Classically Abby - How To Attract The Best Man For YOU! ｜｜ Are you giving off all the right signals？？

00:00:00.060 Hello beautiful ladies and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about 1.00

00:00:04.380 how to attract the best man for you.

00:00:09.580 Have you ever been on a date where you got home afterward and you were just exhausted

00:00:14.000 because you felt like you had been wearing a mask the entire time?

00:00:17.240 That has happened to me plenty of times where I just felt like I wasn't really being myself

00:00:21.760 and that can happen when you're with someone who you could even have a good time with but

00:00:25.960 they're just not right for you.

00:00:27.620 They don't make it easy. It's not like you can really truly be yourself.

00:00:31.860 When you're dating you have to keep so many things in mind but I thought we would talk a little bit today

00:00:37.520 about how to attract that perfect guy for you.

00:00:40.660 The kind of guy that you want.

00:00:42.480 How to get the kind of guys that you're interested in interested in you.

00:00:46.000 And it is difficult. Of course there is a lot of stuff when you're dating that is just out of your control

00:00:51.420 and I don't think dating is by any means easy.

00:00:54.400 But I do think that there are certain things that we as women can do

00:00:58.700 to attract the kind of men that we are interested in.

00:01:02.040 And so I thought I would share with you guys five different things that I think you can do

00:01:06.360 to help you attract that certain guy.

00:01:09.380 And so hopefully all the things that I'm talking about today are the things that are going to attract

00:01:13.200 that guy who really does make you feel like you can be yourself.

00:01:16.340 So let's get into it.

00:01:17.520 The first thing I want to talk about is leaning into your traits, aka being extroverted or introverted.

00:01:23.380 So I'm sure you've read about these different traits being extroverted and being introverted

00:01:27.720 all over the internet.

00:01:29.000 It's kind of something popular that people like to talk about.

00:01:31.440 And I never really put much stock into it until I really wanted to invest time and energy into my dating life.

00:01:38.620 So I personally am an extroverted introvert.

00:01:42.060 Now all of this sounds silly and jargon-ish, but the fact of the matter is that I'm very comfortable

00:01:48.640 being outgoing, hanging around people, spending time socializing.

00:01:52.400 I really love all of that stuff.

00:01:54.420 But at the end of the night, I do need time by myself to refresh, to recover, and just really enjoy my alone time.

00:02:00.980 My alone time is very important to me.

00:02:02.920 But here's the thing about being an extroverted introvert.

00:02:07.300 If you're an extroverted introvert, it means that the people who meet you are going to think you're extroverted

00:02:11.360 because you're constantly in social situations when you're meeting people,

00:02:14.800 and they are thinking that that's you naturally, that you are just an extroverted, outgoing person.

00:02:20.840 This did not turn out so well for me in dating because what would happen is that I was constantly attracting introverts.

00:02:28.640 Extroverts and introverts are generally attracted to each other.

00:02:31.300 It's like an opposites attract kind of thing.

00:02:33.520 And so I was constantly acting extroverted, and so introverted men were expressing interest in me.

00:02:39.040 And I'm really not attracted to introverted men.

00:02:42.200 So I was sending out all the wrong signals.

00:02:45.140 I was sending out all the signals that were attracting the worst kind of guy for me.

00:02:49.540 The fact of the matter is I knew I wasn't going to end up with someone who was introverted

00:02:52.240 because I loved being around men who were outgoing, who were extroverted.

00:02:56.680 But they weren't really attracted to me because they thought I was also extroverted.

00:03:01.760 And so it wasn't until I talked to a friend of mine where she said,

00:03:04.800 you talk about how you're an extroverted introvert,

00:03:06.960 but people who meet you are just going to think you're extroverted.

00:03:09.360 Have you thought about trying to be a little bit more introverted when you go out,

00:03:12.900 when you try and meet men?

00:03:14.700 And it was like a light bulb went off in my brain.

00:03:18.100 I was like, how did I never think about that?

00:03:21.000 That's so funny.

00:03:22.520 So when I actually went out and started trying to be a little bit more introverted

00:03:27.360 when I was around people, engage that part of myself in public,

00:03:31.620 all of a sudden I met my husband.

00:03:34.520 Now, I don't know if those are totally equivalent,

00:03:37.180 but I do sort of think that kind of accessing that introverted part of me

00:03:41.300 attracted somebody who was so extroverted.

