Candace Owens Reveals Why She REJECTS Feminism! ｜｜ Let's Be Classic #3
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Summary
Candace Owens is the founder of Blexit, an organization dedicated to driving conservative principles into urban communities. She is also the host of The Candace Owens Show on The Daily Wire, and is the author of the book, Blackout. She has spoken at over 60 American universities and is an amazing woman.
Transcript
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I've always tried to show people that I'm so imperfect, but I am not, I have made every
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mistake. I always say I took the most liberal route to conservatism. I hear it where I ended,
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but like I took the most liberal route to get there. And eventually I realized here are the
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things that make me feel good. Here are the things that make me feel bad. And that really is,
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you know, that's what shame is all about. This made me feel bad. So what can I do to make sure
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that I never have to feel that badness ever again?
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Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's episode of Let's Be Classic, where I'm going
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to be interviewing the amazing Candace Owens. I am so excited to have Candace on today's episode.
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I had a great time chatting with her. This was recorded a little while back, so it was a really
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interesting conversation that we had. Now, before we get into today's video, I would love if you
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would consider subscribing to my Substack newsletter. If you subscribe to my Substack newsletter,
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you will get access to exclusive content not available anywhere else, which includes two
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exclusive videos every month, weekly articles, content pitch contests, and live streamed Q&As.
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If you are interested in joining, it's only $7 a month. And if you decide to sign up for the yearly
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subscription, you will actually get two months free. So I would love if you would consider
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subscribing. But before we start, I'd love to tell you about Candace. If you don't already know,
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Candace is the founder of Blexit, an organization dedicated to driving conservative principles into
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urban communities. She is also the host of The Candace Owens Show on The Daily Wire. She has spoken
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at over 60 American universities and is the author of the book Blackout. You can follow her on Twitter
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and Instagram, and she is an amazing woman. So interesting to talk to, and I'm so glad I got to
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know her on a more personal level, as well as delving into her political ideas. So I'm really excited to
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share today's video with you. So let's get into it. So hi, it's so lovely to have you on my channel.
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I'm so excited to talk about just a bunch of different topics with you. I know how important
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it is for people to get to know conservative women as women, not just as like political figures.
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You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. But I did want to, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, I think it's really
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easy for the media to sort of pigeonhole conservatives in general, and especially women. It's, it's, there's
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this sort of idea that conservative women are monsters. So I love taking the opportunity for
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people to be able to just see a different side. Absolutely. Totally agree. So I did want to start
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off talking about your book, because I actually just listened to the entire thing on Audible.
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It was awesome. I loved it so much. And it's the best that I love listening to audiobooks in the car.
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So getting to listen to your book, which was so easy to understand, but also had incredible insights,
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was, I just loved it. I really did. So I wanted to ask you, did you know, from the beginning,
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how you wanted to break it up chapter by chapter?
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I didn't. So I had an idea that, you know, I wanted to write this book, and I knew some things
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that I wanted to include in it. But it is so funny now to look back on what I initially had submitted
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to the publishers and what the book turned out being. And I think that that's sort of really a nod to
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the creative process, right? So as soon as you actually get around to writing the book, it takes
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so many different turns and different shapes as you're going. And even in the moment, like up to
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the moment, things were becoming more and more relevant. So I had had this sort of thesis that I
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was working on. And then we had George Floyd riots. And I was like, now we need to go and include an
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entire chapter about this, because it actually adds so many layers to my thesis and what I'm trying to
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speak about. In terms of obviously, one of the major themes being that black Americans are being
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emotionally manipulated. And I think we saw that in, you know, globally with the George Floyd protests.
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So it changed so many times. And I was sort of on this creative journey.
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I mean, I think it's such an incredible thing to get your point of view as a black woman talking
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about this, these topics. And I think it allows people to kind of have an opinion that they may
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think is not allowed, right? Because you're talking about these things. And that gives them permission
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to be like, oh, maybe there is truth to what I'm thinking. Right. And it's interesting that you use
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that word permission. And it's so important. Because in this current moment, in American society,
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but also abroad, all around the world, for some reason, you feel like you have to be given permission
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to think, given permission to question, being given permission to even speak. And that's so wrong.
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And it's such a way to create a society of slaves when there just is this authoritative narrative that
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nobody's allowed to challenge your question. Critical thinking is a part of being an individual.
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And more and more, we're seeing that the media is trying to collectivize everyone and say,
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you're either with us or you're wrong think and you need to be castigated. So it's one of the
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biggest pieces of feedback that I get from people who follow me is that they feel like they finally
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have permission to think their own thoughts and to be themselves. And I think that that is a pressure
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that I feel in a good way that I constantly want to remind people that there is no consequence if
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you're willing to stand up boldly for what you believe. Maybe it's not even what you believe.
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You just want to be able to challenge the orthodoxy, right? That's a part of growing as an
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individual, challenging, constantly challenging and deciding what side of a coin that you that
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Yeah, no, I totally agree with that. And I wanted to actually talk about one section of the book
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that wasn't a chapter. It was just something you mentioned and I thought was super important
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where you talked about shame. And you talked about shame being a useful tool to encourage people
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not to repeat their mistakes. And I absolutely loved that because I agree. And I feel that in
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my own life, I've used shame as a tool when I've done something I've, I've been able to say,
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okay, I regret that, and then not repeat it. But nowadays, shame is considered wrong. And it prevents
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people from learning lessons. But I was just hoping you could talk a little bit more about that.
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Yeah, there are so many layers to this. And it was something that I thought about for a very long
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time, which is that we've increasingly tried to say that people should never feel shameful.
