that's a good rule you know i know some people are flexible on that i i tend to not be i think that

00:30:09.280 it's important not to be using the restroom in front of each other generally i think that's a good rule

00:30:15.840 um i put in an effort to you know shave and and take care of myself and exercise and jacob exercises so

00:30:24.480 that the two of us look good for each other um sorry there's a fly in here i mentioned that in the

00:30:30.320 last live stream i think uh so that's we're dealing with that right now but and i think that that's really

00:30:36.640 just an important oh sorry right in my eye uh concept to to encourage is that you want to be open and

00:30:46.480 honest with each other always but you love each other enough that you want to stay stay attractive

00:30:54.960 for one another and that means treating each other sort of like you're still dating sometimes that's

00:31:00.480 a good thing um so that's that's what i'm what i'm thinking and that's what i think someone said

00:31:08.160 they're so bad at boundaries closing the bathroom door might be a good place to start yeah i think

00:31:12.240 that's a good place to start and it's pretty easy you just kind of like shut the door before you go in

00:31:16.880 um and of course you can always rebuild those boundaries which is actually really nice i know

00:31:21.760 people might think that like oh once you've done that you can't take a step back but you absolutely

00:31:26.400 can i mean think about it if you if you use the restroom in front of your husband about a lot 0.80

00:31:32.160 then all of a sudden you stop i mean that's that's a good thing it does it it's not like you've broken

00:31:38.400 that boundary now you can actually reinstate it and that's okay um so let's move on to the very last

00:31:46.240 question which is why do people suddenly turn cold in friendships with no explanation when nothing went

00:31:55.520 sour in the relationship nor was there an argument or a disagreement i came across this question and

00:32:02.080 i was really excited to answer it and it is a hundred percent because of my husband that i know

00:32:08.720 the answer to this question so i didn't used to be a good friend and i will explain that what i mean is

00:32:20.240 i didn't use to pursue a problem with a friend of mine if if something came up so if my friend offended

00:32:31.040 me or something like that i wouldn't reach out to them i wouldn't say to them you know this upset me

00:32:38.720 i would just let it fester privately and not really mention it i might pull away and the friendship would

00:32:46.800 fizzle out and i thought to myself that's normal people don't people don't talk to each other about

00:32:52.160 this kind of stuff conflict gross and i would i would allow myself to distance myself from friends

00:33:01.040 and lose friends because i was afraid of conflict and when i met jacob he said to me you know the

00:33:08.320 it's actually real friendship to um it's real friendship when you can have conflict with that

00:33:16.800 person when you reach out to them and you tell them that something they did upset you or bothered you

00:33:21.360 and they may not even know it and they don't know that they have to apologize to you because

00:33:25.120 they don't even know and i thought to myself oh my god this is really like that's okay i just didn't

00:33:32.320 even know that that was allowed and i think that's what happens often people offend each other without

00:33:40.000 even knowing and if they knew they would never ever do that or they would immediately apologize

00:33:45.680 but the other person is so awkward and so nervous about like getting into a conflict that they don't

00:33:52.000 reach out and say you upset me and if they did that relationship would 100 stay intact but if they

00:34:00.480 don't that relationship gets cold and it sours and people lose touch that's why that happens is that

00:34:08.240 something happened that you didn't know offended the other person or vice versa and then nobody followed

00:34:19.840 up because nobody wanted to get into that conflict that is the worst possible scenario for friendships

00:34:27.520 and those are the friendships that fall apart the friendships that stay together and you stay close

00:34:31.840 with that person are the friendships where when something frustrating or upsetting has happened

00:34:36.880 you reach out and you say it and there might be an initial frustration and conflict but after that

00:34:42.800 initial frustration and conflict the friendship is stronger so that's why that happens now you know

00:34:49.840 if you don't if this is happening to you right now maybe reach out to that friend and say

00:34:54.240 do you know why this is going on did i do something that upset you

00:34:57.360 and i i don't even know that i did it and you might find out that that you did so maybe that friendship

00:35:04.320 is still is still in a space where you guys can can mend fences but it is it is difficult when you don't

00:35:10.400 even know why because you're the one who's out of the loop so that's what i would say um let's see what

00:35:17.760 some of you guys have to say and then i'm gonna we're gonna sign off so let's let's see

00:35:27.360 um well i mean someone was saying that they put up walls and friendships when

00:35:34.160 they find something out about someone that makes you lose respect no longer inside of their company

00:35:38.640 well that's different right i mean there are situations where somebody does something very

00:35:43.040 obvious and you're like okay i don't want to be friends with you anymore and you just let the

00:35:46.480 friendship you ghost to the friendship in a way i mean that that's another situation but but often

00:35:52.320 it's it's the first scenario and in that situation if somebody's doing something wrong i mean you

00:35:59.680 should tell them maybe they don't know that they're doing something wrong and you could help maybe they

00:36:04.480 would grow uh but also protecting yourself is not a bad thing if you are not in a scenario where you

00:36:10.640 can if you're not in a situation where you can handle that protecting yourself is not a bad thing it's

00:36:16.000 okay to say okay i need a little bit of distance from this person let's see um i think that's it

00:36:24.960 but you guys have some great comments i really appreciate you tuning in tonight so this was a lot

00:36:30.720 of fun and i'm sorry about the uh the mic situation in the last segment of the last live stream but thank

00:36:37.920 you guys so much for coming over to this one um i really appreciated it so if you didn't already know

00:36:44.080 i will finish off by just letting you know that you should subscribe to my youtube channel first and

00:36:49.120 foremost so that you can see all of my regular content i do one vlog a week and one normal video

00:36:55.120 a week where i talk about being classic and being more traditional values and classic living and stuff

00:37:01.360 like that uh so feel free to subscribe and hit that notification bell and you should also make sure to

00:37:08.320 subscribe to my sub stack and become a premium subscriber so you can get access to a ton of exclusive

00:37:12.800 content like this where you can submit questions for videos just like this one so make sure to head

00:37:18.720 over there it's classicallyabby.substack.com and i'll see you guys in my next video bye

Classically Abby - September 30, 2021

Answering Your BURNING Questions! ⧸⧸ Livestream Q&A

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