Classically Abby - ASK ME ANYTHING： I'm Officially A Mama Now!!

00:00:00.000 Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where I'm going to be answering all of your

00:00:04.720 questions about being a new mom. So I am officially a mother now. It's crazy to say that and so

00:00:17.960 amazing. Being a mom is highs and lows. It is amazing, the most wonderful thing I've ever done,

00:00:24.620 the most worthy thing I've ever done. It is what life is about and it is also the hardest thing

00:00:29.700 I've ever done and I want to share with you guys all of it. I want to be honest about my experience

00:00:36.620 as a mother because I think that it can be really difficult to see people seeming to handle motherhood

00:00:43.240 with absolutely no problem and just thinking like, oh it must be easy. Why isn't it easy for me?

00:00:50.640 It's not easy. Motherhood is not easy but it is so worth it and I think that it's really important to

00:00:57.900 talk about those things in the same way that it's important to talk about how marriage isn't always

00:01:01.820 the easiest thing in the world but it's worth it. Reading Jordan Peterson's book, The 12 Rules for

00:01:06.460 Life, or just maybe it's 12 Rules for Life, it teaches you a lot. One of the things that makes

00:01:11.400 you realize is that life isn't just about things being easy, it's about finding meaning and purpose

00:01:15.920 and fulfillment and having a child is the ultimate version of that. Finding meaning, purpose and

00:01:23.740 fulfillment and it is not always easy and it does not always make you happy when you're sleep deprived

00:01:27.720 or when you haven't been able to do anything for yourself for eight hours but it's so amazing to

00:01:35.480 know that you are raising a person and that person is yours. So that is a little summary of all of the

00:01:43.800 thoughts I've been having but I'm going to be sharing so much more about my motherhood journey

00:01:48.080 but I wanted to kind of start off this portion, this part of my life on my channel by answering

00:01:55.220 your guys' questions about where I'm at now and what motherhood is teaching me and all of that stuff.

00:02:01.740 I will definitely be doing a birth story video on my channel. I'm really excited to share that with

00:02:06.660 you guys. It did not go entirely as planned but it was still, you know, something I'm really proud of

00:02:14.040 and I don't look back on it and think that it was traumatic or anything like that. There was a

00:02:18.760 little bit of that feeling right after it happened but oxytocin is a miracle hormone that makes you

00:02:24.160 forget everything terrible and I remember thinking at the next day after I had given birth like,

00:02:30.440 oh my gosh, I'm going to have to do this again at some point in my life. I'm going to have to do this

00:02:34.780 a bunch of times because I want a bunch of kids and now I'm like, yeah, I can do this again.

00:02:38.500 And it's really funny where your brain just kind of is like, it was fine. It was a day and that's it.

00:02:46.400 So that's kind of a funny thing and I'm excited to share that story with you guys. But there were

00:02:50.880 some questions specifically regarding our birth story and I'm not going to be sharing all that

00:02:56.640 much about it here because I'm going to be doing a whole video dedicated to it. But before I do that

00:03:01.220 video, I'm actually going to be sharing that birth story as a podcast on my sub stack. So if you are

00:03:08.160 new to my channel, first of all, I would love if you would subscribe and hit that notification bell

00:03:11.480 so you can follow along with my motherhood journey as well as learn about being classic

00:03:16.060 and embracing traditional values. So that's what we do here. It's not just motherhood content. It's

00:03:20.940 definitely going to be a mixture. I love talking about dating and relationships, but I also love

00:03:26.040 talking about marriage and motherhood. So please feel free to hit that subscribe button and join the

00:03:31.260 classic crew. But I'd also love if you would consider subscribing to my sub stack newsletter where you

00:03:35.220 will get access to a ton of exclusive content not available here or anywhere else. So I do a weekly

00:03:40.880 article, I do a podcast, and I also have a book club and discussion threads. It's really cool over

00:03:48.000 there. Right now it's on pause because I'm technically on maternity leave. So even if you sign up now, you

00:03:53.960 will get access to all of my other content, but your payments will be frozen. So you won't actually have

00:03:58.660 to pay. So maybe check that out. It might be worth it for you to sign up now because I'm pausing

