Elisha Krauss On Feminism, Homeschooling, And The Importance of Conservatism ⧸⧸ Ep. 9
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Summary
On today's episode of Classically Abbie, I chat with conservative media personality Alicia Krauss all about feminism, homeschooling, and the importance of conservatism, particularly for women. All this and more on today s episode of the classically abby podcast.
Transcript
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Chatting with Alicia Krauss all about feminism, homeschooling, and the importance of conservatism,
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particularly for women. All this and more on today's episode of the Classically Abbey podcast.
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I'm so excited to have Alicia on the show. I'm so glad you're here. How are you doing?
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Yeah, it feels like it's been forever. Actually, I don't know the last time we saw each other in
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person, but I've known you for years. Yeah, I think it might have been I was pregnant with my third and
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now I'm pregnant with my fourth. Like, oh, my gosh, fire office with your I think then fiance.
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Yeah, I think you're right. I think that's exactly right. So how's LA treating you?
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Good. I mean, this weird rain we're having, I told my husband the other day, I'm like,
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did we just like transplant to Seattle and nobody told us?
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But on my gosh, I think it's been good because the aqueducts are filling up. It's been good because
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it exposes government incompetence, but it's been bad because I'm sure that you've heard in the San
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Bernardino Mountains, like Arrowhead, Big Bear area. I think there's something like 11,000 residents
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stranded and without power. And Gavin Newsom is sipping margaritas at a five star resort in Baja.
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So that's great. Of course. Of course he is. So I'm really excited to get into it. We're going to
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even talk or even going to touch on this topic on you staying in LA. And but let's get started here
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because not all of my subscribers know what you do. And you have been in the conservative movement
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for your entire career, kicking butt and taking names. But can you tell my subscribers how you got
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started and what your mission is? Yeah, I've always been a political geek. I'm a homeschool nerd from
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the Bible Belt whose mom ran for public office twice, who was the chairwoman of the GOP. She'd write
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a weekly op-ed in the local newspaper tackling cultural and political issues of the week. So
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that's kind of always been my environment. My paternal grandfather was a district judge. And I remember
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being interested in watching the OJ Simpson trial as a little kid. I'm 37. So I'm a grandma millennial
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and a geriatric pregnancy, by the way, in case you didn't know that fact. And I just remember just
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being fascinated with news and politics from a very young age. So at 18, I moved to New York City to go
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to college and had always had a job. So I was bored just going to school full time and Googled internships
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and got started interning at WABC, which is the radio station that originally syndicated Sean Hannity,
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Mark Levin, and I believe even Rush Limbaugh, and felt like always loved talk radio. And that, I don't know,
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I joke, I dug my grave. So now I have to lie in it. That was at 18. And I haven't left the conservative
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media world since. And I would say that I think my purpose has definitely shifted. I think in the past, it's been a
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supporting role for other people and other talent, whether it was Sean or your brother. But then
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weirdly being like on air colleagues with people as well, never anticipated that change. And I think
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now being freelance and consulting and speaking with YAF and at conferences and stuff, I think really my
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mission is to speak for those who can't speak for themselves, because college campuses specifically
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in the United States are the battleground. We're seeing all of these cultural battles that we're
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having to fight politically and religiously and for parental rights. And so I really appreciate and
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enjoy it. When I hear from women, most of my audience is 80% women between the ages of 18 and 45.
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And when I hear from them, Hey, thanks for saying that thing, because I took it to my mommy and me play
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date. And I was able to like, say what you said, and be like, Hey, look at what this chick said and
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open up a conversation with my liberal friend. Or Hey, can you come to our campus and talk about
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these issues? Because I can't talk about it, or I could get expelled. So being a voice, I think for
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the voiceless. And if little of me can do that, then I think anybody can.
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That's an amazing mission. And I think that's so inspiring. I feel similarly in a lot of ways. I'm
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actually speaking with YAF on a campus in a couple months, which I'm excited about. But it is,
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it's so important for us to show women, college students, that there is a place for you and that
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you can speak on these topics. If you're brave enough, or if you're not, if you're in a situation
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where, you know, even if you were brave, it would be totally inappropriate for you to speak on it.
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There are people out there who support you and who believe in what you're saying.
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Yeah, there's a lot of every single time I say something like that, the mainstream would
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dub as controversial, like men cannot be women. I hear from women in areas and I tell people,
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I'm like, listen, if you can avoid going to politics or be a talking head, like, please
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go do something else. If I were smarter, I'd be doing something else. I could go back and
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change my name and, and not drop out of college. Maybe I'd be doing something else. But I'm doing what
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I'm doing. And, but we need other people to be doing what they're doing. And I often hear from
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women in STEM and women in tech in the Bay area that work for social media companies that are
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showrunners and executive producers of mainstream content that you and I watch every single day,
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people in fashion and finance that are like, Hey, I love my job. I believe like, this is my purpose
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and my passion, but thank you for speaking out on this because it enabled me to go to HR and be
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like, Hey, why did you have this caveat about LGBTQ stuff at the bottom of the email? Or, um, Hey,
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I'm pregnant now. So could you please consider covering my maternity leave and better and alternate
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maternity care for me instead of encouraging me to go get an abortion and really giving those people
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the tools and the freedom to be like, they are not alone. And how important those aspects of society
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society and the economy are and not underestimating people. Cause I think we can all, we're all guilty
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of just getting in our own bubble, um, and being like, well, I need to be on Fox news or I need to
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run for Congress in order to make a difference. And that is not the case at all. Yeah. I think that's
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so true. So what makes you a proponent of conservative conservatism and traditional values?
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What do you think makes these things important and gives women in particular a better shot at
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happiness and fulfillment through these traditional values that we're both, I think, big proponents
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of? Yeah. I think, um, the ability to be created and treated as equals, um, is something that I believe
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personally and professionally. Um, and then the reason specifically with conservatism that comes in
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is, and I think there's a faith component to this as well is how everyone is unique. Uh, inserting the
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faith is like designed in the image of God, but even aside from faith, no two DNAs are the same,
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right? Scientifically, if you're looking at it, you and I are both female, but we are both incredibly
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different in our genetic makeup. So it's actually kind of not fair because your parents are way
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smarter than mine. So I think you got that genetically. I've talked with my mom about this
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before. Like every Shapiro is so smart. Um, so, um, but I think that from the political perspective,
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it's understanding the beauty of that individualism and that, um, independence and wanting everyone to
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have the right to make decisions for themselves and their own autonomy, and then their own core family.