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And we've handed them so many excuses, right? And I know exactly what chapter you're talking
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about. I was talking really about, and here's one component of it, the feminist movement,
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which is that if a woman sleeps with a man and regrets it the next morning, we're actually seeing
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a culture that tells her that, well, you know, if you had a drink and maybe you can change your mind
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about the consent that you've given. We have actually seen people saying that consent can be
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reversed, which is a terrifying thing for men, right? Just, I reversed my consent. Last time
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I was okay. I am not. But really what these young women are running away from when they cling on to
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these ideas that seem so crazy, reversing consent the day after, is that they feel shameful about
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their actions. And rather than facing that shame and saying, whoa, that made me feel terrible. And I
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never want to do that ever again. They're just saying, here's the excuse. It's because men are
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terrible and men should be responsible, even when I drink, they should be responsible, which is the
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exact opposite, by the way, of what feminism should be about, right? We're supposed to believe
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that women are empowered, that women can make good decisions. But at the same time that they're
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saying that, they're also sending a message to young girls that you are never in control of
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yourself. There is nothing you can do. Men are, you know, men are always in some sort of control of
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you. And what I've done by sharing personal stories in this book is said to women, we all make
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mistakes. It feels terrible. I mean, you know what I mean? But until we acknowledge that the
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reason why they're called mistakes is because you can take steps to correct yourself in the
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future and say, ah, that really didn't feel good when I did that last night. Like maybe I got drunk
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and got into a major fight with one of my girlfriends, which I've done in college, but something I didn't
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even believe. I just was turned into a raging monster because I had, you know, too much alcohol.
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And the next day I felt so terrible about how I had treated her. I was so embarrassed.
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People that were in the room that, but rather than saying, well, you know, it's your fault. You
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know, I'm just an angry person because slavery happened 400 years ago. When I drink, black anger
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is justified, which would almost be the way today. I had to feel so terrible, you know, apologize. And
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you know, we didn't speak for two weeks, then we passed over our friendship. But shame is such a
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necessary ingredient to transform. You have to know that there were elements that you did that were
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wrong or elements that you can correct, you know, you know, to, to make sure that you never get to
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that place. And unfortunately, we're taking that away from young women. We're telling young women
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they're never responsible, which actually, in my opinion, further threatens them, right? And if
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you're saying to women, you're never responsible, that says to women, you can drink 18 bottles of
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wine and not a night. And there are things you can do to prevent being in a bad situation in the
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first place. And one thing is being able to control how much you drink or abstaining from alcohol
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altogether, if you know that you're a person that can't stop the drinking train once you
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start it. Right. And I totally agree with you. And I think it's a wonderful thing that
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you have shared, and I try and do the same, talking about kind of past mistakes, because
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it tells women, we've all made mistakes, you can come back from them. But sometimes it's
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important to recognize that it was a mistake, saying that it's just, oh, something I did and
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trying to shift the blame. That's not how you grow as a person. And again, it sort of
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gives permission to women to say, no, I made a mistake. And that's, that's good for me to
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recognize. Yeah. And I hope that people see that. I've always tried to show people that
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I'm so imperfect, but I am not. I have made every mistake. I always say I took the most liberal
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route to conservatism. I did, but like I took the most liberal route to get there. And eventually
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I realized here are the things that make me feel good. Here are the things that make me
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feel bad. And that really is, you know, that's what shame is all about. This made me feel bad.
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So what can I do to make sure that I never have to feel that badness ever again?
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Absolutely. So shifting onto some like lighter topics, I really wanted to talk about motherhood.
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So you're a new mom. How has it been taking care of your beautiful son? How is being a new mom?
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it's one of those things that felt like the most natural thing in the entire world. And I could,
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you know, write a whole other book on how toxic I think modern feminism is to make women, you know,
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see motherhood as some sort of an enslavement is really kind of the message that I see coming
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through the airways. When it is, it's the best part of your life. The best part of your life is being
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able to start a family. And I can, I always sense that. And now I can confirm that, that there's just
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something so incredible about, you know, my, my baby boy is only seven weeks and every day he's
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learning something new. You know, it's like pushing the head up, doing something and you go,
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oh my God, oh my God, you know, and it really sort of tethers you to how severe the cultural wars that
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we are having today are because, you know, you can get up on a stage, you can say how long it is,
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but when you look at your child and realize that they will have to deal with the consequences of
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what side of the coin we decide, you know, is America going to be a socialist country? You know,
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is America going to be a place where black people and white people can get along, right?
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My child, by the way, is biracial, half white, half black. Is he half oppressed or half privileged?
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Right. Where, where, where, where does a biracial child land in, you know, in this increasingly absurd
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society? So I think that in, in a way it's been grounding, um, in a terrifying sense of, I kind of
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realized how crucial, um, these debates that we are having are. Yeah. You see it in the younger
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generation, especially as things that are geared toward children are trying to be changed for the
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worse in my opinion. And I think it's just scary to see that it's not just, you know, policy about
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taxes we're talking about here. We're talking about the fundamental things that make up a society
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being torn out from under our feet. Right. Yeah. Like just, are, are you even allowed to be,
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are we allowed to speak as women anymore? Is that offensive? You know, I saw women spelled MXN.
