In today's episode, we are doing a relationship Q&A from a conservative perspective. I have done this before, and I had a lot of questions, so I thought it would be fun to do a part 2.
00:00:00.000Hello, beautiful ladies, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be doing a relationship Q&A from a conservative perspective.
00:00:09.760A couple of weeks ago, I asked you guys on Instagram to share any relationship questions that you guys have.
00:00:15.140I've done this before, and I had a lot of questions then, and I thought I would do like a part two.
00:00:20.020We could do a part three if you guys are interested. Let me know in the comments below.
00:00:23.200Maybe we'll do another one of these, but I just think these are really fun, and it's a good way for us to have some girl chat.
00:00:27.800So let's hop in and see what you guys had questions about.
00:00:31.120So the first question is, it's been difficult trying to meet a guy in church, not going back to apps ever again. Any advice?
00:00:38.220My take is that if you want to find somebody who's in your faith, that means you want to find someone who shares your values.
00:00:44.240So finding activities that you might see someone from your church or from your faith at would be a really good way to meet the people that you would want to meet.
00:00:53.080So, for example, volunteering. If that's something that's valuable to you, you might meet someone there because they would also share that value.
00:01:00.280If you have any friends who are willing to set you up, you should definitely reach out to them.
00:01:04.220If you have a married friend, for example, and you really like her husband, ask if her husband has any single friends that he could set you up with.
00:01:10.060But my husband and I were actually set up by a mutual friend, so I am a big fan of if someone knows you and they know the guy, then they might be able to create a match for you.
00:01:21.060I also think that it can be really difficult to meet someone at church because people go to church for different reasons and it's not always to meet someone.
00:01:28.520But it's just creating that friend group that is there to watch out for you and has your best interests at heart will help with the whole dating process anyways.
00:01:37.120But you can also talk to some of your friends and see if they'd be willing to work with you to set up some sort of mixer so that the people who share your faith and are from your church or from other churches in the area that follow your belief system would be invited to and then you guys could all kind of meet and mingle in that scenario,
00:01:55.040which is slightly less of a pressure cooker than being at church and trying to meet people.
00:02:00.160You can also do something like a book club so it doesn't necessarily have to feel like a mixer where it's like, oh, we're here to meet people, but, oh, we're just having a situation where I like books, they like books, and maybe I can meet someone who we might end up hitting it off.
00:02:13.600Those kinds of things, going out of your way to set up scenarios where you can meet someone, asking your friends, those are all things I think are really valuable when you're trying to meet a guy.
00:02:22.060The next one is, getting so discouraged with dating. Tips on how to stay positive?
00:02:27.300Dating is really hard, and I remember I absolutely hated it for most of it.
00:02:32.420When you meet the right person, all of a sudden that stress that you don't even know that you have goes away because there's just kind of this calm that settles over you.
00:02:40.520So I totally get it. It is really hard to stay positive.
00:02:43.660But what I found really helped was kind of taking the time that I was single and dating and using it in a way that I was never going to be able to use it again.
00:02:51.020So I would go out on dates by myself, I would take myself to lunch, I would bring a book, I might even get a glass of wine, I would go to see a movie by myself, I would walk around museums, and I would really enjoy this time.
00:03:02.860Because being single is really hard, but there are things about being single that are really fun, and if you can take advantage of those things, then you will have a great time.
00:03:13.060For example, if I were to just like take an entire day and take myself out when my husband has a day off, it wouldn't really make sense.
00:03:20.440We don't get that much time together when he's working, so we would want to take the whole day together.
00:03:25.260But when you're single, you can actually take an entire day just for yourself.
00:03:29.960And as far as dating, I would say if you're a religious person, keep praying, keep remembering that God has a plan for you.
00:03:36.700You'll meet somebody when the time is right, and if you haven't met someone yet, then that means that there's more for you to do on your own.
00:03:44.040But just remembering that you're a special person, there is someone out there for you, those kinds of things, those kind of good thoughts.
00:03:51.240I'm a huge fan of affirmations, so writing down something every single day like,
00:03:56.480I will meet the right person in the right time, and just kind of saying that to yourself every day, those are so helpful.
00:04:02.640Huge fan of affirmations, really recommend them, maybe that would help too.
00:04:06.560But I do understand that it is hard to date, and I hope that you meet the right person soon.
00:04:10.720The next question I have is, is the age gap really that big of a deal in a relationship?
00:04:16.060So in my opinion, there are a couple of levels to that.
00:04:18.420I think that a big age gap causes problems when someone feels that they have more life experience than the other person,
00:04:25.800and therefore doesn't take that person as seriously.
00:04:28.500So when a guy is 10, 15, 20 years older than a woman, then he might not take her advice as seriously because he has lived more.
00:04:37.860And that makes sense, but that's not a great base for a relationship.
00:04:41.300It also makes a big difference if you guys are in different places in your life.
00:04:45.520If the woman is much older and the man is much younger and he's not ready to have children, but she's dying to, that's going to cause problems.
00:04:52.040So understanding where the other person is in their life and trying to keep in mind that you want to have a partner in your life,
00:04:59.820not somebody who's just constantly trying to take care of you.
00:05:03.140And so having someone who's the same age, I tend to be a bigger proponent of, but of course there are always exceptions.
00:05:24.780And actually, before I met my husband, I vowed I would never do long-distance again after I had a long-term relationship that was long-distance.
00:05:31.160But I learned some big lessons in that first relationship.
00:05:34.480I do have some recommendations for this.
00:05:36.400Treat your calls and all of that like they're still dates.
00:05:39.620Don't go on phone calls that are five hours or more where you guys feel like you're running out of things to talk about
00:05:44.420because that's not normal if you are in a normal dating experience.
00:05:47.900You might go out for two hours, three hours.
00:05:50.600So limit your phone calls at the beginning.
00:05:53.000Of course, as it turns more into a relationship relationship, okay, that maybe makes more sense.
00:05:57.580But even if you are in the relationship-y part, I would say that if you're not living together,
00:06:02.640you're not spending five hours at a time together.
00:06:04.760So don't necessarily put yourself and your boyfriend through the stressors of a five-hour-long conversation every night