Classically Abby - How To Be Classic At EVERY Stage! ⧸⧸ How Priorities Shift Through Dating, Marriage, And Motherhood

00:00:00.000 Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about how to be

00:00:05.020 classic at every stage. If you are new to my channel here we talk about classic living and

00:00:15.180 traditional values and I would love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification

00:00:19.120 bell. If you haven't already subscribed to my sub stack where you'll get access to a ton of

00:00:23.300 exclusive content including my book club, my weekly articles, as well as my movie club which

00:00:28.640 is super cool, make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com. In today's video I want to

00:00:34.900 talk about how to be classic at every stage. So how you can be classic when you're dating, how you can

00:00:41.560 be classic when you're married before you have children, and how you can be classic once you're

00:00:45.300 a mother. I think it's interesting for me to look back at my earlier videos that I've made for this

00:00:51.540 channel and see the advice that I was giving when I was a newly married woman as opposed to where I'm

00:00:59.260 at now and how some of my perspectives have shifted. And what's interesting is initially when I was

00:01:06.040 thinking about this I was like well maybe I was leading young women astray in a sense. I was giving

00:01:13.440 them advice that I don't really hold to now but then I realized no the truth is is that at every

00:01:21.320 stage there are different things that are more and less important for us to focus on. And when you are

00:01:27.960 dating and when you are married without children yet those priorities are going to look different

00:01:33.780 than when you do have children. And what classic looks like changes and alters a little bit as you go

00:01:41.780 through different stages of life. So I'm really excited to get into today's video so let's just

00:01:46.060 get started. Okay let's start with the first stage when you're single when you're dating. During this

00:01:52.520 period of your life being classic starts with improving yourself. You have the time to invest in

00:02:00.100 improving yourself not only physically and mentally and emotionally but also culturally and intellectually.

00:02:07.780 you have the time to devote to making yourself the best version of yourself you can be. Now that's not

00:02:14.920 to say that after you get married and after you have children you should not be doing these things

00:02:18.800 as well but you are doing them in the context of a different project where you are doing it in the

00:02:24.200 context of improving alongside your spouse. You're doing it as you improve in the task of role of being a

00:02:31.940 mother. It's a little bit different than when you are alone when you're single you have the time to

00:02:37.680 improve yourself outside of those other factors. So starting with physical fitness it's very important

00:02:44.280 to get into the habit of physical exercise while you still have the time so that when you have less

00:02:51.520 time you know how to get back into it get the ball rolling and you're not just trying to figure it out

00:02:58.140 for the first time when you are working on a limited more difficult schedule. I think it's very

00:03:05.820 important to take care of our bodies physically and it's very classic at the time when you're dating

00:03:11.660 to focus on your physical appearance. Now when I say that I don't mean that you have to be obsessive

00:03:17.820 I just mean you are dating you are trying to make a good impression on the opposite sex so that you can

00:03:23.240 find someone to marry and to date and it's important to focus on being beautiful and really embracing your

00:03:30.920 femininity in that way. The reason I'm focusing on this specifically is that when I was looking at my

00:03:36.920 older videos I was really focused on how you can be classic in your grooming. How you can do your hair and

00:03:45.640 do your nails and do your makeup to the best effect to bring out your natural beauty. When you

00:03:53.160 are a mom when you have a baby the amount of time that you can spend on that is lowered is a lot less

00:04:00.040 but when you are still dating when you're in the early years of your marriage that stuff is really

00:04:05.360 important not only for mental health because I do think it's important to take care of yourself

00:04:09.460 physically but also because you are trying to attract a man. So being classic does include really

00:04:16.960 focusing on maintaining your beauty. Now outside of the physical aspect of being classic

00:04:22.280 you can also focus on those cultural and intellectual pursuits that will make you better and more

00:04:28.680 interesting. So take the time to read. Take the time to visit museums. Even if your friends don't want to go

00:04:34.520 go on your own. I've done that before and it's super cool because you can go on your own schedule. You don't have

00:04:39.160 to follow anybody else. You can just sit down and if you want to sketch for an hour you can just sketch for an hour.

00:04:44.760 Go to lunch by yourself and get used to taking some time on your own. Reading at a table. Reading at a cafe.

00:04:51.880 That's always such a lovely way to spend an afternoon. And be involved in friendships and community.

00:04:58.840 Get involved with your church or your synagogue. Join a book club. Shameless plug. Join my book club.

00:05:05.160 The Classically Abbey book club. But honestly use your time to its full advantage.

00:05:10.880 And that is being classic at that stage. Now let's talk about being married. Being classic when you're

00:05:18.400 married when you don't have children yet. Now when you're maintaining your beauty you're doing it

00:05:23.120 for a specific person. You're doing it for your husband. So one of the things that you can do to

00:05:28.960 be classic is ask your husband what he enjoys about the way that you dress, about the way that you do your

00:05:34.960 hair, about the way that you do your makeup. I think that you can still play around with certain outfits

00:05:39.840 and certain things that you enjoy more than your husband does. But it's also important to take his

00:05:45.280 kind of feelings and opinions into account. So being classic and maintaining your physical beauty

00:05:51.280 in a classic way once you're married is doing things that play up your attractiveness to your husband.

00:05:57.520 So wear the clothing that he enjoys. Do your hair in ways that he likes. If he likes more natural makeup

00:06:03.840 do that. Don't do the crazy eye looks. I don't mean to say that you can't ever do the things that you

00:06:09.440 enjoy appearance wise that your husband doesn't. But overall focus on maintaining your appearance

00:06:16.480 in a way that makes him happy and attracts him to you. So that is one way that you can be more classic

00:06:24.880 once you are married. And also I think it's important to maintain those things that you did before you

00:06:29.840 were married. You know continue to shave your legs. Continue to exercise. Continue to keep up your

00:06:37.120 attractiveness level. Because before you're married you have a lot of time. But even after you're married

00:06:41.920 and before you have babies you still have a good amount of time. So it's important to really try and

00:06:46.480 keep up your natural beauty. Now on an emotional level and on kind of a self-improvement level learn how to

00:06:54.640 be a good wife. Learn how to be a good member of your community now that you're in a couple.

00:07:00.560 I think that once you're married it's really important to figure out how to navigate being a

00:07:06.480 spouse. Living in a house with someone who you've never lived with before. Figuring out how to navigate

00:07:14.560 arguments when you've not had disagreements like this before. Those are all really important tasks and

00:07:21.360 things that you should be working on to become more classic along with your husband. So that's how

00:07:28.400 you're classic in that second stage of life. In that stage before you have children but you're married.

00:07:34.000 And of course now is the time to improve alongside your spouse. So read together. Watch movies together

00:07:41.200 that you can discuss. Go out to dinner together and get dressed up and feel beautiful alongside your

00:07:47.440 husband. These are things you can enjoy as a couple but that are also going to make you better over

00:07:53.040 time. And now let's talk about the stage of life when you become a mother. This is the stage where

00:07:58.400 things start to look a little bit different on your classic journey. Instead of your physical appearance

00:08:04.480 being as important, what's going to be more important than that is how dependable you are. If people can

00:08:11.840 go to you and you can offer them help, if you're responsible, if you're somebody that people can

00:08:17.200 depend on. That becomes the expression of being classic that is so important. Does physical appearance

00:08:23.520 go out the window? No. Absolutely not. But there are going to be times that you don't have time to

00:08:28.800 shave your legs. There are going to be times where you don't have time to exercise that day. You're going

00:08:34.000 to have just had a baby and your body takes time to physically recover from that. I know that my body has

00:08:40.720 gone through so many shifts and changes since having a baby just because I'm breastfeeding and

00:08:46.240 there are times and months where I am perfectly on target with my weight goals and there are times and

00:08:51.440 months where I am definitely not. There are days where I eat incredibly healthy because I think it's

00:08:57.360 important and then there are days that I just don't have time to make myself good food that feeds me and

00:09:03.040 I should but I don't get the chance. So cut yourself a little bit more slack in the physical appearance

00:09:08.160 department. But what I do think is important is taking time for yourself so that you feel good

00:09:14.400 about yourself every day. I think it is important to continue to keep up with your physical fitness

00:09:20.080 because when you are chasing after a baby, when you have to carry that baby as he gets heavier,

00:09:25.760 you need to be able to physically do those things. So my physical fitness has kind of ebbed and flowed

00:09:31.920 since having my baby and now I'm getting back into it once again because I think it's important that I

00:09:37.440 be strong and healthy for my son. But the physical appearance is actually secondary to how physically

00:09:44.160 fit I want to be and healthy I want to be. So I think at this stage of life, especially when you have

00:09:49.760 little babies, little young ones, the classic version of looking beautiful is more about doing it for

00:09:57.920 physical health and doing it to maintain mental health. And the truth is, is that your spouse is

00:10:04.080 attracted to you in this time for what you're doing for his children, for what you're doing for the

00:10:09.280 children you share. It's less about how hot does my wife look. I mean, that's still obviously important, 1.00

00:10:15.920 but it's a little bit less important than is my wife being an amazing mother to my child. But I do

00:10:22.400 think that it's important to figure out how to take care of yourself during this time, which includes all

00:10:27.840 of the pursuits that we talked about in those earlier stages. I think that if we don't devote any

00:10:34.320 time to mental growth, if we don't devote any time to reading or to doing things that make us feel good

00:10:43.840 about where we're at, then it can often make us feel stagnant. And I think it's really important to

00:10:52.160 find those outlets that will help you grow even when you're tired, even when you are really devoting

00:10:58.240 most of your time to being a mom. And that time is invaluable and incredible, and it is really

00:11:05.680 important and so special and like the best thing you could ever do. But it's also important for yourself

00:11:12.800 to figure out what those things are that help you continue to feel classic. So for me, it's getting up

00:11:20.000 every morning, exercising, putting on a little bit of makeup, doing something to my hair, getting dressed,

00:11:25.680 and being part of my book club, which really helps because I'm reading all the time. And that's the

00:11:30.480 stuff that's making me feel really classic. So that's how being classic sort of shifts and changes over

00:11:36.400 time. And the definition morphs as you change and your time changes and your schedule changes. So I'd love

00:11:43.840 to hear your thoughts in the comments below. What stage are you in? Is there a way that you feel like being

00:11:49.040 classic during this stage versus this stage has changed your outlook and perspectives? I'd love

00:11:55.360 to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much for watching today's video and make sure to leave

00:11:59.040 a comment down below. If you haven't already subscribed to my channel, make sure to do so

00:12:02.640 and hit that notification bell. I'd love if you'd head over to classicallyabby.substack.com

00:12:07.200 so that you guys can be a part of our community over there. It is so much fun. Thank you guys so

00:12:11.600 much for watching and I'll see you guys in my next video. Bye!

Classically Abby - December 06, 2022

How To Be Classic At EVERY Stage! ⧸⧸ How Priorities Shift Through Dating, Marriage, And Motherhood

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