Classically Abby - Sarah Therese On Being A Young Mom, Balancing It All, And What Femininity REALLY Looks Like ⧸⧸ Ep. 3

00:00:00.120 Chatting with Sarah Therese about all things motherhood, homemaking, and leaving YouTube to focus on family.

00:00:07.520 All this and more on today's episode of the Classically Abbey podcast.

00:00:11.960 So I am so excited to have you on today. I'm so excited you're here.

00:00:35.340 Hey, me too.

00:00:37.060 Yeah, well I'm so glad we connected behind the scenes.

00:00:39.380 It's always fun to like meet another YouTuber and another social media content creator.

00:00:45.460 It is cool. It's nice to feel like you're not the only one out there.

00:00:50.500 I feel like so much of the time we follow people and we see people and we're like, oh, this is nice.

00:00:54.400 But we never get to connect on a personal level.

00:00:57.860 So the fact that we've been able to do that is great.

00:01:00.680 And then when I look at your content, I view it as like, oh, this is the stuff my friend is putting out versus just like another face on the internet.

00:01:06.580 So it feels, it feels personal. It feels good. I like it.

00:01:10.140 Yeah, right. And it's like, oh, I get to like this friend of mine's content and I know I'm supporting them.

00:01:15.600 And that's really cool.

00:01:17.020 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

00:01:18.020 So I want to have you introduce yourself to my subscribers and tell them a little bit about how you got started on YouTube and then what your message is for your followers.

00:01:28.900 Because you've kind of had this whole journey, this transition in a lot of different ways.

00:01:33.240 So I think it's fascinating.

00:01:35.220 Oh, wow.

00:01:36.340 Yeah, it's such a journey.

00:01:37.540 I mean, like I started social media before social media was even like a full on word.

00:01:42.460 I started over 10 years ago, I was like 16, I was still living at home, and I grew up in a homeschool family.

00:01:51.440 So everything that I did, I was always grouped with another sibling or all of them.

00:01:56.760 So if one of us worked at McDonald's, someone else did.

00:01:59.720 If one of us was doing art or dance, someone else was.

00:02:02.440 If someone was skiing, another person was snowboarding beside them.

00:02:05.660 And I just, I had this desire to do something different.

00:02:09.700 I've always been kind of a creative, crafty person as well.

00:02:13.840 So I was like, how can I, how can I do something different, be crafty, and just kind of really keep this as my own, something that I can invest myself in.

00:02:22.340 So I started doing YouTube before YouTube was even like a big platform.

00:02:26.340 Like there was other video platforms that were so much bigger than YouTube.

00:02:30.260 But I looked at it and I was like, oh, this is beautiful.

00:02:33.040 And it's something that I started off with a lot of kind of like outward appearance.

00:02:38.220 It was hair, it was beauty.

00:02:39.980 And that's, I guess, as like a 15, 16-year-old, that was really important to me.

00:02:45.640 And then as time went on and I got married and I had kids, it totally flipped to something that was less about what we looked like and more about the heart.

00:02:54.980 And like what we did and sharing my ordinary life.

00:02:58.500 I guess what I really want to put out to my followers is that I'm sharing my ordinary.

00:03:04.240 I'm not doing anything wickedly fancy or doing anything just for the sake of showing it on social media.

00:03:11.340 My life is ordinary and I feel like that's what people enjoy.

00:03:15.580 And that's really what I want to put out to my following is I don't want people to look at me and go, wow, she's glamorous and all this stuff.

00:03:25.960 The message I want to put forward is I have an ordinary life and this is how I find joy in it.

00:03:32.360 And I feel like a lot of people can appreciate that.

00:03:36.000 So this reminds me of a movie that I personally really like called About Time.

00:03:42.780 And the ending, he talks about how it's like his ordinary, extraordinary life.

00:03:47.560 Just that having an ordinary life.

00:03:49.520 And in the movie, it's not about this, but I think for us it is, you know, living an ordinary life in service of God makes it extraordinary.

00:03:56.960 For sure.

00:03:58.020 I mean, it gives value to everything we do.

00:04:00.640 So, um, and, and that's what I, that's what I love is, is, is having just honestly this normal, ordinary, I do dishes and I take care of kids.

00:04:09.380 But, uh, there's value in what I do because it's, it's, yeah, it's for, it's for God's glory.

00:04:15.460 And that's why it's beautiful.

00:04:16.760 And that's why I love to do it.

00:04:18.700 It's not just surface level.

00:04:19.800 It's so, so deep.

00:04:21.600 I think that's so important.

00:04:23.360 And I know that so many people need to see that on the internet because we see so many people who are showing off how amazingly fancy their lives are, or just showing all of the like perfection and this pursuit of perfection.

00:04:37.100 That's just not real.

00:04:38.520 And seeing people live an ordinary life is really good.

00:04:43.080 Like it makes you stronger in the way that you approach your life, I think.

00:04:49.040 Yeah.

00:04:49.520 So how did you know that you wanted to be a young mama and that you wanted a big family? 0.98

00:04:56.300 Cause that's like a big staple of what you, of what you kind of show is that you're what 20, how old are you now?

00:05:02.860 27?

00:05:03.980 Ooh, I am 27.

00:05:05.420 I'll be 28 in April.

00:05:07.460 Okay.

00:05:08.080 Okay.

00:05:08.480 So I was, I got the age, right.

00:05:10.240 And you have five kiddos.

00:05:12.120 Yeah.

00:05:12.580 Yeah.

00:05:13.200 I know.

00:05:13.820 I know.

00:05:14.960 It's wild.

00:05:16.160 It's wild.

00:05:16.760 But I, I highly recommend it for young people.

00:05:19.640 So when, uh, when I got married, I was 19 and me and my husband kind of had it made up like, oh, we'll give ourselves a couple of years before having kids.

00:05:29.060 And there was, uh, like older couples around us that were, uh, just married and they decided we're going to travel.

00:05:36.380 We're going to do all this stuff before we have kids.

00:05:38.660 And me and Kieran realized really early on that, uh, we didn't have the means of traveling.

00:05:45.020 We didn't have the time to do it and we didn't have the money to do it.

00:05:47.500 And, um, I, I remember not even wanting to be like all these other people and, uh, traveling and doing all this like really beautiful stuff together.

00:05:59.240 I remember not wanting that, but praying and being like, Lord, what do you, what do you want from me?

00:06:04.940 Because I need something here and I'm missing something here.

00:06:07.440 So very early on, we realized because we didn't have the means to, to travel and do all this fancy stuff.

00:06:14.520 We have the means to be really young parents and be cool young parents.

00:06:18.160 So that was, uh, something that was really laid on my heart.

00:06:22.400 And then also Kieran's heart as well, to be young parents.

00:06:26.260 And the interesting thing about it is I wasn't looking at any of my friends going, Oh, you're a young mom.

00:06:32.640 I want to be a young mom.

00:06:33.760 I was the only married and young mom in my friends group.

00:06:38.780 So there was no sort of, I liked the idea of being a young mom.

00:06:43.260 Cause I can be a young mom with my friend.

00:06:45.380 It was really like when I decided and the Lord laid it on my heart to be a young mom.

00:06:50.020 It was like, Oh no, in so many ways, because I knew I was going to be lonely and I knew it was

00:06:56.600 going to be a hard transition.

