Classically Abby - Conservative Women Q&A!! ｜｜ You guys asked some interesting questions...

00:00:00.000 Hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be 1.00

00:00:03.720 doing a conservative women's Q&A.

00:00:08.680 So I asked you guys on Instagram to send me all of your questions about being a

00:00:13.120 conservative woman. I've done a dating Q&A from a conservative perspective and so

00:00:17.160 I thought it would be interesting to ask you guys your questions about being a

00:00:20.880 conservative woman in 2020. So I'm really excited to look at these questions,

00:00:24.960 answer them as best as I can, and let's get into it. The first question says,

00:00:29.680 how do you find the courage to speak your mind in very liberal settings? This

00:00:34.360 is a really hard thing and I think it really depends on what kind of liberal

00:00:37.840 setting you're talking about. If you're in a liberal setting where it's going to

00:00:41.680 affect your career to speak out, where people shouldn't be talking about their

00:00:44.920 politics regardless of what side of the aisle they're on and people are breaking

00:00:48.520 that rule, but it will affect your income if you were to speak out about being a

00:00:52.720 conservative, I would say don't speak out. Don't engage in a conversation like that.

00:00:57.520 you can always kind of imply that you don't really want to talk about this

00:01:01.760 topic and people can kind of do with that what they will, but you don't have to

00:01:06.020 actually engage in a situation where it's only going to be harmful to you to do it.

00:01:10.780 Now if you're hanging out with friends or you're at a party and people are

00:01:14.120 talking about their liberal politics, it is hard to engage and just be strong

00:01:19.360 about your conservative views, but the best way to do it is always just to know

00:01:23.440 what you're talking about. As soon as you actually have the background and the

00:01:28.120 information to make the arguments that are more conservative, you won't feel

00:01:32.560 nervous or scared because you actually have everything you need to make a good

00:01:36.280 argument. And if you've ever been in a situation where you actually don't really

00:01:39.820 feel comfortable engaging in a conversation from a conservative

00:01:43.040 perspective because you don't know enough about that topic, you'll know that it's

00:01:46.240 uncomfortable, you feel a little bit nervous, you know you disagree but you

00:01:49.480 don't think that you have enough information to actually make a good

00:01:51.940 point. And I wouldn't recommend engaging in a conversation when you don't really

00:01:56.440 know what you're talking about because you're going to end up feeling a little

00:02:00.340 bit upset that you couldn't make your argument well. The best way to do it in a

00:02:04.120 liberal setting, if you're at a party and everybody is kind of having a

00:02:07.480 discussion about a topic that you do have an opinion on, just know what you're

00:02:11.040 talking about. Be kind, be respectful. I think that that's really an important

00:02:15.700 thing. Now if people are starting to be disrespectful to you, you should just change the

00:02:19.060 subject because they aren't trying to engage in a real conversation. But if

00:02:22.900 people are engaging in real conversation and everybody's being respectful to each

00:02:25.840 other, then it's great to get involved in those conversations, hear what the

00:02:29.000 other side has to say, make sure you feel solid in what you're talking about, and

00:02:32.740 that's a great way to really get better at talking about your ideas. The next

00:02:38.080 question is, stay friends with old friends who no longer share your views? I

00:02:41.440 would say it really depends on the friendship. Now if you have a friend who has a

00:02:46.120 different point of view but is comfortable talking about that different

00:02:49.360 point of view with you and doesn't think that you're a bad person for being more

00:02:52.220 conservative, then I think you can still be friends because maybe you guys share

00:02:56.320 things that have nothing to do with politics. Maybe you guys like going

00:02:59.020 shopping together or doing your makeup or whatever it is, and it really doesn't

00:03:02.260 have anything to do with your political ideology. Now if you guys are

00:03:05.860 constantly getting in fights and your friend is villainizing you or you're

00:03:09.440 villainizing your friend for having a different viewpoint, that's a friendship

00:03:13.000 that's gonna be really hard to maintain. But a friendship where both of you are

00:03:16.780 respectful of each other, where maybe you don't really talk about politics but you

00:03:20.260 just enjoy each other's company, that's okay. And if that's a friend that you value

00:03:24.100 then you should stay friends with them.