00:04:06.580 everybody's billing so that nobody's getting billed for this period of time where they're not getting

00:04:10.300 content. But it is a really cool place, and I'm planning on sharing my birth vlog there first. So if

00:04:16.080 you want to hear it before anyone else, then sign up for my sub stack. Okay, now let's get into today's

00:04:22.820 video. Okay, so we're going to try and get through as many questions as possible in as short of a time as

00:04:27.260 possible because now that I have a baby, I have very little time, and I have to make sure that I

00:04:34.260 am available when he's hungry or when he needs to nap or whenever he needs to play or when he needs

00:04:39.900 to go for a walk or have a bath or whatever else it is. So I am kind of on a clock here, so we're

00:04:45.500 going to do this pretty quickly. So the first question is, how is breastfeeding? I just became a mom nine

00:04:50.380 days ago, and breastfeeding is challenging. So breastfeeding is going really well, thank God, but it was not

00:04:56.920 easy at the beginning. I had a lot of thoughts about that too, and I, again, want to share this

00:05:02.680 in a different video, like five things I learned in the first five days of being a mom. But breastfeeding 1.00

00:05:08.740 is not easy, but it's not your fault. It's the baby. The baby needs to learn. That's what I figured out.

00:05:14.920 It's so much not about you, and it's really about the baby trying to figure it out. Initially, the nurses

00:05:20.640 were like, oh, he's doing a good job latching, but I felt like I wasn't getting as good of a latch

00:05:25.460 as I wanted to, and he was kind of sleepy, and it was a little hard when I was in the hospital.

00:05:29.660 And then when we got home, when my milk came in, I got really engorged, and he just couldn't latch.

00:05:35.340 It was just too hard. So I actually gave him a bottle of my pumped breast milk at like three days

00:05:39.660 because he just was having such a hard time latching. But then the next day, after having

00:05:44.700 pumped, he was really getting better at it, and now I'm not pumping. I'm just exclusively breastfeeding.

00:05:50.140 I will start pumping and giving him probably one bottle every so often just so that he's

00:05:55.120 used to it so that if we need to go somewhere, he can feed when I'm not around. But it has

00:05:59.720 gotten so much better, and it's really something that I love to do with him. But it is not always

00:06:05.560 entertaining. Initially, I was like, oh, this is easy. This is great. I can watch a show.

00:06:09.080 I can relax while I do it. But he'll fall asleep at the breast, and if I want him to get a full 0.75

00:06:13.580 feeding in, then I really have to keep him awake, which takes a lot of my attention, and it can be

00:06:18.120 kind of exhausting. But I'm spending time with him, and that's a really special thing.

00:06:21.940 But if you're having a hard time with breastfeeding, don't feel bad. It's hard for everybody,

00:06:25.680 I think, the first time. I had the best lactation consultant. If you find that your lactation

00:06:30.240 consultant is driving you crazy or making you feel bad, find a different lactation consultant

00:06:35.080 because the one that I'm working with, that I worked with, was a godsend. She was incredible.

00:06:40.700 She made me feel so good about what I was doing and what I was trying to do, and it made me feel

00:06:45.920 so much better. So definitely a really special experience and something that I'm enjoying right

00:06:52.760 now, but it's also not easy at the beginning. Like, give yourself a little bit of time to adjust.

00:06:58.780 Give your baby a little bit of time to adjust. What's been harder, birth or postpartum healing?

00:07:04.180 Birth was harder. Postpartum healing was not so bad for me, thank God. I felt like it wasn't terrible.

00:07:11.280 It was not comfortable, but it wasn't so bad. Birth was not easy for me, but it was, you know,

00:07:18.240 like I said in the intro of this, it was still really something I'm proud of, but it wasn't easy

00:07:23.440 at all. Postpartum healing has been better. The postpartum period has been hard, or it was

00:07:30.620 initially. That first week was really hard of adjustment, but now things are getting a lot

00:07:35.320 better and I'm more in a good place with it.

