Modesty MATTERS And Here's Why.
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
178.6912
Summary
In this episode, Abby talks about the concept of modesty and how it can be used to your advantage. She explains why modesty is a virtue to be harnessed and how to use it in a way that gets women what they want.
Transcript
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If you are new to my channel, my name is Abby and here we talk about common sense commentary
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where I talk about things that I think are kind of obvious but in today's day and age would be
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considered pretty controversial. So let's just get into today's video. If you have been on my
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channel before, you will know that some of my most popular videos are about modesty. I talk
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about modesty a lot here on my channel because I love modesty. I think that it is a beautiful
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concept. It's one that really embraces your femininity. I think that it can really show
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respect to who you are and to your body. But modesty is very controversial these days and
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people take a lot of offense to the term, to the idea. They think it's controlling. They
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think it's patriarchal and I am here to say it is none of those things. I am here to be
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a big proponent of modesty because I think it's really important and I want to share
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why. I don't think that modesty is only for the religious. I don't think that modesty is
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only for the prudish. I think that modesty is something that everyone should embrace because
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I think that it can only benefit you, the woman. And I know, again, unpopular opinion that it's
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about you as the woman and not about men. But it is for you and I'm going to tell you why.
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People often think that when I'm talking about modesty, I'm talking about it as a weapon to be
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wielded rather than as a tool to be used. A weapon to be wielded is you are dressed immodestly. You
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look inappropriate and you are gross, basically. You are just inappropriate. I don't want you in my
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space. You are upsetting to be around. I think that in today's day and age, it's very hard to dress
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modestly. I mean, bras are basically clothing now. Like you can just wear a bra out and about and that
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is considered fashion. Or you can see women on the red carpet and they're literally wearing
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nothing with like something sheer over their body. Like that is it. That is their dress. So it's very
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difficult to dress modestly because that's not what we're being shown is fashionable. But the reason I
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say it's a tool to be used is because modesty will get women what they want. It will get you what you
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want. If you dress immodestly, you are asking men to look at you for your body and to ignore your
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personality. They don't need to get to know you as the person. They are looking at you as a sex
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object. Now, I don't think most women are wanting men to ignore who they are in favor of looking at them
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as something they can sleep with, right? If you want more than a one night stand and you want
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somebody to actually like you, then dressing to be attractive rather than to be objectified is,
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you know, it's very different. We've made modesty the villain of our discourse rather than a virtue.
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Are there some restrictions on the way that we should dress so that we can attract better attention?
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Absolutely. But that's not a bad thing. And that doesn't mean that men are bad. It doesn't mean
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that you are being restrained and now you should be, you should have freedom. It's a virtue to be
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harnessed. You can use modesty to your advantage. You can dress in a way that accentuates your figure
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without showing the entire thing off. You can dress in a way that makes you look beautiful rather than
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sexy. And of course, there are times when those two things overlap. But I think there's this obsession
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with wanting men to look at you. Women want to be desired. That makes sense. But realistically,
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there is a very fine line between being desired within the range of being beautiful and also being
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attractive and being desired within the range of being a sex object and men really not caring who you
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are but really just wanting you for your body. And I think that modesty allows us to walk that line
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and fall on this side rather than this side. Modesty doesn't need to be frumpy. It doesn't need to be
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ugly. It should be beautiful. And it should accentuate your beauty. But it should be about how
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lovely you are, not about how good you are in bed. A really good example of this is Sydney Sweeney.
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There was this whole thing going around online about Sydney Sweeney because she has flaunted her
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chest very publicly in the way that she dresses. And so there was this whole conversation about how
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she was embracing her femininity and allowing the male gaze and how that was a good thing.
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Okay, so let's clarify. Embracing your femininity is not the same thing as being overtly sexual.
