Classically Abby - Classic Does NOT Mean Perfect ｜｜ I have something to tell you...

00:00:00.080 hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about why 1.00

00:00:04.960 classic doesn't mean perfect a couple of days ago i posted a picture on instagram sitting in my car

00:00:14.000 without any makeup wearing a t-shirt waiting to go into the grocery store and the reason i shared

00:00:18.960 that picture with you guys was to show me in a sort of vulnerable state i had come to my husband

00:00:24.000 the night before pretty upset because i was feeling worried that i would come off to you guys

00:00:29.680 as a hypocrite i was worried that you would see all of my content about being classic

00:00:34.960 and think that i meant perfect there are times where i'm not perfect where for myself i want to 0.97

00:00:40.240 be the one cleaning the house i want to be the one doing the laundry and there are times i don't get

00:00:44.320 it all done or there are times where i don't stick to my routine and then the rest of my day i'm just

00:00:48.240 kind of off and don't get done what i want to do and i came to my husband and told him i was really

00:00:54.240 upset about this that i was worried that i was letting you guys down and letting myself down and

00:01:00.480 he's such a good man he sat down with me and he listened to all of my concerns and he helped me

00:01:05.680 realize being classic doesn't mean being perfect there is a really big difference between those two

00:01:10.560 things so i really wanted to share with you guys what my thoughts were on being classic and why it

00:01:15.280 doesn't mean being perfect so let's get into it first of all i definitely wasn't always classic now

00:01:21.520 classic means a few different things to me right but the first thing that i mean when i'm talking

00:01:25.520 about classic right now is being the kind of woman who's put together who spends time to make herself 1.00

00:01:32.640 feel beautiful who knows how to behave in certain social situations things like that i really didn't

00:01:39.120 know how to do my mom never wore makeup and so the idea of me wearing makeup wasn't something that

00:01:44.320 i really knew how to do i didn't learn how to do my makeup until i was 21 and i never did my hair

00:01:50.800 i always kind of just brushed it in the morning and left it as it was i never really knew how to be a

00:01:55.600 good guest at someone's home because i just so rarely stayed at anyone's house and things like that

00:02:00.240 meant that i wasn't really classic at that time and the reason i bring that up is because being classic

00:02:05.840 isn't something that necessarily you grow up with it's something that you can learn and i definitely

00:02:10.720 learned how to do and i think it's a nice thing that we can grow into it that we can become classic

00:02:15.920 as we get older as we change another thing for me is that i haven't always been classic in the way

00:02:21.440 that i live in the way that i practiced my values so i grew up in a religious home i was pretty

00:02:26.400 sheltered at the time and i didn't spend a lot of time facing situations where i was going to have to

00:02:30.880 put my values to a test and it wasn't until i left home for my master's degree in new york city

00:02:38.800 that i actually did come face to face with things that challenged my faith challenged my beliefs

00:02:44.960 and challenged my values and i struggled at the time i really did for example when i was in new

00:02:51.120 york city i struggled with my modesty i really wanted to dress in a way that i wouldn't dress now

00:02:57.760 where i was showing parts of my body off that i would never do at this point in my life and there

00:03:02.400 were a few reasons that i wanted to dress more immodestly one is that i kind of wanted to fit in

00:03:06.880 everyone around me was dressing in a way that was more modest and i felt a little bit self-conscious

00:03:11.520 that i wasn't dressing just like everybody else and so i was really pulled to fit in to wear clothing

00:03:17.280 that other people were wearing to go shopping and see clothing in the window and maybe buy that thing

00:03:22.800 that was in the window instead of constantly searching out something that was a certain length

00:03:27.040 or covered certain body parts and so it was a pull for that reason another reason i really liked

00:03:32.720 dressing immodestly was i love fashion i love the idea of wearing what's in style and following

00:03:38.400 the trends i really do i like the variety of different kinds of clothing that you can wear

00:03:43.520 and of course when you're dressing more modestly that's limited that's a little bit more limited than

00:03:47.920 it would be if you can wear absolutely whatever you want so i really enjoyed that part of it and

00:03:53.360 lastly i liked dressing in a way that got attention and i understand why women do it i understand why 0.97

00:04:00.880 women say that they want to dress that way for themselves but really when you're dressing that 1.00

00:04:04.720 way for yourself you're also getting attention from people so i understand that feeling and i

00:04:09.840 really felt that at the time i felt i really wanted to dress in a way that maybe made men look at me

00:04:15.120 in a certain way and at the time i thought that was body confidence i thought i was showing myself

00:04:20.160 off and that the only way to be confident was to show that you loved your body by revealing it

00:04:25.200 what i realized is that it actually made me less confident when i dressed in a way that was showing

00:04:30.720 off my body because i was trying to find my confidence through my body instead of being confident

00:04:36.800 in what i have but really the more important part of me is my personality and the things that i can

00:04:42.800 share with people otherwise but in any case i also strayed from my values with my physicality and i was

00:04:49.920 planning on being a virgin until marriage that was something that i found was a really important value

00:04:54.800 it's something of course i still value it's something that i did live out but when i moved

00:04:59.600 to new york city i changed my standards about the other things i was willing to do physically and i

00:05:04.400 definitely did things that now i regret which is why when i make a video like ladies stop hooking up 1.00

00:05:09.760 it's not from a place of judgment it's from a place of i understand the pull to do that because

00:05:14.640 i did it myself and it definitely didn't make me happier it's something that now i can look back on

00:05:20.720 and recognize how much of a mistake it was for me to do i would never do something physically with

00:05:26.880 a guy and then feel great about it the next day when i'm married absolutely now it's amazing but at

00:05:34.320 the time it was a really big mistake now of course i don't struggle with the physical stuff i have a

00:05:39.600 wonderful husband i'm married and i'm very happy but i still struggle with modesty sometimes because i do

00:05:45.200 like having variety in my closet and in my outfits and in fashion and i understand the pull to want

00:05:50.960 to be physical with people before you're married i mean it makes sense it's fun and exciting but at

00:05:56.480 the end of the day those actions even if they don't make you sad afterward don't have any sort of meaning

00:06:02.160 when you compare it to what you could have in a marriage and they don't build towards a marriage

00:06:06.160 either but here's the thing standards are important even if we as women don't ever reach the standard

00:06:12.160 of being classic which is perfect and shiny and never looks bad we may never get there because

00:06:18.080 we as humans aren't perfect and there are days where we are going to struggle where we're not

00:06:23.040 going to be able to get everything done that we wanted to do or get our hair done in that perfect way

00:06:28.080 or even just get dinner on the table it's not something that you can expect from yourself to be

00:06:33.280 perfect 100 of the time and i think about this sort of similarly to religion my husband and i are both

00:06:39.680 working our way towards being orthodox jews but my husband grew up reform i grew up orthodox so

00:06:45.520 orthodox judaism is a standard that both of us hold and when i say that it is a standard in this

00:06:51.600 sense i don't mean necessarily that it's unattainable it is definitely attainable and it's something that

00:06:56.400 the two of us can become as we work towards it as we learn more as we start observing more but being

00:07:02.880 orthodox jews is the standard for us and we don't want to change the standard to meet where we are at this

00:07:08.880 point but it's important for both of us to keep striving for that goal of becoming orthodox jews

00:07:14.240 over time and in a similar way is being classic it's fun for us as women to think about becoming

00:07:20.560 more classic over time even if we're not there right now and even if you have an off day having an

00:07:26.160 off day doesn't make you any less classic because being classic isn't just about the way that you dress

00:07:32.880 or the way that you hold yourself or the values that you live with it's also about having grace for

00:07:38.400 when you fall or stumble being a human is making mistakes being human is not being perfect but

00:07:45.200 being classic is accepting that there are days where you are human and the rest of the time you're

00:07:49.920 striving to be better doing away with the standard wouldn't do anyone any good having that standard

00:07:54.880 there is an incredible thing for us to push towards to grow towards and to have as a goal and a goal and

00:08:00.880 a mission in life are what give us purpose so i love the idea of working and striving towards being

00:08:06.640 classic even on the days where i don't reach it one of the things that i love about being religious is

00:08:11.440 that i can look in the torah and look at our forefathers and see that these were men who had

00:08:16.160 flaws who made mistakes but still did incredible things and had an incredible relationship with god

00:08:22.320 and it means that we too as people can make mistakes can fall can stumble and still come back from

00:08:28.880 that and still have a good relationship with god and still grow and become better over time so i really

00:08:34.800 wanted to say today that it's okay if you fall sometimes and if you aren't perfect when it comes

00:08:39.280 to your values when it comes to your classic way of living all of those things are things to aim for

00:08:44.880 and on those days when you don't actually make it there you're still being a classic person just

00:08:49.440 because you're aiming to be classic and i really wanted to thank you guys so much for the love on that

00:08:54.960 post that i did on my instagram it meant so much to see you guys in the comments to see that you

00:08:59.600 understood where i was coming from and that you actually appreciated that i was sharing with you

00:09:04.240 a moment of vulnerability because it can be scary to do that but i have the best followers and so you

00:09:10.640 guys really made it easy made me feel so loved so understood and it just was such a wonderful thing to

00:09:16.800 know that we all go through it there are days that none of us get the laundry done you know and so it's

00:09:22.080 just fun to hear what you guys are thinking and where you guys are at i just love communicating with you

00:09:26.960 guys so please continue to do that in the comments it does mean a lot to me let me know in the comments

00:09:31.760 a time that you've absolutely loved being classic or maybe even leave in the comments a time where

00:09:36.400 you didn't feel so classic i'd love to hear your thoughts thank you guys so much for watching today's

00:09:41.280 video please subscribe to my channel and blog if you haven't already head over to my twitter instagram

00:09:46.400 and facebook and follow me there hit that notification bell to get notified of all my new videos hit that

00:09:51.280 like button please head over to classicallyabby.locals.com if you'd like to support my channel see more of this

00:09:56.400 content and be part of our community and i'll see you guys in my next video bye

Classically Abby - July 24, 2020

Classic Does NOT Mean Perfect ｜｜ I have something to tell you...

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