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With an, you know, just this sort of idea that like even being a woman is wrong, like not
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acknowledging that that is just some social construct, like just being allowed to exist
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as a woman right now, um, is being challenged. Um, and again, that increasing idea that everything
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about men is wrong, that everything about men, um, points to something patriarchal, that women
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are weak and, and exists only under the patriarchy, um, is not really an environment that you want
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to raise a son in. Right. I mean, God forbid, right. I'm like, I don't want him around any
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of these women, God forbid. Um, you know, they, I'll show, I was going to say, I'm sure your son
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being raised in your house is going to have women flocking to him because he'll be an actual
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man. I know that's so true. And I'm going to have to interview them. Right. Yeah. They'll watch
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my stuff and they won't play any of those games. Um, but yeah, so I think that's kind of been
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the biggest transformation about, about becoming a mother. Yeah. Uh, so a question I have for
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you is, do you have any books that you read during pregnancy and preparing for motherhood
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that you would recommend? You know, I, for any person that is starting a family, um, I always
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say, try not to read too much, but read just enough because you can go down a dark hole on
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the internet, especially, um, I know women, I definitely did it by the way. So I'm, I'm
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speaking, like I'm giving you advice I didn't take, but you, you can, you will be obsessed
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with everything about birth and like all of these things. And what me and my husband decided
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was, um, to kind of be a bit more organic, um, and not, uh, go in with such a plan about
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even labor and birth. We did not have a plan. So many women had like, this is what I want
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to happen. This is how it's going to go. And we were sort of like, we know what we
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absolutely don't want. Um, in terms of intervention at the hospital, but you know, also, you know,
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educating myself about my body was something that I did just, how does this even work?
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It seems so crazy. And I remember reading the first chapter of, um, Robert C. Hamilton,
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Dr. Robert C. Hamilton has a book, uh, and it is called the seven secrets of the newborn.
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And the first chapter, she just sort of just goes over what happens in your body when you
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get pregnant. And it's obviously you pull that knowledge from such a long time ago in your
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brain. You're like, I mean, I haven't read about this in health class when it was not
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relevant enough for me to pay attention. And then you just go, Oh my God, this is a literal
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miracle. Like, you know what I mean? This is a miracle. Um, and you will have just so, just
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so much respect for your body and what your body does and knowing a little bit about what
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your body will continue, uh, to do postpartum. I mean, just, there is a miracle. I mean, even
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in terms of when a baby is born, their vision is just long enough, um, to be able to see
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from you holding them in your arms to your nipple, like that's, that is what they see.
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So it's like, then like, you know, not getting into the gory details, but you know, during
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pregnancy, um, you know, a woman's nipples areola's darken because it helps the child
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see it's, it's their, it's their perception as exactly the length of their perception.
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I mean, there's so many things that you just go, how are there people in the world who don't
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believe in God? Right. You know what I mean? It's like, it's one of those things is you just,
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well, how do you not believe in God? There's a miracle, um, about childbirth. So I, I really
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enjoyed that book, the seven secrets of the newborn. And one of the best lessons from that
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book was a baby needs nothing, really, uh, all of these toys and things that we think that a
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newborn needs, you don't need. And so we were really, we basically bought nothing for our newborn
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and they couldn't have, he couldn't have been more correct in that assessment. So that's,
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I love that, especially, I think so many women feel like they have to make this huge budget for
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having a baby. And it, I think it deters a lot of women from wanting a bigger family. Cause they're,
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they're seeing these baby registries that are $5,000. And they're like, how am I going to afford
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this? Right. And you don't need anything. And I will tell you that they just literally need
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you and they can't, I mean, they don't even know they have hands, you know what I mean?
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So it's just, uh, go less is more. It really is. I love that. So moving on to beauty and fashion.
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I you're gorgeous. The way that you dress is beautiful and also just your, your look stunning.
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So, um, my question for you is, do you have any skincare products that you love and would recommend?
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So I am super, super reduced in the makeup department. I don't like to wear makeup. I
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don't like to wear a lot of my skin. I don't like the way it feels more than anything else. Um, so
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people always ask me that and it's, it's so funny how basic my skincare routine is. Um, at nighttime,
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I'm, I basically douse my face in aquaphor. Um, like that is, that is my routine packs in moisture.
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It's so good for your skin. Um, so I am such a person that believes that my grandmother,
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um, who was Caribbean and she's from St. Thomas used to always say to me, don't put anything on
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your face, but water, the more products you use, the more products you'll need. Um, and that lesson
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sort of stayed with me. And so I'm, I'm very, you know, I use a basic face wash, um, in the morning,
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my routine, my beauty routine is always, you know, a little bit under the eyes, um,
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a little concealer under the eyes goes a really long way. And then I'll put on a little bit of,
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um, mascara. This is literally exactly what I have on right now. And I go, so I, I, especially now,
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and as we see, and I, I hate to direct this to a political argument, but I genuinely, when I see girls
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and they have so much makeup on because that culture of beating your face, as they say,
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has really been sort of taken by trans men, I think now that women look more beautiful when they
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just look more natural and men prefer it. You know, if you talk to men, they, they like, you know,
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they like the way women look without all the extra, you know, glam and fake lashes and all that stuff.
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So as close as you can do to, you know, makeup is meant to enhance, um, not to cover. And that really
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is my policy. So I use things that enhance beauty, but nothing, I'm not trying to cover my face.
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So yeah. Um, boring answer, but I'm being, I was going to say, you don't need it. You look like
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you're wearing a full face. And it's, it's funny because I've actually gotten criticism from, you
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know, enough people on YouTube, make videos, hate videos about me, um, about my makeup because I give
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makeup, uh, I do makeup routines and makeup videos on my channel and you know, it's a lot, but it's
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still proof like more on the natural side. And so they'll be like, she's giving a makeup tutorial
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and look at her face. She doesn't even have the full beat. I'm like, I don't want the fake lashes.
