Classically Abby - June 24, 2021


Liz Wheeler Talks About Her PREGNANCY And NEW PODCAST || Interviewing Liz Wheeler!


Episode Stats

Length

51 minutes

Words per Minute

195.84668

Word Count

10,135

Sentence Count

675

Misogynist Sentences

23

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary

Liz Wheeler is a political commentator, author, and podcast host. She is also the author of the book, Tipping Points: How to Topple the Left's House of Cards. She recently launched her brand new podcast, The Liz Wheeler Show, and it was such fun having her on to interview her.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 We had struggled to get pregnant for several years.
00:00:04.160 I had lost our first baby, which, as you know, is just heart-rending, devastating.
00:00:09.620 Nothing can possibly prepare you for that.
00:00:12.560 So I was so grateful.
00:00:14.320 I had prayed for so—my husband and I had prayed for so many years to get pregnant.
00:00:19.280 So when it finally happened with our daughter, I mean, I was overjoyed.
00:00:24.440 I was so grateful.
00:00:25.340 And I understand the blessing of that, but it also is coupled with the practicality of it was not enjoyable.
00:00:38.040 Hello, Classic crew, and welcome to today's episode of Let's Be Classic, where I'm interviewing Liz Wheeler.
00:00:45.020 Liz Wheeler is a political commentator, author, and podcast host.
00:00:49.120 You may know her from her time on One America News Network's Tipping Point with Liz Wheeler.
00:00:54.140 And she's also the author of the book, Tipping Points, How to Topple the Left's House of Cards.
00:00:59.800 She recently launched her brand-new podcast, The Liz Wheeler Show, and it was such fun having her on to interview her.
00:01:07.240 She's such a great guest, and we had such a good time just chatting.
00:01:10.860 She and I are actually friends off the air, so it was nice to talk to her for you guys with the purpose of introducing her to my audience,
00:01:18.720 if you didn't already know her.
00:01:19.780 Or if you do know her, now you'll get to know her on an even more personal level.
00:01:24.000 Before we get started, make sure that you're subscribed to my channel and hit that notification bell so that you can always see when I post videos just like this.
00:01:31.680 I'd also love if you would consider subscribing to my Substack newsletter, where you'll get access to exclusive content and not available anywhere else.
00:01:39.240 And I just want to quickly mention that my summer jewelry collection is now on sale, and the pre-sale actually ends this Friday, June 25th.
00:01:47.180 So if you want to get the awesome sale price on the whole collection, you'll have to get it today or tomorrow or on Friday.
00:01:54.540 So now, let's get into it.
00:01:56.220 So, thank you so much for coming on my channel today.
00:01:59.660 I'm so excited that you're here.
00:02:01.260 Abby, thanks so much for having me.
00:02:04.040 It's funny, actually, because we have this type of conversation all the time.
00:02:07.420 Personally, it's funny to do it on camera.
00:02:09.080 I know.
00:02:09.600 It is really funny.
00:02:10.580 I mean, I just enjoy talking to you, and I've talked to you on a personal level so much that it's really fun to do this in a way where it's like for people, for an audience.
00:02:20.780 Yeah, both of us actually wearing hair and makeup to have a conversation.
00:02:24.580 Exactly.
00:02:25.100 And I'm not folding laundry.
00:02:27.180 Yeah.
00:02:27.440 So I wanted to start off by talking about your new podcast, which you just recently launched, The Liz Wheeler Show.
00:02:38.100 Can you tell us about it, and how did you know you wanted to start a podcast?
00:02:43.140 Yeah, definitely.
00:02:44.240 We just completed our fourth week of it.
00:02:46.220 It's hard to believe that we've been doing it for a month already, and it's so much fun.
00:02:50.340 One of the things that drew me to the video podcast format is I wanted a more personal connection with my audience that you don't get with the formality of cable news, as fun as that venue is, too.
00:03:01.560 But I wanted a more personal connection with my audience, and so far, that's come to fruition through this podcast.
00:03:08.580 So I can keep my trademark research and facts and present in sort of an unapologetic, let's go after the radical left way, but it's also more of a conversation with people where I can explain my thought process and show the research, show how I come to an opinion versus just presenting the news while putting a little opinion in there here and there.
00:03:31.040 So it's been really fun.
00:03:32.420 It also helps us, because it's my show and I can do it my way, it helps us get around big tech censorship that can be a problem, and we are dealing with that, by the way.
00:03:42.560 And it also helps us get around any kind of corporate wokeism, if you will, any kind of control of cable news networks that can sometimes be non-ideal for conservative commentators.
00:03:54.440 So going independent is really, right now, it's the best of all worlds.
00:03:57.960 It's a blast.
00:03:58.600 Yeah, I mean, you know that I love doing it.
00:04:01.160 I love having my YouTube channel and running my own channel.
00:04:04.940 It makes a huge difference when you get to be in control of your content and you get that really special relationship with your audience.
00:04:13.960 Yeah, definitely.
00:04:14.980 And as we say off the air, neither of us really like having bosses.
00:04:19.380 And I mean, I have been loving your podcast.
00:04:23.040 Everyone needs to go check her out.
00:04:24.860 It's going to be in the description box.
00:04:26.700 So I'll mention that again at the end, but I needed to say it now because I've been loving listening.
00:04:32.000 So I wanted to talk about you've been in politics a really long time.
00:04:36.260 So can you share how you got started as a commentator?
00:04:40.700 Yeah, definitely.
00:04:41.560 And it's weird to think that I've been involved in something a long time since I'm only 31.
00:04:45.940 But I got involved in politics in late high school, actually.
00:04:49.420 I was raised in a conservative Catholic Christian family.
00:04:52.960 So my parents were open with us about the way that they voted and what their political beliefs were.
00:04:57.040 But it wasn't something that I took part in.
00:04:59.700 We weren't going to rallies or being involved in any kind of activism as a child.
00:05:05.100 But around late high school, when it was actually 2007, I think, when Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were battling it out for the Democratic primary, I started paying a lot closer of attention.
00:05:15.880 And I realized that I really liked the kind of argumentative politics.
00:05:20.260 Plus, it meant something to me.
00:05:22.380 It meant something to me to see these people arguing about policies that would impact my personal life, right?
00:05:28.560 And so I really got involved in politics.
00:05:31.340 I started watching everything that was going on.
00:05:33.380 I started reading as much as possible.
00:05:35.580 And the reading predated the involvement in politics.
00:05:38.280 But I started reading everything political that I could get my hands on.
00:05:41.180 I joined Twitter at that time.
00:05:43.340 This was when political Twitter was in its infancy.
00:05:46.720 So very, very much different than it is now.
00:05:49.280 But it was a way back then to get involved in conversations with political thought leaders because it was such a small community at the time that you could talk to prominent figures and discuss and debate different policy topics.
00:06:04.520 And you could actually be seen and heard because it was smaller.
00:06:08.160 It's great now.
00:06:09.120 It was very different back then.
00:06:10.280 And so that's really when I got involved.
00:06:13.520 And it just snowballed from there.
00:06:14.780 I loved it.
00:06:15.160 So I kept going.
00:06:16.500 Yeah, I love what you do because you are such a firebrand.
00:06:20.240 And you have such strong opinions.
00:06:22.480 But it's really backed up by the research that you do.
00:06:25.660 And that's, I think, a unique quality because you can see many.
00:06:30.080 I mean, this is female and male commentators who don't know a lot.
00:06:34.000 But we'll necessarily then be very like, this is what I think.
00:06:38.040 And it's nice to see somebody take these really strong stands and also really know what you're talking about.
00:06:44.940 Well, that's basically, I appreciate that because that's basically the highest compliment that you can pay to me because that's what I try to do.
00:06:51.520 I try not to be just a propagator of talking points.
00:06:55.660 I try not to say, this is the right side.
00:06:58.120 This is the talking point.
00:06:59.540 And believe it because I say it.
00:07:01.180 I really don't want to be that person.
00:07:02.900 I want to say, well, listen, this is the worldview that I see the world from.
00:07:07.300 This is the reason I've taken this principled position.
00:07:10.080 And this is how that principle applies to practical policy.
00:07:13.300 So I try to walk people through why I believe what I believe.
00:07:16.720 And I certainly don't form opinions just based on party allegiance.
00:07:20.360 I form opinions or I form party allegiance based on the fact that we agree on policy.
00:07:26.180 So policy and principle come first.
00:07:28.880 Political allegiance comes second.
00:07:30.940 And allegiance to politicians just doesn't exist.
00:07:34.580 I think that's a good policy on its own.
00:07:38.020 So for my audience, what piece of advice can you offer to them if they want to be more vocal about being conservative?
00:07:50.740 Sure.
00:07:51.360 So the best piece of advice is make sure that you know what you're talking about.
00:07:54.480 Don't just jump in the ring and try to be another loud voice.
00:07:57.780 Try to get retweets or clicks or get in arguments when you really don't know the facts.
00:08:03.340 So before you get to the fun part, I guess, do your research.
00:08:06.940 And I don't just mean read an article and look up a fact.
00:08:09.680 Read as many books as possible.
00:08:11.340 Study political philosophy.
00:08:12.820 Study history.
00:08:14.120 Study, you know, everything that's happened so far in our nation's brief history to see the ramifications and the consequences of the different types of policies that we've already tried.
00:08:23.680 Look around the world and study that same thing.
00:08:26.080 I mean, in the decade, in the past decade and a half, I've read as many books as I can get my hands on.
00:08:31.100 I'm sure there's people out there who've read more than me.
00:08:33.200 But it's really been amazing to see how sometimes years down the line, after I've read a particular book or studied a particular era of history, years down the line, I'll be like, oh, that's right.
00:08:44.780 I read about that.
00:08:45.880 We've tried that already in some other country or in some other era, and some president had already done it, and this is how it turned out.
00:08:52.940 So why would we repeat that now?
00:08:55.380 So really study what you want to talk about before you talk, and then join Twitter.
00:09:01.520 Get involved in the conversation there.
00:09:03.020 Anybody can take part in that.
00:09:04.200 You can start debating with liberals.
00:09:06.200 You can, you know, put your own opinion out there.
00:09:08.700 Start writing op-eds.
00:09:09.780 Submit them to blogs and independent websites, and just get involved.
00:09:14.120 If you want to get involved, just do it.
00:09:16.620 Yeah, I love that.
00:09:17.660 I love the idea that exactly how you live your life, it is most important to know what you're talking about before.
00:09:24.640 I think that we often get kind of caught up nowadays in the idea of getting involved in the fight, and just being involved at all is taking a good stand, and that's not correct.
00:09:34.260 I mean, you have to take, you have to know what you're talking about before you take a stand.
00:09:37.880 And then on top of that, it's really good advice to just, you know, get involved.
00:09:42.880 Start, because so much of what we are able to do nowadays and get involved with is free.
00:09:50.820 It's all on the Internet.
00:09:52.560 So Twitter is free.
00:09:54.060 YouTube is free.
00:09:55.140 The places that you want to submit your articles to, there's no fee for you to pay if you want to submit an article or start a blog.
00:10:02.400 I mean, all that stuff is free to you.
00:10:04.500 So it's really up to you to take that first step.
00:10:08.080 Right, and it also translates into activism in your community, too.
00:10:12.700 If you feel called to run for school board or city council or mayor or state representative, if you feel called to join an organization, say a pro-life organization or your local Republican Party, and door knock and talk to people,
00:10:24.820 all the experience that you've gotten from reading, learning about what policy topics that you're talking about or practicing these debate things on Twitter, that's going to translate into in-person, in-person activism and in-person participation as well.
00:10:38.340 And we always need good, solid, principled conservatives to be involved in the public aspects of life as well, not just punditry.
00:10:45.320 Absolutely.
00:10:45.700 So moving on to motherhood, you're a new mom.
00:10:50.860 How has it been being a new mom to your beautiful daughter?
00:10:55.760 It's been everything cliche that people say that it is.
00:10:59.880 I love this little girl with my whole heart.
00:11:02.480 It's amazing how obsessed you are from the moment you get that squirmy little bundle in your arms.
00:11:07.920 It's absolutely incredible.
00:11:09.880 Also, the sleep deficit, that stuff is real.
00:11:13.820 But it's amazing.
00:11:15.140 I love being her mom.
00:11:15.920 It's my favorite thing.
00:11:16.880 It's changed my outlook on life.
00:11:18.960 Yeah, I can.
00:11:20.040 I mean, I've seen your little girl.
00:11:22.520 She's beautiful.
00:11:23.880 She's adorable.
00:11:25.320 And I think you are going to be, I mean, you are the most amazing mom, just seeing the way that you like, you know, hold her and love her.
00:11:31.900 It's just the best.
00:11:33.840 Well, thank you.
00:11:34.620 Thank you.
00:11:35.040 I hope so.
00:11:35.660 I mean, she's going to be five months next week.
00:11:38.560 So she's at a pretty, yeah, she just learned to roll over.
00:11:42.420 She's developing a little attitude where she tells us when she wants what she wants.
00:11:47.620 It's a delight to get to know her.
00:11:49.940 That's actually been probably the most fun is just seeing her little personality develop and see her become a part of our family.
00:11:56.420 It's a gift from God.
00:11:57.880 It truly is.
00:11:58.700 Yeah.
00:11:59.080 And what was pregnancy like for you?
00:12:02.340 Oh, I did not enjoy pregnancy one bit from start to finish.
00:12:05.960 And let me caveat that by saying we had struggled to get pregnant for several years.
00:12:12.780 I had lost our first baby, which, as you know, is just heart-rending, devastating.
00:12:18.240 Nothing can possibly prepare you for that.
00:12:20.340 But, um, so I was so grateful.
00:12:22.920 I had prayed for so—my husband and I had prayed for so many years to get pregnant.
00:12:27.720 So when I—when it finally happened with our daughter, I mean, I was overjoyed.
00:12:33.080 I was so grateful.
00:12:33.960 And I understand the blessing of that.
00:12:35.980 But it also is coupled with the practicality of it was not enjoyable.
00:12:40.800 I had hyperemesis gravidarum, which, yes, you're familiar with that.
00:12:45.500 Probably most of our viewers are.
00:12:46.880 But colloquially, it's the barfing disease that Kate Middleton had when she was pregnant, where you vomit dozens of times a day.
00:12:54.160 You're sicker than when you have food poisoning and the flu for about the first 25 weeks of pregnancy.
00:12:59.320 So that was pretty rough, um, not gonna lie.
00:13:03.340 And then the second half of pregnancy is just very, very uncomfortable, especially for someone I think as small as I am.
00:13:09.980 I—my baby was not a small baby.
00:13:12.000 She was 8 pounds, 4 ounces.
00:13:14.740 Wow.
00:13:15.100 And I started pregnancy at about 105 pounds.
00:13:18.820 So, um, it—it wasn't that enjoyable.
00:13:22.120 It was amazing, though, when she got big enough that I could feel her inside.
00:13:26.100 That—I would just sit there.
00:13:27.660 I would just sit there for hours just watching my—watching my stomach shape-shift, watch her flip—or feeling her flip around in there.
00:13:34.900 It was amazing.
00:13:35.680 Yeah.
00:13:36.180 I think that's so cool.
00:13:37.140 And I think that it's really important to talk about that pregnancy isn't the easiest thing because pregnancy doesn't have to be easy for it to be worth it.
00:13:45.380 And I think there's this misconception that, you know, if you are pro-life, then that must mean that you think all pregnancies are just simple and easy and nice.
00:13:55.180 But that's not the case.
00:13:56.400 Like, they're not—there's not a—a relation between how comfortable pregnancy is and how worthy a person is of being alive and being born.
00:14:04.460 Oh, absolutely.
00:14:06.540 I mean, I think a lot of women probably feel guilty saying, well, I didn't really enjoy pregnancy because they think, oh, maybe that's—that—maybe that would be something personal against the baby.
00:14:14.380 Absolutely not.
00:14:15.060 I mean, it's just impracticality.
00:14:16.680 Some women I know it's very comfortable for.
00:14:18.320 They don't mind it.
00:14:18.940 They enjoy it.
00:14:19.900 I don't understand that.
00:14:20.880 I wish that were the case, I guess.
00:14:23.200 But I viewed it just as part of the sacrificial love.
00:14:25.560 Like, by the time this little girl was born, by the time I gave birth to her, I had already poured so much love into her that we were entirely bonded, not just because she'd been in my body, but because day in and day out, I was sacrificing out of love for her.
00:14:39.160 And so that's how I viewed it.
00:14:40.980 I didn't—I didn't feel bad for not enjoying the practicalities of it.
00:14:44.280 I just thought, listen, this is—this is the active part of love, the part where, yeah, you feel it in your heart, but it's also a choice and a behavior that, you know, that you're faced with every single day.
00:14:54.000 And I—I mean, I would do it all again for her.
00:14:56.500 Yeah.
00:14:56.980 No, I—I think that's—I think that's so important, and I—I'm glad you talked about it.
00:15:01.180 So are there any books on either pregnancy or motherhood that you would recommend for somebody who wants to be pregnant, who is pregnant, who's a mom, any of those things?
00:15:11.360 Well, the two books I think that I found the most helpful—and believe it or not, I know I—this is a little contradictory because I just said that you should read as much as possible about what you want to know about and know what you're talking about.
00:15:23.120 I personally was so anxious the first trimester of pregnancy because I had lost before.
00:15:28.240 I had a hard time studying and reading anything about it.
00:15:31.520 Pretty much the first half of my pregnancy, I will admit.
00:15:34.400 But the two books that I found to be the most practically helpful were Ina Mae Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth.
00:15:40.280 She's probably the most famous midwife in the country, and I wanted to give natural childbirth, which I did.
00:15:46.760 And her book was simply invaluable.
00:15:49.720 It was not only helpful in the philosophical sense, but it was really—there were a ton of practical tips in there that a lot of times are left out of hospital births, I think.
00:15:58.900 And I gave birth in a hospital.
00:15:59.900 I just mean medical births.
00:16:01.700 But a lot of that—it's almost like the art of childbirth has been lost.
00:16:06.400 Mothers don't necessarily pass that on to their daughters the same as they used to.
00:16:09.760 And so the practical tips in this book, which my mom ironically recommended to me because she also gave birth naturally, was really, really helpful.
00:16:18.320 So Ina Mae Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth.
00:16:20.140 And then the second one that was very helpful was the womanly art of breastfeeding.
00:16:24.820 That's the same thing.
00:16:25.880 It not only encourages women to breastfeed and talks about the importance of it, it gives you practical tips for everything you need to know.
00:16:34.120 Because it's actually not as easy as just give birth and the baby latches on.
00:16:38.380 It's difficult at first.
00:16:40.240 It can be a struggle, and it can be an ongoing struggle.
00:16:43.420 But women's bodies were made to do it.
00:16:45.560 As long as you know how to troubleshoot that and have support, your body's got it.
00:16:50.300 Yeah.
00:16:51.040 That's—I mean, I've heard really great things about her work.
00:16:54.420 I also looked her up online because we have talked about this a little bit behind the scenes.
00:16:58.380 You and I have talked about her before.
00:17:00.120 And I wanted to kind of read more about her and see what this was about.
00:17:04.300 And it is fascinating.
00:17:05.780 It was actually very funny.
00:17:07.340 I had a conversation with my mom because my mom had four C-sections.
00:17:11.400 She's a tiny little person, and my dad is six feet tall.
00:17:15.880 So she had four about 10-pound babies.
00:17:20.020 Oh, my goodness.
00:17:20.620 What a champion.
00:17:22.380 Just didn't work out.
00:17:23.680 But so I always thought, you know, if I talked to my mom about being interested in natural childbirth, she would be like,
00:17:30.040 Oh, you know, I don't know.
00:17:31.880 I don't know why you would do that.
00:17:34.040 But I recently had a conversation with her, and she said that with the first, my brother,
00:17:39.380 she had actually tried to do it naturally and had not had any, like, epidural or anything during the whole first, you know, 10 hours of labor.
00:17:48.560 And she said, yeah, it wasn't that painful.
00:17:49.780 I was like, okay, I guess you're just, I was like, I guess maybe if I'm similar to you and I can actually get a baby out because I'm 5'8 and you're 5'1,
00:18:01.820 like, I'll take that.
00:18:03.020 I'll take that not being that painful.
00:18:04.660 Everything I've heard, that's not the case.
00:18:06.680 But here's the most helpful thing that I read in Anna Mae Gaskin's book, though, because I didn't have an epidural either.
00:18:13.740 I did it without any pain medication, without mitigating the pain, with anything pharmaceutical.
00:18:19.560 I would say you can't try to avoid the pain.
00:18:22.960 If you try to avoid the pain, then your mindset is going to be contradictory to your experience because it does hurt.
00:18:29.560 It is very difficult.
00:18:31.040 It's very hard.
00:18:31.940 It's very tiring.
00:18:32.760 And sometimes it's very, very painful.
00:18:34.860 But if you accept the pain, if you know that it's going to hurt to a certain extent, you know that it's going to be unpleasant, you know that it's going to be, as the name entails, labor, and you allow yourself to internalize that and kind of just say, okay, wash over my body versus trying to tense up your body and reject it, that made a huge difference for me in labor.
00:18:54.920 Because if I hadn't read that, I would have had the attitude of, let's try to do everything we can to avoid the pain.
00:19:00.560 How do we mitigate this?
00:19:01.480 How do we get around it?
00:19:02.840 But because I read that in the book, I used that mental technique.
00:19:05.720 I said, okay, allow this contraction to take over your body.
00:19:08.520 Allow it to wash through you.
00:19:09.800 And then allow it to wash away from you when it's done.
00:19:12.720 That was actually probably the number one technique that allowed me to tolerate labor.
00:19:17.680 Wow.
00:19:18.020 That's a really, yeah.
00:19:18.780 And I mean, that again reminds me of my mom because she told me that the first hour she was in the hospital, she kept trying to walk it off.
00:19:27.600 The doctors were like, you can't walk this off.
00:19:30.120 This isn't happening.
00:19:32.100 That's so funny.
00:19:33.060 That's very funny.
00:19:34.160 I know.
00:19:34.520 After like the first 40 minutes of contractions, just a joke.
00:19:38.420 It was just a joke.
00:19:39.520 I lifted up the gown and I was like, is the baby out yet?
00:19:41.940 Because that one hurt pretty bad.
00:19:44.400 Yeah, I'm sure that's going to be me.
00:19:46.020 She was not.
00:19:46.540 I believe it.
00:19:50.220 So beauty and fashion, you are gorgeous.
00:19:54.880 Everyone knows it.
00:19:55.900 So what's your, let's talk about your beauty routine.
00:19:59.860 What's your skincare routine?
00:20:01.820 Because I personally struggle with acne.
00:20:04.520 Even at 27, I have some issues with that, especially around my hormonal, you know, sections of the month.
00:20:11.440 So what is your skincare routine?
00:20:14.720 Yeah, a lot of people do.
00:20:16.740 That's fortunately not something that I struggle with anymore.
00:20:19.220 And I think I can identify the exact reason why.
00:20:22.700 And it's because of the way that I eat.
00:20:24.640 So again, you and I have talked about this at length off the air.
00:20:28.240 But I, in high school, was diagnosed with a cell disease similar to an autoimmune disease.
00:20:32.360 And the way that I manage that, the way that I keep it at bay is through diet.
00:20:36.560 I'm vegan, not because of any animal rights reasons, but just because it's a very low inflammation diet.
00:20:42.640 Meat and dairy and all of that stuff feeds into inflammation in your body.
00:20:45.940 So I cut all of that out.
00:20:47.720 And I eat a very clean plant-based diet in order to manage my health problems.
00:20:51.820 And when I did that, all kinds of other, I guess, tangential or peripheral issues in my body also cleared up.
00:21:00.680 So I don't have acne anymore.
00:21:01.940 I don't typically have period cramps or back aches at that time of the month.
00:21:05.840 All that, I don't even have moodiness, really, before my cycle.
00:21:10.640 All kinds of hormonal things were also taken care of when I changed my diet.
00:21:15.780 So that's the number one thing that I say for skincare is, you know, don't eat meat.
00:21:20.260 Don't eat sugar.
00:21:21.440 Try to eat as many vegetables as you can.
00:21:23.620 Drink as much water as you can.
00:21:25.440 Flaxseed does amazing.
00:21:26.800 I put flaxseed in my kale shakes every morning.
00:21:30.260 That makes a huge difference in your skin.
00:21:32.220 It makes your skin glow.
00:21:33.400 And then for a cleanser, I use grapeseed oil, just kitchen grade from my kitchen cabinet, from my pantry.
00:21:40.520 Grapeseed oil.
00:21:41.440 And I do a hot compress on my face to get the makeup off and then press grapeseed oil into my face.
00:21:47.500 It works as a natural antibacterial and an exfoliant.
00:21:51.220 And it just, I mean, it makes your skin glow.
00:21:53.420 That's amazing.
00:21:54.300 I am so impressed by people who live their lives living, like, with a strict diet that's good for you.
00:22:01.620 I wish I had that self-control.
00:22:04.620 And it's something that I work on.
00:22:06.180 I need to get better at because, you know, I try to eat vaguely healthy, but I probably could work on it more than I do.
00:22:13.340 And so people who really do, you know, change their diet and see these amazing changes in their body, I'm like, I should just do that.
00:22:20.660 Well, it's also, it's also, I don't know if I would have the willpower to do it if it weren't that binary option of bad health versus, you know, sacrificing eating junk food so that I can be operable in life.
00:22:34.780 So if you're faced with that, I'm sure you'd be able to do it too.
00:22:37.260 True enough.
00:22:38.360 And, you know, I have my own version of it, but it's not so much of a choice, I suppose, which is like living kosher style and then, you know, eventually being kosher.
00:22:48.660 You know, I grew up with it, so it doesn't feel like a choice, but it's something that I choose to do every day, I suppose.
00:22:55.380 So I guess I have my mini version of it, my religious version.
00:22:58.460 It's pretty much the same thing.
00:22:59.680 Once you get adapted to it, when I first started, it was very difficult because I didn't know what to cook and what to buy at the grocery store.
00:23:05.380 But once you get adapted to it, it's just normalized.
00:23:07.180 It's just normal to me.
00:23:08.200 Yeah.
00:23:08.980 So what about beauty products?
00:23:11.340 Do you have any favorite beauty products that you, like, have to use or always use or anything like that?
00:23:19.100 Okay.
00:23:19.760 So, again, this is kind of funny because my entire makeup box is about this big.
00:23:24.920 I have basically one product for each part of my face.
00:23:28.740 I'm not actually a beauty guru.
00:23:30.660 I know how to put basically one face of makeup on to go on air.
00:23:34.600 I like to stick to the neutral tones, as you know.
00:23:38.000 My favorite product that I use on my face is either the moisturizer that I put on before my makeup, which is M61.
00:23:46.360 Yeah, it works really well, I think.
00:23:47.600 It's not actually supposed to be a primer.
00:23:49.080 It's just a moisturizer, but I think it works amazingly and it doesn't clog the pores.
00:23:52.160 But I really like my Anastasia eyebrow pencil because it's great.
00:23:58.060 I mean, it's not too dark.
00:23:58.980 It's not too light.
00:23:59.600 It just gives you that fill in for your eyebrows.
00:24:01.860 And I'm all about a nice, fierce set of eyebrows.
00:24:04.700 I was going to say, I'm into good eyebrows, so I appreciate your eyebrows.
00:24:08.760 They look great.
00:24:11.580 So as far as style, do you have any style icons that you try to emulate?
00:24:17.060 I wish I could say yes, but I would say my style icon is my youngest sister, my 18-year-old sister, who has entire veto power over my closet.
00:24:29.560 And she's been exercising that a lot recently post-baby.
00:24:33.980 So she's refreshed my fashion a little bit since my body has changed somewhat over pregnancy and then obviously birth and breastfeeding.
00:24:44.780 So not really in the fashion industry, no real icons, but man, that girl can style.
00:24:49.560 Do you have any specific fashion rules that you follow?
00:24:53.900 Like volume, if you're going to wear volume on top, you should wear something fitted on the bottom or stuff like that.
00:24:59.640 Or do you have a specific kind of just look that you prefer, something more tailored versus something more drapey?
00:25:07.600 Yeah, I would say for the bottom half, I try to go more tailored.
00:25:10.940 I'm all about the high-waisted jeans.
00:25:12.640 I am really into the mom jeans right now, not because I'm a mom, but like the stylish, ripped mom jeans.
00:25:18.200 But I'm all about the high-waisted shorts, all about the high-waisted pants.
00:25:22.040 I do like tailored clothes because, as you know, I'm relatively thin.
00:25:26.200 And if I wear drapey clothes, it can make me look a little bit like a coat hanger, a little bit bony.
00:25:32.620 So I do try to kind of like this top, actually.
00:25:35.760 It's not form-fitting per se, but it's nice and tailored.
00:25:39.180 So it shows a little shape, and it's just classic.
00:25:42.640 That, I think, is the theme of my fashion, is just classic with just a drop, just a sprinkle of trendiness in there.
00:25:49.120 I don't like to jump too much on the trends because I don't want to look back in 20 or 30 years and have my daughter say,
00:25:55.760 what on earth were you thinking?
00:25:57.620 I want it to be at least somewhat timeless.
00:26:00.400 Yeah, I tend to agree with that.
00:26:02.380 I think that's very much a descriptor of my style as well, which is classic with a hint of trendy.
00:26:07.640 I'm not just—
00:26:08.280 Yeah, you can pull off a trend, though, that I cannot pull off.
00:26:11.320 And this is because you're taller.
00:26:12.140 You can pull off the midi dresses that come a little bit below your knee, just to your calf.
00:26:16.940 I look ridiculous in those dresses because I'm pretty short.
00:26:19.980 Yeah, no, I have—there are certain styles that are better for certain body types, for sure.
00:26:25.000 Like, you know, I have a bigger bust, so if I try to wear anything that's, like, super boxy, it's just, oh, she weighs 40 pounds more than she does.
00:26:33.420 But, you know, there are certain clothes that look great on your kind of body type and don't look as good on mine or vice versa.
00:26:40.520 So, you know, it's figuring out how to dress your body and make it look the best that it can.
00:26:47.200 Definitely, definitely.
00:26:48.520 That's the element of timelessness in fashion, I think, that I try not to let be overrun just by trends that might not look good on me.
00:26:56.000 Yeah, I think that's the danger with trends.
00:26:57.920 And it's something I try to steer my audience away from is don't just wear a trend because it's trendy because it may not be flattering for you.
00:27:06.240 And that's totally fine.
00:27:07.800 I mean, there's a ton of trends that I would never wear, but just choose—
00:27:11.720 Do you want me to tell you about a trend that I want to wear that my youngest sister is not allowing me to wear?
00:27:16.060 I'm so into this.
00:27:17.000 I think it's so cute.
00:27:18.160 Hats.
00:27:18.600 I really want to wear hats.
00:27:21.980 And I'm talking about, like, sort of the beachy style hat, that kind of hat that you'd wear with jean shorts and a crop top in the summer.
00:27:28.960 I think they're so cute, the ones that are sort of pinned on the back of your head.
00:27:32.860 I've been told that this is a no-go for me.
00:27:36.460 Yeah, like I said, everyone, we all have these certain things that just don't work for us.
00:27:40.780 I mean, I'll never be pro a bucket hat personally, but—
00:27:44.860 Oh, no.
00:27:45.360 But, you know, I think that we can all figure out what works for us.
00:27:50.000 So, as far as dating and relationships, I love talking about dating and relationships with the conservative women I have on my channel
00:27:58.500 because I think we have a different perspective than so much of what you're getting in media.
00:28:04.000 And I want to share that perspective with my subscribers because I think a lot of my subscribers are looking for that.
00:28:10.560 So, what advice do you have for young women who are dating?
00:28:15.360 Well, make sure you know what values are important to you in a spouse.
00:28:21.040 Make sure you understand what you would want your future family to look like.
00:28:26.140 And then be discerning when you're picking a dating partner because nothing's worse than falling in love with someone that you have nothing in common with
00:28:35.720 because that happens because there are a lot of great people who don't share your values.
00:28:40.400 You fall in love with their personality.
00:28:41.820 You fall in love with maybe their mind.
00:28:43.620 But if you don't share a vision for what you want your life to look like practically, then you are going to be very challenged, I will say, at the very least, entering into a marriage with that person.
00:28:52.740 And I know that sounds kind of pessimistic or kind of negative, but I think it's very important.
00:28:57.120 I mean, we all know people who have been in those situations.
00:29:00.040 The other thing, though, and I think that this is something that conservatives tend to fall into this trap.
00:29:07.500 And it's well-intended.
00:29:09.580 It's well-intended.
00:29:10.960 But sometimes conservatives start dating someone and immediately start thinking about marriage.
00:29:16.060 And that's fine and good in a sense.
00:29:18.060 But there's also a season of life that is appropriate just to enjoy dating that other person, enjoy getting to know that person before you're trying to apply them, copy and paste them into this preconceived notion about what you want marriage and a husband and a father of your kids and a life to look like.
00:29:34.780 So don't be in a rush to, when you start dating someone, to immediately take it to the next level, to immediately get engaged, immediately get married as quickly as possible.
00:29:42.740 That works for some people.
00:29:44.320 It does.
00:29:44.840 I mean, I have friends that's worked for you and your husband got engaged much quicker than me and my husband did.
00:29:52.180 And different things can work for different people.
00:29:54.500 But the mindset of going into a relationship and skipping almost like the, I don't want to say courtship because that has connotations, I guess evangelical connotations of chaperones and all that kind of stuff that I'm not talking about.
00:30:07.400 But the season of just enjoyment, of dating, of fun adventures, don't be too quick to rush through that because that's a really, that's a really special season of life.
00:30:16.780 I, yeah, I think that's an also a new perspective I haven't heard on my channel before.
00:30:21.240 And I think it's very true to go back to your first point, something I always say is you can't choose who you love, but you can choose who you don't love.
00:30:32.480 And what I mean by that is you can't make yourself love someone who you don't have chemistry with.
00:30:38.500 If you try and like, if you're compatible, but you just don't really get along, you can't, it's very difficult to make yourself have a deeper feeling for that person.
00:30:46.780 But if you already have chemistry with someone and no compatibility with them, you can remove yourself from that situation quickly because if you don't, then that is the situation that you're describing where you are kind of in too deep with someone who you don't share values with and you don't share compatibility with.
00:31:05.720 And that's really hard to make last and it's incredibly painful when it ends.
00:31:09.840 It is, and I think that's one of the things, I was actually discussing this with a friend recently, I think that's one of the things that our society, and maybe this is the more religious aspect of society.
00:31:21.880 So, you know, practicing Jews, practicing Christians, practicing Catholics, maybe this is conservatives in general, I don't know.
00:31:26.660 But our society has moved away from friends and family giving their opinion and advice and even a blessing or approval to new budding relationships.
00:31:37.300 And I understand why we moved away from that because we were too far the other direction where, you know, a father actually had to give permission for a young woman, a grown woman to get married.
00:31:48.560 And, you know, I don't think any of us want to be told, oh, who we can marry or who we cannot marry.
00:31:53.520 And we just course corrected a little bit too far.
00:31:55.980 Instead of saying, hey, let's respect your independence and, you know, still be an active part maybe in advising on relationships,
00:32:02.940 we've now excluded whether it's faith leaders, whether it's parents, even sometimes friends and family are hesitant to point out red flags or to say, listen, this is a situation that, you know, other people have experienced and it's a difficult situation.
00:32:16.660 So, you know, maybe take some time and address that before you move forward.
00:32:20.360 We've course corrected a little too far.
00:32:22.140 And I think we'd maybe do well to be a little more opinionated about other people's relationships just because sometimes if you're in one of those situations, you don't know what the ramifications are should you marry that person.
00:32:33.860 Yeah.
00:32:34.320 No, I agree with you.
00:32:35.680 And I like the kind of the description you gave of that.
00:32:39.580 I know that I've been involved with a friend of mine having a breakup where she had a situation where she was dating a guy who was not right for her and her family came on too strong, too hard, and she knew she needed to break up with him, but she couldn't hear it in that way.
00:32:57.140 And having a friend come and sit with her and say, you know, I understand what you're going through.
00:33:01.920 I totally know why this happened, but I don't think that long term this is a great choice.
00:33:07.320 That should be allowed.
00:33:09.080 And I think very often friendship has been turned away from actually offering advice and into support, support, support, you do you.
00:33:19.100 Yeah, just validation.
00:33:20.280 Yes.
00:33:20.760 And that's really not what friendship should be.
00:33:23.440 That's not how real people, you know, support each other.
00:33:27.760 The best friendships I have are the friends who are willing to point out when something isn't the best and how I can improve.
00:33:35.160 I mean, that's why my relationship with my husband is so good, because we can do that for each other.
00:33:40.600 Yeah, definitely.
00:33:41.500 And that's why my best girlfriends I've been friends with since I was a child, because that's what we do.
00:33:48.100 It's not just rah, rah, rah, let's be a girl squad and all like have each other's back in the validating sense.
00:33:54.940 We're honest with each other and we're there for each other when times get hard.
00:33:58.560 And those two things are compatible to be honest and to be there when when things are hard.
00:34:04.340 And I like I said, I think that's been lost a little bit in the way that conservatives conduct relationships.
00:34:09.320 And maybe we do well to, I guess, not be not be so sensitive if other people are giving opinions on on your relationship.
00:34:17.660 And like I said, I'm not advocating for fathers to go back to giving permission to their daughter or for overbearing family members to constantly be criticizing.
00:34:26.160 No, I'm talking about those you're closest with and honestly, the people that are in the relationship themselves may be being open to hearing an honest opinion about about their relationship.
00:34:36.540 Yeah, I totally agree.
00:34:38.040 Well, actually, going off of what you were just saying, I'm curious, do you have any advice for how to find friendships that are long lasting?
00:34:47.640 Because I think that's really hard nowadays to find maybe within faith circles.
00:34:51.780 It's a little bit easier, but it can be difficult to find friendships that actually last because they're not just based on shared interests.
00:34:58.600 They're based on something deeper.
00:35:00.400 So do you have any advice on that?
00:35:02.820 Well, I would just echo exactly what you said, that I think a lot of times people try to find friends based on shared interests.
00:35:08.680 And it is fun to have friends who have shared interests, of course.
00:35:11.940 But my longest lasting, deepest friendships are with women who share my worldview and share my values.
00:35:18.920 And we don't actually share interests all the time.
00:35:21.560 We don't share hobbies.
00:35:22.860 We don't share likes and dislikes.
00:35:24.840 But it doesn't matter.
00:35:25.840 Our friendships have endured.
00:35:27.000 I mean, my best friend, I literally have been friends with her since we were born.
00:35:30.900 Our parents were friends.
00:35:32.380 So our friendship has spanned not only childhood and adolescence, but now adulthood and motherhood.
00:35:37.520 And we don't have the same hobbies.
00:35:39.420 We don't have the same interests.
00:35:40.320 We don't have the same personalities.
00:35:41.280 But we always, always share a worldview on the important things, on the spiritual, on the—I don't even want to say political in just the Washington, D.C. politics way.
00:35:53.000 But in the way that we're raising our families and the way that we're conducting our marriages and the way that we relate to people in the world, those things we share.
00:36:00.680 And so our friendship has endured.
00:36:02.180 And that's the same with, like I said, my closest, deepest relationships with my girlfriends.
00:36:06.320 We share, I mean, we share religion and we share values.
00:36:11.480 Yeah.
00:36:11.940 I think that's—I think that the reason that matters is because then you can go to those friends for advice.
00:36:18.140 If you have a friend who you only share interests with, then going to them for advice may not be the safest route because you don't necessarily trust their opinion.
00:36:27.460 But going to a friend who does share your worldview and your perspective means that you can actually expect to hear something that would match with how you view the world.
00:36:38.140 Right.
00:36:38.780 Plus, as we grow and evolve as individuals and, you know, as wives and as daughters, our interests are going to change.
00:36:48.240 I mean, my interests now at age 31 are not the same as my interests at 16.
00:36:53.020 They're not the same as my interests at 25.
00:36:54.460 And I assume they're not the same as my interests at, you know, 40.
00:36:58.160 Now, some of my interests might be consistent, sure.
00:37:01.480 But if you're only friends with people who share your interests, then you're going to outgrow those friends when you outgrow those particular hobbies or those particular interests.
00:37:09.680 It's going to be hard to create a lifelong friendship with someone like that.
00:37:13.640 Yeah, absolutely.
00:37:15.220 So going back to dating and marriage, what life lessons can you share about marriage now that you've been married for how long?
00:37:25.460 Almost four years.
00:37:26.920 Yeah.
00:37:27.340 So how how how what have you learned in that time?
00:37:31.480 Well, I feel unqualified here since I am such a newbie in marriage.
00:37:37.300 I still feel like we're newlyweds in a sense, just under four years.
00:37:40.920 I would say my biggest life lesson when our biggest lesson about marriage is that men and women are very, very different.
00:37:48.220 Obviously, not just physically, but the way that we process things, our expectations are very different.
00:37:55.640 And I've talked about these books written by Shanti Feldhahn before.
00:37:59.900 These were perhaps the most eye opening relationship books that I've ever read.
00:38:03.580 And not just romantic relationships, but any kind of relationship that you have with someone from the same gender or a different gender in the workplace and friendships in school, of course, in romantic relationships.
00:38:13.180 But for men only and for women only by Shanti Feldhahn.
00:38:15.920 And those are the most eye opening books out there, I think, because they just show how men and women interpret things, interpret the same thing differently.
00:38:24.860 And how, from a religious perspective, how men really have built their entire, I don't even know how to phrase this well, actually, how men's entire worldview is about respect, while women's entire worldview is about love.
00:38:37.020 Now, this is, of course, generalizing.
00:38:38.900 But because we're looking at life and at relationships, at our partner, at our spouse, through these different prisms, we interpret actions and behaviors differently because we're looking at it through different prisms.
00:38:50.720 And knowing that my husband interprets things through the prism of respect has helped me adapt my behavior so that he understands how much I respect him, so that he understands how proud I am to be his wife, so that I'm not just speaking in my own love language to him, but I can adequately communicate through words and behavior how important he is in our marriage and so that we don't have as many miscommunications based on, you know, speaking our own language.
00:39:18.240 Yeah, I think that, and I think this all gets lost nowadays when we're trying to completely erase the difference between men and women.
00:39:27.040 I think that's really not going to be helpful for women entering marriage when they realize, oh, oh no, no, men and women are very different.
00:39:35.960 Yes, very different.
00:39:37.580 A good example would be my husband loves really intense strategic board games.
00:39:43.780 Loves them.
00:39:44.500 Like, biggest hobby ever.
00:39:45.980 However, I know some women who enjoy this.
00:39:48.460 I personally, and a lot of the people, women I know, do not enjoy this.
00:39:53.480 They're less interested in the really intense strategic games and a little bit more interested in the social games, the ones where you're like, you know, charades and monikers and stuff like that.
00:40:04.720 It's something that we talk about quite frequently because he'll want to play one of these intense strategic games, and I'm like, Monopoly?
00:40:12.360 Like, yeah, yeah, definitely.
00:40:16.060 I mean, my husband and I, that's how we are with movies.
00:40:18.120 I mean, he likes the war movies, the epic movies, and I truly couldn't care less about watching those.
00:40:27.120 Because I, that's actually changed, too, since being a mother, since my little girls arrived.
00:40:32.920 I actually have, like, less tolerance of the violence in movies.
00:40:37.080 And this is, of course, fiction movies.
00:40:38.640 But I have less tolerance of death and gore and destruction in those movies.
00:40:43.160 So we do not watch movies that often together because we don't have similar tastes at all in movies.
00:40:48.600 That's really funny.
00:40:49.520 Yeah, a big, one of the ways that my husband and I kind of watch movies together, because, again, we also have disparate tastes.
00:40:56.340 I enjoy period dramas.
00:40:58.860 Yeah, same.
00:41:00.060 He likes a lot of action movies.
00:41:02.780 One of the things that brings us together is watching just terrible, bad B movies because they make us laugh.
00:41:08.600 So that's how we watch movies together.
00:41:12.620 Oh, that's a good tip.
00:41:13.860 Yeah, we've watched some comedies together, but I also appreciate more of the, a good Jane Austen movie is probably the only one that's going to satisfy me.
00:41:23.400 I'm actually, I'm not that big of a movie watcher anyway because I don't have the attention span for it.
00:41:27.520 It either doesn't hold my interest or I fall asleep.
00:41:30.920 Yeah, I feel that as well.
00:41:32.760 I feel like once you get married, all of a sudden you start falling asleep at movies.
00:41:36.820 I mean, that may have been the case for you before, but it definitely is the case for me now where I will watch a movie and all of a sudden I'm like, okay, let's finish tomorrow.
00:41:46.700 Yeah, definitely.
00:41:48.160 I just can't keep my eyes open.
00:41:50.400 So now that you're a mom and you have started your amazing podcast, how do you balance life and work?
00:41:58.720 Because, you know, as women, we're constantly looking for that work-life balance.
00:42:02.720 I think the fact is that it's true for men also, it's a more intense situation for women, but I am curious to know, how do you, how do you make that work?
00:42:11.840 Well, I'm only four and a half months into motherhood, so I may not be the expert on this.
00:42:16.860 What I've done so far is I've tried to do more of integrated parenting with work, meaning I try to, I'm lucky that I'm able to do a lot of show prep and a lot of my work from home at this time.
00:42:28.880 And so I just, I do shifts with each one.
00:42:33.160 I try to, try to wear two hats at the same time, you know, I'm breastfeeding my baby, so I'm not away from her.
00:42:38.720 She's in the same room as I am when I am doing work and, you know, I pause when she needs me.
00:42:44.900 And just, I, you have to be very able and willing, if you're going to do it the way that I'm doing it so far, to be able to stop your train of thought on one area and completely change it into the other area.
00:42:57.420 Meaning you stop being a show host for a second and you start being a mom for a second.
00:43:01.800 You stop breastfeeding for a second and you jump into a publicity strategy session.
00:43:05.680 And going back and forth like that, I, I feel very calm about going back to work because as any new mom, I was very anxious about going back to work because I didn't want to, I didn't want to leave my baby.
00:43:17.960 I didn't want someone else to be the primary caregiver, but I also am very passionate about what I want to do.
00:43:22.540 So it's a very, you feel this very, this very, almost this torment.
00:43:27.360 You feel torn about what you want to do.
00:43:29.160 And doing this integrated work parenting schedule so far has just, I mean, it's worked out fabulously and it's been a big blessing in my life.
00:43:37.080 Yeah, no, that's part of the reason that I wanted to transition away from opera, you know, professionally and traveling and all of that.
00:43:45.240 And into working from home, making YouTube videos so that I would be able to do exactly what you're saying.
00:43:51.840 This kind of, what do they call this, this synergy or something.
00:43:57.060 Like, you've got the baby here, you've got your, your computer here, you're working back and forth.
00:44:02.720 And, and just so that I could be more involved because I knew as soon as I had kids, if I wanted to be an opera singer, I would either have to take them away from their dad to be with me for six weeks while I'm traveling.
00:44:14.620 Or I would be away from my baby for six weeks and someone else is going to be taking care of my baby.
00:44:18.500 And that was never something I, I wanted, I wanted to be around.
00:44:22.720 If you have that luxury, I mean, how lucky are we that we can, but it's, it's something that I feel is, I look forward to.
00:44:31.960 And I'm, it sounds great how you're doing it.
00:44:34.140 If you can handle it, it gives me hope for, for when I'm doing it.
00:44:37.440 Well, check back with me in a couple of months.
00:44:39.260 We'll see how I'm doing that.
00:44:40.980 True enough.
00:44:41.740 I know it's always a, it's a tricky thing to handle.
00:44:44.040 Um, even now work-life balance without a baby is hard.
00:44:47.220 So I totally get it.
00:44:48.960 Um, so being a conservative influencer, I get a ton of hate.
00:44:53.660 People see it in the comments all the time.
00:44:55.740 Um, but you are also in that exact same arena.
00:44:59.840 So people often ask, how do we handle that kind of hate?
00:45:05.100 So how do you handle it?
00:45:06.500 How do you handle the hate comments?
00:45:08.540 Well, I handle it in a couple of ways.
00:45:10.360 First of all, I'm kind of thick skinned to begin with.
00:45:12.960 So I guess sticks and stones, you know, it doesn't, it doesn't bother me too much.
00:45:18.700 If it does get to be too much, I just, you know, close Twitter, close Instagram.
00:45:22.400 I just turn it off and get back to my, my real life, my regular life.
00:45:26.580 Um, so you have to have that self-control to get away from it.
00:45:29.760 If you are the subject of a pylon and you do feel that it's starting to bother you.
00:45:33.620 Um, I, I think it's also just a mental game.
00:45:35.800 So if someone, for example, you know, calls me a name, hurls an insult, you know, an ad hominem,
00:45:40.660 I asked myself, well, is that true?
00:45:42.400 Are you a bimbo?
00:45:43.500 And I'll be like, no, I'm not.
00:45:45.360 Then it shouldn't bother you.
00:45:46.140 If someone says it, who cares?
00:45:47.440 It's mean.
00:45:48.140 And you can acknowledge that it's mean.
00:45:49.400 It never feels good when someone says something mean.
00:45:51.440 But if it's, if, if we're talking about a deeper level than that, you know, if it's
00:45:54.840 talking about your self-image, what you think of yourself or how you operate, if it's not
00:45:58.700 true, then it really shouldn't bother you that much.
00:46:00.740 Uh, it shouldn't affect your behavior.
00:46:02.900 The other thing that's really important is the ability to step away from that.
00:46:06.500 And you have to have something to step away to.
00:46:08.540 So I, I'm really lucky.
00:46:10.580 And this is both, um, because I was blessed with an incredibly strong family and incredibly
00:46:16.180 close family, but it's also by design that I have the ability to step away into what
00:46:21.460 I call my regular life.
00:46:22.800 You know, being a wife, being a mom, being a sister, being a daughter, being a friend.
00:46:26.240 Most of my closest friends have been friends.
00:46:28.840 Uh, I've been friends with since long before I was in the public eye.
00:46:31.380 And so I'm just regular old Liz to them, right?
00:46:34.420 It's not, it's not the political arena.
00:46:36.340 It's not the cultural battlefield.
00:46:38.340 Um, when I step away to that and having them as a support system when, you know, is
00:46:43.000 invaluable because they agree with my principles.
00:46:44.960 They agree with how valuable the fight that I'm fighting is.
00:46:48.320 Um, and it's that support system.
00:46:50.420 I don't, I don't think I could probably be as effective in the cultural arena as I am,
00:46:55.000 if it weren't for the fact that I have this strong support system to counteract the hate
00:47:00.120 that I also receive from, um, from people who disagree with what I say.
00:47:03.740 Yeah, and I think it's, going off of what you said, I think it is really important to know
00:47:09.660 who you are before entering the arena.
00:47:12.280 Because once you know who you are, then when people, exactly as you mentioned, as soon as
00:47:16.680 someone says something about you, you can say that's just not true.
00:47:20.600 And that has been a huge thing for me.
00:47:23.100 A huge technique for me is if somebody says something about me, I honestly look at it and
00:47:27.480 I'm like, you know what?
00:47:28.160 It's just not true.
00:47:29.120 So if it's not true, it doesn't bother me.
00:47:31.080 Right.
00:47:32.560 Yeah, definitely.
00:47:33.340 I mean, and that's, that's why I'm not a huge advocate of, uh, of how do I even say
00:47:39.060 this, of pushing kids, wonder kids into, you know, conservative wonder kids sometimes pop
00:47:43.120 up.
00:47:43.480 I really don't think that that's the place for it.
00:47:45.280 That's the time to educate them so that when they're old enough to be able to handle the
00:47:48.200 hatred, um, the criticism, they know who they are.
00:47:51.200 Um, that's what I would encourage anybody.
00:47:52.740 Like really know what your foundational principles are.
00:47:55.500 Be comfortable with who God made you.
00:47:57.620 Acknowledge what your flaws are because we're all flawed, uh, acknowledge what your strengths
00:48:01.760 are and what your gifts are so that you know how, who you are and that this, and that the
00:48:06.620 hatred or the criticism or the mean comments or the angry trolls don't take up residence
00:48:11.320 in your mind about yourself that you can just let them roll off your back.
00:48:15.660 Or if it becomes too much, you can just put your phone face down on the counter and turn
00:48:19.200 off Twitter notifications for a little while.
00:48:20.740 Um, and go back to whatever your regular life is, go back to researching the stuff that
00:48:25.820 you do for work.
00:48:27.160 That's what I do.
00:48:27.980 Or go back to being a mom, being a wife.
00:48:29.800 And, you know, I'm confident in who I am.
00:48:32.320 I'm confident in my principles.
00:48:33.360 And so it, it doesn't bother me.
00:48:35.200 It doesn't bother me to a great extent at this point.
00:48:37.520 Yeah.
00:48:38.040 I think that's great.
00:48:39.300 And I hope that more people can take strength from it because I think seeing more people,
00:48:44.360 I think what you often see on the internet is, uh, influencers crying about how they've
00:48:50.880 been attacked by trolls.
00:48:52.500 And I understand it.
00:48:53.480 I'm not going to, you know, get down on them because I can imagine it's, it's difficult.
00:48:58.000 But at the same time, I also think it's good for young people to see the other side, the
00:49:04.100 people who are saying, you know what?
00:49:05.580 People can say mean things to you and it's okay.
00:49:07.900 Like that's their problem.
00:49:09.440 Because I think we've gotten a little bit into a habit.
00:49:12.360 I remember as kids, there's the thing of, you know, sticking sticks and stones will
00:49:17.020 break my, my bones, but words will never hurt me.
00:49:19.780 And I think that that's been like really flipped in, uh, in-
00:49:24.120 Yeah, now they tell us that words are actual violence.
00:49:26.860 Exactly.
00:49:27.600 Exactly.
00:49:28.240 And it's like, you know what?
00:49:29.500 No, words will never hurt me.
00:49:31.460 They're words.
00:49:32.080 If you say something that is mean or demeaning, yes, if you hear it all the time too much and
00:49:38.000 you're, you're paying too much attention to it and you aren't stepping away and going
00:49:41.120 to your support systems and turning off your phone, yeah, that's gonna, it's gonna hurt.
00:49:44.980 But if you are being smart about it and you know who you are and you can recognize where
00:49:49.920 those comments are coming from, it doesn't have to be so bad.
00:49:54.240 Right.
00:49:54.760 And you can also recognize your own line.
00:49:56.760 Some people have different tolerance levels.
00:49:58.360 If you know that you're susceptible to those comments taking residence in your head that
00:50:02.200 you can't stop thinking about them, you're worried that they might be true, then don't
00:50:05.100 read your mentions at all.
00:50:06.060 If you know that you're pretty thick skinned and it really doesn't bother you, you know
00:50:11.160 what you know about yourself and you're fine with people saying mean things because you
00:50:14.180 know they're doing it because they can't answer your facts, then go ahead and spend a lot
00:50:16.940 of time in your mentions.
00:50:17.920 But you, and that's different for each individual, that tolerance level of it.
00:50:21.200 And you have to be very self-aware to recognize what that tolerance level is and then have the
00:50:25.560 self-control to guard so that you don't, you don't, you know, intake more than you
00:50:29.920 can tolerate.
00:50:30.420 Yeah, I mean, I was, I was bullied a lot as a kid, so I think maybe that's where I got
00:50:35.920 my thick skin because nowadays I'm like, oh, you're, whatever, I've dealt with this
00:50:40.240 when I was like four, it's fine.
00:50:43.180 But, you know, everybody, I agree with you, everybody has a different tolerance for it.
00:50:47.200 So just figuring out what your tolerance is, is what's going to make your life better in
00:50:51.980 the long run.
00:50:53.280 Yeah, we were both raised in big families, so we both also got used to that.
00:50:58.000 Definitely.
00:50:58.400 Well, on that note, thank you so much for coming on my channel today.
00:51:03.160 I loved having you.
00:51:04.140 I hope to have you again.
00:51:05.660 I love talking to you.
00:51:07.660 Me too.
00:51:08.180 Thank you so much for having me.
00:51:09.220 This was great.
00:51:09.900 It's, it's hard to believe that all this time went by so quickly.
00:51:12.820 It's so true.
00:51:13.940 Thank you so much for watching today's video.
00:51:16.080 Make sure to follow Liz Wheeler everywhere that she's on social media and to follow her
00:51:20.700 podcast.
00:51:21.760 I would love if you would subscribe to my channel if you're not subscribed already and make
00:51:25.220 sure to hit that notification bell.
00:51:26.480 I'd also love if you would consider subscribing to my Substack newsletter where you'll get
00:51:30.060 access to exclusive content such as weekly articles and two exclusive videos every single
00:51:36.000 month.
00:51:36.540 If you'd like to follow me on social media, it's at Classically Abby absolutely everywhere.
00:51:41.060 Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you guys in my next video.
00:51:43.840 Bye.
00:51:44.860 Bye.