Classically Abby - THIS IS A JUICY Q&A - we're talking about IT ALL!

00:00:00.040 Let's do a Q&A.

00:00:05.600 Hello and welcome to my channel. My name is Abbey. If you are new here, I would love if you would

00:00:09.880 subscribe and hit that notification bell. Today, we are going to be answering your burning questions.

00:00:15.960 I posted on Instagram and said, hey, I'm doing a Q&A on my channel and I want to hear about

00:00:20.300 questions you have about motherhood and dating and relationships and modesty and personal

00:00:25.360 questions. Any questions you guys have and today we're going to answer those questions. So I'm

00:00:28.980 really excited to hop right into it. I hope you guys are excited too. Maybe your question

00:00:33.600 will be answered. So stay tuned and let's get right into it. The first question is, do you

00:00:38.140 find that there's more sexualizing of women who dress modest versus dress provocative? I

00:00:43.520 think this is a really interesting question. The question to me means, do women who dress 0.95

00:00:47.800 modestly actually get more sexualized? And my guess is no. Now the other thing I want to

00:00:53.980 talk about as regards modesty is, does it matter whether people choose to sexualize you, right?

00:01:01.760 Like I am sexualized on the internet all the time. I dress really modestly. Just because men who are 1.00

00:01:07.760 gross are going to be gross no matter what doesn't mean that I should dress immodestly, right? Like if

00:01:12.680 I dressed modestly or immodestly, they would sexualize me either way. Well, that's on them. It's not

00:01:17.460 on me. For me, I know that when I was dating, the kind of guys that I would want to attract are not

00:01:22.400 the kind of guys who would sexualize me no matter what, or who only wanted to have a one night stand.

00:01:27.620 I wanted to attract the kind of guy who wanted to get to know me and my personality. And if I'm

00:01:34.400 dressing in a certain way, it's going to attract a certain type of man. And I would be giving men

00:01:38.720 the signals of what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a guy who takes me seriously and wants something

00:01:42.680 more serious. If I'm dressing in a way that's immodest, it only hurts my chances of getting

00:01:47.420 what I want. So whether or not a bad guy is going to sexualize me, it shouldn't affect the way that

00:01:52.060 I dress modestly. Because modesty is a wonderful tool for me. And it's a respectful way to approach

00:01:58.640 the world. And bad guys are always going to be bad guys, no matter what you wear. But good guys can

00:02:03.120 be better and can avoid the distraction of your body if you give them the tools to do that and allow

00:02:09.860 them to get to know you. Are they going to find you beautiful and attractive even if you dress

00:02:14.260 modestly? Yes, but they're not going to be sexualizing you right off the bat. Whereas a bad

00:02:19.580 guy is going to choose to sexualize you either way. Which stage do you find more difficult? Newborn,

00:02:24.940 infant, or toddler? They're difficult in different ways. But for sure for me, the earliest stage,

00:02:30.540 like the first three months, is the hardest. That's different for everybody. Some people love the

00:02:34.620 newborn stage. I'm not a huge newborn stage person. I like elements of it. But I think for me when

00:02:41.980 things get good is when we have a little more of a routine, a schedule, and my babies start to show

00:02:46.080 their personalities. So that's like three months and on. The first three months is just hard because

00:02:50.680 you're super sleep deprived and your baby isn't really responsive to you. So it's all your love

00:02:55.260 going in and not so much coming out. The toddler stage is hard for different reasons because you're

00:03:00.460 moving from caretaking into parenting. But if you're intentional about the way that you parent,

00:03:04.800 I don't think it's that difficult. And you can communicate, which I love. I love communicating

00:03:09.200 with my son. I think it's just the best thing ever. So that is the less hard part of toddler

00:03:15.660 parenting is that he can tell you what he needs and wants. Is it exhausting? Yes. Do I get 10,000 steps

00:03:20.940 a day without trying? Yes. That to me isn't as hard as being sleep deprived, not being able to

00:03:26.860 understand what the baby needs from me, being anxious about their sleep, being anxious about

00:03:31.160 their nursing, all of those things like that you can't really control become less important over

00:03:37.640 time. I got a lot of questions about breastfeeding and I love talking about breastfeeding so I'm happy

00:03:43.140 to answer some of them. Have you had any latch issues with babies? Have you done bottle feeding?

00:03:48.020 Do you pump? Just had my first. So I didn't have latch issues with my babies but I had you know

00:03:55.620 different problems with each one. With my first, I caused an oversupply in my body and I pumped with

00:04:01.240 him but I really had created my own problem by using the haka in a really intense way. When I was

00:04:06.600 nursing on one side, I would put the haka on the other and so my body basically was like making 0.96

00:04:10.540 enough milk for two babies and that created a whole host of problems. My son was really good. My first

00:04:15.980 was really good at nursing. It's just that having an oversupply was uncomfortable for him and for me.

00:04:20.940 My second had some issues with latching where he was always clicking and I worked with a lactation

00:04:26.920 consultant and it was positional. He has a little bit of a high palate. He doesn't have any tongue tie

00:04:31.920 issues or anything like that but he kind of just grew out of it as he gets older which I find is

00:04:36.140 often the case is the baby needs to learn how to nurse in the first three months. Again, why the first

00:04:41.920 three months are hard. Babies are not very good at nursing and then after the first three months like

00:04:46.180 it's easy peasy because they can start to hold their head up and they can start to be a little more in

00:04:49.980 control of what's happening as opposed to just always the mom having to feed the baby. The baby 0.54

00:04:55.300 wants to come to mom. Do I pump? This time around, not at all. Didn't pump I don't think once which has

00:05:01.660 been lovely because I don't have to clean anything and I hate having to clean stuff. I hate having to

00:05:06.940 pump. I'd rather be an exclusively breastfeeding mom and not be able to go out a lot than have to 1.00

00:05:13.420 clean pump parts and do all of that. It just drives me crazy. I don't think there's anything wrong

00:05:17.260 with it. I just don't like it and my sons didn't really take bottles because of that. Ideal number

00:05:22.420 of kids to have. So I personally think three is the minimum people should have. Obviously two is normal

00:05:30.720 like two is normalized. Two is what most people will have but three is above a little bit above

00:05:37.260 replacement rate so that's good. I like that. I like that and then any more than that is amazing.

00:05:43.000 So there's no ideal number over three. We would love to have more than four but you know whatever

00:05:49.100 God gives us, whatever we can manage, that's the goal. We'd love to have a large, large family

00:05:55.040 but for me it's like anything above three is great. Can you explain modern Judaism? How Old Testament

00:06:01.560 laws translate to modern day? I'm probably not the best person to answer this just because

00:06:07.900 you know I can answer it from my knowledge as an orthodox Jew but I'm not a rabbi. Like that isn't 0.96

00:06:13.360 what I study but it's what I do and live. What I can say is modern orthodox Judaism is being a part of

00:06:22.180 the modern world while keeping the laws of the Old Testament and rabbinical law works with how the

00:06:29.200 world changes and moves to incorporate that stuff into law. So for example we're not supposed to use fire

00:06:36.680 on sabbath but we kind of over time have developed electricity so how does that come into play?

00:06:44.500 We're allowed to set things on timers before sabbath starts and not use electricity by touching it

00:06:52.300 ourselves on the sabbath. Instead we can set things to go on and off before sabbath starts. That's a way

00:06:58.060 that we can keep with the original law in our modern era. So we are not a faith that is stagnant

00:07:05.980 and doesn't change and says we have to stay back in like you know the before times and the olden times.

00:07:11.960 We have to adjust using what we know and understand about the law and what we know about modernity.

00:07:19.860 So that's how we have adjusted our faith over time and it's not that we are changing laws it's that we are

00:07:27.440 taking into account what is new. There are certain things that we will not ever allow. We won't ever allow

00:07:33.220 driving on sabbath because one of the most important tenets of orthodox Judaism is that we can only

00:07:39.880 live within a certain area of our synagogues and that allows us to all be really close physically

00:07:46.260 on sabbath so we can all walk to each other's houses and the kids can go play. As soon as cars

00:07:50.520 get like linked into this then everyone's really spread out. You have to drive to go to someone's

00:07:55.680 house. You have to make plans as opposed to everyone's out within one square mile. Everyone

00:07:59.840 can walk to each other's houses because everyone knows that they're there and you can go play with

00:08:03.340 each other's kids. Like that's a huge difference that being able to drive totally gets wrong and that's

00:08:11.140 actually been an issue with the conservative movement is that as soon as they allowed people to drive

00:08:15.380 people stopped going to synagogue as much. People could if you could drive to synagogue why not drive

00:08:19.720 to the zoo and you didn't have that sense of community anymore. So that is kind of how the

00:08:24.040 laws of the Old Testament have been brought into the modern day is through rabbinical law. Was I ever

00:08:29.220 not pro-life? No. I was always really pro-life and that is because when I was about 13 or 14 I found a book

00:08:37.420 at the bookstore all about pregnancy and how the baby developed from the very beginning and I thought it

00:08:43.580 was so incredible and so such a miracle that I couldn't understand why someone wouldn't be pro-life.

00:08:51.180 Like it was very difficult for me to understand. Now as an adult I can understand the arguments for why

00:08:55.500 someone would be pro-abortion but they're they're just wrong and if you look at all of the pro-life

00:09:04.700 arguments it's really hard not to be convinced of the fact that life begins at conception.

00:09:10.360 What's my favorite animal? I don't know why but horse is popping into my head. I love horses.

00:09:15.760 What's your skincare routine? It's flawless. I actually did a video about this a long time ago

00:09:20.960 because I used to have terrible skin. I had acne all over. There was a lot that went into me clearing

00:09:27.020 up my skin but mostly it was realizing that any topical treatment I did I had to use for the full six

00:09:34.920 weeks. I kept trying for like three weeks and then it wouldn't work and I would just dump out and be

00:09:39.640 like it doesn't work and I learned that using skincare for a full six weeks is necessary to

00:09:46.740 start to see small changes. As soon as I started using these topical ointments from my dermatologist

00:09:52.580 for a full six weeks and started to see small changes and then use them for a week beyond that

00:09:56.980 then I could start to see improvement. It was that it was using a like a silicone vibrating brush

00:10:06.240 those really helped clear out my skin and yeah I mean I think just growing up I think those were 0.74

00:10:11.600 the things I mean I was in my mid-20s before my skin really cleared up. How does your husband deal

00:10:16.740 with the vulgar comments made towards you? It used to be a little more jarring I think but as time has

00:10:22.300 gone on we're just kind of like oh okay people say stupid things and he feels the same way. He's like 0.98

00:10:27.500 yeah people say stupid things. I have an awesome beautiful wife but it's just people saying dumb 1.00

00:10:33.860 things and you can kind of get over that once you realize how it's really not important. How to

00:10:38.880 transition to modest clothing without throwing out your entire wardrobe? That is a great question

00:10:44.740 because I went through a period where I wasn't dressing as modestly and how do you kind of do that? How do

00:10:49.800 you keep some things and get rid of some things? So there are certain items you will have to get rid

00:10:55.000 of. Really really short shorts like that's just not going to be a really good fit. There are some

00:11:01.220 most things you can actually make work. So if you have like a spaghetti strap dress you can start by

00:11:05.940 wearing a shirt under it. If you have a crop top you can start by wearing a fitted dress underneath it

00:11:11.140 so that you don't show your belly. If you have a lot of leggings you can get some long tunics.

00:11:16.120 If you have a lot of dresses that are short that I would say is a little more complicated

00:11:22.500 but you could start by wearing leggings underneath them and then maybe transition those out of your

00:11:27.400 wardrobe over time. Or you can if you like sewing you can kind of sew a frill on the bottom and make

00:11:33.320 it longer. I've done that with some dresses. I find that TJ Maxx has a lot of great clothes that are

00:11:39.340 longer. I mean we're in an era of midi length clothing that is amazing. Like when I was in high school

00:11:45.920 nothing was a midi length. Everything was a mini skirt. So if I found a skirt that came to my knees

00:11:50.520 I would buy it no matter what. Even if I hated it because like nothing was long enough. But nowadays

00:11:54.720 so many clothes are long. So you could definitely find pretty inexpensive options to add to your

00:12:02.520 wardrobe that are longer. And I think that's kind of a good starting place is work with what you have

00:12:07.860 and then slowly build up a wardrobe that is more modest over time. Do you still sing opera? I sing

00:12:14.380 all the time around my house. Do I sing professionally? No because I'm a stay-at-home mom

00:12:19.940 with my kiddos. And also I am a religious Jew and you would have to perform and rehearse on Friday

00:12:25.580 nights and Saturdays which is my Sabbath. And I also don't want to perform and rehearse at night

00:12:30.360 because I want to be able to put my babies to sleep and I want to be able to spend time with my

00:12:33.260 husband. But if someone were to offer me a concert or something where it's not a ton of rehearsal time

00:12:37.780 and it's like one night. Absolutely. I would love to. What's your honest thoughts on liberal women?

00:12:42.180 Do you have liberal friends? I do have liberal friends. Honestly if we don't talk about politics

00:12:48.120 we can be friends. And actually this one liberal friend I have we can talk about politics. But for

00:12:53.500 the other women who I know who are liberal who I'm friendly with and have and are my friends 0.88

00:12:57.800 we just don't talk about politics. We talk a lot about like life. Like what are you doing with

00:13:03.220 your day-to-day? Often my liberal friends are liberal on paper but in practice are living out

00:13:09.300 conservative values. Like they are married, they have kids and so if we talk about their feelings

00:13:15.160 about certain things okay maybe they're more liberal but at the end of the day our lives look

00:13:18.980 pretty similar so it doesn't really matter. I think it would be difficult for me to have a friend

00:13:26.760 who was liberal who was living out a totally different lifestyle. And the reason I say that

00:13:31.380 is just because there's just not that much you have in common after a certain point. It's not that

00:13:35.540 I can't be friends with you. It's just if you're doing something totally different than I'm doing

00:13:40.680 all day every day there's just not so much to talk about. And so I'm happy to to like be friendly

00:13:47.520 with you but what do we commiserate about? What do we share opinions and advice on? Not so much over time.

00:13:55.640 So that's really the biggest thing. It's not so much about what you think but more about where

00:14:01.560 we're both at. So I got a lot of questions and it's funny I started off with the question about

00:14:05.800 my husband and how he reacts to the gross comments but I got a lot of questions about how do I feel

00:14:10.820 about being sexualized online. It is what it is. Like it's nothing. It's people being stupid and people

00:14:17.380 being gross and thinking they're funny when they're absolutely not. It's like that really annoying kid 1.00

00:14:22.120 in class who just keeps bothering the teacher and you're just like can you stop? No one thinks you're

00:14:27.060 funny. That's what it is. I'm like can you just stop? You're bothering the people who want to hang

00:14:32.320 out in my comments and actually have a conversation and are here for the right reasons. You're just

00:14:37.320 annoying and you're not funny. Like that's what it feels like. I don't care about it emotionally. It really

00:14:42.920 doesn't affect me. It's kind of like oh you want to say a stupid thing? Congrats you did it. 1.00

00:14:47.720 But from the perspective of they are harassing others in the comments that I don't like. I don't

00:14:54.420 like that they're harassing my followers. I just think that's rude and inappropriate. Encouraging

00:15:00.280 a friend who's made opposite life choices from you. High value friend. This is something I think

00:15:05.340 is interesting. It depends what those opposite life choices are. If they are making opposite life

00:15:10.440 choices and I think that their life makes sense for them I can encourage them. But I'm not going to

00:15:16.580 encourage someone to make life choices that are different from mine when it's not a positive

00:15:22.600 life choice. And you might say like how do you know what's positive for them? Because I care about

00:15:27.340 them. Because I am their friend. I can look at the way they're reacting and responding to their

00:15:32.260 lifestyle and say oh this doesn't look positive for you. I don't think it makes you a good friend

00:15:38.020 to encourage or support someone in bad decision making. And I think that's a very female thing. 0.95

00:15:42.940 It's very female to just be like you do you. You're awesome. Keep going. You're great. Like 0.99

00:15:47.920 no matter what you do just keep doing it. And I will be there to say you are doing the right

00:15:52.660 thing. That doesn't make you a good friend. A good friend is somebody who is willing to tell

00:15:56.260 you when you're doing something that's not good for you. A good friend is someone who is willing

00:16:01.320 to risk the friendship for your sake. And that's not easy to hear but it's the truth. I mean

00:16:09.440 there are friends that are going to make poor choices and you can see it in the way that

00:16:15.120 they're anxious or depressed or feeling down. And you are I think a better friend if you

00:16:22.000 say let's talk about the choices you're making and let's see if we can help you make better

00:16:25.820 ones. As opposed to just keep going girl. You'll be fine. You don't need to be anxious.

00:16:31.560 Like how in what world is that helpful? I think that being a high value friend is looking at

00:16:38.560 your friend's decisions with her and coming up with a plan together to say like hey let's

00:16:45.040 get you back on track. How do I deal with co-workers who judge moms for only working a few shifts 1.00

00:16:50.460 a month? That's a hard one. I would say disregard them in your heart. Meaning try to not let that

00:16:57.640 permeate what you're doing because you know that your kids and your family come first.

00:17:03.040 From a practical perspective with those co-workers just be endlessly positive about the choices

00:17:09.500 you're making. That's what you do. If they're saying like oh my gosh you never were here. You're

00:17:15.340 never working. You don't take your job seriously. All you have to do is be like yeah but I get to be

00:17:20.100 with my kids. And I can see what an amazing gift that is. Like I feel really blessed that I get to do

00:17:25.380 that. Don't put them down but raise up your own choices. And just continually show how happy you

00:17:32.620 are for what you're doing. If they are making you feel bad or are judging your work. Just be like I

00:17:39.100 know I can do all of my work in the time that I'm here and at home I get to really focus on my kids.

00:17:45.840 I find that it's really easy to be negative about what other people are doing rather than positive

00:17:52.060 about your own choices. And instead flip that. Be positive about what you've decided to do. And

00:17:58.300 what are people going to do? Fight with you? I mean they can but if you continually just show how happy

00:18:03.800 you are and proud of yourself you are that you've made these choices I think that people will kind

00:18:08.820 of back off. Fave brands to shop from. Brands and stores I would say are kind of the places I shop

00:18:14.460 from. So Amazon, TJ Maxx, Target. Those would be my three places that I really go shopping. And then

00:18:20.480 everything else is like a one-off or a gift. Since being a mother have any opinions you held before

00:18:25.260 having kids changed? Hmm that's a good question. So something that I hear all the time which I

00:18:31.440 really hate is the concept of I was a better mother before I had kids. And people say that in

00:18:37.480 the context of like oh I said my kids would never throw food on the floor. And I said that my kids

00:18:42.280 would never cry in public. And I said my kids were never gonna have a tantrum. I hate that. I don't

00:18:46.440 think it's true. And I'll tell you why. Because I never said that I wouldn't allow my children to do

00:18:53.160 natural kid things. Like I never believed that I was never gonna have kids who cried or threw tantrums

00:18:58.900 or like did any of that. But after becoming a mom I became so much more intent about following up

00:19:05.400 reading books and like doing research to find answers to the things that I was coming up against.

00:19:10.340 So I became a better mom after I had kids. I wanted to improve constantly. And I wanted to

00:19:18.400 understand why my children were doing this and doing that. And how I could get different reactions

00:19:22.720 and improve my relationship with them. And get them to be better as they grew. Like I wanted to be a

00:19:30.520 better mom. And they inspired me to do that. I think often people say like I was a better mom before

00:19:35.500 I had kids. Because they want to justify that they don't have that intentionality. And now their kids

00:19:40.580 are a problem. And they are like so confused. What am I supposed to do? You're supposed to look it up.

00:19:45.520 You're supposed to ask friends. Ask family. Get wisdom from your mom. Research online. Like search on

00:19:53.380 Instagram. I get a lot of answers from Instagram. And I find that I've become a better mom after I had

00:19:58.860 kids. Because I look for answers. I don't just assume well this is how things are. And deal with

00:20:06.060 it. Like when my son started having a bout of the terrible twos. I could have just said well I was a

00:20:12.080 better mom before I had kids. Because I would have never thought he would act like this. But instead

00:20:16.760 of saying just that. And then leaving it be. And allowing my son to spiral into the terrible twos.

00:20:23.580 I did a ton of research about like how can I help him. How can I understand him better. And I think

00:20:30.600 that that has been a huge improvement. Like he has not acted negatively since I incorporated that

00:20:38.680 stuff. So what has changed after becoming a mom? I've become a better mom since having kids.

00:20:45.400 What advice do you give to teens who want to become stay-at-home moms? The truth is I give this

00:20:49.880 advice across the board. Do research into jobs that are part-time. Or that are something you can

00:20:56.720 enter. Step away from for a long time. And then re-enter. So you can't guarantee right when you're

00:21:02.420 going to get married. And when you're going to have kids. Find something that you enjoy for the moment.

00:21:07.220 But that if you were to take 20-25 years off. That you could re-enter the workforce. And it

00:21:14.060 wouldn't hurt your resume. And before you get married. And before you have kids. You are still doing

00:21:18.560 something you enjoy. So for example nursing. Nursing is like the perfect example. Being a nurse

00:21:23.880 is a really good option. Because it can be something you're passionate about. You can be really good at

00:21:28.300 it. And then you can take off time to have a family and be a stay-at-home mom before you go back into

00:21:35.080 work when your kids are grown. So I think that that's a really good way to approach working. And not

00:21:41.300 just saying okay well I'm never going to get a job. Because you may need a job between the time you

00:21:45.460 graduate high school. And get married. So during that time find something that you like. That is

00:21:52.200 flexible. And that could transition into being a stay-at-home mom. And out of being a stay-at-home 0.99

00:21:56.680 mom. Do you take it really easy on Sundays? I think that's a cool tradition. For us Saturday is Sabbath.

00:22:02.300 So that's our community day. And then Sunday is our family day. So that's the day we like to go out

00:22:06.900 and do things together as a family. And we just love that. Okay we're back. This is a very long video.

00:22:14.200 And it got cut off in the middle. So let's keep going. How did you and your husband know it was

00:22:18.320 the right time to have another baby? We want to have a big family. My first I had when I was

00:22:24.100 28. And so we are trying to have the majority of our children before you know I'm over 35.

00:22:34.780 It's not terrible to have children over 35. But we would prefer to not have too many kids after I'm

00:22:39.880 35. So we basically felt excited about having more kids at a certain point. And I couldn't

00:22:48.860 ovulate while I was breastfeeding. So I basically said I want to breastfeed to a year and then we can

00:22:54.620 start trying. So I breastfed for a year and then I got pregnant. Travel location bucket list. That's fun.

00:23:02.520 I would love to go to Greece. Santorini. I would love to go to France again. I've been to Paris.

00:23:09.640 I would love to go to the Amalfi Coast. I would love to go to spend more time in England. I was there

00:23:16.940 just a little bit. Scotland, Ireland. I would love to see parts of Spain. I would love to travel really

00:23:24.500 Europe. Like that's what I'm most interested in is the history and the beauty and art of Europe.

00:23:29.320 And also I would love to see more states in the United States because the United States is huge.

00:23:34.120 So that'd be really fun. Your views on vaccines. Hmm. I think I've talked about this before. I am pro

00:23:41.640 tried and tested vaccines. I think that there's a lot of great things that come out of vaccines.

00:23:48.340 My sons have their vaccines. I was very not comfortable with the COVID vaccine. So I did not get

00:23:54.060 it. My sons do not have it. My husband does not have it. None of us got the COVID vaccine. We weren't

00:23:58.480 comfortable with the COVID vaccine. And I am really grateful we did not get it. What is your

00:24:02.700 favorite movie or at least a top five? Man, there's a lot. Lord of the Rings. You've got mail.

00:24:10.900 Gone with the Wind. Hmm. Gotta think of a musical. Gotta think of a musical. Oh,

00:24:16.080 Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. That's four. We'll just, we'll do that for now. But there's,

00:24:19.440 oh my gosh, I love movies. I love movies and I love reviewing movies.

00:24:22.760 How was transition from one baby to two? Expecting number two and starting to feel nervous about it

00:24:28.600 all. Oh, I was so nervous about the transition to two. Seriously. I remember crying even in the

00:24:34.580 hospital because after I had the baby, my son was with my parents and I was like all nervous and

00:24:41.980 anxious that my second son was going to feel unloved because I really had never been away from him.

00:24:47.180 And we were, we were away while I gave birth and I was like, oh my God, the transition has been

00:24:52.200 amazing. Like so, so good. Before you have your second, I recommend reading the book Siblings

00:24:57.920 Without Rivalry. I talked about that in my last video. It really helped us a lot. And one of the

00:25:03.200 things that we were really intent on was we didn't want our son to meet the baby in the hospital

00:25:08.000 because I felt like that would be confusing. Like he meets the baby in the hospital and then he goes

00:25:12.160 home and doesn't really understand that the baby's coming home. So it's like, okay, here's a baby.

00:25:17.180 And now the baby's in our house. I just wanted the only meeting to be in the house where it's

00:25:22.300 like, okay, we brought the baby home and the baby is staying. I think that really helped. And also

00:25:27.240 I've read a number of places that the mom should not be holding the new baby. You should keep your 1.00

00:25:34.260 arms free and open for your whole older child so that they don't feel replaced immediately. It's like,

00:25:40.420 oh, the baby's over here and he's in the family now, but I'm still mommy's baby. And that was also

00:25:45.960 something. We called the baby your baby. Like we told my son it was his baby. And I called my older

00:25:52.240 son my baby all the time. I never said, you're a big boy now. I never said like, you're older and

00:25:57.620 this is the baby. They were both my babies. I think that all of that together worked so beautifully for

00:26:03.760 the transition and they love each other so much. And it's really never been a huge problem. Like

00:26:09.400 there's never been any jealousy. And I remember just recently I said to my older son, like, oh,

00:26:13.360 we're going to go on a date, just you and me. And he was like, where's the baby? Why aren't we

00:26:17.460 bringing the baby? And I just thought that was the sweetest thing ever that he wanted the baby to come

00:26:22.800 with him. So it's going to be wonderful. The first three months in the same way that having a newborn

00:26:27.840 is hard, it's hard to do it with an older child because you're just not on a schedule yet and your

00:26:31.700 older child is on a schedule. So you're just like trying to manage time is hard. But once you come out

00:26:36.300 of that first three months, it's really smooth sailing. Like the two of them are going to love each

00:26:41.520 other when you approach it the right way. And then the first three months are a little tricky

00:26:46.160 because you're just trying to get into the swing. But after you're in the swing of things, it's

00:26:49.820 great. Okay, so the last question is, do you have other hobbies you don't typically mention? And I feel

00:26:57.500 like I have a lot of hobbies. I like writing. I like writing stories. I haven't done it in a while,

00:27:02.340 but I do like writing a lot. I like drawing. I like sewing. I do like weightlifting. I wouldn't call

00:27:07.720 it a hobby, but it's something that I do. I like interior design. We just redesigned our whole house

00:27:13.580 and that was really fun. Like I love interior design actually. And I like event planning. I

00:27:20.040 like planning parties. So yeah, that's the kind of stuff that I really like to do. And those are my

00:27:24.700 hobbies. So that is it for today. I hope you guys enjoyed today's video. Let me know your thoughts in

00:27:29.700 the comments below. And I would love to know if I answered your question. So make sure to leave that

00:27:33.940 in the comments. And if you watched all the way till the end of today's video, leave a question mark

00:27:38.620 emoji. That's an emoji, right? Thank you guys so much for watching and I'll see you guys in my next video.

00:27:43.040 Bye!

Classically Abby - July 31, 2024

THIS IS A JUICY Q&A - we're talking about IT ALL!

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