Classically Abby - June 17, 2020


Don't Let VANITY Stop You From Living Your Life!! || Vanity VS. Taking Care Of Your Looks


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

199.01825

Word Count

2,311

Sentence Count

98

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

Vanity and taking care of your looks are two different things and there is a big difference between the two. I talk about the difference and why it is important to take care of yourself so that you do not become vain.


Transcript

00:00:00.320 Hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
00:00:04.720 the difference between vanity and taking care of your looks.
00:00:11.120 I think a lot of women and people just generally get confused between
00:00:15.040 vanity and taking care of the way that you look because they do have some overlap.
00:00:20.480 But there is a really big difference and I think it's important to know what that difference is
00:00:26.560 because if you think that vanity and taking care of your looks is the same thing
00:00:30.400 then you might not take care of your looks because you're afraid that that would be vain.
00:00:35.040 And if you do take care of your looks you shouldn't have to feel bad about it if you're not crossing
00:00:40.000 over into the line of vanity. So I really want to clarify what the difference is, what the line is,
00:00:46.640 and let's get into it. So vanity is a whole host of things and I have actually a list right in front of
00:00:53.520 me of the difference between vanity and taking care of your looks. So when I think of somebody
00:01:00.160 vain I think of somebody who cares an unhealthy amount about the way that they look. They worry
00:01:06.320 about it all the time they'll take hours upon hours to get ready and not just because they have the
00:01:11.200 time or because it's fun but they literally will not take a picture or leave the house if they haven't
00:01:16.480 sat down in front of a mirror and done their hair and makeup for hours upon hours. Now if you have the
00:01:22.240 time or if you're going to an event or if you've planned that in advance I think that's okay but
00:01:27.760 there are people who literally will not leave the house if they don't look like they have spent hours
00:01:33.440 upon hours getting ready and that is a problem because vanity will prevent you from actually living
00:01:39.600 your life. Now taking care of yourself that's a whole different matter. Taking care of yourself
00:01:45.040 involves kind of keeping your nails clean if that means painting them or just keeping them filed or
00:01:50.640 trimmed. Doing your hair maybe a few times a week so that it looks nice and you don't have to wash it.
00:01:56.160 Doing a quick face of makeup or doing more if you have the time but not making everyone else wait
00:02:02.880 while you get ready. It's making sure that you look beautiful and presentable when you go out into
00:02:08.080 the world so that you make a nice first impression. It's not I need to look this way or I will not leave
00:02:13.840 the house. It's I want to look presentable because that's important for mental health and it's good
00:02:19.280 for me to take care of myself and to look like I take care of myself. Being vain is not about mental
00:02:25.520 health. It's actually the opposite because it's not healthy how much you care about your looks. So if you
00:02:32.800 just want to look nice, if you want to spend a little bit of time getting ready because you can,
00:02:38.000 that is totally fine and it's important. It's good to take care of your looks. It's good to look nice
00:02:44.160 but it can't be your entire focus. Another example of vanity is when you go out and you're with your
00:02:51.280 friends and you're taking pictures and there's that one friend who has to look at every picture
00:02:56.400 that's been taken and make sure that they retake the photo a bunch of times to make sure that they
00:03:00.880 look perfect. That is vain. When you go out with friends and someone out of the kindness of their heart
00:03:06.960 offers to take a picture of you, don't take advantage of that. That's vanity to just ask that
00:03:11.920 person to take picture upon picture so that you look absolutely perfect or perfect to you. If you
00:03:17.760 are just somebody who wants to look nice and is simply taking care of yourself, you'll recognize
00:03:22.480 that photos are not about modeling opportunities. They're about making memories. This is something
00:03:27.920 that I kind of like about myself is that I really don't care what I look like in photos most of the
00:03:32.640 time. If my husband and I go out and we're taking pictures together, I really don't care if we don't
00:03:37.440 look amazing in every photo. Now if I'm taking a picture for Instagram or for my work, I of course
00:03:43.200 want to look nice so I'm not going to be super happy if the pictures I take for that don't look great.
00:03:49.040 But when it's not for work, when it's just with friends or family and it's just something I'm going to
00:03:53.360 put in a photo album, I don't need to look amazing. I can look just okay. I can look like I put in
00:04:00.480 effort into my hair and put effort into my clothing and my makeup, but if my angle is off, who cares?
00:04:06.880 No one else is going to see it except me and my grandkids, hopefully, if I save it for that long.
00:04:11.680 So somebody who really cares about how they look in every single picture and doesn't ever want
00:04:16.160 pictures taken of them because they don't want anyone to know what they look like from a bad angle,
00:04:20.320 that's a problem. That is vain. And somebody who just wants to take care of their looks because
00:04:24.800 they know it's important too is not going to care in the same way. Now if you're vain, another thing
00:04:29.920 that you might do is you won't leave the house if you don't think you look perfect. You actually will
00:04:35.920 not leave if you have a zit or you will not go out with your friends or your husband if your hair
00:04:42.000 didn't turn out the way you wanted it. That is not what life is about and that is a sign that you're
00:04:47.840 acting in a vain way. If you're living your life in a way where you want to take care of your looks
00:04:52.560 but you're not going to drive yourself crazy and obsessively about how you look, then you know that
00:04:58.800 life is more about experiences. So you want to look nice, you'll put in an effort, if things don't turn
00:05:04.560 out 100%, you throw your hair up in a ponytail and you go out and you live your life. One of the things I did have to
00:05:11.440 learn was how to do my makeup quickly. I used to do my makeup and it would always take a pretty long
00:05:16.480 time and so I wouldn't make people wait but I personally would make sure that I had that amount
00:05:21.600 of time before we left. I would start earlier so that my makeup was done and I realized it was really
00:05:27.760 stopping me from having the time to just do life experiences because I always wanted my makeup to
00:05:33.120 look absolutely perfect and that wasn't a great thing for me. So I learned how to do my makeup in five
00:05:38.560 minutes in 10 minutes and even 15 minutes depending on the look so that if we wanted to do a spur of the
00:05:44.560 moment trip I could look nice and not be crazy about it where I wouldn't leave the house. It's so
00:05:50.240 much more important to live your life and have those nice experiences and just look presentable, look nice
00:05:56.560 and not look like a model at every single second because at the end of the day those experiences are
00:06:02.560 going to be what you remember. So taking care of your looks, looking nice, putting in a little bit of extra time
00:06:07.760 and effort that's great but putting in so much time and effort that that is your main focus and you
00:06:13.920 have to look good more than anything else that's vanity. Someone who is vain needs people to notice
00:06:21.200 them. When they spend that much time on the way that they look it is imperative and important that
00:06:26.640 people go out of their way to mention it, notice them, say something to them and if you are vain that's
00:06:33.680 really what you live for. But if you are somebody who just is taking care of your looks, wants to look
00:06:39.040 nice, someone like me who loves putting on nice clothing and doing my hair and doing my makeup
00:06:43.760 but I don't need everyone in the room to say something to me or I need to be the focus of the
00:06:48.320 attention or people to notice outright. I just want to look nice. It's not about people noticing me and
00:06:55.440 going out of their way to notice me. It's more that I just fit in with the general atmosphere and don't draw
00:07:01.280 attention to actually looking less nice than the people around me. And that is why taking care of
00:07:07.360 yourself is so important because then you're not drawing attention to yourself by being the person
00:07:12.560 who looks totally different and didn't take care of themselves. Whereas being vain is drawing
00:07:18.160 attention to yourself for a totally different reason where it's I put in so much effort people
00:07:22.240 have to notice me. People have to look at how beautiful I am. And this can really cross over into
00:07:28.640 not just hair and makeup looks but also into the way that you exercise and eat.
00:07:33.200 Being vain is really caring about the way that you look so much that you will never splurge on an
00:07:38.960 ice cream cone. You will never eat anything that's unhealthy because you have to look like a model.
00:07:46.240 Whereas taking care of yourself is eating healthily because it's good for you. Not because you need to
00:07:51.840 look a certain way or fit into a certain skirt but because it's really important that you just be
00:07:58.400 healthy. And so you eat healthily. Maybe you have an ice cream every now and then because hey it's fun
00:08:03.200 it's summer time for goodness sake. But it's not that you have to look beautiful and you have to look cut
00:08:11.120 and toned. You should look good. You should look healthy. You should put in effort into your body.
00:08:16.080 And if you are a fitness person who's doing it because you love fitness that's a different thing
00:08:21.600 altogether. But if it's because you need to look a certain way that's vanity. Being healthy is what
00:08:28.560 somebody who takes care of themselves thinks about looking hot being attention grabbing that's vanity.
00:08:34.800 And the last thing about being vain is that you will take more and more measures to be beautiful. You
00:08:42.000 will be so intense about the way that you look that you will do anything to maintain what you believe
00:08:49.200 is beauty. You might do liposuction or get a nose job or lip fillers and all of these things that you
00:08:56.000 consider are your standards of beauty. But it just keeps on going and you don't ever have an end point
00:09:03.200 because you always need to be better. Whereas if you are just taking care of your looks then you're not
00:09:09.120 going to drive yourself crazy about the way that you look. You're not going to keep on going without
00:09:14.400 an end point to make yourself beautiful. You're really just trying to maintain a certain level of
00:09:20.080 beauty. Now I'm not totally against certain things. After you have a baby, if your body has taken some
00:09:27.440 sort of hit and you really feel strongly about fixing that with surgery, hey, I'm not opposed to that. I
00:09:34.000 understand it. But it's the women who are perfectly fine looking and beautiful and are still continually
00:09:42.480 getting surgeries to make themselves look quote unquote better when it's really more about vanity.
00:09:49.040 I'm not saying surgery to improve your appearance is always wrong. I'm just saying that if you are doing
00:09:55.680 it forever and always to make yourself continually looking better so that you can get people's attention,
00:10:01.440 you might want to consider if it's for the right reasons and if it's for vanity's sake. When you're
00:10:07.760 taking care of your looks you really just want to maintain that certain level of beauty that will
00:10:12.880 give you a good feeling for your mental health but more than that will just make sure you look
00:10:18.720 presentable when you go out into the real world and that is super important. So as you guys know I'm a
00:10:26.240 huge proponent of taking care of the way that you look, exercising, eating healthy, brushing your
00:10:31.120 hair, doing your makeup, all of those things are super important. Of course we don't want to cross
00:10:36.480 over into vanity territory but I wanted to clear up the difference between those two things because I
00:10:42.640 think that there is some sort of confusion about taking care of your looks being vanity and if you need
00:10:48.560 to take a few minutes in the morning to beautify yourself that's not vanity. You want to be presentable,
00:10:53.920 you want to look nice, but you're not consciously trying to draw attention to yourself in an obsessive
00:10:59.600 way and so that for me is the big big difference. Let me know in the comments what you think the
00:11:05.280 difference between vanity and taking care of yourself is, how you take care of yourself in a
00:11:09.760 way that you don't think leans over into vanity. Let me know your thoughts. Thank you guys so much for
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