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Exactly. And, and, and even that to your point, you can even, there are people, they can spend 20
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minutes and you still look very natural. There's like, you know, there's so many different ways to the
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natural look, but I always encourage women to go with looking natural because that there's just
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such a beauty about it. I've always thought like, you know, in looking to Hollywood, if there was
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ever a woman that I thought was super beautiful, she was always someone that was wearing less makeup
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and it just was enhancing the features that she already has. You know, it's so funny because my
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husband, he does this to me all the time and it took me a while to actually believe him, but he'll
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only ever compliment me. Not only that's an exaggeration. Generally when he compliments me, it's when I
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have no makeup on and I'm like, he means it. I know. And it took me so long to figure that out.
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Cause I was like, why are you lying to me? No, it is so true. It is. You speak to men and every, and
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I even just see my husband making basic commentary. He was just like, you know, what is this? What is
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this? Um, when he sees girls that just look completely, as they say, completely beat their faces.
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And he, you know, he says to me like that, I wouldn't even know if that was a man or a woman.
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And the thing about women is we don't have to wear makeup to look like women. Right. You know what
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I mean? We are women. So we've already got that natural, you know, God enhanced, you know, made
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women beautiful for a reason. Right. Um, and we, we have a beauty about us that, that can't be captured
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in a bottle or can't be, can't be captured by Sephora after a shopping trip. So I always try to get
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women to like go that direction as opposed to where culture seems to be taking us, which is just
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like mask your entire face. Exactly. I tend to say to my followers, I think it's nice to put on a
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little bit of makeup, just like some concealer and, and mascara, just to show a little bit of respect
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for the area where you're in, if you're at work or something. But I agree with you that you shouldn't be
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masking your natural beauty in an attempt to fit in with the trends. It's just totally agree.
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So fashion wise, do you have any style icons? Like if you had to describe your style,
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how would you describe it? And who inspires you? I love fashion. I know. You look amazing.
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I love fashion. Um, and I've always been interested in fashion. Initially, actually,
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when I was interning in New York, I was working at a lot of fashion magazines, 17 magazine, Glamour
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magazine. Um, uh, was it O magazine? One Hearst media, but I can't, I can't remember what publication
00:22:00.740
it was. I think it might've been L. Um, I worked at Vogue for a brief stint. Um, and so, and I did
00:22:06.500
all that stuff when I was really broke, you know, had no money to even eat lunch. Uh, so fashion for me
00:22:14.260
had to be something that was affordable, uh, but looked really good. And, uh, so I would say right
00:22:21.220
now, I am a person, I love a blazer. I love a power suit. I think, um, you know, women in structured
00:22:27.060
pieces always look so amazing. Um, and I mean, there's different looks, but I just find that for
00:22:32.820
whatever reason, whenever I'm wearing a dress, I don't feel as powerful as when I am wearing something
00:22:39.780
that is structured. And I don't mean that it always needs to be a suit, but I love blazers.
00:22:44.420
I have a huge collection of blazers. Um, some, some labels that I love right now or have always
00:22:49.620
loved rather, but I can finally afford one of them, ALC. Um, I've always loved their blazers.
00:22:55.700
I think they're so beautiful. Um, I think, um, who is the woman that is making, gosh, I can't
00:23:02.180
Veronica beard is making a lot of really, yeah, really cool blazers right now. Um, so I have a lot of
00:23:08.420
her stuff in my wardrobe, um, up and coming. I've really in London saw, uh, a lot of new pieces
00:23:14.660
being pulled by Gabriella Hearst. When I say being pulled, there's a store called Joseph's that I
00:23:19.300
love to shop at in London when my husband and I are over there. And now Gabriella Hearst is the
00:23:25.140
creative director for Chloe. And I always love like Chloe, um, sweaters. I almost said jumpers. My
00:23:33.620
husband's British. So I'm starting to speak English, English as opposed to American English.
00:23:38.500
Oh my gosh. Um, so I think she's, she's definitely one to watch. She has a talent,
00:23:43.300
uh, and she understands the female body in terms of dresses, even dresses. I'd like them to be
00:23:46.980
super structured. Um, I've always loved Aliyah. I think Aliyah, uh, has an understanding of the
00:23:53.460
female body, like no other designer. And what I particularly love about him is that he does not do
00:23:58.980
fashion shows because he refuses to come up with the beat of fall, spring, fall, spring. And he says,
00:24:05.620
you know, it's art to him and art doesn't have a deadline. Uh, so he has always sort of been one
00:24:10.980
of my favorite designers. Uh, even though I do not own any of his dresses at the moment,
00:24:17.620
but I've always followed all of his stuff and I watch, um, you know, everything that comes out from
00:24:21.780
him and he he's really wonderful. I mean, I could go on and on about fashion. I love fashion in terms of
00:24:27.060
basics. I'm a huge fan and I hate to say this now because then they're going to do something
00:24:31.540
woke and I'm going to have to stop wearing it, but I love made. Well, I know it's just so great
00:24:37.460
for basics. Yeah. Um, and yeah, so made well is, is kind of when you see Candace walking down the
00:24:43.540
street and probably just in a pair of made well jeans and t-shirt and you can dress up up or down.
00:24:48.580
Do not ignore going to thrift stores. People, I am telling you, uh, you want to do, you want to do
00:24:54.020
designer on a budget, find a local thrift store that is near a super wealthy neighborhood.
