Classically Abby - Do I Think Birth Control Is IMMORAL？？ And Other SPICY Questions From YOU!

00:00:00.160 hello classic crew and welcome to today's video where i'm going to be answering your spicy

00:00:05.760 questions if you are new to my channel here we talk about classic living and traditional values

00:00:15.200 and i would love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification bell if you want

00:00:18.880 access to my exclusive content make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com so

00:00:24.080 over on instagram i asked you guys to submit some questions about absolutely anything and

00:00:29.760 you guys had some good ones so i'm really excited to get into it today but let's hop right in okay so

00:00:34.960 the first question we're going to do is what is your favorite thing about your baby his laugh his

00:00:41.760 laugh is the best thing ever it is so good and he's so smart he laughs at things that it's not like

00:00:50.160 tickling or doing something that is really like physical he laughs at things that are intellectual

00:00:57.360 he's so clever i i'm obsessed with that boy he has the best laugh in the whole world the next question

00:01:03.920 hey abby how is your wee one with feeding my youngest is being in absolute pain yeah so it depends what

00:01:11.840 when we're talking about and what we're talking about so initially our breastfeeding journey was

00:01:17.520 very hard because my son has reflux and i had an oversupply so that was not a great situation

00:01:26.160 combination he was getting way too much milk way too quickly high levels of four milk so there wasn't

00:01:32.160 a lot of fat in the milk which is really good for him his stomach was hurting him and it it just

00:01:38.080 wasn't going well he was losing weight really quickly now he's on his medication i figured out my

00:01:43.440 oversupply issue and he is a great eater he loves nursing he eats a ton when it comes to solids we

00:01:50.960 had about a week and a half when we initially started which was just a couple weeks ago we

00:01:56.560 initially started and he was like kind of into it and then there were days where he was totally

00:02:01.520 uninterested and now all of a sudden he loves it like within we took a two-day break because he just

00:02:06.720 didn't seem so interested in food yet and then i thought oh well this food's gonna go bad i might as well

00:02:11.360 give it to him or try to before i throw it out and he went crazy for it mango loves green beans

00:02:18.880 loves like it all worked out he's doing really good so if you're having a hard time with your baby

00:02:24.880 don't worry it'll all work out just keep at it every baby figures it out my lactation consultant

00:02:31.840 said that to me early on every baby figures it out and that was very comforting to me now whether that

00:02:37.840 means breastfeeding or formula is a different story but your baby will be fine grow up healthy

00:02:44.320 it'll all be wonderful your take on modern dating and any tips you may have in looking for a partner

00:02:51.440 so i've definitely talked about relationships a lot about dating a lot i love talking about that stuff

00:02:57.760 my take on modern dating is that it's terrible it's terrible for everybody especially for women women 0.86

00:03:03.360 and really get the short end of the stick because if you want to wait to have sex until you're married

00:03:08.480 you are in a market of competition where you're the only one and that makes sex cheap we talked i 0.96

00:03:15.680 talked about this in a video i did on my channel after reading a book called cheap sex and that's

00:03:20.160 really difficult um i think that there are ways to kind of get around that which is dating within your

00:03:26.880 faith community having friends set you up having family set you up that's really helpful but modern dating

00:03:32.800 is is just terrible like i i that's how i feel it's really hard i did not enjoy dating uh i enjoy marriage

00:03:41.040 i think it's much more fun to have a solid stable relationship than to constantly be flitting from

00:03:45.840 person to person and trying to search for that so yeah as far as any tips i may have in looking for

00:03:52.320 a partner i would say that you just need to continually put yourself out there and it's really easy to get

00:03:57.840 complacent when you're you've been dating a long time and you're tired and you don't want to go out

00:04:02.560 again but you just kind of have to keep doing it if your friend sets you up go on the date if a

00:04:07.600 family member sets you up go on the date just try not to say no when you're getting set up and if

00:04:13.440 you're invited out go out that's what i would say is a good start as far as trying to meet people but

00:04:20.000 there's like a million ways i could go with that advice so i figured i'd just go with that do you have

00:04:25.280 friends who are liberals yes i do one of my closest friends is liberal she and i do not agree on politics

00:04:31.840 at all and we are really close and it doesn't matter how many months apart do you want your kids

00:04:38.000 to be we'd love them to be very close in age we have no say it's all god's plan but we would love

00:04:44.480 them to be close in age how do i date for marriage at my age 21 it's hard to find someone who thinks

00:04:50.160 like me i think that it's important to be in a community of people who do think like you so if

00:04:56.400 you're a religious christian for example and you think that dating for marriage is important at 21

00:05:00.880 you need to date another christian because christians are going to probably agree with you 0.98

00:05:04.880 i know that in the jewish community dating for marriage at 21 is absolutely normal and what

00:05:09.600 you're supposed to do and if i were to go into the broader world they would think that i was crazy for

00:05:14.560 dating for marriage at 21 but dating amongst jews that was totally normal so you actually have to date 0.99

00:05:20.480 among people who do agree with you how to stop feeling like i'm running out of time to start a

00:05:25.760 family even though i'm 22. yeah you're very young i didn't get married until i was 24 and i had my

00:05:32.240 first baby when i was 28 and i still want to have a really big family you are not running out of time

00:05:37.200 so i think that the the big thing is don't have time sickness if you want to have a family you've got

00:05:44.160 many years to do so and you don't want to make yourself crazy to the point where

00:05:48.960 you're missing out on the life that you're living right now now i believe that you should get

00:05:54.160 married and have children i mean of course that's my credo but it also doesn't mean you have to

00:05:59.360 invalidate the the stage of life you're in now and not enjoy it don't feel like where you are now

00:06:05.360 isn't worthy of your attention if that makes sense yes you should date for marriage yes you should

00:06:10.480 continue to put yourself out there and take that seriously but 22 and being young and having a good time

00:06:16.880 and enjoying life that's all important too take advantage of this time because it's different

00:06:22.320 when you get married and have kids it's different in a positive way but it is different so it's okay

00:06:28.560 to kind of enjoy where you're at now while also making plans for your future will you bring back

00:06:35.280 the scoop so i don't think i'm ever going to bring back the scoop but i have so much content on my sub

00:06:41.200 stack that kind of overlaps with that where we share highlights about our week on my podcast with

00:06:46.080 my husband classically ever after where i have weekly exclusive articles i have zoom chats all

00:06:52.320 that stuff is available on my sub stack so i don't really feel like it's necessary to do it back here

00:06:56.960 on youtube again what is your favorite non-political non-religious non-family topic of conversation i would

00:07:03.440 say probably art so like movies music tv shows plays stuff that i like to watch that's entertaining and then

00:07:14.640 kind of picking it apart and discussing it later i love that stuff i really like discussing that

00:07:19.600 um i don't know if dating and relationships counts but i love talking about that stuff which i already

00:07:24.160 mentioned but that's the stuff that i enjoy speaking about even when i'm not talking about politics or

00:07:28.880 family or that stuff have any workout techniques or tricks especially with having to keep up a house

00:07:36.000 um yes if you can get dumbbells that's going to be a big game changer

00:07:40.480 um just taking half an hour when your baby goes for a nap if that's how long your baby naps for

00:07:47.040 because i know at the beginning things are kind of crazy but once your baby gets into more of a

00:07:50.480 schedule and naps for a little bit longer in one of those naps just making sure to go do some

00:07:56.400 weightlifting or something like that and that can be in your house i personally live near a gym so i can

00:08:01.360 just walk to it and my husband works from home right now so he can just stay with the baby but if you

00:08:07.600 don't have that capability to go to a gym just having some dumbbells in your home like a set of 0.97

00:08:12.800 dumbbells is very helpful what does it look like to not use electricity on sabbath it's wonderful so

00:08:20.400 you don't have your phone you don't have tv you are all focused on people you don't have the

00:08:26.000 distraction of anything else you're just focused on your friends and your family and it's great i love

00:08:32.320 that we don't drive we all walk to each other so your neighborhood is filled with little kids playing

00:08:36.640 on the street parents watching from their porches it's the best and you don't have to worry about

00:08:43.440 getting distracted with work or anything else you are all in focused on the people who matter and

00:08:49.840 on your faith because you go to synagogue and you walk to synagogue it's wonderful now what i'll say is

00:08:55.520 we do have some workarounds as far as the electricity thing like we don't use electricity in the sense

00:09:00.800 that we won't flip on or turn off a light but we can leave a light on so if the lights are on in our

00:09:07.280 house already and we don't touch them that's fine we have hot plates which are basically just hot trays

00:09:12.720 that stay hot all of sabbath so we can put food on it and it'll like heat it up from the bottom

00:09:17.200 we don't cook that food on that hot plate it just reheats food that's already made so you do

00:09:22.480 have electricity but it can't be started or stopped on sabbath what is your favorite type of food

00:09:29.840 i would say probably mexican i do like mexican food i don't know man i really like a lot of different

00:09:37.840 a lot of different cuisines jacob really got me into sushi and i know that that's crazy because i used

00:09:43.280 to hate sushi but now i really like sushi and um yeah so i guess maybe sushi oh this is a this is an

00:09:52.720 interesting one do you think birth control is moral okay so here's the story with that morality wise

00:10:00.080 because physical wise i just don't think it's good for your body i've tried it it did not work for me

00:10:05.680 i put out a video a long time ago saying like it doesn't it doesn't work for me if it works for you

00:10:10.400 that's fine but it doesn't work for me that was before i learned that that being on the pill can

00:10:18.720 cause early abortions it's like a fail safe built into the pill is that if a an egg does get fertilized

00:10:27.040 it prevents it from attaching on the uterine wall so i didn't know that for a long time i just thought

00:10:34.960 that the birth control pill was fine it wasn't plan b it wasn't like the um copper iud which does the

00:10:43.200 same thing it just prevents an egg from implanting onto the wall a fertilized egg but the pill in very

00:10:50.240 fine writing if you understand how it works can cause the abortion of a fertilized egg so i don't think

00:11:00.160 that birth control is moral i think that there are a lot of other better healthier methods that are

00:11:07.760 good for your body and don't introduce hormones into your body and if you actually learn how to

00:11:13.680 use them well they are they can have pretty high efficacy rates but that's just that's just what i

00:11:20.880 believe that's my spicy answer for the day hello how many piercings do you have three 1.00

00:11:27.840 i have the ones on my ears and i have a little one on the side which i almost never put anything in

00:11:34.560 i did have one up here for a brief moment and then i took it out because i didn't like that i couldn't

00:11:40.720 sleep on that side so and i fainted when i got that piercing so i have three how are you enjoying florida

00:11:48.800 loving it i love it i'm so happy here yeah it is so so good i'm thank you for asking

00:11:56.880 was being a mom everything you expected i'm a single dad and absolutely love it

00:12:03.440 i don't know what i expected because it's weird to think about what my perception of motherhood was

00:12:10.240 before i had my baby but it's better than anything i ever anticipated it's the best thing that's ever

00:12:17.280 happened to me i love my son so much i love playing with him i love raising him

00:12:21.600 it's really the best thing ever so yeah it's it's good it's really good do you will you use child

00:12:30.400 care at this point my mom will come by every so often to help but i i don't have child care other

00:12:37.520 than that i don't foresee us using child care in the future outside of family but you never know i

00:12:45.280 i i don't want to do that at this point that's not something i'm looking to do but it i don't ever

00:12:52.480 want to say never just in case that that becomes relevant so yeah how tall are you question mark

00:12:58.000 exclamation point i'm five eight what's your favorite jewish ritual for lack of a better word

00:13:05.520 love your content well thank you um let's say sukkot so sukkot is the festival of booths we all sit

00:13:14.480 outside and eat outside i love the the sukkah the sukkah is the booth i love it it's so fun to decorate

00:13:23.120 it to sit outside with your for your meals i just love the whole idea of sukkot and it's something that

00:13:29.600 i grew up with and really loved and i would sit outside in the morning and drink my coffee and read

00:13:33.840 harry potter um but i really love sukkot please do cooking videos again pretty please okay

00:13:43.120 what is your favorite city in the usa that's a good question boston's cool i like old parts

00:13:51.040 of philadelphia i don't like the main like newer parts but the old historical parts basically the

00:13:55.840 historical parts of america i think are really cool how do you feel about kids having ipads or tablets

00:14:01.360 when they are barely two or three years old not good i don't feel good about it i don't want my

00:14:07.760 my kids to have ipads or tablets it's just not something i'm a fan of i am much more interested in

00:14:15.920 them having physical toys to play with or to go outside and run around i don't like screen time uh we

00:14:22.880 avoid screen time with our son and we probably will avoid that for as long as possible we feel that kids

00:14:29.760 should watch tv only with the parents like we all watch it as a family we watch a movie or we watch a

00:14:35.200 tv show as a family um not a fan of not a fan of screen time or tablets for kids just not not

00:14:42.560 something we want to do did you ever have a rebellious phase or something like that

00:14:47.440 so in a sense yes i went off the derach is the phrase in hebrew but it's like went off the path

00:14:54.080 and became less religious between 22 and 24. so for two years i was not acting classically i will say

00:15:03.760 that i i did not i look back on those years and i think i didn't i didn't live them well um but now

00:15:12.320 i can use that experience and hopefully guide women away from making those same mistakes 0.93

00:15:17.760 so i did have a rebellious phase in a sense it wasn't the silly kind of like teenage rebellion

00:15:23.440 but it was older rebellion what i wanted what the media told me women should want when i followed 0.98

00:15:31.120 the narrative of girl bossing that was when i kind of was on a rebellious phase and then once i realized

00:15:37.440 that was bad for me bad for my life bad for my future cut it out the reality of postpartum anything

00:15:44.880 you would change the reality of immediate postpartum is that it's really hard and for some women it's not

00:15:52.400 but for many many women it is and i think that there's this feeling that there's going to be

00:15:56.640 bliss and euphoria after you have your baby and especially for your first one it's it was not the

00:16:01.200 case for me like it was wonderful being a mom and i loved my baby but the actual practice of being a mom

00:16:07.520 was so hard and you're getting used to this whole new life and new role it's just really hard so that's

00:16:15.040 the reality of it if there's anything i would change it would just be to if i knew what i know now

00:16:22.640 that that really hard period is only about 10 weeks long i think i would have valued and enjoyed it and

00:16:28.960 taken it slower when i was in it as opposed to trying to see the end of the tunnel constantly and

00:16:35.120 like pushing my way through those first 10 weeks but the nice thing about it is that now i know so for

00:16:41.440 any future children we have i can kind of tell myself that even in those really hard days that

00:16:46.320 newborn stage is still so small and so short that we will get through it and it'll be fine advice for

00:16:53.280 a new homeowner to help keep sane during renovations i mean i'm not a homeowner and i've never lived in

00:16:59.840 a home while it's being renovated but what i would assume is a good piece of advice kind of based off

00:17:06.640 of moving i would translate it over to the moving and unpacking process home being renovated probably

00:17:13.520 similar is have one space in your house where there's nothing in there that's not supposed to

00:17:18.960 be aka it's clean so that when everything else is like a mess and is making you crazy you can go to

00:17:25.600 that one space and unwind and relax that's really important when you're moving and unpacking and

00:17:31.120 it's i would assume very important when you're renovating do you think women should be modest 0.99

00:17:37.120 regardless of their body types so what this woman is asking is whether or not a woman who is skinnier 0.95

00:17:45.360 and doesn't have as many curves needs to be as modest as a woman who is very curvy yes the modesty 1.00

00:17:50.960 though is going to look different a woman who is very curvy and has a bigger chest and all of that 1.00

00:17:57.600 if she wears something low cut she's going to immediately be a modest whereas a woman who has 1.00

00:18:01.840 a smaller chest if she wears something that's the same level of low cut may be modest i mean she's not 0.99

00:18:06.720 showing cleavage probably so you have to be smart about what modesty is going to look like for your

00:18:13.680 body type so you may not be able to wear the same things but you don't want to show a lot of skin in

00:18:19.280 either case and it's really most important to just look beautiful as opposed to sexy and attracting

00:18:28.480 so if you can put on clothing that's flattering and beautiful and makes you feel elegant that's true for

00:18:34.080 either body type and i think that the problem is is when we get into telling women who are curvier to

00:18:40.400 wear baggier clothes to be modest i'm not a fan of that because that's not fair to women who are curvy 1.00

00:18:46.960 because baggy clothes look really bad on women who are curvy and baggy clothes can look really 0.88

00:18:51.840 good on women who are a little bit more straight up and down so that's not my recommendation my 1.00

00:18:58.880 recommendation is dress your body in a flattering way that doesn't show too much skin and that's not

00:19:05.840 like so skin tight that you're leaving nothing to the imagination are you handling baby boy's growth

