Conservative Women Q&A!! ｜｜ You guys asked some interesting questions...
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Summary
In this episode, we're doing a conservative women's Q&A about being a conservative woman in 2020. I'll be answering your questions about how to speak your mind in liberal settings and how to stay friends with conservative friends who don't share your political views.
Transcript
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Hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be
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So I asked you guys on Instagram to send me all of your questions about being a
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conservative woman. I've done a dating Q&A from a conservative perspective and so
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I thought it would be interesting to ask you guys your questions about being a
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conservative woman in 2020. So I'm really excited to look at these questions,
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answer them as best as I can, and let's get into it. The first question says,
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how do you find the courage to speak your mind in very liberal settings? This
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is a really hard thing and I think it really depends on what kind of liberal
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setting you're talking about. If you're in a liberal setting where it's going to
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affect your career to speak out, where people shouldn't be talking about their
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politics regardless of what side of the aisle they're on and people are breaking
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that rule, but it will affect your income if you were to speak out about being a
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conservative, I would say don't speak out. Don't engage in a conversation like that.
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you can always kind of imply that you don't really want to talk about this
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topic and people can kind of do with that what they will, but you don't have to
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actually engage in a situation where it's only going to be harmful to you to do it.
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Now if you're hanging out with friends or you're at a party and people are
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talking about their liberal politics, it is hard to engage and just be strong
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about your conservative views, but the best way to do it is always just to know
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what you're talking about. As soon as you actually have the background and the
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information to make the arguments that are more conservative, you won't feel
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nervous or scared because you actually have everything you need to make a good
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argument. And if you've ever been in a situation where you actually don't really
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feel comfortable engaging in a conversation from a conservative
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perspective because you don't know enough about that topic, you'll know that it's
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uncomfortable, you feel a little bit nervous, you know you disagree but you
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don't think that you have enough information to actually make a good
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point. And I wouldn't recommend engaging in a conversation when you don't really
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know what you're talking about because you're going to end up feeling a little
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bit upset that you couldn't make your argument well. The best way to do it in a
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liberal setting, if you're at a party and everybody is kind of having a
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discussion about a topic that you do have an opinion on, just know what you're
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talking about. Be kind, be respectful. I think that that's really an important
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thing. Now if people are starting to be disrespectful to you, you should just change the
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subject because they aren't trying to engage in a real conversation. But if
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people are engaging in real conversation and everybody's being respectful to each
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other, then it's great to get involved in those conversations, hear what the
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other side has to say, make sure you feel solid in what you're talking about, and
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that's a great way to really get better at talking about your ideas. The next
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question is, stay friends with old friends who no longer share your views? I
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would say it really depends on the friendship. Now if you have a friend who has a
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different point of view but is comfortable talking about that different
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point of view with you and doesn't think that you're a bad person for being more
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conservative, then I think you can still be friends because maybe you guys share
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things that have nothing to do with politics. Maybe you guys like going
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shopping together or doing your makeup or whatever it is, and it really doesn't
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have anything to do with your political ideology. Now if you guys are
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constantly getting in fights and your friend is villainizing you or you're
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villainizing your friend for having a different viewpoint, that's a friendship
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that's gonna be really hard to maintain. But a friendship where both of you are
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respectful of each other, where maybe you don't really talk about politics but you
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just enjoy each other's company, that's okay. And if that's a friend that you value
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Were you always conservative growing up? If yes, how were your teenage years? I was
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conservative growing up. It was difficult actually. When I was in high school a lot
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of my friends were not conservative and they thought I was a little bit crazy for
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being conservative and peer pressure was difficult. What I'll say is that I really took a
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step back from politics when I started doing opera specifically for this reason
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where I just didn't want to talk about politics and I didn't want to get involved
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in talking about politics with the people around me because they really did
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think I would be a bad person if I was conservative. So I really just didn't talk
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about politics. I didn't read about it. I didn't inform myself because I just
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didn't want to get into it. And I regret that because I think that it would have
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been better for me to have learned more about my positions than if I had just
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taken a step back like I did. But the way that I dealt with it while I was in high
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school was that I really just tried to learn more about it, understand why I
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thought what I thought, and not get involved in talking about it with a lot
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of teenagers where emotions are running high and people really do just say
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you're a bad person and throw you in the garbage if you don't agree with them.
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Because I don't think that in high school people are actually thinking that
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straight. So the camera died but we're back and I'm going to answer the next
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question. The next question is how to deal with professors who lean toward the
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left. That's a really hard one. Now it depends on your professor. If your
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professor leans toward the left and you think they're gonna tank your grades by
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you writing a paper that's more on the conservative side of things, don't risk
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it. Don't get your grades down just so that you can say something that he
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doesn't even care about and you're not gonna change his mind. But if it's the kind
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of professor where he leans to the left but he's not gonna score you badly, do it!
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Write what you believe! And if in your classes he's saying stuff that's very
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left-leaning, I think it makes sense that you would want to speak up about it. So
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as long as you know what you're talking about and you're not being contentious
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and distracting the entire class for a very long time, I think it makes sense
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that you would want to speak up in your classes. And it's gonna be even easier if
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you have a friend in that class who shares your views, who can back you up and
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you don't feel like you're gonna be the target of everybody's ire. Now I was in a
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writing class in college where our teacher had us write on the board
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left, right, center, and he told us what each news network was. So he said that
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Fox was right, he said MSNBC was left, and he said Jon Stewart was center. Now if
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you've ever watched Jon Stewart you know that is the farthest thing from the truth,
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but because it was comedy he was able to say that it was center. And I probably
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should have spoken up at that time and said Jon Stewart is not center, but I
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didn't know the professor that well and I didn't know if that would have
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affected my grades. Now thinking about it now I realize I probably could have
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spoken to that professor. I think he was left-leaning, but he wasn't
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necessarily going to tank my grades. So I probably should have said something,
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especially for the students in my class who don't know anything about politics
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and are gonna believe what their professors say. So if you can get away
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with it, go for it. If you can't, then just keep it to yourself and talk to your
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friends later if they bring it up to you and you think that it is an
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appropriate time to say hey that wasn't really an unbiased opinion that he gave
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us today in class. So that's my advice. The next question is, in the opera world do
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you face active discrimination for your beliefs? How do you deal with it? I think
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that I would have faced active discrimination for my beliefs if I had
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been open about it, but I didn't and so I didn't face discrimination. But it is
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something where everybody is talking about in the opera world their politics as
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if everyone shares them and then you kind of feel like oh I probably shouldn't say
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anything because if I don't agree that I'm gonna be the outsider, I'm not going
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to be hired, I'm not gonna be able to make friends, and it just puts everyone in a
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really bad position. In my opinion if you're in the workplace you shouldn't be
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talking about politics. It's just not an appropriate place to do it because it's
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not a place where people should be getting into conflicts about what they
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believe their political ideology is. It's just not the place for it. So I found
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that in the opera world people were talking about their politics a lot but only on the
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left side of the aisle. And I didn't ever want to really admit that I was
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conservative because I didn't know how things would turn out. I do remember that
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a singer came to our school to give a master class at one point and she didn't
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say anything political but one of my teachers came up to me afterward and said
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did you know that she is a Republican? And it kind of gave me the idea that okay well
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in the opera world you're not allowed to do that. You're not allowed to have a
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conservative viewpoint. So yeah it was really hard so I just kept it to myself but
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in my opinion in the workplace you should keep those views to yourself anyways.
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The next question is is it better to speak up about things I care about and risk
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receiving backlash or no? Again it depends on the situation. It depends on
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what kind of backlash you're gonna get. If it's with family, if it's with friends, if
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it's a situation where you're making progress by talking about your views and
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you guys can actually hear each other's viewpoints, of course you should talk
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about your views. Of course you should actually engage in conversation. But if it's
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something where A you're gonna lose income or B you're gonna have worse grades, I
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don't think it's worth it because you're not changing anyone's mind. And if you're
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not able to have a real conversation where you actually help each other come
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to new opinions, it's just not worth engaging in my opinion. But if you're in
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a situation where you might receive a little bit of pushback or a little bit
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of backlash but you're actually giving maybe a new perspective on something, might
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be worth it. So read the room, read the situation, and that will tell you whether or
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not it's worth talking about your views. The next question is how can I deal going to a
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college campus whose students are always pushing their leftist agenda? In a
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situation like that you really have to find those people who are going to share
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your views. You need to go out of your way to go to Republican meetings or YAF or
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whatever it is that there is on campus, maybe faith-based groups, where people are
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going to be able to support you because there is a lot of peer pressure when
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you're around people who have a different viewpoint and are going to
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villainize you for being conservative. So it's important to search out those
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people who share your viewpoint so you can support each other and boost each
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other. And then always, always, always educate yourself on your opinions. When
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you are faced with something that you totally disagree with, you actually have
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a reason for disagreeing and it's not just, oh that's not the conservative party
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line, but rather you actually know why you think the things that you think. So
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always educate yourself. Always know why you think those things. But that's what I
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would recommend. What do you recommend for bathing suits and what guidelines do you
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try to follow? So I've gotten this question a couple of times in a few
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different iterations, but with bathing suits it is a little bit tricky if
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you're trying to be more modest. What I would recommend is wearing one pieces. I
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think that one pieces are more on the modest side. If you want to wear kind of
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swim shorts over it, you can. That also makes sense to me. If you're gonna wear a
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two-piece, wear something that's very high-waisted and something that covers up
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your chest more. And then always wearing a rash guard is a good option. If I'm in
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public and I'm gonna go swimming, I don't want it to be all about my figure. I want to be
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able to go and hang out and jump around and do whatever I want. And if I'm wearing
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something that's very revealing, I'm gonna be self-conscious.
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So I prefer to wear something that's a little bit more covered up, that's a
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one-piece, and again it really just depends on your preference about if you
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want to wear swim shorts or not. But that's what I would recommend.
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The next question is, do you have any advice for avoiding bullying at school
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over my views? Love from Australia. That's awesome! I'm so glad that you're
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following my channel. My advice for you if you're being bullied over your views
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is find a few friends that share those views, or if it's really hard and you can't even
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find a few friends to share your views, just find support in your family. Remember
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why you believe what you believe. Remember that there's a reason that you have
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those views. Find strength in your faith if you're religious because people are
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gonna bully you and they're gonna be mean to you. At the end of the day, that stuff
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doesn't matter if you know that what you believe is right and that you've
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educated yourself and you know why you believe what you believe. So those bullies
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can kind of annoy you and bother you, but at the end of the day they're not
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gonna affect you in the same way if you don't allow yourself to be affected.
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You know for me on my channel I get a lot of bullies, a lot of people saying
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really horrible things, but at the end of the day I don't really mind it because I
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know what I'm saying is what I believe and I think what I'm saying is important.
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So if you want to bully me, okay, but it's not going to really affect me at the end
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of the day because I have strength in being conservative. So I think that's the best
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way to kind of get around being bullied because it's hard to avoid, but there are
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ways for you not to actually take it in and like hurt yourself when other people hurt you.
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The next question is how to wait for marriage to be intimate and how to explain this choice
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to your in-laws that are not respectful of that decision. That's a great question.
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As far as waiting to be intimate with your spouse before you get married, there's a few ways that you
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can prevent that. One is that you should never spend the night at somebody's house that you're
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not married to. It's just going to lead you to do something that you don't want to do.
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It's never worth sleeping over because at the end of the day as you continue to push boundaries,
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those boundaries are going to keep moving until you're at the end point and that's not where you
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want to be. So if you date, if you're careful about your physicality, if you really set up
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strong boundaries and if you and your partner are on the same page, then you don't have to worry that
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one of you is going to push the other one past the point of no return. So you really want to be
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smart about how you engage physically with your partner. And there's a really nice concept in
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Judaism and it's called Yehud. And Yehud means that you're not supposed to be alone with a man,
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someone of the opposite gender, with the door closed. I think that's actually a pretty smart
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philosophy. You can go out and about, right? Go on a date outdoors, around people, but you're not going
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to be able to do anything that gets that far physically. Or if you guys are at your friend's
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house and you guys are sitting together, that's totally fine. But as soon as that door is closed,
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things can progress more quickly than you might think. So I would just say be careful about the
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situations that you guys put yourselves in and trust each other that you guys aren't going to
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push each other past the point that you want to go. Now as far as your in-laws, they don't really
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get a say in how you guys choose to be physical with each other. Just don't tell them what you guys
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are doing. They shouldn't really be involved in that decision anyways. That's really not something that
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they should be saying yes or no about. And the other part of it is that you can have a talk with your
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in-laws and just be honest and open with them and say this is something that's important to us. We've
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decided we're not going to do this and we really hope that you guys can get on board with this
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until we're married because when we're married obviously things are going to change. So it's
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just important to start really good relationships with your in-laws from day one. So if you guys are
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open and honest from day one about it and you guys try to open that line of communication, hopefully
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they'll respond and be respectful about it. But if you guys kind of just joke about it and don't really
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talk about the main topic, then it's just going to be a sore point rather than okay let's just be honest
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with them, let's tell them what we really want to do, and for us that means waiting. The next
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question says, hi I'm a 14 year old girl who's going into high school while creating a YAF chapter
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this summer. Have you dealt with the loss of very good close friends because of your beliefs and
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what you stand for? If so, do you have any advice for me going into high school with this possibly
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happening to me? The answer is yes. I have lost friends for being conservative, I have lost friendships
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for coming out and saying that I was conservative, and some of it wasn't like a hard break where people
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called me and said I don't want to talk to you anymore, but they just stopped responding to my
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texts or stopped answering or stopped reaching out to me. And that kind of thing is going to happen
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and it's really hard. But going into high school what I would say is A don't assume that you're going
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to lose friends because then it puts you guys in an awkward position just to start off, and that may
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not be where your friends are at. They may feel that they want to stay friends with you and there's no
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issue. So don't assume that's what's going to happen, but if it does you're going into high school,
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you're really young, you're going to make new friends when you get there, and if you're starting
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a YAFF chapter you're basically creating yourself your own community for people that you can hang
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out with, which is great! People who want to support those views and aren't going to immediately say
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you're a bad person for having them. So that's really exciting, and getting into high school is a cool
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time where you can join clubs or start your own where people are going to be talking about the things
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that you believe, but also you can join clubs that are interests that you have that have nothing to do with
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politics, and you might end up making friends that don't talk about politics, that don't really care
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about politics, and that's great too. So you might end up meeting new people when you're in high school,
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and I would say just take advantage of that and you'll see what ends up happening. It'll be very
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exciting, and hopefully you'll make friends that last a long time. The next question says,
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Hi Abby, what are your thoughts on churches and other places of worship bringing politics within
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church settings? I am not a huge fan of politics in church settings or in religious settings for a few
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different reasons. Here's the deal when it comes to politics in religious settings. A lot of politics
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kind of align with religious beliefs. A lot of orthodox Jewish beliefs align with being a conservative,
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but there are people at our synagogue who are not conservative and feel alienated when we talk
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about politics. Now I think what happens a lot is that you will have one side kind of take control
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of a synagogue or a church, and then they'll bring in their own speakers, and then people who want to
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bring in speakers from the other side aren't allowed to. So in my opinion, if you're going to
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have a church or a synagogue that wants to engage in politics, it needs to be definitely even-handed.
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It really needs to be bipartisan. If one side gets a hold of it and is just railroading the speakers
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that get chosen or all of the topics and is making it all about one side or the other, then half of the
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congregation is going to end up feeling alone, and that is never what should happen in a religious
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setting. So if there's going to be bipartisanship, that's fine in my opinion, but if one side gets
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control and is starting to just make everything about being Democrat or Republican, that's not
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okay. So I would say it's not great unless it's done very, very well, which is very rarely the case.
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Wow, that was an amazing list of questions. Thank you guys so much for writing in and submitting them.
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It was really interesting to see what you guys were talking about and see how many of you have the same
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problems. So it's really interesting to hear what other conservative women are struggling with
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and how we're supposed to navigate the world. So thank you guys again so much for submitting those.
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Let me know in the comments if you guys have any other questions, if you think that my answers made
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sense, if you have any other suggestions for our classic crew, I'd love to hear. Thank you guys so much
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