Classically Abby - September 13, 2022


Ladies, Are We REALLY Putting Our Children FIRST？ ⧸⧸ Stay-At-Home Mom Shares Her Thoughts...


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

155.01395

Word count

1,872

Sentence count

110

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about the importance of putting your child first and why you should be a stay-at-home mom if you re a woman in the workplace. I also discuss the benefits of being a mom and why it s better to stay at home with your kids.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
00:00:03.920 putting your child first.
00:00:11.360 If you are new to my channel, here we talk about classic living and traditional values
00:00:15.200 and I would love if you would consider subscribing and hitting that notification bell.
00:00:18.760 If you want access to a ton of exclusive content including my book club, my AV club,
00:00:23.540 my weekly podcast, as well as a monthly Zoom girl chat, make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com.
00:00:32.300 Now a series I've been doing on my channel for a little while is kind of like a motherhood chat
00:00:37.640 and I started doing these when I was pregnant and now I'm doing them as a mama.
00:00:43.660 And it's really a place for me to kind of share my thoughts, share my feelings as I'm going through
00:00:48.580 my motherhood journey.
00:00:49.860 Now I'm really not trying to change anybody's mind here, I just want to talk about my thoughts
00:00:55.680 and feelings as I'm navigating life, as I'm navigating motherhood, as I'm navigating being
00:01:01.080 a homemaker and a wife.
00:01:03.240 And I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments too.
00:01:05.780 See if anybody feels what I feel or thinks what I've been thinking or even if you disagree,
00:01:12.280 I would love if you would consider doing it in a more respectful way despite the fact that
00:01:17.040 what I'm talking about today may not be super popular.
00:01:19.140 So I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, but let's get into today's video.
00:01:24.320 So I have been thinking a lot of things going through motherhood.
00:01:31.160 My son is almost six months old.
00:01:33.620 He'll be six months old in just a couple of days.
00:01:36.600 And I've changed so much as a person.
00:01:40.820 My thoughts and feelings about motherhood have changed so much.
00:01:45.160 And what keeps going through my head is, put your child first.
00:01:52.400 So something that I've been thinking a lot about is women's place in the workplace and
00:02:00.760 women's place at home. 1.00
00:02:02.100 I used to feel like, oh, if you choose to work, you choose to work.
00:02:08.020 And if you choose to go be a stay-at-home mom, be a stay-at-home mom, do what works for you.
00:02:14.620 But ever since becoming a mom, I have really started to question that.
00:02:20.220 I've started to question why we put work ahead of motherhood.
00:02:28.980 I really feel like my son needs me here.
00:02:33.060 And I could not justify being a girl boss instead of being at home with him.
00:02:40.040 He benefits so much from me being home.
00:02:42.920 I benefit so much from being home.
00:02:44.680 One thing I want to interrupt myself to say is, not only does he benefit from me being
00:02:50.020 home, I benefit from being home.
00:02:54.240 I love it.
00:02:55.940 And I don't think that that's unique to me.
00:02:58.500 I think that I'm in a position where I can say that, where I can feel it, where I can express
00:03:04.880 it openly.
00:03:06.320 But I don't think that it's just my personality.
00:03:08.760 I think women love raising their kiddos and being home and enjoying them. 1.00
00:03:18.140 But we live in a society where if you put being a stay-at-home mom ahead of pursuing a
00:03:28.100 career, you're not living up to your potential, which I hate.
00:03:36.340 I hate that concept.
00:03:37.380 I hate that your potential can only be lived up to through a job, through a career, through
00:03:44.480 a position in a workplace, as opposed to the one job that you are completely irreplaceable
00:03:51.960 as your child's mother.
00:03:54.640 I don't know that I think that women being in the workplace is more important or even 0.94
00:04:02.300 as important as them being at home with their kids.
00:04:05.700 And that is a really unpopular opinion in today's day and age, saying that I think that
00:04:15.840 kids need their moms and moms uniquely.
00:04:20.580 We were built for this, right?
00:04:22.500 There's a reason that God allowed us to feed our children through our bodies.
00:04:27.380 Now, that's not to say if you're in a position where breastfeeding didn't work out for you,
00:04:31.200 you're any less of a woman, not talking about that.
00:04:33.420 But biologically, women were built to feed their children, not through a bottle, none 1.00
00:04:40.820 of that.
00:04:41.240 We were built that way.
00:04:42.240 And we were also built to feed them regularly, which is why if you stop pumping or if you
00:04:49.300 stop nursing, your supply goes down.
00:04:51.380 If you're separated from your baby for too long, your supply goes down.
00:04:55.120 I think we were biologically built to be around our kids when they need us.
00:05:02.960 And we are really not meant to spend those formative early years away from our kids.
00:05:12.860 This is not popular.
00:05:18.820 I know.
00:05:19.500 I know.
00:05:20.060 I keep saying that because I'll be honest.
00:05:24.080 I've been feeling really alone since I've started having these thoughts.
00:05:27.580 I've started feeling like I can't say this.
00:05:32.120 I can't say what I think, which is that women are better off with their kids than going out 0.99
00:05:40.680 and pursuing a career.
00:05:41.500 And I don't think anybody will say it because we're so trained to believe that women have 1.00
00:05:50.280 the right to be in the workplace.
00:05:52.800 I mean, the fact of the matter is that if you're in a family where both parents need
00:05:57.680 to work to support that family, that is not what I'm talking about here, right?
00:06:01.320 Because that is a situation where your responsibility is to keep your family clothed and fed.
00:06:06.280 And if that means that mom goes to work and dad goes to work, that's what you do.
00:06:09.980 But I'm talking about the privilege that we live in of women who want to pursue their careers 1.00
00:06:17.960 as girl bosses as opposed to stay at home with their kids.
00:06:23.020 Maybe live with a little less.
00:06:25.000 Maybe work off of one income if you can.
00:06:28.160 Or have mom do a job that earns a little bit on the side, but can be done in flexible hours 1.00
00:06:35.140 and doesn't require that the kiddo needs to go to daycare or something like that.
00:06:43.380 Man, I have so many thoughts today.
00:06:45.080 I think that motherhood is something that we can be good at, we can research.
00:06:52.620 So much of motherhood is taught to be something we wing, like you're winging it, 0.85
00:06:58.720 instead of something you can hone as a craft, like how to help your child developmentally
00:07:07.060 reach their milestones, how to give them the right foods, how to prevent them from becoming
00:07:12.160 picky eaters.
00:07:13.260 Like, those are all things we can research and learn as opposed to just winging.
00:07:18.660 We can treat motherhood as a craft.
00:07:21.300 And on top of that, we can treat homemaking as a craft.
00:07:24.300 That is a totally lost art and one that I'm constantly trying to teach myself.
00:07:29.000 When I think of homemaking as a craft, as something I could get really good at,
00:07:32.840 it's so exciting to me as opposed to thinking of all of the things that I could do at home as chores.
00:07:40.080 It's just a chore I have to get done.
00:07:41.800 If I could hire someone else to do it, I would.
00:07:43.540 I don't want to take care of it.
00:07:44.500 As opposed to something I could hone and learn how to do and be really fantastic at.
00:07:49.340 That's where I could funnel my potential, is being a good mom, being a good wife, 1.00
00:07:53.880 being a good homemaker, not in the workplace.
00:08:00.060 I don't know.
00:08:00.740 I feel like my work that I do here is awesome,
00:08:06.360 but it only is ever done in the context of my baby or my husband not needing me in that moment.
00:08:15.900 I'm so blessed that we live near family.
00:08:18.780 And by blessed, I mean we made the choice to live near family
00:08:21.640 and to be in a community that could help us.
00:08:24.080 The other part of this is that staying with your kids
00:08:26.780 and helping them grow and raising them and being a homemaker, 0.79
00:08:29.740 that can be lonely if you aren't set up for it.
00:08:33.860 If you aren't in a community, if you aren't close to family.
00:08:36.320 And the reason that happens is because we encourage people to go and leave home
00:08:40.580 and then you get these nuclear families in the negative sense 0.83
00:08:45.060 where everyone is so atomic that they don't have the support that they need
00:08:48.960 of their extended family and motherhood is not supposed to be done in a vacuum.
00:08:53.080 If all women were homemakers, if all women stayed at home 1.00
00:08:57.260 and we all lived in communities that supported us,
00:08:59.480 if our families were near us, it wouldn't be lonely.
00:09:02.680 We would have each other.
00:09:03.520 We would all hang out and hang and teach our children as a group.
00:09:06.700 A lot of these thoughts came out of reading Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self
00:09:12.900 by Carl Truman and Expressive Individualism.
00:09:17.000 If you haven't read his book, you should check it out.
00:09:19.060 But Expressive Individualism is the idea that you need to know yourself internally,
00:09:25.360 like your definition of self is an internal one
00:09:28.960 as opposed to contextualized by who you are in the context of others,
00:09:35.100 who you are as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter, as a friend, in society,
00:09:39.780 which is a much more important way to view yourself.
00:09:43.440 It's not just about who I am in the inside.
00:09:45.880 It's who I am in the context of others.
00:09:48.480 We are not ourselves in a vacuum.
00:09:50.420 We are only ourselves in the context of others.
00:09:52.660 And so when we tell people to go out and explore themselves, find themselves,
00:10:00.400 they leave home and they leave that context of others.
00:10:04.160 They leave the people who defined them,
00:10:10.780 to find other people who defined them,
00:10:12.240 but then they get slowly more lonely and separated from the people who could help.
00:10:16.120 I just think that motherhood is the best gift that God has given women
00:10:22.320 that women would love it if they knew they could,
00:10:26.840 that children would benefit if their mothers treated it like something that was important
00:10:32.760 as opposed to something they did because they wanted to on a whim,
00:10:36.960 that families would benefit from mothers taking care of the home with love and care
00:10:44.440 and not treating it like they were constantly having to do chores.
00:10:50.420 Women would be happier. 1.00
00:10:51.560 Babies would be happier.
00:10:52.960 Fathers would be happier.
00:10:57.080 And when kids are old enough where they're in school
00:11:00.560 or when you have a few hours where the kids are asleep,
00:11:05.180 you could do the work that you want to do outside of that.
00:11:08.320 But that isn't necessary.
00:11:09.940 And if you choose to do it,
00:11:12.120 it's not the only thing that makes you live up to your potential.
00:11:20.480 I'd really like to know your thoughts on all this.
00:11:23.220 I'd like to hear because I'm working through it myself.
00:11:25.740 And it's not easy to say these things in 2022.
00:11:33.580 So I'd love to hear your thoughts.
00:11:37.100 I hope you guys enjoyed today's video.
00:11:39.220 Please subscribe and hit that notification bell
00:11:41.320 and make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com.
00:11:45.220 And if you'd like to follow me on social media,
00:11:47.260 it's at Classically Abbey absolutely everywhere.
00:11:49.920 Thank you guys so much for watching
00:11:51.120 and I'll see you guys in my next video.
00:11:53.940 Bye.
00:12:03.580 Bye.