What I'm MOST Scared Of For MOTHERHOOD ⧸⧸ Classic Chats With Abby
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, I talk about the fear of motherhood and how it s almost here! I also talk about how I m feeling this close to meeting my son and what I m worried about as a mother.
Transcript
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Hello Classic Crew and welcome to today's video where we're going to be talking about
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If you are new to my channel, here we talk about classic living and traditional values
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and it's really where our community is growing and flourishing and I've just had the most amazing
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time getting to know you guys. We do Zoom calls once a month where we do book clubs and I've
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actually gotten to speak to so many of you guys and so I've really loved it. So if you're interested
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in subscribing head over to classicallyabby.substack.com. So recently on my channel I've been doing
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kind of a series of just sharing my thoughts and talking about my feelings as I've been changing
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as a person through my pregnancy. I do feel like so many different things have been brought to the
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forefront of my mind and I've really enjoyed the opportunity to talk and share about it with you
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all and hear your thoughts and opinions on it. So videos like this are not intended to change anyone's
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mind. They're really just a place for us to discuss and chat and share our ideas.
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So today I want to talk about motherhood. How it's almost here. My due date is about four weeks away.
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I'm 36 weeks and you know it's so real now. So I'm really excited to get into today's video. So let's
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start. So the first thing I want to talk about is how I was feeling about three weeks ago and how I was
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afraid of meeting our son. You know I think that it's it's a really scary idea that you're about to
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meet a whole other person who you're just going to have these incredible emotions and feelings for
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and you can't experience it until you've experienced it. So I don't know if you've been there if you are
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a mother there's this fear of like what what if I don't know my kid? What if I don't have that feeling
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that everyone describes? And I really I kind of talked to my mom about it because I was feeling
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a little bit worried and I talked to Jacob about it and actually he was the one who gave me some
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insight and because I've loved being pregnant so much and I'm really gonna miss it and I'm really
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gonna miss having this little little guy inside of me. Jacob said to me you know I think that it's
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natural for you to feel like you know who he is in there and you don't know who he's gonna be when
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he's born and that was just such a good way of putting it. Once Jacob kind of verbalized that
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feeling of I know this guy who's who's been inside of me I know this guy who's growing I know this little
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boy but I don't know what he's gonna look like I don't know anything about him really once he's
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outside and kind of verbalizing that actually allowed me to get more excited about meeting him.
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It made me go oh I I do know this little boy I know him I'm I've grown him and it's just a matter
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of me getting to meet him in a sense. I think that that really just put into perspective the fear I was
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having of like who is this little baby gonna be? No no no I know who he is he's just he's just
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here now inside my belly and not born yet. That made me feel so much more excited to meet him and
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now I'm like on the edge of my seat. I can't wait but I know that there is a fear I would assume for
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many of us of I hope I feel this feeling that everyone says is gonna happen when I have my baby
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where this is everything to me. So I'd really love if you would share your thoughts and feelings in the
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comments if you are somebody like me if you're in the in your pregnancy and you've had that fear
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or if you've already had a child and you kind of now know that that was a fear that didn't need to
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have happened or if you're somebody who isn't pregnant yet but you felt that fear just outside
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of anything. I think that's just an interesting thing to talk about. Something else I've been thinking
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about is what I'm the most worried about as a mother. I'm not worried about him as an infant and what I
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would do to him that I would be like a bad mother to a baby because there's only so much you can do
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wrong in the sense of he sleeps, he eats, he goes to the bathroom. So if I'm there for all of those
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things and take care of him for all of those things there's really not too much that I can mess up.
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The stuff that I think about and I get worried about as a mother is you know when he's old enough
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to ask questions and when he's old enough to remember my behavior and I want to make sure that
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he always looks back on us raising him in a really positive way and he feels excited about what we're
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teaching him. That's a really big responsibility and I think it's a it's a really wonderful responsibility
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that God gives us that we are able to influence and shape our children's minds
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but it's also scary because there's so much that you can that you can mess up.
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As my mom always says you're never going to get out of this life without a skinned knee
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in the sense that you know no matter what you do even if you're a wonderful parent there's no such thing
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as a perfect parent and your child is always going to have some problems with what you did
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growing up and I'm sure that's just part and parcel of being a parent and and I'm prepared for that in
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a sense but I would really and it's important to me that we do our utmost to give our child and give
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our children the opportunity to look at their childhood fondly and that's that's what's important
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to me. One of the things that I've been thinking about too is just about how all the sources that
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are available to us is is just so overwhelming. It's like the worst form of decision fatigue. I don't
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know if you've heard this uh before I don't know if you've heard that phrase before but decision fatigue
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is the idea that we can only make so many decisions in a day before our brains just go enough now and you
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just can't make any more choices. With parenting I feel like that's a constant battle. You're just
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constantly faced with choices especially with the onslaught of information presented to us.
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Should we do this? Should we do that? Should we sleep train? Should we cry it out? Should we not do any
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of that? Should we do attachment parenting? I mean there's so many different ways to parent and you have
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to ultimately make the choice that's best for your family but there's so many choices to make
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and you know I guess we're lucky that we have access to so much information and we have access
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to so many different options so that we can make informed decisions but it's also like oh my gosh
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this is a lot which is why I think it's so nice and so lovely that I have you know my family to go to
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for advice. I have Jacob's family to go to for advice. I can see and put into practice things
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from people around me who I respect and love and who I think are good at parenting and say okay well
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I want to do the same thing or maybe I want to do some things differently and seeing it in practice
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as opposed to trying to do everything from scratch. I think that's something I remember reading
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somewhere is that it's not always the best idea to try and approach parenting as if you're doing it
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from scratch because there are traditions that have made sense for so long regarding parenting
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and children that really do work and you don't always have to go to the newest idea to raise your
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kids but I'd be curious to know how did you choose what was best for your parenting style? Did you kind
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of go to family? Did you read a lot of books? Or if you aren't a parent yet what would you go to look
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for? Do you think that you would like want to copy your parents or do you think that you would seek
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out advice on the internet? That kind of thing. I'm curious to know. So what am I the most confident
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about with motherhood, entering motherhood? Having Jacob alongside me. I am so excited to parent
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alongside my husband. Jacob is such a good man. He's such a good husband and he will be such an amazing
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father. I have no doubt. And we really agree on all the fundamentals and all the basics about parenting
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so we really can support each other in this journey and we both are really intent on being
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intentional and deliberate with our parenting. So we really want to come to each other and be able
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to say you know I noticed that you did this today and I don't think maybe that was the best approach
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or this was a really wonderful thing you did today and let's try and keep that up in the future
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because I want to do that too. You know I think that having Jacob alongside me is it is just the
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best feeling in the world to know that I have the best partner in the world to raise this little boy.
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I think it can be very easy to fall into this trap as as mothers that we are going to have to go into
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all of this alone even though our husbands are right there. But because pregnancy is very you know
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we're the ones going through it even though our husbands are supporting us it can almost kind of
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give you this feeling of like oh motherhood is going to be alone too and not at all. As soon as I
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think about Jacob being this most active participant as a father and a husband it like makes all of my
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stress about motherhood go away because I know that I'll have him there and I know how wonderful he's
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going to be in helping me and helping me raise this boy and being such a good father. The thing
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that I'm looking forward to the most is this new phase of life is starting our family. It's so funny
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because when we got pregnant I don't feel like emotionally connected to this specific pregnancy.
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I view it as the first of many which is a nice perspective to have in a sense because it's like
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now we're on this stage of life. Now we're on this phase of life. It's not like oh I really have to
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cling to this pregnancy because it might be only one of two or something. Because I view this as
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now we are starting our family and now this is the first of many times I'm going to do this. Please
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God with God's help. Of course I value this pregnancy. Of course I value this baby. Oh my gosh. But
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it's also part and parcel of something greater and a bigger journey that we're on. And that's really
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exciting. I'm so excited to now be entering motherhood and seeing what this is going to be
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like. You know not just to this little boy but to his siblings. I can't wait to have a full house.
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That is just a dream. It's truly a dream. And I'm really I'm just I'm very grateful for this whole
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experience of getting to carry my son and getting to hopefully do that many more times. And viewing
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this pregnancy as just the first one. It's not the end of my time before being a mother. It's the
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beginning of this new stage. I uh I'm just really excited. So that that's something I'm like I'm on
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the edge of my seat for. I'm now at the point where I'm so ready to meet this little boy. Like it's
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really interesting. I don't fear labor. I think I did for a while. Absolutely I did. I know I did.
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But at this point I'm just like let's do this. I'm ready. It's I'm sure it's not gonna be fun. But
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I've also you know I've heard people's stories positive birth stories that make me really excited.
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That make me really excited for the opportunity. But also to meet my boy and that first meeting. I mean
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you can't do anything better than that. Truly. So that I think is where I'm gonna end it today.
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But I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments. If you aren't already subscribed to
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my channel make sure to subscribe and hit that notification bell. If you want to subscribe to
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my Substack newsletter and join our community over there I would love if you would head over to
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classicallyabby.substack.com. And if you'd like to follow me on social media it's at
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classicallyabby absolutely everywhere. I also wanted to mention at the end of this video I'll probably
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say it in a couple more videos that I am going to be having a baby soon. So I will be trying to
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get as much pre-recorded as possible before this baby comes. But I may have to go on some sort of
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maternity leave. And if I'm not on YouTube for a while that's why as you might imagine. So just so
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you're aware I may have to take a break from YouTube after this baby's born. Thank you so much for watching