00:07:38.000 Do you find it difficult to eat enough? I thought that was a very funny question, because

00:07:41.640 yes, it's difficult to find time to actually get food and make food, because once he goes

00:07:47.440 down, he doesn't always stay down, and then you have to pick him up, and you're trying to

00:07:51.020 take care of him, and trying to prepare food is really difficult, unless I wear him. If I'm wearing

00:07:55.280 him, then it works, but I don't want to wear him all the time, because I want to get him

00:07:58.420 used to sleeping in the bassinet. So yes, it's difficult to get enough food.

00:08:03.320 Have you had any stress breakdowns or depression despite all the support? Thank God I haven't

00:08:08.860 had any depression. I wouldn't even say I've had stress breakdowns, but I've definitely been

00:08:14.460 overwhelmed and felt like, what am I doing? How did this happen? What am I supposed to

00:08:20.580 be doing right now? Why isn't my baby doing what he's supposed to be doing? But things have

00:08:26.140 started to balance out, and it's all highs and lows. There are days where it's a lot harder.

00:08:31.020 There are days where it's a lot easier, but something that my sister told me is just that

00:08:35.900 every day is different, so don't expect anything to be the same from the day before. So if you

00:08:41.040 have a good day, that's really nice, but don't expect it to be the same the next day. If you

00:08:44.180 have a bad day, that's okay, because the next day will be different. I think that's just a

00:08:48.060 really good perspective to have on motherhood.

00:08:50.220 What has surprised you most about postpartum? That is a good question. Hmm, I think initially

00:08:57.020 I was surprised at how, like, manual labor it is. Like, in the sense of you think, oh,

00:09:04.540 it's recreational. I get to play with my baby. My baby's so cute. No. Like, yes, that's part

00:09:10.700 of it, but more than that, it's like, I have to get him to feed. I have to change his diaper.

00:09:14.820 I have to get him to sleep, and it's like all very important that you take care of your

00:09:19.040 child, and the playing and the enjoying of him is important as well. Actually, it's in many

00:09:24.400 ways more important, but initially I was in this mindset of, like, I have to make sure

00:09:28.500 he's eating enough. I have to make sure he's getting changed. I have to make sure he's

00:09:31.260 sleeping enough, and it took the joy out of things for me initially, which was not the

00:09:36.380 best thing for me, but it also, I mean, that is part of it, is that it's not just fun and

00:09:42.440 games. You're trying to keep this little person alive, and I think that kind of shocked me

00:09:47.620 initially with the postpartum experience. What's your favorite part so far? That's a nice question.

00:09:55.120 I mean, when he sleeps on you, it's the cutest thing ever, and it's just so, it's so cute. When

00:10:00.820 he has looked up at me when I'm singing to him, I will just start crying, and then I can't finish

00:10:06.960 the song, and it's really, um, it's just beautiful. I like, there's a lot that's really special about

00:10:14.020 it. Just holding him, and enjoying him, and knowing that he's my son. That's a really special

00:10:21.480 thing. How has the baby affected you and your husband's relationship? You know, our relationship

00:10:28.420 hasn't changed, but our dynamic, in a sense, has changed. Like, our feelings towards each

00:10:34.500 other are the same, but we are just navigating this whole new life together, and so much of

00:10:40.900 my attention is on the baby, because that's, he needs me, um, and that, that I feel guilty about

00:10:47.260 sometimes, is that I'm not as invested in my time with my husband. I also recognize this is very much

00:10:53.120 a stage of life, and it's going to pass, um, but I think that the biggest thing is just kind of

00:10:59.860 navigating your time, and making sure that your spouse feels that you love them, even if you don't

00:11:07.020 necessarily have that much time to give to them, and that has been a challenge for me, is just

00:11:13.100 giving my attention to my husband, even if it's in small bursts, because you're tired, and you're not

00:11:20.480 as focused, um, but we've been taking walks together when we take the baby, or my mom has helped so much,

00:11:28.800 oh my god, I can't even express how incredible my mother has been. She's been here for a month,

00:11:36.000 she will be here for a month, um, she was supposed to be here for two weeks, but then my baby got a

00:11:40.880 cold, which was really scary, um, so she stayed for an extra two weeks while he recovered, and that was

00:11:46.540 so, I'm so grateful to her, but it also has been such a blessing just generally having her here, because

