Classically Abby - Can You Have A Good Religious Sex Life？ Do I Believe In Aliens？ ⧸⧸ Sharing my controversial takes...

00:00:00.240 let's get in to your questions if you're new here my name is abby and here we talk about

00:00:06.320 lifestyle and motherhood from a traditional and classic perspective i'm so glad you're

00:00:11.680 here and today i'm going to be answering your questions i'm going to be getting into the

00:00:16.800 nitty-gritty with you all and i'm excited to see what you guys asked so i posted on instagram

00:00:22.400 and asked you guys to put in any questions you had about motherhood dating the culture

00:00:28.160 anything that was on your mind so let's hop right in i got a lot of responses and let's see how many

00:00:33.760 we can get done before my son wakes up from his nap p.s if you're new here i would love if you

00:00:39.520 would subscribe to my channel it's totally free and you'll get to see anytime i post a new video

00:00:44.400 okay let's hop into the first question how to speak to my father who says my homeschooled kids

00:00:49.520 need public school for adversity we homeschool because gender politics and just general wrong 0.97

00:00:54.880 values being taught which my father does agree with so he sees the flaws with public school

00:00:59.840 but won't let up so here's what i would say i would say at some point this is just your responsibility

00:01:07.600 as the parent you get to make the decision so if your father is saying that oh your kids need to be

00:01:13.360 in public school for adversity or for social skills or for whatever else it is you can just explain to

00:01:20.560 him why you don't believe that that is necessary for your children to grow up and be good members

00:01:25.920 of society the truth is that any school could offer adversity but could also offer the exact opposite

00:01:32.160 in the sense that you could be the victim of bullying or you could be the bully you don't know

00:01:37.760 what your kid's role is going to be in school and i know plenty of kids who went to public school who

00:01:43.120 did not face adversity there i know plenty of people who did face adversity so i always hate these

00:01:48.320 talking points that seem like oh well everyone knows that you need to send your kids to school

00:01:54.160 because that's what everyone does everyone needs adversity in school or everyone needs socialization

00:01:59.840 from school there's a lot of things about homeschooling that you don't get in public

00:02:04.400 school and that we don't talk about we treat public school like it's the obvious choice like everyone

00:02:10.160 has to do it but it's only been this way in the recent past i mean most people taught their kids

00:02:15.360 at home for much of history the idea that we have to put our kids in public school and the truth is

00:02:21.200 no one asks the same questions about public school as they do about homeschooling they'll just assume

00:02:26.320 that you just put your kids in school and that's what you do no one asks the questions of like what

00:02:31.360 are the bad things that could happen in public school what are the alternatives because well obviously

00:02:36.160 everyone gets sent to public school but when it comes to homeschooling everyone acts like well that's

00:02:41.120 just an odd choice because there's so many other options are you sure you don't want to send

00:02:44.560 your kids to public school because that's what we have always done i don't think that that's

00:02:48.800 correct and so i think at the end of the day what you just need to say to your father is you know

00:02:53.440 this is a decision we've made for our family we've decided that there's a lot of really great reasons

00:02:58.000 for us to homeschool we think that there's a lot of positives to that that are only going to be

00:03:04.240 negative on the other side if we send our children to public school and we feel confident in

00:03:09.360 our decision and as your kids grow up and as they continue to be good strong members of society i think

00:03:14.000 that's going to prove over time that you've made the right decision and of course homeschooling

00:03:18.080 isn't for everyone and homeschooling has to be done with a certain intentionality where of course i'm

00:03:23.040 going to make time for my kids to socialize i'm going to make time for them to do extracurriculars

00:03:26.960 and i'm not going to just like plop them in front of the tv when we're not learning of course those are

00:03:31.280 things i'm sure you're taking into account and i think most homeschooling parents in today's day and age

00:03:35.840 take into account but that is really what i would do is just be forthright be honest about your guys's

00:03:42.560 choice you feel confident about it you feel good about it and just stay firm in that choice and in

00:03:48.640 that decision were you a virgin when you got married should i stay a virgin and risk losing my man

00:03:54.240 so question number one is yes i was a virgin when i got married it was very important to me to save

00:03:59.520 sex for someone i was completely committed to to feel really good about my choice to have sex with 0.87

00:04:05.520 someone who wanted to start a family with me and who loved me and had made this public declaration that