00:03:25.560 Were you always conservative growing up? If yes, how were your teenage years? I was

00:03:30.240 conservative growing up. It was difficult actually. When I was in high school a lot

00:03:34.500 of my friends were not conservative and they thought I was a little bit crazy for

00:03:38.140 being conservative and peer pressure was difficult. What I'll say is that I really took a

00:03:42.120 step back from politics when I started doing opera specifically for this reason

00:03:47.220 where I just didn't want to talk about politics and I didn't want to get involved

00:03:51.180 in talking about politics with the people around me because they really did

00:03:54.600 think I would be a bad person if I was conservative. So I really just didn't talk

00:03:59.040 about politics. I didn't read about it. I didn't inform myself because I just

00:04:02.520 didn't want to get into it. And I regret that because I think that it would have

00:04:05.940 been better for me to have learned more about my positions than if I had just

00:04:10.020 taken a step back like I did. But the way that I dealt with it while I was in high

00:04:14.160 school was that I really just tried to learn more about it, understand why I

00:04:18.660 thought what I thought, and not get involved in talking about it with a lot

00:04:21.780 of teenagers where emotions are running high and people really do just say

00:04:25.320 you're a bad person and throw you in the garbage if you don't agree with them.

00:04:29.100 Because I don't think that in high school people are actually thinking that 0.99

00:04:32.220 straight. So the camera died but we're back and I'm going to answer the next

00:04:37.080 question. The next question is how to deal with professors who lean toward the

00:04:41.880 left. That's a really hard one. Now it depends on your professor. If your

00:04:46.080 professor leans toward the left and you think they're gonna tank your grades by

00:04:49.380 you writing a paper that's more on the conservative side of things, don't risk

00:04:52.980 it. Don't get your grades down just so that you can say something that he

00:04:56.200 doesn't even care about and you're not gonna change his mind. But if it's the kind

00:04:59.600 of professor where he leans to the left but he's not gonna score you badly, do it!

00:05:03.720 Write what you believe! And if in your classes he's saying stuff that's very

00:05:07.740 left-leaning, I think it makes sense that you would want to speak up about it. So

00:05:11.580 as long as you know what you're talking about and you're not being contentious

00:05:14.220 and distracting the entire class for a very long time, I think it makes sense

00:05:17.760 that you would want to speak up in your classes. And it's gonna be even easier if

00:05:21.660 you have a friend in that class who shares your views, who can back you up and

00:05:25.260 you don't feel like you're gonna be the target of everybody's ire. Now I was in a

00:05:28.740 writing class in college where our teacher had us write on the board

00:05:31.320 left, right, center, and he told us what each news network was. So he said that

00:05:36.720 Fox was right, he said MSNBC was left, and he said Jon Stewart was center. Now if

00:05:42.940 you've ever watched Jon Stewart you know that is the farthest thing from the truth,

00:05:46.200 but because it was comedy he was able to say that it was center. And I probably

00:05:50.700 should have spoken up at that time and said Jon Stewart is not center, but I

00:05:54.840 didn't know the professor that well and I didn't know if that would have

00:05:57.820 affected my grades. Now thinking about it now I realize I probably could have

00:06:01.900 spoken to that professor. I think he was left-leaning, but he wasn't

00:06:04.840 necessarily going to tank my grades. So I probably should have said something,

00:06:07.720 especially for the students in my class who don't know anything about politics

00:06:11.080 and are gonna believe what their professors say. So if you can get away

00:06:14.140 with it, go for it. If you can't, then just keep it to yourself and talk to your

00:06:19.220 friends later if they bring it up to you and you think that it is an

00:06:22.000 appropriate time to say hey that wasn't really an unbiased opinion that he gave

00:06:25.600 us today in class. So that's my advice. The next question is, in the opera world do

00:06:30.700 you face active discrimination for your beliefs? How do you deal with it? I think

00:06:34.420 that I would have faced active discrimination for my beliefs if I had

00:06:37.120 been open about it, but I didn't and so I didn't face discrimination. But it is

00:06:41.380 something where everybody is talking about in the opera world their politics as

00:06:45.520 if everyone shares them and then you kind of feel like oh I probably shouldn't say

00:06:49.760 anything because if I don't agree that I'm gonna be the outsider, I'm not going

00:06:53.120 to be hired, I'm not gonna be able to make friends, and it just puts everyone in a

00:06:57.200 really bad position. In my opinion if you're in the workplace you shouldn't be