00:11:52.260 she can help take care of the baby, and she's been able to watch him, so that we can, you know, go for a

00:11:58.080 walk, or go to dinner just for an hour, so that we can have that time together, and we know that

00:12:03.000 this is a luxury that we will not have when she's not around, so it's been really special having her

00:12:08.640 here, but I think that, like, the most important thing is having open lines of communication. We have

00:12:13.840 talked so much during this period, just being really open and honest with each other, because it's easy

00:12:19.780 to snap at one another when you're exhausted, or when you just don't have the mental energy to spend

00:12:25.140 on one another, and we've been so careful about trying to avoid that, and then if it does happen,

00:12:31.040 talking to each other, so that we both feel like, okay, it was just a momentary, you know,

00:12:37.080 whatever it is, and we're just tired, and it has nothing to do with our love and our marriage, so our

00:12:42.000 marriage has been really good, actually, but slightly different in the dynamics of it. We don't have

00:12:47.280 time to just watch a show together, or if we do, it's like 20 minutes of a show, and then I have to go.

00:12:52.100 Has your baby shown any signs of his personality coming through yet? It's a good question. I mean,

00:12:58.080 I think he's very sweet. He's a very sweet boy, and he is very stubborn in certain moments,

00:13:06.160 but mostly he's just sweet. He's not a hard baby. He's really a very, very good baby, and I'm very

00:13:13.600 blessed. Has baby Roth brought your hubby and you closer together? So this kind of is like a follow-up

00:13:18.820 of the last question, but yeah, I think in some ways he really has. We are kinder to each other.

00:13:25.400 When we have those kind of like, I'm like in a bad mood, we forgive each other so readily and so

00:13:32.460 quickly because we know that we're both so tired and that we're both just working so hard to keep

00:13:37.620 this baby going. So I think there's a lot that has brought us closer together, and seeing your husband

00:13:42.920 be a father and him seeing me as a mother, it's such an attractive thing to care for a person

00:13:49.300 together, and that has really brought us together. Have you changed your mind on anything since having

00:13:54.360 your son? I mean, the only thing I've been thinking about lately is just like, oh, I used to say you

00:14:01.360 could have 10 or 15 minutes to do your makeup. No, you have maybe five. You don't know when that

00:14:07.060 baby's going to wake up and you're going to be half done with your face. So it's all these things of

00:14:11.740 like, I didn't realize how much time you wouldn't have as a mom, and I think maybe that was something

00:14:20.440 that I needed to learn, and I think it'll also change again. This is a phase of life, and as he gets

00:14:26.160 older, things will get a little different, but it's funny. It's not... like, time is now a huge

00:14:35.320 commodity. Like, taking a shower for me is taking care of myself. I'm like, oh my gosh, I just need

00:14:42.320 a shower. I just need five minutes, and that to me is taking care of myself, and it used to be like,

00:14:47.140 oh, I'm gonna take, you know, two hours and go get my nails done. No. A shower is good.

00:14:52.200 How to balance marriage time with motherhood? So many sacrifice one or the other. I think it's

00:14:58.460 interesting. So many guys are asking questions about my marriage because it is so important.

00:15:04.580 It's something that we are focusing on and making sure to be really careful about because it is so

00:15:10.140 easy to prioritize motherhood and then to make your spouse not feel loved, and so I really am trying

00:15:18.080 to balance that and express it as much as I can to Jacob. I will tell him, you know, how much I love

00:15:25.380 him, and I will do my best to take care of him in small ways because right now big ways are just not

00:15:31.520 going to happen, but I want to share my love with him in even in small ways just so he knows that he

00:15:37.100 really is... he and my baby are like top priorities, but it's always really important. One of my philosophies

00:15:43.800 is that babies are going to feel most safe if your marriage is strong. So making your marriage less

00:15:49.480 important than your relationship to your child is a terrible idea. The baby's going to feel stable and happy

00:15:54.480 and good if the marriage is good. So that's why I've been so intent, we've been so intent on making sure

00:16:02.300 our marriage stays strong even when he's this little because he needs to know that his parents are happy

00:16:08.240 and love each other and take care of each other. Is your baby up all night too? Not really, but getting

00:16:16.920 him to sleep in the bassinet is not happening. So has the baby's health worried you in any way?

