Classically Abby - I Want To Be A Feminine HOMEMAKER. What If I'm BAD At It？

00:00:00.000 Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about

00:00:04.680 what I've been learning about traditional femininity.

00:00:13.380 A few videos ago I talked about wanting to stay at home and kind of grappling with my feelings

00:00:21.060 about being a mother and how that has changed my perspective on meaning and on what I want

00:00:29.000 from life and in that video I kind of talked about how this isn't meant to be a diatribe this isn't

00:00:35.580 meant to change anyone's mind and that's this video too this video is is really things I've

00:00:41.820 been thinking about and I kind of almost want to make this a series on my channel where I'm talking

00:00:46.900 about things I've been grappling with and things I've been really considering and learning and

00:00:51.580 sharing that with you because I love on my channel that we have a community here of women who can 0.98

00:00:57.220 talk about these things and my point here really isn't to change minds it's really just to kind

00:01:02.960 of talk through the thoughts I've been having so today the thing I've been thinking about so much

00:01:08.460 lately is traditional femininity and kind of my experience with it what being classic has meant

00:01:16.840 to me and what I'm learning about it and how I'm teaching myself and learning things myself and how

00:01:23.320 in that process I want to share it with you so if you aren't already subscribed to my channel I would

00:01:28.360 love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification bell so you can get notified of

00:01:32.500 all my new videos and I would also love if you would consider subscribing to my substack newsletter where

00:01:38.080 you'll get access to a ton of exclusive content I do exclusive Q&A's I do exclusive articles and I have an

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00:01:50.020 it really is meaningful to me it supports my channel and supports the work I do so if you would consider

00:01:55.140 subscribing to my substack newsletter it's only seven dollars a month or seventy dollars for the whole year I

00:02:00.020 would really appreciate that so now let's get into today's video so recently I actually made a friend

00:02:07.060 I don't know that she knows that I'm making this video but I'm kind of inspired me to make this video she did so

00:02:12.420 if she watches hi but I made a friend who is due on the exact same day that I am and is also having a boy

00:02:22.500 which is amazing and she and I immediately connected we hit it off and I just fell in love with her like I

00:02:32.020 just think she's amazing and Jacob and I went to stay at their house for a couple of days and I just loved it

00:02:40.260 I loved how much they had put into their home how everything felt deliberate and intentional and

00:02:48.020 placed out with love and it meant a lot to me and it made me realize how much I admire and how much I'm

00:02:57.140 inspired by the friends in my life who kind of either have this innate ability to embrace their traditional

00:03:05.380 femininity or were raised with it in a way that I really wasn't so something I've mentioned on

00:03:10.660 my channel here before is that my mom is amazing she's my role model I love her so much but she isn't a 0.89

00:03:18.180 traditional homemaker she worked and my dad was actually a stay-at-home dad and even though she prioritized her

00:03:25.620 family and everything always got done and we never felt like she didn't love us or anything like that

00:03:30.980 she wasn't somebody who enjoyed the kind of small aspects of homemaking she didn't take time to

00:03:40.580 decorate the house for example she hired a decorator like before I was born and that stuff just stayed

00:03:46.020 forever and she doesn't really like think about the things that she hangs on the wall and when she

00:03:51.460 hosted growing up which she did all the time again a very traditional beautiful thing an expression of

00:03:56.740 femininity she didn't like to cook cooking was more of a chore than it was something she enjoyed so 1.00

00:04:02.820 everything was very like it needed to be quick and get done and if she set the table it was with paper

00:04:08.500 not with china or not with the things that she would have to wash and even though again I love my mother

00:04:15.540 and I've learned so much from her I have in a way been playing catch up to enjoy the small things in

00:04:26.580 life that can bring us real pleasure and understanding the meaning of those simple things in life and loving them

00:04:35.780 so I tend to view a lot of what I do around the house as chores I view cleaning as a chore I view

00:04:44.740 cooking as a chore a lot of the time I view preparing for guests sometimes even though I do love that aspect

00:04:50.660 of things but I sometimes can view certain aspects of it as a chore and I recognized as well in my

00:04:58.660 decorating I used to want to be an interior decorator but there was a point where I just was like okay