00:24:59.220
And so you will have so many designer duds. That was my entire lifestyle. Um, and I can't get enough
00:25:06.660
of it. So I totally agree. And also I didn't know how into fashion designers and fashion you were,
00:25:14.020
I knew that you like dressed super well, but I didn't know that you like followed fashion trends
00:25:18.580
and fashion designers. That's super interesting. I mean, yeah, I love to see who's at the head of the
00:25:22.660
house, like, you know, Givenchy, uh, but I liked them better when Ricardo Tichy was at the head and
00:25:27.700
he left them a couple of years ago. So yeah, I actually very much follow fashion. That's amazing.
00:25:34.420
I thought I was going to be a fashion designer before I moved into singing opera. So I loved that
00:25:41.060
stuff growing up. I used to do fashion sketches and I would try and watch fashion shows and things
00:25:47.060
like that. So I totally feel you. So you're very creative then. I, I do have a creative streak,
00:25:53.700
especially I like drawing. I'm not the best artist. My sister, one of my sisters is a wonderful artist.
00:25:59.300
I am, I'm not, but, but I enjoy it. I like it and it's fun. And so fashion for me is a creative outlet.
00:26:05.700
It's a way for me to like put things together, different pieces. Yeah. And you feel good when you,
00:26:09.780
when you dress well, you feel, you feel good. So it's like, no matter how I feel, even if I'm sick,
00:26:15.620
I will get up and I will put on an outfit, you know, that I feel confident and you just feel
00:26:20.580
good when you're walking out of the door. Um, and like I said, it doesn't need to be done just
00:26:25.300
because something is expensive does not mean it's nice. It's one of the tackiest things that women
00:26:30.020
fall into the habit of. And I've met these people that cannot put themselves together. And I'm like,
00:26:33.540
I have seen particularly South American women have very good taste. Um, and they, and they have very
00:26:40.820
good taste and I think it's, it really speaks to just how, you know, their, their culture is, um,
00:26:47.380
very minimalist, but kind of, you know, the pops of colors and designs and stuff like that.
00:26:52.100
Um, I had a Venezuela, I, I mean, Argentinian friend who I thought I have never seen someone
00:26:56.580
with less money who pulled her. She looked like a billion dollars every time she walked out and
00:27:01.220
everything she got was from a thrift store. Um, so.
00:27:03.700
I try to say this to my followers too, because people might think I, I have a lot of money.
00:27:09.620
I don't. So all of the clothes that I buy are like really on sale or from a thrift store.
00:27:15.700
And I'm like, it's really, you don't have to have money to look great. And when I say.
00:27:21.140
The manager does rent the runway. And so she returns it, wears it, and she always looks great,
00:27:25.780
just easy, sleek, you know, be able to go get a good pair of shoes, you know, cheap pair of jeans.
00:27:31.380
They all look the same. Find one that, you know, fits your body tight. Uh, you know,
00:27:35.140
a basic t-shirt that looks great. I mean, you can just, I could talk fashion all day. I love, I love,
00:27:40.180
I love women, women's fashion. So yeah, me too. I mean, woman X fashion.
00:27:48.260
I don't even know how it would be pronounced. Um, I, so I wanted to ask you about dating and
00:27:55.060
relationships. Um, what advice do you have for young women who are dating?
00:28:01.380
And trying to date, I would say trying to date more seriously because in today's culture, dating
00:28:05.860
very often does not have a goal in mind. Um, but what, what would your advice be for young women?
00:28:13.700
Um, I would, I probably would first tell them that I am so sympathetic to what they are going through.
00:28:20.500
I cannot even imagine if dating was as flippant. Um, I say back in my day, like I'm old, I'm a
00:28:26.900
millennial, I'm only 32, but it, what has kind of, I shouldn't even see progress, but digress,
00:28:34.260
um, for them in terms of concepts like Twitter, right? Where men are just shopping on the internet,
00:28:38.900
uh, you know, Instagram, I think all of these things have actually polluted, um, relationships
00:28:43.780
because it's just, there's so much available and, um, it removes focus. You know, the idea of why
00:28:50.100
our grandparents stayed together forever, uh, is because they weren't just constantly being thrown
00:28:54.740
naked women on the internet all the time. And, um, so their values, uh, were naturally different.
00:29:01.540
So I know it's difficult, uh, for women, especially if they feel like they have to compete with airbrushed
00:29:06.900
models, um, on Instagram and worry about DMS and things of that nature. But I will say this first
00:29:12.340
and foremost, you should not be dating unless you're sure of who you are. I did a lot of dating,
00:29:17.220
uh, with a Candace that I didn't know. And so in my relationships, I was looking for security because
00:29:24.180
I was insecure. Um, and the second you are sure about who you are, when you went on your own two feet,
00:29:32.500
uh, when you are confident in your ideas, um, and confident in what you want, I really do believe
00:29:38.980
that the world conspires to assist you and it will bring you closer, uh, to that type of person that
00:29:44.660
is going to mesh well with you and your values and your goals in life. And for me, especially now in
00:29:51.300
American culture with so many men, uh, that are being hyper-feminized in my opinion, um, I was in
00:29:57.940
London and that love of my life. Right. Um, and so I would say to those women not to be discouraged
00:30:04.580
by the current climate and even within America to know that it is coastal, like the coastal men are
00:30:10.660
a lot different than the men when you get to like Tennessee, which is where I am now, proud Nashville
00:30:15.780
resident already. Um, yeah, in the South, like their values are different. So if you're, if you're looking
00:30:21.940
for someone with conservative values, conservative principles, you know, believing in the longevity of
00:30:25.620
relationships, believing in traditional roles, I believe in traditional roles. Um, I think that
00:30:29.940
they work. I think, you know, there is a yin and a yang when it comes to women and men and either
00:30:34.660
trying to be the other disrupts that sort of, uh, that perfect energy, um, that runs through them. Uh,
00:30:40.660
it exists, uh, all over the world off of, off of television and then definitely in the heart of, uh,
00:30:46.660
middle America. I, I think find yourself a good Southern man.