00:16:22.800 I'm 13 and really inspired by your words. Yes, because he had a cold at two weeks. We went to the ER,

00:16:29.260 we went to the pediatrician. He had a cold. It wasn't terrible, but it was really scary initially and I was

00:16:34.540 just terrified of having him sleep in the bassinet because he's so little and I just didn't want him

00:16:39.320 to have any issues breathing. So that was really, really scary. But he's doing so much better, thank

00:16:46.100 God. Thank God. And I just feel really blessed that he's doing so much better. What is a typical day like

00:16:52.100 now? What's changed and what have you been able to keep the same? A typical day is totally different

00:16:57.960 than what it used to be like. Waking up at 7 30, depending on the day, between 6 30 and 7 30,

00:17:03.560 feed him, little bit of wake time. Oh, there he is. I think it's time for me to go feed him.

00:17:10.800 Okay. It's been a while. I fed the baby. We gave him a bath. We put him down for a nap. So let's get

00:17:19.280 back to these questions. But this is what I feel like filming is going to be for a while, is me running

00:17:25.200 back in here after having gotten the baby down to sleep for a bit. So still got my baby monitor

00:17:30.660 here. He's looking good. He's in the bassinet, which is exciting. Okay. Let's get back to these

00:17:37.060 questions. I probably got interrupted and I'm sorry if I didn't finish it. I don't remember what

00:17:41.240 question I was on, but let's continue. How was picking the name? So Jacob and I are pretty in

00:17:48.520 agreement about names that we like. And so we came up with a list together and we just found one that

00:17:55.400 we liked the inspiration of. We are not sharing his name online. We don't want people to know, but

00:18:02.040 we love his name. We love his name. What items in your hospital bag did you actually end up using?

00:18:08.860 And congrats. So tell me if you guys would be interested in seeing a video like what I actually

00:18:13.800 used in my hospital bag, I feel like I used a good amount and I don't regret having packed anything.

00:18:20.700 So if that tells you something. But I probably also didn't use a lot of it, but I'm still like not mad

00:18:28.140 that I packed as much as I did. How has your perspective changed after becoming a mom? Um, you know,

00:18:35.720 my perspective has changed in the sense that this is the only job that matters. My perspective has

00:18:43.600 changed in that motherhood is the most important thing you can do and it is the most time-consuming

00:18:49.320 thing you can do. So anything that gets in the way of it, I'm less and less inclined to promote.

00:18:57.120 I just think that it is the most important job I will ever have and I'm going to, uh, make sure that

00:19:05.360 I can do it as well as I can. But I also think that part of being a good mom is taking care of yourself

00:19:09.900 and it's something that I promote here on my channel, not the idea of self-care, but the idea

00:19:14.540 of taking care of yourself. Um, and I differentiate between those two things. I've done videos like

00:19:19.100 that on my channel before, so you can check those out. But taking care of yourself so that you can be

00:19:23.580 a good mom is really important. And if that means that you have an outlet like I have here on YouTube,

00:19:29.740 then that's great. You just have to make sure that you've got your priorities in line. As usual,

00:19:35.100 what's one thing no one warned you about that you feel expecting moms should know?

00:19:40.380 So the thing I want to say about this is that I don't think anything anyone can say is going to

00:19:45.100 change an expecting mom's perspective before she has a baby. Like you just don't know. Um,

00:19:50.620 being pregnant is all anticipatory. It's all about what's going to happen and you don't even realize 0.98

00:19:57.900 that it's that anticipatory until you have the baby and you're like, oh, this is what we were working

00:20:02.220 towards. So I think the thing that's the most important thing to recognize is at the beginning,

00:20:09.660 don't try and be a baby administrator. I said this on my, on my Instagram stories. I got really like

00:20:17.020 stressed in the first couple days about trying to, um, make sure he was eating and feeding and sleeping

00:20:23.900 and all these things like to a point where I couldn't just enjoy him and snuggle him and love him

00:20:30.940 and just like let him be. And there's the stress, really the stress of breastfeeding can drive you 0.89