00:04:11.360 we were going to be together and that we were going to stay together that was incredibly important

00:04:14.640 to me that doesn't mean i wasn't physical i like to be perfectly honest about that because i don't

00:04:19.280 want people to assume things about my past that aren't true but being a virgin i was a virgin when

00:04:24.880 i got married as far as losing your man if you decide to stay a virgin if your man is pressuring you

00:04:32.240 to have sex before you're married that is not a man you should be with of course you should risk

00:04:37.360 losing that man i would say break up with him on the spot if he is making you feel like you need

00:04:42.320 to have sex with him before you get married or else he's going to break up with you he is not the 0.69

00:04:45.840 right guy for you good riddance advice on how to be modest with modern fashion i think that there's a 0.95

00:04:52.880 lot of really wonderful ways to be modest with modern fashion uh there's a lot of like modern fashion

00:04:58.000 that happens to be modest right now for example you can wear a shirt under a dress and it's very in

00:05:03.840 you can wear midi lengths longer skirts and that's very in there's a lot of styles going around that

00:05:10.560 are modest and they just happen to be modest and so i think for me the way that i've always approached

00:05:15.360 fashion and being modest is finding trends and finding styles that i enjoy that also happen to be

00:05:22.000 modest rather than always choosing something modest that is not trendy is frumpy doesn't fit you well

00:05:28.880 you want to choose some things that you like and you really enjoy and fit in with the kind of

00:05:33.360 current trends that are going around if that's what you're interested in or just more classic

00:05:37.440 styles that happen to be modest so for example i really like midi dresses i think they're really

00:05:43.760 pretty they happen to be very popular so i can go out and find a bunch of midi dresses at tj maxx

00:05:50.240 and it's not like i went to a store that only sells modest clothing i went to a normal store that happens to

00:05:55.920 have options that are modest that for me always brought me the most joy when it came to incorporating

00:06:02.800 modest style into my wardrobe do you think women with short hair are feminine yes i think that your 1.00

00:06:09.600 hair has very little to do with your femininity i've had a pixie cut i've had friends who have pixie

00:06:15.760 cuts for me being feminine is about having a nurturing soul and heart and if you want to take

00:06:21.840 care of others and create a welcoming home that is much more important than the length of your hair

00:06:28.320 now i don't think if you are in this stage of your life where you are dating i don't think that

00:06:34.240 having a pixie cut or short hair is always going to be the best option to attract a man who is looking

00:06:40.160 for a more traditional woman just because men like long hair that's not to say that it can't look amazing 1.00

00:06:45.840 on someone but i think for a lot of men they look at long hair and they think wow that's really really

00:06:51.120 attractive that's that is very feminine and so if you are in the stage where you are taking seriously

00:06:57.680 looking for a man to marry i wouldn't necessarily go with really really short hair but if you are

00:07:04.960 married and you've talked about it with your husband and he's on board then yeah why not you can cut your

00:07:09.440 hair if you want to i think that there's always flexibility there i just think that like realistically

00:07:15.520 most men like longer hair and if you are trying to be respectful to your spouse or you're just

00:07:21.200 trying to attract a guy that you've never met before having long hair or longer hair a bob i

00:07:26.880 think is absolutely like within that range is going to make a little more sense in that situation

00:07:32.960 do you ever think about singing again sometimes but at the end of the day the lifestyle of singing

00:07:38.560 just never made sense for me and so fitting singing into my current lifestyle i'm always happy to

00:07:44.480 do i mean i've done a couple concerts here and there and honestly i haven't done one for my

00:07:48.480 channel like a music video for my channel in a while but i think i definitely could and when i do

00:07:53.520 that that brings me joy but i also sing to my son twice a day for his nap and for his bedtime

00:07:58.640 and i absolutely love doing that what does your sabbath day consist of how do you prepare for it as

00:08:05.520 a mom that's an interesting question so i wouldn't say that preparing for sabbath as a mom is entirely

00:08:12.240 different than preparing for it as a wife because really the biggest part of preparing for sabbath

00:08:18.240 is cooking because you can't cook on sabbath so i have to cook everything we need for friday night

00:08:23.440 and saturday unless we're invited to someone's house for a meal on friday day or thursday night

00:08:28.880 so that's like the biggest preparation thing and then on sabbath itself we don't use electricity unless

00:08:35.520 it's already kind of set up so like if the light's already on we can keep it on we don't turn it off

00:08:40.880 but we don't turn on lights and we don't drive and stuff like that so our sabbath day is really just

00:08:47.040 about faith and family and community right we go to synagogue and we pray we see the people in our

00:08:51.520 community and our friends and we spend time with our family and we don't use our phones we don't

00:08:55.760 use electronics we don't use technology so we really get to invest time and energy into those

00:09:01.520 really important things i love sabbath and it's a really wonderful way to connect with my family

00:09:06.640 connect with my son connect with my husband and connect with our friends i like it more as a mom

00:09:11.680 because i get to spend more time with my baby and that's really cool okay quick water break i had to

00:09:18.640 grab my water bottle is it good to work as a nanny to prepare for motherhood or should i use my degree 1.00

00:09:24.880 i don't know what your degree is in and i don't think there's anything wrong with using your degree if

00:09:29.520 you want to get some savings lined up so by the time you get married you have a little more

00:09:34.400 flexibility so that you can be a stay-at-home mom but i think being a nanny is also a wonderful option

00:09:40.080 first of all being a nanny can pay very well and if you feel like you want more experience dealing

00:09:46.240 with little children and kind of learning your way around that i'm all for it i think that's a

00:09:52.400 wonderful idea and it's a really beautiful way to spend your time so yeah absolutely why not check it

00:09:58.160 out but you can also use your degree and enjoy this time before you have children and eventually

00:10:03.600 maybe your degree will end up transferring in some way where you can use it to work part-time or to

00:10:10.160 work once your children are grown that's how i always view it does some of your views on sex before

00:10:15.120 marriage stem from religious views absolutely i'm very honest about this my views on many topics

00:10:23.440 are influenced by my religion but at the same time i can logically explain why i believe what i believe

00:10:31.920 and it doesn't have anything to do with religion and i think that that's a very effective and important

00:10:35.920 way to approach these ideas in today's day and age you can't say i don't believe that people should

00:10:42.800 have sex before marriage because god said so to somebody who doesn't believe in god it just won't

00:10:47.520 convince them what you can say is i don't believe that people should have sex before marriage because

00:10:51.920 family formation is the main purpose of sex and if you happen to have an unplanned pregnancy

00:10:57.120 when you're married you can work together to make sure that that is still a healthy home for that

00:11:01.520 child but if you're not married then it's going to be a lot more difficult being able to define your

00:11:06.320 views logically is super important being able to understand them rationally makes every argument you

00:11:12.160 make to yourself very very convincing as opposed to just depending on faith which i'm all for morality

00:11:20.080 stems from religion but i think it's also important to understand why you believe what you believe

00:11:25.280 from a logical and rational perspective how do you find other conservative moms to be friends with 0.99

00:11:30.560 and are you able to be friends with moms who are left-leaning and don't share the same values

00:11:34.400 so finding other conservative moms that is tricky for me most of the friends that i've made

00:11:40.400 are through my synagogue so i would say through faith-based communities because usually the people

00:11:45.120 who share your faith also share your values so for me that's been the easiest way to make conservative

00:11:50.320 mom friends but a lot of stay-at-home moms not all but many depending on the area tend to be more

00:11:57.280 conservative and so if you go to play gyms or if you go to the library the moms who are there with their 0.62

00:12:05.200 kids are also the moms who probably or may have more traditional values so i would say that is a really

00:12:12.880 good way to meet people i've had a really good success in that and i've met some really wonderful

00:12:18.640 people in these in these spaces as far as having friends who are moms who have different values

00:12:25.440 i think it it depends on what those values that you differ about are some things are not so important

00:12:32.720 and okay we won't talk about them and they're not going to affect my kids and not affect your kids

00:12:37.120 but there are some things that i would not want my child to be around and so if you as a mom believe

00:12:44.880 that transgender ideology is great and is good and something that you want to raise your kids around 1.00

00:12:50.880 i don't think i can be friends with you because your child may end up talking to my child about ideas

00:12:56.160 that i don't agree with and i think that that's a hard situation so i would say yes and no depending on

00:13:04.640 the topic recommendations for homemaking in old houses mine's 123 years old and i want to mix my

00:13:11.200 style with the old i love living in old houses oh my gosh my husband and i love traditional style

00:13:17.200 old houses are absolutely glorious of course they're difficult because you have to deal with the

00:13:21.760 the structural differences between older houses and newer houses but they're so gorgeous there's a few

00:13:27.520 different elements of homemaking one is look up your style in the sense that figure out what style

00:13:34.480 you like do you like more traditional do you like more colonial do you like french country do you

00:13:39.760 like cottage do you don't figure out what your language is when it comes to interior design

00:13:46.480 and then see what you can make work with your home we love traditional style our house happens to be very

00:13:52.160 modern so we are always kind of working those two things to see how we can balance them best and i think

00:14:00.000 the same is going to be true for you if you have a more modern sense of style and you're living in an older

00:14:04.080 house that can actually be a really cool contrast and it can look really interesting i also always

00:14:10.960 come back to the most important part of homemaking is making a house a home and how do you do that

00:14:15.840 make things feel clean tidy and cozy so when people come in they know that you were expecting

00:14:21.760 them your house is clean enough right doesn't have to be perfect but clean enough that they feel

00:14:25.680 welcome and as far as coziness just make sure that every surface looks like a place people can sit

00:14:31.200 down without worrying they're gonna spill something and get you upset so you want to have blankets

00:14:36.400 available you want to have coasters available and cups and and candles and things that just make people

00:14:41.920 feel welcome so that to me is how you would make a house feel like a home that's how i would home make

00:14:48.960 there and always always always hang pictures on the wall whether that be pictures of your family or just like

00:14:54.880 paintings putting things on the wall i think is the first step to making a house feel lived in

00:15:00.960 when you don't have anything on the walls it feels like you're in like a staged home so i would

00:15:06.640 recommend starting there what are your thoughts on the alien disclosure stuff really interested in

00:15:11.680 your take on this to be honest i haven't thought about it very much i don't really care about aliens i

00:15:17.200 don't know i don't think it's real i don't i don't i don't think i believe in aliens you guys i don't

00:15:22.720 think i do i don't know i haven't thought about this long and hard but i don't think i believe in

00:15:26.960 aliens how do you combat impatience when you're 25 and have never dated well there's a difference

00:15:33.360 between impatience because you have dated and you haven't met the right guy and impatience because you

00:15:41.440 haven't dated and you want to meet the right guy you have to put yourself out there in whatever way you

00:15:46.960 can whether that means going to a lot of single events or signing up for online dating or having

00:15:54.560 your friends set you up you have to approach dating in many ways like a job and so you need to put

00:16:02.560 yourself out there i can understand why you're impatient and i know that dating is so hard oh my

00:16:07.680 gosh it is so hard but you you know the impatience of i've dated a lot and i've not met the right person

00:16:15.920 that is in many ways i think harder than i have yet to date so go ahead and put yourself out there

00:16:24.240 if you can and get ready to meet people and try to enjoy the process and also just embrace this single

00:16:33.120 time because there is value to being single and there are a lot of wonderful things you can do

00:16:38.160 during this period of your life you can take yourself on dates you can go to museums you can do

00:16:43.840 things on your own schedule and that is a very different thing than when you get married and

00:16:48.320 when you have children why do you think you are better than other women simply because you have a 1.00

00:16:52.560 child um i don't i think that if you want to have children and you either haven't gotten there yet in

00:17:03.280 your timeline or you're struggling or whatever else it may be then we are exactly the same and there is

00:17:11.520 no difference between us we are all great if you think that having children is just

00:17:17.920 who cares nobody needs to do it do what you want decide later put it off freeze your eggs whatever

00:17:24.800 i still don't think i'm better than you i think that that's a bad decision those are different things i

00:17:30.480 don't think that i am personally a better person than you are i just think you are making a poor choice

00:17:37.040 and you aren't giving yourself the opportunity to do something great any advice for someone who

00:17:42.480 isn't married but is thinking of being a homemaker absolutely this is the time to learn how to make a home

00:17:49.200 learn how to cook learn how to clean learn how to make your home wherever you're living cozy

00:17:56.560 learn how to nourish and nurture children uh learn how to create community events and participate

00:18:05.200 learn how to budget and time management i would say buy books on homemaking treat homemaking like a job

00:18:11.760 and so start studying how to be the best you can be at it this is the time you have time to actually

00:18:18.240 do it rather than trying to fit it in between struggling to make things work right like i feel like

00:18:23.760 as a homemaker when you're trying to learn on the job it's a lot different than when you're studying

00:18:28.480 before getting the job so you're studying before getting the job that's great that's how i would do

00:18:32.240 it how do you find motivation i have a hard time self-motivating to do household chores and can you

00:18:39.200 give us an example of your day-to-day schedule for staying on top of the house as far as finding

00:18:43.760 motivation i think people are different i think i am somebody who likes being in a tidy space and so not

00:18:51.600 being in a tidy space makes me a little crazy i also enjoy the process of cleaning because i use

00:18:57.520 that as time to listen to books or listen to podcasts and so i view chores as a vehicle to

00:19:06.640 listening to things i enjoy and i think that that's kind of a really good way to motivate

00:19:12.080 is to use your chore time as also almost like entertainment time and that's a really fun way to like

00:19:20.000 bring those two things together as far as my day-to-day schedule my day-to-day schedule shifts

00:19:24.560 every single day because we do something different all the time but i would say as far as how i tackle

00:19:31.040 the chores the biggest thing is just staying on top of them all the time so when my son makes a mess

00:19:37.440 when he's eating instead of i used to take him out and deal with the mess later and then it was like a

00:19:43.600 worse way worse situation because things got crusty and dried on the floor

00:19:48.080 now i clean it up as soon as he's done eating i wash the tray and then i take him out that kind of

00:19:52.880 thing i will constantly be cleaning a little bit throughout the day not crazy i don't make myself

00:20:00.400 crazy but i try to if i notice something okay i'll pick it up and put it away rather than leaving it all

00:20:07.200 for the weekend i also like to do a 15 minute cleanup every single night and that helps prepare me for the

00:20:14.320 following day and that's kind of how i've kept on top of things but you know things are always

00:20:19.360 changing this has been like the last two weeks and i felt really good about this schedule for me i feel

00:20:24.000 like it's made a really big difference but it's not always the case that uh i'm this tidy to vax or

00:20:32.080 not to vax i believe in vaccinations but not the covid vaccine i didn't take the covid vaccine my son

00:20:38.720 hasn't had the covid vaccine my husband hasn't had the covid vaccine none of us have had that it was

00:20:44.400 too unproven we were not confident and i was pregnant at the time and i was not interested

00:20:49.200 in getting it so i haven't had it my son hasn't had it my husband hasn't had it but other vaccines

00:20:54.800 proven vaccines vaccines that have stood the test of time those we feel good about and we are happy to

00:21:00.560 get do you ever sing for your baby what do you like to sing for him so yes i mentioned i do love to

00:21:05.440 sing to him i sing everything i sing old standards i sing disney songs i sing musical theater we do

00:21:14.000 kind of like a different medley every night i've literally had the thought that it would be fun

00:21:20.080 to almost have like a nightly live stream where i share the medley that i sing for my son every night

00:21:27.840 because it's always different and i love it i have fun with it and he loves it it's really nice

00:21:32.880 i got two questions in a row about my wedding ring which is really funny one was i would love

00:21:37.360 to know how you care for your wedding ring and the other one was this might sound silly but did you

00:21:41.680 outgrow your wedding ring during pregnancy as far as how i care for my wedding ring um i i don't do

00:21:47.040 anything special i clean it every once in a while when it looks dirty and sometimes when i'm at the mall

00:21:53.040 and wandering around i'll walk into a jeweler and i'll ask if they can do like a free cleaning and they

00:21:57.920 say usually yes and so then i just walk around have it dealt with and have it cleaned and it comes

00:22:02.800 out super shiny and sparkly so that's how i deal with my wedding rings as far as did i outgrow them

00:22:08.960 in my last pregnancy i did and i wasn't able to put them back on until like three months after my baby

00:22:13.680 was born so we'll see what happens this time but i'm suspecting that that's gonna happen again

00:22:18.720 as a trad and religious wife how do you healthfully manage sexual desire in marriage i find this question

00:22:24.400 confusing i don't know why you wouldn't be able to healthfully manage sexual desire in marriage as

00:22:29.120 a religious woman and as a religious wife sex in marriage is easily managed because you come to each 1.00

00:22:36.560 other and you say hey i want to have sex and the other person says cool let's do it like that's how 0.98

00:22:41.920 you helpfully manage your sexual desire you manage it by having sex with your spouse like it's great 0.98

00:22:47.840 you you have somebody there who's like on board who wants to have sex with you too it's wonderful how 0.99

00:22:53.760 are you preparing to have two babes i'm nervous yeah same but i've been watching more and more 0.96

00:23:00.240 moms talk about their experience with the transition from one to two and i think there's so much

00:23:05.920 negativity about that transition being like oh you have it so easy now you think it's gonna be so easy

00:23:11.840 in the future but it's not it's so much harder with two and then you talk to people who have like four

00:23:17.280 or five kids and they're like yeah it's great like it's fine you figure it out i was like oh okay

00:23:23.520 that's that's helpful so i would say that for us my son is really too young to understand that

00:23:30.240 there's another baby coming we try to talk about it to him and he doesn't really understand for us

00:23:36.000 it's really about the thing i'm keeping in mind is that my son is still a baby when our new baby comes

00:23:41.120 and i don't want to put the expectation on him that he has to be now a big kid because there's a new

00:23:46.960 baby in the house i want them both to know that they are both my babies and they get to develop at their

00:23:52.960 own pace and they don't have to speed up because there's now a new baby in the house i also don't

00:23:58.560 ever want him to feel that he's been replaced and so i've seen some research about how when you

00:24:03.680 introduce the baby for the first time that like i shouldn't be holding the baby the baby should be

00:24:08.320 off to the side and in his bassinet so that when my first son sees him he knows he's not oh well this

00:24:14.480 baby's in mommy's arms and i'm not kind of thing so you know i really want to make sure we nourish

00:24:20.960 that relationship between the two of them because i cannot wait to see them grow up together

00:24:26.240 as little brothers it's gonna be so cute and just getting the house ready i feel like my nesting

00:24:31.360 instincts are like on high right now and so i just want to throw out everything and start from scratch

00:24:37.120 and get everything organized so that's been my my main thing that's how i've been preparing but i'd

00:24:41.920 love to hear your thoughts in the comments i'm a new stay-at-home mom super excited any tips or advice

00:24:48.240 first time mom with seven months son yes i would say that number one routine and time management 0.97

00:24:54.320 are going to be your best friends if you feel like your day-to-day is chaotic then you're not going to

00:25:00.240 enjoy the stay-at-home mom life you want to treat it like a job so treat it like a job make time blocks 0.98

00:25:07.360 have to-do lists be very clear about how you're going to spend your days and don't waste them you

00:25:12.320 don't want everyone to waste them also recognize it's not all about entertaining your baby your baby is

00:25:17.200 going to be entertained by whatever you're doing so doing tasks around the house and letting your

00:25:21.840 baby follow you around is a great way to work with them and engage with them like i love that our day

00:25:29.520 to day yeah i sit down and play with him for maybe like half an hour but most of the time we're just

00:25:34.720 doing things together and that's been a really wonderful thing for the two of us play gyms huge

00:25:41.120 benefit in our life is going to play gyms meeting other moms meeting other kids and going for walks and

00:25:46.080 being outside as much as possible those are some recommendations i have probably i could probably

00:25:50.160 do a whole video on it but yeah that's just a few what are you excited or nervous for about having two

00:25:55.920 under two excited boys same age enjoying life together like that sounds incredible excited about

00:26:05.120 having a fuller house excited about being a boy mom excited about learning how to have two kids things

00:26:12.640 that i'm nervous about i don't ever want my older son to feel neglected or like he's not getting

00:26:19.120 enough attention that's a big one and number two is i just hope i'm good at managing two little people

00:26:26.640 definitely i'm sure it will be a lot of fun but sometimes i'm a little nervous about it because i

00:26:31.120 haven't done before so that is it for today's q a i'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments down

00:26:36.480 below thank you guys so much for watching and i'll see you guys in my next one what do we think about

00:26:44.160 the bye what do we think about the bye you guys i can't decide do we stick with the singing bye do we

00:26:49.440 just skip over the singing bye let me know your thoughts

Classically Abby - August 09, 2023

Can You Have A Good Religious Sex Life？ Do I Believe In Aliens？ ⧸⧸ Sharing my controversial takes...

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