Classically Abby - Chanale On Judaism Vs. Christianity, Conservatism, And Making Music In A Religious World ⧸⧸ Ep. 5

00:00:00.000 Talking with Hanala, the host of The Weekly Squeeze, all about conservatism, the differences

00:00:05.520 between Judaism and Christianity, and how she transitioned from music to podcasting,

00:00:11.040 just like me. All this and more on today's episode of The Classically Abbey Podcast.

00:00:30.000 Hello, and welcome to The Classically Abbey Podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Here we

00:00:38.660 talk about classic living, traditional values, and modern femininity. If you aren't already 1.00

00:00:43.220 subscribed to the podcast, make sure to do so and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Today,

00:00:48.860 I'm interviewing Hanala from The Weekly Squeeze Podcast, and I'm so excited you are here. Thank

00:00:54.240 you so much. It is my pleasure. I'm thrilled. Hi, Abbey.

00:00:57.780 Hi. So I was actually on your podcast first.

00:01:02.780 That's right. We made a connection.

00:01:04.400 We made a connection, and now you are online, and I'm so excited to have you here. If you

00:01:09.660 are new to the podcast, we have generally three or four segments. When I have an interview,

00:01:14.800 it's three segments. We do an interview, and then we follow that up with a faith talk,

00:01:19.880 and we finish up answering premium subscriber questions to my sub stack. So let's just get

00:01:25.040 right into the interview. I want people to get to know you. I want people to know who

00:01:28.060 you are, and I think that you're such an interesting person. So let's start there.

00:01:32.840 Can you tell my subscribers a little bit about yourself, how you got started in podcasting,

00:01:40.020 and what your mission is?

00:01:42.460 All right. So my name is Hanala. I'm a Floridian, born and raised. I grew up in Miami Beach, Florida,

00:01:47.660 typical American. Long story short, after having a traditional Jewish education, I ended up in New 0.66

00:01:55.800 York City looking for my husband. I was officially on the dating market, and because New York is such

00:02:03.020 a hub for singles, and it was even back in the day, 15 years ago, 20 years ago, I moved into an

00:02:09.840 apartment there, and I just started serial dating. That was the process.

00:02:14.560 And then, much to my parents' dismay, I met someone that I was not set up with. He was working

00:02:21.120 on 47th Street, but he was my bashert. He was my destined one, and it took a while until my parents

00:02:28.900 accepted that maybe it wasn't exactly what they had in mind for me. But here we are all these years

00:02:36.220 later. So definitely, I made the right choice.

00:02:39.560 Right. It worked out.

00:02:40.280 Yes, it worked out. So we lived in New York for a while, and then after I had my first three kids,

00:02:45.440 my first three girls, I said, I cannot take this anymore. I'm moving to Florida. And I moved back

00:02:50.600 to Florida, and we bought a house, and everything was terrific. And then the 2016 election rolled

00:02:58.020 around, and I was just like, I was really, really like entrenched. Like, I think I lost part of my

00:03:04.180 eyesight just from Twitter alone. Like, that's how, like, obsessed I was. And at some point, we were

00:03:09.040 sitting outside one night looking up at the stars, and I said to my husband, you know, I know you're

00:03:12.840 Israeli, and I know you don't want to go back, but I think we should make Aliyah. I think we should

00:03:17.280 move to Israel. And that is pretty much what we did. And I brought my, I mean, people said I was

00:03:22.240 crazy. Like, you're going to kill your music career. But, you know, God has a way to help

00:03:27.320 everyone no matter where they are. And here we are, and my music career is thriving, and the podcast is

00:03:32.440 doing well, you know, as well. So, yeah, I've, you know, followed my destiny, I would say.

00:03:41.100 And you asked me what my, yeah, you asked me what my mission is. Well, as a singer, my mission was

00:03:46.460 always multi, multi-leveled, or, you know, there are a lot of things that were important to me.

00:03:54.000 First of all, obviously, sharing, like, Jewish tradition and my culture through music. And I

00:03:58.980 performed all over the world for all different types of communities. So that was, like, really

00:04:02.640 important that my music have a message. You know, my music always had a message. You know, bringing

00:04:07.060 people together. As an observant Jewish singer, I want to, you know, create that sense of community

00:04:12.960 wherever I go and connect people from all different backgrounds and beliefs. Music is obviously

00:04:18.400 uplifting. You know, Jewish music, in particular, has always been used to, you know, evoke joy and

00:04:24.420 comfort and inspiration. So I really tried to share those positive emotions with my audience.

00:04:30.580 Educating people. You know, there's a lot to learn, not just from the music, but even in between the

00:04:35.520 songs. When I used to speak and communicate, it was an opportunity for me to be, like, a bit of a

00:04:39.800 teacher. So that was always fun. And then, you know, expressing devotion to God. Because, you know,

00:04:45.380 we sing in the synagogue, and in all faiths, music is used to connect. It's just, it reveals a very

00:04:50.880 spiritual side of you. And I always felt like I was able to express my love and devotion to God

00:04:56.980 through song. So I would say that's pretty much my mission in a nutshell.

00:05:00.960 I love that mission. That's incredible. I mean, music is so important to me, too. People know I

00:05:05.800 am a professional opera singer. I haven't sung professionally in a little while, but that was

00:05:09.980 what I did before I started Classically Abbey. And I think one of the things I've always talked about

00:05:14.760 is how music is a universal language. No matter where, no matter what language you actually speak,

00:05:21.200 you can communicate through music.

00:05:24.320 True. Yeah. And I saw that time and time again, because I would go travel to different communities.

00:05:29.740 Like, that was my job. I was a performing artist on the road, and I would walk into a room of people

00:05:34.300 that I never met. And often they were different ages. They were different, you know, their religious

00:05:38.740 affiliations were different. And as soon as I took up my guitar and started strumming, and everybody

00:05:43.060 relaxed a little, like that instant connection was made. It was so powerful. And people used to tell

00:05:47.660 me, you know, I'm, let's say, a leader in my synagogue for all these years. I give classes

00:05:52.120 once a week. I've never seen my crowd so turned on as they were when you were singing. Like, it's so

00:05:57.600 powerful. And I said, well, this is just what I do. And, you know, everything else just kind of

00:06:03.200 happens because the power of music. Yeah. So what made you transition from music, or rather maybe not

00:06:11.560 transition, because you're doing both, but in a sense, transition from music into podcasting?

00:06:17.620 Okay, so I feel bad I didn't get into podcasting earlier. I don't know why. There was also a time

00:06:24.220 when I felt that I didn't get into social media earlier. But I'm a little bit of a late bloomer

00:06:27.940 in that sense. I remember, you know, thinking to myself, Facebook, Facebook, who needs it? And then

00:06:31.780 everybody was on Facebook and Instagram, Instagram, who needs it? And then everybody was on Instagram

00:06:35.400 and podcasting the same thing. So I kind of fell into it. Pretty recently, actually. And I think

00:06:44.180 this is something we also have to unpack because your listeners might not know that Jewish women 0.61

00:06:49.160 don't or observant Jewish women, Orthodox Jews, we don't sing for men. So I have never sung for a 0.78

00:06:55.840 mixed audience. I've never sang for men before. I will share a funny story, though, quickly.