00:19:11.920 well emotionally happy and sad with my kiddos growing i'm handling it well but also i'm sad

00:19:20.080 like i'll look at him in the morning and he looks like a totally different kid than he looked like

00:19:24.000 the night before and it's just so crazy how fast time is going it was really funny i was talking to

00:19:29.760 my husband about this and i said something like i can't believe how quickly time is passing and and he

00:19:36.160 just goes we're dead we're already dead and i thought that was the funniest thing we both started

00:19:41.120 laughing like we're already going through fat life so quickly like we can already see how fast it's going

00:19:46.480 so it's it's a really crazy thing when you become a parent because time all of a sudden has meaning

00:19:53.200 and you can see it passing you can see time passing in a much more concrete way

00:19:58.240 but it's i mean it's amazing and i'm so happy to see him grow and get stronger and smarter and

00:20:05.680 healthier it's simple it's a blessing where did you get your star necklace does it have a story

00:20:10.800 i love it well thank you i'm wearing it right now so my husband got it for me it's from a brand called

00:20:17.280 jennifer miller jewelry and he bought it for me when i hit 50 000 subscribers on youtube so i really love

00:20:24.400 it i wear it all the time i wear these three necklaces all the time unless i'm doing something

00:20:28.640 a little bit fancier then i'll put on um a few of my other pieces or if i'm trying to be a little

00:20:34.560 bit more trendy but i would say that 90 of the time i'm wearing these what would you say is the ideal age

00:20:39.760 to get married and the ideal age to have kids so i don't think there's an ideal age except you know

00:20:46.480 below 35 because it's more important that you marry the right person but i would say that the

00:20:54.160 ideal age to get married is when you meet the right person and the ideal age to have kids

00:21:00.960 if you can make it work and you're not already a little too old would be about two years after you

00:21:06.560 get married so you have two years to get to know each other work things out figure out your life

00:21:11.840 figure out your relationship and then when you bring kids into that you're already really established

00:21:17.120 so that doesn't always work because if you get married at 30 and you want to have a bigger family

00:21:21.040 then it's hard but if you have the time i think that that's a good kind of a good formulation okay

00:21:27.760 so we're just going to do a couple more questions let's do this one what are you loving about florida

00:21:32.880 most we recently moved to jack's from new york so the thing i would say we're loving the most about

00:21:39.520 florida is well i mean it depends if you're asking about florida as a place i like the heat i don't like

00:21:46.160 that it's so hot right now but i like the heat and that it's going to stay like nice weather wise i

00:21:50.720 think that's a really nice thing and i like that it's sunny all the time well not all the time but

00:21:55.840 most of the time but if we're talking about why i love florida it's the things that i've talked about

00:22:01.360 before which is that my family is here there's an amazing jewish community which we absolutely love

00:22:07.200 and we like that it's a red state so yeah okay last question how to be patient during the engagement

00:22:15.440 period i'm excited but want to use it wisely the engagement period is the hardest i think it's

00:22:22.240 really hard on you i've described it before as standing on the edge of a diving board with on your

00:22:26.720 tiptoes ready to jump in but you're not doing it so you're just kind of waiting to actually make solid

00:22:32.800 that commitment it's like an uncomfortable feeling you're just in between two two zones

00:22:39.280 but i think that the way to enjoy it is to first of all don't make it too long that's number one

00:22:46.480 and number two is to just continue to date each other and make sure that you're not only talking

00:22:52.800 about the wedding because i think that that's really how things get exhausting is that if you're

00:22:57.200 spending a year where every time you talk to each other it's wedding wedding wedding like that's just

00:23:03.040 not fun so make sure that you are spending time with each other that is nothing to do with wedding

00:23:09.200 planning so that is it for today's video i hope you guys enjoyed it if you aren't already subscribed

00:23:14.640 to my channel make sure to subscribe and hit that notification bell make sure to head over to my

00:23:18.800 substack newsletter so you can get access to a ton of exclusive content if you'd like to follow me on

00:23:23.200 social media it's at classically abby absolutely everywhere thank you so much for watching and i'll see you

00:23:27.520 guys in my next video bye

Classically Abby - September 06, 2022

Do I Think Birth Control Is IMMORAL？？ And Other SPICY Questions From YOU!

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript