Classically Abby - I'm BACK! (my birth story + how to manage life with 2 under 2)

00:00:00.260 I'm back!

00:00:06.020 Hello and welcome back to my channel.

00:00:08.400 I have been gone from my channel for 16 weeks, like 4 months,

00:00:13.700 because I just had my second baby,

00:00:16.080 which is so weird to think because it feels like forever.

00:00:19.280 So 4 months to someone else, like a 4 month old baby,

00:00:22.460 seems really little to me.

00:00:24.400 It's like he's been around for such a long time.

00:00:27.560 My hair is short. I cut it all off because I was tired of having to constantly put it up

00:00:32.920 so that I didn't get spit up in it.

00:00:34.780 I would rather have my hair down and short than have it long and constantly have to tie it up.

00:00:40.680 So I have short hair now and I have 2 babies now.

00:00:44.080 I have 2 sons.

00:00:45.480 My older son just turned 2 and my younger son is 4 months.

00:00:50.440 So I am loving this part of my life.

00:00:53.920 And I really want to share some updates about where I've been,

00:00:57.560 how things have been going.

00:00:58.980 I feel like I have too much to say because I've been gone for so long

00:01:02.300 and I'm really excited to be back.

00:01:04.260 But oh my gosh, like, life is totally different now.

00:01:07.220 There's a reason it took me 4 months to get back on YouTube

00:01:10.280 because having 2 kids is a big change.

00:01:13.460 And it's amazing and it makes me want more.

00:01:16.180 But it's also a lot.

00:01:17.220 I mean, you've got 2 kids that you're taking care of.

00:01:19.460 So I am a stay-at-home mom.

00:01:20.480 I'm with my babies all day, every day.

00:01:23.100 And we go out.

00:01:24.260 We go to my older son's little gym class.

00:01:26.900 We go to the park.

00:01:28.240 You might be able to hear my son right now because he is down for nap time.

00:01:32.900 A.K.A. is he going to nap or is he going to play?

00:01:36.920 We are constantly living in a state of what is happening when he goes down for his nap.

00:01:41.620 But I'm really excited to hop in today's video.

00:01:43.920 So let's just get started.

00:01:44.940 So I'm deciding whether to share my birth story.

00:01:47.460 But I think I'll give you guys kind of, like, the short version,

00:01:50.620 which will probably still be long.

00:01:52.100 But here's the story of how Mr. Baby, number 2, came into the world.

00:01:57.520 So if you didn't know, I used to call my older son Mr. Baby.

00:02:00.260 But of course now he's not a baby anymore.

00:02:01.860 So he is little man.

00:02:03.040 And my younger son I call Mr. Baby.

00:02:04.700 These are their internet names because we don't share their faces on the internet

00:02:07.800 and we don't share their names.

00:02:09.380 So Mr. Baby was born on December 3rd, 2023.

00:02:14.940 My sons are 21 months apart.

00:02:17.880 So here's what happened.

00:02:19.580 I woke up at 4-ish in the morning and I was having contractions.

00:02:23.120 They weren't totally regular.

00:02:25.920 Like, they weren't consistent.

00:02:27.060 They were coming sometimes every 5 minutes, every 10 minutes.

00:02:30.440 But I called my mom.

00:02:32.080 She came over because I thought, you know, I think today is the day.

00:02:35.680 Most of the day I was in early labor.

00:02:37.380 Like, I was having contractions but they weren't regular enough.

00:02:40.720 And then I woke up at about 4 p.m.

00:02:42.440 I had taken a nap and at 4 p.m. I woke up and it was like every 2 minutes they were coming on

00:02:45.900 and they were really strong.

00:02:46.940 So I told my husband, it's time to go to the hospital.

00:02:49.320 Let's go.

00:02:50.240 So luckily my parents and my in-laws were here.

00:02:53.820 So they took my older son and we went to the hospital.

00:02:57.560 They checked me in.

00:02:59.080 They said, okay, you are definitely in labor.

00:03:02.180 And everyone tells you that your second labor is going to be easier and faster.

00:03:06.020 And they are right.

00:03:06.800 It was easier and faster.

00:03:08.080 I had an amazing nurse. 1.00

00:03:10.120 So with my first labor, the epidural only took on one side.

00:03:14.240 And I found out this time that it's because I have scoliosis.

00:03:18.260 So I knew I had scoliosis but I didn't know that that came into play with having an epidural.

00:03:22.480 And when they gave me the epidural this time, I hadn't waited too long.

00:03:26.740 So with the first one, I waited a very long time to get the epidural because I wanted to

00:03:31.720 try to do it unmedicated.

00:03:33.620 This time around, I knew I didn't want to try to have it unmedicated.

00:03:36.140 P.S. That's a whole other discussion.

00:03:39.240 I am a big proponent of getting an epidural if you want one.

00:03:43.640 I don't think there's any shame in it.

00:03:45.080 I think it's really a wonderful thing that we have access to.

00:03:48.540 And it made my labor and delivery so much easier, so much better.

00:03:52.140 It was better for me.

00:03:53.420 I think it was better for the baby.

00:03:55.540 Yeah, we can get into a discussion about that a different time.

00:03:58.100 But this time around, I didn't wait.

00:04:00.660 I came into the hospital.

00:04:01.680 I knew I wanted the epidural.

00:04:02.820 And so they were ready to give me the epidural.

00:04:03.960 So the first time when they gave it to me, it was like an emergency situation.

00:04:06.660 I really didn't know what was going on.

00:04:08.160 This time around, I wasn't in horrible pain yet.

00:04:12.000 So I could be more aware of what was happening.

00:04:15.480 And it was very painful to get the epidural because I have compression on one side of my

00:04:20.300 spine because of the scoliosis.

00:04:21.920 Which means that the epidural doesn't take evenly on both sides unless the nurse really

00:04:25.820 helps to distribute it.

00:04:27.080 Which the nurse did. 1.00

00:04:28.140 She moved me around.

00:04:29.000 She made sure I was positioned so that the epidural would take on both sides of my body. 0.95

00:04:32.700 Which was incredible because what it meant for me is that I could push and it didn't hurt.

00:04:39.860 Now, the reason I say this is important for me and why I am a proponent of epidurals for

00:04:45.100 people who want them is that when the first time around, the doctor kept telling me I was

00:04:49.200 bad at pushing.

00:04:50.000 And it was because I could feel what was happening when I pushed.

00:04:53.820 I could feel that I was probably going to get some tearing.

00:04:56.880 I could feel that maybe I was getting hemorrhoids.

00:04:59.100 Like I could feel all of that and so it made me afraid to push.

00:05:02.300 This time around, I couldn't feel that.

00:05:04.360 I could feel pressure.

00:05:05.340 I could feel that I was pushing.

00:05:06.600 But I couldn't feel the things that would make me not want to push.

00:05:10.360 So this time around, I pushed like for 10 minutes and the baby was born.

00:05:14.120 The first time it took me two and a half hours.

00:05:16.200 So big difference.

00:05:17.240 Now, that also might be because it's a second baby.

00:05:19.440 But I think both things were in play.

00:05:21.240 So I was in labor from about 4 p.m. till midnight.

00:05:24.580 And I gave birth a little bit after midnight.

00:05:27.260 Now, one of the crazy parts of all of this is that my husband got food poisoning.

00:05:32.000 So he went in the bathroom to vomit.

00:05:33.920 I said, I don't think that you should be here while I'm in labor.

00:05:36.480 He agreed.

00:05:37.100 So he went home.

00:05:38.080 And it just happened to be that I had said to him an hour before, I think it might be

00:05:43.020 cool if my mom was here for the birth. 0.80

00:05:45.900 She's never been at the birth of one of her grandchildren.

00:05:48.360 And that's kind of a cool experience that we could share.

00:05:50.560 And my husband said, yeah, of course, let's do it because she wasn't at the birth of

00:05:53.300 my first.

00:05:54.320 And so she came.

00:05:55.740 And because she was there when my husband left, my mom was kind of like my support person.

00:05:59.900 So that was really cool.

00:06:00.940 I had my mom there.

00:06:02.000 The baby was born.

00:06:02.860 It was a super wonderful, easy labor.

00:06:04.920 The rest of the hospital stay was not ideal.

00:06:06.860 Did not have the best experience.

00:06:08.920 But we came home.

00:06:09.940 And little man has just had the best approach to having a little brother.

00:06:14.200 We were really intent on having them have a good relationship.

00:06:17.600 It was really important to us.

00:06:18.800 So we read a book called Siblings Without Rivalry before they were born.

00:06:21.660 I read Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings, I think it's called.

00:06:25.160 I've read a bunch of parenting books because I find them fascinating.

00:06:28.200 And we incorporated some of those things before the baby came home.

00:06:31.820 So we kept telling little man that the new baby was his baby.

00:06:35.180 That was how we communicated that a new baby was coming to the house.

00:06:38.020 It wasn't our baby.

00:06:38.780 It was his baby.

00:06:40.140 And we made sure that when we introduced them, I wasn't holding the new baby and it felt

00:06:45.540 like he was being replaced.

00:06:46.600 The new baby was in his stroller, in his car seat stroller.

00:06:50.420 And I was hands-free.

00:06:52.440 I was able to give my older son a hug.

00:06:54.680 And it felt like, okay, here's a new addition, but you aren't being replaced.

00:06:57.580 And so the transition for the two of them has actually been incredibly smooth, which is

00:07:02.400 such a blessing.

00:07:03.680 Like my older son loves his little brother and my younger son loves his older brother.

00:07:08.760 It is adorable to see their relationship.

00:07:11.200 And it's also been really amazing because we've never done screen time.

00:07:15.000 My older son is very good at independent play and my anxiety before the new baby came about

00:07:20.900 what he was going to do while I was nursing was very high.

00:07:24.120 And it turned out it was really easy.

00:07:26.140 My older son would just go play by himself or he would read books with us.

00:07:29.440 Or maybe sometimes we would watch like a two-minute Winnie the Pooh short on YouTube together.

00:07:34.960 We never set my son in front of a screen ever by himself.

00:07:38.300 If we ever watch anything, it's as a family.

00:07:40.880 So that we do, I don't know, 5% of the time.

00:07:44.040 But mostly we read books or he plays or I narrate while he plays and my younger son is nursing.

00:07:49.400 One of the crazy things that happened postpartum was I had the worst postpartum contractions.

00:07:55.840 I had a week of postpartum contractions that were absolutely debilitating.

00:08:00.700 I had to alternate taking the highest level of Tylenol you're allowed to take in a day

00:08:04.780 and the highest level of Aleve you're allowed to take in a day.

00:08:07.320 And I also had to sleep with a heating pad on my back.

00:08:10.080 I was waking up at 3 in the morning with these horrible contractions.

00:08:12.260 I would have to get in the shower just to let hot water kind of ease the pain,

00:08:16.280 which did help, but it was like 3 in the morning, so I was already exhausted.

00:08:20.580 So next time around, I'm going to try the after-ease drops.

00:08:23.620 I've heard good things about them, but oh my gosh, my postpartum contractions were worse than labor.

00:08:27.340 Like it was crazy and I didn't really know about them.

00:08:31.840 So if that's something you've never heard of, maybe be prepared in case it's something that does happen to you.

00:08:37.740 One of the things that I've realized is the first three months of any baby being born

00:08:41.900 is the hardest.

00:08:43.500 I have a very clear picture with my older son that the first three months,

00:08:47.820 the adjustment to just becoming a mom was so hard.

00:08:50.720 And then it was like I hit that three-month period and oh my gosh, like completely different.

00:08:55.720 Realized how much I loved being a mom.

00:08:58.240 Realized how much I loved playing with my son.

00:09:01.220 And it was a day and night difference.

00:09:03.360 And it was exactly the same this time around.

00:09:04.980 Not that I didn't love being a mom to two,

00:09:07.640 but the difficulties of that adjustment are the first three months.

00:09:11.360 That is the adjustment period where my husband and I are trying to figure out how we work with two kids.

00:09:17.700 We like don't ever see each other because the younger one is crying while the older one is doing bath time.