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And that as a society, when men and women get married, they tend to be more economically successful.
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They tend to be happier. They tend to, um, take care of not only their selves and their families,
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but the community around them because of how it affects their family unit. And that culturally is,
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is a bonus. And it's a bigger bonus when the government gets out of the way and allows people
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to do that. Absolutely. Yes. I have nothing to add to that. I agree. So let's talk feminism for a
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second, because I feel like anybody we're in a time where it's as if feminism is supposed to be
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recognized as obvious, as obvious truth by any woman. And if you're not explicitly, I'm totally
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feminist, right? Then you must be anti-woman. So what are your thoughts on feminism? Do you think
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feminist ideology helps or hurts women? And I use the word feminism broadly here, but obviously if you
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want to like define it a little differently, because there are so many different uses of that term,
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go for it. Yeah. I think it's fascinating to me that, uh, this semester with my AF speeches,
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I've been talking about feminism the most in the past. It's been about why women need guns or
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school choice or pro-life issues, but it's, it's interesting because it's circling back around.
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And I've seen even influencers and commentators and friends on the left that have identified as very
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left-leaning feminists really taking issue with the movement as a whole. And I love to start my
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speeches when I talk about feminism with the dictionary definition, although dictionary
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definitions do change occasionally nowadays. So I've screen grabbed it and saved it just in case.
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I, if, if we are looking at the dictionary definition of feminism would talk, which talks about
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the equality of the sexes, sign me up. I'm on board. I'm 100% of feminist. The problem is
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when you have Planned Parenthood and Nancy Pelosi and the AOCs of the world and Michelle Williams and
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the Women's March, identifying what they think and mainstreaming their leftist agenda of feminism.
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Then I think that people left, right, and center view that as feminism. And then everyone tells you,
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well, unless you are this, you cannot identify as a feminist. So I know I disagree. I think with you
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and even my girlfriend, Liz Wheeler, who are like, no, we're not feminists. I actually think like,
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yeah, much like I want to take over and, and rebuild California. I think we need to take over
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and rebuild feminism because based on the definition of feminism, I would argue that I'm a feminist and
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that you are a feminist and that I'm raising feminist daughters. And I love to see people on the
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left like, Ooh, when I say that. Um, but I think that it actually sometimes, and it has more, more so
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recently opened up constructive dialogue and debate with women on the other side of the aisle, because we
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can find areas in which we agree. And then we can, um, in a friendly way, agree to disagree on other
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issues because I'm not going to budge on abortion and there may not either, but we can agree on the
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equality. We can agree on things that need to change culturally. We can agree on some things
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even that need to change politically. And so when we're just like feminism bad without defining what
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we are against, I think that that's a problem. I actually agree with you. I have been kind of,
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I've been trying to nail down how to approach this topic because I've always said, or initially I said,
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you know, feminism is something I agree with when it comes to the equality, right? We have equal rights,
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under the law, a hundred percent. We are equal people. I mean, we have the same worth, but men
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and women are different. Now, when we move into the Christina Hoff Summers definition, I mean, that
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was the book that really like clarified things for me, her book on, on feminism. Um, when she started
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talking about gender feminism and how there's a Marxist ideology underlying modern feminism, which
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says that women are always victims and men are always oppressors. Now we can't agree on that.
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I can't agree that women are better than men. I can't agree that men are going to always be
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winning. Even when we have, you know, Taylor Swift making 300 worth $320 million. I, I think that
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women should have equal rights. Right. I think Selena Gomez has as many followers on Instagram as
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Cristiano Ronaldo. Right. Or I could argue that women are better at some things like, hello, having and
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making babies. Men can never do that because they can't even handle a minor cold, but they also go
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into battle and they spend six months on an oil rig. That's not a job I want to sign up for. I don't
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think that's a job that you want to sign up for. Yes, exactly. And so I think that, and that's what I
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talk about in my feminism speech is celebrating the beauty and the differences and how, when we see each
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other as cohesive partners and teammates. Um, I mean, I feel like I'm almost talking about marriage,
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right? But it's like, if men and women in society could treat each other, like you kind of have to
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in a marriage, then professionally, it's going to be better. And professionally, we want women in the
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workplace because men stereotypically tend to not be very communicative or emotional creatures. And
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women are men and women report being happier and more successful at their jobs when they have a female
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boss. Why? Because a female boss will check in and be like, how are you doing today, John? Everything
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okay at home, not in a nosy or inappropriate way, but making sure that if he needs to get off at three
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o'clock to go to his son's basketball game, that's a possibility. A male boss ain't going to do that or
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isn't going to have the same level of caring or interest in that person like a woman is. And I think that
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that's an example of like, hey, if it's good for men and it's good for women, it's good for the economy, it's good
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for the cultural environment. Why would we separate them? And so I think left, right and center, there's
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definitely moves that can and should be made. But thank God we're in the United States because women
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here are a heck of a lot better off than in any other nation in the world. Absolutely. Yes. So
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you're a mama to three girls with another baby on the wave. I don't know that I don't know the gender
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of your baby yet, but we'll have to wait and see. I haven't announced yet. It's going to be lots of
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fun. You're constantly working in the movement, including travel for speeches around the country
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with Young America's Foundation, as we talked about. So how do you balance all of your responsibilities
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as a wife, mother, and conservative commentator? I think that's like the top question that I get from
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my subscribers when they listen to my podcast. I'm talking to all of these incredible women who are
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doing these incredible things who are also mothers. And they're kind of like, how do you do all of it?
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You don't do it all. I'm in my mostly completely renovated kitchen that's taken a year and a half
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to do. My husband helps me with the tech setup because I'm not tech savvy, but he would never
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want to be on camera. I said last week, and I'll say again this week at a YAP speech that I could not
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be on the road if it weren't from my husband being an engaged father at home, right? I have the freedom
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to do that because we're a team. He, unlike the stereotype, I'm currently barefoot pregnant in the
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kitchen. He's a much better cook than me. Like ask our girls any night of the week. They prefer daddy's food
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over mommy's food. Um, but it takes teamwork. Uh, I feel for incredible single mothers. And I think in
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that case, it really takes a village. And in, I mean, even in circumstances where I think it's
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amazing when religious organizations or churches or friend groups get together to help those single
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moms in those scenarios. So they can work and they can engage with their kids and they can pursue their
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dreams because I think it's really important for kids, boys and girls to see their mom and dad, um,
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not struggling per se, but really sacrificing for one another and sacrificing for the family
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to showing them like what it takes. And that one day they can and should do the same for their family.