00:06:59.960 You guys will appreciate. I once sang in Pearl Harbor. And it was an older crowd. And I looked

00:07:05.540 out in the crowd. And I see in the back row, there's like an 80 year old woman with her 80 1.00

00:07:09.420 year old husband. And I was like, Okay, I guess, you know, he slipped under the radar. And they came

00:07:13.920 over to me after the show. And he was like, that was so amazing. That was so terrific. And his wife

00:07:19.780 looks at me and she goes, Please forgive me. He thinks you're Barbra Streisand.

00:07:23.400 I was like, Okay, we could, you know, I could, you can take that compliment. I could take that

00:07:29.680 compliment. Exactly. But really, I don't I don't sing for men. Because of, you know, that there's

00:07:35.940 actually a spiritual reason for that, which we could get into if you want. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

00:07:42.200 Yeah. I would love to, you know, I think it's always interesting for my listeners to understand

00:07:46.820 where certain things that we do come from. Now, I didn't observe that I sang for men.

00:07:52.600 And I have kind of some rabbinical opinions that lean a little bit more lenient on that topic. But

00:08:00.220 I also know kolisha, which is the term for this of women not singing in front of men is very important 1.00

00:08:06.140 for very for many women, and they consider it halacha meaning law. So can you explain the concept a

00:08:13.180 little bit? Yeah, totally, totally. Okay, so men and women have a different criteria for sexual

00:08:19.220 arousal. We know that, you know, hearing, and according to Jewish tradition, hearing a woman sing is

00:08:25.380 sexually arousing for a man. And by sexual arousal, I mean, like, he's thinking of her in terms of her

00:08:31.220 physical dimensions, as opposed to her spiritual qualities. So while it might be hard for a woman to

00:08:36.700 imagine, to imagine such a thing, you know, the sages were very in tune with human nature, they were. And this

00:08:43.260 rule has been kept by by Jews for 1000s of years, because men and women do have this different 0.99

00:08:47.840 criteria for for sexual arousal. So with this in mind, you know, the Torah set up these barriers to 0.80

00:08:55.620 protect society's moral fabric, essentially, and the emphasis was was placed to counter the reality

00:09:02.060 of the man's weaker character in those areas. You know, hearing the pleasant melody of a woman singing

00:09:09.620 could be an issue for a man. And therefore, we're what we do our best to refrain from exposing them

00:09:17.280 to this erotic situation. Now, you could argue that, you know, things have changed, and we're in a modern

00:09:24.080 world, and that sensitivity maybe has been lost, like the sensuality of a woman's voice. And that's,

00:09:29.880 and there's room to, there is room to say that to suggest that. And like you said, different rabbis

00:09:35.520 have different opinions. Yeah, I mean, I'll say, yeah, go ahead, you finish. But however, there is

00:09:42.160 there is a story in Greek mythology, which I always found fascinating. I don't know exactly the details,

00:09:47.760 but the sirens that were called the sirens, they were female seductresses, and they used to lure sailors 1.00

00:09:52.960 with their voices. So the concept that men could be lured in by a woman's sweet voice, that's not,

00:09:58.640 it's not crazy to, you know, that is the reality. So even though we might be, you know, enlightened

00:10:04.900 today, if anything, you could even argue the opposite, that like, the media influence that

00:10:11.100 has actually created this atmosphere where the sexualization of women and objectification of 1.00

00:10:16.040 women is even stronger than ever. So, you know, and just to wrap it up, you know, people listening 1.00

00:10:21.860 might be saying, well, what does that, like, if the men can't control themselves, why do the women 1.00

00:10:25.900 have to suffer the restrictions? And ultimately, it's because we're all in this together, and we all

00:10:31.520 have to do our share to help each other out. So, you know, it's in my advantage, it's in my advantage

00:10:39.240 to help men keep things under control. It is in my advantage. And it just, and ultimately, it serves both

00:10:46.900 men and women to avoid the situations which will lead to promiscuity. Yeah, so I think that that's

00:10:53.020 exactly right. I mean, here, I'll explain a little bit about where I, where I stood at this in this

00:10:59.180 point, and also where I agree with you, which is, I think women should be much more flattered by the 1.00

00:11:05.180 idea that there is so there are so many things that we do that we don't even think about that are very

00:11:10.040 attractive to men. And singing is one of those things. And that's a beautiful thing, right, that a woman 1.00

00:11:14.400 can attract a man just through her voice. I'm always saying to women, like, stop being offended.

00:11:20.060 That's a great thing that we can do that, right? And it's not, I mean, it's not a good thing that

00:11:25.820 we've desensitized ourselves, desensitized people more and more over time, to things that should be

00:11:32.060 attractive to one another, where what used to be attractive, maybe showing, you know, the upper thigh 0.67

00:11:37.820 area, if you wore like a shorter skirt, or if your skirt rode up a little bit, now is like, who cares,

00:11:43.400 because people wear short shorts and show the bottom of their, you know, bums with what they're 0.56

00:11:47.720 wearing. And it's not actually better for relationships when we desensitize ourselves to

00:11:53.620 the things that could cause us to be attracted to one another. So yeah, and it's not just a

00:11:57.160 religious thing, you know, Bradley Cooper, I saw him on an interview, and he was talking about Lady

00:12:00.760 Gaga, when they were singing the shallow, I remember what movie it was in. And he said that when she starts

00:12:06.060 singing, the electricity in the room changes. And this is, it's not a religious thing. He just said when

00:12:11.520 he said time stands still, when Lady Gaga starts singing, that's how powerful her voice is. And you could say

00:12:17.200 that about Andrea Bucelli. But when a woman sings the, the, the, the power is just all the more greater, 0.99

00:12:23.360 because she's, you know, feminine and beautiful and attractive and appealing and all those things.

00:12:28.060 Yeah. So as far as my own practice of it, the thing that I came to, and I don't know where I stand on it

00:12:35.680 now, but the thing that I came to was, you shouldn't be a stumbling block is kind of the

00:12:41.200 idea, uh, which is sort of in line with what you were saying earlier. But if you are going to sing,

00:12:46.960 it is more on the man not to attend. So that was my, the way I practiced it at the time. Um,

00:12:54.720 but I understand a hundred percent the, the people who practice Colesia and take it seriously. It makes 0.83

00:13:00.160 sense to me and I get it. And that's why I share my music on social media because I mean,

00:13:04.720 the majority of my followers are women, but I can't, um, limit my career to that extent because

00:13:12.320 of, of, of men who might be, you know, maybe not following the law or doing what they're not

00:13:16.400 supposed to. And there might be men who don't follow that particular halacha and on, you know,

00:13:20.640 and they're entitled and I'm entitled to share my music. So yeah, I think it works out great.

00:13:26.080 I love it. I love it. And I'm so glad we got to have that discussion because I think it's really

00:13:29.440 interesting as always to introduce people who don't know a lot about these Jewish laws to more

00:13:36.400 ideas that they've never heard of and explain where they come from. So what, so that kind of leads into

00:13:41.120 my next question, which is, you might know that many of my subscribers are Christian and I find

00:13:47.760 they're often curious about the differences and similarities between Judaism and Christianity.

00:13:54.000 So I figured I would kind of say my, what I think is the biggest difference

00:13:58.720 and the biggest similarity. Um, and then I would love to hear your thoughts on that because I think

00:14:03.280 it's so interesting from an Orthodox perspective. So for me, I think that the biggest difference

00:14:09.200 between, between Judaism and Christianity is simply the fact that it's an ethnicity

00:14:13.600 that for us, when we have a child, when a woman has a child, it's passed through the mother,

00:14:19.280 whether that child is Jewish. And even if you're not a religious Jew, even if you don't observe the

00:14:26.400 laws or even believe in God, you are still Jewish. That doesn't really exist in Christianity in the 0.99

00:14:32.960 same way. But the biggest similarity is the values. I mean, they're called Judeo, Judeo-Christian

00:14:39.120 values for a reason that we all are sharing these traditional values that are so important that make

00:14:44.800 up, as you said, the social fabric of society like that, or rather the moral fabric of society

00:14:50.320 that is so important. And I think that that's really the biggest overlap. So now I'd love to

00:14:55.520 hear what you think. Okay. So I dug a little deeper because I really wanted to, you know,

00:15:00.560 you really wanted to get to, and you gave me some food for thought because, you know,

00:15:04.720 you gave me kind of an outline of what we might talk about. And when you mentioned Christianity,

00:15:08.000 I said, well, what do I actually know about the differences? You know, I grew up Jewish. We

00:15:11.920 didn't study Christianity. It's not something I know much about, honestly. So I went back to the

00:15:16.320 original sin. So let's talk about the original sin for a second. Adam and Eve are in the Garden

00:15:20.000 of Eden. God tells them not to eat the apple from the Tree of Knowledge, and they eat the apple.

00:15:24.800 And we all know that they were evicted from the Garden of Eden, and that all ended quicker than,

00:15:30.080 you know, one, two, three. So although the Christian idea does differ greatly from the Jewish idea,

00:15:39.680 both concepts are... Actually, let me restart. So Judaism believes that the original sin 0.78

00:15:45.760 had a significant cosmic repercussion in the world, and that Adam and Eve were created as perfect

00:15:52.880 beings who were connected to God, and then they sinned, and they were separated from God. It created

00:15:58.240 a separation between them. So Christianity views the original sin as like an irrevocable and like an

00:16:07.120 unchangeable blemish, a blight on the human soul, making connection to God impossible,

00:16:14.320 except through faith in Jesus. That's the core essence of Christianity. Judaism, on the other 0.98

00:16:20.800 hand, teaches that the essence of the divine soul always remains untainted and holy. And the sin

00:16:28.640 actually only introduced a secondary soul known as our animal soul, and that contains the drive for

00:16:34.880 egotism and selfishness and hedonism and all the things that pull us away from God.

00:16:39.920 So, you know, we learn in Judaism, this hopeful vision that we do have the freedom and the capacity

00:16:46.400 to liberate ourselves and achieve a level of holiness and perfection and reconnection with God.

00:16:53.440 And we could fight, you know, we can win over those negative forces and that through the Torah and

00:16:59.840 through the actual practice of Judaism, we reconnect and we kind of, you know, tikkun olam is an expression

00:17:10.240 that's been hijacked by the reformed community. But ultimately, it means to repair the world and bring it

00:17:15.920 back to the original state that it was in, in the Garden of Eden. So that's why Judaism places such a strong 0.98

00:17:21.680 emphasis on observance and practice and Christianity prior to prioritizes faith. You know, they talk a

00:17:27.760 lot about faith. What's in your heart? What do you believe? Do you believe? Are you a believer?

00:17:31.200 You know, observant Jews, we have so many commandments, 613 commandments. And like, you know,

00:17:35.600 from the morning to the night, we're busy, preoccupied. You don't even have time to think. You don't even

00:17:39.280 have time to believe. You know, God gave the Bible, God gave the Torah on Mount Sinai. And the Jews said, 0.85

00:17:44.880 we will do and then we will hear. First, we're just going to do and God kept them busy. So I think the

00:17:51.040 big, the biggest difference between Christianity and Judaism is the actual practice versus the faith,

00:17:55.840 because you can be a Jew and never practice Judaism, and you still remain a Jew. But to be a

00:18:02.560 Christian that has no faith, then, you know, you have to explore and figure out why you're lacking in 0.90

00:18:08.080 that area. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think that's a great point. I love that. That's really,

00:18:12.960 really fascinating. And I'm sure that our, my subscribers will, will let that, let us know

00:18:18.160 what they think about that. Oh, by all means. Yeah, absolutely. I love that stuff.

00:18:22.800 It's not about better or worse, by the way. It's not about better or worse. It's just a different

00:18:25.920 approach. It's absolutely just a different approach. And I, I, I respect Christians and I respect

00:18:31.600 Muslims and I respect all people of faith and people of not faith as well, or, you know, who don't

00:18:36.480 believe, but ultimately we have to respect our differences and, you know, be honest about them.

00:18:42.320 And that's exactly. And I was going to say, and I think that there's nothing wrong with drawing

00:18:45.680 those comparisons as in a way to understand each other better so that we know where each,

00:18:50.240 you know, where we're coming from. We, we all are, you know, doing our best to serve God. It's

00:18:55.040 just a question of, you know, what that looks like. That's true. So you're a conservative woman. 0.99

00:19:02.000 You're very open about it. So how do you feel that your faith informs your politics? I think a lot of

00:19:10.080 people believe that Judaism, you know, they hear about Jews and they assume we're on the left

00:19:14.400 because so many non-observant Jews are on the left, but that's really not the case for Orthodox

00:19:20.400 Judaism. So how do you find that your Orthodox Judaism informs your beliefs as far as politics

00:19:26.560 and conservatism? Right. So I really just got into politics actually when Obama was running for

00:19:30.560 president. I remember looking at the TV and saying, he looks like a nice guy. And my husband's like,

00:19:34.080 he's a Democrat. I'm like, who cares? He's cool. I was really not so into politics until a little

00:19:39.920 later in the game. Like I said, I'm a late bloomer. But then when I got into it, it became a little bit

00:19:44.000 of an obsession. But, you know, I think there was a Pew research, a poll or survey done rather in

00:19:50.560 America. At this point, 75% of Orthodox Jews are overwhelmingly affiliating with the Republican

00:19:57.600 Party. And I think that has a lot to do with Trump's handling of policy in Israel. I mean,

00:20:02.560 it created a major shift. It was practically a revolution, you know, for a president to be

00:20:07.680 so outspoken in his support for Israel, especially considering the climate in America where things

00:20:13.920 have been shifting more and more in that sense. So I think that's, you know, definitely an issue

00:20:19.200 because I'm in Israel. I'm an Orthodox Jew. I have a strong connection to the land. And I'm going to

00:20:24.080 support the political parties that prioritize my country's security and my interests. That's just the

00:20:29.840 reality of it. And also there's this element of religious conservatism, you know, Orthodox

00:20:35.040 Judaism, the values, the traditional family structures, the social values, they really do align

00:20:42.080 with right wing political ideologies. They do. You know, we take issue with liberal policies on

00:20:49.360 abortion, gay rights, drug, you know, legalizing drugs. And that's just the reality of it. I don't 0.98

00:20:57.520 like saying that I am a Republican and, you know, because there are things that don't maybe I don't

00:21:04.800 identify with as a Jew. And I recognize that the Republican Party is flawed in many ways,

00:21:12.800 as is the Democrat Party. So I'm not as patriotic anymore, perhaps because I don't live in America.

00:21:19.040 But I would say my conservatism is intertwined with my, you know, Jewish values.

00:21:25.040 Yeah, no, that makes sense. And that's why I often use the I would say I'm much more interested

00:21:31.360 in culture than I am in politics. So I and that's really what I focus on in my in my chat,

00:21:36.320 on my channel, on my podcast. And I talk about this stuff from a conservative perspective. I very,

00:21:42.960 very rarely, if ever, use the term Republican because I much more align with conservative values

00:21:50.160 than the Republican Party. Right. That's a very good point, actually,

00:21:53.840 because I was actually thinking to myself, I don't even know if I'm a Republican anymore.

00:21:56.560 I might be a libertarian. I just feel like I've kind of veered a little more center as I get older

00:22:02.080 and I'm a little more open minded. And it doesn't. And I don't know, I don't really identify with a

00:22:06.640 particular party. So I like that idea. I am conservative. And, you know, that that's basically

00:22:11.760 what it all comes down to. Yeah, absolutely. So I want to talk a little bit about

00:22:17.120 femininity, womanhood, motherhood. So I have two questions for you on that front. The first is

00:22:23.200 you're a singer and a musician. You told us that you travel doing your doing your music.

00:22:28.400 So how did you make that work as a religious Jew and as a wife and as a mom? 0.99

00:22:34.040 Okay. So before I had kids, everything was la-di-da. I grabbed my guitar. I was at the door.

00:22:40.720 And then once I had children, I remember getting on stage in my sequence with my,

00:22:44.320 you know, my big, my shaito, my big wig. I cover my hair and, you know, you could just stick a curly,

00:22:50.400 I have a curly wig. You could just, I just stuck it on my head and put on a pair of high heels.

00:22:54.400 And suddenly I was Hamela the performer. It was like such a transformation. I remember laughing

00:22:58.320 and telling the audience an hour ago, I was on my knees giving my kids a bath. I literally kid you

00:23:03.120 not. Like that's how, that's how down to earth I was about the reality of it. There, there was no

00:23:08.880 rider that included a fancy green room with only green M&Ms and then all that, you know, you know,

00:23:15.200 filtered water, undistilled, like it's reality. You know, I would sometimes take a bus. I once

00:23:21.760 performed somewhere and I actually had to take a bus because my husband was working that night.

00:23:25.680 And when I got there, um, a little girl said, oh my God, you're Hamela. How did you get here?

00:23:29.920 Did you take a private airplane? I'm like, no, I took the bus. So there's definitely like this

00:23:34.400 reality check when you have children that no matter how big of a star you are, um, five minutes ago,

00:23:40.000 you were nobody. Like you were just somebody's mom, not nobody, but somebody's mom. And they didn't

00:23:44.720 care what, you know, what about your profession. So for me, like juggling being a singer and being

00:23:50.640 a mom, obviously, you know, there's the, the, the, the scheduling, like you have to work out 0.97

00:23:55.840 babysitters that my husband's around. I tried not to travel around the weekends. I could be

00:23:59.600 home for Shabbat. So that's, you know, my religious obligations obviously are a priority and they come

00:24:04.480 first. Um, and as far as like managing with the kids, it is a balance. It was really always a balance.

00:24:11.280 You know, um, I have to, I have to obviously make a living and do what I love and feel fulfilled.

00:24:18.960 But, um, there were times when, and even now, like I make, I make choices that, that, that work out

00:24:24.160 better for my family. Like my husband's been in America for the last few weeks and he's working.

00:24:28.800 And that means a lot of home time for me. And as a creative that could get rather stifling,

00:24:33.760 but I have to remind myself, I am a star in my own house. I am a celebrity to my children.

00:24:40.000 When I pay attention to them, I am their entire universe. So yeah, it feels great to have the

00:24:45.040 applause and it feels great to get dressed up and go out and people should clap for me and tell me

00:24:49.440 that I'm amazing. But when my little kid, you know, my little son, my baby, he's seven.

00:24:54.880 When he says to me, please, can you sing? You are my sunshine to me one more time before I go into bed.

00:25:00.080 And he just relaxes underneath my touch. I really feel such a warmth in my heart. It really does

00:25:06.400 match that, that high that I have after I sing. So for me, it was very much about being realistic,

00:25:13.360 um, being practical, um, and allowing myself to realize that, you know, maybe I'll never be

00:25:20.080 a multimillionaire with, you know, an Oscar or Grammy, but, um, I have so many things that

00:25:26.880 a lot of other singers don't, you know, their lives are so empty. They have millions of dollars

00:25:30.400 and no love, no family. Um, and you know, life is not so great for them. So I'm just trying to

00:25:35.280 remind myself what I do have. Yeah. I love it. So last question, sort of putting you on the spot.

00:25:40.720 Cause I didn't actually ask this question in our, in our outline that I had sent you, but

00:25:46.880 what, if you could describe femininity in three words,

00:25:50.000 what three words would you choose? I could not, um, think of a better question for me,

00:25:56.800 Hanala. And I'll tell you why, because my name is Hannah and Hannah in Hebrew is spelled with three

00:26:01.840 letters. Hey, the head in my name, or my, my name rather is an acronym. My name is an acronym for the

00:26:09.040 three most important commandments that a Jewish woman has. That is challah, which is, um, separating 1.00

00:26:15.280 the needed dough before you bake it. Uh, you know, this was in the times of the temple,

00:26:20.240 it was donated to the priests, the dough, um, a portion of the dough every week, um, nida,

00:26:25.600 which is the laws of family purity, which we don't have to get into, but anyone could do a quick

00:26:29.600 Google search for the Jewish laws of family purity and see what that's all about. But basically

00:26:33.760 it's separating when you have your period and going, um, for a ritual immersion every month. Um,

00:26:38.320 and then, um, the hay is hadlakat hanerot, which is lighting the Shabbat, the Shabbos candles or keeping

00:26:44.640 Shabbat. So for me, my femininity, a ties into my name, because halanita and hadlakat hanerot,

00:26:51.360 that's the acronym for Hannah, which is my name. Um, also my name actually means grace.

00:26:57.920 Chet nun, chen means grace and grace is a very feminine quality. So I grew up, um, in an Orthodox

00:27:05.520 home, but we were also Hasidim actually, and not the ones with the curly payas, but rather, um,

00:27:10.320 Chabad Hasidim and the Lubavitch Rebbe was a revolutionary leader in his approach towards

00:27:16.640 women in Judaism. And I grew up being encouraged to be a strong woman. My grandmother was a published

00:27:21.680 poet. My great aunt was a published recording artist. She was the first woman in, in the history

00:27:26.640 of Jewish music to create albums of, of children's music in the 1970s. We grew up listening to her

00:27:33.200 records. It had never been done before. I don't know if you know, know the song Hashem gave us a

00:27:37.040 present. Do you know what it was? He gave us the, you know what she wrote that song and all these

00:27:42.240 like little preschool songs. Yeah. So I grew up knowing that we can do anything, but at the same

00:27:46.960 time, we were taught very, um, specifically that it was because of the Jewish women that, that we were

00:27:55.600 merited to leave Egypt. It was because of the Jewish women, the crown of the Jewish popular, of the 0.96

00:28:01.920 Jewish people that we continued to, um, convey the important messages that were in the Torah and to

00:28:08.400 maintain our identity and to, you know, keep the chain, um, alive or keep our traditions alive and

00:28:15.200 keep the, you know, not break the chain. And for me, you know, tapping into my strengths as a woman

00:28:21.760 and living a life as a Torah Jew were always completely cohesive. I was never told to lower my

00:28:27.840 voice. I was never told to cover up and be quiet and go away. I was told be bold, be bright, be

00:28:34.320 feminine, be graceful, revel in the commandments, revel in the mitzvot that bring out your femininity. 0.95

00:28:40.960 And you will reap the benefits by having a, a great home, which I do. I have four great kids

00:28:46.160 and a loving husband, um, be a great career and see meaning and, and, um, fulfillment in my spiritual

00:28:53.120 life. So for me, I would have to say the three words are challah, nida, and hadlakat hanerot,

00:29:00.640 all Hebrew. So now let's get into our faith talk for the week. So this week's Torah portion

00:29:09.200 is b'shalach, which means when he sent as in Pharaoh sending the Israelites out of Egypt.

00:29:15.920 So I'm going to give a quick overview of, uh, this, of this week's Torah portion of the

00:29:21.280 Parsha that's that word in Hebrew in this week's Torah portion, the Jews are sent out of Egypt

00:29:27.760 by Pharaoh. God immediately takes them to the red sea, knowing that Pharaoh will believe that the

00:29:32.640 Israelites are lost and trapped in the desert. Because of that, Pharaoh is planning. He will

00:29:38.640 chase after the Jews regretting his decision to let them go. So Pharaoh does that. And the Jews 0.99

00:29:44.000 cry out to Moses asking why God took them out of Egypt only to have them die in the desert.

00:29:49.120 God splits the Red Sea and brings the Jews safely through it while the Egyptians plunge in after 1.00

00:29:55.280 them. But God brings the waters down upon the Egyptians and drowns them. The Israelites praise 1.00

00:30:01.200 God for saving their lives. After walking for three days without water, they come to Marah,

00:30:06.720 but the water is too bitter to drink. Moses throws in a piece of wood and the water becomes sweet.

00:30:12.080 After a month of wandering in the desert, the Israelites have run out of food.

00:30:15.520 God promises to bring them mana during the day and quails at night. Moses directs the Israelites 0.96

00:30:22.000 on the exact ways to gather the mana and many of them ignore his instructions. Later, they run out of

00:30:27.520 water again, and Moses hits a rock which issues forth water. At the end of this Torah portion,

00:30:32.960 the Jews fight Amalek, which is a group of people that's very, has a lot of notoriety in the Jewish

00:30:41.360 faith that we they're kind of like our lifelong enemy. And when Moses raises his arms, the Jews 1.00

00:30:47.520 begin winning the fight. But when he lowers them, Amalek wins. He sits down and two people support his

00:30:52.400 arms to keep them in the air and the Israelites win the war. So that is this week's Torah portion.

00:30:58.800 I don't know about you, but I love Exodus. I love Shmote. What do you totally? Yeah, right. It's so amazing.

00:31:03.840 Well, first of all, when we talk about it with our kids, it's the most, uh, you know, it's a story.

00:31:08.000 It's a beautiful story. I mean, the Prince of Egypt is just a phenomenal, uh, phenomenal film

00:31:14.160 because it's, there's, it's full of adventure and it's full of, um, drama and tension. And then

00:31:19.600 there's this redemption at the end and freedom of the slaves. I mean, it's just such a powerful story

00:31:25.040 for me. I personally love the part when the Jews come to the Dead Sea 0.99

00:31:28.480 and, uh, and it splits the Red Sea. I'm sorry. I live in Israel. So I'm thinking about the Dead Sea,

00:31:33.360 but the Red Sea splits and the Jews cross. And when they get to the other side, Miriam,

00:31:39.040 who's Moses's sister takes out her tambourine and she starts dancing and singing with the Jewish women.

00:31:44.480 And, and it's, it's so amazing because it's right there in the Bible, how the women use their voices

00:31:52.800 to inspire and to reinvigorate a nation that was dehydrated, exhausted. I mean, the fear that they

00:32:00.080 felt as Pharaoh's, you know, the Pharaoh's troops are approaching that they have, they would have to 0.55

00:32:05.120 go back to Egypt. You know, they were, they were Jews that didn't want to leave Egypt. They, you know,

00:32:08.720 where they were going or what was the, what the future held. So for them to have a moment of sheer joy,

00:32:14.960 when they could just let go and dance and celebrate and hold hands with their sisters and connect

00:32:21.040 and, and use their voices to praise God, I think it's one of the most powerful moments, certainly

00:32:25.840 um, in, you know, in, in the, in this, uh, in, um, in Shemot, in the book of Shemot of names. And,

00:32:33.360 um, it, it's something I've, I've sung about. It's something I've written music about. And for me,

00:32:38.640 that's why this particular parasha was always very special. This particular, um, you know, sedra of,

00:32:44.560 of Shemot. Yeah. I felt totally exactly the same way. I always loved that part as a singer,

00:32:50.080 as a woman, it always really inspired me because not only were they raising their voices

00:32:55.040 in, in song, it was in praise of God. And, and to me, that made it feel like anytime I raised my

00:33:00.880 voice in song, even if I wasn't singing a prayer, it was directly in praise of God for giving me this

00:33:08.240 voice for giving me this opportunity to sing. Yeah. Well, the music is, is an expression of

00:33:13.680 the soul. I mean, there's no question about that. I actually just had this conversation

00:33:16.880 on my podcast with a journalist named Eli Lake. He's really like square, you know,

00:33:21.920 he writes for Bloomberg, like really like, you know, one of those stiff, you know, professionals.

00:33:27.360 And then he starts talking about music and he tells me that he's a huge hip hop fan. I'm like,

00:33:30.880 I would never, ever have imagined that you like rap music. And he asked me if I feel that, um,

00:33:37.120 there's some sort of spiritual element in music. And I said, absolutely. Music is the pen of the soul.

00:33:41.440 And that's why you have the most, um, uh, well, obviously we could talk about classical music all

00:33:46.000 day because that's, you know, your specialty. We know that some of the music, the music pieces

00:33:51.040 created by these, um, that by, by these composers is just beyond comprehension, the sophistication of

00:33:58.560 it. I mean, this stuff could be analyzed for generations, generations to come can't compare to

00:34:04.320 some of the stuff that's coming out now. Um, but the reason for that is because the capacity to sing

00:34:10.800 is a godly quality. It really is. And I do think that it's something that we can tap into that could

00:34:16.960 create that connection. Sometimes you cannot, um, connect to God unless it's through a song,

00:34:21.760 unless it's through, you know, putting on, uh, uh, whether it's your favorite singer,

00:34:26.320 or if you're, if you're a person of faith and you go to church and you go to synagogue and they're

00:34:30.480 singing that, that hymn or that, you know, prayer that suddenly, you know, you feel emotional and,

00:34:36.400 and that's good. That's great that we're supposed to have those tools to help us in our service of

00:34:41.680 God. So I believe that a hundred percent talent is a gift and it's a godly one.

00:34:46.880 Yeah. I love that. And I totally agree. So we had a quick technical difficulty given that we are

00:34:53.280 recording around the world from each other, but we're back. And I want to talk about

00:35:00.480 the fact that the Jews don't trust in God after having all of these miracles done for them,

00:35:06.000 right? They just saw all of the plagues happen in Egypt. Like the most you could ever see God's

00:35:12.720 presence just happened to them. And then they spend this entire Torah portion complaining, whining,

00:35:19.680 showing fear, not trusting in God, right? Like it's so interesting that we see the Jewish people 1.00

00:35:27.040 who have just seen, and this happens throughout the Torah, right? We see them get, like they receive

00:35:32.480 the Torah or they're told they're going to receive the Torah. And two minutes later, they're like

00:35:36.000 building the golden calf, right? Like they just don't have that innate trust in them. So why?

00:35:41.760 So I think there's two parts to this. One is that it is human nature to forget the good quickly. When

00:35:49.440 something good happens to us, when we feel like God has given us blessings within two or three days,

00:35:55.440 like that fades, this is actually, it's interesting. I'm reading a book called The Happiness Hypothesis,

00:36:00.480 and it's called The Adjustment Principle. And the idea that we adjust to any circumstances very quickly

00:36:06.560 and go back to kind of like middle ground. So like, God does something amazing for us. We don't just

00:36:12.000 live our lives thinking, okay, God's going to continually do amazing things for us. We can

00:36:16.240 notice his presence. We can notice his miracles. Instead, we just kind of revert back to,

00:36:21.920 well, why isn't God doing something for me today? There must be something wrong.

00:36:25.920 As well, the Jews had been lowered and debased in Egypt and removed from their holiness and from 1.00

00:36:31.600 God's presence, which makes it easy for them to forget God's miracles, even after a few days when

00:36:37.680 they just saw, even days after they just saw it in full force. So how can we incorporate this into

00:36:43.520 our lives? And I want to hear your thoughts on it too. So I'm just kind of dropping all of my thoughts

00:36:47.920 first, but what can we learn from this? When something bad is happening, instead of complaining

00:36:53.200 that God doesn't care about us, we should try to remember God's miracles and pray from a place of

00:36:57.840 knowing God is there, rather than from a place of whining that God isn't doing things on our schedule.

00:37:04.240 But I think even more importantly and more relevant is that we're living in our own version of Egypt. 0.73

00:37:10.960 We are living in a world that is debased and that has so much bad going on that we have to

00:37:18.080 constantly kind of tune out. And it's important that we not lose our connection to God and not

00:37:24.640 lose our holiness. And it's our responsibility not to allow ourselves to become debased, but instead

00:37:31.680 to stay close to God's presence. So I just wanted to share that thought, but I'd love to hear your

00:37:36.880 thoughts on that. Like, how can we do that? How can we keep ourselves separate from everything

00:37:41.280 that we're constantly bombarded with, whether that be in media, movies, music, whatever,

00:37:46.480 and stay close to God? Right. Well, I think that when we

00:37:53.040 let's think about, let's say for dieting, for example, you know, the problem that people have

00:37:58.560 when they start dieting is that they're hungry the whole time. Like they just need to eat. And most

00:38:03.280 nutritionists will advise crowding out instead of thinking about what you're not going to eat.

00:38:07.680 Think about all the good stuff you're going to take in. You're going to have a huge salad and

00:38:11.120 you're going to have all these healthy proteins and you're going to satisfy yourself in that way.

00:38:14.640 So that emptiness is kind of filled because it's very hard just to say you can't do this and you

00:38:19.600 can't do that and you can't eat that because you are going to feel like something is lacking.

00:38:23.040 So I think that in general, you know, inspiration, it's fleeting because it's tied to all these

00:38:29.440 emotions and all these external factors that are always changing. Right. So people feel they're

00:38:35.360 they're motivated and you're inspired and you're in, you know, you're in the moment and then it kind

00:38:39.440 of fades away. So it's really hard to sustain those those high levels of inspiration and motivation

00:38:45.680 without a plan. You need a clear plan. You need actionable steps to turn the inspiration and turn the

00:38:52.240 ideas into reality. So if you want that inspiration to last longer, you have to anchor it like in values

00:38:58.640 and in goals and engage in activities and behaviors that bring joy and meaning to your life. And I

00:39:03.440 think when the Jews left Egypt, they hadn't received the Torah yet. They did not have a plan of action.

00:39:08.240 They didn't have concrete ways to manifest, to channel this inspiration and this gratitude.

00:39:15.040 So because they're humans and it's human nature, it came in really quickly and it went really quickly.

00:39:20.880 So I think the lesson we could learn is that when you are feeling those moments of inspiration,

00:39:25.600 don't assume you're going to wake up tomorrow ready to change your life because today you had,

00:39:30.080 you know, a great experience either in synagogue or reading a book or listening to an audio book,

00:39:34.000 we're all like jazz and excited. My life is going to change today. And then, you know,

00:39:38.080 bad habits just creep up one, two, three, you really have to put an action and plan

00:39:42.640 and have concrete steps that will keep you getting towards your goal and give you those little moments

00:39:48.880 of pride and success and, you know, gratification. And then the inspiration when it comes will only

00:39:54.480 boost your journey. Does that make sense? I love it. I think that's absolutely correct.

00:40:00.240 I like the idea of, they always say, you can't not do something. You can only do something.

00:40:07.360 So if you're trying not to do something, instead of saying, I'm not going to do that thing,

00:40:11.360 you say, I'm going to replace, it's exactly what you're mentioning. You're going to replace it

00:40:14.240 with a different action. And I think that's exactly right. And that's the way that we have to live our

00:40:18.560 lives in a positive manner. We have to do things that are good and fill our souls, our hearts, our

00:40:25.360 cups in with things that will keep us close to God, will keep us, you know, strong in our faith,

00:40:30.560 strong in our beliefs, even when we're surrounded by things that we're, you can't live on inspiration

00:40:36.160 alone. You cannot live on inspiration alone. Yes. It's got to be part of something bigger.

00:40:41.680 I love that. That's interesting stuff. It's a great conversation.

00:40:46.160 So now let's get into my premium subscriber questions. If you would like to submit questions

00:40:51.360 for podcasts, just like this, make sure to head over to classicallyabi.substack.com and become a

00:40:57.280 premium subscriber today. So let's start off with this question. And these were specifically for you.

00:41:04.720 So we've got a couple that are just specifically because people knew you were coming on.

00:41:08.400 So what regional differences are there between people who practice Orthodox Judaism?

00:41:14.800 When you mean, what do you mean by regional? So I think what she's talking about is the people who

00:41:19.840 are from Morocco practice differently than people from Germany around the world.

00:41:25.760 Okay. So obviously there's the, the major two groups of the Jewish ethnicity, which are,

00:41:30.720 which consists of Sephardim and Ashkenazim. So the Jews that came from the Middle East and North Africa,

00:41:38.160 those are the Sephardic Jews or the dark skinned Jews. And those range from, you know, Ethiopian or black.

00:41:43.840 And then, you know, my husband's Bukharian and he, he grew up in Uzbekistan on the border of Russia,

00:41:50.480 which is not the Middle East. But they are Sephardic Jews as well, originating generations before from

00:41:56.480 Persia. So you have the Sephardic Jews and then you have Ashkenazic Jews, like myself, the very

00:42:00.640 white ones who need to wear a lot of sunscreen. And we came from Western Europe, essentially. Now,

00:42:06.400 all Jews originally as our one tribe were in the land of Israel thousands of years ago,

00:42:13.520 but when we were expelled time and time again, and, you know, we ended up all in every corner of the

00:42:19.200 world. So as far as observance goes, you know, there's different ways to pronounce Hebrew. You

00:42:25.200 know, the, the, the Yemenite Jews, you could, you could barely understand them. Obviously there's 1.00

00:42:30.320 the language of Yiddish. A Yemenite Jew and a Hasidic Jew are so different in so many ways. They 0.99

00:42:35.040 really do. It's really hard to believe they're practicing the same religion. But ultimately they 0.98

00:42:40.960 aren't both committed to the letter of the law. It's more the personal traditions and the, you know,

00:42:47.280 the, the stuff that they've kind of passed on through generations that, um, kind of like flavor

00:42:53.120 their observance. Um, so you can't really mess around with like the, the hardcore basics, you know,

00:43:00.320 kosher is kosher, Shabbat is Shabbat, but what you eat on Shabbat and, you know, the style of food

00:43:05.360 that you like and the tunes that you sing and the way you read the Torah, the accent that you have,

00:43:10.080 those things definitely vary. But I think that's what makes the Jewish people so interesting. We're so

00:43:14.560 different. We're so unique. We're so diverse, but we have the Torah in common.

00:43:18.800 Yeah, no, I, I love the different traditions from around the world. And I think it's so cool

00:43:23.360 that as the Jewish people, we can look at somebody who's practicing something that maybe doesn't look

00:43:27.600 so similar to what we do and say, but you're still doing, you're still doing the right thing. It's just

00:43:32.080 a different version of it. So like, for example, on Passover, many Sephardim, Sephardic Jews, people

00:43:39.040 from like Spain and, you know, generally we, they're darker skin Jews. They have rice and they

00:43:46.640 have certain things that Ashkenaz Jews, kind of wider European Jews don't eat. And they're still, 1.00

00:43:52.880 they're both fine. It's just the tradition developed in a different way based on where they, where they

00:43:57.600 were living and, and kind of what the people were doing around them.

00:44:01.360 Yeah. I'm married to a Sephardic Jew and I eat rice on Passover and rice on Passover in my parents'

00:44:06.960 house is like blasphemy, you know, but I'm sitting pretty here. I have my peanuts and my bamba and all

00:44:12.720 the things that are like, you know, so delicious that we were restricted, um, uh, Passover from,

00:44:18.720 and, and there's nothing wrong with it. It's still as observant as the next Jew. So it's all good. 0.73

00:44:22.800 Yeah. It's amazing. I love it. Uh, another question that I got is I'm a reformed Jew and I struggle

00:44:30.320 with being a conservative in a reform synagogue as most of the people in my community are leftists.

00:44:35.840 Do you have any advice? Ooh, that's a good one. Okay. Let me think for a second.

00:44:41.040 All right. So first of all, you definitely want, you want to, you want to unite. So you

00:44:45.440 want to focus on your shared values. You know, you do want to see what you do have in common,

00:44:50.720 you know, identify and emphasize, um, the common values that you share with, with your synagogue,

00:44:56.880 cause that is your community. So you could find a space for yourself in social justice

00:45:01.680 and compassion and spirituality. So you definitely want to find the things that you have in common.

00:45:06.000 I would avoid all political discussion, honestly, like refrain from engaging in political debates

00:45:11.520 with people in your synagogue. That's not why you're there. You're there to, to worship,

00:45:15.760 not to discuss politics. Um, also, you know, the purpose of faith or one of the advantages of faith

00:45:23.280 is that we have this community building. So when you participate, like in all these synagogue 0.92

00:45:28.480 programs or these church programs, you know, when you do charity work or, uh, educational programs,

00:45:33.840 like cultural events, like those are the places that you build relationships with the people in

00:45:38.960 your community. So I would definitely, um, suggest trying to get involved more like hands-on and, and,

00:45:45.440 and, you know, find support outside of your synagogue, you know, find people that align with you,

00:45:49.840 your political beliefs that are not involved in the synagogue. Don't come into the show,

00:45:53.920 looking for someone to talk to about politics because you haven't had an opportunity all week.

00:45:58.480 And then, you know, just remember that we can always learn from other people and we can stay grounded

00:46:04.880 and maintain our sense of, you know, perspective, but be open-minded and, and learn from, you know,

00:46:12.560 we learn in ethics of our fathers, like who is wise, one who learns from, from all people. So,

00:46:18.080 so take a minute, listen, maybe you learn something. So funny. Yeah, no, I love that.

00:46:23.120 And I will say I have a slightly different perspective given that my husband grew up reform,

00:46:27.920 you know, he has shared with me just how far left the reform movement has gone. And I think the issue

00:46:36.640 you'll have to evaluate whether or not your practice of faith is still aligned with the people

00:46:45.600 you're practicing around because reform Judaism in many ways, it does not hold with traditional

00:46:52.480 values, with conservative values. And let's put it, I think people will appreciate this reformed

00:46:59.040 Judaism used to be progressive Judaism and now it's Jewish progressivism. So if you really feel like 0.92

00:47:06.240 Judaism is your priority, then it is time to move out of reform. And I do feel, I'll say it straight out, 1.00

00:47:11.600 like reform does not have a space for people at this point who are, who are observant like that.

00:47:17.920 They're not focused on the letter of the law. So if it's come to a point where you don't have

00:47:22.800 a relationship with the people in your synagogue and you, and you're not really connecting,

00:47:26.880 then maybe it is time to move on. Yeah, exactly. And that's exactly what I was going to say is that

00:47:31.440 it may be time for you to evaluate your practice of Judaism, what it means to you,

00:47:36.800 what's important to you, and then start maybe trying to attend a Chabad. That's usually my

00:47:42.960 my recommendation. My husband and I attended Chabad when we were living around the country.

00:47:48.880 And it was so wonderful to see so many different kinds of people there. And so you never have to

00:47:52.800 worry about feeling judged. It can just be a place for you to explore becoming observant in a different

00:47:58.320 way. And you will feel more welcomed there than perhaps where you are now.

00:48:05.360 Right. I agree. I totally agree. Yeah. So that is my advice for that. And I love your advice too.

00:48:11.360 So let's ask this question, which is, this is kind of a funny one. Do you have any advice for making

00:48:18.240 your husband feel appreciated during pregnancy? My husband has stepped up in so many ways and I just have

00:48:24.320 no energy, but I want him to know how much I love and appreciate him. Okay. Well, first of all,

00:48:30.000 say that you love and appreciate him. Don't underestimate the value and actually saying,

00:48:34.320 expressing the gratitude. Thank you, honey, for everything you do for me and the baby,

00:48:38.960 all the errands you're running, the cooking you're doing, just say the words, you know,

00:48:42.960 obviously communicate, have the conversation. He doesn't expect you to, you know, run around

00:48:49.040 looking for a present for him or to go to the gym because that's something that you used to do

00:48:53.040 together. Like be realistic, make time for each other. And remember like me, when you are pregnant,

00:48:59.280 it is a very hard time for your spouse because he knows that you're bonding with that baby.

00:49:02.960 And that's something that he's not having. So, you know, plan something special for him,

00:49:07.040 make his favorite meal, give him a massage or a movie night. I would, I have four kids,

00:49:11.680 you know, yes, you feel like crap by the time you're in your 37th week, but you have 37 weeks that you're,

00:49:18.320 or let's say 20 of them that you're feeling pretty good. As a matter of fact, 0.54

00:49:21.600 some of the women feel great. They feel sexier than ever. So, and also like the small things, 1.00

00:49:27.040 like involve, if your husband's the pet, my husband's not the type of guy, like he doesn't

00:49:30.320 want to go see the sonograms. He doesn't want to go to the doctor's office. Like, just let me know

00:49:33.920 when the baby's coming. But like, if your husband's that kind of guy, you know, have him, have him come

00:49:38.960 to the doctor's appointments with you, talk about the baby names, decorate the nursery, do a little

00:49:43.360 shopping. And yeah, ultimately like a little text message, like guys are so easy to please in that way,

00:49:49.360 a little text message from a wife. I love you, honey. I feel like a whale, but you make me feel

00:49:54.080 like a queen. Like that, you know, just be real, be nice. I love it. That's exactly right. I agree

00:50:01.120 with everything you said. I think just being, showing your love, showing that you respect him,

00:50:05.360 showing that you appreciate him, just telling him that is really important. And then just,

00:50:11.280 as you kind of mentioned, easy, spent quality time. So like, you want to, you're feeling tired,

00:50:17.200 you're feeling exhausted, honey, I'm going to order in pizza tonight, and I want to watch a movie with

00:50:21.040 you. And I don't want to do anything else, but spend time with you. Or like, we're going to play

00:50:25.520 a couple of board games, and we're going to keep it simple. But I don't have to do a lot because maybe

00:50:30.080 I'm too tired to make dinner tonight. But at least we're going to be spending time together. And I want

00:50:33.600 you to know I'm putting you first for that for the next two or three hours, whatever it is,

00:50:37.840 you can absolutely like devote. I think I've talked about this before, but I won't get into

00:50:44.000 it too much. But quality time really is important. And it's not like it's a unique thing that is only

00:50:49.440 one of the five loving love languages. My feeling is quality time is the love language that all of

00:50:54.480 the other love languages are built on. So using quality time is like the best way to show that

00:51:00.800 you appreciate your husband. So just saying, whatever it is, keep it simple. But I'm just going to be

00:51:05.840 focused on you for now because I want you to know that I love you and I'm so grateful for you.

00:51:11.040 I think that's plenty and he'll really appreciate it. Yeah, so well said.

00:51:15.760 So I think that is it for today's episode of the Classically Abbey podcast. Thank you

00:51:20.480 so much for coming on. Tell us where we can find you.

00:51:24.240 I'm a fan of music. You can do a quick Google that's CH like Hanukkah, 0.84

00:51:28.480 the weekly squeeze podcast Thursdays. I'm on Instagram. And yeah, I mean,

00:51:33.920 my podcast is a little different than yours. I don't speak specifically

00:51:37.120 as on feminism, the way you do on classical feminism, the way you do. It's more comedy, 0.77

00:51:43.200 politics and religion. But I do I have connected to you. So I do know that people like you,

00:51:48.320 they were like me and vice versa. My audience loved you. And it's always nice to make a connection

00:51:52.560 with women around the world. And I am grateful that you gave this opportunity.

00:51:56.480 I love having my followers, first of all, get to know more Orthodox Jewish creators. I think that's

00:52:01.760 so important for people to see us in this public space because not many people know Orthodox Jews

00:52:07.520 in person. So for them to see us, know us, know that we're normal, know that we have a lot of

00:52:12.640 really interesting points of view, I think is great. And on top of that, more women's,

00:52:18.080 not that I'm only for women or you're only for women as far as your podcast, but more women's

00:52:22.800 spaces are just great to be a part of. You get to be part of a community that you really enjoy.

00:52:27.200 And there's a different perspective in hearing from a woman as opposed to somebody else. So

00:52:30.960 I am really glad that I got to introduce you to my subscribers.

00:52:35.840 Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah. So thank you so much for coming on.

00:52:39.600 If you would like to subscribe, make sure to follow me on YouTube, on Instagram, on Twitter,

00:52:44.320 and you can follow this podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:52:47.760 Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you guys in my next episode. Bye.

Classically Abby - February 07, 2023

Chanale On Judaism Vs. Christianity, Conservatism, And Making Music In A Religious World ⧸⧸ Ep. 5

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