Classically Abby - January 06, 2021


＂Self-Care＂ Is TRASH. Here's Why. ｜｜ 5 Ways To ACTUALLY Take Care Of Yourself


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

199.25508

Word Count

2,871

Sentence Count

147

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

In today's episode, I talk about the importance of taking a night off for self-care and why it should be something that all women engage in. I also give you 5 tips on how to make time for yourself each and every day.


Transcript

00:00:00.120 Hello, Classic Crew, and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
00:00:04.900 how to do self-care right.
00:00:09.460 I don't know about you, but in the past few years, I feel like the term self-care has
00:00:14.300 become a huge part of the vernacular, has become something that everybody wants to talk
00:00:19.520 about.
00:00:20.040 And here's the thing, I'm not against the idea of self-care.
00:00:24.060 I'm against the idea of what self-care has now come to mean.
00:00:28.300 In the same way that I'm against the idea of female empowerment, meaning something that
00:00:32.240 I totally disagree with.
00:00:34.100 Do I think that the words female and empowerment can go together?
00:00:37.120 Absolutely.
00:00:38.020 Do I agree with how they're used nowadays?
00:00:40.120 Not so much.
00:00:41.140 The same definitely goes for the two words self and care.
00:00:45.060 But self-care nowadays does not really mean what it says.
00:00:49.060 In today's day and age, when you use the term self-care, it evokes an image of a woman who
00:00:54.080 is kind of neglecting any of the other things that need to happen.
00:00:57.900 She says, everyone needs to be put on hold.
00:01:00.540 I need to deal with myself right now.
00:01:02.420 I'm going to have my glass of wine and watch my TV show and take a bath and take care of
00:01:07.600 myself.
00:01:08.400 That isn't really self-care.
00:01:11.160 Self-care should be preventative.
00:01:13.660 Self-care should be something that all women engage in to make sure that we don't get to
00:01:18.580 the point where we're so overwhelmed that we have to take a night of self-care.
00:01:23.540 This is something that I think is really important.
00:01:25.780 If you take care of yourself regularly, then you won't need nights off for self-care.
00:01:32.160 Now, is that always true?
00:01:33.820 No, of course.
00:01:34.820 There are certain days that we have that are just crazy and at the end of it, you want
00:01:38.360 to just chill out and relax.
00:01:40.580 But making the idea of this kind of self-care a really frequent thing instead of dealing
00:01:45.980 with the stuff that could actually keep you feeling calm and collected and more ready
00:01:51.460 to take on the day is to the detriment of women everywhere.
00:01:55.120 Because what really ends up happening is that you don't deal with underlying issues.
00:01:59.120 You just kind of stick a band-aid on a gaping wound by drinking a little bit of wine and
00:02:04.800 watching a stupid TV show and taking a night of self-care instead of taking care of yourself
00:02:10.380 regularly.
00:02:11.000 Self-care should mean taking care of yourself and really taking the time to figure out how
00:02:17.320 you're going to be able to handle everyday life.
00:02:20.160 Instead, it has come to mean restorative care.
00:02:23.000 This idea that I need to take care of myself after the fact.
00:02:26.760 You don't want to let things snowball out of control until the point where you are so
00:02:30.780 overwhelmed that you do need to take a night of self-care.
00:02:33.920 The fact of the matter is that this idea of self-care doesn't ever really work.
00:02:38.100 It doesn't encourage young women to actually take care of themselves regularly.
00:02:43.320 Instead, it just says, when you're feeling upset or overwhelmed, instead of dealing with
00:02:47.700 the root of the problem, just kind of take a day off and indulge.
00:02:52.540 Now, of course, as I mentioned, it's not to say that there aren't going to be times when
00:02:56.040 we're overwhelmed where the day just got the best of us and we want to take a night to de-stress.
00:03:00.320 That happens to all of us, so that's not a terrible thing.
00:03:02.900 But it shouldn't be that we generally are moving through life expecting to be overwhelmed
00:03:07.040 and then dealing with that kind of feeling of being in a chaotic situation by then taking
00:03:13.880 a night off for self-care and just ignoring any other responsibilities.
00:03:18.720 So in this video, I think I want to delineate the idea of self-care from taking care of yourself.