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I loved what Rihanna said. Um, when people were like, Oh, are you sure you want to like do the Superbowl
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halftime show? Like right after having a baby, cause her baby wasn't even a year old. And of course she
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knew she was pregnant. Nobody else knew she was pregnant. She was like, no, that's exactly what I
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want to be doing. Cause I want my son to see that even after becoming a mother, it actually empowers me
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to do more and I'm impassioned to do more. And so I would just encourage those women. It's sometimes
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the laundry has to wait because you have to go do something. And then sometimes you need to like
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really learn to prioritize your time. And I've been married for almost 14 years and we have number
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four on the way. And I still feel like it's something I'm learning. So it's giving yourself
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some grace. My girlfriend, Mary Catherine Ham says this so well, she says, give yourself grace,
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but don't make excuses. And I think when you kind of take that through life day in and day out,
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especially as a woman, because we are different and we have like mom guilt and bog ourselves down.
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Um, there's also this element. And I used to say this on our lady brains podcast when we had it of
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like, when you're at home, sometimes like struggling to feel like you should be working.
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And then when you're in work mode, struggling and feeling like, should I be at home?
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And I think that feeling, I don't know if it ever goes away, but I've learned how to process it
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and kind of self-diagnose it and be confident and like letting my yes, be yes. And my no, be no,
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and not wasting the time that I have in both of those spaces.
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Yeah. I think that that's been something I'm learning with only one, one little baby that
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it's just all about prioritizing time management and trying to be, uh, find those people that you're
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like, you know what, if my baby can't be with me today, at least he's with his grandma or he's with
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his dad. And that's for me, I'm like, you know what? It's actually a good thing though. Not that
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I'm, you know, I generally am home, but for me, like right now, my mom put down my son for his nap.
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And for me, it's like, you know what, that's not a bad thing. It's good for him to create a
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relationship with people outside of his mom. And even though he knows that he has a secure
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attachment with me, because I'll always be there at the same time, it's not just me. And that's
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a really beautiful thing for him is that he has a whole group of people who love him and care about
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him and want to take care of him. Well, and my kids are kind of social like me, go figure,
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but each of them is different in how they interact with people or how they get to know people and how
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they engage. And I think that as a parent too, it is incredible to see from the moment that they're
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born, the differences of those personalities, um, where my oldest, I could hand her to a stranger on
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the corner and she'd be like, Hey, what's up? And smiling at six weeks old. But my middle like hated
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strangers for the first year of her life. And if you were a man without a beard, because my husband
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has a beard, it's like, do not even look at her or she'd scream in your face. Um, um, she did that
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to Michael Knowles once I felt kind of bad. Uh, but it, and so, but, but now she like runs her little
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class and, and the teacher's like, Oh, she is such a leader. And like, everybody loves her. Um,
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and that the, so the scenario that you're saying with your mom is like, when kids have a healthy
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home life and they can see the confidence and comfort that their parents are displaying, um,
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around other people, whether that's an auntie or a neighbor or a Sunday school teacher or
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grandparent, then it creates a safe environment for them to understand, okay, here's my mom and dad,
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this is the hierarchy, but these other people are trustworthy as well. And my husband and I talk
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about this all the time, especially as our kids are getting older, cause we have an almost 10 year
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old now. And I'm like, before we know it, she's going to be like a preteen and then she's going
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to be a teenager. And we need to have people in our lives that we trust that she can trust because
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even the good kids like reach a point where they don't want to talk to their parents about everything.
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Right. And so you need to have those people in your community and in your life that you can lean
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on as a parent, but that your kids can eventually lean on as well. Yeah. I think that's definitely
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true. So I wanted to talk about homeschooling a little bit with you because I am, as my son is
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growing up and getting older, I'm getting more interested in the possibility of homeschooling
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as an option. And I know you grew up in Oklahoma, you were homeschooled. So what was your experience
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with it? Did you like it? Did you not? And what do you think are the benefits or maybe not the
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benefits? Do you have any tips or anything like that? Any thoughts you could share?
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Yeah, I am. And the older I get and the more children I have, the more I think that there is
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no one size fits all for a family when it comes to education. Our two oldest are currently in the
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same school. And I'm like, this is amazing. It's easy. They seem to be doing well, but I've
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kind of seriously joked that this is a test year because I homeschooled our oldest and our niece
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for two years during COVID. And so it was a, my oldest, like I said, she's, she's such a people
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person. She's missed congeniality. She could run for president one day. She has the ability to
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remember names and details. Like everybody says Bill Clinton did. Like she's incredible at that.
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And she gets good grades. So she's my kid that I've been able to see now through third grade
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of being like, Oh, maybe she's kind of the child that was made for the classroom.
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We did fine homeschooling, but I don't know how much longer based upon her learning ability and
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my teaching ability that I could have taught her maybe past like fifth or sixth grade. Cause I just
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taught my niece up to that level. And after that, I'm like, this gets a little more difficult and I'm
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not great at the math. Um, my middle, our youngest will have to wait and see. Um, they're all summer
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babies too. So I've held them back, but my personal experience with homeschooling, I absolutely loved
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it. Uh, of the three girls, I'm the only one that my mom homeschooled all 12 years. It worked for us
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because we were in a rural area with really crappy schools at the time. My dad was a commercial airline
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pilot. So he had really weird hours where we'd take family vacation in November and he'd be home
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Sunday through Wednesday and then gone the rest of the week because of his, you know, travel and flight
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schedule. And so it really enabled me to have the freedom at 14 to get a job. And I always loved
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working and making my own money and, um, taught me a lot of like time management skills, but I think
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then helped me when I went to college and entered a professional career because it kind of forced me
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to self-start and it forced me to time manage and instead of just being like told what to do. Uh,
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and so I think that those are huge benefits that it had. And because it gave me the freedom of time
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to travel with my parents, to be on the campaign trail with my mom, to not be stuck in a school
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room, to excel in English and history and literature and be held back a little bit. Cause I wasn't great
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at algebra, right. Um, that you don't typically get in a school environment. And so I think I just tell
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any parent good for you start with preschool, like you can get a little curriculum for when he turns
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three, three and a half, four, understand that he's a boy. So he's going to be different than if you had
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a little girl who will sit there and like color and trace and be all excited. Like my three and a half
00:23:32.420
year old does. Right. Um, and kind of just see how it goes. See if you are both thriving, um, because
00:23:39.620
you want and need to be thriving and know that when you homeschool, there's going to be really awesome
00:23:44.360
days where you're like, yeah, we did it. We checked all the boxes. We did all the subjects
00:23:48.600
and we did the extra science project. Um, and then there will be other days that you're like,
00:23:53.240
you know, this site word, why are you not saying it? When I hold up the card, um,
00:23:57.720
because they are human too. And just like you and I have good days and bad days or good night's sleep
00:24:05.160
and bad night's sleep. So will they, and that affects their performance and their demeanor and how
00:24:10.580
they learn. Um, but I think, yeah, and I think that it's so important based off what you're saying.
