I Want To Be A Feminine HOMEMAKER. What If I'm BAD At It？
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this video, I talk about what I've been learning about traditional femininity and how it has changed my perspective on meaning and on what I want from life. I also talk about my experience with being a stay-at-home mom and what it has meant to me and how I ve been teaching myself about it.
Transcript
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Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
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what I've been learning about traditional femininity.
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A few videos ago I talked about wanting to stay at home and kind of grappling with my feelings
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about being a mother and how that has changed my perspective on meaning and on what I want
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from life and in that video I kind of talked about how this isn't meant to be a diatribe this isn't
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meant to change anyone's mind and that's this video too this video is is really things I've
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been thinking about and I kind of almost want to make this a series on my channel where I'm talking
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about things I've been grappling with and things I've been really considering and learning and
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sharing that with you because I love on my channel that we have a community here of women who can
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talk about these things and my point here really isn't to change minds it's really just to kind
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of talk through the thoughts I've been having so today the thing I've been thinking about so much
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lately is traditional femininity and kind of my experience with it what being classic has meant
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to me and what I'm learning about it and how I'm teaching myself and learning things myself and how
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in that process I want to share it with you so if you aren't already subscribed to my channel I would
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love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification bell so you can get notified of
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subscribing to my substack newsletter it's only seven dollars a month or seventy dollars for the whole year I
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would really appreciate that so now let's get into today's video so recently I actually made a friend
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I don't know that she knows that I'm making this video but I'm kind of inspired me to make this video she did so
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if she watches hi but I made a friend who is due on the exact same day that I am and is also having a boy
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which is amazing and she and I immediately connected we hit it off and I just fell in love with her like I
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just think she's amazing and Jacob and I went to stay at their house for a couple of days and I just loved it
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I loved how much they had put into their home how everything felt deliberate and intentional and
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placed out with love and it meant a lot to me and it made me realize how much I admire and how much I'm
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inspired by the friends in my life who kind of either have this innate ability to embrace their traditional
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femininity or were raised with it in a way that I really wasn't so something I've mentioned on
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my channel here before is that my mom is amazing she's my role model I love her so much but she isn't a
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traditional homemaker she worked and my dad was actually a stay-at-home dad and even though she prioritized her
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family and everything always got done and we never felt like she didn't love us or anything like that
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she wasn't somebody who enjoyed the kind of small aspects of homemaking she didn't take time to
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decorate the house for example she hired a decorator like before I was born and that stuff just stayed
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forever and she doesn't really like think about the things that she hangs on the wall and when she
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hosted growing up which she did all the time again a very traditional beautiful thing an expression of
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femininity she didn't like to cook cooking was more of a chore than it was something she enjoyed so
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everything was very like it needed to be quick and get done and if she set the table it was with paper
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not with china or not with the things that she would have to wash and even though again I love my mother
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and I've learned so much from her I have in a way been playing catch up to enjoy the small things in
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life that can bring us real pleasure and understanding the meaning of those simple things in life and loving them
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so I tend to view a lot of what I do around the house as chores I view cleaning as a chore I view
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cooking as a chore a lot of the time I view preparing for guests sometimes even though I do love that aspect
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of things but I sometimes can view certain aspects of it as a chore and I recognized as well in my
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decorating I used to want to be an interior decorator but there was a point where I just was like okay
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well just buy the cheapest thing whatever's the cheapest bed whatever's the cheapest side table just
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get that because it's the most practical which I will say the word that probably describes my mom to a t
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t is practical and so lately I've really been examining this this intentionality and being deliberate
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and enjoying everything every small thing in my life and I think that's one of the huge things about
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being traditionally feminine and learning how to be a really good homemaker what I realized in this whole
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thought process was that you know I've talked about on my channel that I wouldn't say that I was always
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classic I think that this has been a process for me and it's an ongoing one and I love that I'm getting
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to learn about it and then impart my knowledge with you guys I'm learning how to enjoy decorating I'm learning
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how to enjoy thrifting that's not something I ever did growing up and now I'm really loving it I'm
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buying pieces that I love and bringing them into my home instead of just buying something cheap
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I'm learning how to take my time in the kitchen and enjoy the process of cooking instead of making
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it into something that I just have to get done that's that's a really hard one for me I really
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want to become somebody who loves the process of cooking and I do think when I'm in a kitchen that I
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enjoy more when I have more space then I will feel that way more but I can start incorporating it
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now I don't have to wait and I think everyone thinks of cleaning as a chore but there's also a
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big sense of accomplishment when you get it done and focusing on the accomplishment rather than the
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chore itself focusing on the podcasts you can listen to or the music you can enjoy I think that these are
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things that I I'm learning and I've missed out on for a lot of my life and I think there's a femininity
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to loving the mundane I actually saw this in a daily connoisseur video I don't know if you guys watch
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her but the daily connoisseur who I'll link below she has a youtube channel here and one of her videos
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from a while back she talked about falling in love with the mundane and that's how you can really enjoy
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your role as a homemaker and she defines mundane there are two definitions and she kind of says
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okay let's talk about the second one which is the things of this world the the physical things that we
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are elevating by loving them and embracing them and there's something really special about the simple
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things in life I think that we live in a day and age where we all wish we could pay someone else
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to do things around the house for us like I know I've had those days where I've wished for a maid or
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I've wished for a cook or I've wished for somebody else to do the things that I that I'm doing around
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the house and at the end of the day I think there's something really beautiful about taking pride in your
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home and because of that wanting to take wanting to take care of it again I look at my friends who are
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wonderful homemakers and I want to learn from them I want to be better at enjoying my home and making
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my home a welcoming place for other people for my husband and for me and enjoying the time I spend at
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home I think that this is something that I'm growing in and I'm learning to enjoy and finding contentment
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it all comes down to contentment not just in what we do but also in viewing the things around us with
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joy and love and I know that you know I have purchased certain things for this home and I'm
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learning that the things that I have purchased myself or the things that have been giving given
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to me as a gift those things can have meaning just because I chose them and I like them and they
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appeal to me or someone thought of me enough to give it to me like the piano that my father gave
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us last year it means a lot to me every time I see it because he gave it to us as a gift so often we
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live in a world where being at home is being just a housewife I think that that is so silly I talk about
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it a lot but I also had Mrs. Midwest write a piece on my Substack newsletter if you're not following me on
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Substack Caitlin wrote a piece for my Substack newsletter where she talked about the idea of
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just a housewife and how it's bogus really but how to overcome that in ourselves and really learn
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to love that role and I have had to learn it myself because we are trained to think that we are worth more
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than just a housewife than like just taking care of our homes but what is more important than the place
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that you live being taken care of what is more important than making a house into a home for the
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people who live in it I I can't think of much I think it's it's a huge responsibility and a huge gift
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to be able to do those things to love your home and love everything that you put bring into it with
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that intention with that deliberateness and to make it really special for you and for your family
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it's just been really interesting because I feel like I've been learning from the examples of my friends
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who are the same age or maybe even younger than I am
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I never it's funny to think that you're learning from people who are your peers but I know that I'm
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learning from them because I think they had examples of women in their life who made the process of
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homemaking beautiful and I even though my mom was amazing and was feminine in her own way
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I never learned the value of homemaking in that way and so I love it I mean I love making my bed
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every day I think it's really a wonderful thing to be able to say I want to make my bed beautiful and
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set up and when I get in bed tonight I will see that I did something this morning that was beautiful
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and made the house look nice and when the house is clean it is so special especially with this little
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boy coming I think I've been feeling all this so much more potently of I want to get this house
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ready for him I'm nesting for sure and I want to make the whole process of being a mother and being
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a wife really special to me and something that I love and I want to share that with you guys because
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I think that it'll make you all happier at the end of the day instead of feeling like I wish I could
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pay someone else to do this so many of us including me may not be able to afford that and if that's
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the case constantly dreaming of something that's just not going to happen why why don't we just take
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joy in the the role that we get to have I don't think any of this means that you can't have a job
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clearly I'm working here but the aspect of being a good wife and being a good mother and being a good
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homemaker those can all tie in with a lifestyle that includes working I think my mom for example
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if she had grown up in a slightly different time I think that she would have been able to be as
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deliberate at home as she was at work I think she would have been able to if it mattered to her if she
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wasn't as practical she could have decorated the house to her taste she could have been more deliberate
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about what was brought in she could have maybe been able to enjoy cooking a little bit more than
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just getting things done although I do think that can be difficult based on your time constraints but
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this whole process I just feel really excited I feel really excited to to view the world a little
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differently and in a more positive way the words intentional and deliberate they like slip in and
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out of my vocabulary when I'm talking about how I want to live my life and as soon as I remember
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to start using that word again I'm like yeah why haven't I been doing this for the last year
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and I feel like that has been a huge thing for me is whenever I think about being intentional about
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my actions about what I purchase all that stuff it makes me really like excited because I feel like
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I have more control over the things that I choose to surround myself with and over the things that
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I choose to do and that is just like a really good feeling and more control over my perspective
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on those things so those are the thoughts I've been having about trying to be more intentional trying
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to be more deliberate trying to embrace traditional femininity more in my practice of of life and finding
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joy finding more joy in my practice of homemaking and finding more joy in my practice of traditional
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femininity so I would love to know what you guys think let me know in the comments below I don't know
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if you guys have had similar feelings if you are somebody who struggles with being more classic and is learning
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yourself come along with me on this journey it's just so interesting and it's something I'd like to
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to to impart to you guys as I'm learning it and I talk a lot about being classic here on my channel
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obviously I'm classically Abby and some of that is innate and some of it is learned and this is this
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is the part where I'm learning so let me know your thoughts if you aren't already following me make sure
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to subscribe on my channel and on my sub stack and make sure to follow me on all social media it's
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at classically abbey absolutely everywhere thank you so much for watching today's video and I'll see