00:07:00.500 talking about politics. It's just not an appropriate place to do it because it's

00:07:04.000 not a place where people should be getting into conflicts about what they

00:07:06.320 believe their political ideology is. It's just not the place for it. So I found

00:07:10.460 that in the opera world people were talking about their politics a lot but only on the

00:07:14.660 left side of the aisle. And I didn't ever want to really admit that I was

00:07:17.480 conservative because I didn't know how things would turn out. I do remember that

00:07:21.080 a singer came to our school to give a master class at one point and she didn't

00:07:24.440 say anything political but one of my teachers came up to me afterward and said

00:07:27.800 did you know that she is a Republican? And it kind of gave me the idea that okay well

00:07:32.840 in the opera world you're not allowed to do that. You're not allowed to have a

00:07:36.080 conservative viewpoint. So yeah it was really hard so I just kept it to myself but

00:07:41.360 in my opinion in the workplace you should keep those views to yourself anyways.

00:07:44.520 The next question is is it better to speak up about things I care about and risk

00:07:48.300 receiving backlash or no? Again it depends on the situation. It depends on

00:07:52.580 what kind of backlash you're gonna get. If it's with family, if it's with friends, if

00:07:56.020 it's a situation where you're making progress by talking about your views and

00:07:59.900 you guys can actually hear each other's viewpoints, of course you should talk

00:08:02.980 about your views. Of course you should actually engage in conversation. But if it's

00:08:07.260 something where A you're gonna lose income or B you're gonna have worse grades, I

00:08:11.060 don't think it's worth it because you're not changing anyone's mind. And if you're

00:08:14.740 not able to have a real conversation where you actually help each other come

00:08:17.480 to new opinions, it's just not worth engaging in my opinion. But if you're in

00:08:21.860 a situation where you might receive a little bit of pushback or a little bit

00:08:25.140 of backlash but you're actually giving maybe a new perspective on something, might

00:08:30.180 be worth it. So read the room, read the situation, and that will tell you whether or

00:08:33.940 not it's worth talking about your views. The next question is how can I deal going to a

00:08:37.620 college campus whose students are always pushing their leftist agenda? In a

00:08:41.220 situation like that you really have to find those people who are going to share

00:08:45.420 your views. You need to go out of your way to go to Republican meetings or YAF or

00:08:49.940 whatever it is that there is on campus, maybe faith-based groups, where people are

00:08:53.700 going to be able to support you because there is a lot of peer pressure when

00:08:56.880 you're around people who have a different viewpoint and are going to

00:08:59.400 villainize you for being conservative. So it's important to search out those

00:09:03.660 people who share your viewpoint so you can support each other and boost each

00:09:07.260 other. And then always, always, always educate yourself on your opinions. When

00:09:11.980 you are faced with something that you totally disagree with, you actually have

00:09:14.780 a reason for disagreeing and it's not just, oh that's not the conservative party

00:09:18.220 line, but rather you actually know why you think the things that you think. So

00:09:21.660 always educate yourself. Always know why you think those things. But that's what I

00:09:25.820 would recommend. What do you recommend for bathing suits and what guidelines do you

00:09:29.260 try to follow? So I've gotten this question a couple of times in a few

00:09:32.380 different iterations, but with bathing suits it is a little bit tricky if

00:09:36.060 you're trying to be more modest. What I would recommend is wearing one pieces. I

00:09:39.420 think that one pieces are more on the modest side. If you want to wear kind of

00:09:42.780 swim shorts over it, you can. That also makes sense to me. If you're gonna wear a

00:09:46.620 two-piece, wear something that's very high-waisted and something that covers up

00:09:50.060 your chest more. And then always wearing a rash guard is a good option. If I'm in

00:09:53.420 public and I'm gonna go swimming, I don't want it to be all about my figure. I want to be

00:09:57.500 able to go and hang out and jump around and do whatever I want. And if I'm wearing

00:10:00.860 something that's very revealing, I'm gonna be self-conscious.

00:10:03.500 So I prefer to wear something that's a little bit more covered up, that's a

00:10:06.300 one-piece, and again it really just depends on your preference about if you

00:10:09.500 want to wear swim shorts or not. But that's what I would recommend.