00:03:44.000 My husband is probably the most extroverted person on the face of the planet.

00:03:47.840 If he could be around people 24-7, he would be,

00:03:51.800 and it wouldn't bother him at all.

00:03:53.420 That's how he recharges.

00:03:54.980 And I am more introverted.

00:03:57.180 It works for us because I'm great when we're around people,

00:03:59.920 but I'm the person who's kind of calling it at the end of the evening saying,

00:04:02.800 okay, let's let them go home,

00:04:04.160 because he doesn't even feel exhausted or tired at all.

00:04:08.440 And so it was really a lesson for me in engaging that inner part of me,

00:04:13.160 that introverted part of me, when I was around people,

00:04:16.000 so that when I was actually looking for men,

00:04:18.220 I was meeting men and attracting men who were what I wanted,

00:04:21.960 which was an extrovert.

00:04:23.300 It's so important for me personally to be with an extrovert

00:04:26.420 because I like that my husband can take the lead when I feel like,

00:04:29.780 hey, I need to take a little bit of a step back,

00:04:31.380 or I don't really know what to say here,

00:04:32.780 or if I'm uncomfortable in a conversation.

00:04:35.040 He's really comfortable in social situations,

00:04:37.380 and I absolutely loved that.

00:04:39.340 I didn't want to be the one taking the lead all the time.

00:04:41.400 Now, if you are the kind of woman who is introverted, 1.00

00:04:44.620 maybe bring that out a little bit more when you're around people,

00:04:47.660 and maybe you'll get more interest from extroverted men.

00:04:50.240 Or the opposite.

00:04:51.320 If you are a more extroverted person,

00:04:53.380 but you kind of have social anxiety,

00:04:55.380 maybe try and work on that a little bit

00:04:57.240 so that when you do go out,

00:04:58.800 you can be more extroverted,

00:05:00.560 and when you are trying to attract men,

00:05:02.700 you might attract that kind of man that you're more interested,

00:05:04.880 somebody who is a little bit more introverted and works with you.

00:05:07.700 So really leaning into your traits,

00:05:10.180 learning more about yourself so that you can attract your opposite

00:05:13.440 is so important to finding that right guy for you.

00:05:16.820 Now, what I will say is that

00:05:18.320 not every couple has an extrovert and an introvert.

00:05:21.080 There are a lot of couples where they're introverted

00:05:22.960 or they're both extroverted, and it works for them.

00:05:25.200 So this isn't to say that this is a 100% always do this kind of thing,

00:05:29.380 but it is something to keep in mind

00:05:31.240 if you've found that the guys that you are attracting

00:05:33.900 aren't the kind of guys that you're interested in.

00:05:36.140 So if that is something that you're noticing,

00:05:38.440 maybe try putting this into practice in your own life.

00:05:40.660 Next up, let's talk about the kind of dates that you go on.

00:05:44.040 Make sure that the kind of dates that you're going on

00:05:46.240 are things that you're actually interested in.

00:05:48.260 Don't just agree to whatever he suggests

00:05:49.960 unless you're really open-minded

00:05:51.360 because if you're constantly going on dates that just he enjoys,

00:05:55.240 then he's not really going to see your personality.

00:05:57.360 You're not going to see if you guys have similar interests.

00:05:59.300 You're not going to see if you guys are both open-minded

00:06:01.300 to trying new things.

00:06:02.400 It's really important to voice what you like to do

00:06:06.180 because if he's constantly attending events

00:06:08.360 that you're really not interested in,

00:06:10.140 it's going to inform who he is and your relationship.

00:06:13.600 That doesn't mean that you shouldn't go out on dates

00:06:15.320 and be more adventurous,

00:06:16.560 but it means if it's something that you don't like doing,

00:06:19.500 you shouldn't do it.

00:06:20.640 You should absolutely be open,

00:06:22.660 upfront about the things that you like to do

00:06:24.820 because then he'll learn something about you

00:06:26.940 and you'll learn something about him.

00:06:28.480 You might see what he finds really important.

00:06:30.580 You might see that he is open-minded

00:06:32.380 to the things that you enjoy.

00:06:33.820 You might see that he's a romantic

00:06:35.020 or something like that.

00:06:36.880 Just constantly letting him decide

00:06:38.980 what you guys are going to do,

00:06:40.740 even if it's something that you're not interested in,

00:06:42.820 is just not going to teach you a lot about each other

00:06:45.060 and that's really what dating is

00:06:46.560 and that's really what attracting the right guy is,

00:06:49.140 is finding somebody who you can learn about

00:06:51.520 and see if you guys would be a good fit together

00:06:53.280 because if you're constantly just kind of going along,

00:06:56.180 he's not going to learn anything about you,

00:06:57.860 you're not going to learn anything about him

00:06:59.400 and it's just so important from the beginning

00:07:02.500 to really be using this all as a mission

00:07:05.440 to find the right person.

00:07:07.020 If you're taking dating seriously,

00:07:09.060 those dates that you go on actually do matter.

00:07:11.540 So if you're just going along

00:07:13.100 because you don't want to say no,

00:07:14.660 it means you're not really taking advantage

00:07:16.200 of your dating time to learn about this man,

00:07:19.100 to learn if you guys work together,

00:07:20.720 to learn if you're attracted to each other

00:07:22.060 and to learn if you have similar interests

00:07:23.880 or if you guys are open-minded

00:07:25.740 to trying each other's interests.

00:07:27.280 So it's so important to really be decisive

00:07:30.040 and say what you really like doing from the get-go

00:07:33.680 because he'll appreciate it

00:07:34.980 because A, he won't have to make every decision by himself

00:07:37.440 and B, he'll really learn about you from the beginning.

00:07:40.680 My third piece of advice is to be very clear

00:07:43.840 about your physical boundaries from the beginning.

00:07:46.380 If you're not clear with your physical boundaries

00:07:48.200 from the beginning,

00:07:49.100 then you won't attract the right guy

00:07:50.540 because he won't know how comfortable you are

00:07:53.220 and how far you're willing to go.

00:07:55.140 If you are somebody who is waiting till marriage,

00:07:57.840 it's really important to put that out

00:08:00.140 right at the beginning

00:08:00.780 because a good guy

00:08:01.880 and the kind of guy you want to end up with

00:08:03.400 is A, either going to be on the same page with you

00:08:05.600 or B, going to respect that and say,

00:08:07.900 okay, I'm on board because I respect you.

00:08:10.320 And that is really important to attracting the right guy.

00:08:13.220 That is not negotiable

00:08:14.760 because if you aren't clear with your physical boundaries,

00:08:17.180 the fact of the matter is

00:08:18.300 you may end up doing something

00:08:19.640 that you don't want to do

00:08:20.980 that you would regret

00:08:21.820 and it's not because he did anything really bad,

00:08:24.560 it's just because you weren't clear

00:08:26.360 and you didn't even confirm it with yourself.

00:08:28.720 That's really the first step

00:08:29.860 is knowing how far you want to go

00:08:31.740 and then telling this guy that you're interested in

00:08:34.200 where you are comfortable going

00:08:36.160 because if you're not clear from day one,

00:08:39.140 you guys will be on different pages

00:08:40.660 and you will attract guys

00:08:42.120 who are not comfortable with a girl 0.99

00:08:43.920 who wants to wait till marriage

00:08:44.940 and then you would be halfway through a relationship

00:08:47.740 and in a situation that's really uncomfortable,

00:08:49.900 really not what you want.

00:08:51.180 So to find that right guy and to attract him,

00:08:54.240 being very clear with how far you want to go physically

00:08:56.840 is just going to stop anything that would progress

00:09:00.580 but that would end up in heartache

00:09:02.260 because you would know from the very beginning,

00:09:04.700 from day one, how far both of you want to go.

00:09:08.200 It's just incredibly important

00:09:10.180 for you to know how far you want to go.

00:09:13.060 When guys do express interest in you,

00:09:15.160 you can either figure out

00:09:16.920 if that's the kind of guy you want to be with or not

00:09:18.980 and these are kinds of things

00:09:20.160 that aren't something you want to mess with

00:09:21.760 because you don't want to get hurt,

00:09:23.560 you don't want your feelings to get hurt

00:09:24.700 and you don't want to cross any lines

00:09:26.180 that you're not comfortable crossing.

00:09:27.720 So that's really one of the most important ways

00:09:30.180 to figure out how to attract the best guy for you.

00:09:33.380 Number four is dress for the man you want.

00:09:37.260 It's like dress for the job you want.

00:09:39.300 If you want a certain kind of guy,

00:09:41.220 dressing in a certain way will attract that kind of man.

00:09:44.340 If you're looking for a guy who's a little bit more professional,

00:09:47.520 who has a nice job,

00:09:49.300 you might want to dress a little bit more in a classic way.

00:09:52.020 You want to dress in a way that he would find attractive,

00:09:54.260 that he would want in a partner

00:09:55.300 and that he would like in you.

00:09:57.820 And if you're looking for a guy

00:09:58.720 who's a little bit more casual,

00:10:00.000 a little bit more laid back,

00:10:01.360 wearing something that is more casual,

00:10:03.400 that reflects that.

00:10:04.500 Now, of course,

00:10:05.440 these are things that you should know about yourself, right?

00:10:07.400 Like if you are the kind of woman 1.00

00:10:09.020 who does like to dress casually

00:10:10.580 and that is something that you enjoy,

00:10:12.440 you enjoy casual activities,

00:10:14.600 that might be the kind of man that you want to attract.

00:10:16.600 So you don't have to change anything.

00:10:18.560 But if you are the kind of woman 0.56

00:10:19.960 who maybe dresses in a different way

00:10:21.780 than you live your life

00:10:22.680 and dresses in a different way

00:10:24.040 than the man that you would want to end up with might dress,

00:10:26.860 then that is something you should consider

00:10:28.680 in the way that you dress.

00:10:30.020 You should consider if

00:10:30.760 maybe I should change the way I dress.

00:10:32.520 Maybe I should wear more skirts or more dresses. 1.00

00:10:34.760 Or maybe my skirts should be a little bit longer 0.97

00:10:36.660 and not as short.

00:10:37.800 If you're dressing in a way that is very immodest,

00:10:40.580 you may end up attracting men

00:10:42.160 who aren't really that interested

00:10:43.780 in a long-term relationship.

00:10:45.600 That's not 100% of them.

00:10:46.720 But that is something that could come up

00:10:48.260 because he might think that you are interested

00:10:50.580 in something that's a little bit more short-term

00:10:52.740 and not long-term

00:10:54.040 because you're dressed in a way

00:10:55.420 that doesn't reflect your long-term goals.

00:10:57.900 But if you're looking for a guy

00:10:59.220 who is wanting to get married,

00:11:00.740 who he looks at you and he thinks,

00:11:01.900 I could take her home to my mom

00:11:03.040 dressed exactly like this and she looks lovely,

00:11:05.380 then you would be absolutely up the right alley

00:11:07.760 with the guy that you'd want to be with.

00:11:09.060 So it really is important to dress

00:11:11.220 for the kind of guy you want to attract

00:11:13.480 because men have different preferences too.

00:11:16.180 We have different preferences, so do men.

00:11:17.960 So we might as well kind of feed into that a little bit.

00:11:20.800 Play the game in a wise way

00:11:22.220 so that you end up with the kind of guy

00:11:23.580 that you would want.

00:11:24.700 And I think that there are a lot of ways

00:11:26.120 that you can dress that are definitely something

00:11:27.780 that you would still love and like to wear,

00:11:30.040 but that maybe leans more toward the kind of thing

00:11:32.360 that your perfect guy would be attracted to.

00:11:34.620 So taking a look at your closet,

00:11:35.940 sifting through, finding the kind of clothing

00:11:37.960 that you think would reflect well on you

00:11:40.400 if you were to go out and try to meet someone

00:11:42.200 is a good idea.

00:11:43.540 And if it's something that you really do like

00:11:45.380 and if you only fill your closet

00:11:46.740 with things that you enjoy,

00:11:48.160 then even once you've met the right guy

00:11:49.540 and you guys are together,

00:11:50.300 you still have this closet full of clothing

00:11:51.660 that you know he'll love and you like too.

00:11:53.580 So it's not to say that you should absolutely

00:11:55.100 upend your sense of style.

00:11:57.060 It's to say, take your sense of style

00:11:58.840 and kind of narrow it,

00:12:00.360 use it to attract the kind of guy

00:12:02.220 that you are really looking for.

00:12:03.860 My last piece of advice is to either become friends

00:12:05.980 with people who know you really well,

00:12:07.720 even if they don't share your values,

00:12:09.480 but would be good at setting you up

00:12:11.140 with someone who does,

00:12:12.500 or people who do share your values

00:12:14.520 so that the people that you're hanging around with

00:12:16.380 and the people who might be brought into your circle

00:12:18.580 would be someone who you could end up with.

00:12:21.280 So let's talk about option A.

00:12:23.460 If you have a friend who knows you really well,

00:12:26.780 who respects you and respects your values,

00:12:29.100 even if they don't share them,

00:12:30.720 then that person could absolutely set you up

00:12:32.760 with someone who would be good for you

00:12:34.260 and who you would want to be with

00:12:36.020 because this friend knows you well enough

00:12:38.120 to find that guy for you.

00:12:39.800 The reason I say that is because in my experience,

00:12:42.440 my husband and I had a mutual friend

00:12:43.860 who does not really share our values,

00:12:45.860 but who really respected where we came from

00:12:47.980 and respected our views.

00:12:49.060 So he set us up even though he didn't share them

00:12:52.200 because he knew us well enough to do that.

00:12:55.220 So finding those friends who really know you

00:12:57.840 and care about you

00:12:58.720 and want you to end up and be happy with someone

00:13:01.160 is a really, really good way

00:13:03.920 to attract that right kind of guy

00:13:05.660 because someone's looking out for you.

00:13:07.540 And that is so important when it comes to dating.

00:13:10.440 And then the other thing you can do

00:13:11.660 is just spend time around your friends

00:13:13.780 who you do love their values

00:13:15.400 and who could theoretically not even set you up,

00:13:19.040 but just bring someone into the friend circle

00:13:20.980 who shares your values

00:13:22.500 and who you might be attracted to

00:13:24.060 because you'll attract the people

00:13:25.900 who you also spend time with

00:13:27.620 because they'll just be in your friend circle,

00:13:29.980 in your friend group,

00:13:30.820 kind of more in your life,

00:13:33.420 just the way that you live it.

00:13:35.000 So if you find that you are spending time with people

00:13:37.980 who really don't share your values

00:13:39.720 and don't know you that well either,

00:13:41.760 you're probably not gonna meet that many people

00:13:43.540 who do share your values

00:13:44.780 and the kind of guy that you would want to attract.

00:13:47.240 But being in a group of friends

00:13:48.680 who do share your values

00:13:49.740 is going to up your chances

00:13:51.440 of meeting that kind of guy

00:13:52.840 that you would want to attract.

00:13:54.380 And of course, if you have girlfriends

00:13:55.660 who are dating guys that you like,

00:13:57.040 you should always ask if they have friends

00:13:59.380 because they'll probably also have the similar values

00:14:02.140 that you're attracted to.

00:14:03.240 So it's really just about making it more plausible

00:14:06.100 for you to meet the kind of guy

00:14:07.700 that you'd want to attract

00:14:08.760 by hanging around the same kinds of people.

00:14:11.180 That's just one of the easiest ways for you

00:14:13.320 to figure out who you really do want to be with

00:14:15.580 and to make it more likely that you'll meet them.

00:14:18.320 I think it's really important in life

00:14:20.000 to try and do your best to make things possible.

00:14:23.440 That isn't to say that dating is easy,

00:14:25.460 but it is to say that when you're dating,

00:14:28.080 you should try and make it as easy as possible

00:14:30.040 for the right guy to find you,

00:14:31.580 to be attracted to you,

00:14:32.620 and for you to end up with that perfect guy for you.

00:14:35.360 So putting in the effort to attract that guy

00:14:37.340 is just a really good policy,

00:14:39.200 and I think these are some good tips and tricks

00:14:41.280 for you to try.

00:14:42.540 Let me know in the comments

00:14:43.580 what you do to attract the kind of guy

00:14:45.620 that you're interested in.

00:14:46.960 If you ended up with the guy

00:14:48.240 that you sort of tried to attract,

00:14:49.960 I'd love to hear.

00:14:51.200 Thank you guys so much for watching today's video.

00:14:53.560 Please subscribe to my channel and blog

00:14:55.400 if you haven't already.

00:14:56.660 Hit that notification bell

00:14:57.680 to get notified of all my new videos.

00:14:59.260 Hit that like button.

00:15:00.580 Head over to my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

00:15:02.540 and follow me there.

00:15:03.740 Please head over to classicallyabby.locals.com

00:15:05.940 if you'd like to support my channel,

00:15:07.180 see more of this content,

00:15:08.120 and be part of our community,

00:15:09.240 and I'll see you guys in my next video.

00:15:11.280 Bye!

Classically Abby - July 23, 2020

How To Attract The Best Man For YOU! ｜｜ Are you giving off all the right signals？？

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript