Classically Abby - How YOU Can Avoid Stay-At-Home Mom BURNOUT! ＊tips and tricks＊

00:00:00.080 today let's talk about how to avoid burnout as a stay-at-home mom

00:00:08.720 hello friends and welcome to my channel my name is abby and i would love if you'd consider

00:00:13.360 subscribing and hitting that notification bell today we are in my son's new bedroom

00:00:19.440 i just recently redesigned it this is where we're sitting and i've got my second son with me

00:00:24.880 as you can hear and he's playing a little bit and if you hear him making noises or playing with his

00:00:29.680 toys it's this little guy at my feet but today i want to talk about some ways that you can avoid

00:00:34.960 burnout as a stay-at-home mom i know that i suffered with it just recently really really

00:00:40.320 severely like i felt tired and exhausted and i was like this must be what motherhood is like this is

00:00:46.880 what i've taken on and i just didn't realize but no that's not true and today i'm going to share number

00:00:52.640 one my feelings about that and number two how you can avoid it yourself so let's get into it okay so

00:01:00.960 the first thing i kind of want to chat about is how i got to the point of burnout i have a two year old

00:01:06.640 and a seven month old and i had let them kind of dictate the day i had let them be the boss and i had

00:01:15.200 neglected my role as the ceo of our household so i kind of was letting them tell us what our day looked

00:01:21.680 like which got really hectic and overwhelming for all of us now there's a few reasons for that number

00:01:27.520 one was my son was telling me he didn't need naps anymore and he was waking up in the night and it

00:01:33.600 felt like his sleep schedule was off so i was like okay well maybe he's done with naps step two was that

00:01:38.160 my son broke his clavicle and then refractured his clavicle and kind of our routine got messed up from

00:01:45.200 that because he couldn't do typical activities the first time around the second time around we figured it

00:01:50.000 out but the first time around he wasn't allowed to do a lot of things so that meant a lot of our

00:01:54.240 normal typical routines went out the window and the third thing was we moved into my parents house

00:01:59.120 for six weeks while we did renovations on our house so again out of our routine out of our schedule

00:02:05.840 my son started kind of acting out a little bit more and everyone was telling me oh that's just the

00:02:10.400 terrible twos i can tell you that now that we've reinstituted things that work as a family the terrible

00:02:16.160 twos kind of thing so far really hasn't been true for us but when we didn't have the right schedules

00:02:24.480 it was coming into play and so with all of that information i felt really overwhelmed and i felt

00:02:29.040 like this is just not fun and most of the women that i am surrounded with are not stay-at-home moms 1.00

00:02:34.720 have never been stay-at-home moms and don't have stay-at-home moms themselves and so when i would say

00:02:38.880 things like i'm really overwhelmed it feels like things are out of control i don't feel happy with

00:02:44.560 way the way things are some of the women i know would say well that's why women go to work because 1.00

00:02:50.000 that's how it's supposed to be that's what life is with little ones it wasn't until talking to my

00:02:56.080 friend who is a stay-at-home mom who gave me some guidelines and guidance about how to take on this

00:03:01.760 role that i was like oh there are ways to make being a stay-at-home mom wonderful and great and there

00:03:08.960 are a lot of misconceptions and misperceptions about what being a mom at home looks like

00:03:14.640 by women who aren't stay-at-home so here's my chaos theory of motherhood that i kind of came up

00:03:20.160 with as all this was happening i realized that if you are a mom who works the times you see your kids

00:03:26.640 are the morning the night and on weekends so those are all times of chaos a little bit right like

00:03:36.160 mornings are hectic so you're trying to get the kids out for school and evenings are hectic because

00:03:40.800 it's bedtime and then weekends are chaotic in a sense because you don't have routines and schedules

00:03:46.240 on the weekends for most people most people are using that as their vacation if you're a stay-at-home

00:03:50.720 mom especially who homeschools then structures and routines are incredibly important because it's your

00:03:58.080 job your job cannot be vacation all the time it cannot be perennial no routines no schedules vacation

00:04:06.000 when that is your life and i kind of felt like that's what my life was becoming was just like

00:04:10.480 perennial vacation we're just constantly trying to go out and do things and i was getting so tired of

00:04:15.200 it because we just didn't have any structures or routines so for moms who aren't stay-at-home 1.00

00:04:20.000 motherhood is in a sense chaotic because the times they're with their kids are not super regulated

00:04:25.920 whereas moms who have to be home with their kids all the time have to have things more regulated and so 0.99

00:04:31.040 there's the chaos theory of like when moms who work will say that's why women go to work because 1.00

00:04:37.120 it's too crazy and hectic and chaotic i hope you guys can hear what i'm saying with my son he's very

00:04:43.120 vocal right now because of all of those things because i was allowing things to become like a

00:04:48.080 vacation all the time and i was allowing my children to run the roost and allowing them to dictate our

00:04:54.560 day to day i was getting so burned out i was tired i was overwhelmed i was over stimulated and i was

00:05:01.840 i was unhappy i just didn't really like my job like i felt like oh maybe this is why women go to work 1.00

00:05:08.000 and one thing i'll say is that i think for a lot of people who see women online they're doing the

00:05:14.240 stay-at-home mom thing and it looks really pleasant and lovely and easy and a lot of these women have 1.00

00:05:20.240 built up such a great following that their husbands are home with them now my husband actually works

00:05:25.600 from home and his help isn't even constant it's it's just a little bit here and there but it's still

00:05:30.640 invaluable like i can ask him to hold one of the kids while i change the other's diaper or i can ask him

00:05:36.400 to help me get the kids out of the car when we get home so i can transfer one of them when they're

00:05:40.240 napping like even those small little things help now imagine that your husband is home with you all

00:05:45.200 the time that's a really different dynamic so being a stay-at-home mom is hard but there are tools

00:05:51.280 to make it easier and of course within all of this it's the recognition that this isn't exactly what

00:05:56.960 being a stay-at-home mom was supposed to look like because that term stay-at-home mom isn't even 0.74

00:06:00.240 accurate first of all outside of that i don't stay home very much we go out and do things but

00:06:05.520 second of all being a mom being at home with your kids was supposed to be a group endeavor a group

00:06:11.280 project so it wasn't supposed to be one woman with all of her kids doing all the stuff by herself 1.00

00:06:16.000 it was really more of a communal activity of women all together taking care of their kids that was the 0.80

00:06:20.640 village for me i have my mom who comes and helps about an hour a day and honestly that's kind of

00:06:25.760 spotty lately and my husband who helps just here and there but for a lot of people that village doesn't

00:06:33.360 exist and so the burnout thing is even more intense and easy to come upon so here's how you can avoid

00:06:40.720 burnout have schedules and routines making your days predictable makes a huge difference because

00:06:48.320 number one it means you're gonna have time for yourself and number two it means that you can know

00:06:53.120 what to expect as each day begins i know that once i started instituting routines and schedules back into

00:06:59.520 our day-to-day it has made a huge difference not only for me but for my kids i feel more well

00:07:06.080 regulated i feel more rested i feel calmer i feel like i know what to expect i have time for myself

00:07:12.080 carved out each day just for me and it makes a huge difference to my mental health and i feel better i

00:07:18.160 can be a better mom because i'm more collected i don't feel exhausted i feel excited to spend time with

00:07:23.600 my kids within the structure we've created for my kids it's made a huge difference too because

00:07:28.800 they're not overstimulated they're rested and they have more impulse control when my sons are getting

00:07:34.640 the rest that they need during the day when they are knowing exactly what to expect as the day goes

00:07:39.280 through what they're going to eat what the schedule is they don't have to control their impulses their

00:07:45.040 impulses kind of are controlled for them and that makes them feel a lot more calm as well i can see

00:07:51.280 how quickly once i instituted these routines my sons benefited so having schedules and routines doesn't

00:07:57.280 make you a strict mom it makes you a good mom because it means you can be better for your

00:08:01.840 children and your children can be better for you so i want to share a few of our schedules and routines

00:08:06.400 and how we make it work did you spit up again and i also want to share kind of our plans for the future

00:08:14.160 and how we plan to incorporate these schedules and routines moving forward so as it is now our day

00:08:19.200 starts at 7 a.m my sons wake up at 7 a.m and of course that means they can wake up really between like

00:08:24.320 6 45 and 7 30 it really just depends on the day but somewhere in that window is when they wake up

00:08:29.600 and if they wake up a little early they go back to sleep generally but that's kind of the rule that's

00:08:34.480 when we start the day after that we have breakfast together we always have a similar breakfast one that

00:08:39.360 we share and then we get ready to leave the first half of the day we spend out that is our rule before

00:08:44.960 my older son's nap we go out and get him tired so we go to play gyms in our area we go to museums we do

00:08:51.440 active things that first part of the day oh where are you going now this is the integral part we

00:08:57.120 reinstituted naps my friend said to me she was like abby you cannot drop the nap quite yet he needs it

00:09:03.600 still he's still falling asleep if you get in the car past a certain time and you need it you need that

00:09:08.160 time now i thought this was really smart because and this is what i meant when i said how we're going

00:09:12.000 to carry things through in the future we're going to do nap time but by the time my son is about three

00:09:17.440 we want him to learn how to read so that we can transition into quiet time transitioning into

00:09:22.960 quiet time is really important to us because i want him to still have that hour hour and a half

00:09:27.440 by himself and i need that time and i think it's going to make it easier if he can read while he's

00:09:32.720 doing quiet time so we're going to transition him to quiet time when he's older but right now he still

00:09:37.760 has his nap and it's super important he keeps that my goal is always to try and overlap my two sons naps

00:09:43.760 so that i at least get an hour off as a mom so when we come home we make sure we're home before

00:09:50.240 his nap time we eat lunch together and we make sure he doesn't fall asleep in the car because he

00:09:54.320 doesn't transfer and we get him down for his nap my son still doesn't like going down for a nap he

00:09:59.280 doesn't like sleeping right now he's going through some separation anxiety but he knows he's safe he

00:10:04.560 knows he's loved and he feels physically better when he sleeps so it's really important that he does so

00:10:10.240 second half of the day is a little more variable but i try to write a schedule every night about

00:10:14.560 what we're going to do where are you going over there something we just started instituting which

00:10:18.800 i actually saw on reddit which made a huge difference to our day-to-day was stations so when

00:10:23.920 my son is down for his nap i set out four or five stations and they're fun things for him to do to

00:10:29.440 take care of himself while i maybe cook dinner or clean the house or do some chores so right now an

00:10:34.240 example would be he has a yodo player so a yodo player a few books a car station a play-doh station

00:10:42.080 and a sticker station and then you can just rotate between all those stations while mommy does some 1.00

00:10:45.920 things around the house and he's getting some entertainment but i don't have to be directly

00:10:49.200 involved that has been a great option for us another one is grocery shopping and cooking dinner

00:10:54.240 together we do that as a team and then it's bath time bedtime but we have a really specific structure

00:10:59.840 to our day so i get those few hours in the middle of the day while my son's nap and i can have an

00:11:05.520 idea of the morning and an idea of the afternoon now the morning can be really nice too because

00:11:10.160 sometimes we go to small play cafes where i can do a little bit of work or just sit and read while my

00:11:14.720 son plays or we can go to a museum where i have to be a little more involved or we can go to a class

00:11:20.160 you know we have a lot of options for the morning and we have a lot of options for the afternoon but

00:11:23.840 the the going out in the morning nap and then something a little closer to home for the second

00:11:28.000 half of the day has worked wonders for our family i would love to know in the comments what are some

00:11:33.120 of your favorite routines with your kids how have they benefited you and your life how do you avoid

00:11:38.240 burnout as a stay-at-home mom let me know your thoughts i can't wait to hear if you watched all

00:11:43.120 the way to the end i would love if you would leave an emoji of your favorite hobby whether it be like art or

00:11:48.960 photography or something leave it in the comments below thank you guys so much for watching and i'll see

00:11:53.360 you guys in my next video bye

Classically Abby - July 11, 2024

How YOU Can Avoid Stay-At-Home Mom BURNOUT! ＊tips and tricks＊

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