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Embracing your femininity is not about being a sex object. Embracing your femininity is about the
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things that make women feminine. Nurturing, beauty, not sex, not just being a body. That is not
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embracing femininity at all. In fact, that's very masculine to like put out all of this energy of
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like, yeah, I am ready and here, take me to bed. That's very masculine rather than like the more
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seductive, subtle version of I am beautiful. And you'll have to earn me that, which I know is
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unpopular, but that is a much more feminine expression of sexuality is I am not just free.
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You need to earn my attention. That's why I believe waiting for sex until marriage is so important.
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You have to earn this thing that is so precious to me. My sex life is not just for everyone to have,
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you know, a chance at. I am saving that for the one person who I believe earned it and who is going
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to take care of it. And it's as precious to them as it is to me. Modesty has all of these ideas wrapped
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up in it. At the end of the day, when you have a lot of women dressing immodestly, it actually makes
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it harder for the women who do want to dress modestly. It's not just a choice of like, oh,
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I guess you can dress this way or I guess you can dress that way. And it's just a preference.
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It's not just a preference because women who dress immodestly make the market harder
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for women who want to dress modestly. Who is going to get the initial attention more? The woman who
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is dressed really provocatively or the woman who is dressed a little bit more modestly? It's going
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to be the provocative one, but that's going to be short lived. The guys are going to go through 25
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women. They're just dating, dating, dating, dating, but not really seeing a future with before they see
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the girl who is going to be a little bit more work for them to end up with, right? They're actually going
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to have to put in the effort. And a lot of men are not willing to put in that effort. The good men
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are, but not all men. I think that modesty deals with the reality that men are attracted to women
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through a visual means initially, but it doesn't so distract them that then they are completely removed
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from who you are beyond what you look like. And if your boobs are out the entire conversation, it's going
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to be difficult to want to know about like what your favorite movie is. The last thing to kind of talk
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about is just how desensitized we've become to sexuality, to the female form, to nudity. If you are
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consistently surrounded by naked people, then after a certain point, naked people aren't going to be
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nearly as arousing as if you don't really see nudity and then all of a sudden you see your husband or your
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wife in your bedroom naked. That is a lot more arousing than nudity everywhere. And unfortunately
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today, we are really surrounded by nudity constantly. And we're telling people that you
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shouldn't be aroused by the nudity that you're seeing on a regular basis because that would be
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awkward, right? Like if the woman at the Oscars after party is wearing something that's completely
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sheer and you're having a conversation with her, I don't think you're supposed to be aroused in that
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situation. And so you're creating a system in which nudity and nakedness and immodesty are removed
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from sexuality, which nobody wants, right? When you get undressed in front of your husband, you don't
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want him to be like, oh, okay, another day. That doesn't feel very good. So modesty also makes sex
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special because it makes nakedness special. I've always said that it is sexier to see a woman wear
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a skirt that's longer, but if she sits down, it rides up a little bit because, oh, that's maybe not
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something I'm supposed to see than a woman who wears a mini skirt. Like if she's already completely
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exposed, then it doesn't matter. But if the slit in her dress opens a little bit and you see her leg a
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little more, that's always going to be a little sexier because, oh, like, am I supposed to see
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that? And that's why modesty is so beautiful because it makes things hidden that then in private
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are even more sexy because you're alone and they're not supposed to be seen in public.
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There is a real beauty to modesty. It respects your body. It respects the things that, that make you,
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you, but are not the focus of who you are. Your body is not the focus of who you are.
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Your body is a part of who you are. And if you make it the entirety, they're not going to take
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another minute to figure out what the person is behind, behind the body alone. So I am a huge
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proponent of modesty. I would love to hear your thoughts below. What do you think? Do you think
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we've lost the thread on modesty? And last but not least, if you've watched till the end of today's
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video, leave a heart in your favorite color down below. I would love to see it. My favorite color
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is blue. It's a light blue though. I think that's correct. Like my shirt, I would say this is like
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pretty close to my favorite color. And I will see you guys in my next one. Bye!