Ladies, Your Bodies WILL Change. That's FEMININE. Here's Why.
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Summary
In this episode, I share 5 ways you are fighting your femininity. We live in a world where being feminine is relegated to silly outward appearance things, but also more than that it is not valued in the same way as being feminine. And I think that there are a lot of things we can do to embrace our femininity right but not just embrace it but to stop fighting it.
Transcript
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so now let's get into the main portion of today's episode which is five ways you are fighting your
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femininity we live in a world where being feminine is relegated to silly outward appearance things
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but also more than that it it's just not valued in the same way and i think that there's a lot
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of things we can do to embrace our femininity right but not just embrace it stop fighting it so i'm
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excited to share these five things with you let's just get started so number one is not accepting
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your changing body i say this as a postpartum mom uh i'm 10 months postpartum and my body looks
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entirely different than it did before i had a baby and i don't know that it will ever look
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the same and i'm not just talking about weight gain weight loss whatever it is i'm talking about
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structurally my body is different my hips are wider my waist is a little thicker my stomach has stretch
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marks on it i have loose skin from carrying a baby and it's an interesting thing because we live
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in a day where we're constantly fighting for what we used to look like right we're always like
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looking back to okay i want to look the same as i did when i was 16 i want to look the same as i did
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before i had a baby i want to look the same as i did before i had my second baby and the truth is that
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women the feminine figure was meant to shift and change even before you know having children
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throughout the month your body changes throughout the month around your period your body will change
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because of hormonal shifts right men's bodies don't change men's bodies stick one way their whole lives
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if men choose to you know not take care of themselves then you know they'll gain weight or
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whatever else it is but men's bodies do not react hormonally the same way that women's do women's
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bodies are not supposed to stay the same we are not supposed to look exactly the way we did before
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we had children after we have children we are going to lose weight we are going to gain weight we are
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going to have looser skin we're going to have stretch marks we're going to have you know our our bodies
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our our our structure our skeletal structure is going to change after we birth children fighting femininity
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fighting your body is telling yourself that you need to look exactly the same as you did all your
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whole life and it's just not realistic your body is going to change and it should change that is part
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of being a woman the fact that our bodies can change to host a human being is incredible
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we we love on our bodies so much i think most women do not every woman but most women do we love on our
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body so much for the fact that we can get pregnant and grow a human and our bodies can house a little
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baby and our stomach stretch we love that our bodies are flexible enough to do that but then we're like
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bounce back bounce back bounce back i think it's important to exercise to stay healthy to eat well i think
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that's all really important because taking care of yourself is important and there is a certain
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level of when you take care of yourself then your body responds in kind aka it looks better when you
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take care of yourself but is it going to look the same no and i think the expectation that our bodies
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should remain the same throughout our entire lives means you're fighting your femininity so that's
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number one number two is fighting your nurturing nature when we are told to have sex with no strings
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attached to sleep around and not get catch feelings things like that and and there's other examples i'm
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going to share here but things like that are fighting our nurturing nature one of the most beautiful parts
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of being feminine is that we are so nurturing that we want to take care of people that we want to
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give them a warm and loving home and fighting that by trying to say i'm not going to give of myself to
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someone else right let's say in a sexual relationship in a physical relationship is so wrong there's a reason
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that saving sex until marriage is so beautiful because that nurturing nature where you want to
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take care of the person that you are sharing that intimacy with is a perfect place to do it you're
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supposed to do that that nurturing nature can come out and should come out and in kind your husband wants
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to take care of you it's so important for us to hold that nurturing nature close because otherwise
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we let it go and a woman who doesn't nurture starts to lose a little bit of herself now another version
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of this is when we become harsh disciplinarians or harsh spreader of truths now to be clear i think that
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there are times that it is a lot of fun to be a little bit more strident a little bit more brash
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in the way that we uh talk about ideas uh if you follow me on instagram if you watch my reels you will
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know that i do that with with that content i think that it's funny but the truth is when i'm really trying
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to change people's minds when i'm really trying to give some guidance it has to be gentle it has to be
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nurturing it's so easy to kind of want to cross over into that like here's what it is and i'm telling
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you what to do and i'm going to be harsh and i'm going to be a disciplinarian and i'm going to
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be bossy or whatever else it is but it is much more effective when we lean into that nurturing nature and
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we use our gentle guidance to help impart wisdom impart ideas impart help i i know that even in as a
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mother it is unnatural for me to really discipline harshly my son when i come to him in a loving kind
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nurturing way first of all he responds better but second of all i can feel that i feel pride in my
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mothering in those moments so don't fight that nurturing nature embrace it because that is a huge
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part of your femininity number three is embracing hustle culture rather than slow living guys i am i am
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over hustle culture i am over it i don't like it it's not my thing uh i am much more for slow living
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now i know that slow living can make a lot of people like pause and not really understand and think that
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you're saying they have to quit their jobs and stay at home all the time and never do anything that's
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really like stressful that's not what i mean i just mean being intentional enjoying
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your everyday taking time in those pockets that you have it to not be stressed and not searching
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out stress in the moments you don't have to aka i have had many moments where i have a few minutes
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just to spare and instead of taking advantage of them in a positive gentle way and thinking oh you know
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i have a couple minutes maybe i'll read or maybe i'll play with my son i'll be like what else do i have
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to do i need to find something to do i get really urgent about it that to me is more of a hustle
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culture perspective of i need to constantly be busy i need to constantly be producing i need to
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constantly be doing something very hectic it's much more feminine to embrace slow living
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to cook something take an extra 20 minutes and cook something tastier rather than faster
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to sit with your baby and play for 15 minutes just directed attention rather than giving him
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two minutes and then running around to clean your house it's so important to lean into this life that
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we have and rushing constantly feeling rushed life is short but it's also long and it's important to us
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for us to take advantage of each and every moment and enjoy it and when you're rushing
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to get things done all the time and you like need to be busy you're also rushing time like you will get to
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the end of the day and feel like that that your day was just like hectic and it just passed you by
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and you were running around as opposed to maybe half of your day is like that and the other half of your
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day you get to the end you're like wow that was really a nice luxurious day i wish for all of us
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that our time feels luxurious and that doesn't mean 100 of the time but even those small pockets of
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time that you really allow yourself to just take things easy or to invest in a project that's that's
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fun and and immersive it's it's so feminine it's so important i think start with cooking that's an easy
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place to start cooking doesn't always have to be two steps one and done like it can be a thing that you
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follow the recipe and enjoy like choose something that's just a little bit more complicated a little
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bit it doesn't have to be a full day project but maybe something that you've never done before the
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other night i made a spaghetti squash and i'd never made spaghetti squash before and i made a bolognese
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sauce that from scratch like i didn't just pour marinara sauce from a from a bottle into the pan i made
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one from scratch and just those two things added maybe 15 minutes to the whole process but it made
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it feel so much more luxurious to me and i i really enjoyed the process so embrace slow living and reject
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hustle culture number four the fourth way you are fighting your femininity is wearing only loungewear
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i know that sounds funny but we are in the era of athleisure that is the fashion of today most people
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wear leggings and a sweatshirt every single day and wearing pretty clothing that makes you feel good
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is feminine wearing pretty clothing that accentuates your figure in a modest way that's so feminine
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constantly covering yourself and what's comfortable or what's easy or things that really disguise your
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figure disguise your body it just it takes away one of the the really beautiful elements of womanhood
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and that's not to say that you have to dress fancy or that you have to like really think hard every day
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about your outfit but it means taking a moment picking something from your closet that really speaks to you
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that you really love that expresses your personality that makes you feel good in your body and that looks
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different for everybody i had sarah therese on on my podcast a couple episodes ago and she dresses not
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totally different from me because both of us actually there are some overlap but she dresses in a way
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that is not typically feminine but makes her feel like a woman right like she feels really good in her
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figure she feels really good in her body i'm not speaking for her but i think that that's true i think
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she's kind of given that across on her instagram and wearing just the same pair of baggy pants and the
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same baggy sweatshirt and whatever every single day it just takes away from the beauty of our figures the
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beauty of the bodies god gave us and the beauty of expressing ourselves through our clothing style is a really
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fun way to express your personality and i always say it skips the first step of trying to show someone
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who you are when they can kind of tell who you are through your clothes so number four is wearing only
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loungewear fights your femininity so stop doing that start wearing beautiful clothing and clothing
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that makes you feel good number five is sinking into social media that's one of the ways you're fighting
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your femininity femininity femininity calls for socialization and being an active member of your
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community social media makes you feel like you're doing that but really you're sequestering yourself
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behind a screen the most dangerous things in life are the things that make you think you're doing
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something positive so you invest your time and energy into it but really are a waste of your time
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another example often for men is video games now i'm not like anti-all video games i think there are
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certain scenarios when you're playing with your friends when it is a social activity that can be
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fine but a lot of video gaming is about pursuit of a goal and so you'll play until you get that goal
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but really there's no goal to be had in beating a video game right it's not really useful
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the same as social media social media feels like you're socializing it's called social media oh i'm
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talking to my friends i'm keeping in touch with people i'm following along with their lives the truth
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is that the advent of social media has actually ruined a lot of relationships it keeps you kind of in
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touch on the very fringes of your mind at all times but you're not actually in touch
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like when is the last time you spoke to the people that you follow on social media actually called them
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on the phone or saw them in person and got coffee not very often it's probably pretty rare
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so social media takes away that impetus of us for as women to be really active community members
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and active parts of our social groups there's something wonderful about having a book club in
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person or on my sub stack for example or being a part of your synagogues community or your church's
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community it's so important and it it makes you one of the things i always say is important about
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femininity is being strong enough that people can depend on you and that is one of the most core
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things about being a good community member so if you are not available for that because
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you're too active on social media and i say this to myself as much as anyone else you are fighting
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your femininity and it's not worth it it's so much better to be a part of your pta or to be somebody who
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is helping your community grow and be better with your involvement as a woman it really makes a difference
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so those are my five ways you are fighting your femininity let me know what you guys think i always
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