00:24:15.760
I really like the idea just, and it's true of parenting generally of just going off of your
00:24:20.740
child, understanding your child's personality, what they need. Some kids, like you said, thrive
00:24:26.020
in a school environment and other kids really don't. And don't, I know a few people who, whose parents
00:24:33.060
took them out of school to homeschool them because they found that they had lost a love of learning.
00:24:37.660
And so I think it really just depends on the kid and that's important to keep in mind. Not
00:24:43.260
everything is just going to be, okay, here's your path because this is the path everybody says,
00:24:47.580
and we're done. Like, no, you reevaluate and you go off the kid's personality.
00:24:53.020
Yeah. And I think this is why I'm such an advocate for school choice, because I don't think even in
00:24:57.840
one family, if you have three kids, every kid is going to need the same level of education or
00:25:03.700
retention or environment to learn. Um, and I think that for some kids, it's a competitive nature,
00:25:10.200
right? For some kids like my oldest, it's a congenial nature. Uh, it could be for some kids,
00:25:15.700
they just like learn very well between these specific times and checking the box of their
00:25:20.640
projects where other kids might need more ebb and flow and need to go into the woods to do science
00:25:25.240
versus just reading about it in a textbook. Um, I often think, and, and I don't know,
00:25:30.640
cause we don't have boys, but I look at boy moms that I know. And I'm like, somebody needs to start
00:25:34.800
like a wilderness school for little boys, because I don't think that a kid under the age of like
00:25:40.100
seven or eight years old, like a boy, like you have belong in a classroom because it just is not a
00:25:46.740
very conducive environment to just their personalities at that. And they're the way that
00:25:52.240
they like need to touch and feel and play and wrestle and learn. Um, I totally agree with you.
00:25:58.900
And I think it's really sad that in American society, we strictly determine, uh, a child's
00:26:05.740
educational future, which will then turn into and positively or negatively affect their future
00:26:12.420
financial success based on where their parents can afford to live. And I don't see that as a
00:26:19.300
partisan issue. I think that that's an issue that every mother in the country should be able to agree
00:26:24.280
on. And I've often said if the California GOP wanted to start winning, this is an issue that
00:26:28.620
they would run on because, uh, data shows that over 70% of even liberal minority mothers in the
00:26:35.160
state of California are pro school choice. I believe it. I totally believe it. And it's like,
00:26:40.780
for me, I just think to myself, and again, I don't know the stats on this, but just the number of
00:26:46.300
boys who are told they have ADD, ADHD, it may be accurate, but it seems high based off of kids just
00:26:53.780
not being able to sit in a classroom because they're boys and they want to move. Like I just,
00:26:59.800
I don't want to ever put, you know, that, that situation that worries me for my son is that he
00:27:05.880
would be in a situation where people are thinking, Oh, he has some sort of attention deficit disorder
00:27:10.660
when it's really just, he's a boy and he's a kid and he wants to move.
00:27:13.560
And then the bigger problem of that is, is then they want to drug him or they want to punish him
00:27:19.320
or they want to delay him or put him in a special needs class because maybe they're getting an
00:27:24.540
additional government grant for every seat and that special needs class that's filled.
00:27:28.640
My mom is ADD. My older sister has ADD. Um, they've coped with it and lived with it for a very
00:27:34.860
long time. And I mean, it gets on my nerves cause she like sits there and like taps her fingers
00:27:38.900
while you're talking and she's, but she can be extremely focused and extremely successful as
00:27:45.700
a politician and small business owner. Uh, when she's like geared toward doing something that
00:27:50.760
she is interested in, she's incredible and can do numbers in her head that I cannot do.
00:27:55.780
And remember stats that I cannot remember. Uh, and it's really honing that. And she always tells
00:28:00.700
young moms that come to her, whether their kids are homeschooled or in public school.
00:28:04.480
And they're like, what should I do? My seven-year-old, the teacher says he's a problem child
00:28:08.760
and he won't ever want to do his homework. And she's like, cut out the sugar, make sure they're
00:28:13.900
getting enough sleep at night and make them run around the yard for like 30 minutes before you
00:28:19.000
sit them down to do like school that they have to be physically kind of like get through that energy
00:28:23.900
before they can tune into that like mental part of their brain because the physical at that age is
00:28:30.180
just so it's normal. And it's really sad that our education system in this country is so
00:28:34.460
geared towards that perfect little five-year-old girl that's going to sit there in her uniform and
00:28:38.380
you know, do her, her ABCs, like trace them just fine. Not every kid is like that, but we especially
00:28:45.080
see a difference there between boys and girls. Absolutely. So I am so glad we got to do this
00:28:51.220
interview. So now let's move into our faith talk. This week's Torah portion is Titzaveh, which means
00:28:58.280
command. The Torah portion also is the Parsha in Hebrew. So in this week's Parsha, Chabad.org says,
00:29:06.100
God tells Moses to receive from the children of Israel pure olive oil to feed the everlasting flame
00:29:11.460
of the menorah, which Aaron is to kindle each day from evening till morning. Now here's where we get
00:29:17.060
into the meat of the Torah portion. We're talking about the priestly garments and everything that the
00:29:23.480
priests wear in the tabernacle. So the priestly garments to be worn by the Kohanim, that's the
00:29:29.620
priests, while serving in the sanctuary are described. Al Kohanim wore the katonet, which is a
00:29:36.900
full-length linen tunic, linen breeches, a linen turban, a long sash wound above the waist. In addition,
00:29:44.220
he also wore an apron-like garment made of blue, purple, and red-dyed wool, linen, and gold thread,
00:29:49.260
a breastplate containing 12 precious stones inscribed with the names of the 12 tribes of
00:29:54.100
Israel, a cloak of blue wool with gold bells and decorative pomegranates on its hem, and a golden
00:29:59.440
plate worn on the forehead, bearing the inscription, Holy to God. There's also a section including
00:30:06.180
the detailed instructions for the seven-day initiation of Aaron and his four sons into the
00:30:11.200
priesthood, and for the making of the golden altar on which the incense was burned. So this is the
00:30:18.160
portion of the Torah. We're kind of going through a couple sections in Exodus that are much more
00:30:23.000
law-focused and a little bit less story-focused. So my question is, why is there an entire Torah
00:30:30.200
portion dedicated to what the high priest wears? Why are his clothes important? Who cares?
00:30:36.880
Why did it even matter? Because it did matter. If he didn't wear the right clothing in the Holy Temple,
00:30:43.160
he could be killed when he entered the Holy of Holies. Like, it was possible that God would be like,
00:30:47.580
okay, you're done. So why is that? So this to me relates a lot to what I talk about on my channel
00:30:54.720
regarding modesty. Our bodies are not entirely separate from our souls. Sometimes people think
00:31:01.180
that our bodies hold us back or that the physical world inhibits our holy ascendance and closeness to
00:31:07.460
God. But the truth is, is that our bodies are the gateway to being able to experience God's presence.
00:31:13.520
By dressing in the holiest of garments when working in the tabernacle, as close to God as any person
00:31:20.040
could be, the high priest is elevating his soul through what he wears. So what can we learn from
00:31:27.060
this? What we wear matters. Wearing clothing that glorifies the body as separate from our souls or
00:31:33.380
focuses on the sexuality of our body rather than its beauty as gifted by God takes us further from
00:31:39.960
God's presence. When we dress modestly and beautifully, we are glorifying God's name.
00:31:46.000
We are using our physical presence on earth to bring us closer to God. And that's a huge blessing.
00:31:50.680
But I'm interested to hear your thoughts because modesty is a little bit of a touchy subject nowadays.
00:31:56.480
And I also am very clear on my, on my, you know, channel, on my podcast, that modesty for me,
00:32:03.600
what it looks like for me as an Orthodox Jew is very different than what I expect from like the
00:32:08.900
average person. I'm just like, if you can cover your cleavage, covered the bottom of your butt cheeks
00:32:13.800
and cover your midriff, we're good. Like you're doing good. But I'd love to hear your thoughts on
00:32:19.300
modesty. And I mean, if it relates to faith for you.
00:32:23.640
Yeah. I think there's a, much like my political views, there could be the religious perspective
00:32:29.780
and then like the scientific, like cultural perspective. And I think culturally for young
00:32:35.220
women specifically, and there's this mom that I follow on Instagram. She had this whole thing
00:32:41.020
about, cause her son like went to an eighth grade, like homecoming dance. And she's like the way that
00:32:45.160
some of these girls were dressed and then how the mothers are like, oh, you know, well, everybody's
00:32:49.520
doing it. So how do I tell her no? And she, so then she started posting like all these pictures
00:32:54.660
of like Chippendales type people. And she's like, is this who you want to roll up and be like, well,
00:32:59.360
you know, my son's in a thong because everybody's doing it. And like, if boys were doing the same
00:33:03.960
thing, how would people react? Right. They'd be like, oh, they're so creepy. They're so predatory.
00:33:09.440
But like when young women do it, it's like supposedly no big deal when we over-sexualize them.
00:33:14.740
Um, so I think that secularly and culturally, we have studies that show that women who are
00:33:22.560
promiscuous, that women that dress a certain way, um, net have negative experiences with their own
00:33:28.520
self-esteem, their own self-worth, their self-consciousness, like so many things, depression,
00:33:34.320
anxiety, they tend to be more promiscuous. They tend to have then more physical and emotional
00:33:39.720
ailments from, from that like activity and secular studies showing like that is not good for women.
00:33:47.640
Um, and I love that, even though I would take it from the Christian perspective of, um, being complete
00:33:53.920
in Jesus and our body being a temple and my mother, like kind of hounding that into me as a kid of like,
00:34:00.840
it's not just your outward appearance that, that you're exuding and representing, you know,
00:34:05.600
your faith and your family, but it's like what you choose to put in and do with your body as well.
00:34:11.200
Like, um, whether that be destroying your lungs through smoking or using recreational drugs or
00:34:17.400
overusing alcohol or choosing to be morbidly obese, one of the seven deadly sins, right.
00:34:23.260
Um, of how we are supposed to take care of our temple. And that includes like what we're putting
00:34:29.440
out in the world. And I think that I like to look nice. I want to look like sexy for my husband and
00:34:36.300
pretty on camera, but there's like a lot in between in there that it's possible to be feminine and
00:34:43.980
attractive and classy and not dress like, you know, people that you see on only fans.
00:34:53.320
Right, exactly. And it's so sad because it's like Instagram and only fans in many ways are
00:34:57.980
indistinguishable except one is free and one is not. Yeah. I mean, if, if you look at like when
00:35:04.200
I remember like reading about the description of only fans and what people wouldn't, would not be
00:35:08.160
doing over there and like Bella Thorne and some other people were like, well, I'm going to go over
00:35:11.740
there. Cause at least I can make money. And I'm like, how is that any different than like what their
00:35:15.560
car car Jenners do? I mean, how is it any different than, you know, what a lot of celebrities are
00:35:20.960
posting on their Instagram. And by the way, they're still making money for it because
00:35:24.960
I, as Chris Rock said in his latest special, that's the number one way to make money is show
00:35:29.940
your. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, it's funny. I have a friend on Instagram who has talked to me.
00:35:38.020
We've talked to each other about this because we're both more like traditional. We both are modest on
00:35:42.820
our Instagram posts. And we've said, you know, if we just did this, if we just exposed one area of
00:35:49.840
our bodies, we would go up 200,000 followers the next day, like, but we would never do it because
00:35:56.220
to us, it's not, it's a hundred percent not worth it, obviously. But even more than that, it's just
00:36:00.960
not, it's not good for you as a person and people who, you know, look, I am very used to being
00:36:08.840
sexualized on the internet at this point. It really doesn't matter what I post, but at the end of the
00:36:12.780
day, yeah, it doesn't matter what I post. It doesn't matter how covered I am. It doesn't matter.
