Classically Abby - PRO-LIFE Is Pro-Woman： Talking With PRO-LIFE Activist Lila Rose ｜

00:00:00.000 and i'm looking for the first time at the image of a baby i saw first trimester so 10 weeks old

00:00:07.040 and you could see this newly formed little baby with arms legs newly formed little face

00:00:11.840 three and a half weeks pre-born the baby's heart is beating seven weeks there's brain waves

00:00:17.280 eight or nine weeks you already have you know facial features forming

00:00:21.040 and this baby had been torn apart by the powerful first trimester suction abortion

00:00:30.000 hello classic crew and welcome to today's episode of let's be classic featuring pro-life activist

00:00:43.200 lila rose of live action let's be classic is a series on my channel where i get to interview

00:00:48.880 some amazing people and have you get to know them in a more personal way and i'm so excited to have

00:00:55.440 lila rose on today's episode now before we get into the interview i would love if you would

00:01:00.320 consider subscribing to my sub stack if you become a premium subscriber to my sub stack newsletter

00:01:06.080 you will get access to exclusive content not available anywhere else and it will come right

00:01:10.960 to your inbox you'll get two exclusive videos a week a weekly article you can also listen to a

00:01:17.120 recording of the article if you don't have time to read it and you'll be able to submit questions for

00:01:21.680 live stream q and a's as well as content pitch contests if you'd like to see more of what i do

00:01:27.280 here on my channel and make sure that you do get access to all of my content you can head over to

00:01:32.480 the link in my description box or head to classicallyabby.substack.com lila rose is an incredible pro-life

00:01:40.000 activist lila founded and serves as president of the pro-life organization live action which has the

00:01:46.640 largest digital footprint for the global pro-life movement lila's first book entitled fighting for

00:01:52.960 life becoming a force for change in a wounded world was just released and i'm really excited

00:01:58.800 for you guys to hear all about it as well as her work in the pro-life movement and also giving you

00:02:04.400 guys an opportunity to get to know her on a more personal level we're talking dating relationships

00:02:09.680 fashion beauty and i'm really excited to share all of that with you in addition lila's podcast is

00:02:15.280 called the lila rose show where she talks about faith relationships culture and politics lila has

00:02:21.040 also done investigative reporting on the abortion industry which has been published in many major

00:02:26.240 news outlets i had a great time talking with lila i think you guys are going to love our conversation

00:02:31.440 and i'm really excited for you all to hear more about live action her pro-life organization as well as

00:02:36.480 just get to know her on a more personal level so make sure to subscribe to my channel so you can see

00:02:41.360 more interviews like this make sure to ring that notification bell and let's get into it thank you

00:02:46.320 so much for coming on today i'm so glad you could join me thanks for having me exciting to do this with

00:02:52.880 you yeah love i love what you're doing thank you so much and i love what you're doing i was gonna say

00:02:59.520 it's so nice to have another vocal pro-life woman on my channel i mean you are doing so much for the

00:03:07.280 movement and it is so important thank you well i i mean we're in it together right it's it's not just

00:03:15.680 one of us it's the more of us the better and the good news is i love seeing more and more women

00:03:21.200 speaking out to be pro-life and saying you know the true pro-woman position is being pro-child instead of

00:03:27.600 you know pitting us against each other so anyways i i love that you're speaking out on it and so many

00:03:32.240 other women i feel like are doing that more and more so it's a movement it's a growing movement

00:03:37.280 which is amazing so i wanted to start off today talking about your new book so exciting it just

00:03:44.480 came out um can you tell us a bit about it it's called fighting for life so can you tell us a little

00:03:49.520 bit about it yes so it's behind me i don't know if you can see it i have way too many copies of it in

00:03:55.760 my house right now they just sent me a bunch of my publisher but i'm so excited to have it out so it's

00:04:00.800 been in a way 15 years in the making because i started my organization when i was a 15 year old

00:04:06.800 and then i've been praying and working and really growing it over the last 15 years and now we are

00:04:12.640 the global educational leader for the pro-life movement so we're reaching about 15 million people

00:04:17.360 weekly with pro-life education and content and inspiration and so i wanted to write a guidebook for

00:04:23.280 others who feel called or inspired to make a difference in the world especially around a cause that might seem

00:04:29.280 controversial or unpopular because i think that today there's some really crucial causes i think

00:04:35.280 the pro-life cause is the biggest human rights issue of the day just the sheer amount of children killed

00:04:40.240 by abortion and the devastation that it brings there's been 60 million abortions in the united states

00:04:45.360 alone since it became legalized but i wanted to write something that would be that guidebook because i

00:04:51.360 think a lot of people see the problems in our culture or they get inspired about something they

00:04:56.080 even get heartbroken over an injustice and then they're like okay now what do i do and you know

00:05:01.280 they they might feel a lot of insecurities or fears and so a lot of the book is actually walking

00:05:06.640 through the insecurities and doubts and fears and even my mistakes that i made building live action

00:05:12.240 you know personal struggles that i was going through and providing tools and lessons for okay what do

00:05:17.920 we do when we struggle with self-worth or other people's opinions or i'm not sure how to get

00:05:23.680 started or facing an obstacle that seems so great um or other people are upset with us because they

00:05:29.360 disagree how do you navigate those situations and how do you ultimately in the process grow as the

00:05:36.000 person you feel called to be to be the best you know we talk about being the best versions of ourselves

00:05:41.200 i think that when we dedicate ourselves to a cause bigger than ourselves and fight for the lives of

00:05:46.960 others we actually are changed for the better and so a lot of the book is about that too that's

00:05:52.800 fascinating and i love that it's you know it's about of course your story and it's about the pro-life

00:05:57.920 movement but it's also really about being a tool book a tool guide for people who want to get involved

00:06:04.160 in things that it can be scary to get involved with when you're doing something that is you know

00:06:08.960 controversial like you said so who would you say your book is ideally for i mean you kind of talked

00:06:15.200 about that but i'd like to hear kind of who you had in mind while you were writing it sure well i

00:06:20.080 think it probably is most resonating with um a lot of young women i mean as a young woman and starting

00:06:26.720 my organization as a young woman and being a boss and you know now a wife and even the experience of

00:06:32.160 wrestling with career or calling and then also love and relationships and now i have my son and i'm

00:06:37.520 pregnant with our second so that whole journey is present in the book um and the lessons with that

00:06:43.040 journey but i've actually had men read it and younger men and i mean people of all ages and

00:06:46.880 they're like thank you i'm so pumped up and inspired i'm so encouraged so i hope it will resonate with

00:06:52.560 different ages different backgrounds um but you know i think younger women just because i'm a young woman

00:06:58.560 um they can relate to specifically some of the struggles that i share and also just the i think

00:07:03.600 we're told as a society kind of how to be and i know you address this a lot abby which i think is

00:07:07.840 awesome you know i think our society has certain expectations for what it means to

00:07:11.280 be sort of a empowered woman and i think a lot of those things are not true i think to be empowered

00:07:17.360 is to be um pro-family pro-love pro-morality you know high standards for ourselves and others in a

00:07:24.480 loving way because that helps us be excellent as people and so um i think the book is you know the

00:07:30.160 book is designed to encourage and inspire along those lines because we can sometimes feel alone like

00:07:36.240 oh because i have these standards in my dating relationships or because i'm trying to be this kind of

00:07:40.080 a person myself it's not what the world is telling me like the world's telling me to you know flaunt my

00:07:45.040 sexuality or you know whatever it is um and i'm want to be counter-cultural so how do i do that you

00:07:51.040 know like where's the where's that encouragement for me and so fighting for life is um the encouragement

00:07:56.560 for and the tools for how do you as a woman stand up in a culture that's often lying or misleading

00:08:02.640 people and stand for what's right yeah no i mean again i think that that is so important for young

00:08:09.200 women and really just people generally to hear and to to read and to have that um boost from somebody

00:08:15.840 who is doing it you know someone who's living that life it's not just someone who they can't point to

00:08:21.360 and say well she's not she's not doing that but you have you've done it and you're accomplishing it and

00:08:26.080 it's incredible so how did you decide that that was what you wanted to write about and have you i don't

00:08:33.440 actually know i mean this is your first book so what was the process like for you of writing this

00:08:39.040 book so it was long and difficult there were a lot of books i wanted to write and i still i'm actually

00:08:44.960 working on another book already so there's a lot of books i think in my soul ever since i was a little

00:08:50.400 kid i'm like i want to be an author that was one of my i think first dreams so it's very exciting to

00:08:55.360 finally birth this birth fighting for life um i will say it's very hard to write a book and i waited

00:09:01.840 until i'm in my early 30s i waited until i was i feel experienced to really write about something that's

00:09:09.520 useful for other women about how to fight and how to stand up for what's right um i wrote this specific

00:09:15.440 book because i really feel like we are at a crossroads increasingly and i think that that's both

00:09:22.240 politically and culturally i feel that and i mean the last election was so crazy right an unprecedented

00:09:28.160 amount of people turned out to vote um there were good people on both sides um a lot of concern over

00:09:35.120 a lot of issues and i think you know during the pandemic and then it was you know after the pandemic

00:09:39.920 during in the middle of a pandemic and i had just given birth to my first son and i'm working on this

00:09:44.320 book and i'm writing it and i'm thinking okay it's more than ever i feel there's this question of what

00:09:50.080 really is right and wrong in our society you know who has the moral clarity because i think there were

00:09:55.440 moral concerns on both sides when they went to the voting box during the last election so it's like how

00:10:00.880 do we prioritize moral issues when we get into politics how do we prioritize and even navigate our

00:10:07.440 own personal lives uh during unprecedented challenges and i think that there's this desire i feel like

00:10:13.920 there's a desire from people um in our culture today to just want to know how do i make my life

00:10:20.400 happy you know what is you know how does how do i make my life meaningful and there's so many mixed

00:10:25.360 messages so anyways fighting for life is what i've discovered you know first one fundamental principle

00:10:32.000 is knowing our worth as individuals i believe it's a god-given worth and seeing the worth in others

00:10:38.400 and putting others and and the value of human life first i mean there's a lot of concerns there's a

00:10:43.440 lot of you know interests like career and ambition and prestige and you know education and all these

00:10:49.440 things but at the end of the day it's about love it's about serving each other and becoming the best

00:10:53.520 we can be so a lot of the book is about how you know looking at political and cultural issues through

00:10:58.480 that lens and encouraging um people and telling my stories to say you know i had to struggle with my own

00:11:04.080 self-worth um you know as a young woman and and some in some ways my calling and even my cause to

00:11:10.640 fight for the lives of pre-born children and their mothers um i couldn't really access that cause fully

00:11:16.080 if i was at war with myself right and so a lot of it is working through the interior stuff that we should

00:11:22.400 work through and um i think it's hard it requires opening our hearts getting vulnerable so you know some

00:11:28.640 of the book is about that process and why that's a process for i think all of us to go through

00:11:33.680 it in in one way or another absolutely absolutely i think that it's going to do great things for the

00:11:38.880 people who purchase it i'm excited to read it i'm waiting for my copy in the mail impatiently um

00:11:45.920 we sent you one did you you haven't gotten it yet huh it is in is on its way it is i've checked

00:11:51.120 sorry it's not there yet no i'm very excited to read it it is on my book list i have to run and get

00:11:58.240 it and i'm really excited to to read it so um let's talk a little bit about your organization

00:12:04.320 your non-profit live action so your history in the pro-life movement is amazing you started when

00:12:11.440 you were 15 can you share your beginnings with those of my followers who don't know yes i would

00:12:18.560 love to so i started live action my non-profit when i was 15 we weren't really a non-profit yet we

00:12:24.880 were just a student group and it was born out of heartache that i felt and this moral clarity this

00:12:31.440 moment of moral clarity that i had which i really think was a gift at a young age so i'll just share

00:12:35.840 two quick stories um and i talk about this more in fighting for life but i was really interested in a

00:12:41.120 lot of causes as a young teen i was really um you know one of those types was very sensitive um i know

00:12:47.840 some people listening might be able to relate like you just kind of feel you're kind of a an empath

00:12:51.920 you feel deeply about the world and other people you know their struggles and injustice against them

00:12:58.000 and so anyways i found out about abortion as a young girl when i was becoming aware of a lot of

00:13:03.440 other causes and really the you know the existence of evil i think as a kid you might think back to a

00:13:08.720 moment when you really for the first time were like realized that evil exists that there was an

00:13:13.280 that there's injustice in the world and maybe it was something that happened against you as a child

00:13:18.640 personally or maybe it was somebody that you saw being hurt or something you saw but for me one of

00:13:24.160 those moments was i was reading this book because i loved reading and it was actually a history book

00:13:29.200 on abortion um weirdly enough like i found my parents had tons of books in their house this was one of

00:13:34.080 them i don't even know that they know they had it but in the center of the book were images and i'm

00:13:40.080 looking for the first time at the image of a baby i saw first trimester so 10 weeks old and you could

00:13:46.720 see this newly formed little baby with arms legs this newly formed little face um three and a half

00:13:51.760 weeks pre-born the baby's heart is beating seven weeks there's brain waves um eight or nine weeks

00:13:57.520 you already have you know facial features forming and this baby had been torn apart by the powerful

00:14:03.840 first trimester suction abortion which is 30 to 50 times more powerful than a household vacuum so it's

00:14:10.480 really um incredibly violent and it tears the baby out of the mother's womb and into pieces

00:14:16.240 typically and looking at this image i was just heartbroken i i was just moved really deeply and

00:14:23.440 i i just was like is this real is this happening what is this and i learned that you know i kept

00:14:29.360 reading at the time there were 3 000 abortions daily in america that this um was the most prevalent

00:14:34.880 abortion procedure this image that i was looking at what had been done to this baby and um and so you

00:14:40.720 know i started to research and study the issue more i came across mother theresa who some of you

00:14:46.240 might know about you i'm sure you've heard of abby and she's this little nun from calcutta india she

00:14:52.320 worked with the poorest of the poor um she worked with the total totally destitute and she was a nobel

00:14:58.000 peace prize winner because of her works of of charity and love but she said whenever she had the

00:15:04.160 opportunity she said abortion is the greatest destroyer of peace she didn't say racism or sexism

00:15:11.920 or economic inequality she she made this distinction and she said abortion is the greatest destroyer of

00:15:17.760 peace and i remember reading her words as a young teenager and just being really like shocked and

00:15:23.680 surprised by that that she would say that and why did she say that because in an abortion a mother

00:15:30.800 is turning against their own flesh and blood the bond of love that should exist between a mother and

00:15:36.000 a child is broken and the place that should be the safest the womb is become a war zone and because of

00:15:43.920 that today we have 125 000 abortions globally every day 125 000 abortions globally every day over a hundred

00:15:56.160 thousand abortions every day in america in in on our planet and and it's the leading cause of death

00:16:01.920 there's no greater death toll than abortion and so anyways learning about this i was like okay i have

00:16:06.560 to do something and so that inspired me to start trying to find a pro-life organization to join because i

00:16:13.520 thought this is the human rights issue of our day i have to get involved this is against women against

00:16:18.000 children against society um and abby there was no other you know pro-life youth group to join i grew up in

00:16:25.440 san jose california so it's silicon valley you know near san francisco there's millions of people here

00:16:32.080 and there was no non-profit to join to do um education of my peers so then i was like okay i guess

00:16:37.760 i have to start it you know i don't know what i'm doing but i'm gonna just get together with some

00:16:43.200 friends and we're gonna start this organization and so that was the that was the first step wow that's

00:16:48.800 an incredible story i mean it's true when i for me the thing i've been pro-life that's probably been the

00:16:54.880 issue i've been the most solid on my whole life and it started for me in a similar way i didn't see

00:17:01.680 the the image of an aborted fetus but just seeing the images of a of an ultrasound of like 4d ultrasounds

00:17:11.440 and seeing the photography that they did in the book like um a child is born where the you can see the

00:17:18.640 baby's you know tiny little fingernails and you can see at like eight weeks that it looks like a baby

00:17:25.040 i mean it was just it changed everything and i think i mean that's why they say right that so many

00:17:30.960 of these um abortion clinics don't want women to get ultrasounds because as soon as a woman sees an

00:17:35.600 ultrasound she sees her baby and that was how i i felt when i would look in these books and i saw

00:17:41.440 these images so i totally understand and then seeing what you saw at 15 of that same image but now

00:17:48.640 the extremely violent version the horrible evil of that i mean i can imagine how that inspired you to

00:17:55.920 start your own organization um so as a pro-life advocate and the creator of the anti-abortion

00:18:04.720 non-profit live action what advice do you have for those of us who want to be more involved in the

00:18:10.240 movement that's a great question so i think first it all starts with education uh so educating

00:18:17.120 yourselves ourselves is the first step and that includes you know studying fetal and embryonic

00:18:23.120 development looking at actually how abortion procedures are performed uh seeing how it affects

00:18:28.400 women like looking at the studies the metadata of how abortion harms women psychologically

00:18:34.080 emotionally a lot of abortion activists today are like no women are great after having an abortion

00:18:39.600 and the studies reveal that there's short-term relief that can come from the end of an unplanned

00:18:44.720 pregnancy because you know it's seen as this problem and often women feel pressured or scared but then

00:18:50.000 it starts to sink in you know there's this deep um i think ingrained trauma i mean that's a family

00:18:55.200 member that was killed whether you identified him or her as your son or daughter when that child was

00:19:01.280 killed that was a life that existed that is now gone and you were a mother for a short period of time

00:19:07.440 and that stays with you and there's studies that show like as time goes on how that trauma builds and

00:19:13.520 sometimes it manifests through addiction or through even suicide or other mental health crises and so

00:19:19.920 i think educating ourselves about this is key once we have enough i think confidence with our own

00:19:25.040 education which is key i mean if you're not feeling aware enough on the topic you're not going to want

00:19:29.760 to talk about it with other people right so live action actually has this online free mini course

00:19:35.680 where you can learn pro-life apologetics for how to answer tough questions because a lot of society is

00:19:41.120 conditioned to be pro-abortion right they're conditioned to say well my body my choice it's for

00:19:46.640 women and so you have to be prepared to give an answer but once you feel you know you've done some

00:19:51.200 research you've started to explore the issue i think simply sharing the message with one other person

00:19:58.080 maybe sharing on social media maybe sharing with a friend maybe sharing with a family member

00:20:02.640 then connecting with other pro-life advocates live action has an ambassador's program where you can

00:20:07.920 connect with others we support students for life chapters so you can get connected on your campus or

00:20:13.040 your college and that's a key step because then you can start to team up and i talk in my book fighting

00:20:18.160 for life about the power of teamwork and how you know we're not meant to do this alone you know if

00:20:22.800 there's a controversial cause that we need to fight you know in the past slavery abolition that

00:20:28.880 was this horrific human rights abuse in our country and people bravely stood up they it cost them a lot

00:20:34.800 but they banded together they found that one other person who was willing to stand up for the rights of

00:20:39.600 all humans as equal instead of permit slavery to continue and so you got to find in today's um injustice

00:20:45.920 you have to find the people that are with you because it's going to take it's going to take

00:20:50.720 some courage you know there's going to be people that disagree and will mock you or misunderstand

00:20:55.520 you know the issue and so those are some key steps you know educating yourself um starting to share

00:21:02.080 the education that you now have with others um connecting with other pro-life advocates to team

00:21:06.640 up and start forming clubs or you know joining pro-life groups um and then you know along the way

00:21:13.120 suddenly you're part of this movement and i believe it is the human rights movement of our day

00:21:18.400 because of the you know the extremism of this of this issue the incredible death toll the fact these

00:21:24.640 are children that are dying um it's done in the name of women and we need everybody it's a cause

00:21:29.280 for everybody so i would urge you to check out live action and please get educated and join the fight

00:21:34.480 yeah i actually i believe in my pro-life video i linked to live action because there is so much

00:21:39.520 information available on the website and uh i think it is so important for us to understand what

00:21:45.280 we're what we're fighting for and know enough about it so i think and another thing that i think is

00:21:51.120 exactly right what you're saying is and something i try and do here on my channel is creating a

00:21:55.280 supportive community for yourself when you are trying to either make changes or just be a little bit

00:22:01.360 more vocal about what you believe and i think that having a community is what allows you to

00:22:07.760 feel confident to go enough to to go out and speak what you what you think and and make differences

00:22:14.880 because otherwise going out alone it's very difficult it's scary and it can make you feel

00:22:20.160 like you're going get canceled and you don't know what's exactly going to happen when you have some

00:22:24.240 people kind of who have your back i think that that really makes all the difference um and i think

00:22:30.560 i think one other thing that helps a lot too and i have a whole chapter on this in fighting for life is

00:22:35.840 heroes i mean i think heroes give us inspiration to stand up again and go against the grain

00:22:42.400 so who are your heroes you know for me some of my heroes were mother theresa i mentioned her earlier

00:22:46.800 she had moral clarity she loved people sacrificially she stood up for other people um corey ten boom was

00:22:53.520 a woman um a dutch woman during the nazi regime when they basically took over her country and they were

00:23:01.120 shipping off jewish people and political dissidents to concentration camps and her you know committing

00:23:06.400 horrific slaughter and she stood up and she said i'm gonna try to rescue the people that are being

00:23:12.000 horrifically treated and she sacrificed so much she was taken off to a concentration camp in the end for

00:23:17.120 that but uh she did that because she she wanted to fight for other people's lives and so having models of

00:23:23.760 people you know who went against the system who dared to speak out who dared to be different um who

00:23:30.720 loved sacrificially you know their focus wasn't themselves it wasn't their own careers or fame or

00:23:36.560 being you know having millions of followers on tiktok or you know whatever you know whatever it was or

00:23:41.360 being really gorgeous or like super fit i mean not that those things are bad by the way um you can have

00:23:47.200 millions of followers and be beautiful and super fit great but what's your end game you know is your

00:23:52.080 end game to serve other people and make their lives better and protect the vulnerable or is your end game

00:23:58.880 yourself which by the way is not going to make you happy in the end you know that we're not made to just

00:24:02.960 love ourselves and then stop there right we're made to value ourselves so we can also love others um so

00:24:09.600 anyways that's i think that's uh that's key to ultimately getting in the fight is having heroes that show

00:24:15.920 us and model sacrificial love i totally agree with that so i wanted to talk a little bit about

00:24:23.440 kind of the pro-life arguments um so i on my channel i i put out a you know i put out my

00:24:30.960 my fair share of pro-life videos and uh i actually did a response video to some of the comments in that

00:24:37.280 original video of course i got a lot of hate comments so i was responding specifically to those

00:24:42.000 but i'm curious to know what are some of the most common arguments for abortion and how do you respond

00:24:49.840 to them of course we can go to live action i'm i'm going to recommend to all my followers that you

00:24:54.480 head to live action to get a more in-depth picture of this but i figure this would also be great we get

00:25:00.160 to talk to lila rose herself so i might as well ask yeah so i think as far as the most common arguments

00:25:07.200 for abortion i'll list a couple and then some responses but there's there's a lot we could

00:25:11.440 kind of talk about this all you know all day there's all kinds of different arguments or debates

00:25:16.160 around this but i think one fundamental one which you've i'm sure heard before is my body my choice

00:25:22.400 meaning i have bodily autonomy and if i don't consent to pregnancy then i have the right to end my

00:25:28.640 pregnancy right that's i think a very commonly um made argument and so you know in that case i would say

00:25:36.000 you know first of all i actually agree my body my choice in the sense that as a woman or as a you

00:25:41.280 know a man i think you should have bodily autonomy people don't have the right to hurt you you have

00:25:46.320 the right to protect yourself i i completely agree with that you should you know people should respect

00:25:50.880 your body as i think we should respect our own bodies when a woman is pregnant there's another body

00:25:56.880 involved uh there's a child uh an embryo is a is a human being it's a unique individual human life

00:26:03.760 the science is crystal clear on this uh science is crystal clear when human life begins embryologists

00:26:09.040 biologists agree you can open a human biology textbook and if you go back to the genesis of

00:26:13.680 human life you'll find that the beginning is a single cell digote a single cell embryo

00:26:18.800 which has the complete genetic material of an individual unique life you know eye color sex height

00:26:24.480 millions of characteristics already decided and that that cell is self-actualizing in the sense that it's

00:26:30.240 not being told by other cells what to do like our body our cells communicate this is this is the whole

00:26:36.240 body of the individual and all that he or she needs is time and nourishment to grow and she or she will

00:26:42.400 rapidly grow if her life has not ended um or his life has not ended three and a half weeks later that

00:26:47.680 like the tiny embryonic heart is already beating the nascent heart by seven weeks six seven weeks brain

00:26:54.000 waves are already forming uh or firing i mean it's incredible how quickly this baby grows so that being

00:27:00.000 said if you are pregnant you do not have the right to end the life of your child just as if you are

00:27:04.960 a new a mother of a newborn and you were that newborn was totally dependent on you you don't have

00:27:09.600 the right to kill that newborn a child's dependency another human being's neediness doesn't give the

00:27:16.640 person who is responsible for them the right to kill them okay and so because of that that's why i'm

00:27:23.120 pro-life you know and i think mothers deserve support i don't think that means that every woman who's

00:27:28.160 pregnant is able in the position to raise her child that's why i think adoption is such a key part of

00:27:33.200 the pro-life fight and there's a lot of nuances around that but the solution is never to kill

00:27:38.960 and i think we can all agree and i'll i'll just close with this as the kind of capstone of this

00:27:43.600 response we can all agree and i hope anyone listening will agree with me when i say

00:27:49.120 it is always wrong to intentionally end an innocent human an innocent human's life it's always wrong to

00:27:56.000 intentionally end the life of an human being and i hope everyone agrees with that um if you don't

00:28:00.960 there's other problems right um and an abortion intentionally ends the life of an innocent human

00:28:07.760 being and because of that fact abortion is always wrong so we should fight for mothers we should care

00:28:13.520 for children we should improve the conditions but we should never resort to lethal violence against a

00:28:18.400 child no matter how small they are as a solution or as somehow a right yeah so that's one i can do

00:28:25.520 another one i don't know how long we have that's i think one of the most prevalent ones no i mean

00:28:30.080 you're absolutely welcome to give another i think that's a great a great argument and i think it's so

00:28:35.040 important for people to understand um so that's up to you we can we can move on if you want but you can

00:28:40.960 give another if you like we can do one more because it's so common and i think it comes from a very

00:28:45.600 well-intentioned place and that's the rape and incest uh response so some people who you know are

00:28:51.760 maybe they're kind of feeling pro-life i mean they're they're very open to the perspective they

00:28:56.160 they care about human life but um it's so painful to imagine you know a rape or incest survivor um

00:29:02.160 carrying their the rapist baby to term and i think that is a very common objection um to say well we

00:29:08.320 need abortions to be legal and i think first of all it's important to note that one percent um even

00:29:13.600 less than one percent of all abortions have to do with um a child who's conceived in rape or incest so

00:29:19.520 the vast majority of legal abortions today over 2300 abortions a day in america are elective

00:29:25.120 abortions so that means the mother just didn't feel she was ready or there was a boyfriend

00:29:29.680 pressuring her it had nothing to do with rape or incest that being said i think we have to really

00:29:34.320 examine this question if a child is conceived in rape or incest does that mean that child is less

00:29:41.440 worthy of life if you have a father who ends up in jail or becomes a mass murderer does that change

00:29:48.800 your value as a human being so from the perspective of the rights of that child that child is just as

00:29:55.200 valuable as you or me no matter who his or her biological parents are and in the united states

00:30:00.880 we don't even give the death penalty to rapists it's actually against federal law so why would we

00:30:05.600 give the death penalty to the son or the daughter who was conceived in an act of violence and from the

00:30:11.280 mother's perspective the woman's perspective i think we should have so much concern and advocacy for

00:30:17.680 survivors of rape and incest and we should fight for them and get the support they need and better

00:30:22.240 penalties to protect them from their abusers etc but does abortion somehow remove the trauma of the

00:30:29.200 rape i think sometimes we think oh if we can just you know she just has an abortion it will you know

00:30:33.200 it'll help her right we want to help her which is good um i help that survivor but abortion is not

00:30:39.280 going to heal the trauma of the rape it's actually going to add another trauma to her another wrong that

00:30:44.880 doesn't make a right which is ending the life of that child and you would look at the few studies

00:30:49.600 that have been done on this there haven't been a lot there should be more but one study that was

00:30:54.400 done on evaluating actually rape and incest survivors who got pregnant some who chose abortion some who

00:31:00.000 had their babies of the ones who chose abortion the majority of them regretted it and wish that they

00:31:05.520 hadn't of the ones who chose life all of them said that this actually helped was was part of this sort

00:31:11.840 of redemption despite the horror that they endured and so i think we have to actually listen to the

00:31:16.080 stories of what actually helps rape and incest survivors and then look at what is right what is

00:31:21.280 right no matter what and that is never to take the life of a child even if they're conceived in rape

00:31:26.640 yes i think that's a really important point and i think it is really important for people

00:31:31.520 because i agree with you i think even though abortions from rape are the exception to the rule

00:31:37.840 that is still a question that people have and i think it's important to address it because otherwise

00:31:44.400 it seems like you know you're just waving it off no one's waving off this issue this is an issue that

00:31:48.880 we we in the pro-life movement have considered and especially with the statistics that you're bringing up

00:31:56.720 regarding the fulfillment that mothers feel when they do bear the child of their attacker i mean that's

00:32:04.560 really important to note i think yeah i mean she's a victim but i think there's a there can be a

00:32:10.800 certain resonance that your child's also a victim you're both victims you're in it together and that

00:32:16.480 doesn't mean to raise that child it doesn't mean that you know it does it has changed your life

00:32:21.040 fundamentally i mean that is a fact you know carrying a child to term you know being a victim

00:32:25.360 and survivor of sexual violence those are those are big things um big big things but that doesn't mean

00:32:31.600 your life is over that doesn't mean you don't have a future and that doesn't mean that there's not

00:32:36.320 redemption and that that child isn't isn't worth it absolutely so moving on to some lighter topics

00:32:44.880 i wanted to talk about you being a mom so your son is about a year now and you're pregnant again

00:32:52.160 that's so exciting what has motherhood been like for you what was pregnancy like what is pregnancy

00:33:00.640 like being a pro-life advocate i mean i think you know in my experience when i when i was pregnant it

00:33:07.520 felt uh it was incredible i mean i could i could imagine everything that i was reading you know the

00:33:13.040 the development and i thought it was incredible so i'd love to hear your perspective well first of all

00:33:18.800 it gave me such a profound pregnancy now and pregnancy with my son and i also did have a miscarriage

00:33:25.120 several months back and each pregnancy and we lost our our son we named him jesse each pregnancy

00:33:31.440 has taught me even more profound respect for my body as a woman and just that i can create new life

00:33:39.440 and i'm just doing going about my day doing my thing and there's a life that is just growing rapidly

00:33:45.120 in me this this beautiful human being so i just am wowed by that i think it's just crazy and weird and

00:33:51.360 amazing uh when you really think about it you're like wow there's another human in you that's growing

00:33:55.760 rapidly and you're just like living your life um i mean pregnancy also made me even more convicted

00:34:02.320 about my work uh oh my goodness like you have now this visceral reaction when i you know study abortion

00:34:10.720 or debate abortion on you know doing media or just talk about it um i know i know what it is to be a

00:34:17.200 mother i know what it is to have felt a child kicking inside of me and be completely dependent

00:34:22.080 on me and i know um the violence that abortion is you know i've studied it and to think that

00:34:28.400 we permit this we celebrate this we tell women it's good for them it makes me that much more um upset

00:34:35.440 and passionate to stop it so there's that element and oh my gosh there's so much more on like just now

00:34:42.000 like my son so peter is one um he's 16 months now and just you know the wild ride of watching him grow

00:34:48.800 like it's people people like i think there's a lot of um you know mom stuff of like it's so hard and

00:34:55.200 kids are so messy and it's so crazy and yes it can get crazy and messy and hard um i completely agree

00:35:01.600 with that but it's so beautiful i mean my son is just like is magical and i know a lot of other moms see

00:35:10.080 this too like when we when we give ourselves permission to slow down for a second and just

00:35:13.680 marvel at just how amazing these little creatures are these these these humans entrusted to us and

00:35:20.800 i just feel privileged i mean i i feel incredibly privileged with my son and now with our next baby

00:35:26.720 and to have carried our other son for the short time we had him and yeah i just it's just a blessing

00:35:33.120 and and then getting to watch my husband be a dad like that's the other thing um and i'm sure

00:35:37.760 you'll just geek out gabby when you guys have your your next and watching your husband be a dad because

00:35:43.920 watching the tenderness and you know marrying well matters you know the one no one the number one

00:35:49.360 things i look for in a man was someone who really wanted to be a dad you know because i think as women

00:35:55.680 it's like you know is he is he attractive like yeah make sure he's attractive do not be with him if

00:36:00.320 he's not um to you he should be attractive to you you know is he kind is he hard working like yeah

00:36:04.960 sure all those things would be fun um but does he want to be a dad like does he does he love kids

00:36:10.880 um or does he want to love kids maybe he's like kind of they're kind of foreign to him

00:36:14.400 and so watching my husband just like love on our son and play with him and just be a good dad i mean

00:36:19.840 there's it's pretty i mean it's obviously incredibly attractive and it's just beautiful

00:36:24.080 it's beautiful to get to see that too yeah and see their bond yeah absolutely it's really funny because

00:36:29.600 jacob has been the one since we got married who's like let's have a baby and i'm like wait wait wait

00:36:36.000 give us a second but yeah he's he's ready to go no he's he's gonna be an amazing father i'm sure he

00:36:43.040 will and that's way better than a man who is scared of kids i mean and there's good to have some some

00:36:48.880 healthy fear because it is like a it's a huge deal um but i think this sort of like mentality of rejecting

00:36:56.240 kids entirely because of fear or because of you know their own personal pursuits or whatever you're

00:37:02.000 just missing out on a lot of beauty a lot of beauty i agree i mean yes of course i like can't wait to be

00:37:09.360 you know a mom and i'm pregnant again um but yeah it's it was an incredible opportunity the first time

00:37:15.680 and now we're just waiting to to for the second time so what books would you recommend for either

00:37:22.960 pregnancy or motherhood did you have any books that you depended on or look to now or anything

00:37:30.000 like that it's a great so there's two that come to mind i read so many books like all the popular

00:37:35.360 ones obviously what to expect when you're expecting bringing a baby like all these like typical parenting

00:37:39.920 books a lot of montessori books i'm really into the maria montessori method about you know really

00:37:44.720 self-directed the child really self-directing their exploration as they're very young and growing

00:37:49.680 and learning about the world um and that's like you know having wooden toys and trying to avoid like

00:37:55.040 things that are very unnatural for the child in their play space um so that being said the two

00:38:00.240 books i found the most useful for me last you know with my son peter when i was pregnant with him and

00:38:05.840 now as he as he's a young boy little boy um is number one it's called mama natural so it's kind of like

00:38:13.760 what to expect when you're expecting but for women who are pregnant or if you have someone in your life

00:38:18.240 who's pregnant it's basically a more natural perspective on pregnancy um and i'm not against

00:38:24.000 you know giving birth in hospital like i'm not uber crunchy or anything um although my little sister

00:38:29.600 did just like the midwife birth with the tub and everything like that um so but but this book is

00:38:35.760 really one step at a time through pregnancy and just recipes and different things about your body that

00:38:41.040 you wouldn't typically know otherwise or even your healthcare provider might not tell you so it's

00:38:45.200 really fascinating so it's called mama natural and then the other book that i found really great

00:38:50.000 is called being there the importance of the first three years which if you haven't read it abby you

00:38:55.760 would love it and i would recommend it to any parent mother or father or aspiring parents and i

00:39:02.160 actually read this before i became a mother and i'm grateful for that so if you're a single person read

00:39:08.000 this book because i think um anybody who just cares about kids and parenthood it's valuable and so being

00:39:14.800 there the importance of the first three years is about childhood development and the power of the

00:39:20.080 bond especially the maternal bond with the child and you know it's very relevant for adoptive parents