00:05:05.860 well just buy the cheapest thing whatever's the cheapest bed whatever's the cheapest side table just

00:05:10.100 get that because it's the most practical which I will say the word that probably describes my mom to a t

00:05:17.940 t is practical and so lately I've really been examining this this intentionality and being deliberate

00:05:28.900 and enjoying everything every small thing in my life and I think that's one of the huge things about

00:05:38.180 being traditionally feminine and learning how to be a really good homemaker what I realized in this whole

00:05:44.980 thought process was that you know I've talked about on my channel that I wouldn't say that I was always

00:05:51.460 classic I think that this has been a process for me and it's an ongoing one and I love that I'm getting

00:05:58.580 to learn about it and then impart my knowledge with you guys I'm learning how to enjoy decorating I'm learning

00:06:08.500 how to enjoy thrifting that's not something I ever did growing up and now I'm really loving it I'm

00:06:14.340 buying pieces that I love and bringing them into my home instead of just buying something cheap

00:06:20.820 I'm learning how to take my time in the kitchen and enjoy the process of cooking instead of making

00:06:28.580 it into something that I just have to get done that's that's a really hard one for me I really

00:06:33.060 want to become somebody who loves the process of cooking and I do think when I'm in a kitchen that I

00:06:38.420 enjoy more when I have more space then I will feel that way more but I can start incorporating it

00:06:44.180 now I don't have to wait and I think everyone thinks of cleaning as a chore but there's also a

00:06:49.300 big sense of accomplishment when you get it done and focusing on the accomplishment rather than the

00:06:54.180 chore itself focusing on the podcasts you can listen to or the music you can enjoy I think that these are

00:07:00.500 things that I I'm learning and I've missed out on for a lot of my life and I think there's a femininity 0.95

00:07:07.300 to loving the mundane I actually saw this in a daily connoisseur video I don't know if you guys watch

00:07:14.660 her but the daily connoisseur who I'll link below she has a youtube channel here and one of her videos 0.97

00:07:20.820 from a while back she talked about falling in love with the mundane and that's how you can really enjoy

00:07:28.820 your role as a homemaker and she defines mundane there are two definitions and she kind of says

00:07:35.060 okay let's talk about the second one which is the things of this world the the physical things that we

00:07:40.580 are elevating by loving them and embracing them and there's something really special about the simple

00:07:48.340 things in life I think that we live in a day and age where we all wish we could pay someone else

00:07:54.660 to do things around the house for us like I know I've had those days where I've wished for a maid or

00:08:00.980 I've wished for a cook or I've wished for somebody else to do the things that I that I'm doing around

00:08:08.260 the house and at the end of the day I think there's something really beautiful about taking pride in your

00:08:13.700 home and because of that wanting to take wanting to take care of it again I look at my friends who are

00:08:20.100 wonderful homemakers and I want to learn from them I want to be better at enjoying my home and making

00:08:31.220 my home a welcoming place for other people for my husband and for me and enjoying the time I spend at

00:08:36.980 home I think that this is something that I'm growing in and I'm learning to enjoy and finding contentment

00:08:45.380 it all comes down to contentment not just in what we do but also in viewing the things around us with

00:08:53.780 joy and love and I know that you know I have purchased certain things for this home and I'm

00:08:59.620 learning that the things that I have purchased myself or the things that have been giving given

00:09:04.660 to me as a gift those things can have meaning just because I chose them and I like them and they

00:09:11.620 appeal to me or someone thought of me enough to give it to me like the piano that my father gave

00:09:17.700 us last year it means a lot to me every time I see it because he gave it to us as a gift so often we

00:09:22.980 live in a world where being at home is being just a housewife I think that that is so silly I talk about

00:09:32.020 it a lot but I also had Mrs. Midwest write a piece on my Substack newsletter if you're not following me on

00:09:39.140 Substack Caitlin wrote a piece for my Substack newsletter where she talked about the idea of

00:09:45.940 just a housewife and how it's bogus really but how to overcome that in ourselves and really learn

00:09:53.460 to love that role and I have had to learn it myself because we are trained to think that we are worth more

00:10:01.540 than just a housewife than like just taking care of our homes but what is more important than the place

00:10:09.860 that you live being taken care of what is more important than making a house into a home for the

00:10:16.900 people who live in it I I can't think of much I think it's it's a huge responsibility and a huge gift

00:10:24.820 to be able to do those things to love your home and love everything that you put bring into it with

00:10:31.700 that intention with that deliberateness and to make it really special for you and for your family

00:10:39.060 it's just been really interesting because I feel like I've been learning from the examples of my friends

00:10:43.700 who are the same age or maybe even younger than I am

00:10:46.820 I never it's funny to think that you're learning from people who are your peers but I know that I'm

00:10:55.940 learning from them because I think they had examples of women in their life who made the process of 0.81

00:11:03.060 homemaking beautiful and I even though my mom was amazing and was feminine in her own way

00:11:10.500 I never learned the value of homemaking in that way and so I love it I mean I love making my bed

00:11:18.820 every day I think it's really a wonderful thing to be able to say I want to make my bed beautiful and

00:11:24.660 set up and when I get in bed tonight I will see that I did something this morning that was beautiful

00:11:29.700 and made the house look nice and when the house is clean it is so special especially with this little

00:11:37.540 boy coming I think I've been feeling all this so much more potently of I want to get this house

00:11:44.580 ready for him I'm nesting for sure and I want to make the whole process of being a mother and being

00:11:51.300 a wife really special to me and something that I love and I want to share that with you guys because

00:11:58.420 I think that it'll make you all happier at the end of the day instead of feeling like I wish I could

00:12:03.620 pay someone else to do this so many of us including me may not be able to afford that and if that's

00:12:08.980 the case constantly dreaming of something that's just not going to happen why why don't we just take

00:12:16.260 joy in the the role that we get to have I don't think any of this means that you can't have a job

00:12:22.740 clearly I'm working here but the aspect of being a good wife and being a good mother and being a good

00:12:29.540 homemaker those can all tie in with a lifestyle that includes working I think my mom for example

00:12:38.580 if she had grown up in a slightly different time I think that she would have been able to be as

00:12:45.540 deliberate at home as she was at work I think she would have been able to if it mattered to her if she

00:12:51.220 wasn't as practical she could have decorated the house to her taste she could have been more deliberate

00:12:56.340 about what was brought in she could have maybe been able to enjoy cooking a little bit more than

00:13:03.300 just getting things done although I do think that can be difficult based on your time constraints but

00:13:08.660 this whole process I just feel really excited I feel really excited to to view the world a little

00:13:17.140 differently and in a more positive way the words intentional and deliberate they like slip in and

00:13:22.900 out of my vocabulary when I'm talking about how I want to live my life and as soon as I remember

00:13:28.020 to start using that word again I'm like yeah why haven't I been doing this for the last year

00:13:34.100 and I feel like that has been a huge thing for me is whenever I think about being intentional about

00:13:38.820 my actions about what I purchase all that stuff it makes me really like excited because I feel like

00:13:46.740 I have more control over the things that I choose to surround myself with and over the things that

00:13:51.220 I choose to do and that is just like a really good feeling and more control over my perspective

00:13:58.180 on those things so those are the thoughts I've been having about trying to be more intentional trying

00:14:04.260 to be more deliberate trying to embrace traditional femininity more in my practice of of life and finding

00:14:12.180 joy finding more joy in my practice of homemaking and finding more joy in my practice of traditional

00:14:21.380 femininity so I would love to know what you guys think let me know in the comments below I don't know

00:14:27.540 if you guys have had similar feelings if you are somebody who struggles with being more classic and is learning

00:14:34.180 yourself come along with me on this journey it's just so interesting and it's something I'd like to

00:14:40.980 to to impart to you guys as I'm learning it and I talk a lot about being classic here on my channel

00:14:46.740 obviously I'm classically Abby and some of that is innate and some of it is learned and this is this

00:14:53.540 is the part where I'm learning so let me know your thoughts if you aren't already following me make sure

00:14:58.820 to subscribe on my channel and on my sub stack and make sure to follow me on all social media it's

00:15:02.900 at classically abbey absolutely everywhere thank you so much for watching today's video and I'll see

00:15:07.780 you guys in the next one bye

Classically Abby - December 07, 2021

I Want To Be A Feminine HOMEMAKER. What If I'm BAD At It？

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