00:30:51.460
No, I actually, that was actually something I considered when I was single was
00:30:57.220
moving to the States that I thought, Hey, maybe the guys here will actually be men.
00:31:01.780
Right. Yeah. Cause I lived on the coast. I lived on the coast my whole life, but luckily I met my
00:31:08.180
New York city latte sipping blogger, you know, he's like, yeah, that's not ideal.
00:31:14.580
It's not ideal at all. Um, but I, I think that's great advice. And I think it's really important
00:31:22.100
for women to know what they want and know what they're looking for because you can't,
00:31:26.260
and you know, yourself first, right? Once you know yourself, then you know what you want in a partner,
00:31:30.740
you know, what you're looking at. Exactly. You waste less time. You just waste less time,
00:31:34.580
you know? So, and, and that's, that's what it's all about. You'll just waste less time. And when,
00:31:38.420
when you see the person, you will be sure, you know? Right. So how did you and your husband
00:31:42.340
actually meet? I was giving a speech in London, ranting against socialism. And my husband was one
00:31:49.940
of the people that was in attendance and we got engaged two weeks later. So I did not know that
00:31:56.500
story. That is amazing. I had a love at first sight story. And if somebody had told me that I would
00:32:02.020
have had a love at first sight story, I would have been like, absolutely not. Um, we had a love at
00:32:06.500
first sight story. He proposed to me on a plane two weeks after we had met. So we didn't even have
00:32:12.900
our first kiss until after we were engaged. We had our first kiss in one in Heathrow airport after we
00:32:18.500
were engaged. And I am telling you, I knew instantly when I saw him, like it was this bizarre universal
00:32:25.060
feeling that I don't think I'll ever be able, uh, to capture again, but it was just sort of like, I
00:32:30.020
already knew him and in his space, it wasn't even, uh, you know, on the heels of a conversation. It
00:32:35.700
was just in his space. I, I suddenly felt, I always say me and my husband felt like a big sigh of relief.
00:32:42.340
Like I, I didn't know I was holding my breath for years. Um, and then it was like, ah, you know,
00:32:47.300
there he is, there it is. Now everything can be fine. And that is exactly how it felt. Riley guys
00:32:52.580
and my husband. Oh my God. That is amazing. I'm so glad I know this story now.
00:32:57.860
My husband and I, we didn't have the same insight in this, in the sense that we didn't get engaged
00:33:03.060
after two weeks, but we were talking about marriage the week after we started dating. So we, we knew
00:33:09.780
like, you just knew, you just were like, you know what, it's, it's going there. And that's another
00:33:14.180
thing is that you'll find that when it is that person, a lot of times with young women dating,
00:33:18.900
you just feel uncomfortable talking about these things. You would never just start dating someone,
00:33:22.420
talk about marriage or children. Um, when you meet the right person, it's the most natural thing in the
00:33:27.060
world. You know, it's like how many kids are we having, you know, and that lets you know that
00:33:31.700
he's a man because if he's a younger guy who hasn't matured yet, like even thinking about that will
00:33:37.700
scare him off, you know, and you don't want to marry someone where a conversation about forever,
00:33:43.620
um, scares them off because then, you know, this person is still sort of playing the field.
00:33:48.100
Um, and it's not looking for something serious with you. So, I mean, I, two weeks later,
00:33:53.700
you're engaged. I love it. I love your later marriage. And so any advice about marriage?
00:34:01.380
Um, you know, there is, there are such cliches about marriage and, you know, and there's something
00:34:08.740
to them and, and there really is something to them. There's, there's like marriage humor that
00:34:13.380
only married people get. And when you hear it outside of marriage, you're like, that sounds really,
00:34:17.140
like happy wife, happy life starts to have a new meaning when, when you're married. Um, you know,
00:34:22.820
and that again gets into like the different roles of husband and wife, but yeah, I would just say,
00:34:27.620
um, that don't shy away from realizing that these things that have existed forever exist because
00:34:34.660
they work. Um, you know, I, my husband is the head of the household, I believe in, and men being
00:34:40.900
head of the household, but as the women, we know that, you know, but the household is exactly as we like it,
00:34:46.580
sort of a thing, you know? So there is this thing that you can't really describe where,
00:34:51.060
um, it's, it's so important. I think for, for women to really respect their husbands for,
00:34:55.300
of course, husbands to also respect their wives, um, and making sure that you want the same,
00:35:00.660
that you have the same values. Um, obviously, hopefully before you get married, but constantly
00:35:06.020
having that conversation, making time for each other, never stop dating sort of a thing. Um, and I
00:35:11.300
always say, if for whatever reason you are with someone because you think they look good,
00:35:17.380
um, looks fade, uh, your mind is forever. My husband and I have just about every interest is
00:35:24.980
the same. We both love the outdoors. We love politics. So our conversations are so natural
00:35:30.580
with one another because it is so much more than appearances for us. It's, it's a deeper level,
00:35:36.180
with spiritual lover. We, we, we think the same. Um, and he, he really is in that regard, my best
00:35:41.220
friend. So, uh, it's another marriage cliche, cliche, marry your best friend, but at, at the end of the
00:35:47.460
day, uh, to grow with someone, they're going to have to be your best friend. Yeah. I think it's funny
00:35:52.020
because when I got married to Jacob, I remember asking him if I was his best friend and I think
00:35:56.980
he had a moment of like, Oh, I don't know. Like, I didn't think about it that way. And you turn,
00:36:01.460
you, you turn into each other's best friend in a good marriage. It's like when you're dating,
00:36:05.940
you don't necessarily start off as like friends. It's more like you're really into each other and
00:36:10.340
you share values and you share, like there's the chemistry and the compatibility that makes you a
00:36:13.940
good partners. But then when you spend every minute of your life together, all you, you inevitably
00:36:20.500
become best friends. Yeah. And no one makes me laugh harder. You know, they just know you in a way,
00:36:26.340
um, that is just, it's your best friends. There's just, there's no way to avoid it in a good marriage.
00:36:31.300
Exactly. Exactly. Good marriages. That's either how it starts or how it ends up, but you're always
00:36:37.380
you're going to be best friends. That's just part of it. Exactly.
00:36:40.740
So work-life balance, uh, you know, so many women, we're all, many of my, of my subscribers are women
00:36:47.780
and we're all looking for that. Perfect. Doesn't exist. Work-life balance. Um, how do you balance life
00:36:54.100
and work? And I know you just started coming back into work because you just had the baby, but how does,
00:37:00.420
how does that feel now as a mom? Um, so first, what I want to say for women that are looking to have
00:37:07.220
full-time careers plus be a mother, it's hard. Uh, do not let this be glamorized to you by modern
00:37:13.220
feminists of you should want more. You should want more. You should want more in your career. You
00:37:16.660
should want to be like a man. There's a reason God designed men in the way that he did and God designed
00:37:22.340
women in a way that we, that we are designed and we are different. Okay. We are, of course,
00:37:27.220
we want equal opportunities, but we are not equal. Um, in terms of, you know, right now,
00:37:31.780
I have a seven year old, a seven week old infant, um, and he is feeding off of my breasts, not my
00:37:37.780
husband's. Right. So it is impossible for things to be equal in my household because only one of us
00:37:42.180
has to be concerned about breast pumping, breastfeeding every three hours around the clock.
00:37:46.340
Right. Um, and, and so this is something that men and women are different and you,
00:37:51.700
you have to know that and, and really make decisions in your life based on that knowledge,
00:37:55.220
because it actually would be unequal if I wanted to, uh, be like my husband plus breastfeed. Uh,
00:38:01.860
I naturally have to give X amount of hours a day just to feed our child. Right. Um, and so I say that
00:38:07.620
to him all the time is don't feel like you should want a career or else you failed. I think,
00:38:12.820
I always say this, I think the toughest job in the world, um, is being a full-time stay at home
00:38:17.780
mother. Um, you know, raising good children is so hard. Um, it requires your focus, your attention.
00:38:24.020
And so I know there are so many women that, uh, admire me because I work and I have this home life.
00:38:29.940
Um, but just know that you are, you are more admired in the other direction because I know how
00:38:34.580
difficult that is. And it is so challenging for me, um, which right now it's getting up earlier. Uh,
00:38:39.540
it's going to bed later and it it's difficult. So I always want to be super transparent about that
00:38:44.820
because I hate the way, um, that society looks down upon stay at home women as if raising human
00:38:51.780
beings is an easy job. It's just not right. Yeah. Yeah. Um, especially well-grounded human
00:38:57.140
beings that don't turn into crazy radical communists who want to burn down the world and break into
00:39:02.660
businesses, you know? So it's like, spend that time. And if you decide that, you know, working for you,
00:39:08.100
of course, work is rewarding. I love it. Um, and I believe so much in what I do and my work is so
00:39:13.540
close to my heart for me. It's not about making money. Um, so there is a piece of my soul that is
00:39:18.580
satisfied through my work, which is why I still do it. Um, but how I do it is getting up earlier,
00:39:24.340
going to bed later and drinking a heck of a lot of coffee.
00:39:30.500
Yeah. I think that that's a, a great point and something I try and
00:39:34.820
some, it's funny. It's like, if you are a proponent for mothers who want to stay at home,
00:39:39.780
which I have on my channel, but I also am constantly saying women who work also great,
00:39:46.420
as long as you are being at home with your children, you know, at some point,
00:39:49.860
as long as you're prioritizing, people will immediately assume that you want all women to
00:39:55.300
stay in the home, which is ridiculous. And I think to myself, it's such a false dichotomy.
00:40:01.060
I look at women like you, honestly, I work crazy entrepreneurial hours. My mom worked out
00:40:07.380
of the home my entire childhood. My dad was a stay at home dad. I'm like, you can respect both.
00:40:13.860
This is a great thing, right? Yeah. There's such a false dichotomy. And,
00:40:18.100
but I think that people that women that choose to work should be more honest and there's, this isn't
00:40:22.500
a hierarchy. It's not like, well, I made it all happen. You know, it's no, it's, it's difficult.
00:40:27.460
And there will be times where you're going to wish that I wasn't here at the office and I,
00:40:32.020
you, you'll wish that you were with your child. So yeah, again, it's just not a false dichotomy.
00:40:37.140
I mean, it is a false dichotomy currently in the discussions.
00:40:39.860
Right. So my last question is just about the hate that you get. I get it, you know,
00:40:48.340
on a minuscule scale compared to you. I mean, I do get a lot of hate in the comments and people ask me
00:40:54.260
how I handle it, but I'm curious to know how you handle it. Cause you're getting it from so many
00:40:59.780
people and from so many directions and how you kind of keep it all together with that.