00:39:25.920 or foster parents or really any parent so it's very science-based um the writer is um using years of

00:39:33.360 her professional knowledge as a clinical counselor and social worker describing you know childhood

00:39:39.600 development so highly recommend that one absolutely well i have to check those out i'm going to add

00:39:44.080 them to my amazon list like immediately um so i wanted to talk about your faith journey do you

00:39:52.880 where did you start where are you at now kind of what was your story with that yes so it's

00:39:58.880 definitely a journey um ongoing because i think faith is you renew it each day and your relation to

00:40:06.400 god you renew each day but for me um i'll share a couple markers in my journey and i share some of

00:40:12.560 this in fighting for life because i have a chapter called let god find you and you know basically in

00:40:18.800 short i was raised in in an evangelical home so evangelical christian and there was a lot of

00:40:24.640 beauty in that you know my parents taught us about love and god and we had our struggles but there was

00:40:30.480 just a lot of beauty in that upbringing and then in high school i just had a lot of rough experiences i

00:40:36.400 also talk about them in fighting for life i struggle with depression and self-harm and i had just

00:40:40.560 existential questions about what it meant to be human and god and i wasn't sure if what i had been

00:40:46.320 taught growing up was true and so i went through this phase where i really studied religion and

00:40:51.520 world view and belief and i thought you know what do i believe is god real is jesus god um you know what

00:40:58.720 is the truth and so that continued for some time and then when i got to college ucla i was really um

00:41:06.880 exploring christianity more deeply i i came to a belief that jesus was god you know i looked at the

00:41:12.400 historical record of the life of jesus christ we could talk about that in default you know in depth

00:41:16.640 if we want to but long story short i i believe that jesus was god and that i wanted to follow him

00:41:22.720 and that he was really here to save be the savior of mankind um and i wanted to learn how to love him

00:41:28.960 and you know be you be with him in heaven one day you know i wanted to be saved by him i was like well

00:41:33.120 what does that look like to do that or to be that or to receive that and so anyways after even more

00:41:38.720 explanation or exploration i i felt i began to learn about the catholic church and how there's an

00:41:45.360 unbroken line of what's called apostolic succession which is you know jesus laying his hands on the first

00:41:52.880 12 apostles who then laid their hands on their um next in line uh disciples who then laid their hands

00:42:00.320 on there and this is the line of the priesthood jesus is the first the ultimate high priest and

00:42:04.880 then he ultimately is creating this line of priests in the line of melchizedek which is you know the

00:42:09.600 jewish priest and he's basically transforming how we worship and what worship even is and then he gives

00:42:16.640 himself on the cross to die for us and he ultimately leaves us the eucharist which the early church

00:42:22.400 understood to be jesus's body and blood this is um holy communion that we take as catholics so i began to

00:42:27.760 learn all these traditions and the logic and the history behind it and how it made so much sense

00:42:33.760 with against the words of christ christ says all these very mysterious things in the gospels that

00:42:38.480 i never fully understood but now looking at the tradition and how the early christians understood

00:42:42.880 it and looking at this 2000 years of christian history i was like wow it all of a sudden made sense

00:42:48.160 and then i started to explore the catholic church more and i realized you know what it taught about the

00:42:52.560 human person and god um you know the the magisterium of the church so the official teachings of the

00:42:58.000 church which were unbroken and you know had been developing for 2000 years it was so beautiful and

00:43:04.240 logical avi and consistent you know it it didn't go against science or reason it it invited in science

00:43:11.440 and reason and it was just so coherent and beautiful and so i was like this makes so much sense you know

00:43:18.640 and then with the eucharist you know learning about jesus and the eucharist that he left us his body

00:43:23.280 blood soul and divinity and asked us to actually receive him in holy communion i mean that was like

00:43:29.120 the deal breaker for me of like oh my gosh i want to receive jesus in this intimate way so anyways i ended

00:43:34.480 up becoming catholic in college and i'm still on the journey because i'm still learning how to be catholic

00:43:39.920 and how to just be christian and how to you know be the best woman i can be and let god love me and let god

00:43:46.800 use me and become you know who he wants me to be so i am a work in progress um but becoming catholic

00:43:54.240 was really the pinnacle i think of that faith journey and really arriving into its fullness and

00:44:00.240 now i'm just you know becoming it more each day yeah no i love talking about faith as a journey because

00:44:07.040 i know that i am definitely on on a path and it's something that i i talk about very openly with my

00:44:13.840 followers and my subscribers that you know i grew up orthodox i grew up orthodox jewish and then i

00:44:19.360 kind of it's called going off the derach which means going off the path that's uh that's the hebrew uh

00:44:25.280 word for it and i definitely did that when i was in my master's program when i was in my early 20s and now

00:44:32.080 um as i met my husband the two of us are kind of working our way back to being orthodox again but it's

00:44:37.680 important to us that we do do that but it's a process and even when we reach the point quote

00:44:43.600 unquote of being orthodox you know it's always still going to be a process because you're always

00:44:48.960 still trying to get closer to god and closer to quote unquote perfection i obviously none of us can be

00:44:55.520 perfect but we're all trying our best to aim for that standard and it's always going to be a pursuit

00:45:01.920 not necessarily actually reaching that pinnacle um so i love hearing other people's stories uh but i

00:45:08.720 had a question about being pro-life and being religious and i think it's kind of clear that

00:45:15.840 being religious would inform a pro-life position but in my opinion and i think most people would

00:45:20.880 agree with me that being pro-life is also the only scientifically sound position but how does your

00:45:27.920 faith inform your work with live action despite the fact that it isn't the the main purpose of it

00:45:33.520 right like we can sit here and say that there is science behind what we think so what what how does

00:45:39.200 your faith come into it if it does right it's a great question and you know i don't i first of all i

00:45:46.320 think the science is on the side of the pro-life side because of the uh reality of when human life

00:45:51.920 begins but science doesn't teach morality right so science teaches us or shows us about the world

00:45:59.680 around us you know we can test and study and say this is you know how you know gravity operates or

00:46:05.520 how you know this tree is growing or you know about this disease or whatever um science doesn't tell

00:46:11.200 you what's right or wrong and so everybody ultimately discovers a belief system or moral code and i think that

00:46:18.560 the most um true and consistent moral code is given to us by a god um there there comes religion and i

00:46:28.400 think it's written on the human heart so even if you don't believe intellectually in god i think there's

00:46:32.960 something deep in every human person that we can see oh it's it's wrong to kill somebody right it's wrong

00:46:38.480 to cheat it's wrong to lie and so um that to say you know my faith deeply inspires my work um jesus christ

00:46:46.880 is the ultimate example of laying down your life for others he laid down his life for me and i believe

00:46:52.560 you know humankind um and he shows me by example how to live and he gives me the opportunity to love

00:46:59.120 um but i would say it doesn't matter your religious background or what you where you're at in your

00:47:03.600 journey with god or if you even are wrestling with is god exist um you can all agree that there is

00:47:10.320 an absolute morality and that morality includes it's never right to kill an innocent person so in that

00:47:15.600 sense faith inspires me but i i was pro-life even when i didn't know what my faith was you know i

00:47:21.280 was hardcore pro-life um even when i wasn't sure if i even was a christian or if i was anything you

00:47:27.280 know so i don't think that you're precluded from being pro-life if you're not religious which is

00:47:32.480 awesome we have pro-life atheists and you know pro-life and agnostics and every kind of pro-life um but

00:47:39.440 i do think my faith has made it that much more deeper and and also i will say i believe there's

00:47:44.320 something called god's grace and that means you know god gives us all special help he created us

00:47:49.920 he loves us i believe and so i do think god's grace sustains me because i i will say the work

00:47:56.160 is very hard i mean everybody has hard things in their life and i've you know had different struggles

00:48:00.880 and i i think god um his particular love and the way i can receive his love through my faith has been

00:48:07.360 essential for me so that in that sense it's helped my work tremendously i think i love that i love

00:48:13.600 that last point that at least for i agree with you because i know that my faith in god bolsters me

00:48:18.720 in the times that are difficult when you are coming up against a challenge um so switching topics

00:48:25.600 entirely um let's talk a little bit about beauty and fashion part of why we do these uh these

00:48:33.360 interviews is just so that my subscribers and followers and your subscribers and followers

00:48:37.600 uh can kind of get to know you just as a woman and uh i wanted to ask you a couple questions so

00:48:44.720 you are beautiful um do you have any skin thank you do you have any skin care products that you use and

00:48:54.720 would recommend because clearly your skin is great so that's so sweet thank you and also to you a beautiful

00:49:03.520 woman um skincare products so my favorite skincare product is one that my sister-in-law introduced me

00:49:10.560 two years ago and she is the skincare product guru and it's kind of affordable i think it's called

00:49:16.320 paula's choice and it's this moisturizing daily sunscreen and it's basically my daily moisturizer

00:49:21.360 as well as my sunscreen i i'm kind of a minimalist with my um beauty products and so anyways it's also

00:49:27.520 based for makeup but it's just sensitive skin paula's choice um sensitive skin daily sunscreen and

00:49:34.240 moisturizer and it's awesome it just it goes on really well it's um you know it's long wearing

00:49:40.320 it's very light um it doesn't it's not greasy or cakey and it kind of gets the job done of both

00:49:45.840 a moisturizer and a sunscreen i'll have to check that out because i'm always looking for everyone

00:49:51.920 should know it's important to wear daily sunscreen so i'm always looking for a daily sunscreen that i

00:49:56.320 can wear that will look good underneath makeup so it sounds like this fits the bill i think so it's

00:50:02.320 working great for me so i would recommend checking it out okay and you can get it on amazon it's not

00:50:07.680 like one of those goofy products that you can only get at like neiman marcus or you know sephora you can

00:50:13.040 get it i think really anywhere so perfect and then as far as style um again you dress really beautifully

00:50:21.680 so do you have any style icons how would you describe your style hmm so it's definitely evolving um

00:50:31.280 it's evolved over the years i i think i aim for and what i'm attracted to style wise is um you know very

00:50:38.080 classic you know tailored type pieces but that have kind of a modern edge or sort of an interesting

00:50:44.080 artistic vibe occasionally so that you know lend some room for creativity or personal flair what you're

00:50:49.920 feeling that day i'm definitely not trendy like i don't you know i i appreciate the trends because

00:50:55.360 usually trends are just like they go in and out right like what what's popular today was like popular

00:51:00.000 in the 70s for your mom or something right that's like trends um there's rarely something new under the

00:51:05.200 sun in fashion it's always kind of recycled even like from thousands of years ago i've actually i love

00:51:10.960 studying fashion it's interesting to me and you look back like hundreds of years and like we're at some

00:51:15.120 of our like like the puff sleeves that was that was a thing you know a couple years ago so it's like

00:51:20.720 not you know we don't invent it today so anyways it's all interesting but so yeah my style would be

00:51:25.680 pretty classic and um tailored and everything but with sort of a little edge or vibe that i find

00:51:31.600 interesting and then as far as like a classic a style icon um that's been really hard for me over

00:51:37.600 the years because i i definitely think there's a lot of women dressed beautifully but as far as like

00:51:41.040 i really like i love which most of what she wears i don't know that there's one um historically that

00:51:47.120 i i mean one person that comes to mind which uh i think she does when she became princess she did a

00:51:53.120 phenomenal job and i think she still is i mean she's not really living the princess life but i think

00:51:57.920 megan markwell has done a really beautiful job when especially when she was in great britain and doing

00:52:02.720 the whole you know princess routine she really nailed almost all her outfits so i think she's an icon

00:52:09.200 a modern icon today and what she's done and accomplished with her fashion because it's like

00:52:13.840 it has a modern edge to it and it's interesting but it's still super tailored and classic um i think

00:52:20.320 kate as a style icon is also amazing but she's more much more traditional i think not as creative so i

00:52:25.760 like the the markle side of fashion oh i see i totally see what you mean some of megan markle's dresses

00:52:31.520 they have these very cool architectural designs to them that don't detract from the femininity of the

00:52:38.240 look but they definitely add something a little bit different and i know what you mean about kate

00:52:42.480 middleton as well that she's more on the traditional side i would say that i i like both a lot and i

00:52:47.680 think i tend to be a little bit more flexible with trends and incorporating them into my outfits but as a

00:52:54.960 general rule i don't i don't tell people that they should follow trends because i think it's most

00:52:59.760 important to find styles that actually work for you specifically as opposed to trying to just kind of

00:53:06.000 follow what's popular and three quarters of the time man that stuff does not look good on me so

00:53:11.120 i i can understand why it wouldn't look good on most people these things are just well and i

00:53:16.560 and i think that's so good like wear what you do feel confident in and you know i think our bodies

00:53:22.560 are so beautiful and human beings are so beautiful i mean there's whole like industries built around

00:53:29.120 selling images of human beings bodies because they're so beautiful that's why i like sex sells

00:53:34.240 right because you know human faces human bodies were just designed to just find them beautiful

00:53:38.960 and i think that's a good thing obviously we should approach it with this respect and even

00:53:44.080 reverence because beauty should inspire respect as opposed to like wanting to consume or use other

00:53:49.680 people and so anything going back to clothes i know modesty is a passion of yours which i think is

00:53:54.960 awesome because modesty is not about um you know hiding ourselves or not you know not valuing

00:54:01.520 ourselves or just being ashamed of sexuality or something like that i mean really it's about

00:54:06.000 valuing how beautiful we are and showcasing it in a way that is tasteful and ultimately um respecting

00:54:12.960 you know our sexuality because i think if you kind of like sell your own sexuality um it's it's it's not

00:54:19.360 doing yourself a service so in that sense i think also like classy clothes um and there's a lot of like

00:54:25.120 gray area here you know i'm not like a prude of like you don't can't wear sleeveless shirts or like you know

00:54:30.000 whatever the like you know stereotype is but i think i you know class this idea of classiness is

00:54:36.320 a lot about um respect for the and and and kind of a reverence for how beautiful we are and wanting

00:54:43.360 to um you know have clothes that are worthy of our bodies you know like you have to be worthy enough for

00:54:49.040 us which is like clothes that we do feel beautiful in and do showcase us i totally agree so the camera

00:54:56.960 died but we are back and we are going to be talking a little bit about dating and relationships so can

00:55:04.960 what are your thoughts about dating and relationships what advice what advice do you have for young women

00:55:09.840 who are dating so i have a lot of opinions um because i went through this like slog of dating

00:55:18.880 all through my 20s and had so many different boyfriends and it was just it was a lot i learned a

00:55:24.080 lot it was like boot camp and so i have a lot of opinions um i actually talk about this a lot

00:55:28.480 on my podcast so i launched the podcast because i actually wanted to talk about dating and like

00:55:33.040 mental health and things like that so you guys can check out some of the episodes um i'll just plug

00:55:37.360 it the lila rose show but one of the principles for dating that i think is um really important and

00:55:43.920 essential is what's the point what's your goal with dating your personal goal um is your goal like

00:55:50.640 you're feeling lonely and you want to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or is your goal you

00:55:55.120 just want to get to know somebody and just kind of see what happens that's sort of like loosey-goosey

00:55:58.960 like whatever you know wherever it goes or are you really wanting to have a long-term committed

00:56:05.200 lifelong relationship a marriage one day and have a family you know is that why you're dating and i

00:56:11.200 think it's important to kind of separate out the different um reasons we date maybe we even date

00:56:15.920 because of peer pressure or we just find ourselves attracted to somebody when those things are not

00:56:20.320 it's not bad to be attracted it's great but i think there has to be a goal with dating

00:56:24.800 um not in a crazy way where you're like date one you're like should i marry you or not i mean

00:56:28.640 obviously not like that but you should have in your mind you know what's my goal here of being in

00:56:33.040 the dating place market um when i get into a relationship as a boyfriend or a girlfriend you

00:56:38.240 know am i just going to sit in that relationship indefinitely and just see well magically does it end

00:56:43.120 up somewhere or am i wanting to see is this the person i want to spend my life with you know is this

00:56:47.760 the person i want to be the mother or my father of my children and i think the key word in all of

00:56:53.360 this is intentionality having intention and i think this is key for men and for women and if you're

00:56:59.840 a woman of intention who knows you know who she is who she wants to be what she's looking for what she

00:57:05.040 wants in her life and you're looking for a man who is like that too you are more likely to find that

00:57:11.680 if you go into dating and relationships with like out clarity on what your goals are and your intentions

00:57:16.960 are for yourself and others then i think it's gonna actually it'll probably be less satisfactory and

00:57:23.520 you know there's there's more room for dating duds quite frankly and like you know having bad

00:57:28.640 experiences and so for me as as much as there were challenges through dating for me and you know

00:57:34.320 great moments and tougher moments and all through my 20s i did have the clarity of like what i was

00:57:40.000 looking for and that would change over time as i got to know myself better and you know understand

00:57:45.120 like what i was looking for better and that's one of the values of data you kind of refine what you're

00:57:49.040 looking for um but ultimately you know when i met my husband joe if i had met him 10 years earlier i

00:57:56.800 don't think i would have had the clarity and the maturity because i was still learning that through

00:58:00.480 my 20s i was on an intentional journey but i was still learning and so in that sense i think dating

00:58:04.880 really prepared me for him um and helped me see like the value and the beauty that was my husband you

00:58:12.080 know and made me want to marry him obviously i was super attracted to that is very important

00:58:16.560 um but i want to say one other thing and my last like advice big advice on this is i do think it's

00:58:22.480 so important um to have your morality set on sex too because sex can so color and change how we view

00:58:30.240 our relationships and you know infatuation is real it's not bad but it's real and that can really make

00:58:37.120 us you know bonded to or committed to someone that we're not ready to be with or it's not right for

00:58:42.080 us and so i'm very much too this is like the old school maybe it sounds old school but i actually

00:58:46.640 think it's really revolutionary today i'm very much about sexes within marriage it's with your lifelong

00:58:53.600 um spouse and it's when you're ready to have kids and you know that's super counter-cultural

00:58:58.720 because today it's like what's the big deal as long as there's consent sex is fine but i'm very much

00:59:03.360 a romantic and i'm very much of a believer in true love and i think that you know true love involves

00:59:09.440 your whole body your whole self and that should not be just given to you know a boyfriend or somebody

00:59:14.480 you're dating it should be given to someone who's committed their life to you so that's another thing

00:59:17.760 i'm passionate about with dating yeah marriage and the whole conversation i think that those are

00:59:23.840 incredibly good points i make them myself i really and i and i would love for my followers to

00:59:29.440 listen to your podcast i will link it in the description the i will link it in the description

00:59:33.920 box below uh but i think that exactly right intentionality is incredibly important and i think

00:59:40.320 what's very often misunderstood is the idea that we're bossing people around with these kind of with

00:59:47.680 these kind of concepts and in when in fact it's really about i don't want you to be in pain the if you

00:59:54.480 date and you marry someone and you haven't thought about you know what that marriage is going to mean

01:00:00.880 besides just attraction besides just chemistry which again super important but if you're only going in

01:00:06.640 with those two things at the forefront of your mind things may not work out and you'll be the one

01:00:11.920 who's in pain afterward and so in my in my opinion when i talk about these kinds of ideas intentionality

01:00:18.880 and waiting to have sex until you're married it's because i don't want you to suffer i don't want

01:00:24.720 the girl who who does date a guy for five years and doesn't end up marrying him because you know he

01:00:30.640 didn't ever want to actually take it to the next level to be to suffer and that's that's where it comes

01:00:36.800 from for me so i agree with you on on on both of those points yeah and i i think that's a beautiful

01:00:43.920 point and i i think it's too it's about um somebody who wants what you want you know what is friendship

01:00:51.360 at its deepest core what is chemistry at its deepest core it's somebody who's like really running the

01:00:56.320 same direction as you and like wanting the same things you want for your sake and for their sake

01:01:01.520 and so that's where shared values is really important um not just shared values about like what

01:01:06.720 you like to do for fun or you know you're not bad people you try to be honest and you know hard

01:01:11.200 working but shared values in terms of like what do you want for your future um what do you want

01:01:16.320 for your future family what do you want for your your you know what's the purpose of your life what's

01:01:21.920 the big goal of your life um is it you know to love god and other people or do you have some other

01:01:27.520 goal you're still figuring it out and so i think having that alignment and one of the biggest

01:01:32.640 alignments my husband and i had you know we had many alignments when we were dating and discovering

01:01:37.440 each other and you know falling in love and one of the biggest alignments we had was this view that

01:01:43.360 marriage was forever you know we're both 100 against divorce and that's really um i think

01:01:50.160 misunderstood today a lot of people are like well if you don't like each other or you there's you know

01:01:53.920 big issues you probably should divorce and we were really committed no when we promise each other

01:01:59.200 till death do us part we mean it and we're gonna fight for each other and i think i had so much

01:02:04.480 confidence in him that he would fight for me and i know he has so much confidence in me that i would

01:02:09.120 fight for him and that was a big part of discovering each other and the commitment we made to each other

01:02:14.480 and one of the reasons i chose them like there's no prenup you know there's no like well if it doesn't

01:02:18.960 work out in the future we'll divorce it's like no we're in it together for life and there's so much

01:02:24.080 i think beauty in that absolutely and i say something i've said at a couple of weddings

01:02:30.000 definitely to friends who are getting married is you don't you choose love every day love is not

01:02:37.760 something that you just feel it's not just something that happens to you when you get married there are

01:02:42.240 days where it's not going to be easy and you choose love every single day and that's how you have a

01:02:48.160 marriage that lasts and so i definitely agree that it's not that my husband and i very much feel the

01:02:55.360 same way and that's how i knew that i trusted him and i trusted us to get married was because

01:03:00.640 neither one of us was ever thinking divorce was on the table it was when we get married this is

01:03:05.360 forever we're gonna choose love every day so and feeling feelings come and go whether because you

01:03:13.520 there's something you find you don't like about your spouse you get annoyed or you have disagreements

01:03:17.520 or misunderstandings or you know you just change as a person and you know that is part of life

01:03:23.760 and that's the power of choice and our feelings do ultimately get connected back to our choices

01:03:28.960 like if we're choosing and practicing in our own minds to understand our spouse and to forgive and

01:03:34.560 to love feelings will come you know feelings go but feelings come and so i can say today i have more

01:03:39.600 passion and love for my husband than i did when we got married that's not because it was like this

01:03:43.520 steady like you know linear passion growing you know there's definitely been moments where we had

01:03:48.560 hard moments already and you know we're three years in but that's normal that's being human

01:03:54.000 and we shouldn't be we should be afraid of that yeah absolutely so how did you and your husband meet

01:04:01.440 so we met through my brother highly recommend getting introduced by your brother um my brother is also

01:04:09.120 joe my husband's joe and he's joe and they were working at the same they had the same um job you know

01:04:16.160 working their colleagues and um they're they found out that they're both the oldest of eight kids

01:04:23.360 so my husband's oldest of eight my brother's oldest of eight and they're both joe and they

01:04:28.720 had the same similar jobs and they're both from the bay area and they're both like tall and handsome

01:04:35.600 um athletic and so anyways my brother i had actually just moved back so abby i was living

01:04:40.160 in dc i think you're in dc now right right outside of it yeah okay yeah it's a super fun city but i was

01:04:45.920 like burnt out i'd been there for over four years and i'm like i miss california so and i also had the

01:04:50.720 sense like i'm gonna meet the guy in california i just had this sense you know i was i dated a lot

01:04:55.600 in dc you know it didn't work out and so i moved back to california for live action and to be closer

01:05:01.360 to my family and two months later um and my husband actually joe you know i didn't know him yet but he

01:05:07.680 had been in the navy and he had been traveling the world serving our country and like he'd been all over

01:05:12.560 the planet literally and then this was his second career now and so he had actually just moved

01:05:17.040 back to the bay area too so we had both just moved back um he moved back like a year before me i think

01:05:22.400 and then you know two months later i meet him my brother introduces us and the rest is history

01:05:27.280 it's amazing i love that that's the best i we were introduced by a mutual friend not my brother

01:05:33.120 but a mutual friend what did your brother think when you started dating your husband

01:05:39.760 well i think i mean they they definitely liked each other and jacob is as conservative as the rest of my

01:05:45.600 family so that was great he fit right in um my husband talks a bit more than my brother does

01:05:51.600 surprisingly i suppose if you listen to his podcast

01:05:57.120 but i think my brother was kind of taken aback because jacob is uh loquacious which i love about

01:06:02.800 him but it's uh he definitely does have a lot to say so it was it was a little funny but also what my

01:06:09.040 husband and i we went very quickly so we dated for five and a half months got engaged and then we're

01:06:14.960 married uh one day under a year from having started dating so yeah i think my family was

01:06:22.000 mostly just kind of like oh this is happening quickly i guess i guess he's in the family forever

01:06:28.880 now exactly yeah yeah it was it was pretty quick i mean we we we decided i think we pretty quickly

01:06:37.360 into the relationship because we both like knew what we were looking for we both dated a lot and so

01:06:41.920 i think we knew pretty quickly that we wanted to marry each other it took a little time to sort

01:06:46.160 pieces out but it's kind of similar my fam my family that was really pro joe you know because

01:06:50.880 he was so like much like my brother joe weirdly so they were just like he's great he felt he already

01:06:55.840 kind of felt like family in a way which is which is awesome that is the best yeah and i'm so happy

01:07:00.560 because my family everyone gets along so well so when my and my husband gets along with my parents

01:07:06.080 and i get along with his parents it's i always make the joke that we will call each other's parents

01:07:10.880 just for fun like while we're driving just to say hi and i know a lot of people have you know some

01:07:17.600 tension between their in-laws and uh that's just not been the case for us thank god i feel very

01:07:22.480 blessed that that has not been our situation that's awesome so work-life balance you are you know a

01:07:31.520 mother a wife and you run this amazing organization so how do you balance life and work and what has

01:07:39.920 stayed the same or changed since becoming a mother mm-hmm so it's definitely changed the way i see

01:07:48.640 time i was already trying to be productive with my time before becoming a mom but now i'm even more

01:07:54.800 sensitive to you know when i'm with my son being present to him or trying to just be with him and

01:08:00.000 then when i'm doing my work just focusing on my work and i mean time blocking is what they call it like

01:08:05.280 i'm going to do this uninterrupted and then i'm going to break and i'm going to just go have lunch

01:08:09.600 with my son or whatever um so it's definitely taught me even more time focus focus time um i'm

01:08:18.160 also surprised at how much i can get by with less sleep um i slept a lot i realized when i was like

01:08:24.560 single and didn't have kids i'm like wow i'm okay with six hours i'm doing this you know it's life is

01:08:29.280 still great i'm still working it out so that's a work in progress so it's always going to be a work in

01:08:33.760 progress like there's it's like the dance daily dance of figuring out life but um i think time

01:08:39.120 blocking has helped um delegating and asking for help like ask going out of my way and like asking

01:08:44.640 you know my mom you know she lives an hour away but mom can you come over this day to help with peter

01:08:49.040 and like you know be there for him and i have this busy work day um that's been really um important for

01:08:55.440 me and a change because before i was pretty independent i was very independent i didn't really ask for

01:08:59.360 help very much so asking for help more as i'm on and something i've learned um i think also

01:09:06.080 delegating my work to other people so you know there's parts of live action that i did where i

01:09:11.520 would just work you know 10 hour days and i would work on the weekends and now it's like no i want to

01:09:16.000 be present for my family like my family comes first actually and so in order to make that possible

01:09:21.760 there's a lot of other amazing people who are on my team and i know not everybody has this option with

01:09:27.520 their jobs and i'm extremely grateful that i've i kind of focused on building live action so that

01:09:33.520 when i would become a wife and a mom i would have a team who could do the heavy lifting i mean who

01:09:38.960 could really do so much of the work and i'm still working hard but i'm limiting my hours so that's

01:09:44.080 been another key to um you know having that focus time as a mom and being able to be there for my family

01:09:51.120 yeah i think the i always ask you know the women who come on my channel this question because i think

01:09:57.120 this is something we're all trying to figure out and i i like to be realistic about it because i

01:10:01.440 think very often you're told by this feminist narrative that you can do it all yeah no one

01:10:06.560 no one has that many hours in the day so how do we how do we figure it out how do we and there's a

01:10:13.360 there's a team behind you i mean if you see a woman who's like doing it all like she has kids and a full

01:10:20.560 time job and she has you know all this amazing career and like you know she always looks super put together

01:10:26.800 and all of this stuff like she's not doing that all by herself she has people helping her with

01:10:31.040 her kids um you know she probably has um people enabling her to take time for her own physical

01:10:38.640 care you know like there's there's there's a village and you know i i think it's all the more

01:10:43.920 made me all the more passionate to try to help other moms because some moms don't have that village

01:10:48.800 you know especially like single moms i have so much more respect i mean i respected them a ton before

01:10:53.200 having babies but now it's like wow i mean look at what you do um or moms that don't get a lot of

01:10:59.040 help from their partners maybe or whatever it might be and so i think it also um reminds us the

01:11:04.400 importance of helping each other and trying to go out of our way to serve each other and then also

01:11:08.320 to know that no woman is doing it on her own you know we need help in order to to do it you know to

01:11:16.480 to be the mom and to be the boss and to be the different things we're going to be absolutely i mean

01:11:21.760 community is everything and then of course you have family and friends and and recognizing

01:11:27.440 like you said that it's not you taking it on alone and then the women who do we need to be there for

01:11:32.880 we need to figure out how we can help and not prepare yourself too because i think there's a

01:11:39.200 temptation to see the woman that looks like like on instagram and she's like perfectly dressed and like

01:11:44.640 the kids always look so perfect and she has this amazing lifestyle and job and you just it all looks

01:11:49.600 so perfect and keep in mind like you don't see what's behind the scenes and you don't see the

01:11:55.120 help that she does have you know you don't see the kind of the the the the things behind the scenes that

01:11:59.840 are enabling her to do that and the struggles that she has so it's also just important to i think not

01:12:04.720 compare ourselves and it's harder as a mom because you're like how do i be a good mom and you're like

01:12:09.440 looking at other moms like you know scrolling around like the mom insta feeds like how do what do i feed

01:12:14.800 my son for lunch that's the most healthy meal you know and it's like you know step back a little bit

01:12:19.840 and just do your best right do your best be confident in yourself um you know you're blessed

01:12:26.720 you're gifted you can do this and i think that also is an important message for moms totally

01:12:34.080 so my last question today is dealing with the hate that you get because being a conservative

01:12:41.200 influencer i get a lot of hate for being openly conservative and i know you do for what you

01:12:46.640 for your uh advocacy organization for pro-life organization for you know everything that you

01:12:53.040 work on i think my subscribers would love to know how do you deal with it so it's a great question um

01:13:02.720 i actually talk about this a lot in fighting for life i just spent a year working on describing

01:13:08.320 what i do when i face attacks you know because i i think it is a it i think it can be risk

01:13:13.440 preventing people from even being open about their beliefs because they're afraid of the pushback

01:13:19.200 and that's so sad you know you have a belief you have moral clarity on something and

01:13:23.520 you're afraid to say it because people are going to get mad at you so i i totally can understand

01:13:28.640 that um a couple things that have helped me is number one recognizing and and focusing on what

01:13:36.160 i'm fighting for you know why do i believe what i believe um why do i want to stand up and and fight

01:13:44.000 for this cause or you know have this conviction and that really is a courage booster because the

01:13:51.520 person like with abortion there's 2300 children who are in danger of being killed today imagine if 2300

01:13:58.080 toddlers were being taken to be killed in centers legalized killing centers around your community

01:14:04.640 that would get you out of bed to want to go fight for them even if it was unpopular and

01:14:08.480 even if you get pushed back and so knowing that there are children just as valuable as those toddlers

01:14:13.440 just younger and smaller who are being taken to centers to be killed i mean that that gives me courage

01:14:19.120 um heroes i mentioned that earlier heroes give me courage knowing the people that inspire me that

01:14:24.880 went before me that sacrificed so much um like brother teresa i mentioned her corey ten boom um other

01:14:31.120 people that you know martin luther king jr obviously like he went and sacrifice went to jail for what

01:14:36.560 he believed um it takes courage to stand up in the face of attacks and having those people as models

01:14:42.400 helps and then another thing is um being gentle with my own feelings like it's okay to feel afraid

01:14:50.480 it's okay to feel insecure um don't let it stop there though you know we can still make choices no matter

01:14:57.760 how we're feeling there's a lot to be said for standing up even when your knees are shaking right

01:15:02.880 and so when you do stand up when you do speak out even if you're a little bit afraid you build courage

01:15:09.680 for the next time i mean courage is a virtue which is like a muscle you have to practice it to grow

01:15:15.520 it and that's a daily choice even when it's hard it's like getting out of bed on time or going to

01:15:20.000 the gym or eating healthy food it's just doing it even when it's hard and to empower you to do stuff when

01:15:26.480 it's hard having a team or having one other person who's trying to do what's hard with you makes a

01:15:32.880 huge difference that's why we have like fitness communities online where we're like let's get it

01:15:37.040 guys you know so have your i mean i know that's something you're passionate about abby like have

01:15:41.600 your community like find that one person who wants to stand up for what's right to be a person of moral

01:15:47.840 value of to be a person who fights for the vulnerable in the womb um and and let that person you

01:15:54.720 know get your back like even if you know you're doing things separately like at least you know

01:15:59.040 you're in it together and i think that also really helps when you're facing attacks yeah i love that you

01:16:05.920 talk really more about finding the positive and focusing on the positive and focusing on why you're

01:16:11.360 fighting as opposed to you know well when i get hate comments i i feel bad and these are the things that

01:16:18.720 i do no no there's actually a reason why i get the hate comments and that's because i'm doing

01:16:24.160 something important and i think that's and they yeah oh go ahead no i just i think that that's inspiring

01:16:30.720 is to recognize why why that's coming towards you and so it in a way it can it can feel like you are

01:16:39.760 depending on how you want to view it bolstered by it because it means you're doing something right

01:16:43.680 right and i think that you know those people do not determine your value and if you're getting a

01:16:51.440 flack for something it could be because maybe you're being a jerk and you could be nicer i mean

01:16:57.040 it's good to i'm not a believer in like never read the negative comments i actually don't believe that

01:17:02.800 i think some people are well-intentioned and sharing something and and you should consider what

01:17:07.200 other people say but there's a lot of anger and vitriol because if you're speaking the truth and it

01:17:13.120 means it's it's convicting people it's pricking consciences right um we all need that sometimes

01:17:20.160 and you've got you're gonna get blowback and that's where you know you're actually you're actually

01:17:24.560 loving those people by speaking for what's right and standing up for what's right you know we we don't

01:17:30.400 want to allow the lie to continue if there's a lie about human value or dignity or sexuality

01:17:35.600 by being silent you're not loving other people and sometimes by speaking lovingly you can create

01:17:43.040 controversy or even anger but that's ultimately maybe that person's journey they have to go

01:17:48.800 through an angry time maybe they need to hate you or think that they hate you you know for a period of

01:17:53.840 time but what you said is still somewhere in their head or heart you know and maybe it'll come around

01:17:58.640 to them later in life or you know weeks or months later where they're like you know a life experience

01:18:03.440 or something will change for them and you know that troll on the internet you might have actually helped

01:18:08.240 that troll you know um or help that person acting like a troll so i think that's another aspect of

01:18:13.280 it that is important to remember absolutely well thank you so much for coming on today this was fantastic

01:18:21.920 thank you abby thanks for having me and thanks for everything you're doing yeah absolutely so yeah

01:18:27.440 make sure all of my subscribers make sure to give lila rose a follow on all social media i'm

01:18:33.200 gonna link her below i'm gonna link live action below as well make sure to check out her podcast

01:18:38.800 and her new book fighting for life so thank you again for coming on and i hope to have you on again

01:18:44.560 soon sounds good thanks abby thank you guys so much for watching today's episode of let's be classic

01:18:51.520 it was wonderful having lila on make sure to subscribe and hit that notification bell if you'd like to see

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01:19:32.240 you

Classically Abby - May 20, 2021

PRO-LIFE Is Pro-Woman： Talking With PRO-LIFE Activist Lila Rose ｜｜ Let's Be Classic Episode #2

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