00:36:17.720
But at the end of the day, the people who are going to sexualize me, who are choosing to
00:36:22.560
sexualize me, the trolls would sexualize me no matter what. But that doesn't mean that I have
00:36:27.740
to then lean into it and give them an opportunity to see things that are to me, precious and to my
00:36:34.020
husband, precious and private. And it means that that's what I don't get about the Emily Ratajowskis
00:36:41.100
or, you know, even like the Lena Dunham's of the world. They're like, well, it's my body. And I,
00:36:46.880
if I control what's out there, then I have control. And, and it's like, but then why are
00:36:53.280
you revealing that intimate part of yourself? Like why it's just like revealing intimate
00:36:57.540
information. Right. And another thing that, you know, Chris Rock said in his special, it's
00:37:02.600
like, well, I can do this in like this, a sex act on somebody and not have not never call
00:37:08.160
her back. I mean, it's crap, but it's funny because it's true. But he's like, I remember
00:37:12.700
how many women whose hands I've held. Right. And it's almost like if I were a public school
00:37:18.680
teacher teaching sex ed, I would just like clip that and be like, so yeah, maybe you should
00:37:23.620
be careful of who you're engaging with and who you're showing your body to and who you're
00:37:27.940
giving yourself to, because no offense to men, they really don't care and have one track
00:37:33.460
minds. And they will remember whose hand they held or who they told they loved for the first
00:37:38.200
time. But they're not going to remember you for the hot bikini shot, other than it being
00:37:44.280
a brief moment of like sexual pleasure for them. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that right there
00:37:49.220
is exactly it. And the thing that we should all keep in mind moving forward. So now let's
00:37:56.920
move into my premium subscriber questions. If you are interested in becoming a premium subscriber
00:38:02.220
to my sub stack, make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com where you'll get
00:38:07.160
access to a ton of exclusive content, including my book club, as well as weekly exclusive articles
00:38:12.320
and being able to submit questions for podcasts just like this. So let's head into question
00:38:18.520
number one, which is, it seems like women are being erased. What are the best ways to fight
00:38:24.080
back? I would say my daily motto of what we tell our girls to be is strong, sweet and smart.
00:38:32.780
And when you are a strong, sweet and smart woman, you cannot be erased, even as much as society tries
00:38:38.420
to tell us that men transitioning to women are better at being women than we are, which I find
00:38:43.220
really personally insulting for women everywhere. And I think really just being confident, a part of
00:38:50.720
that inner strength is being confident in like your purpose and your calling. And like that helps you
00:38:56.340
move through every single day. It helps you move through every moment, whether it's good, bad, or ugly,
00:39:02.140
it helps you move through a week, it helps you move through a month and like plan for the future. And when
00:39:07.220
you have a trajectory that you are confident in pursuing and know that you're on the right path, people can
00:39:14.020
try to tamp you down and can try to erase you and try to highlight masculinity over femininity, or men trying
00:39:22.760
to be feminine, and culture currently lauding that. But I don't know, I think that it that's going to
00:39:28.940
crumble, and it already is crumbling. And this too shall pass when it comes because when even feminists
00:39:34.540
on the left are like, hey, this isn't what I signed up for, you know, the left has a problem in this
00:39:42.720
Yeah, I think that really, it starts with being brave enough, which is a ridiculous thing to say,
00:39:48.860
but it's being brave enough to say, yes, men and women are different, men cannot become women.
00:39:54.620
That's it. Let's start there. And if we can just say men are not women, they are not the same,
00:40:01.240
then you can be confident in you as a woman, and what being a woman means, because it means so much.
00:40:08.540
Yeah. And I think that it's important. I sometimes women on the left criticize me of like,
00:40:13.400
oh, well, you only value womanhood if it means making babies. And I'm like,
00:40:16.760
no, it doesn't. Because I have many friends who literally cannot bear their own children. I have
00:40:22.340
many friends who are single by choice or childless by choice. And the individual freedom part of me
00:40:28.660
is like, hey, being a mother was like the greatest blessing that I've happened upon. And I would and I
00:40:34.580
hope that others want to pursue that as well. I think it's good for them individually and as society,
00:40:38.700
but I don't have a problem with women who choose not to or cannot to follow that same like
00:40:45.000
path for a family and what a family may or may not look like to them. There are so many other
00:40:50.660
intricacies of who women are, other than just being these childbearing things. And it's so funny that
00:41:00.080
Sorry, we have a crying baby. Quick interruption for my baby who just woke up from his nap,
00:41:07.680
very angry that I wasn't the one to pick him up, but his grandma picked him up. So he's okay.
00:41:12.820
So go ahead and continue from where we left off.
00:41:15.920
My three year old is probably currently getting hangry while she hangs out with her Mimi.
00:41:21.060
I think it's fascinating, though, that that argument tends, even though the left likes to label
00:41:25.520
like rich white Republican men as the ones that want us to be the baby bearers that, you know,
00:41:30.980
live in this society like Handmaid's Tale. It tends to be the people on the left that are arguing with
00:41:39.220
me as a working wife and mom and kind of doing it all right. And I say doing it all in quotations
00:41:44.860
because can't ever do it all or have it all that they're attacking me for my life choices,
00:41:51.300
doing what I want with my body, using an argument that they say the other the bad guys use.
00:41:56.820
So I just always find that laughable. Yeah. And I think fair enough. I mean,
00:42:02.580
my take on on womanhood is that womanhood is more is in our nature. And then whether or not we can
00:42:12.640
have children, you know, that is still going to be expressed in ways that we don't necessarily
00:42:18.100
expect. Right. So being nurturing is so inherent to womanhood that even if you don't have children,
00:42:25.260
you're going to end up being nurturing in other ways that are really important.
00:42:28.760
Feminine strength is so beautiful. And it's not only shown through motherhood, it's just
00:42:33.320
exemplified in motherhood. Yeah, I would agree. And there's areas in which like if you even look
00:42:39.540
statistically at the types of jobs that women tend to go into and excel at compared to the types of jobs
00:42:46.560
that men go into and excel at, that is a perfect example of how it speaks to our nature and our
00:42:55.080
innate abilities and skills and differences that I think are a beautiful thing.
00:42:59.780
Yeah. Yeah. So question number two is I've seen on your Instagram, you talk about being a doula
00:43:06.580
and a big proponent of home births. Can you talk more about that?
00:43:10.220
Yeah, this will be my fourth home birth with my midwife, who's amazing. And if you're in LA,
00:43:17.440
DM me and I'll send you her info. And I just have like doula for a handful of friends and taken an
00:43:25.720
online course and really just kind of happened where friends were like, can you be there to support me?
00:43:31.160
Most special is probably being there for my little sister for the birth of my first nephew. She just
00:43:35.140
had her second nephew and they're just so cute. And I think that it is such a beautiful thing because
00:43:41.720
it really, I always joke, like I am not a sports person. When everybody compared labor and delivery
00:43:48.160
to running a marathon, I was like, but I hate running. And I always tell people, I'm like,
00:43:54.440
I'm the biggest wimp on the face of the planet. And if I can do it, anyone can do it. But this has
00:43:59.680
really, I think this experience and then other health experiences that I've had in the last year or two
00:44:04.000
have really opened my eyes to the lack of informed consent when it comes to women's health in the
00:44:09.860
country, whether it's birth control or the COVID vaccine or abortion or a whole bunch of other
00:44:16.120
issues. I really just want women to be completely informed and to be their own advocates. And we have
00:44:23.340
to be our own advocates when it comes to our full mental, physical, emotional health, because the
00:44:29.240
medical community as a whole in the United States ain't good at representing our best interests. I
00:44:34.480
mean, even up until what, like 70 years ago, they were just doing studies on men and thought like the
00:44:40.660
male liver and the women's liver, like we're totally the same or the brain, our brains were totally the
00:44:45.820
same. Like it turns out they're not and our hormones are not. And we got other parts that they
00:44:50.200
don't, hence why they can't become us. And so I also give this example and had some leftists in a
00:44:56.840
recent speech actually be like, oh, we agree with you on that point. Because I was like, if the left
00:45:01.740
truly cared about women, then they would be advocating for as many studies to be done about
00:45:07.680
pregnancy challenges, specifically when it comes to minority groups in the country that are really
00:45:12.960
mistreated by the medical community and not listened to and not advocated for. And they would be
00:45:18.620
spending, I don't know, maybe more than $10 million a year looking at pre-menopausal menopausal
00:45:24.680
issues that affect every single woman in the world compared to the $90 billion that they choose
00:45:29.800
to spend on erectile dysfunction medication and studies. So it's where my, I kind of become like
00:45:37.000
a hippie and anti, I'm not anti doctors. I'm not anti like science. God bless them. It's needed.
00:45:44.780
It's necessary. I'm just pro women being their own advocate and becoming informed and choosing a
00:45:51.080
practitioner, whether that's birth center, hospital or home that is going to serve them and their
00:45:58.500
medical needs. And while they enter into like one of the most challenging and beautiful days of their
00:46:03.700
lives. I love that because I feel like it is, I feel like I'm not always one of many when I'm like
00:46:14.800
taking a huge interest in the process of birth, pregnancy, labor, all of that, because I think it
00:46:21.960
is fascinating. And so I think it's really important for women, as you say, no one is going to be a
00:46:27.460
better advocate for you than you. Your doctor is not always going to be the best at making a tailor
00:46:33.020
made plan for you, as opposed to just the patients he sees. And that doesn't mean he's a bad doctor.
00:46:38.800
It just means that if you don't know enough to ask the right questions, you may not get the care you
00:46:45.400
wanted. And if you want to have a great birth experience, then being more informed can only help. It
00:46:53.080
can't hurt. Yeah. And any doctor or midwife or nurse, midwife or nurse or anybody who questions you,
00:47:01.280
that's your sign to get out the door. I think that's a good piece of advice.
00:47:06.740
So as a mom of three daughters, what are some lessons you want to teach them about navigating
00:47:14.200
the modern world? Try to keep them off a cell phone as long as possible.
00:47:20.980
Oh my gosh. Yes. That's like something I'm going to teach them about the modern world.
00:47:25.380
I think it's so interesting. Like every age has its different questions and challenges. And even from
00:47:31.940
the time that they were like one asking why, you know, your son's going to start that soon. It's
00:47:36.660
like mama, dada, and why are like the L and no words that they tend to like spew first. I would be
00:47:44.020
like, no, ask a complete question or ask a complete sentence. And it's amazing and fun to see the things
00:47:49.700
that they observe in the world. And then the questions that they come up with. So I feel
00:47:55.160
inadequate 90% of the time to answer those questions, but really thinking about how I answer them and
00:48:02.780
answering them in an age appropriate, but detailed way. So they're never doubtful of me or their dad
00:48:09.140
having the answers to like, what's happening in the world and life's problems. And, you know,
00:48:13.740
living in Los Angeles, you see homeless people on the street. Well, why is that person, you know,
00:48:19.260
asking for money? Why, why did we give that person fruit? Like, why does he, his sign say he's hungry?
00:48:24.400
Um, why do so-and-so and such-and-such have a baby and they're not married? That's just, those questions
00:48:30.700
are just going to naturally come up when you're a parent. And sometimes you like can mentally prepare
00:48:35.900
for them and sometimes you can't. And, and so I think that my biggest thing though, is obviously
00:48:42.480
we're instilling in them Judeo-Christian values, but I don't talk to them about politics. I don't,
00:48:48.860
um, really they know that mommy's on TV sometimes and travels for speeches, but I don't even know
00:48:54.340
if they know what they're about. And I would love it if I could keep it that way for as long as
00:48:59.960
possible. And for them to come to their own independent conclusions on like what their core
00:49:05.540
beliefs are just based on how they see their father and I operate in our everyday lives.
00:49:11.640
That's beautiful. I don't know if that really answers the question.
00:49:13.920
You know what? I like it. And then to me that that's exactly what it should be is,
00:49:20.100
you know, I think often we see people kind of inculcating values in their children without
00:49:25.600
giving them necessarily the basis or understanding for why they have those values. They're just like,
00:49:31.860
this is what it is. And this is what's right. And it's, it's a dangerous game to play when they
00:49:38.140
get to college and all of a sudden they're being faced with something that's entirely different than
00:49:42.140
what they grew up with. And they don't know necessarily why they're believing what they
00:49:45.780
believe as opposed to, Oh, I saw everything around me. I asked questions. I learned about
00:49:51.920
where I stand. And that is why I believe what I believe. Yeah. And I think that there are things
00:50:00.080
that, and my parents did a really good job of that. And even though I was in this like Bible
00:50:04.460
belt bubble, we still traveled. We still knew people that thought and lived their lives
00:50:10.460
differently than us. And my parents did engage me and it wasn't often that they were like,
00:50:15.180
because I said, so sometimes as a parent, you do have to say that. But why don't we jump on the
00:50:20.480
couch? Because I said so, but, but I think it is so important. And even at 18, I joke that I've spent
00:50:28.520
all of my adult life in liberal Meccas, but I think that it's like much like conservative students on
00:50:33.100
college campuses today. It really homes you and challenges you in those personal beliefs and can build on what
00:50:40.020
your parents taught you or, or an example of to you. And it doesn't mean that it'll be easier to come
00:50:46.880
to those conclusions. It doesn't mean that it'll be easier to live your life in that way with those
00:50:51.900
core principles and morals. But I think it helps you have a better foundation for that future and for
00:50:58.640
those struggles and those questions that you'll be asked, not just asking yourself, but complete
00:51:03.400
strangers asking you as well. Yeah, I think that's, that's definitely true and accurate. So the last
00:51:11.480
question that we've got here is, uh, we kind of touched on it at the very beginning. So now we're
00:51:17.300
round, we're coming all the way back, which is you've been vocal about staying in Los Angeles and
00:51:22.960
fighting the good fight. What makes you think you should stay as the state is, it feels like is
00:51:28.180
turning bluer and bluer. Yeah. And my husband and I have been here for 10 years now, which is crazy
00:51:33.900
to think about. Um, we, uh, have like a small community of people. There's all, once again,
00:51:41.320
like most of my answers, there's like the mainstream kind of like secular scientific answer and then
00:51:46.300
political answer. And then there's like the faith answer. So my first answer would be the more political
00:51:50.680
one, which is, as our, uh, four time infamous former governor, Jerry Brown often said, as goes
00:51:57.660
California, so goes the nation. Um, whether there's a Republican in the white house and holding the
00:52:02.760
house in the Senate, or whether that's, uh, held by Democrats, you see the leaders of California become
00:52:09.100
the leaders of the left and the leaders of think tanks and the leaders of, uh, PACs and democratic
00:52:14.660
party at all different levels of bureaucracy and government on the federal level. And you see the bad
00:52:20.500
ideas that were implemented here trickling down to even the reddest of states like Texas, Tennessee,
00:52:26.180
and Florida. Um, and some of those states, you guys have better ability to fight it, but it's still
00:52:32.300
happening. Um, additionally, I think the culture war from a political perspective is important and
00:52:38.900
it's really been interesting since COVID and since, uh, friends like I teased Dave and Dave Rubin for
00:52:46.060
abandoning us and, you know, doing the New York Jewish thing and like relocating to South Florida,
00:52:50.440
like what New York, who doesn't do that. Right. Um, but, and your brother and others, but, um, I,
00:52:57.580
I, on a serious note, it's been really interesting to see libertarian, independent thinking, even like
00:53:04.380
classical liberal minded people come out of the woodwork and I meet them at events or functions
00:53:09.140
that are not like FOA conservative type gatherings, right? They're not like flag waving anti-vax,
00:53:15.160
um, rallies, uh, cocktail parties and screenings and, uh, you know, lunches out, uh, in Beverly
00:53:23.140
Hills where people were like, thank you for not leaving. Thank you for fighting. Cause I felt so
00:53:27.380
abandoned and I'm finding more people like me in the industry that work for Apple TV, that work at
00:53:33.900
Netflix, that work at Google that are kind of like open to having a discussion and we're not okay with
00:53:40.860
the wokeism that's happening. And we know that if it happens at these corporations here, and if we
00:53:45.000
don't put a stop to it here, it's going to be affecting like the small businesses and other
00:53:49.760
corporations all over the country. So that's like my political answer to that. My religious answer
00:53:55.300
is, um, you know, when in the old Testament, God is talking about, uh, like when he's dialoguing and I
00:54:02.900
just went blank, it's not Joshua, but, um, you know, Sodom and Gomorrah, like God, how many people
00:54:08.020
will it take and, and how many people will it take to save a city? And I am a, not perfect.
00:54:18.420
Yeah, I was at the 10. And I wouldn't even say, I would not be vain enough or self-righteous enough
00:54:23.220
to say that I'm one of the 10. But I guess my question from a religious perspective is like,
00:54:27.080
who are we to say there's no one left here to save? Um, and that's not my position to say that.
00:54:33.580
And it's not my position. I don't think to abandon the people that are here that need to be saved.
00:54:39.640
And, uh, we have friends on the mission field in other countries, and we have friends that are on
00:54:44.700
the mission field here and we cannot forget the mission field here. And my husband and I, for
00:54:50.220
the 10 years that we've lived here every year, every few months are like, we good, we going to
00:54:55.140
stay, how we doing, what are we supposed to do? And during COVID, when everyone was leaving and
00:55:00.640
there are post-apocalyptic skies because of fires and helicopters because of the riots,
00:55:05.480
I remember having a kind of like internal freak out moment of like, is this like, should we like
00:55:10.340
pack up and go to a cabin in the woods? Like what the heck? And he was like, we're not going to flee
00:55:14.320
in fear, but we're not going to stay because of pride. And so for us, I think that's where we try to
00:55:20.460
step in day in and day out of like, we're not going to stay because of pride, but we're not going to
00:55:25.460
flee in fear. And like, what's our individual purpose? And then what's our family purpose? And until we have
00:55:30.060
a different answer from God of what that is, we're staying.
00:55:36.080
Well, I'm glad that you are. I'm glad that we've got somebody back there
00:55:39.540
fighting the good fight. It's important. Well, thank you so much for coming on my podcast.
00:55:46.000
Thank you for having me. It's been a lot of fun.
00:55:48.380
Tell us where we can find you, where we can follow you, all the places.
00:55:52.680
Well, just on social media, your brother once told me I have a Jewish dude's name. So it's
00:55:56.900
T-L-I-S-H-A-K-R-A-U-S-S. And that's where I am on Instagram, Twitter, my website. Yeah. So
00:56:05.000
if my Instagram stories are like my brain, I actually find that Instagram is my favorite
00:56:09.640
platform. I'm like, nah, on Twitter, even before Elon bought it. So, but you can find all my thoughts
00:56:16.440
there. And I usually post all my interviews like this there as well.
00:56:20.080
Perfect. So everyone give Alicia a follow and we will, I will see you in the next episode. Bye.