00:41:05.540
I think honestly, people are so surprised by how happy I am and how unbothered I am at people that
00:41:10.180
hate me. And I, I have to credit Kanye West for this one. I listened to so much Kanye West music,
00:41:16.500
um, growing up, you know, I just, I loved him because in his music, he is actually giving you the formula,
00:41:22.980
uh, for success. And a big component of being successful is not caring what other people think.
00:41:28.180
Um, and you know, one of his, you know, lines is that he says that he loves his haters because
00:41:33.300
they're his biggest fans. Right. I wouldn't be where I am today. If it was not for my haters,
00:41:38.820
they are such a dedicated fan base that I'll even do that because I find it funny when they told me to
00:41:44.020
troll them back being like, people will dig up things that I said, uh, you know, five years ago and
00:41:50.100
because they hate me. Right. And then they'll put together a one minute video, a montage of things
00:41:55.220
that I've said to say that I'm a hateful human being. And I'm like, you spent minimally six
00:41:59.220
hours on this, right. On this montage. I'm supposed to believe you hate me. Like,
00:42:05.780
I think you kind of love me, can't get enough of me, a little bit of an obsession going on here.
00:42:10.260
And when you make, when you have fun with it, like, even sometimes like they'll say something and
00:42:14.180
it'll be like, what was one that made me laugh so hard? And I grew up with siblings. So like,
00:42:17.860
we made fun of each other. Like you can't say something near to me than my sisters and me
00:42:21.620
said each other growing up. You just can't do it. Um, you know, so there's like one person said,
00:42:26.500
um, she looks like, I forgot who the character is in the movie ants. And like,
00:42:32.100
I looked and I was like, I actually see this. And I wrote that back to them. And I was like,
00:42:36.500
I actually, this is, this is good. I totally see this. And they were so surprised by like how,
00:42:42.180
you know, how well I took it that, you know, I love a good joke. I don't take myself too seriously.
00:42:47.220
Um, and I love to troll them back because they get even angrier when they know that they can't
00:42:53.060
affect you. You know, you get stronger, they get angrier and then you win. So it's like, you know,
00:42:58.820
look it up because sometimes they could be right. You know, like I look like queen whatever in the
00:43:03.300
movie ants. I was like, she looks like me. And it's funny because my sister used to call me an
00:43:07.780
aunt growing up. And my cousin, you're like literally my cousin one day was eating a pack of
00:43:12.420
almonds. And she's like, how one up? And she was like, you look like an almond. And like,
00:43:15.700
now I can't unsee it. Like, you know, and I'm like, you look like an almond. Um,
00:43:22.900
you have to make fun of yourself, not take yourself too seriously. Everybody else had a cartoon. Everyone
00:43:27.700
looks like a fruit. There's always a fruit. Like it's like, I feel like this. And that is just the
00:43:31.620
name of the game. None of us are perfect. Enjoy it. Like, right. Oh my gosh. That's amazing. Also,
00:43:37.380
you know, it's funny. I get this a lot too, because my husband is always impressed. I just,
00:43:41.700
I don't, it doesn't bother me. It's like, you're taking your time out of your day to talk, to watch
00:43:49.780
and hate watch my videos. And I remember, I think I got this right. Exactly. I think I got this from
00:43:55.220
another YouTube creator and I thought it was great. So now I say it. And he says all of his haters,
00:44:00.340
he calls his interns because they're just bumping up his, his view count. He's getting Google ad revenue.
00:44:06.100
I'm like, yeah, you work for me. Yeah, exactly. Welcome. I hope you stay around and you become
00:44:12.260
a dedicated hater of the Candace Owens show. You know what I mean? I want you to be dedicated in
00:44:17.540
this hatred, you know? Exactly. Exactly. And I do almost feel like once you accept the haters,
00:44:24.820
it almost makes you more confident because when they say something about you, you're like,
00:44:30.100
either like you said, like, yes or no. Like, yeah, that's true. Or like, yeah, that's definitely not true.
00:44:34.740
Sometimes my husband and I will even stay in bed and like laugh out loud at the comments because
00:44:41.140
and I'll just be like, I'm entering the first 10 and I'll just like troll back. And then the people
00:44:44.980
that love you love it because they're like, wow, she, you know, she's got so much confidence that
00:44:49.140
she can engage on a level. You know, I just, I, it's your troll. And what do I care? If my confidence
00:44:55.140
came from the internet, I wouldn't be here. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. I have little things in my
00:45:00.180
life. I have my sisters, you know, I have my husband, like these, these are the people that,
00:45:05.060
you know, give me my sense of self. You should never be getting your sense of self from the internet.
00:45:09.300
The internet should be a play thing. Um, and your trolls are your biggest fans. Love them.
00:45:15.780
And on that note, I absolutely love that. So we're going to finish off here, but thank you so much
00:45:22.180
for coming on my channel. It was awesome to have you. Absolutely. It was so great to join. We'll
00:45:26.820
have to do it again in the future. Yeah, absolutely. So have a wonderful day. Thank you. You too. Bye
00:45:32.500
guys. Bye. Thank you so much for watching today's episode of Let's Be Classic. If you enjoyed it,
00:45:38.580
make sure to subscribe to my channel as well as to my Substack newsletter and make sure to ring that
00:45:44.740
notification bell. So you get notified of all my new videos every time they are posted. If you'd like to
00:45:49.380
follow me on social media, it's at Classically Abbey absolutely everywhere. You should also go ahead
00:45:54.020
and subscribe to Candace Owens. I will have everything linked in my description box below.
00:45:58.260
Thank you so much for watching today's video, and I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye!