Classically Abby - Ladies, Your Bodies WILL Change. That's FEMININE. Here's Why.

00:00:00.000 so now let's get into the main portion of today's episode which is five ways you are fighting your

00:00:05.860 femininity we live in a world where being feminine is relegated to silly outward appearance things 1.00

00:00:16.020 but also more than that it it's just not valued in the same way and i think that there's a lot

00:00:24.540 of things we can do to embrace our femininity right but not just embrace it stop fighting it so i'm

00:00:31.220 excited to share these five things with you let's just get started so number one is not accepting

00:00:37.100 your changing body i say this as a postpartum mom uh i'm 10 months postpartum and my body looks

00:00:45.300 entirely different than it did before i had a baby and i don't know that it will ever look

00:00:51.520 the same and i'm not just talking about weight gain weight loss whatever it is i'm talking about

00:00:57.620 structurally my body is different my hips are wider my waist is a little thicker my stomach has stretch

00:01:05.560 marks on it i have loose skin from carrying a baby and it's an interesting thing because we live

00:01:14.140 in a day where we're constantly fighting for what we used to look like right we're always like

00:01:22.440 looking back to okay i want to look the same as i did when i was 16 i want to look the same as i did

00:01:27.940 before i had a baby i want to look the same as i did before i had my second baby and the truth is that

00:01:32.660 women the feminine figure was meant to shift and change even before you know having children 1.00

00:01:40.980 throughout the month your body changes throughout the month around your period your body will change

00:01:47.740 because of hormonal shifts right men's bodies don't change men's bodies stick one way their whole lives

00:01:55.600 if men choose to you know not take care of themselves then you know they'll gain weight or

00:02:02.900 whatever else it is but men's bodies do not react hormonally the same way that women's do women's

00:02:09.420 bodies are not supposed to stay the same we are not supposed to look exactly the way we did before

00:02:16.120 we had children after we have children we are going to lose weight we are going to gain weight we are

00:02:21.680 going to have looser skin we're going to have stretch marks we're going to have you know our our bodies

00:02:28.060 our our our structure our skeletal structure is going to change after we birth children fighting femininity 0.98

00:02:36.440 fighting your body is telling yourself that you need to look exactly the same as you did all your

00:02:45.680 whole life and it's just not realistic your body is going to change and it should change that is part

00:02:54.080 of being a woman the fact that our bodies can change to host a human being is incredible

00:03:01.540 we we love on our bodies so much i think most women do not every woman but most women do we love on our

00:03:07.840 body so much for the fact that we can get pregnant and grow a human and our bodies can house a little

00:03:16.260 baby and our stomach stretch we love that our bodies are flexible enough to do that but then we're like

00:03:21.900 bounce back bounce back bounce back i think it's important to exercise to stay healthy to eat well i think

00:03:30.820 that's all really important because taking care of yourself is important and there is a certain

00:03:37.340 level of when you take care of yourself then your body responds in kind aka it looks better when you

00:03:43.640 take care of yourself but is it going to look the same no and i think the expectation that our bodies

00:03:50.160 should remain the same throughout our entire lives means you're fighting your femininity so that's 0.98

00:03:56.940 number one number two is fighting your nurturing nature when we are told to have sex with no strings

00:04:07.720 attached to sleep around and not get catch feelings things like that and and there's other examples i'm

00:04:17.140 going to share here but things like that are fighting our nurturing nature one of the most beautiful parts

00:04:22.940 of being feminine is that we are so nurturing that we want to take care of people that we want to 0.97

00:04:28.080 give them a warm and loving home and fighting that by trying to say i'm not going to give of myself to

00:04:40.380 someone else right let's say in a sexual relationship in a physical relationship is so wrong there's a reason

00:04:47.600 that saving sex until marriage is so beautiful because that nurturing nature where you want to

00:04:54.060 take care of the person that you are sharing that intimacy with is a perfect place to do it you're

00:05:02.340 supposed to do that that nurturing nature can come out and should come out and in kind your husband wants

00:05:08.280 to take care of you it's so important for us to hold that nurturing nature close because otherwise

00:05:16.960 we let it go and a woman who doesn't nurture starts to lose a little bit of herself now another version 1.00

00:05:26.260 of this is when we become harsh disciplinarians or harsh spreader of truths now to be clear i think that

00:05:37.220 there are times that it is a lot of fun to be a little bit more strident a little bit more brash

00:05:42.000 in the way that we uh talk about ideas uh if you follow me on instagram if you watch my reels you will

00:05:48.120 know that i do that with with that content i think that it's funny but the truth is when i'm really trying

00:05:54.140 to change people's minds when i'm really trying to give some guidance it has to be gentle it has to be

00:06:00.580 nurturing it's so easy to kind of want to cross over into that like here's what it is and i'm telling

00:06:07.700 you what to do and i'm going to be harsh and i'm going to be a disciplinarian and i'm going to

00:06:11.880 be bossy or whatever else it is but it is much more effective when we lean into that nurturing nature and

00:06:20.580 we use our gentle guidance to help impart wisdom impart ideas impart help i i know that even in as a

00:06:33.060 mother it is unnatural for me to really discipline harshly my son when i come to him in a loving kind

00:06:44.040 nurturing way first of all he responds better but second of all i can feel that i feel pride in my

00:06:52.960 mothering in those moments so don't fight that nurturing nature embrace it because that is a huge

00:07:01.260 part of your femininity number three is embracing hustle culture rather than slow living guys i am i am

00:07:12.040 over hustle culture i am over it i don't like it it's not my thing uh i am much more for slow living

00:07:20.800 now i know that slow living can make a lot of people like pause and not really understand and think that

00:07:28.940 you're saying they have to quit their jobs and stay at home all the time and never do anything that's

00:07:34.440 really like stressful that's not what i mean i just mean being intentional enjoying

00:07:41.900 your everyday taking time in those pockets that you have it to not be stressed and not searching

00:07:49.860 out stress in the moments you don't have to aka i have had many moments where i have a few minutes

00:07:56.000 just to spare and instead of taking advantage of them in a positive gentle way and thinking oh you know

00:08:03.360 i have a couple minutes maybe i'll read or maybe i'll play with my son i'll be like what else do i have

00:08:08.380 to do i need to find something to do i get really urgent about it that to me is more of a hustle

00:08:14.040 culture perspective of i need to constantly be busy i need to constantly be producing i need to

00:08:20.220 constantly be doing something very hectic it's much more feminine to embrace slow living 0.99

00:08:30.040 to cook something take an extra 20 minutes and cook something tastier rather than faster

00:08:37.500 to sit with your baby and play for 15 minutes just directed attention rather than giving him

00:08:45.340 two minutes and then running around to clean your house it's so important to lean into this life that

00:08:53.600 we have and rushing constantly feeling rushed life is short but it's also long and it's important to us

00:09:04.480 for us to take advantage of each and every moment and enjoy it and when you're rushing

00:09:11.580 to get things done all the time and you like need to be busy you're also rushing time like you will get to

00:09:19.900 the end of the day and feel like that that your day was just like hectic and it just passed you by

00:09:25.240 and you were running around as opposed to maybe half of your day is like that and the other half of your

00:09:31.700 day you get to the end you're like wow that was really a nice luxurious day i wish for all of us

00:09:39.420 that our time feels luxurious and that doesn't mean 100 of the time but even those small pockets of

00:09:47.740 time that you really allow yourself to just take things easy or to invest in a project that's that's

00:09:57.900 fun and and immersive it's it's so feminine it's so important i think start with cooking that's an easy 0.68

00:10:08.140 place to start cooking doesn't always have to be two steps one and done like it can be a thing that you

00:10:15.880 follow the recipe and enjoy like choose something that's just a little bit more complicated a little

00:10:21.100 bit it doesn't have to be a full day project but maybe something that you've never done before the

00:10:25.640 other night i made a spaghetti squash and i'd never made spaghetti squash before and i made a bolognese

00:10:32.580 sauce that from scratch like i didn't just pour marinara sauce from a from a bottle into the pan i made

00:10:40.680 one from scratch and just those two things added maybe 15 minutes to the whole process but it made

00:10:45.660 it feel so much more luxurious to me and i i really enjoyed the process so embrace slow living and reject

00:10:55.800 hustle culture number four the fourth way you are fighting your femininity is wearing only loungewear 1.00

00:11:04.520 i know that sounds funny but we are in the era of athleisure that is the fashion of today most people

00:11:14.400 wear leggings and a sweatshirt every single day and wearing pretty clothing that makes you feel good

00:11:21.360 is feminine wearing pretty clothing that accentuates your figure in a modest way that's so feminine 0.82

00:11:28.120 constantly covering yourself and what's comfortable or what's easy or things that really disguise your

00:11:35.720 figure disguise your body it just it takes away one of the the really beautiful elements of womanhood

00:11:43.640 and that's not to say that you have to dress fancy or that you have to like really think hard every day

00:11:49.340 about your outfit but it means taking a moment picking something from your closet that really speaks to you

00:11:56.440 that you really love that expresses your personality that makes you feel good in your body and that looks

00:12:02.860 different for everybody i had sarah therese on on my podcast a couple episodes ago and she dresses not

00:12:09.120 totally different from me because both of us actually there are some overlap but she dresses in a way

00:12:14.460 that is not typically feminine but makes her feel like a woman right like she feels really good in her

00:12:22.160 figure she feels really good in her body i'm not speaking for her but i think that that's true i think

00:12:27.680 she's kind of given that across on her instagram and wearing just the same pair of baggy pants and the 0.79

00:12:37.120 same baggy sweatshirt and whatever every single day it just takes away from the beauty of our figures the

00:12:44.000 beauty of the bodies god gave us and the beauty of expressing ourselves through our clothing style is a really

00:12:51.520 fun way to express your personality and i always say it skips the first step of trying to show someone

00:12:59.400 who you are when they can kind of tell who you are through your clothes so number four is wearing only

00:13:07.440 loungewear fights your femininity so stop doing that start wearing beautiful clothing and clothing

00:13:13.620 that makes you feel good number five is sinking into social media that's one of the ways you're fighting

00:13:21.000 your femininity femininity femininity calls for socialization and being an active member of your

00:13:26.920 community social media makes you feel like you're doing that but really you're sequestering yourself

00:13:33.240 behind a screen the most dangerous things in life are the things that make you think you're doing

00:13:39.680 something positive so you invest your time and energy into it but really are a waste of your time

00:13:44.880 another example often for men is video games now i'm not like anti-all video games i think there are

00:13:51.880 certain scenarios when you're playing with your friends when it is a social activity that can be

00:13:56.580 fine but a lot of video gaming is about pursuit of a goal and so you'll play until you get that goal

00:14:07.180 but really there's no goal to be had in beating a video game right it's not really useful

00:14:13.360 the same as social media social media feels like you're socializing it's called social media oh i'm

00:14:20.200 talking to my friends i'm keeping in touch with people i'm following along with their lives the truth

00:14:27.420 is that the advent of social media has actually ruined a lot of relationships it keeps you kind of in

00:14:36.680 touch on the very fringes of your mind at all times but you're not actually in touch

00:14:43.320 like when is the last time you spoke to the people that you follow on social media actually called them

00:14:48.580 on the phone or saw them in person and got coffee not very often it's probably pretty rare

00:14:55.240 so social media takes away that impetus of us for as women to be really active community members 0.98

00:15:02.280 and active parts of our social groups there's something wonderful about having a book club in

00:15:07.540 person or on my sub stack for example or being a part of your synagogues community or your church's

00:15:14.880 community it's so important and it it makes you one of the things i always say is important about

00:15:22.100 femininity is being strong enough that people can depend on you and that is one of the most core

00:15:27.040 things about being a good community member so if you are not available for that because

00:15:33.960 you're too active on social media and i say this to myself as much as anyone else you are fighting

00:15:39.940 your femininity and it's not worth it it's so much better to be a part of your pta or to be somebody who 0.93

00:15:49.000 is helping your community grow and be better with your involvement as a woman it really makes a difference

00:15:56.680 so those are my five ways you are fighting your femininity let me know what you guys think i always 0.63

00:16:04.100 love to hear your thoughts

00:16:05.140 so

Classically Abby - February 16, 2023

Ladies, Your Bodies WILL Change. That's FEMININE. Here's Why.

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