00:06:58.900 But I also know, honestly, my entire growing up years, I was the mom.

00:07:05.100 I remember someone telling me that I wasn't the oldest sibling.

00:07:08.060 So I have two older brothers and a younger sister.

00:07:10.500 And for years I thought I was the oldest sibling out of all of them because I naturally just

00:07:15.220 have this mothering, like nurturing heart.

00:07:18.160 And I want to take care of things and, uh, I also want to have control over things.

00:07:22.760 So the idea of being a young mom was like, wow.

00:07:25.060 And, and, uh, but I remember a woman coming up to me at our church and being like, you realize

00:07:30.580 you're not the oldest sibling, like out of your siblings.

00:07:34.660 And that never clicked for me.

00:07:36.920 And I was absolutely shocked by that.

00:07:38.860 So the idea of becoming a young mom made sense money-wise time-wise.

00:07:42.880 And also just, I love the idea of pouring out my heart to not just children, but my children.

00:07:50.500 This felt, uh, important to me.

00:07:53.100 This felt, uh, like something that would be extremely fulfilling.

00:07:57.280 And it was something that Kieran was really excited about too.

00:08:00.980 So the idea of being a young mom, the more I thought about it, the more, the less I had

00:08:07.480 to think about it just because it was so obvious, uh, of a decision to make.

00:08:12.380 So we literally, we got married and a year later I had my daughter Ivy at the age of 20.

00:08:19.580 Oh my gosh.

00:08:20.280 It's so funny because I talked to my husband about this, Jacob, and to my mom about it.

00:08:26.600 Honestly, the idea that I think we live in a culture that encourages people to like do

00:08:32.660 all this fun stuff, fun stuff.

00:08:35.040 I put in quotations as if parenting isn't fun, but like this fun stuff while they're young,

00:08:40.080 like travel the world, spend your money in kind of a frivolous way.

00:08:44.260 And my perspective on that has totally shifted as I realized, why don't we encourage people

00:08:50.200 like while they're in their healthy, young, trying to save money years, why don't we encourage

00:08:56.820 them to like be young parents and in, you know, you can pull an all nighter when you're

00:09:02.020 20 and it doesn't kill you in the same way it does when you're 37.

00:09:05.540 Right.

00:09:05.820 So like if you have a baby at 37, it's a lot harder than when you're 20.

00:09:09.200 Um, and you know, at that time, you're not thinking about how you can't spend, you know,

00:09:16.900 a certain amount of money because you need to save for a house.

00:09:18.660 For example, you're doing everything at the time, like when you're young.

00:09:22.300 And then by the time you're in your fifties, sixties, your kids are grown, they're in college,

00:09:25.760 they're getting married, they're having children.

00:09:27.520 That's when you can spend your money a little bit more frivolously because you don't have

00:09:30.720 to worry about those costs and you're not stressing about costs anymore.

00:09:35.500 That's right.

00:09:36.000 Me and Kieran always say, we're going to be such cool young grandparents.

00:09:40.360 Like, and I think it was my sister, Rachel, who recently said, she said, if, if your daughter

00:09:45.080 Ivy is anything like you, you'll be a grandma in less than 14 years in less than 14 years. 0.98

00:09:52.780 And that is insane to me, but I love the idea of all the kids being out of the house and me

00:09:58.640 and Kieran are still young and we still get to enjoy each other.

00:10:02.040 And then we also get to witness our kids becoming parents and then those kids becoming parents.

00:10:08.060 Right.

00:10:08.480 So I, I feel like because we started earlier, we get to live our lives in a very different

00:10:13.600 way than people who started later.

00:10:15.840 And a lot of people will choose to start later.

00:10:19.040 And there's so many people that wish they could have started, uh, sooner and they weren't

00:10:24.440 able to.

00:10:25.040 So like there's grace there, but, um, I highly recommend if you can get married young and can

00:10:31.780 have kids young, uh, do it, but also be very, very intentional with who you choose to do that

00:10:37.900 with.

00:10:39.240 Yeah.

00:10:39.680 I think that's a great advice.

00:10:41.180 I love that.

00:10:42.180 So one of the things I, I got, I gotta ask because I actually, before we, we knew each

00:10:47.900 other, um, a friend of mine and I used to watch your videos and we would talk about you homeschool,

00:10:55.160 you create content, you raise your kiddos, you're a wonderful wife.

00:11:00.300 Wow.

00:11:01.100 How do you manage it all?

00:11:02.700 How do you keep all of the plates in the air as a mom, as a mom of only one little toddler? 1.00

00:11:09.320 Not easy.

00:11:10.040 I'm trying to create content.

00:11:11.200 I'm still like, I've never vacuumed.

00:11:13.260 Like I've never washed a dish.

00:11:14.840 I just don't have time to do anything.

00:11:17.640 So I'm, I'm always wondering how do people like you get it all done?

00:11:23.120 How do I get it all done?

00:11:26.920 It's not, it's not easy.

00:11:28.580 And I think so many people look at my life and they're wanting that easy explanation of

00:11:32.140 like, Oh, the X, Y, and Z.

00:11:33.960 And that's, that's not what it is at all.

00:11:36.640 Um, when it comes down to it, scheduling is huge for me.

00:11:40.540 Uh, I have a lot of friends who will, uh, be like, Oh, Sarah, I wish, I wish you could

00:11:46.280 just do things last minute.

00:11:47.740 And I just can't like, they know if they, Hey, last minute, you want to go here, want

00:11:52.520 to do this.

00:11:52.980 I absolutely can't because my whole week, maybe my whole month is really rigorously

00:11:57.580 scheduled out.

00:11:58.300 Uh, it's also finding, uh, joy and saying no to people for the sake of my own, uh, mental

00:12:05.160 health, for the sake of my kids, my husband and, and how our home works.

00:12:09.780 Um, and you know what, there was that time of YouTube where I was thriving and doing great.

00:12:16.120 And then all of a sudden I felt, um, overly busy and preoccupied with it.

00:12:21.860 And in my heart, let me adjust my earpiece in my heart.

00:12:27.920 I felt, um, a pull, uh, towards my kids.

00:12:33.020 And I felt kind of embarrassed and ashamed about the amount of time that I was starting

00:12:36.780 to put into YouTube and forgetting about my kids.

00:12:38.720 So I, I had to learn to actually say no to YouTube.

00:12:42.040 So, so many people are like, Oh, I can say no to this and that.

00:12:45.740 Um, and those are small things.

00:12:47.500 But for me, I have, I've learned to say no to big things in order to make my life work,

00:12:52.760 uh, properly and, and to love on my family properly.

00:12:56.260 But I mean, say no to things.

00:12:58.640 Scheduling is huge.

00:13:00.100 Um, raising independent children is huge as well.

00:13:03.820 I recently saw a comment on one of my videos talking about like, how do you get your kids

00:13:08.920 to not be on you all the time?

00:13:10.880 And be like, mom, hold me, hug me, touch me, be with me.

00:13:13.680 And, uh, and it just comes down to raising independent kids.

00:13:16.760 And, uh, I also learned very early on that the more that I reach out to my kids, the less

00:13:23.120 they will rely on themselves to reach out to me.

00:13:25.140 So basically what that is, is if, if you're not reaching out to your kids enough, they're

00:13:31.380 going to be here all the time, all around you, because they're going, I have to rely

00:13:36.380 on my two-year-old, three-year-old, four-year-old self to get my mom's attention.

00:13:40.560 When really what we can be doing for our kids is I'm going to give you the attention that

00:13:45.720 you need, and they won't feel like they have that obligation to reach out because you're

00:13:51.460 doing it first.

00:13:52.660 Uh, and that's a huge key to raising independent kids is I'm here for you.

00:13:57.940 And I'm going to let you know that first, so you don't have to be around me all the

00:14:01.820 time looking for that type of security and attention.

00:14:05.540 So my, and my kids are amazing, but I did, I did have to leave YouTube for the sake of

00:14:10.520 them.

00:14:10.980 And then Kieran also had to leave his job and start working at home with us so we could,

00:14:15.620 uh, continue this.

00:14:17.060 So our lives are very different.

00:14:19.180 It's not traditional, but we try to honor the Lord through it.

00:14:22.140 And also just really love on each other as a family and take care of these kiddos.

00:14:27.360 It's wild.

00:14:28.440 I will tell you my every day is so wild and so busy, uh, but I love it.

00:14:33.200 I really, really love it.

00:14:34.440 And it's changing all the time because I have ages from seven to newborn.

00:14:39.380 So they're all in, in different stages, but yeah, it's, it's crazy, but I love it.

00:14:44.460 I love that.

00:14:46.980 No, I mean, I think that it is so important to keep a schedule.

00:14:49.640 And also I love exactly what you're saying about, about reaching out to your kids so

00:14:55.100 they don't have to feel like they have to reach out to you first.

00:14:57.200 I, I, I try with my son to, um, kind of build into our day moments where I'm totally focused

00:15:04.780 on him, even at this age where I'm like, let's read a book.

00:15:08.260 And he's like, does read a book mean I ripped the book?

00:15:10.680 And I'm like, okay, sure.

00:15:12.720 Do I eat someone?

00:15:15.540 Does that, whatever, whatever you need for us to feel like we're spending time together.

00:15:19.700 And a lot of the time that just means it's very interesting because you would think it

00:15:23.500 means like really interactive play that, that would make him feel like he's getting enough

00:15:29.000 attention from me.

00:15:29.680 But often it's just, I, you know, this is him speaking.

00:15:32.740 I want to play while mommy sits here and just watches. 0.99

00:15:36.960 Like I, I, I work, he doesn't want to roll a ball back and forth necessarily.

00:15:40.360 He wants to play while I just am there with him and not on my phone and not doing anything

00:15:45.300 else.

00:15:45.700 And that is such an interesting way to look at things.

00:15:49.480 And I think also I've had to learn that so much of parenting, I think we put a lot of

00:15:56.120 pressure on ourselves in the modern era to entertain our children, as opposed to have

00:16:00.480 them come along with us with what we're doing.

00:16:02.620 So I built him like a little stool to help me at the counter.

00:16:06.080 And instead of saying, okay, you go over there and do something else.

00:16:09.760 And I know, I know he's a baby, but I still want him to be involved.

00:16:12.940 So I was like, okay, yeah, you're going to play with the pieces while I'm building things.

00:16:17.360 For sure.

00:16:18.120 I know if, if we welcome our kids to do things alongside us, then they'll always feel like

00:16:23.880 they're there and they're always involved.

00:16:25.760 And like, I have random jars of old kidney beans and rice and whatever.

00:16:31.100 And if I am making something and I, maybe I don't want my kids to touch it, I will have

00:16:35.580 my bowl of things that I'm actually doing in the kitchen that will be for dinner or whatever.

00:16:39.580 And, uh, I will have my one and a half year old beside me on a stool and she has dried beans 0.70

00:16:45.820 and she is mimicking what I'm doing.

00:16:48.140 They just want to be close and they want to be involved and they want to also know that

00:16:53.080 they're welcome to do so, um, the worst thing I feel like you can do as a parent is go to

00:16:57.760 your room, go to your room and then close the door.

00:16:59.740 And they're by themselves.

00:17:01.180 Um, our kids learn and heal and grow when they're right beside us.

00:17:06.360 And if they know they're welcomed right beside us, pretty much constantly, they won't feel

00:17:12.180 like they have to be beside us constantly because in the back of their minds, they know, Hey,

00:17:16.880 whenever I need be by mama or Peppa or even each other as siblings, uh, I have the ability to do so.

00:17:22.500 So, yeah, that's how I do it.

00:17:25.380 I love it.

00:17:26.940 Okay.

00:17:27.820 Let's talk about embracing femininity because, you know, you, I would say your fashion and style

00:17:35.280 is a little bit different than like typical femininity, but you are an incredibly feminine 1.00

00:17:40.100 person, an incredibly feminine woman.

00:17:42.580 So what does femininity look like to you? 1.00

00:17:45.640 Yeah, I, I, um, I've had a lot of people be like, well, you don't look very girly to me.

00:17:51.920 And, and I think, I think femininity is really, it's a heart thing there. 0.98

00:17:56.740 I have a friend and, um, she has a full on shaved head. 1.00

00:18:00.920 She's like six foot three and she wears, she wears very, uh, masculine looking clothes, but 1.00

00:18:08.760 she's one of the most feminine people that I know. 0.98

00:18:10.940 And that's, that comes really from her heart and how she takes care of her family and on

00:18:16.540 all this stuff.

00:18:17.160 But I mean, femininity to me personally is, is a nurturing heart.

00:18:23.280 Uh, and I know we're going to talk about Exodus in a little bit, and I'm excited about that.

00:18:27.160 But I think, uh, the, the women in the beginning thinking about, uh, the Hebrew midwives and, uh,

00:18:34.100 Moses mother and his, uh, his sister Miriam and even Pharaoh's own daughter, what sets them apart? 0.65

00:18:41.980 Is there nurturing hearts?

00:18:43.680 Like, honestly, you see that with Miriam taking care of Moses and the mother as well.

00:18:48.520 And the Hebrew midwives and right down to Pharaoh's own daughter, there is something, uh, that defines

00:18:54.980 a female in, in, in a very different way than, than male.

00:19:00.020 And it's, it's a nurturing heart.

00:19:02.400 And you see in Exodus that nurturing, loving mothering heart saves and it is powerful and

00:19:09.600 beautiful and is strong.

00:19:11.020 And too many people look at femininity and see it as being something very weak and therefore

00:19:16.680 they don't want to be involved and they push themselves away from it.

00:19:19.800 Where for me, I'm like, this is strength and not like girl boss, girl power, not like that.

00:19:27.020 But this is an inward beauty that too many people, uh, push aside or degrade.

00:19:32.700 So for me, femininity is, it's such a hard thing.

00:19:36.460 And, uh, and I know some girls that dress so girly to the nines, like crazy, but there's 1.00

00:19:42.900 not an ounce of femininity in them.

00:19:45.780 You know what I mean?

00:19:46.620 So for me, it's that nurturing mothering.

00:19:49.840 I want to take care of you and protect you and love on you kind of heart beyond just your

00:19:54.300 own kids and your own family.

00:19:55.860 Yeah.