00:09:23.320 It's just like a whole, it's a whole thing.

00:09:25.960 And then at three months, the younger child, the new baby, kind of figures himself out.

00:09:30.340 Like he starts putting himself on a feeding schedule.

00:09:32.420 He starts taking naps at more regular times and he gives himself a bedtime.

00:09:36.500 And he starts stretching that first sleep of the night.

00:09:39.820 And so we have our evenings back.

00:09:42.220 And my husband and I can spend time together again.

00:09:44.360 And that was a huge change.

00:09:46.220 And my younger son having more of a feeding schedule meant that it's easier for me to go out with both boys

00:09:50.480 and not feel like, oh my gosh, am I going to have to nurse?

00:09:52.540 What am I going to have to do?

00:09:53.740 It just feels much more regulated.

00:09:56.040 For me, any hard thing in life is not as hard when it has an end point.

00:10:01.700 When I realized that like morning sickness for me tends to last about eight weeks.

00:10:06.060 Okay, I can work with that.

00:10:07.880 Or the first three months of having a new baby is going to be hard.

00:10:11.520 But at the end of those three months, things are going to ease up.

00:10:14.020 Amazing.

00:10:14.820 I can work with end dates.

00:10:16.640 If I don't know if something is going to end,

00:10:18.980 if I don't think or know when the end point is for something difficult,

00:10:22.720 that is a lot harder for me.

00:10:24.420 So it's been nice knowing, okay, three months is the mark.

00:10:28.520 And now I can kind of take that knowledge forward for our next baby

00:10:31.780 and feel like, okay, so the first three months are going to be hard

00:10:33.840 and then we'll get through it.

00:10:34.940 But being home with both boys has been such a blessing.

00:10:38.460 Like being, stay-at-home mom life is so fun.

00:10:41.440 I have had such a good time with both boys, taking them out.

00:10:45.560 They're so cute.

00:10:46.880 And I get to have special time with both of them.

00:10:49.420 And that's been really amazing.

00:10:51.940 One of the things that I've learned this time around too though

00:10:54.660 is that you can't have a schedule with your second

00:10:57.020 the way that you do with your first.

00:10:57.940 Because with your first, it's just them.

00:10:59.540 So you build your life around their schedule.

00:11:01.700 The second, you're still on the schedule of the older child.

00:11:04.560 So he kind of has to sleep on the go or he won't sleep.

00:11:09.780 Like he has to kind of go with the flow more.

00:11:12.580 And that means there's a lot of times

00:11:14.960 where he doesn't take great naps during the day,

00:11:16.700 which means he doesn't have great sleep at night.

00:11:19.220 I think when you have the time to stress with your first

00:11:22.780 about their schedule and about making sure you get to sleep at night,

00:11:27.380 then you will stress about their nighttime sleep

00:11:30.420 and your nighttime sleep a lot more than when you're like,

00:11:33.340 well, there's no way I'm going to be able to get them

00:11:35.460 on like a perfect schedule during the day.

00:11:37.500 So there's probably not going to be a lot I can do

00:11:39.840 about their nighttime schedule.

00:11:41.160 And that's okay.

00:11:42.120 Like you could survive with less sleep than you think.

00:11:45.460 And once I've come to that conclusion and realized that,

00:11:48.980 then I don't stress about not sleeping as much.

00:11:51.840 If I have to sneak in a nap here and there during the day,

00:11:54.760 it's fine as long as I recognize that it's okay

00:11:58.400 that my son isn't sleeping perfectly through the night.

00:12:00.640 We kind of started having a few long,

00:12:02.760 like a few nights where he completely slept through the night.

00:12:04.680 And then of course the four months sleep regression hits

00:12:06.540 and he's like waking up every hour and a half.

00:12:08.620 So it just is what it is.

00:12:11.140 And I'm okay with it at this point.

00:12:13.180 One of the things that I learned actually from my mom,

00:12:15.860 which was a huge perspective shift for me,

00:12:18.960 was that I was kind of feeling resentful

00:12:21.100 of having to wake up after a bad night of sleep.

00:12:24.000 I just was resentful that I wasn't getting enough sleep.

00:12:26.620 And my mom said to me,

00:12:27.840 but aren't we so lucky that we have so much energy?

00:12:31.200 And the reason that meant so much to me

00:12:33.620 is because my mom is somebody I admire so much

00:12:36.760 because she has endless amounts of energy 1.00

00:12:38.660 to give to her family.

00:12:40.080 She will be the person who is making lunches for everybody 0.99

00:12:42.880 and doing the laundry and cleaning.

00:12:44.140 Like she will do it all even when she's tired.

00:12:47.000 And I'm always wondering how she has that amount of energy.

00:12:49.600 So when she lumped me in with her

00:12:51.240 and said like, aren't we lucky we have so much energy?

00:12:54.020 It really gave me this feeling of like,

00:12:58.200 wow, I am lucky.

00:12:59.340 I have so much energy.

00:13:00.600 So I wake up in the morning

00:13:01.600 and I kind of like shake myself out

00:13:03.220 if I've had a bad night.

00:13:04.060 And I say, isn't it great that I have so much energy

00:13:05.900 that I can take care of my kids?

00:13:07.060 And I do have that energy.

00:13:09.160 Now I'll hit a point in the middle of the day

00:13:10.580 where I'm tired,

00:13:11.520 but thank God that's like usually

00:13:13.160 during the boy's nap time anyway.

00:13:15.120 And so I'll nap myself.

00:13:17.020 And that's been a really nice way for me

00:13:19.580 to approach those times where I'm feeling more tired.

00:13:22.800 Okay, I feel like I just sped talked

00:13:24.920 for however long I just talked at the camera,

00:13:29.040 but I'm back.

00:13:30.120 I'm planning on posting more regularly.

00:13:32.280 I have some content ideas in mind

00:13:34.160 that might be a little bit different

00:13:35.300 than what you're used to here,

00:13:36.700 but I'm really excited.

00:13:38.420 I think that you guys are going to like

00:13:40.580 what I'm talking about.

00:13:41.920 I was actually inspired by my Twitter.

00:13:44.740 So I usually kind of go in cycles

00:13:46.760 where I'm more interested in certain platforms,

00:13:48.900 social media platforms than others.

00:13:50.680 Like I'll be interested in YouTube

00:13:52.160 and then I'll be interested in Instagram

00:13:53.260 and then I'll be interested in Twitter,

00:13:54.380 but not usually all at once.

00:13:56.480 And lately I've taken a big interest in Twitter,

00:13:59.600 which has been kind of on the back burner for a while.

00:14:01.880 And I realized the thing that I was interested in

00:14:04.520 about Twitter was saying things

00:14:06.860 that I think are obvious

00:14:08.420 and that I believe are important

00:14:10.760 and not really minding if I take flack for it.

00:14:15.060 And I'm excited to do that on my YouTube channel.

00:14:17.620 I want to say the things I know are good and true

00:14:21.080 and I want to share them

00:14:22.140 and I want to share my opinions on them.

00:14:23.620 I want to talk about the culture

00:14:24.940 and talk about it from a like common sense perspective.

00:14:28.800 And if it makes people mad, makes people mad.

00:14:33.440 Like let's do this thing.

00:14:35.180 So I'm really excited to be back.

00:14:36.740 I'm really excited to share more of that kind of content

00:14:39.340 and keep your eyes peeled

00:14:41.600 because there's going to be

00:14:42.520 some interesting things coming your way.

00:14:44.360 So thank you so much for watching today's video.

00:14:46.760 Please leave a comment.

00:14:47.980 If you got to the end of today's video,

00:14:49.780 please leave a comment with a flower emoji,

00:14:53.320 your favorite flower emoji,

00:14:55.220 because then I'll know you watched the entire video.

00:14:57.080 And make sure to subscribe if you haven't already.

00:15:00.560 And I'll see you guys in my next video.

00:15:02.540 Bye!

00:15:03.020 Bye!

00:15:03.140 Bye!

Classically Abby - March 27, 2024

I'm BACK! (my birth story + how to manage life with 2 under 2)

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