Classic Does NOT Mean Perfect ｜｜ I have something to tell you...
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Summary
In this episode, we re talking about why being classic doesn t mean being perfect, and why dressing more modestly is much more important than dressing immodestly. I ve struggled with my modesty my whole life, and I m here to share my thoughts on why it s important to dress modestly.
Transcript
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hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about why
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classic doesn't mean perfect a couple of days ago i posted a picture on instagram sitting in my car
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without any makeup wearing a t-shirt waiting to go into the grocery store and the reason i shared
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that picture with you guys was to show me in a sort of vulnerable state i had come to my husband
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the night before pretty upset because i was feeling worried that i would come off to you guys
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as a hypocrite i was worried that you would see all of my content about being classic
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and think that i meant perfect there are times where i'm not perfect where for myself i want to
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be the one cleaning the house i want to be the one doing the laundry and there are times i don't get
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it all done or there are times where i don't stick to my routine and then the rest of my day i'm just
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kind of off and don't get done what i want to do and i came to my husband and told him i was really
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upset about this that i was worried that i was letting you guys down and letting myself down and
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he's such a good man he sat down with me and he listened to all of my concerns and he helped me
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realize being classic doesn't mean being perfect there is a really big difference between those two
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things so i really wanted to share with you guys what my thoughts were on being classic and why it
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doesn't mean being perfect so let's get into it first of all i definitely wasn't always classic now
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classic means a few different things to me right but the first thing that i mean when i'm talking
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about classic right now is being the kind of woman who's put together who spends time to make herself
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feel beautiful who knows how to behave in certain social situations things like that i really didn't
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know how to do my mom never wore makeup and so the idea of me wearing makeup wasn't something that
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i really knew how to do i didn't learn how to do my makeup until i was 21 and i never did my hair
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i always kind of just brushed it in the morning and left it as it was i never really knew how to be a
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good guest at someone's home because i just so rarely stayed at anyone's house and things like that
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meant that i wasn't really classic at that time and the reason i bring that up is because being classic
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isn't something that necessarily you grow up with it's something that you can learn and i definitely
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learned how to do and i think it's a nice thing that we can grow into it that we can become classic
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as we get older as we change another thing for me is that i haven't always been classic in the way
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that i live in the way that i practiced my values so i grew up in a religious home i was pretty
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sheltered at the time and i didn't spend a lot of time facing situations where i was going to have to
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put my values to a test and it wasn't until i left home for my master's degree in new york city
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that i actually did come face to face with things that challenged my faith challenged my beliefs
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and challenged my values and i struggled at the time i really did for example when i was in new
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york city i struggled with my modesty i really wanted to dress in a way that i wouldn't dress now
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where i was showing parts of my body off that i would never do at this point in my life and there
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were a few reasons that i wanted to dress more immodestly one is that i kind of wanted to fit in
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everyone around me was dressing in a way that was more modest and i felt a little bit self-conscious
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that i wasn't dressing just like everybody else and so i was really pulled to fit in to wear clothing
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that other people were wearing to go shopping and see clothing in the window and maybe buy that thing
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that was in the window instead of constantly searching out something that was a certain length
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or covered certain body parts and so it was a pull for that reason another reason i really liked
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dressing immodestly was i love fashion i love the idea of wearing what's in style and following
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the trends i really do i like the variety of different kinds of clothing that you can wear
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and of course when you're dressing more modestly that's limited that's a little bit more limited than
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it would be if you can wear absolutely whatever you want so i really enjoyed that part of it and
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lastly i liked dressing in a way that got attention and i understand why women do it i understand why
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women say that they want to dress that way for themselves but really when you're dressing that
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way for yourself you're also getting attention from people so i understand that feeling and i
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really felt that at the time i felt i really wanted to dress in a way that maybe made men look at me
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in a certain way and at the time i thought that was body confidence i thought i was showing myself
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off and that the only way to be confident was to show that you loved your body by revealing it
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what i realized is that it actually made me less confident when i dressed in a way that was showing
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off my body because i was trying to find my confidence through my body instead of being confident
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in what i have but really the more important part of me is my personality and the things that i can
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share with people otherwise but in any case i also strayed from my values with my physicality and i was
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planning on being a virgin until marriage that was something that i found was a really important value
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it's something of course i still value it's something that i did live out but when i moved
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to new york city i changed my standards about the other things i was willing to do physically and i
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definitely did things that now i regret which is why when i make a video like ladies stop hooking up
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it's not from a place of judgment it's from a place of i understand the pull to do that because
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i did it myself and it definitely didn't make me happier it's something that now i can look back on
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and recognize how much of a mistake it was for me to do i would never do something physically with
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a guy and then feel great about it the next day when i'm married absolutely now it's amazing but at
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the time it was a really big mistake now of course i don't struggle with the physical stuff i have a
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wonderful husband i'm married and i'm very happy but i still struggle with modesty sometimes because i do
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like having variety in my closet and in my outfits and in fashion and i understand the pull to want
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to be physical with people before you're married i mean it makes sense it's fun and exciting but at
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the end of the day those actions even if they don't make you sad afterward don't have any sort of meaning
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when you compare it to what you could have in a marriage and they don't build towards a marriage
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either but here's the thing standards are important even if we as women don't ever reach the standard
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of being classic which is perfect and shiny and never looks bad we may never get there because
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we as humans aren't perfect and there are days where we are going to struggle where we're not
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going to be able to get everything done that we wanted to do or get our hair done in that perfect way
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or even just get dinner on the table it's not something that you can expect from yourself to be
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perfect 100 of the time and i think about this sort of similarly to religion my husband and i are both
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working our way towards being orthodox jews but my husband grew up reform i grew up orthodox so
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orthodox judaism is a standard that both of us hold and when i say that it is a standard in this
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sense i don't mean necessarily that it's unattainable it is definitely attainable and it's something that
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the two of us can become as we work towards it as we learn more as we start observing more but being
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orthodox jews is the standard for us and we don't want to change the standard to meet where we are at this
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point but it's important for both of us to keep striving for that goal of becoming orthodox jews
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over time and in a similar way is being classic it's fun for us as women to think about becoming
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more classic over time even if we're not there right now and even if you have an off day having an
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off day doesn't make you any less classic because being classic isn't just about the way that you dress
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or the way that you hold yourself or the values that you live with it's also about having grace for
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when you fall or stumble being a human is making mistakes being human is not being perfect but
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being classic is accepting that there are days where you are human and the rest of the time you're
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striving to be better doing away with the standard wouldn't do anyone any good having that standard
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there is an incredible thing for us to push towards to grow towards and to have as a goal and a goal and
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a mission in life are what give us purpose so i love the idea of working and striving towards being
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classic even on the days where i don't reach it one of the things that i love about being religious is
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that i can look in the torah and look at our forefathers and see that these were men who had
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flaws who made mistakes but still did incredible things and had an incredible relationship with god
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and it means that we too as people can make mistakes can fall can stumble and still come back from
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that and still have a good relationship with god and still grow and become better over time so i really
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wanted to say today that it's okay if you fall sometimes and if you aren't perfect when it comes
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to your values when it comes to your classic way of living all of those things are things to aim for
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and on those days when you don't actually make it there you're still being a classic person just
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because you're aiming to be classic and i really wanted to thank you guys so much for the love on that
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post that i did on my instagram it meant so much to see you guys in the comments to see that you
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understood where i was coming from and that you actually appreciated that i was sharing with you
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a moment of vulnerability because it can be scary to do that but i have the best followers and so you
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guys really made it easy made me feel so loved so understood and it just was such a wonderful thing to
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know that we all go through it there are days that none of us get the laundry done you know and so it's
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just fun to hear what you guys are thinking and where you guys are at i just love communicating with you
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guys so please continue to do that in the comments it does mean a lot to me let me know in the comments
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a time that you've absolutely loved being classic or maybe even leave in the comments a time where
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you didn't feel so classic i'd love to hear your thoughts thank you guys so much for watching today's
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video please subscribe to my channel and blog if you haven't already head over to my twitter instagram
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content and be part of our community and i'll see you guys in my next video bye