Do I Think Birth Control Is IMMORAL？？ And Other SPICY Questions From YOU!
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Summary
In this episode, I am answering your spicy questions about parenting and modern dating. I talk about what I love most about my son, how I feel about modern dating, and what I think about modern marriage.
Transcript
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hello classic crew and welcome to today's video where i'm going to be answering your spicy
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questions if you are new to my channel here we talk about classic living and traditional values
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and i would love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification bell if you want
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access to my exclusive content make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com so
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over on instagram i asked you guys to submit some questions about absolutely anything and
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you guys had some good ones so i'm really excited to get into it today but let's hop right in okay so
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the first question we're going to do is what is your favorite thing about your baby his laugh his
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laugh is the best thing ever it is so good and he's so smart he laughs at things that it's not like
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tickling or doing something that is really like physical he laughs at things that are intellectual
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he's so clever i i'm obsessed with that boy he has the best laugh in the whole world the next question
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hey abby how is your wee one with feeding my youngest is being in absolute pain yeah so it depends what
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when we're talking about and what we're talking about so initially our breastfeeding journey was
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very hard because my son has reflux and i had an oversupply so that was not a great situation
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combination he was getting way too much milk way too quickly high levels of four milk so there wasn't
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a lot of fat in the milk which is really good for him his stomach was hurting him and it it just
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wasn't going well he was losing weight really quickly now he's on his medication i figured out my
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oversupply issue and he is a great eater he loves nursing he eats a ton when it comes to solids we
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had about a week and a half when we initially started which was just a couple weeks ago we
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initially started and he was like kind of into it and then there were days where he was totally
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uninterested and now all of a sudden he loves it like within we took a two-day break because he just
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didn't seem so interested in food yet and then i thought oh well this food's gonna go bad i might as well
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give it to him or try to before i throw it out and he went crazy for it mango loves green beans
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loves like it all worked out he's doing really good so if you're having a hard time with your baby
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don't worry it'll all work out just keep at it every baby figures it out my lactation consultant
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said that to me early on every baby figures it out and that was very comforting to me now whether that
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means breastfeeding or formula is a different story but your baby will be fine grow up healthy
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it'll all be wonderful your take on modern dating and any tips you may have in looking for a partner
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so i've definitely talked about relationships a lot about dating a lot i love talking about that stuff
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my take on modern dating is that it's terrible it's terrible for everybody especially for women women
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and really get the short end of the stick because if you want to wait to have sex until you're married
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you are in a market of competition where you're the only one and that makes sex cheap we talked i
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talked about this in a video i did on my channel after reading a book called cheap sex and that's
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really difficult um i think that there are ways to kind of get around that which is dating within your
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faith community having friends set you up having family set you up that's really helpful but modern dating
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is is just terrible like i i that's how i feel it's really hard i did not enjoy dating uh i enjoy marriage
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i think it's much more fun to have a solid stable relationship than to constantly be flitting from
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person to person and trying to search for that so yeah as far as any tips i may have in looking for
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a partner i would say that you just need to continually put yourself out there and it's really easy to get
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complacent when you're you've been dating a long time and you're tired and you don't want to go out
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again but you just kind of have to keep doing it if your friend sets you up go on the date if a
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family member sets you up go on the date just try not to say no when you're getting set up and if
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you're invited out go out that's what i would say is a good start as far as trying to meet people but
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there's like a million ways i could go with that advice so i figured i'd just go with that do you have
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friends who are liberals yes i do one of my closest friends is liberal she and i do not agree on politics
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at all and we are really close and it doesn't matter how many months apart do you want your kids
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to be we'd love them to be very close in age we have no say it's all god's plan but we would love
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them to be close in age how do i date for marriage at my age 21 it's hard to find someone who thinks
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like me i think that it's important to be in a community of people who do think like you so if
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you're a religious christian for example and you think that dating for marriage is important at 21
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you need to date another christian because christians are going to probably agree with you
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i know that in the jewish community dating for marriage at 21 is absolutely normal and what
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you're supposed to do and if i were to go into the broader world they would think that i was crazy for
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dating for marriage at 21 but dating amongst jews that was totally normal so you actually have to date
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among people who do agree with you how to stop feeling like i'm running out of time to start a
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family even though i'm 22. yeah you're very young i didn't get married until i was 24 and i had my