00:20:36.860 crazy because you know that he needs what he's getting from you. And if he's not getting it from

00:20:41.100 you, he's not going to get it anywhere. So that's a really stressful thing. Um, and I think that it's

00:20:46.860 really important just to remember that millions of people have babies and they survive and you're doing

00:20:53.340 your best and your baby's going to be fine. You just need to chill out a bit and, um, give yourself

00:21:00.060 the permission just to enjoy the baby. How did you prepare for the first few weeks before giving birth

00:21:06.220 to ease the transition? Um, the most important thing I did was I cleaned the house every single night

00:21:12.700 before, uh, we gave birth because I knew that there was a chance I could go into labor at any time.

00:21:18.380 And I wanted to make sure that when we got home, the house was clean. That was the best thing I did.

00:21:21.900 And I'm so glad I did it. Cause when we came home, the house was not a mess. Uh, the house is a mess

00:21:26.300 now. So that's just part and parcel. I think of not having very much time. Um, but let me think,

00:21:32.700 what else did I do? I mean, I read a lot of books about how to kind of get your baby on a schedule

00:21:40.140 and do all these things. And I think there are really good benefits to being prepared, but there's

00:21:45.260 also the knowledge that your baby is not going to just go to sleep in his bassinet. Like it's not

00:21:52.140 just put the baby down and he'll be fine. Like you can't assume that everything you want your baby to

00:21:58.460 do, your baby's going to do. So I went in being like, oh yeah, I'm just going to put my baby down

00:22:03.980 in the bassinet and it'll be easy. Of course it's not easy. Babies don't want to be in a bassinet.

00:22:09.100 They want to be in your arms. Um, and I think that it can make you feel like a failure when you

00:22:14.060 read these books that are like, yeah, you just do this. You just do that. You just, you don't just

00:22:19.260 do anything as a mother. Um, everything is always up in the air and you have to be really flexible.

00:22:23.660 So I think that the biggest thing, um, about motherhood is be flexible, be prepared that nothing

00:22:30.140 is going to go the way that you expect that day. And even if you don't get your one item on your

00:22:34.460 to-do list done, that's okay. Personal care. I take personal hygiene really seriously,

00:22:39.260 but I know some new moms who really neglect their personal care and hygiene and it scares me. 1.00

00:22:43.260 Tips. Uh, take a shower every day. Take a shower every day. Even if the baby has to cry for a couple

00:22:51.420 of minutes, he will be fine, but you need to take a shower every day. It makes you feel better. It makes

00:22:56.380 you feel refreshed. Give him to your husband, put him down for a nap, put him in the swing, put him in a chair.

00:23:01.980 Just find those five minutes every day to shower. You will feel cleaner. You will feel better.

00:23:07.900 And even if it's not about, um, kind of putting on makeup or styling your hair, being clean makes

00:23:14.460 all the difference. And if you have a spit-uppy baby, which I do, I have a happy spitter, 0.99

00:23:19.980 um, you need to shower every day or you smell terrible. So, uh, definitely recommend showering every

00:23:26.860 day. And you don't have to make it a long indulgent shower. It can be five minutes, but it just makes such a

00:23:31.020 huge difference. And every night when you go to sleep, take those couple of minutes to really

00:23:35.500 take care of yourself. So, you know, take out your contacts, brush your teeth, put on some lotion.

00:23:40.540 And again, it doesn't have to take a long time for you to feel taken care of. I make sure in the

00:23:47.980 morning because it makes me feel put together, um, that I put on my makeup. And that is like part of

00:23:53.500 my to-do list. It is put on makeup. So when he goes down for his morning nap,

00:23:58.140 he may not sleep that full hour or hour and a half that I want him to. He may only sleep for

00:24:03.100 half an hour. So what I try and do is I, I go and, uh, I eat breakfast. I wash my face. I put on

00:24:08.060 clothes and I, and I put on makeup and all of those things need to take five minutes so that I can get

00:24:12.460 it all done in 30 minutes just in case he wakes up. But it makes a big difference to how I approach the

00:24:17.660 rest of the day. So taking a shower and making sure that you actually, um, take that morning period and

00:24:25.900 prepare yourself physically for the day. I think that makes a big difference. Also taking a walk

00:24:31.420 every day if you can makes a difference. Who do you think Baby Roth looks like more? Is it pretty even?

00:24:36.940 I think he probably looks a little bit more like me, but he does have, you know, a mixture of the

00:24:41.500 two of us. I know it's early, but any funny baby stories yet? So sort of, um, every time we change

00:24:50.780 his diaper, there is a risk that he will spit up poop while we are wiping him and pee on the wall or at

00:25:00.060 you. And it's usually all three at once. Uh, they usually all happen at the same time and you are kind

00:25:06.060 of like, Oh my God, this is crazy. And it makes me laugh hysterically. And I also think that it's

00:25:12.220 fantastic because it means that my baby's getting everything he needs. He's getting enough that he's

00:25:16.940 peeing and pooping and spitting up regularly and gaining weight like a champ. So that is all good.

00:25:22.860 I'm always happy when he actually does all those things because it means he's healthy and he's growing.

00:25:28.380 Does it ever get easier? So I'm still early, right? I'm, uh, three and a half weeks out from having given

00:25:33.980 birth. And even this early, I can say yes. Um, every week, it's like a week marker gets easier

00:25:41.420 and easier and easier. You start to feel more yourself. You start to accept how flexible you

00:25:48.300 have to be. You start to accept the new schedule and it does make a difference. So yeah, it does get

00:25:54.140 easier. What was the most unexpected change your body went through? I got stretch marks right at the

00:25:59.980 end. I didn't think I would. I actually didn't get them for like the entire pregnancy. And then the

00:26:05.820 last couple of weeks, I got a lot of stretch marks on my belly. Um, and initially I was really sad. I

00:26:11.580 was really sad. And then I had the baby and I could not care less and I'm putting bio oil on it to just

00:26:18.300 kind of make things fade a little bit. But I had a baby, like my body changed and that's okay. Uh, I've also

00:26:26.380 probably got about 10 pounds to lose. Um, so I, I'm not rushing it. I'm planning on doing my daily

00:26:33.500 walks and I need to start eating healthier because at this point I'm just kind of eating what I can

00:26:37.900 eat in those few minutes that I get them. Um, I need to start kind of making a meal plan so that

00:26:42.620 whatever I eat is, is good for me and good for my breast milk supply and good for the baby. Um,

00:26:48.540 but I, you know, those are the, probably the biggest changes my body went through. And so

00:26:53.020 I, I'm fine. I'm fine with it. I grew a healthy baby and that's what was important.

00:26:59.180 Are you feeling more exhausted or still excited about this little human you made?

00:27:02.700 Uh, excited. Uh, at the beginning I was exhausted. I was really exhausted.

00:27:08.380 But now, you know, I, one of the things I've accepted is napping when the baby naps is not a

00:27:14.060 thing for me. Um, especially at the beginning, I think there's this huge pressure at the beginning

00:27:20.700 when you have a baby to sleep when the baby is sleeping and you have so many hormones,

00:27:25.020 so many anxieties, so many worries, you're not going to sleep. So trying to force yourself to

00:27:31.900 sleep is such a stressful thing. Now, some women might be able to sleep. I personally couldn't, 1.00

00:27:36.380 I couldn't sleep and it was stressing me out to no end that I couldn't sleep. And so I was also

00:27:42.300 feeding the baby, putting the baby down or giving the baby to somebody else.

00:27:46.460 And I wasn't ever enjoying my snuggles with the baby. And so what I've, what I've learned is that

00:27:51.820 if you're not going to be able to sleep anyway, sit and hold your baby. Hold the baby while he

00:27:55.820 sleeps. That's okay. At the beginning, it's really fine. It's not going to mess up his sleep schedule.

00:28:00.780 Hold your baby while he sleeps. And if you can't sleep, that's the best thing to do because you're

00:28:05.420 getting those love hormones. You're feeling so much better than trying to force yourself to sleep

00:28:09.420 when you can't and feeling like a failure that you didn't sleep. Um, so I was exhausted at the

00:28:15.020 beginning and also trying to force myself to sleep when I couldn't. Whereas now I don't really take

00:28:20.780 a daily nap unless I'm absolutely exhausted. And I do my best to sleep well in those few hours in the

00:28:27.260 night that I can. Um, we don't have a night nurse. I saw someone had asked if we had a night nurse,

00:28:31.740 but my mom is here and she's been helping with the baby at night. So I know when she leaves,

00:28:35.580 this is all subject to change because she's been really helpful in the nighttime with me. And so

00:28:41.740 has Jacob. Um, but we'll see how things play out. Okay, last question. I am 23 and I'm afraid I won't

00:28:51.340 be able to easily slip into the role of a mother. I am told it comes naturally. You know, it does come

00:28:59.100 naturally in the sense that you will take care of your baby. Like that is, is very innate to us as

00:29:05.660 women. All of a sudden you're like, okay, I know what I gotta do. I gotta feed him. I gotta change 0.98

00:29:09.100 him. I gotta put him to sleep. Like those are the three things you gotta do and snuggle him and enjoy

00:29:14.380 that. But the first few days after you have a baby are so hard and you just need to give yourself grace.

00:29:21.740 You're tired. You're recovering from this huge thing that just happened with your body and your,

00:29:27.660 your life is totally different. It will never be the same. Anything that you thought you knew about

00:29:33.580 life is, is not applicable. Like you do not have time. You do not have the luxury of just chilling out

00:29:42.700 or making yourself a beautiful dinner or anything like that. Like it just will not happen. And you're

00:29:50.780 okay with it because you have this beautiful child, but there's also like this feeling of,

00:29:55.580 oh my gosh, what did I just do? And one of the things my husband said to me,

00:30:02.780 which may sound controversial, but actually was very comforting was I was like, what did we do?

00:30:08.300 This is crazy. This is so much. I'm so tired. And he said, you know, this isn't a choice. This is life.

00:30:17.740 Having a baby is something you do is something people do. And once you accept that, and once

00:30:23.660 you accept that, it's not like, oh, I chose to have a baby. We have this stupid notion nowadays that 0.99

00:30:30.300 you can choose whether or not you have a child when you know, 99.9% of women would like to have a baby. 0.99

00:30:37.180 Um, and those very, very few women have kind of made this question available to,

00:30:43.580 to us of like, oh, do I want children? You know, this feminist idea that so many women don't want 1.00

00:30:49.260 children. And that's just not true. Most women do. And we then are put in this position of like, 1.00

00:30:55.980 we get to choose because of birth control and abortion. No, you don't choose to have child.

00:31:01.580 That is part of living. That is the most important part of living. And once you accept that that's the

00:31:06.300 case, you can be like, yeah, it had to be this hard. It had to be this difficult because this is

00:31:12.940 what meaning is. This is what fulfillment is. This is what purpose is. And that's good. It's good to

00:31:18.540 have those, those struggles so you can grow and so that you can do this thing that's so important.

00:31:24.940 And, uh, yeah, it is the most important thing that I've ever done and that anyone can ever do to have

00:31:31.740 a child. And it is not a choice in the sense that it is part and parcel of being human. You've, you,

00:31:39.740 you've got to do it. You've got to do it. So, and it's great. It's, it's amazing. It's, it made,

00:31:46.060 it's made me so much more of a person than I ever was before. Uh, you don't know what life is until

00:31:52.380 you're living it for another person entirely. So that's it. I'm a mom and baby is sleeping well

00:32:01.180 in his bassinet. I'm so proud of him. Uh, and that is, that is today's video. So thank you guys so

00:32:06.060 much for watching. I hope you guys enjoyed it. If you aren't subscribed to my channel already,

00:32:10.300 make sure to do so and follow along for more of this kind of content, as well as my

00:32:14.700 classic content and traditional values. If you're not following me on social media,

00:32:19.500 it's at classically Audi, absolutely everywhere. If you're not subscribed to my Substack newsletter,

00:32:23.820 sign up now. Now is the time and I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye.

00:32:28.300 Bye.

Classically Abby - April 18, 2022

ASK ME ANYTHING： I'm Officially A Mama Now!!

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