00:03:24.580 I want to say that taking care of yourself is what we should be aiming for and self-care
00:03:29.460 is the bad version of that where you're not really dealing with what you need to deal
00:03:33.420 with to be able to take on the world.
00:03:35.420 I am such a huge proponent of really taking care of yourself and taking time for you and
00:03:41.060 being able to handle everything that comes your way by being aware of those things that
00:03:46.580 make life too hard or too difficult and preparing yourself, as opposed to just letting everything
00:03:53.200 come at you all at once and feeling super stressed about it and then just taking the night off
00:03:58.400 to recover.
00:03:59.260 So today I want to share with you five tips that I have for real self-care, for taking
00:04:06.240 care of yourself.
00:04:07.380 So let's get into it.
00:04:08.720 Number one is to make time for yourself each and every day.
00:04:13.040 Now I know so many of us are so busy.
00:04:16.000 We've got work, we have kids, we have school.
00:04:18.160 There's a million things that we have to do every single day that it feels crazy to even
00:04:23.200 ask for just 10 minutes for yourself.
00:04:25.480 But if you think about it, 10 minutes is really not that long.
00:04:29.380 So if you can work into your schedule 10 minutes every day that is just for you, it will make
00:04:34.780 a huge difference to your mental health.
00:04:37.540 If that means waking up a little bit earlier before everyone else in the house wakes up
00:04:41.480 and making a little cup of coffee or tea and reading a book or doing something that calms
00:04:47.400 you, reading the newspaper, whatever it is, that is a perfect way to take those 10 minutes
00:04:52.400 and make it feel like your day is for you.
00:04:55.500 It also doesn't have to be 10 minutes.
00:04:57.160 If you can have a little bit more time, that's great too.
00:04:59.840 If that means going to the gym and having just a little bit of alone time or eating your lunch
00:05:04.500 and reading while you eat or reading a book, just taking a few minutes and spending some
00:05:09.160 time alone, making sure you get that time each day where you don't have to worry about
00:05:13.740 anyone else is super important.
00:05:16.340 Again, I'm not saying it's easy to work that in when you do have a hectic life, but I really
00:05:21.600 think that taking those 10 minutes is going to be worth it because it really is, it's overwhelming
00:05:27.000 and it can really make you feel out of control when you don't have a second to just calm your
00:05:32.420 mind and rest for a second and remind yourself that you are a person outside of your responsibilities.
00:05:38.320 And so taking that little bit of time each day will prevent you from having to take four
00:05:43.840 hours on a Sunday night.
00:05:45.500 Again, it's not terrible to do that once in a while, but you won't have to do it.
00:05:50.500 You know what I'm saying?
00:05:51.520 Number two is get into a routine.
00:05:54.140 Being without a routine is the first thing that will make you feel out of control and
00:05:58.540 chaotic and make you feel like you need a night for self-care.
00:06:02.460 Give yourself the blessing of a routine.
00:06:04.960 I am telling you, it is such a huge game changer to have a little bit of structure in your day.
00:06:11.480 Even if it's just the first three things of your day, just having that structure will make
00:06:16.860 you feel calmer because otherwise you're dealing with things as they get thrown at you and that
00:06:22.020 can be overwhelming for even the most calm person.
00:06:24.840 If you're somebody who has anxiety or deals with stress, then giving yourself the kindness
00:06:32.260 of saying, okay, I have a delineated time or a delineated schedule, it just makes all the
00:06:39.180 difference in the world.
00:06:40.240 So for me right now, I just have a little routine in the morning where I wake up, make
00:06:44.100 myself coffee, immediately go to the gym, and then come home and start work.
00:06:47.640 And that little routine in the morning sets me on the right foot for the rest of the day.
00:06:51.760 Now, if that routine gets a little bit screwy-loo-y, I am a mess.
00:06:56.780 I have a very hard time getting on track for the rest of the day, and then I feel like I'm
00:07:00.940 stressed to get everything done, and that's when things can snowball.
00:07:04.980 If you stick to that routine, you will feel so much better, just generally, overall, and
00:07:11.400 you won't feel this need to kind of recover from your day.
00:07:15.900 Something I think is so important is the idea of decision fatigue, and that can come when
00:07:20.720 you don't have a routine.
00:07:21.720 So decision fatigue, the idea of that is that you only kind of have a limited number of
00:07:26.500 decisions you can make over the course of a day.
00:07:28.500 Your brain just kind of gets tired of it, and it's just really difficult.
00:07:31.480 Like when you're unpacking, that's a really hard thing, right?
00:07:33.720 Because you're constantly having to make little decisions about where things are going, and
00:07:37.100 by the end of the day, you're just exhausted.
00:07:39.440 If you are somebody who has a routine, you're not going to have to make those little decisions
00:07:43.560 about what do I do now, what do I do here, what do I do then, because it's already
00:07:47.680 lined up for you, and then you have more mental brain space to make those decisions that may
00:07:52.840 come on the fly, that you will have to make for work, or for childcare, or for whatever
00:07:56.900 else it is.
00:07:57.860 Number three is to take a bath or a luxurious shower at least once a week.
00:08:03.180 So I know some people aren't big fans of baths.
00:08:05.560 I am obsessed with taking baths.
00:08:07.580 I absolutely love taking baths.
00:08:09.400 So I am always a proponent.
00:08:11.100 But if you're somebody who's kind of not a fan of taking a bath, then I also included
00:08:15.520 just taking a long shower.
00:08:17.420 I think taking a bath or taking a shower is so important because it really allows your
00:08:22.960 body to relax.
00:08:25.180 So we've been talking a lot about things you can do for your mental health, but your body
00:08:29.060 also benefits from just letting hot water soak it and relax those muscles.
00:08:34.700 And also that is another part of a mental break, is that's time that really nobody can interrupt
00:08:40.100 you.
00:08:40.720 If you're in the bath or you're in the shower, no one can really come in and bother you.
00:08:45.260 So even if it's just a 15 minute long or 20 minute long bath or shower, that is something
00:08:50.940 that can really help your body and also help your mind.
00:08:54.340 I think knowing that each week you'll have that little bit of time to physically relax
00:08:59.340 can make a huge difference when you are starting to feel stressed out.
00:09:02.520 You'll think to yourself, okay, I know I'm going to have a bath this week that's just
00:09:06.080 going to calm my nerves.
00:09:07.900 And it also is that penciled in time to take care of yourself.
00:09:11.840 It's not random.
00:09:13.180 It's not restorative like, oh my goodness, all these bad things happened and now I just
00:09:17.320 can't imagine not taking a bath.
00:09:18.900 I really need to deal with how overwhelmed I am.
00:09:22.240 It's no, this is always going to happen.
00:09:24.920 Good week, bad week, whatever it is, this time is something I devote to me and to my body.
00:09:30.900 And that I think is a really good way to take care of yourself.
00:09:33.660 Number four is if things do start to feel like they are going out of control, things
00:09:38.680 are snowballing, you're feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and figure out what's causing
00:09:43.660 you to spiral out of control and how you can fix it.
00:09:46.500 This is something I personally had to do a few weeks ago.
00:09:49.600 When I was filming Vlogika, I honestly didn't realize how much work it was going to be.
00:09:54.820 So I went in so excited, it was going to be a great easy break and it was not.
00:10:00.180 And I got really overwhelmed over the course of those eight days.
00:10:04.000 And at one point I was really feeling stressed and I stopped myself.
00:10:07.340 I took myself out of whatever I was doing, sat down, took a really deep breath and asked
00:10:12.880 myself, what is causing this?
00:10:15.040 What can I do?
00:10:16.040 And what's the worst that can happen?
00:10:18.120 That's a really important question because often the worst that can happen is absolutely
00:10:23.020 nothing.
00:10:23.360 It's really not a big deal at all and you are just building it up in your mind.
00:10:27.020 Asking myself those questions stopped me in my tracks and allowed me to collect myself
00:10:31.760 before moving on with my day.
00:10:33.740 I was able to realize that I was really blowing things out of proportion and that it wasn't
00:10:38.160 that big of a deal.
00:10:39.160 I was fine.
00:10:40.060 There was nothing that important that was going on and it was going to be okay.
00:10:44.120 And so allowing yourself to take those moments when things do start to get chaotic and just
00:10:49.700 pausing and saying, okay, is how I'm feeling really warranted here?
00:10:56.120 And if it is, what do I need to fix?
00:10:58.300 And if it's not, then I can recognize that and re-enter the situation with a better attitude.
00:11:05.180 And that is something I think that can really help take care of yourself and prevent you
00:11:10.760 from hitting the end of the day and thinking, oh my gosh, everything is still out of control.
00:11:16.160 I just need to stop and take care of myself.
00:11:19.380 I just need to go do something.
00:11:20.820 No.
00:11:21.200 You've already dealt with that when it was starting to hit its peak.
00:11:26.240 And now by the time you get to the end of the day, you're still okay.
00:11:29.420 You're fine.
00:11:30.200 You've dealt with it and that's a good thing.
00:11:32.500 The fifth and final way to take care of yourself regularly is pray.
00:11:37.460 Praying to God reminds us that we're really not in control of anything.
00:11:41.000 Once you recognize that God is the one in control and you're not, you won't feel so hectic
00:11:45.300 and overwhelmed.
00:11:46.020 A lot of taking care of yourself is really about calming your mind.
00:11:50.420 And one of the most calming things that you can do is recognizing that you're not the one
00:11:54.660 who is making everything happen.
00:11:56.660 That you have somebody else who you can turn to in times of need.
00:12:00.500 When you turn to God, then all of a sudden you realize that you have help.
00:12:05.080 God is there to help you and to guide you and you're not alone.
00:12:09.140 And that is just one of the best feelings ever.
00:12:12.040 It makes you feel so much more calm in the face of chaos.
00:12:16.920 And of course, praying also reminds you that chaos is kind of the normal run of events for
00:12:21.780 most people.
00:12:22.700 It's not, the world is chaotic, right?
00:12:25.040 We aren't in control and that's okay.
00:12:28.240 That's kind of part and parcel of being a person.
00:12:31.360 So recognizing that God is the one in control and taking a moment to be grateful to God each
00:12:36.560 night for everything he's given you and for everything you have.
00:12:39.600 That is a really powerful feeling that takes care of you, takes care of your mind, takes
00:12:46.820 care of your soul.
00:12:48.260 And I think those are things that can prevent you from feeling that crazy, crazy, overwhelmed
00:12:53.660 stuff that ends up leading to self-care.
00:12:55.940 I think a lot of what self-care ends up being is this feeling of you need to numb your mind
00:13:00.840 because it's racing.
00:13:02.020 Because you're just too stressed to think about it.
00:13:04.660 So you drink alcohol or you watch dumb TV and when you turn to God, you don't need to
00:13:11.560 numb your mind.
00:13:12.340 You just comb it.
00:13:13.700 And that's a wonderful feeling is that you don't feel like you need to turn it off.
00:13:17.740 You're instead teaching your mind that it's okay to be stressed but it doesn't need to
00:13:22.600 be stressed.
00:13:23.160 And that is so much more useful and long-lasting than just numbing it.
00:13:28.600 Healing your mind and creating a better headspace for the next day, now that is something that
00:13:33.440 is worth doing and actually takes care of yourself.
00:13:36.180 So those are my thoughts on self-care versus taking care of yourself.
00:13:40.760 I really enjoyed making this video and thinking about ways that I could incorporate into my life
00:13:46.000 more ways of just regularly caring for me as opposed to doing self-care.
00:13:51.300 So I'd really love to hear from you guys in the comments what you guys do to take care
00:13:55.260 of yourselves.
00:13:55.960 I'd love to hear.
00:13:57.240 Thank you guys so much for watching today's video.
00:13:59.360 Please subscribe to my channel if you haven't already.
00:14:01.800 It's really helpful when you do that and I love to see the Classic Crew grow.
00:14:06.000 Please hit that notification bell.
00:14:07.260 It'll let you know anytime I post a new video.
00:14:09.440 You can follow me on all social media at Classically Abbey.
00:14:12.900 And if you'd like to donate and support my channel and get ad-free versions of these videos,
00:14:17.560 you can head over to classicallyabbey.locals.com.
00:14:20.000 Thank you guys so much for watching and I'll see you guys in my next video.
00:14:23.580 Bye!