Classically Abby - The Barbie Movie Is WOKE and UNWATCHABLE ⧸⧸ Conservative Mom Movie Review

00:00:00.000 I did it. I saw Barbie. So you don't have to. And when I say so you don't have to,

00:00:06.260 I don't mean in the cliche version of you don't have to. I mean, I legit don't want you to have

00:00:13.320 to suffer through this film. Welcome to a new series on my channel called Conservative Mom

00:00:20.060 Movie Reviews. My plan is to review movies that you might be interested in taking your kids to

00:00:26.760 from a conservative mom's perspective. I want to share whether or not this is going to be a good

00:00:32.440 idea for you to share with your kids, whether it has woke nonsense or whether it's even a good

00:00:37.240 movie. Let me know in the comments, do you only want to see movies that are new, that are coming

00:00:42.080 out? Or should I go back and review some old children's movies, some old movies that maybe

00:00:46.580 you're interested in watching with your kids? I'd love to hear your opinions and thoughts in the

00:00:50.860 comments. But let's talk about why we're really here, which is the Barbie movie. I went to see

00:00:56.980 Barbie last night by myself because I could not bear to put anyone else through it. I knew going in

00:01:05.760 that this was not going to be my cup of tea, but I did this for you. So in today's review,

00:01:11.880 I'm going to break this down into three parts. One, is it watchable? Two, the wokeness meter. And three,

00:01:21.060 should you take your children to see it? So let's quickly break down the plot. We open in Barbie

00:01:27.600 land. It's a feminist utopia. All of the women are in charge and all of the men are second-class

00:01:33.700 citizens. All of a sudden, our main character, stereotypical Barbie, that is literally her name,

00:01:39.600 stereotypical Barbie, starts to have an existential crisis. Thinking about death, waking up with bad

00:01:45.020 breath, burning her waffle, having flat feet, and getting cellulite. And of course, this is a

00:01:50.560 malfunction in Barbie land. So she has to go figure out what is causing it. Well, it turns out that the

00:01:56.880 little girl who is playing with her is causing her to have this crisis. And so she has to go to the

00:02:03.360 real world to find the girl, make her happy again, so she can be happy again and normal. And you might

00:02:09.440 think this is going to be similar to Enchanted, where the princess in the cartoon goes to the real

00:02:14.200 world and discovers that there's so much more to life than just being in a cartoon, and ends up

00:02:19.000 learning some lessons about what real life is about. But no, that's not what the main part of

00:02:23.560 this movie is about, although it does try to pretend that that's the point. Really what happens is

00:02:29.240 Barbie and Ken go to the real world, and Ken discovers patriarchy. Literally, it's called patriarchy.

00:02:36.380 He brings it back to Barbie land, takes over. Barbie and her girls have to win back Barbie land

00:02:43.300 for feminists. And at the end, for some reason, Barbie decides to go back to the real world because

00:02:49.960 she wants to be a real girl. Now, the question, is it watchable? I wanted this to be watchable. So what

00:02:56.720 I'll say is, there are plenty of movies out there that are woke or that have a totally different

00:03:02.080 political viewpoint than I have. And I still enjoy watching them. They're funny, they're interesting,

00:03:07.140 they're girly, whatever it is, I still enjoy watching it. And honestly, I was curious to see

00:03:13.660 if this was going to be that kind of a movie. A movie I didn't agree with, I couldn't, you know,

00:03:18.080 back or stand behind, but could enjoy watching. It was not. It simply was not. And there's a few

00:03:24.980 different reasons for why this was not watchable. The plot, the characters, and honestly, the design.

00:03:32.400 The design in the movie was beautiful. Of course, everyone couldn't stop talking about how it was a

00:03:36.880 giant set, a giant version of what we've all played with as little kids, as little girls.

00:03:41.940 But the truth is, that as a concept gets really boring after like the first scene. Because we're

00:03:48.860 just seeing the same sets over and over. And it really feels more like a Broadway show than it does

00:03:55.020 a movie, which I have no issue with Broadway shows. I have no issue with musicals. But the thing about

00:04:00.060 this movie, the thing that made it stand out, the reason that it would have been fun would be the

00:04:04.980 visual aspect. And it gets stale after you've seen it once or twice. Because okay, cool. It's a Barbie

00:04:12.420 dream house. We get it. Now that's all it is. And I'm ready to move on. So even though the sets were

00:04:18.580 cool, even though the costumes were fun, it really didn't go beyond that. Now talking about the plot,

00:04:25.920 the issue with the plot is that it was so scattered. They were trying to make so many different

00:04:30.900 points because this is a feminist diatribe that nothing was stayed on long enough to actually

00:04:37.460 have full impact. There's a mother and daughter in the film. The mother is the woman who was playing

00:04:42.500 with stereotypical Barbie, the reason that she has this existential crisis. The mother and daughter

00:04:47.520 are not doing well. They're not connecting anymore. And there's no apotheosis for that relationship that

00:04:55.420 makes sense. It just kind of happens too quickly because it's one of a million points that the

00:05:00.660 director, Greta Gerwig, is trying to get across, is trying to make. And it's just, it makes nothing

00:05:06.940 potent. Everything is fleeting. Everything feels empty. Nothing actually gets through to your emotions.

00:05:13.980 Now I will say, you can see something where a character cries on screen. It can be two minutes

00:05:18.760 long. And if it has the right music, it'll make you cry. So you'll think, ah, I had an emotional

00:05:23.220 response. But if you actually sit there and take it in and watch it for what it is, you'll realize that

00:05:30.400 there's no there there. As well, there are two parallel storylines that absolutely do not cohere.

00:05:35.960 The storyline with Ken, the patriarchy, and the real world does not cohere with the fact that Barbie

00:05:42.960 decides she wants to become a real girl, a real woman. Because in the story, the real world is

00:05:48.420 portrayed as this horrible patriarchy where women are treated horribly by literally everyone. When the

00:05:54.880 Barbies reclaim Barbie land from the patriarchy, from Ken, it's back to being a utopia. The men are

00:06:01.600 still kept down as second class citizens because apparently that imitates what women are like

00:06:06.060 going through in the real world. And the women get to be in charge. Like that's their thing. Barbie

00:06:12.280 fought for this amazing utopia. Now she wants to be a real woman in the real world when she's been

00:06:18.120 there and knows that it's not good. The director and writer want to have their cake and eat it too.

00:06:23.260 That humanity, being a person, being alive, all of the struggles of that are so important and so

00:06:29.840 beautiful and more than being a doll. But at the same time, the real world is disgusting. Nothing

00:06:35.660 in here is good. You as a woman will always be a second class citizen. You will always be a victim.

00:06:40.480 That does not work together. You cannot have both storylines where feminism, utopia, women getting

00:06:47.120 everything they want is amazing, is right up against Barbie not wanting that and actually wanting to

00:06:53.240 be a real girl. Which is just an added on ending to give the people what they want. Last but not least,

00:06:59.520 let's talk about the performances. People are going to say up and down the wazoo that Ryan Gosling was

00:07:04.720 amazing, that Margot Robbie was amazing. Everyone was fine. Like it didn't stand out. The story was not

00:07:11.200 good enough for the actors to do well in it, to prove themselves. The plot just didn't give them

00:07:17.860 enough to work with. Ryan Gosling is always funny and they gave him horrible lines and it was so

00:07:24.240 stereotypically silly. And I get that that's kind of the point, but it was so stereotypically silly

00:07:28.940 that it wasn't funny. Margot Robbie, fine, but her character was so poorly developed that it didn't

00:07:36.900 make sense the character changes she was making. Again, going back to how the plot was so scattered

00:07:42.460 and every point was too short to actually be made. So, is this movie watchable? No. I don't think it's

00:07:49.520 fun. Like you want to think it's fun? Watch the preview. You want to watch a clip of it? Sure. But

00:07:55.100 sitting through two hours of this movie? No thank you. Part two, the wokeness meter. On a scale of one

00:08:03.100 to ten. How woke is this movie? I am going to give this movie a ten. Any movie that talks about the

00:08:10.960 patriarchy this much, that portrays women as being second-class citizens in the real world this much,

00:08:18.360 that literally has a monologue about how women can never get anything right, it must be a ten.

00:08:23.900 I've got to talk about something I think is so important about the point that Greta Gerwig is

00:08:29.420 trying to make in this film that I think really falls flat that I don't think a lot of people are

00:08:34.900 talking about. So, the comparison between the two worlds is the real world is patriarchal,

00:08:39.960 women are oppressed, and in Barbie Land, women get to do everything and men have literally nothing to

00:08:46.240 do. Here's the problem. Barbie Land has no children in it. They don't have babies. Men and women in this

00:08:54.460 scenario are actually sort of interchangeable. So, men and women really don't have differing

00:09:00.040 responsibilities in that world. The idea that in the best possible version of the world, women

00:09:06.300 wouldn't have anything holding them back from holding all of these positions and men would do

00:09:12.080 nothing doesn't make sense because in the real world, women who are not in the workplace find their

00:09:20.380 fulfillment at home, find their fulfillment with raising children, and choose not to be in the

00:09:25.280 workplace and choose not to go to the highest level of their careers. Where in Barbie Land, the men have

00:09:30.100 nothing to do, that is not parallel to women who are not in the workplace because they have children

00:09:36.320 they want to take care of. Do you see how those don't compare to each other? It's not that the men are

00:09:41.260 at home with the kids. It's that the men have nothing to do. And I will also say that the dream

00:09:46.620 for a lot of people is to not have anything to do and have their whole lives provided for.

00:09:52.420 That they don't have to have work to find meaning. That work itself does not equal meaning. In the

00:09:58.480 real world, men and women have different roles because men and women are different. In Barbie Land,

00:10:04.580 men and women are the same, which is why they have a trans woman playing a Barbie. The movie literally

00:10:09.000 starts with an attack on motherhood. There's a quote, baby dolls and motherhood is only fun for a while.

00:10:14.640 Ask your mother. Yeah, ask your mother how much she hated being your mom. Then the rest of the movie

00:10:20.000 tries to walk that back as if that wasn't the initial point they made and is trying to throw a

00:10:25.820 bone to conservatives and traditional women who want to believe that the left embraces motherhood

00:10:34.240 when in truth, they don't. They don't embrace motherhood. They embrace women's choices as long as

00:10:40.920 they don't interfere with their goals in feminism and their goals to hate men. So if you want to be

00:10:47.540 a mom, that's fine. But if you want to be a mom, that also probably means that you're brainwashed by

00:10:51.900 the patriarchy and you don't want more than that. If you want to like men and enjoy men, it's also

00:10:56.740 because you've been brainwashed. And the truth is you're really doing so many things just to get

00:11:01.760 men to pay attention to you. Motherhood is absolutely despised by the people who make this movie

00:11:06.980 and they try to hide behind that by just randomly throwing in little comments like,

00:11:12.780 we should have an ordinary Barbie who's just a mom or maybe she's not a mom. As I said in my

00:11:17.240 previous video, motherhood is not an equal choice to not motherhood. So this movie obviously believes

00:11:24.620 that. I mean, more than believes that, probably believes that not having children is even more

00:11:28.920 fulfilling for women. So that's an issue. And I want to address one more thing as far as the

00:11:34.200 wokeness meter, which is what is femininity? This movie appealed before anyone knew what it was

00:11:40.100 about. It appealed to so many conservatives who were so excited to see a vision of femininity on

00:11:46.640 screen. The pink dresses, the beauty, embracing those things. But the fact of the matter is this is

00:11:54.160 the emptiest, shallowest version of femininity, right? Femininity that could literally be appropriated

00:12:00.460 by men, if they so choose, by wearing dresses and putting on makeup. I am not saying that there is

00:12:06.720 not beauty to the outward appearance of femininity. It is so fun. I love it. It's something I embrace

00:12:14.280 and I enjoy. But real femininity is about taking care of others, being the kind of woman people can

00:12:20.340 depend on, being strong, and building up the next generation of civilization. So femininity is a lot

00:12:27.660 more than just pink dresses and pretty blowouts. I don't like that this movie has so enraptured

00:12:36.800 women who want to embrace femininity as a costume and have no interest in actually taking on the

00:12:43.660 feminine roles that make women so special and different from men. And I'll finish off the wokeness

00:12:49.840 meter segment by reading two more quotes from this movie. It is literally impossible to be a woman.

00:12:54.860 That is the opening line in a monologue by America Ferreira where she says, we have to be this,

00:13:00.440 but we can't be that. We have to be this. You've heard this monologue about a million times on the

00:13:04.420 internet at this point. You have to be thin, but not too thin. You have to have a big butt,

00:13:08.000 but not too big of a butt. Nobody cares. If you prioritize faith, family, and community,

00:13:14.640 the people you spend your time with are not going to put you in these boxes that you are saying are

00:13:19.160 necessary parts of womanhood. It's just not true. As a woman who lives amongst an amazing religious

00:13:25.640 community with an amazing husband who's having sons, I can't get behind this idea that women are

00:13:32.560 just always losing. We're not. Stop putting yourself in stupid situations. Stop taking on things that

00:13:40.040 nobody is actually putting on you. Stop prioritizing vanity over just genuine beauty. If you are beautiful

00:13:46.860 to your husband, you are beautiful. Done. Solved. And here's the other quote. We mothers stand still

00:13:52.880 so our daughters can look back and see how far they've come. They thought that line was so meaningful

00:13:59.540 when they wrote it. And I want to throw it in the trash can. Yeah. Being a mom is just so bad

00:14:06.920 that we have to hold ourselves back so that you can not be a mother, hopefully, so you can actually

00:14:14.260 fulfill your full potential, right? That phrase I hate, fulfilling your potential, whatever that

00:14:19.420 means. Being a mother is not living a life half-lived. And if you teach your daughter that, you are doing

00:14:25.380 her a huge disservice. Which brings us to part number three. Should you take your children to see this?

00:14:31.700 I would actually legitimately ask that you don't. I think this is different than taking your child to

00:14:39.400 see something that's just like not super fun. Or maybe has some under the radar woke stuff. This is

00:14:45.940 the kind of movie that would demoralize any young woman who doesn't know enough to understand that

00:14:51.880 this is trying to brainwash them. If young girls think that they are victims of a society that is run

00:14:57.760 by men, and that there's nothing they can do to win, they will ultimately be unhappy. And this whole

00:15:03.560 movie, it's about everything that you could do to be unhappy as a woman. And it champions those

00:15:09.800 things, right? That was the point. The movie is very glittery and shiny, and so could really make a

00:15:16.020 little girl want to watch it again without realizing the lesson and the moral. And the moral of the story

00:15:22.260 is not moral. It's the opposite. It also is inappropriate. This movie is too old for little

00:15:28.280 girls. Like there are things in it that there are jokes, there are lines that are just inappropriate

00:15:33.080 for children, and they should not see that. So on top of, you know, the woke stuff, this movie is also

00:15:38.780 just too old for little kids. So I would not bring them. But I would say this is not a good movie for

00:15:43.580 your kids. It's not a good movie for you. And I would not recommend going to see it. I want to finish

00:15:49.040 off today's video by making one point. The whole premise of the movie is that Ken is only Ken in relation

00:15:55.380 to Barbie. Barbie is the toy that people play with, and Ken is just ancillary. I really think

00:16:00.380 that the way you played with Barbies is based on how you grew up. So for me, I grew up playing with

00:16:07.960 Barbie and Ken consistently. I would get Barbie dressed, but then Ken and Barbie were a couple,

00:16:14.580 and so I would constantly play with the two of them, and then they might start a family. I usually

00:16:18.300 bought the baby dolls as well, by the way. So what's funny about the idea that Barbie gave women agency,

00:16:24.300 because that's the concept at the beginning of the film, is that for someone like me,

00:16:29.220 I basically played motherhood with my Barbie, but the Barbie stood in for me, and then her baby

00:16:35.660 stood in for my baby, as opposed to having a baby doll of my own, which is kind of funny,

00:16:40.780 if you think about it. So I just want to finish with that, because I didn't relate to the concept

00:16:46.220 that Ken was just random and didn't have a relationship with Barbie. Barbie and Ken were

00:16:51.160 married when I played with them as kids. I'd like to hear your thoughts on that. How did you play

00:16:55.140 with Barbie when you were little? Did you play with Barbie and Ken, or was it just Barbie?

00:16:58.940 So that is my Barbie movie review. Thank you so much for watching, and let me know in the comments

00:17:03.720 what you'd like me to review next. See you next time. Bye!

00:17:06.780 Bye!

Classically Abby - July 26, 2023

The Barbie Movie Is WOKE and UNWATCHABLE ⧸⧸ Conservative Mom Movie Review

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