00:19:57.160 And you're so feminine. 0.98

00:19:58.400 Like I look at you and I'm like your hair, like you're so feminine outwardly, but it's, 0.97

00:20:04.680 it's all the more so inwardly that I, that I see it of you and the content you create and

00:20:09.240 how you love on your family.

00:20:10.400 And it's beautiful, but it has to be focused inward because outward doesn't matter that

00:20:17.860 it's the inward.

00:20:18.660 And I, and I see that in you and I love that.

00:20:21.400 I, uh, I totally agree.

00:20:23.100 And it's something that I, I've had to change and grow over time because initially I was very,

00:20:28.400 I was like you, you kind of described how your first videos on your channel were much

00:20:32.840 more like outwardly focused and mine were too.

00:20:35.200 And I talked a lot about kind of the classic look a lot of the time.

00:20:40.000 And I actually had to make a video just a couple of weeks ago about how classic sort

00:20:45.540 of changes over time and how a lot of it becomes a lot more focused on being the kind of person

00:20:51.800 people can depend on and how you can embrace femininity in different ways.

00:20:55.820 But I do think that it's a hard thing.

00:20:57.500 I totally agree with you.

00:20:59.060 So here's my question.

00:21:00.980 What's your best piece of advice for young women who are dating and how can they embrace

00:21:08.780 their femininity before and that nurturing quality in that stage of life when you're 0.69

00:21:14.400 single?

00:21:15.040 I mean, those are two different questions, really how do you like dating advice and then

00:21:18.300 also just how to embrace femininity when you're single and that nurturing nature?

00:21:22.920 Yeah, because it's hard because that's why so many girls get a puppy or a cat because, 1.00

00:21:28.220 because that they have that natural inclination of like, I'm just going to take care of you.

00:21:33.980 But I mean, embracing femininity when you're single, I wouldn't say is hard, but you have 0.91

00:21:42.400 to maybe look for it or, or build yourself up in it.

00:21:47.760 So like before I got married, I was already working towards being a good homemaker.

00:21:54.040 And, and that, that looks different for everyone.

00:21:57.260 For me, a priority in being a good homemaker was organizing and knowing how I would lay

00:22:03.860 things out and cooking and, and also just being, I don't want to say like an appealing

00:22:08.680 person to be around, but someone that, that Kieran would enjoy coming home to.

00:22:13.620 So again, it's working in your heart when it comes to that stuff.

00:22:17.520 But I mean, like, you know what, girl, my advice, my advice for, for these young ladies

00:22:24.580 going out and dating is stop dating men that you wouldn't be proud to have, uh, as your

00:22:29.080 own son. 1.00

00:22:29.940 There are so many women out there that are dating absolute scum and these horrible guys. 1.00

00:22:39.760 And my question is, would you be proud of this man that you're dating if he was your son? 1.00

00:22:44.700 And the answer most of the time is no, I wouldn't be proud because he talks like this.

00:22:49.780 He acts like this.

00:22:50.620 This is how he acts around his friends versus his mom and all this stuff.

00:22:53.940 I remember when I first started dating Kieran and I thought I would love to have kids just

00:22:58.940 like you.

00:23:00.720 That was really important to me.

00:23:03.100 Um, dating can also, I know a lot of people look at it as being super casual, but to myself,

00:23:08.680 uh, you're given little pieces of your heart out.

00:23:11.780 So be intentional when it comes to who you're dating.

00:23:14.340 I only ever dated one person and now I'm married to him and have carried five of his

00:23:18.660 children.

00:23:19.340 So, um, so I was very, very, very careful and, and I'm so thankful that I was, but yeah,

00:23:25.280 when it comes to whoever you're dating, just be thoughtful about it.

00:23:29.020 Is this the kind of person you would want to raise your daughters?

00:23:31.440 You know, like think this stuff through because this stuff is important and dating is not the

00:23:37.620 only way that you get to know someone as well.

00:23:40.280 There's other ways you can get to know people without having to break off little pieces of

00:23:44.500 your, of your beautiful heart, uh, and sacrificing them in, in honestly, really sad ways.

00:23:50.480 So that's my mom dating advice.

00:23:55.240 I love it.

00:23:56.280 I love it.

00:23:56.800 And it's a different perspective than I've heard before, because usually you hear don't

00:24:00.500 date some, at least for me, my advice is usually don't date someone that you wouldn't want to

00:24:05.340 be the father of your children.

00:24:07.160 That's right.

00:24:08.080 That's right.

00:24:08.960 Hi, Elizabeth is here.

00:24:11.580 What your phone, your lip gloss.

00:24:14.520 Oh, your phone.

00:24:15.760 Hey, go see if Papa can find your phone and your lip gloss, which is not real lip gloss

00:24:22.060 because I do not let my three-year-old wear lip gloss.

00:24:25.240 Hey, go find your Papa.

00:24:28.480 Oh, and don't go into Calvin's room or Molly's room just because they're napping.

00:24:35.280 Oh, yes.

00:24:40.300 Loving parenthood.

00:24:41.480 I love it.

00:24:42.040 My baby is on a walk with his dad so that he can take a nap because he wouldn't go down

00:24:46.980 before this, uh, for this recording.

00:24:49.300 So, you know, you have to do what you have to do, especially when you work from home.

00:24:53.380 The amount of, uh, the amount of prep that just goes into you trying to make content where

00:24:58.220 your kids aren't hanging off the walls is insane. 0.57

00:25:02.380 So are you back?

00:25:04.260 Hold on.

00:25:04.820 Let me text.

00:25:05.540 Oh, it's a different one.

00:25:07.460 If you have lots of kids, this will happen here.

00:25:10.760 Here, let me text Kieran.

00:25:11.740 Here, come on out. 0.89

00:25:12.500 Come on out.

00:25:13.340 And don't, hey, Calvin, and don't go in your room just because Edmund is sleeping.

00:25:18.760 Yes, Calvin?

00:25:20.740 What did Ellie say to you? 1.00

00:25:23.040 I have no idea because my friend Abby is in my ears.

00:25:28.200 He's like, wow, your friend Abby is in your ears.

00:25:30.420 Well, I think that that's a good place to stop the interview portion and move into the

00:25:38.600 faith section, but, uh, let's get into it.

00:25:42.240 Okay.

00:25:42.580 Let's do it.

00:25:43.540 Okay.

00:25:43.880 So for our faith talk, before we get into it, I wanted to ask you, how do you engage with

00:25:50.160 your faith each and every day?

00:25:51.840 Like, what's something you do every day to engage with your faith?

00:25:55.960 Um, it's, you know what I realized is growing up, my faith was make sure you read your Bible

00:26:03.440 in the morning and then it was done.

00:26:05.220 And, and it was, uh, my faith growing up was a checklist.

00:26:09.600 Oh, I did this and check it off.

00:26:11.840 And, um, and, uh, you know, that is a bad thing.

00:26:15.040 I know some people are like, oh, that's not a bad thing.

00:26:16.700 Cause you're still reading your Bible.

00:26:17.920 I'm like, no, no, no, that was a bad thing.

00:26:19.580 So now engaging with my faith every day is that it's not turned off and I don't look

00:26:24.080 at it as, oh, check Mark is done.

00:26:26.100 It is a constant thing, whether I'm in the word or prayer.

00:26:30.400 Um, I love listening to the Bible.