00:10:12.140 The next question is, do you have any advice for avoiding bullying at school

00:10:15.740 over my views? Love from Australia. That's awesome! I'm so glad that you're

00:10:19.500 following my channel. My advice for you if you're being bullied over your views

00:10:23.900 is find a few friends that share those views, or if it's really hard and you can't even

00:10:28.380 find a few friends to share your views, just find support in your family. Remember

00:10:32.380 why you believe what you believe. Remember that there's a reason that you have

00:10:35.660 those views. Find strength in your faith if you're religious because people are 0.98

00:10:39.260 gonna bully you and they're gonna be mean to you. At the end of the day, that stuff

00:10:42.300 doesn't matter if you know that what you believe is right and that you've

00:10:45.740 educated yourself and you know why you believe what you believe. So those bullies

00:10:49.420 can kind of annoy you and bother you, but at the end of the day they're not

00:10:52.860 gonna affect you in the same way if you don't allow yourself to be affected.

00:10:56.620 You know for me on my channel I get a lot of bullies, a lot of people saying

00:11:00.380 really horrible things, but at the end of the day I don't really mind it because I

00:11:03.500 know what I'm saying is what I believe and I think what I'm saying is important.

00:11:06.620 So if you want to bully me, okay, but it's not going to really affect me at the end

00:11:10.140 of the day because I have strength in being conservative. So I think that's the best

00:11:14.780 way to kind of get around being bullied because it's hard to avoid, but there are

00:11:17.900 ways for you not to actually take it in and like hurt yourself when other people hurt you.

00:11:23.180 The next question is how to wait for marriage to be intimate and how to explain this choice

00:11:27.580 to your in-laws that are not respectful of that decision. That's a great question.

00:11:31.020 As far as waiting to be intimate with your spouse before you get married, there's a few ways that you

00:11:35.580 can prevent that. One is that you should never spend the night at somebody's house that you're

00:11:39.660 not married to. It's just going to lead you to do something that you don't want to do.

00:11:43.900 It's never worth sleeping over because at the end of the day as you continue to push boundaries,

00:11:48.060 those boundaries are going to keep moving until you're at the end point and that's not where you

00:11:51.980 want to be. So if you date, if you're careful about your physicality, if you really set up

00:11:56.700 strong boundaries and if you and your partner are on the same page, then you don't have to worry that

00:12:02.700 one of you is going to push the other one past the point of no return. So you really want to be

00:12:07.980 smart about how you engage physically with your partner. And there's a really nice concept in

00:12:12.380 Judaism and it's called Yehud. And Yehud means that you're not supposed to be alone with a man,

00:12:17.580 someone of the opposite gender, with the door closed. I think that's actually a pretty smart 1.00

00:12:21.660 philosophy. You can go out and about, right? Go on a date outdoors, around people, but you're not going

00:12:26.460 to be able to do anything that gets that far physically. Or if you guys are at your friend's

00:12:30.700 house and you guys are sitting together, that's totally fine. But as soon as that door is closed,

00:12:34.860 things can progress more quickly than you might think. So I would just say be careful about the

00:12:40.220 situations that you guys put yourselves in and trust each other that you guys aren't going to

00:12:44.460 push each other past the point that you want to go. Now as far as your in-laws, they don't really

00:12:49.340 get a say in how you guys choose to be physical with each other. Just don't tell them what you guys

00:12:54.460 are doing. They shouldn't really be involved in that decision anyways. That's really not something that

00:12:59.420 they should be saying yes or no about. And the other part of it is that you can have a talk with your

00:13:04.940 in-laws and just be honest and open with them and say this is something that's important to us. We've

00:13:08.940 decided we're not going to do this and we really hope that you guys can get on board with this

00:13:14.060 until we're married because when we're married obviously things are going to change. So it's

00:13:17.660 just important to start really good relationships with your in-laws from day one. So if you guys are

00:13:22.860 open and honest from day one about it and you guys try to open that line of communication, hopefully

00:13:28.140 they'll respond and be respectful about it. But if you guys kind of just joke about it and don't really

00:13:33.260 talk about the main topic, then it's just going to be a sore point rather than okay let's just be honest

00:13:38.380 with them, let's tell them what we really want to do, and for us that means waiting. The next

00:13:42.780 question says, hi I'm a 14 year old girl who's going into high school while creating a YAF chapter

00:13:47.260 this summer. Have you dealt with the loss of very good close friends because of your beliefs and

00:13:51.420 what you stand for? If so, do you have any advice for me going into high school with this possibly

00:13:55.660 happening to me? The answer is yes. I have lost friends for being conservative, I have lost friendships

00:14:01.100 for coming out and saying that I was conservative, and some of it wasn't like a hard break where people

00:14:06.140 called me and said I don't want to talk to you anymore, but they just stopped responding to my

00:14:09.740 texts or stopped answering or stopped reaching out to me. And that kind of thing is going to happen

00:14:14.940 and it's really hard. But going into high school what I would say is A don't assume that you're going

00:14:19.100 to lose friends because then it puts you guys in an awkward position just to start off, and that may

00:14:23.740 not be where your friends are at. They may feel that they want to stay friends with you and there's no

00:14:28.060 issue. So don't assume that's what's going to happen, but if it does you're going into high school,

00:14:33.020 you're really young, you're going to make new friends when you get there, and if you're starting

00:14:36.940 a YAFF chapter you're basically creating yourself your own community for people that you can hang

00:14:41.180 out with, which is great! People who want to support those views and aren't going to immediately say

00:14:45.500 you're a bad person for having them. So that's really exciting, and getting into high school is a cool

00:14:49.900 time where you can join clubs or start your own where people are going to be talking about the things

00:14:54.380 that you believe, but also you can join clubs that are interests that you have that have nothing to do with

00:14:58.860 politics, and you might end up making friends that don't talk about politics, that don't really care

00:15:03.580 about politics, and that's great too. So you might end up meeting new people when you're in high school,

00:15:07.500 and I would say just take advantage of that and you'll see what ends up happening. It'll be very

00:15:11.260 exciting, and hopefully you'll make friends that last a long time. The next question says,

00:15:15.500 Hi Abby, what are your thoughts on churches and other places of worship bringing politics within

00:15:20.220 church settings? I am not a huge fan of politics in church settings or in religious settings for a few

00:15:26.460 different reasons. Here's the deal when it comes to politics in religious settings. A lot of politics

00:15:32.220 kind of align with religious beliefs. A lot of orthodox Jewish beliefs align with being a conservative,

00:15:39.020 but there are people at our synagogue who are not conservative and feel alienated when we talk

00:15:43.500 about politics. Now I think what happens a lot is that you will have one side kind of take control

00:15:48.700 of a synagogue or a church, and then they'll bring in their own speakers, and then people who want to

00:15:53.180 bring in speakers from the other side aren't allowed to. So in my opinion, if you're going to

00:15:57.660 have a church or a synagogue that wants to engage in politics, it needs to be definitely even-handed.

00:16:04.140 It really needs to be bipartisan. If one side gets a hold of it and is just railroading the speakers

00:16:09.900 that get chosen or all of the topics and is making it all about one side or the other, then half of the

00:16:15.580 congregation is going to end up feeling alone, and that is never what should happen in a religious

00:16:20.700 setting. So if there's going to be bipartisanship, that's fine in my opinion, but if one side gets

00:16:27.100 control and is starting to just make everything about being Democrat or Republican, that's not

00:16:31.740 okay. So I would say it's not great unless it's done very, very well, which is very rarely the case.

00:16:38.300 Wow, that was an amazing list of questions. Thank you guys so much for writing in and submitting them.

00:16:44.220 It was really interesting to see what you guys were talking about and see how many of you have the same

00:16:48.620 problems. So it's really interesting to hear what other conservative women are struggling with 0.74

00:16:53.580 and how we're supposed to navigate the world. So thank you guys again so much for submitting those.

00:16:57.900 Let me know in the comments if you guys have any other questions, if you think that my answers made

00:17:01.580 sense, if you have any other suggestions for our classic crew, I'd love to hear. Thank you guys so much

00:17:07.180 for watching today's video. Please subscribe to my channel and blog if you haven't already.

00:17:11.500 Head over to Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and follow me there. Please hit that notification bell to get

00:17:15.820 notified of all my new videos. Hit that like button. Please head over to classicallyabbey.locals.com

00:17:20.940 if you'd like to support my channel, see more of this content, and be part of our community,

00:17:24.460 and I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye!

Classically Abby - July 07, 2020

Conservative Women Q&A!! ｜｜ You guys asked some interesting questions...

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