LADIES. Let's Talk Dating For MARRIAGE： The SECRET Formula! ｜｜ CONSERVATIVE Guide To Dating
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Summary
In today s day and age, dating for fun is much more common than dating seriously and for a purpose. Now if you re just dating to have fun, that s not going to be the path to a relationship that actually has the potential to last forever. In my opinion, there s a perfect recipe for knowing who the right guy is and actually having a long-lasting relationship that lasts.
Transcript
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Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where I'm going to tell you my secret recipe for
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love, chemistry and compatibility. Love is wonderful, but it isn't always easy to find
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and it's definitely tricky to figure out what exactly the formula is to have it last. In today's
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day and age, dating for fun is much more common than dating seriously and dating for a purpose.
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Now, if you're just dating for fun, that's not going to be the path to a relationship that actually
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has the potential to last forever. And that's not to say that dating shouldn't be fun at all.
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Of course it should be fun. But it also needs to have the grounding principles that allow that
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relationship to last more than just one date or that can last a while but don't end in marriage
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and don't end in a family. I think we all want a lasting and meaningful connection. But in my
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opinion, there's a perfect recipe for knowing who the right guy is and actually having a relationship
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that lasts. And we have to be picky as women about who we choose to date and who we choose to spend
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our time with. If you're just dating for fun and you waste two, three years with somebody who really
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doesn't have the potential to have a long-lasting relationship with you, then you are only wasting
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your own time in finding the right person for you. So in my opinion, there are two things that are
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integral for a long-lasting relationship. And that is chemistry and compatibility. Now, I know you've
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heard this before, but I have a little bit of a different spin on it. So today, I'm really excited
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to share my thoughts on what you should be looking for when you are trying to pick a partner, when
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you're dating, that turns into marriage and eventually a family. If you are new to my channel, we talk about
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lifestyle, commentary, beauty, fashion, and opera, all from a conservative and classic perspective.
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So feel free to subscribe and hit that notification bell to get notified of all my new videos.
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But now, let's get into it. Unless you met the guy that you were going to marry in high school,
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most women have dated a few different guys. And I think most women have dated their chemistry guy.
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Your chemistry guy is the guy that you were obsessed with. You thought that you guys were
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perfect for each other. Your personalities just meshed. You thought about him all the time.
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You couldn't get him out of your head. And you thought to yourself, he just gets me.
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You could talk to each other for hours on end. You were really physically attracted to each other.
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And you were absolutely in love with your chemistry guy. But then it came to the big questions.
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Then it came to religion. Or it came to politics. Or it came to values. Or it came to wanting children.
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These things, you didn't agree on. At all. But it didn't matter, right?
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You thought to yourself, my chemistry guy, he is perfect for me. It doesn't matter that we're not
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compatible. We are just too perfect for each other to give this up. We are soulmates.
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And for a while, you were able to ignore the big questions. You could brush them under the rug and
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pretend that they didn't exist. You could say, oh, well, he doesn't want kids, but that won't come up
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for a very long time, so we won't worry about it. Or, he doesn't care about my faith. That's fine.
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I'll just ignore it for the moment. But the arguments come up. They came up so often that
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you couldn't ignore them. And it made you guys question your relationship. Even as you couldn't
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question the connection that you had, you questioned your relationship and the longevity.
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And in a way, that made the relationship feel even more right. Even more special. That drama where you
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had to fight for each other's love. Where you knew that there was going to be passion at the end of
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your resolutions. That anxiety made your emotions go up and down on a roller coaster. And the ups,
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the super high highs, made you feel like, wow, I've never been more in love with someone. But in order
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to have those really high highs, you had to have those really low lows. Where you knew in your gut
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that this may not end up being the right person. And in the end, that relationship with your chemistry
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guy didn't work out. Those questions were too important and needed to be dealt with. And that
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breakup was painful. I know because I've been there. I've dated my chemistry guy. I've dated that
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guy who I thought we were absolutely perfect for each other because we understood each other on a
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whole nother level. I thought to myself that the big questions and the stuff that we didn't agree on,
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it didn't matter. Because we were just so in sync that any other thing that got in between us was
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just, it didn't, it wasn't important. And it didn't work out. Because those questions were important.
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And even though that person and I got along really well and just were super into each other,
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it didn't matter. Because at the end of the day, we didn't have compatibility. We only had chemistry.
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And I know a lot of other women when I've talked about a relationship like this. And they've
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experienced it themselves. And they didn't end up with that person. Then there's your compatibility
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guy. I think a lot of women have dated this guy too. This is the guy who checked off all of the
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boxes on paper. You could introduce him to your friends and your family. And they would think that
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you guys were perfect together. Because on paper, you made total sense. You thought to yourself,
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we should be soulmates. We should fit together. But I don't feel like we do. With that guy,
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you feel like you should be able to spend your entire future with him. But you don't like spending
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time with him. You didn't really get along. You didn't really have a great time with each other.
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You didn't really look forward to your dates. And it may even have felt boring. When you broke up
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with your compatibility guy, your heart didn't break. You didn't feel like really torn up about it.
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But you did feel like, did I make a mistake? Was this the right guy? Should I have stayed with him?
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Was he perfect for me? I've dated this guy too. I've dated the guy who on paper, the two of us
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would have been perfection. We made total sense together. And I didn't like spending time with
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him. And I could not justify after we broke up why I just couldn't feel right with him. Why that wasn't
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a perfect relationship and why it wouldn't end up in marriage. I just could not understand it. And he
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was my compatibility guy. He did not have any of the chemistry of the first guy. He had all of the
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compatibility that the first relationship was missing. In both of those cases, I was missing and
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you're missing one vital ingredient. You need chemistry and compatibility for a long lasting relationship.
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When you meet the right guy, you can talk through the night and you can talk about your future. But
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you're not afraid of losing him in the way that you are with your chemistry guy, where you constantly
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are on edge about, oh my gosh, when is this going to fall apart because those big questions aren't
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answered. Everything feels so much more secure and much more calm because there isn't that fear that
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things are going to end. And that piece is so worth looking for. I think so many women confuse passion
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with anxiety. They think that that feeling of, oh my gosh, I need to be with this person. And if we're
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not together, like things are going to fall apart. I'm going to fall apart. I need them and I don't want
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to lose them. That's anxiety because you are afraid of losing them. When you're with the right person,
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you don't feel that because there's not a concern that you're going to lose that person. You guys
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agree on the big stuff and you also love spending time together. That feeling in the pit of your
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stomach that you can't bear to lose someone is only there because you're afraid that your relationship
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will end. Real passion and passion that lasts is a slow burn. And it's so much more satisfying
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because you know that your relationship is going to go the distance. When Jacob and I met,
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it was obvious so quickly for the both of us that we had met our chemistry and compatibility person.
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It was both. We got along so well. We talked all the time. Literally, we could not stop talking.
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And at the same time, both of us knew we wanted to get married. Both of us were Jewish. Both of us knew
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we wanted to raise our children in a Jewish household. Both of us were on the same side of the political
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spectrum. We shared values. We both wanted children. It was so easy for me to see what I had been missing
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in previous relationships. I had my chemistry guy and my compatibility guy in one person. And it was
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the best feeling. It was not anxiety inducing. It was so calming. It was this feeling of even keel.
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I didn't have to worry that Jacob was going to leave or that we were going to break up because
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we agreed on everything important and we loved spending time together. We literally talked about
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getting married a week after we started dating. And it was so easy for us to tell that we were with
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the right person because things were so easy in that way. We knew that we agreed on the big questions.
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We got that stuff out of the way and we loved hanging out with each other. So that is my recipe
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for a long-lasting relationship. Chemistry and compatibility. And if you've dated your chemistry
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guy and your compatibility guy, when you meet the right guy, when you meet the right person,
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you will know because you have experienced both sides of the spectrum and the right guy is right in
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the middle. So I hope you guys enjoyed today's video. This is one of my absolute favorite topics to
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talk about. I've had a lot of friends in the past who have talked to me about their experience with
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their chemistry guy. Usually the chemistry guy is the hardest because that's the one where you feel
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like you have met the perfect person, but nothing is actually settled because the compatibility is so
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off. And I think that this is something that is so worth talking about and needs to be talked about
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more in our dating culture. So let me know in the comments what you guys think. I'd love to hear.
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