00:26:32.680 I'm doing a read to the Bible listening thing with my church, which is great.

00:26:37.080 And then also engaging with your faith is, is made easy and quite beautiful when your kids

00:26:45.500 are, uh, uh, knowing about the Lord.

00:26:48.200 And then also when your husband loves the Lord as well.

00:26:51.080 And it's like a group family thing.

00:26:53.380 And you're just surrounded by it and, and worship music and all that stuff.

00:26:57.320 So engaging with my faith, it's just the idea that I don't want to live with a check mark.

00:27:02.620 It's, it's more of a savings account where I'm just continually pouring myself into it.

00:27:07.720 So, um, it's, it's as simple as that.

00:27:10.740 And if you're, if you do that, it becomes habit, it becomes normal and, and you can't

00:27:16.000 help, but pray or read the word or, or desire it.

00:27:19.640 You could say, yeah, I love it.

00:27:22.160 I love it.

00:27:22.820 So everyone listen to that, take it into your own lives.

00:27:28.440 Uh, so the, what I wanted to talk about today.

00:27:31.020 So every week we talk about, uh, the Torah portion that we're reading and this week's

00:27:35.800 Torah portion in Hebrew is called Va'era, which means, and I appeared in English.

00:27:40.020 And this is the second Torah portion in Exodus.

00:27:42.880 So we are getting deep into the redemption from Egypt story.

00:27:46.520 Uh, God tells Moses that he's going to redeem the children from the children of Israel from 0.99

00:27:50.840 Egypt.

00:27:51.700 Moses and Aaron repeatedly come to Pharaoh asking for him to let his, asking for him to let

00:27:56.580 the people go.

00:27:57.520 And Pharaoh says, no, and to show God's power, Aaron, Aaron turns his staff into a snake.

00:28:03.660 Pharaoh's necromancers replicate the trick, but to their surprise, Aaron's snake eats their 0.91

00:28:07.560 snakes.

00:28:07.960 Uh, so that's pretty interesting.

00:28:11.000 And Pharaoh remains hard hearted.

00:28:13.520 Moses and Aaron bring down the plagues upon the Egyptians, blood, frogs, lice, wild animals,

00:28:17.960 pestilence, boils, and hail.

00:28:19.820 And Pharaoh asks Moses to save the Egyptians and promises to let the Jews go multiple times.

00:28:24.860 But each time the plague stops, Pharaoh hardens his heart and changes his mind.

00:28:29.640 So one of the things I wanted to talk about, uh, because this is something I learned about

00:28:35.020 in school.

00:28:35.600 And I don't know if you ever focused on this, uh, when you were studying the old Testament

00:28:39.320 is the verse, but the Lord strengthened Pharaoh's heart and he did not hearken to him, hearken

00:28:45.600 to them as the Lord spoke to Moses.

00:28:47.220 Did you guys ever talk about that?

00:28:48.780 Oh, no, no, no, not too much.

00:28:51.500 You know what?

00:28:52.240 When, um, whenever we went into Exodus, we were full on deep into just learning about the

00:28:58.980 plagues.

00:28:59.460 And I, and I, I feel like, oh, I really liked learning about the plagues.

00:29:04.920 But there are certain things, especially when it came to Pharaoh, because what an interesting

00:29:08.080 person, uh, that we didn't look, uh, deep into, but I think just in that verse in general,

00:29:14.800 it's like, you are reminded who is in control.

00:29:18.080 God is in control.

00:29:18.940 And he is the one that is controlling Pharaoh here for his glory.

00:29:22.520 Um, but no, we never, like, if I could have done a character study on anyone in the Bible,

00:29:28.540 uh, it probably would have been Pharaoh or Boaz, because I think those people are just

00:29:33.080 absolutely phenomenal.

00:29:35.000 Yes.

00:29:35.720 Boaz is wonderful.

00:29:37.240 And, uh, Pharaoh is, is, uh, is so interesting.

00:29:41.940 And so I, I always, I wanted to talk about this verse because I think it's fascinating,

00:29:46.900 right?

00:29:47.340 Because this is the only time in this specific Torah portion that it says that God,

00:29:52.500 God strengthened his heart.

00:29:53.540 Every other verse, it says that Pharaoh hardened his own heart.

00:29:58.340 So why would God go out of his way to harden Pharaoh's heart?

00:30:03.280 If the whole point of the plagues is for him to try to convince Pharaoh to let the children 0.91

00:30:08.900 of Israel go, like, why would God do that? 0.93

00:30:12.000 Oh, that's a good question.

00:30:15.180 Right?

00:30:15.920 Can I call a friend?

00:30:17.220 So I, I was trying to think about it and I've thought about, and there's a lot of commentaries

00:30:24.020 that, that kind of think, talk about this idea, but I had an idea and I'm not nearly as smart

00:30:29.700 as the commentaries, but I will share what I thought.

00:30:31.940 And then I want to hear maybe what you think about it, because I think we can kind of start

00:30:35.020 a discussion about it, which is this passage, this verse immediately follows this verse.

00:30:41.560 And the necromancers could not stand before Moses because of the boils, this is the plague

00:30:46.460 were on the boils, for the boils were upon the necromancers and upon all of Egypt. 0.83

00:30:51.780 So throughout the plagues, the necromancers try to replicate the plagues that God rains

00:30:56.700 down on the Egyptians. 1.00

00:30:58.040 And if they can, it proves to Pharaoh that God isn't real.

00:31:01.400 He's not powerful.

00:31:02.460 Like, it's not a big deal.

00:31:04.060 Okay, blood's coming out of the Nile.

00:31:05.520 Well, my necromancers can do the same thing.

00:31:07.080 So this must not be that, that cool.

00:31:10.320 This is the first time that the necromancers not only can't replicate it, but they can't

00:31:15.800 even appear before Moses because they were so affected by God's plague.

00:31:20.420 So wounded.

00:31:21.460 Right.

00:31:21.740 And this is the first time that Pharaoh is seeing how truly powerful God is.

00:31:27.620 So here's where my idea comes in.

00:31:30.160 What does it mean that God hardened his heart?

00:31:32.280 Not that God actively hardened Pharaoh's heart, but actually what it could mean is that seeing

00:31:40.420 God's miracles so clearly hardened Pharaoh's heart because he didn't want to acknowledge

00:31:45.500 that there was a God above him.

00:31:47.340 And the clearer it became that God was the one doing the miracles, the more he fought it.

00:31:53.020 For sure, because, because up to that point, he was anti-God, you know, he was, he was obsessed

00:32:01.500 with, uh, with, uh, the sun God and all that stuff.

00:32:04.600 And each plague is actually attacking another Egyptian God, which I find is so amazing. 1.00

00:32:10.600 But, um, a lot of people, uh, when it really clicks, there is a God, there's that fear in

00:32:17.660 their hearts because they look back and go, how have I lived my life?

00:32:21.700 And it's intimidating.

00:32:24.200 And also people are intimidated by miracles because they're things that really can't be

00:32:28.100 explained.

00:32:29.200 A miracle is unfathomable.

00:32:31.480 It can feel awkward.

00:32:32.820 Obviously for Pharaoh, he's extremely uncomfortable.

00:32:35.840 So, so that whole idea of him actually seeing there is a God, um, that is terrifying for him. 0.96

00:32:43.900 And also like his necromancers, they are just the craziest people. 0.52

00:32:48.080 Because if, if I were them, and if I had that kind of power, instead of when they turn 0.92

00:32:54.980 the, when God turns the Nile into blood or whatever, the last thing Pharaoh needs here

00:33:00.820 is for more water to be turned into blood.

00:33:03.080 If you were really powerful necromancers, why don't you clean the Nile of all the blood

00:33:07.800 instead of bringing forth more blood?

00:33:10.280 Like it's such an interesting thing that they do.

00:33:13.140 Um, and they're actually making everything worse by, by, by making these plagues all the

00:33:19.720 more so.

00:33:20.140 And, and I honestly think they're attesting more to, to God, uh, in, in heaven, but no,

00:33:26.280 what an, what an interesting thing to think about.

00:33:29.280 That's really, really good.

00:33:29.840 Well, I just think it's so fascinating.

00:33:31.560 The idea that like, when, sometimes when we are faced with truth, it makes us lean harder

00:33:38.820 into the lies that we're used to.

00:33:41.520 Like it makes us, it makes us deny things more when we're faced with something that disproves

00:33:47.760 everything that we've like held dear.

00:33:49.540 And it, it just stands out to me as something that we should be aware of.

00:33:55.680 Like, isn't it important for us when we are, when we see things in our everyday lives that

00:34:02.760 are miracles, we're so used to being logical and rational and having to defend all of our

00:34:10.120 things that we believe from those places that we can't comfortably say like, no, that was

00:34:16.980 God.

00:34:17.420 God, but right.

00:34:19.180 And like the clearer it gets, the more we're like, no, no, no, no, no.

00:34:22.460 Like there's a reason that it turned to blood, the Nile turned to blood.

00:34:25.620 There were probably dead animals in there and that tomato polluted.

00:34:30.020 Yeah.

00:34:30.640 And sometimes it's important for us to say, no, that was actually just God.

00:34:34.700 Like let's view the, the world through the lens of God's presence and know that God is there.

00:34:40.600 And that, and that's faith.

00:34:42.100 Right.

00:34:42.280 And that's why so many people will deny God because that's too much faith.

00:34:46.880 I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, uh, I can't fathom this.

00:34:51.300 This is too much for me.

00:34:52.600 People are so visual.

00:34:54.200 And even when God will send us something extremely visual, there's still a part of us that goes,

00:34:59.140 no, no, no.

00:34:59.640 And, and a lot of that is, again, we're looking back and going, then that was all a waste.

00:35:04.100 Like we, as humans hate the idea of, oh, but that was my God.

00:35:08.920 And now like, whatever the social media was my God, food was my God.

00:35:13.740 My spouse was my God, whatever.

00:35:15.200 And now that I see the actual God, this all feels like a waste.

00:35:18.320 And, um, and that can be hard for us to look back and live with regret.

00:35:22.700 So we will still hold on to those things and it's, and it's dangerous and it's so bad.

00:35:28.180 Um, but really, if we look back on those things and go, oh man, that was all a waste.

00:35:33.660 Now I'm looking towards God and this is where I want to go.

00:35:36.480 That is true fulfillment.

00:35:37.900 And that is true contentment.

00:35:39.460 And, uh, none of this was a waste because it brought us here.

00:35:43.620 And if we have that outlook on this stuff, if Sarah had that outlook on this stuff,

00:35:48.900 think about what, what would have happened to, um, flipping that around.

00:35:53.460 Yeah.

00:35:54.300 Yeah.

00:35:54.580 Very cool.

00:35:55.140 I love it.

00:35:56.120 Yeah.

00:35:56.760 Well, thank you for, uh, for that conversation.

00:36:00.040 And, uh, the last part of the podcast is our subscriber questions.

00:36:05.380 So quick plug, but if you aren't already subscribed to my, uh, sub stack,

00:36:10.320 you will get access to a ton of exclusive content, including my book club, my weekly articles,

00:36:15.300 as well as being able to submit questions for podcasts, just like this.

00:36:19.680 And it's really cool because you're getting to submit them to some of my guests.

00:36:23.500 So Sarah is going to get it, going to get to answer some of the questions today,

00:36:27.320 which is really fun.

00:36:29.700 So head over to classicallyabby.substack.com to become a premium subscriber.

00:36:35.180 But let's start with these questions.

00:36:37.260 We got some really good ones this week.

00:36:38.560 So what do you wear to work out an active wear?

00:36:42.000 And this is going to be different for the two of us because you and I, I think,

00:36:44.720 feel a little differently about kind of maybe where modesty sits and also what is appropriate

00:36:51.220 for active wear.

00:36:52.220 So many active wear outfits these days are like a sports bra or leggings, and I'm wanting

00:36:57.360 to find what's functional for working out and providing coverage, but also not frumpy.

00:37:01.900 So why don't you share your thoughts first?

00:37:04.620 I'd love to hear.

00:37:06.160 You know what?

00:37:06.600 Here, I love, I love leggings, but I don't like when everything is exposed. 0.96

00:37:13.880 So anything longer that covers my butt, I really enjoy.

00:37:18.600 And I find, honestly, any sort of a workout legging. 0.87

00:37:22.520 I really like Girlfriend because they are not see-through.

00:37:25.040 I do not want to wear see-through clothing.

00:37:27.640 They make really beautiful leggings, any supportive sports bra with padding.

00:37:33.120 I really, really enjoy because, and especially something higher up with breastfeeding.

00:37:37.700 Oh my goodness.

00:37:38.220 Like the more coverage we can get, the better, because this is an absolute joke at this point.

00:37:42.100 And muscle, muscle tanks are so great.

00:37:46.520 I think a muscle tank hits you up high. 0.75

00:37:49.080 It covers my butt, and it just looks nice, and it's not frumpy like a big oversized t-shirt. 0.86

00:37:56.240 Layering is great. 0.97

00:37:57.680 I love layering.

00:37:58.980 What do you wear when you work out then?

00:38:01.340 That's a great question.

00:38:01.660 What's your go-to?

00:38:02.420 So here's what I'll say.

00:38:05.340 At this point, I work out from home.

00:38:07.120 So half the time, it's like the pajamas that I wear when I wake up in the morning.

00:38:12.980 But if I want to put on real exercise gear, I totally agree.

00:38:19.660 I will wear leggings and an oversized t-shirt or something cute over the top that covers my bottom.

00:38:26.660 I also think a good trick, if you are like looking to look cute, you can tie a shirt around your waist, and then it'll cover your bottom.

00:38:35.860 So you can like wear a cute top that isn't long enough.

00:38:39.280 But then if you wear like a little jacket or a little shirt tied around your waist, then it covers what you want covered, and you can still wear leggings.

00:38:46.940 I also, like a while back, I would wear leggings with shorts over the top and then a more fitted shirt.

00:38:53.180 It's always a balancing volume and proportions thing, I find, is like if you are wearing leggings and shorts, you can't really wear like a big baggy shirt on top because you'll look frumpy.

00:39:06.480 But if you wear a more fitted shirt on top, then you'll look cute.

00:39:09.060 Would you agree with that?

00:39:10.620 I agree.

00:39:11.460 I totally agree.

00:39:12.440 And I also, it's where you're going.

00:39:14.020 If I'm in the gym, I'm honestly, I'm very covered up.

00:39:16.500 If I'm at home, I'm pretty lax, and if I film like a workout on Instagram, I make sure that I'm not showing certain things or standing in a certain way.

00:39:26.600 If I'm showing my workout at home, that is awkward or revealing because I just don't need any of that.

00:39:33.940 Yeah, agreed.

00:39:35.120 But most of the time I'll say I'm usually in whatever I slept in plus a sports bra.

00:39:41.100 And yeah, that's it.

00:39:43.100 That's awesome.

00:39:43.700 So the next question, and this is broad, is what advice would you have for a 12-year-old girl?

00:39:53.480 Oh, man.

00:39:54.460 I was 12, 15 years ago.

00:39:57.680 I was 12 longer than that ago.

00:40:00.520 Really?

00:40:01.020 Are you older than me?

00:40:02.600 I am.

00:40:03.340 I'm 29.

00:40:05.180 Oh, you're just a little bit older than me.

00:40:07.520 Just a little bit.

00:40:08.000 Yeah, not so much older.

00:40:09.320 Just a little bit.

00:40:11.120 But you know what?

00:40:12.200 What was great about being 12 when I was 12 was that because there was no social media, I did everything that I did because I liked it.

00:40:19.500 I didn't do anything because I saw other people doing it or other people are influencing me.

00:40:24.900 So I think as a 12-year-old girl in this day and age, remember what you like and do it.

00:40:31.000 Focus on what brings you joy and continue that.

00:40:35.460 I loved crafting.

00:40:36.780 I was that craft nerd.

00:40:38.320 And I think if I lived in today's day and age as a 12-year-old, I probably would feel influenced to get out of that because what 12-year-old plays with sock dolls or makes clothes for her Barbie?

00:40:49.880 What 12-year-old plays with Barbies, you know?

00:40:52.120 So I think if you're 12, don't be on social media, like just straight up.

00:40:58.640 Like you don't need an Instagram.

00:41:00.040 You don't need a phone.

00:41:00.920 You don't need this stuff.

00:41:02.600 Focus in on and honestly put your heart towards what you really enjoy and focus on yourself.

00:41:10.060 And I don't mean that in a vain way, but I mean in a way that is authentic and you're giving yourself good attention and not being sucked in by what all these other crazy 12-year-old girls are doing.

00:41:21.180 Because there are some wild 12-year-old girls out there that have really lost themselves. 0.93

00:41:25.340 And I think a lot of that is attested towards social media and maybe bad influence through there.

00:41:33.380 Yeah.

00:41:34.180 Yeah.

00:41:34.900 I think that for me, you're making me think that the advice I would give is spend time with your mom.

00:41:40.780 Like this is the time to spend time with your mom.

00:41:43.520 Enjoy your mom's company.

00:41:45.680 Learn how to cook.

00:41:47.060 Learn how to like follow her around.

00:41:49.520 See what she does on an everyday.

00:41:51.180 Go shopping with her.

00:41:53.060 Like figure out, go grocery shopping with her.

00:41:56.020 Figure out womanhood through the best example, which not for everyone, but for many women is their mother.

00:42:02.980 So like this is the time of your life where you have time to spend with your mom.

00:42:07.420 Because as you get older, you're going to be in school or you're going to be moving away or you're going to get married.

00:42:11.760 And you're not going to have this time to like learn from this woman who has raised you and who loves you and wants the best for you.

00:42:20.500 So spend time with your mom.

00:42:22.140 Like this is the time.

00:42:23.140 Oh, that's good.

00:42:24.140 Oh, that's good.

00:42:25.520 That's really good.

00:42:26.380 I like that.

00:42:26.920 Yeah, I mean, I spend a lot of time with my mom.

00:42:31.120 I still wish I spent more time with my mom.

00:42:32.680 I know, me too.

00:42:36.520 Oh, me too.

00:42:37.600 And honestly, if you don't have a mom, find a mom figure.

00:42:41.080 And that can be an aunt, a grandma. 0.88

00:42:42.920 That can be someone not even related to you by blood.

00:42:45.260 But there is someone out there that can be a mom figure to you and they would love to invest their time in you because we're because we're moms or we're women or we just want to nurture and help help other women.

00:42:57.720 That's just so natural for us.

00:42:59.640 Yes, totally.

00:43:01.080 So here's a question that is entirely relevant, I think, to your life.

00:43:06.800 What are your thoughts on getting married straight out of high school?

00:43:11.700 Because I did.

00:43:13.420 Well, I got because I did.

00:43:15.260 I graduated high school when I was, yeah, I was 17 and then I graduated college, I guess I was 18.

00:43:27.540 I think honestly, money is very important and I don't want to say that in a way that's, you need to have lots of money and everything, but money is important and be thoughtful towards what you're spending your money on.

00:43:39.800 I remember listening to this one guy and he was a huge advocate and people getting married young and all these young people are saying, oh, I can't get married young.

00:43:49.760 I can't afford it and he's talking to these people who are wearing Gucci, holding a Starbucks and has the latest iPhone and he said, I lived on Folgers Coffee and we had a mattress passed down to us from our grandparents to sleep on.

00:44:05.460 Like, he was like, if you're going to live high and mighty rich and famous, of course, none of this is going to work.

00:44:11.100 So you have to cut corners and stuff.

00:44:13.260 But honestly, really think about, think about money.

00:44:16.640 Think about income.

00:44:17.580 Think about putting things aside and savings.

00:44:19.640 And that was huge for us.

00:44:21.800 That was how we bought our first home, which was a modular.

00:44:25.400 We didn't live in a fancy schmancy home.

00:44:28.460 We never have had new vehicles.

00:44:31.980 Everything that we did as a young dating couple to being engaged, to being married was it was slim.

00:44:39.660 We live slim.

00:44:40.640 We live modest.

00:44:41.580 And in a lot of ways, we really still do.

00:44:44.880 But don't have shame in working a lot, putting money aside and preparing for the future, because that's going to keep you.

00:44:53.100 And that's also going to really protect your relationships and even your marriage.

00:44:58.460 If money is there, it's a security.

00:45:02.140 And I think too many people spend frivolously because of social media when really let's be thoughtful with our coin, because it is important.

00:45:11.880 And the Bible talks about that.

00:45:13.880 And money is a huge topic in the Bible.

00:45:16.800 And people that live simply and humbly reap many, many great blessings that are far better than new vehicles and fancy houses and such.

00:45:30.020 Yeah, I think that's great advice.

00:45:32.080 I really like that advice because it's practical.

00:45:34.280 It's not just like, oh, it's great.

00:45:35.800 It's like, here's how you can do it and do it practically and successfully, please God, like with God's help.

00:45:43.400 So last question.

00:45:45.140 I'm not going to – I don't want to contribute to that because I thought that was such a good answer.

00:45:49.720 So the last question we're going to do is an interesting one.

00:45:56.100 What can wives do if their husbands don't seem to want to take the lead in family life? 1.00

00:46:01.960 For example, he doesn't seem to have a vision for long-term goals and is content with not being more than enough.

00:46:09.320 She wrote with not being good enough.

00:46:10.840 I don't know what that means, but with not being good enough.

00:46:13.680 Hmm.

00:46:14.580 Oh, well, you know what?

00:46:16.180 I can't – and I don't mind saying this.

00:46:19.320 I don't really know.

00:46:21.560 And the reason why is because I've never been in that kind of position.

00:46:30.220 When I married Kieran, I saw so much in him that I was like, he's going to lead me.

00:46:37.440 He's going to take care of me.

00:46:38.280 He's going to do this stuff for me.

00:46:39.520 That was a huge checkmark for me when it came to our dating relationship.

00:46:44.340 So it was before I even got married, I was already looking at Kieran really going, is this going to work because of X, Y, and Zed in his character and personality?

00:46:57.020 So I almost feel like I can't say too much to that.

00:47:04.040 A lot of it, honestly, a lot of it is prayer.

00:47:06.540 I think so much of the time we want to take action, and I think that's beautiful, and especially as women, we can't just sit around waiting.

00:47:15.100 We want to take action, but there's points where the Lord is like, hey, I just want you to sit, or I just want you to get on your knees and just pray to me.

00:47:23.140 If this is something that's really bothering you and something really on your heart, prayer is powerful.

00:47:28.360 And what's even more powerful is a woman that realizes she can't do everything, and she gives it to God. 0.90

00:47:33.420 So I know that's so lame, and that's the last thing so many people want to hear, but take action where you can.

00:47:45.040 It can be hard, but see what you can do, but really, are you praying about it, and are you bringing this to the Lord?

00:47:50.340 Because if you do that, He will give you opportunities.

00:47:52.620 If you ask something of the Lord, He will give you the opportunity to act on it, or to carry something out.

00:48:01.220 Or it may not be through you that the Lord works His plan out, but someone else completely different, and you never saw it coming.

00:48:09.660 So that's my advice.

00:48:10.580 I know that's so bad, and you probably have better advice than I do.

00:48:13.400 Well, I have different advice, but I think that's great advice.

00:48:17.940 My advice is interesting, and actually, it goes along with what you're saying, is I think we have an impulse when somebody's not doing something that maybe we know they should

00:48:29.880 to jump in and take control, or boss them around, or something to that effect.

00:48:37.740 And in this specific situation particularly, I think it is necessary to take a step back and be like,

00:48:46.500 no, you need to fill this role because I'm not going to.

00:48:49.600 Like, I'm the wife.

00:48:52.660 I am not meant to be in the position that you may be asking me to be in.

00:48:58.000 So I am going to show you where my role lies so that you don't feel like you can rest on your laurels.

00:49:05.760 He might need to feel pressure to take that role over, and not in the way where you are pressuring him.

00:49:14.180 Not in the way where you're like, this is your job.

00:49:16.300 Do it.

00:49:16.760 It's more like, I'm just going to be here to support you, and I'm going to take this back seat because I know that this is not the position in this family that I want to be in.

00:49:27.540 And often for men, when they realize that they need that, they need to take over the role of leader of the family, head of the household kind of thing,

00:49:39.900 they need to feel that pressure from you by being like, you know what, that is your role,

00:49:44.720 and it's not something I'm going to step in and take from you.

00:49:47.660 That's what I would, that's what I would guess is like a good way to approach it.

00:49:53.320 That's right.

00:49:53.960 And, and you know what, what you say is so true.

00:49:56.540 Husbands want to feel needed. 0.98

00:49:58.680 As soon as a husband doesn't feel needed, he's bitter, he's upset.

00:50:03.640 Give your husband, I don't want to say, I'm thinking the word project because Kieran, all this is weird because Kieran's starting a project on the back wall.

00:50:14.640 So I'm thinking project, but, um, give them, come on, Abby, help me out.

00:50:19.280 It's not project.

00:50:20.500 Give them, I can't think of it.

00:50:23.040 Give them a, no, I can't think of it.

00:50:27.380 But what, yeah, uh, a man who is not busy is he's not happy.

00:50:33.520 They really do want something to do and they want to add to the family.

00:50:38.140 Um, so if you show need in an area, Lord willing, they're going to pick that up and run with it.

00:50:44.580 And I think it's also on us as wives to show, I can't do this, but honey, I know you can, and I'm relying on you to do that.

00:50:53.320 Um, and, and that makes a man feel powerful and strong because men love that.

00:50:57.900 The last thing I want is someone to come to me and go, I really need this.

00:51:01.380 Cause I'm going, I don't have time.

00:51:03.380 But if we bring that to our husbands, they go, okay, I'll do it.

00:51:06.800 You may have to talk them up and encourage them, but I think that's, that's a good thing for a wife to do. 1.00

00:51:11.900 That's good.

00:51:13.000 Yeah.

00:51:13.460 I think that's exactly right.

00:51:14.860 So that's where we're going to stop, but I'm so glad you came on.

00:51:19.660 Can you tell everyone where they can find you, where they can follow you?

00:51:24.700 Um, yeah, if you want to come to my house, I'm on the West coast of Canada.

00:51:28.700 You can find me here.

00:51:30.260 Um, I, uh, local coffee shops.

00:51:33.520 No, I am, I'm on Instagram at Sarah Treesco and from my Instagram, you'll be able to find

00:51:39.660 my website and such, but always hanging out on there.

00:51:43.780 Yep.

00:51:44.260 And you can always see her on stories.

00:51:46.980 She's always super active on stories.

00:51:48.820 She has the best stories, honestly.

00:51:50.260 Like I, I tune into your stories every day cause they're so aesthetic.

00:51:53.660 Really?

00:51:54.160 You're always doing great things over there.

00:51:56.360 I'm like, Oh, what's she up to?

00:51:57.800 I knew you were doing this project on your back wall before we even spoke today.

00:52:01.800 Cause I was watching your stories.

00:52:03.640 Oh, amazing.

00:52:06.960 Hey, thank you.

00:52:08.700 Yeah.

00:52:09.120 Well, thank you so much for coming on.

00:52:10.920 This was so much fun.

00:52:11.900 We'll have to have, we'll have to have you come on again.

00:52:13.740 Like we'll have to do this again.

00:52:15.680 Yeah.

00:52:16.140 I was going to say, we might need like a four part series of us talking.

00:52:20.920 Cause I feel like we could talk for a really long time.

00:52:23.440 Yes.

00:52:24.600 Same here.

00:52:25.340 Same here.

00:52:26.220 So that is it for today's episode of the classically Abby podcast.

00:52:31.320 Thank you so much for listening.

00:52:33.140 Make sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and on YouTube.

00:52:37.440 If you'd like to become a premium subscriber, make sure to head over to classicallyabby.substack.com

00:52:42.220 and I'll see you guys in my next episode.

00:52:44.320 Bye.

00:52:44.760 Bye.

00:52:44.820 Bye.

00:52:44.880 Bye.

00:52:45.380 Bye.

00:52:45.880 Bye.

00:52:46.880 Bye.

00:52:47.380 Bye.

00:52:47.880 Bye.

00:52:48.880 Bye.

00:52:49.400 Bye.

00:52:49.880 Bye.

00:52:49.940 Bye.

00:52:53.440 Bye.

Classically Abby - January 24, 2023

Sarah Therese On Being A Young Mom, Balancing It All, And What Femininity REALLY Looks Like ⧸⧸ Ep. 3

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript