Classically Abby - Should You Be A MOTHER？？ ⧸⧸ Actually answering the question so many of you are wondering about...

00:00:00.080 today i want to talk about whether you should be a mother hi and welcome back to my channel if you

00:00:07.120 are new here we do motherhood and lifestyle content from a classic and traditional perspective

00:00:13.120 so i'm really happy to have you here and if you are interested in seeing more content like this

00:00:17.440 make sure to subscribe in today's video i want to talk about whether or not you should be a mother

00:00:24.560 i've seen this content going around there's been a question of whether or not women should be 1.00

00:00:31.360 mothers is that a good idea should they you know take this giant step in their lives and actually 0.99

00:00:38.720 approach parenthood motherhood and i'm gonna give a controversial answer not controversial for me

00:00:46.240 controversial for the world which is yes you should be and there's a lot of good reasons for why it's

00:00:54.080 not just about how happy and good it'll make you feel and how it will bring you the most joy it's

00:00:59.120 ever brought you and i mean yeah it will bring you the highest highs you've ever had in your life but

00:01:06.320 more than that we have a responsibility as people to live our lives for more than just ourselves and

00:01:13.360 to live our lives for more than just today and whatever we want to do so i want to talk about

00:01:20.640 that i want to hear your thoughts in the comments make sure to drop a comment down below like this

00:01:25.280 video and let's just get into it so the reason that i'm actually making today's video is because i saw

00:01:30.880 raw beauty christie who i really like her channel she does a lot of stuff on there talking about 0.99

00:01:36.000 motherhood talking about her mental health struggles but also talking about the beauty of

00:01:39.840 motherhood how much she's changed and how much she's grown and i watched a video on her channel

00:01:45.360 about whether or not you should be a mother and she took the question seriously and i appreciated

00:01:50.480 that but ultimately we come down on opposite sides of the aisle if you think that being a mother

00:01:59.840 is something that is a choice in the sense that you could do it you could take on this massive burden

00:02:08.720 and you could take on the massive responsibility of another person's life or you could just continue to

00:02:16.320 live for yourself and travel and party it up and do all of these things that i think are not what life

00:02:24.000 is for are not what life is truly about then you will say that well maybe you shouldn't be a parent maybe

00:02:31.360 you shouldn't be a mother i believe though that motherhood is what life is for that if you don't choose to

00:02:41.920 put other people ahead of yourself and if you don't choose to live your life for the purpose

00:02:48.080 of raising the next generation then you're just living a hedonistic life and one that is only for

00:02:55.040 here and now and that's honestly it's sad and i understand the concept if you don't believe in god if

00:03:00.640 you think this is all there is then why would you why would you want to have children why would you

00:03:06.000 want to want to spend your days doing what can often be burdensome what can often be mundane or

00:03:13.520 boring but if you know that there is something greater and you have a greater purpose not just

00:03:19.200 for the afterlife but you yourself have a deeper purpose and way to fulfillment then motherhood is

00:03:28.720 kind of necessary now of course there's the caveat what if i can't have children this video is not

00:03:36.000 targeted at people who want to have children and can't or who want to be married and aren't and so

00:03:42.960 can't start a family of course not of course there is value to singlehood there is value to those who

00:03:49.680 can't have children and i still believe that people in those positions should be taking a role and a part

00:03:57.600 in the future generation whether it be fostering or adopting or whether it be just being involved in

00:04:04.800 your community and being involved in your nieces and nephews lives i think that that is super important

00:04:10.400 but what i'm really talking about are the people who are kind of selfishly questioning whether or not

00:04:17.280 they want to have children at all treating it like a choice to be made something they can just ignore

00:04:23.920 they can just put off their fertility forever and always because who cares they might as well 1.00

00:04:30.240 stay hot and fit and focus on honestly everything that's just not important we live in a society

00:04:40.400 that basically says do whatever you want do what makes you happy do whatever you think makes sense for you

00:04:47.360 i'm gonna do what i want to do and you do what you want to do and obviously at the end of the day

00:04:53.840 i'm never going to walk up to someone who's chosen something different and tell them to their face i

00:04:58.880 think they're doing something dumb or not have a relationship with them or not be able to converse

00:05:05.840 with them of course not but i do think that there are choices in life that are better and there are

00:05:13.920 choices in life that are worse we are reading the book conservatism by yoram hazoni for my book club

00:05:19.360 on substack shameless plug check it out if you haven't already it's where you can get my exclusive

00:05:24.160 content and in the book yoram hazoni talks about how we have kind of created a society that's all about

00:05:32.080 how equal everyone is and what he means by that is that every choice is equal if you decide to go into

00:05:39.680 the army and fight for your country that is as valid as any other career you could choose but what

00:05:45.760 that means is that the jobs that we choose to do because they earn us respect now don't earn us

00:05:52.640 respect anymore because everything is equal nobody is better for having done something that is hard

00:05:58.880 or important or worthy and i agree with that wholeheartedly i mean there are so many things that

00:06:04.480 we choose to do as people and obviously we don't do it for everyone else that's not the point but

00:06:10.080 there are things that we choose to do as people because they are worthy of respect and when we

00:06:16.080 take that respect away of course you see people just saying any choice is valid who cares motherhood is

00:06:23.040 a vocation worthy of respect more than not motherhood okay unpopular opinion i know but i'm gonna say it

00:06:31.040 anyway because the truth is that life should not just be lived for the here and now for you for your

00:06:38.240 parties for your travel for whatever for many reasons one is it is important for us as citizens

00:06:46.080 of the world to shepherd the next generation to shepherd our society towards the future it's important it's

00:06:51.360 not all about you the second thing is that it makes people better to have children and if it doesn't

00:06:59.040 you need to reevaluate yourself and reevaluate your life having a child reminds you what you are for

00:07:08.160 which is so much more than the silly nonsense that people can hedonistically just engage in if you are more

00:07:15.920 worried about how your body is going to look after you have a child than having a healthy child for

00:07:20.560 example you have your priorities wrong now i'm not saying you shouldn't try to be fit after you have

00:07:26.320 a child be healthy for your family stay attractive for your husband of course those are important

00:07:31.440 things but if your priority is staying hot more than having a child clearly things are off there

00:07:40.320 like a woman in her 50s who's never had a child is obviously going to look a lot different than a 1.00

00:07:44.720 woman in her 50s who's had three or four children but whose body was used for what it was supposed to 1.00

00:07:50.400 be used for i'm sorry that's it's true the only way to understand like the depth of life and maturity is

00:08:00.080 to spend time around children and theoretically the best way to do that is to do it by having your own

00:08:07.280 i think that people who don't have children can't understand they don't understand the world in its

00:08:13.680 most meaningful sense you just can't there's it's you can't describe how love feels until you are carrying

00:08:23.760 your own child you can't describe how important another person's life is more than your own until you

00:08:30.880 have children to look after whether it be your own or someone else's but these are life lessons that

00:08:38.320 you can't learn if you call motherhood a choice and this is why i'm saying i don't like the idea that

00:08:44.240 motherhood is a choice in the sense that motherhood is part of life it's not something you could choose

00:08:50.000 to do or not to do it is a part and parcel of being a person of being a woman that is what i mean when

00:08:56.640 i say motherhood isn't a choice motherhood is part of life it's what makes people grow and become

00:09:03.920 their fullest truest selves now motherhood is not all easy and and that's the thing i think that gets

00:09:09.840 people is that if you say like oh should i be a mother oh yeah because it's so wonderful and it's

00:09:14.240 so amazing i mean it is wonderful and it is amazing but it's not all wonderful and amazing and obviously

00:09:20.000 it's easier when you don't have children you can do everything on your own schedule and you can do it

00:09:24.560 just because you want to and that's not what it's like when you have kids so it's it's not

00:09:29.520 motherhood and parenting is not about the fun and the joy although it is incredibly joyful but my issue

00:09:37.600 lately with the internet and the way that we talk about motherhood is uh is that we have to only talk

00:09:45.200 about the negatives it makes me crazy because i'll say as a stay-at-home mom who's home with my son

00:09:50.880 and who gets to spend all day with him like there is nothing i'd rather be doing and there is nothing

00:09:55.600 better it is it really is super fun and it is great and there's nothing that would fulfill me or

00:10:01.840 bring me more meaning i think what we get into is the idea of self-pity we pity ourselves for how difficult

00:10:11.360 day-to-day life can be as a parent and as you know the normal drudgery of life and that is a terrible

00:10:20.000 way to approach parenthood and a terrible way to approach motherhood if you constantly are

00:10:24.480 pitying yourself rather than saying you know what everyone is going through the same thing i am

00:10:28.960 i had a hard day guess what tina down the block she also had a hard day once you recognize that it's 0.98

00:10:34.640 it's natural for life to be difficult sometimes then you don't go into the self-pity place you can

00:10:40.720 just be like okay today was a little trickier than another day and then the next day might be a lot

00:10:46.320 more fun and easy i think that when we constantly talk about motherhood like it is this absolutely

00:10:52.080 awful burden and we talk about how it's just exhausting and hard and like ah god it is so

00:11:00.240 draining because of course if you focus on the negative you're gonna be negative i had to change

00:11:06.480 my perspective on this it was really interesting because i realized that in a way i was

00:11:13.360 focusing on the negative to prove that being a stay-at-home mom was real work counted as hard

00:11:22.240 work so that people could take my job seriously if i was exhausted and tired and oh my goodness my

00:11:28.160 day was so difficult then people would treat being a stay-at-home mom as a real job and if i was joyful

00:11:35.600 and happy and i had a great day and i got to spend time with my kiddo and it was just wonderful

00:11:40.320 then maybe people would think i was mooching off my husband or would think that my job

00:11:45.040 wasn't hard okay so number one who cares what other people think i know that there are days that are

00:11:51.920 hard and i know that there are elements of motherhood that are hard and i know that when i keep a positive

00:11:58.400 perspective on it it's a much easier job like practically i feel like i'm having a much easier day

00:12:06.240 when i view motherhood through the lens of happiness and joy i am happy and i am joyful and i'm so

00:12:12.880 grateful for this life that i get to live that i get to spend my mornings taking my son to an indoor

00:12:18.880 play gym to play with his friends while i get to talk with the moms there and maybe chase him around

00:12:23.600 and try to get him to eat like yes there's the the difficult plus the beauty and the joy so i think

00:12:30.880 that it's so important for us to recognize that like yes motherhood is hard yes there are difficult

00:12:35.760 elements but overall it's a huge blessing at the end of the day i'm making this video because

00:12:41.840 i want to be the one to say that motherhood is important and it's not just a choice and it's not

00:12:49.760 just something you could choose to do as easily as you could choose to be some other career motherhood 1.00

00:12:56.640 is a part of life and it's an important part of life because it's an important part of growing up

00:13:00.960 and being a mature person and if you have the opportunity to be a mother and you have the

00:13:06.000 opportunity to be fertile that is the path you should be going down there's no other way for you

00:13:13.200 to become the fullest version of you if you choose to ignore it and you can be satisfied right now

00:13:21.120 doing whatever you want living your day to day as easy and nice as a dink might be double income no 1.00

00:13:29.200 kids but at the end of the day you won't understand the fullness of life until you become a mother until

00:13:36.160 you have children so that is my answer to the question now whether or not you take that advice

00:13:43.040 that's up to you but that is my answer to the question i hope you guys enjoyed today's video

00:13:48.880 please leave me a comment down below and i'd love to hear your thoughts as well

00:13:54.240 thank you so much for watching and i'll see you guys in my next one bye

Classically Abby - July 20, 2023

Should You Be A MOTHER？？ ⧸⧸ Actually answering the question so many of you are wondering about...

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