Classically Abby - February 24, 2021


I Learned To LOVE The Way I Look. Here's How YOU Can Too! ｜｜ Sharing my INSECURITIES...

Hosted by
Abby Shapiro
Mentioned
Kim Kardashian Maria Callas
Conservatives Want You To Look YOUR BEST. The Left DOESN'T. Here's Why. Mr. Potato Head Goes GENDER NEUTRAL？？ ｜｜ The Scoop #24

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

198.98

Word count

2,134

Sentence count

128

Harmful content

Misogyny

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Insecurities about the way you look can make you feel less than and more insecure about who you are. And when you compare yourself to everyone else, you start to feel less and less confident about yourself. So today, I wanted to share how I learned to love my looks and how you can too.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
00:00:04.900 how I learned to love the way I look and how you can, too.
00:00:11.240 I think all of us have insecurities about the way that we look.
00:00:15.100 We compare ourselves to friends.
00:00:16.700 We compare ourselves to things we see in movies.
00:00:18.800 We compare ourselves to stuff we see on social media.
00:00:21.480 And when you compare yourself to everyone else, you really start to feel less than and more
00:00:27.020 and more insecure.
00:00:27.780 Especially given the fact that so much of what we see is filtered or has Photoshop on it
00:00:34.100 and makes people look unrealistically perfect, and we're comparing ourselves to things that
00:00:38.980 aren't real.
00:00:40.160 And when you're comparing yourself to something that doesn't even exist, it can be really hard
00:00:44.240 to find confidence in yourself.
00:00:45.960 So today, I wanted to share how I learned to love my looks and how you can, too.
00:00:51.040 Here on my channel, we talk about commentary, lifestyle, beauty, fashion, and opera, all
00:00:56.840 from a conservative and classic perspective.
00:00:59.600 So if that's something that you'd be interested in, please feel free to subscribe to my channel.
00:01:03.240 So I'm excited to share this video with you guys today.
00:01:05.940 Hopefully, it gives you some inspiration.
00:01:08.040 So let's get into it.
00:01:09.120 The first thing I want to say before we start off is that just because I'm making this video
00:01:13.100 doesn't mean that I'm confident 100% of the time.
00:01:16.380 I don't think anyone is confident 100% of the time.
00:01:20.120 But what I'm really talking about in this video is how I've learned to kind of respond
00:01:25.220 to my own negative thoughts and talk myself out of them.
00:01:28.300 Because I think we all have negative thoughts, and what it really comes down to is being able
00:01:32.740 to say to those negative thoughts, not today.
00:01:35.100 We're not doing this today.
00:01:36.600 And that doesn't need to come into the way that I think about myself.
00:01:39.620 And I think that's really important to share.
00:01:41.120 I think it's something that we can all improve on is kind of our negative self-talk and how
00:01:45.980 to make ourselves feel better about the way that we appear and the way that we look.
00:01:50.860 I also want to quickly mention that I'm not talking about the body positivity movement's
00:01:55.280 encouragement of unhealthy behaviors, such as being overweight or underweight.
00:01:59.900 Beauty is an extension of living a healthy and joyous life.
00:02:03.020 So it really comes down to being healthy.
00:02:05.140 And being healthy and being fit and treating your body with respect, those are things that
00:02:10.640 make people beautiful.
00:02:11.900 And once you've kind of accomplished that, where you are in a healthy space with your body,
00:02:16.380 that's where the rest of this stuff comes in.
00:02:18.340 So my story starts with my height.
00:02:20.700 And I have been insecure about a lot of different things about my appearance throughout my life,
00:02:24.640 just like I'm sure many of you have struggled with things like that.
00:02:27.040 So I wanted to start off with my height, because I am very tall.
00:02:30.840 I am 5'8", which is tall for the average woman, but it's very tall for Jewish women. 0.91
00:02:37.500 At synagogue, we have something called a mechitza.
00:02:39.880 And it's kind of like a barrier between the men's and women's sections, because we're supposed
00:02:44.440 to be focusing on our prayer, and we're supposed to be focusing on our relationship to God.
00:02:48.380 And you don't want to have the distraction of kind of flirting with or thinking about
00:02:52.520 the opposite sex. 0.71
00:02:54.020 The mechitza can really range in height, but it's generally at least 5 feet.
00:02:59.200 And it's supposed to block your view from one side to the other, depending on the synagogue
00:03:02.940 that you're at.
00:03:03.840 Some synagogues have a lower one, but it really just depends.
00:03:06.900 I would wear heels to synagogue, and I would tower over the mechitza. 0.70
00:03:12.880 And no one else was towering over it, none of the other women, because they were shorter 0.99
00:03:17.020 than I was.
00:03:17.740 But I would always be much taller than the mechitza if I wore my heels. 0.98
00:03:21.680 Even if I was wearing flats, I was taller than the mechitza was. 1.00
00:03:24.620 So I was able to see everyone on the other side.
00:03:26.940 I was able to see all the men, and they could see me.
00:03:29.000 And I was really self-conscious about it, because I was tall.
00:03:32.100 I was.
00:03:32.500 I was just taller than everyone else around me.
00:03:34.720 And it's not only that I was taller than the women. 0.56
00:03:36.940 Jewish men tend to be a little bit shorter. 0.97
00:03:39.780 And so I was taller than a lot of the men, too, which was really making me self-conscious,
00:03:44.760 because not only was I just taller than my girlfriends, okay, whatever, but I was taller
00:03:48.820 than the men that I might even be interested in.
00:03:51.040 The next thing I was insecure about was my body type. 0.98
00:03:53.700 When I was young, the movies that I watched with my family were more from the 40s and 50s,
00:03:57.440 and the body type in those movies, the ideal body type, was much more similar to mine.
00:04:01.840 It was like hourglass and curvy, and I saw myself reflected in those body types.
00:04:07.560 But as I got older, I watched TV, and I watched more modern movies, and the women that I was
00:04:12.200 seeing on the TV were totally different than what I looked like.
00:04:15.000 They were really thin and not curvy at all, and I thought that was absolutely beautiful.
00:04:19.860 And that was really the style of the time.
00:04:22.440 When I was younger, the style of the time was being very, very thin and not having curves.
00:04:28.100 And the clothing that was made was made for women who didn't have curves. 1.00
00:04:32.240 The Kim Kardashian look, which is now kind of the body type that everyone wants, that's rather new.
00:04:38.080 When I was growing up, that wasn't the body type that was considered the ideal body type.
00:04:41.720 And so I got really insecure comparing myself to the women around me who were shorter and more petite.
00:04:46.960 I thought that that was the most beautiful body type.
00:04:49.860 And I just started to feel huge.
00:04:51.680 I started to feel very tall.
00:04:53.240 I started to feel just a lot bigger than the people around me.
00:04:57.000 Now, the third thing I was insecure about was my nose, and that started in middle school.
00:05:02.100 A boy I had been friends with in middle school told me he had a crush on me.
00:05:05.740 I kind of liked him back, but we didn't end up dating.
00:05:08.020 And when we were in class one day, he told me I had a big nose.
00:05:10.740 I knew he was trying to hurt my feelings, but at the time, I had literally never even thought about my nose.
00:05:16.820 I had just never even considered it.
00:05:18.640 But I wasn't able to not think about it after he said that.
00:05:21.500 I wasn't able to not look at my nose and see how big it was.
00:05:24.940 And you know what?
00:05:25.820 It is big.
00:05:27.080 I looked at my friends who have a more typical and accepted nose in kind of Western society,
00:05:32.240 and I was really jealous of them.
00:05:34.080 I was really jealous of their side profiles.
00:05:36.060 I used to hate my side profile.
00:05:37.840 And I was really jealous of the little button nose and the noses that weren't distinct like mine.
00:05:42.640 All of this comparing myself to something I could never be made me really unhappy.
00:05:47.880 But then I realized, I'm never going to look like a petite framed 5'1 girl.
00:05:52.960 I'm never going to have a small nose.
00:05:55.480 So comparing myself to people who I could never look like,
00:05:59.100 comparing my fitness journey to women who looked entirely different than I did,
00:06:04.080 and I would never look like no matter how hard I tried, made me feel awful.
00:06:08.920 Constantly comparing myself to people who were structurally built differently than I am
00:06:14.720 was making me so insecure.
00:06:18.020 So what I realized was that I needed to, one, find inspiration from women who I thought were
00:06:24.000 beautiful and who shared my features, and two, only compare my fitness journey and my
00:06:29.500 body progress to myself and not to somebody else who I would never look like.
00:06:34.580 So the first part of this was discovering Maria Collis.
00:06:37.960 I don't know if you guys have heard of her.
00:06:39.520 She is a stunning opera singer.
00:06:41.720 She's an incredible inspiration of mine musically as well as physically.
00:06:46.960 She was a beautiful singer, but what was really impressive about her was that she always put 0.93
00:06:51.920 her acting and her singing on the same level.
00:06:53.840 She wasn't an opera singer who made singing the most important thing.
00:06:56.920 She was always focused on the character as well as her voice.
00:07:00.920 I absolutely love that.
00:07:02.040 It's something that I really respect, and it's something I try to do myself in performance.
00:07:06.180 But she also had a very distinct nose, and I thought she was beautiful. 0.90
00:07:11.700 And that made me feel so much more confident in my own features, because I thought to myself,
00:07:15.920 if she can be beautiful with a big nose, so can I.
00:07:19.640 I could look at her and know that I also was beautiful, even if I didn't have that standard
00:07:24.220 nose that so many of my friends in high school opted to get plastic surgery to fix.
00:07:29.240 And then I started to look up celebrities who had similar figures to mine.
00:07:33.160 I tried to find inspiration from their fashion to incorporate into my style so that I could
00:07:37.860 see what was flattering on them and then see what was flattering on me.
00:07:41.080 And it did end up bringing me back to those classic Hollywood stars from the 40s and 50s
00:07:46.560 who had curvier figures.
00:07:48.460 And they knew how to dress them, so I started dressing in a way that flattered my figure
00:07:53.320 and was more similar to the way that they dressed, belting my outfits, not trying to wear a very
00:07:58.400 boxy top.
00:07:59.640 That would just make me look heavy as opposed to make me look beautiful.
00:08:04.040 And when I exercised, I started to look for inspiration from women who had a similar body
00:08:09.360 type to mine.
00:08:10.200 And so I could start working out in ways that actually were beneficial for my body type.
00:08:14.460 So here's what it comes down to.
00:08:16.380 Having curves is beautiful.
00:08:18.080 Having muscles is beautiful.
00:08:20.240 Having a smaller frame is beautiful.
00:08:22.780 Having blue eyes, green eyes, or brown eyes is all beautiful.
00:08:26.420 Having a larger nose or a smaller nose, that's beautiful too.
00:08:29.400 As long as you're healthy, eating right, exercising, and taking care of yourself,
00:08:34.100 you're beautiful in your own way.
00:08:36.260 Accepting what your body and face can look like, as opposed to what you want it to look like,
00:08:42.520 is the first step toward embracing who you are and loving yourself.
00:08:46.460 You can aim to be the best version of you.
00:08:49.460 The best version of your specific genetic makeup that is unique to you and you alone.
00:08:55.080 You're never going to be taller or shorter or thinner or curvier than you are.
00:08:59.440 So accepting the things that make you you will make you so much more confident.
00:09:03.740 Finding women that you think are beautiful, who share your features and your body type,
00:09:08.480 will remind you that there are so many different ways to be beautiful.
00:09:12.100 There's not one specific model that we all have to fit into.
00:09:15.420 Again, as long as you're healthy and taking care of yourself,
00:09:18.840 you should love your body and the way that God made it.
00:09:21.740 This is why I think there's a very important differentiation between body standards
00:09:26.120 as far as saying that people should be healthy and fit,
00:09:29.100 and that's a good standard that we should fit into,
00:09:31.140 and body standards that say that everyone needs to look the same.
00:09:35.300 Everyone doesn't look the same, and that's good.
00:09:37.940 That's okay, and that's what makes us all so diverse and beautiful in our own way.
00:09:42.920 So I hope you all enjoyed today's video.
00:09:45.360 Please let me know in the comments what you think.
00:09:47.120 I'd love to hear, and share with me something that you're insecure about.
00:09:50.800 Please subscribe to my channel if you haven't already,
00:09:53.080 and hit that notification bell to get notified of all my new videos.
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00:09:58.620 which will just be a little dose of classic into your inbox twice a month,
00:10:02.600 feel free to head over to my description box.
00:10:04.700 If you'd like to follow me on social media, it's at Classically Abby absolutely everywhere.
00:10:09.080 Thank you so much for watching today's video, and I'll see you guys in the next one.
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