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first baby when i was 28 and i still want to have a really big family you are not running out of time
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so i think that the the big thing is don't have time sickness if you want to have a family you've got
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many years to do so and you don't want to make yourself crazy to the point where
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you're missing out on the life that you're living right now now i believe that you should get
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married and have children i mean of course that's my credo but it also doesn't mean you have to
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invalidate the the stage of life you're in now and not enjoy it don't feel like where you are now
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isn't worthy of your attention if that makes sense yes you should date for marriage yes you should
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continue to put yourself out there and take that seriously but 22 and being young and having a good time
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and enjoying life that's all important too take advantage of this time because it's different
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when you get married and have kids it's different in a positive way but it is different so it's okay
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to kind of enjoy where you're at now while also making plans for your future will you bring back
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the scoop so i don't think i'm ever going to bring back the scoop but i have so much content on my sub
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stack that kind of overlaps with that where we share highlights about our week on my podcast with
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my husband classically ever after where i have weekly exclusive articles i have zoom chats all
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that stuff is available on my sub stack so i don't really feel like it's necessary to do it back here
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on youtube again what is your favorite non-political non-religious non-family topic of conversation i would
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say probably art so like movies music tv shows plays stuff that i like to watch that's entertaining and then
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kind of picking it apart and discussing it later i love that stuff i really like discussing that
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um i don't know if dating and relationships counts but i love talking about that stuff which i already
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mentioned but that's the stuff that i enjoy speaking about even when i'm not talking about politics or
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family or that stuff have any workout techniques or tricks especially with having to keep up a house
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um yes if you can get dumbbells that's going to be a big game changer
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um just taking half an hour when your baby goes for a nap if that's how long your baby naps for
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because i know at the beginning things are kind of crazy but once your baby gets into more of a
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schedule and naps for a little bit longer in one of those naps just making sure to go do some
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weightlifting or something like that and that can be in your house i personally live near a gym so i can
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just walk to it and my husband works from home right now so he can just stay with the baby but if you
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don't have that capability to go to a gym just having some dumbbells in your home like a set of
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dumbbells is very helpful what does it look like to not use electricity on sabbath it's wonderful so
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you don't have your phone you don't have tv you are all focused on people you don't have the
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distraction of anything else you're just focused on your friends and your family and it's great i love
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that we don't drive we all walk to each other so your neighborhood is filled with little kids playing
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on the street parents watching from their porches it's the best and you don't have to worry about
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getting distracted with work or anything else you are all in focused on the people who matter and
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on your faith because you go to synagogue and you walk to synagogue it's wonderful now what i'll say is
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we do have some workarounds as far as the electricity thing like we don't use electricity in the sense
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that we won't flip on or turn off a light but we can leave a light on so if the lights are on in our
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house already and we don't touch them that's fine we have hot plates which are basically just hot trays
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that stay hot all of sabbath so we can put food on it and it'll like heat it up from the bottom
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we don't cook that food on that hot plate it just reheats food that's already made so you do
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have electricity but it can't be started or stopped on sabbath what is your favorite type of food
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i would say probably mexican i do like mexican food i don't know man i really like a lot of different
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a lot of different cuisines jacob really got me into sushi and i know that that's crazy because i used
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to hate sushi but now i really like sushi and um yeah so i guess maybe sushi oh this is a this is an
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interesting one do you think birth control is moral okay so here's the story with that morality wise
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because physical wise i just don't think it's good for your body i've tried it it did not work for me
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i put out a video a long time ago saying like it doesn't it doesn't work for me if it works for you
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that's fine but it doesn't work for me that was before i learned that that being on the pill can
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cause early abortions it's like a fail safe built into the pill is that if a an egg does get fertilized
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it prevents it from attaching on the uterine wall so i didn't know that for a long time i just thought
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that the birth control pill was fine it wasn't plan b it wasn't like the um copper iud which does the
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same thing it just prevents an egg from implanting onto the wall a fertilized egg but the pill in very
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fine writing if you understand how it works can cause the abortion of a fertilized egg so i don't think
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that birth control is moral i think that there are a lot of other better healthier methods that are
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good for your body and don't introduce hormones into your body and if you actually learn how to
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use them well they are they can have pretty high efficacy rates but that's just that's just what i
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believe that's my spicy answer for the day hello how many piercings do you have three
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i have the ones on my ears and i have a little one on the side which i almost never put anything in
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i did have one up here for a brief moment and then i took it out because i didn't like that i couldn't
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sleep on that side so and i fainted when i got that piercing so i have three how are you enjoying florida
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loving it i love it i'm so happy here yeah it is so so good i'm thank you for asking
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was being a mom everything you expected i'm a single dad and absolutely love it
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i don't know what i expected because it's weird to think about what my perception of motherhood was
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before i had my baby but it's better than anything i ever anticipated it's the best thing that's ever
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happened to me i love my son so much i love playing with him i love raising him
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it's really the best thing ever so yeah it's it's good it's really good do you will you use child
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care at this point my mom will come by every so often to help but i i don't have child care other
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than that i don't foresee us using child care in the future outside of family but you never know i
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i i don't want to do that at this point that's not something i'm looking to do but it i don't ever
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want to say never just in case that that becomes relevant so yeah how tall are you question mark
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exclamation point i'm five eight what's your favorite jewish ritual for lack of a better word
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love your content well thank you um let's say sukkot so sukkot is the festival of booths we all sit
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outside and eat outside i love the the sukkah the sukkah is the booth i love it it's so fun to decorate
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it to sit outside with your for your meals i just love the whole idea of sukkot and it's something that
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i grew up with and really loved and i would sit outside in the morning and drink my coffee and read
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harry potter um but i really love sukkot please do cooking videos again pretty please okay
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what is your favorite city in the usa that's a good question boston's cool i like old parts
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of philadelphia i don't like the main like newer parts but the old historical parts basically the
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historical parts of america i think are really cool how do you feel about kids having ipads or tablets
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when they are barely two or three years old not good i don't feel good about it i don't want my
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my kids to have ipads or tablets it's just not something i'm a fan of i am much more interested in
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them having physical toys to play with or to go outside and run around i don't like screen time uh we
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avoid screen time with our son and we probably will avoid that for as long as possible we feel that kids
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should watch tv only with the parents like we all watch it as a family we watch a movie or we watch a
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tv show as a family um not a fan of not a fan of screen time or tablets for kids just not not
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something we want to do did you ever have a rebellious phase or something like that
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so in a sense yes i went off the derach is the phrase in hebrew but it's like went off the path
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and became less religious between 22 and 24. so for two years i was not acting classically i will say
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that i i did not i look back on those years and i think i didn't i didn't live them well um but now
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i can use that experience and hopefully guide women away from making those same mistakes
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so i did have a rebellious phase in a sense it wasn't the silly kind of like teenage rebellion
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but it was older rebellion what i wanted what the media told me women should want when i followed
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the narrative of girl bossing that was when i kind of was on a rebellious phase and then once i realized
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that was bad for me bad for my life bad for my future cut it out the reality of postpartum anything
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you would change the reality of immediate postpartum is that it's really hard and for some women it's not
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but for many many women it is and i think that there's this feeling that there's going to be
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bliss and euphoria after you have your baby and especially for your first one it's it was not the
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case for me like it was wonderful being a mom and i loved my baby but the actual practice of being a mom
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was so hard and you're getting used to this whole new life and new role it's just really hard so that's
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the reality of it if there's anything i would change it would just be to if i knew what i know now
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that that really hard period is only about 10 weeks long i think i would have valued and enjoyed it and
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taken it slower when i was in it as opposed to trying to see the end of the tunnel constantly and
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like pushing my way through those first 10 weeks but the nice thing about it is that now i know so for
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any future children we have i can kind of tell myself that even in those really hard days that
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newborn stage is still so small and so short that we will get through it and it'll be fine advice for
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a new homeowner to help keep sane during renovations i mean i'm not a homeowner and i've never lived in
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a home while it's being renovated but what i would assume is a good piece of advice kind of based off
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of moving i would translate it over to the moving and unpacking process home being renovated probably
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similar is have one space in your house where there's nothing in there that's not supposed to
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be aka it's clean so that when everything else is like a mess and is making you crazy you can go to
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that one space and unwind and relax that's really important when you're moving and unpacking and
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it's i would assume very important when you're renovating do you think women should be modest
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regardless of their body types so what this woman is asking is whether or not a woman who is skinnier
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and doesn't have as many curves needs to be as modest as a woman who is very curvy yes the modesty
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though is going to look different a woman who is very curvy and has a bigger chest and all of that
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if she wears something low cut she's going to immediately be a modest whereas a woman who has
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a smaller chest if she wears something that's the same level of low cut may be modest i mean she's not
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showing cleavage probably so you have to be smart about what modesty is going to look like for your
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body type so you may not be able to wear the same things but you don't want to show a lot of skin in
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either case and it's really most important to just look beautiful as opposed to sexy and attracting
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so if you can put on clothing that's flattering and beautiful and makes you feel elegant that's true for
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either body type and i think that the problem is is when we get into telling women who are curvier to
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wear baggier clothes to be modest i'm not a fan of that because that's not fair to women who are curvy
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because baggy clothes look really bad on women who are curvy and baggy clothes can look really
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good on women who are a little bit more straight up and down so that's not my recommendation my
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recommendation is dress your body in a flattering way that doesn't show too much skin and that's not
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like so skin tight that you're leaving nothing to the imagination are you handling baby boy's growth
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well emotionally happy and sad with my kiddos growing i'm handling it well but also i'm sad
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like i'll look at him in the morning and he looks like a totally different kid than he looked like
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the night before and it's just so crazy how fast time is going it was really funny i was talking to
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my husband about this and i said something like i can't believe how quickly time is passing and and he
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just goes we're dead we're already dead and i thought that was the funniest thing we both started
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laughing like we're already going through fat life so quickly like we can already see how fast it's going
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so it's it's a really crazy thing when you become a parent because time all of a sudden has meaning
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and you can see it passing you can see time passing in a much more concrete way
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but it's i mean it's amazing and i'm so happy to see him grow and get stronger and smarter and
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healthier it's simple it's a blessing where did you get your star necklace does it have a story
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i love it well thank you i'm wearing it right now so my husband got it for me it's from a brand called
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jennifer miller jewelry and he bought it for me when i hit 50 000 subscribers on youtube so i really love
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it i wear it all the time i wear these three necklaces all the time unless i'm doing something
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a little bit fancier then i'll put on um a few of my other pieces or if i'm trying to be a little
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bit more trendy but i would say that 90 of the time i'm wearing these what would you say is the ideal age
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to get married and the ideal age to have kids so i don't think there's an ideal age except you know
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below 35 because it's more important that you marry the right person but i would say that the
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ideal age to get married is when you meet the right person and the ideal age to have kids
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if you can make it work and you're not already a little too old would be about two years after you
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get married so you have two years to get to know each other work things out figure out your life
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figure out your relationship and then when you bring kids into that you're already really established
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so that doesn't always work because if you get married at 30 and you want to have a bigger family
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then it's hard but if you have the time i think that that's a good kind of a good formulation okay
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so we're just going to do a couple more questions let's do this one what are you loving about florida
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most we recently moved to jack's from new york so the thing i would say we're loving the most about
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florida is well i mean it depends if you're asking about florida as a place i like the heat i don't like
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that it's so hot right now but i like the heat and that it's going to stay like nice weather wise i
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think that's a really nice thing and i like that it's sunny all the time well not all the time but
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most of the time but if we're talking about why i love florida it's the things that i've talked about
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before which is that my family is here there's an amazing jewish community which we absolutely love
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and we like that it's a red state so yeah okay last question how to be patient during the engagement
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period i'm excited but want to use it wisely the engagement period is the hardest i think it's
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really hard on you i've described it before as standing on the edge of a diving board with on your
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tiptoes ready to jump in but you're not doing it so you're just kind of waiting to actually make solid
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that commitment it's like an uncomfortable feeling you're just in between two two zones
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but i think that the way to enjoy it is to first of all don't make it too long that's number one
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and number two is to just continue to date each other and make sure that you're not only talking
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about the wedding because i think that that's really how things get exhausting is that if you're
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spending a year where every time you talk to each other it's wedding wedding wedding like that's just
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not fun so make sure that you are spending time with each other that is nothing to do with wedding
00:23:09.200
planning so that is it for today's video i hope you guys enjoyed it if you aren't already subscribed
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to my channel make sure to subscribe and hit that notification bell make sure to head over to my
00:23:18.800
substack newsletter so you can get access to a ton of exclusive content if you'd like to follow me on
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social media it's at classically abby absolutely everywhere thank you so much for watching and i'll see you