Classically Abby - Why Twitter Is AGE-SHAMING Women In Their 30s.

00:00:00.000 today we're going to answer that controversial question right now is 30 old for women 0.99

00:00:09.840 hello and welcome back to my channel if you are new here my name is abby and here we talk about

00:00:14.720 common sense commentary where i give you my opinions on what's going on in the culture

00:00:20.320 and i think it's just common sense so if you are interested in that please go ahead and subscribe

00:00:25.440 and like this video and make sure to drop a comment down below sharing your thoughts on today's topic

00:00:31.120 but i'm really excited to talk about this because i have been seeing this controversy going around

00:00:35.600 on twitter and i think that there is a lot to dig in here i have a lot of opinions on it and i think

00:00:41.520 that honestly i think that there are people who are polarized too much one direction and too much

00:00:46.720 the other direction the question is really what happens when a woman is over 30 right like does 1.00

00:00:52.480 she become less attractive from a dating perspective and we're not just talking about

00:00:58.080 physically we're talking about everything that comes along with aging and i just want to talk

00:01:02.240 about what i think the facts are on the ground so let's go ahead and get right into it by the way if

00:01:08.000 you hear any squeaking and little coos during this video my little four month old is sitting off camera

00:01:14.240 hanging out with me while i record so let's start off with what is the controversy how did this start

00:01:19.680 what are people saying there's a whole conversation going on on twitter right now about kind of is 30

00:01:25.680 too old for women and there's different elements of that there are people like hannah pearl davis 1.00

00:01:31.120 saying that 20 is hotter than 30 and there are people like charlie kirk who are saying that you are

00:01:37.120 a less attractive dating prospect in your 30s than you were in your 20s so i think that that's kind of

00:01:43.200 the the start of all this the controversy has run the gamut a little bit because the question of

00:01:50.960 are women hotter when they're in their 20s or their 30s i think is a different question than 0.96

00:01:58.640 are you now completely off the market when you're in your 30s and just a completely unable to get married

00:02:05.360 so let's dive into that a little bit essentially i think the question is what is the purpose of

00:02:11.760 people bringing up this conversation why do people want to discuss this at all if the goal is to warn

00:02:19.680 young women and to encourage them to make good choices from a young age so that they don't wait 0.69

00:02:26.880 until their 30s to get married they can get married younger have more options have longer better

00:02:33.280 marriages i think that's good i think talking about this from that perspective and saying like hey

00:02:38.480 i know that the culture is encouraging you to wait longer and longer and longer to get married

00:02:42.960 wait until you're in your mid 30s your fertility can wait all these other things can wait but at

00:02:48.560 the end of the day getting married younger is actually a wonderful good thing and we should

00:02:51.760 encourage that that i'm on board with that i think can be useful if you're talking to college-aged

00:02:58.400 women saying hey i know you're 18 now but 30 comes around real quick and using your time effectively

00:03:04.880 when you're younger so that you can meet the right person and not lose out time with someone that you

00:03:10.800 can spend your life with you can make better choices i can get behind that the other part of

00:03:15.360 the conversation that i think is absolutely malicious and unforgivable is shaming women who are already in

00:03:23.520 their 30s for not being married yet and i think that that is completely ineffective there are people who are

00:03:29.680 just trying to make women who are in their 30s feel bad for two reasons that's not a good idea 1.00

00:03:34.320 number one is if you did kind of waste your 20s and now you're in your 30s and you realize you made

00:03:40.320 a mistake it doesn't help to be told hey you made a mistake it's a lot better if someone's like hey

00:03:45.200 let's find a solution to your problem and then there are the women who really put in the effort in 1.00

00:03:50.160 their 20s to meet somebody and they just haven't met the right person yet and now they're in their 30s and 0.95

00:03:54.880 they're being told you're too old this isn't going to happen for you sucks to be you all of that is 0.84

00:04:00.720 absolutely the wrong approach and is mean and hurtful and i think that's awful i think anybody 0.92

00:04:07.680 who is targeting women in their 30s and trying to make them feel bad for being in their 30s

00:04:13.520 is terrible personally i am 30 now i got married when i was 24. i grew up in the orthodox jewish community

00:04:20.320 and i remember having fear in the pit of my stomach about being older when i got married

00:04:26.160 because i wanted to get married young i wanted to start a family young and i knew that getting married

00:04:32.080 in your 30s isn't as ideal and i know that there are a lot of women who feel that way and they feel

00:04:36.800 bad about themselves because they haven't gotten married yet when they're in their 30s and i never

00:04:40.800 want women who have tried and are trying to get married young to feel bad that they haven't because

00:04:46.880 it's not their fault they are doing everything they can to make the good decisions to find the

00:04:51.360 right guy to build their lives around what a future could look like that would include a good marriage

00:04:56.960 and healthy children and all of that and it just hasn't happened yet so i think that side of this

00:05:02.800 conversation that is shaming women in their 30s i can't get behind so now that we know kind of what 0.84

00:05:08.480 the conversation is and what the problems with the conversation can be what's the truth what's the

00:05:15.040 truth about aging in your 30s i think that the thing about getting married younger is important

00:05:21.040 for for a lot of reasons number one is fertility that is absolutely problem number one that we need

00:05:26.480 to discuss as a woman your fertility wanes as you get older everyone knows this we have a biological

00:05:32.160 clock and so getting married in your 30s isn't as ideal right we shouldn't be telling young woman to 0.99

00:05:37.680 wait until they're 30 to get married because really your fertile years are before 35 they say that a

00:05:45.760 geriatric pregnancy is post 35 now i know that there are a lot of women who will say that no this is

00:05:50.640 all a psyop that they're trying to discourage women from having children later and later i think that

00:05:56.720 that's incorrect scientifically incorrect i mean the quality of your eggs is not as good in your late

00:06:02.160 30s as it is in your early 20s and it's not to say that you can't have perfectly beautiful healthy

00:06:08.560 children into your late 30s but making the conscious choice to wait till you're in your mid to late 30s

00:06:15.120 to have children that's a scary thing because as somebody who you know had a miscarriage before i had

00:06:20.640 my first child and that was absolutely devastating to me i know how unpredictable fertility can be and how

00:06:28.880 people can think that they have a plan they know exactly when they want to have children and then

00:06:34.160 it takes them a couple of years to conceive and if you're 32 and it takes you two years to conceive

00:06:39.040 now you're 34 and your next child you're probably not going to have until you're 37 38 and again the

00:06:46.400 quality of your fertility declines as you age so that's one of the reasons that being older when you

00:06:54.240 get married isn't as great if you can get married younger that is a positive another thing about

00:07:01.040 getting married younger as opposed to getting married in your 30s is that by the time you're in

00:07:05.120 your 30s often you are settled into your ways and it can be difficult to introduce a new person into your

00:07:11.280 life and say hey we're gonna really build a life together and mold it as a team it can be difficult to

00:07:18.320 welcome someone into your routines into your habits when you really have them ingrained for so long

00:07:23.360 i think that when you get married younger it's easier to incorporate a new person into your life

00:07:28.240 and build those routines together the lie that being a girl boss is worth more than having a family 1.00

00:07:34.640 in those young fertile years that was my baby is a lie it's just a lie those years in your 20s

00:07:41.760 are the years that are meant for meeting someone starting a family and building a life together and

00:07:47.920 focusing on work over that and saying push off that stuff till you're older is just not as wise

00:07:54.080 and it's not going to make you as attractive of a prospective dating partner and on a kind of different

00:07:59.600 note here outside of the dating question right if we're actually talking about the physical

00:08:05.680 attractiveness of a person when they are older i mean i agree with the concept that women are generally 1.00

00:08:14.480 not always but generally more attractive when they're younger your body has more collagen your

00:08:20.160 your body is more youthful if you've had children you're going to look different over time and i think

00:08:26.080 that that's part of the conversation on twitter that has bothered me is a lot of women being like 1.00

00:08:29.920 no no women are just as hot in their 30s as they are in their 20s and it's like if you've had kids 1.00

00:08:35.760 and your body has gone through a lot of different changes and shifts you're probably not going to be

00:08:40.320 as physically attractive as you were before you had kids it doesn't matter your husband will think

00:08:45.600 you are more attractive for having given him children that is something i know to be true

00:08:49.920 that men find it more attractive to have a wife that bore them children than to have a wife who 0.98

00:08:55.520 doesn't want to have children but keeps her hot bod but it the conversation needs to be realistic 0.66

00:09:01.040 that generally women in their 20s are going to be more attractive than older women like that just is 0.96

00:09:06.880 not always but often okay so what's the caveat here what's the caveat regarding okay younger women 0.99

00:09:14.400 are more attractive as a dating prospect and older women may not be as attractive as a dating partner 1.00

00:09:20.320 well number one is when people talk about 20s versus 30s if they are talking online about this

00:09:26.880 concept and they are coming from a place of truthfully trying to help and you're a 30 year old

00:09:32.160 woman who has done her best or is now trying to date stop getting yourself involved in the conversation

00:09:37.920 it's not about you it's not aimed at you it's aimed at those younger women that we're trying to guide to

00:09:43.760 make better choices but you don't have to feel guilty or bad or targeted because it's not targeting

00:09:50.880 you and i think it's important for you to say okay i know that i have the capability to make this about

00:09:57.520 me i know i have bad feelings about this but i'm going to respectfully remove myself from this

00:10:04.000 conversation because it's not about me and what i think is so important here is that love and marriage

00:10:09.920 all happen in god's timing there are women who try their hardest to get married in their 20s really 1.00

00:10:15.840 work hard to meet that right person make good life choices and still don't meet their right person

00:10:20.160 until they're 37 and that's okay they were supposed to meet that person at that time that's what god

00:10:26.000 planned for them and that's who they needed to be with and if they had gotten married to someone

00:10:29.680 younger it wouldn't have been the right person and i think that there's a beauty in that there's a

00:10:33.840 beauty in a woman who thinks she's going to get married young but finding the right person when she 1.00

00:10:38.640 is in her 30s because god has a plan for all of us on top of that every woman is unique and every 0.99

00:10:44.080 woman can look different or better at different ages in her life i mean there are some women who really 1.00

00:10:48.480 do look better at 35 than they did at 23. it just kind of depends on your genetics and i think that

00:10:55.760 there are unique circumstances where women do look more attractive as they get older so that's

00:11:00.960 something to keep in mind too it's all for a given case right a man who falls in love with a 35 year

00:11:07.920 old woman he thinks she is most beautiful then at that time if he had met her at 23 he would probably 0.98

00:11:14.640 also think she was beautiful but it wasn't the right time for them the right time for them is

00:11:18.720 when she's older and he thinks she is stunning just the way she is that's why they're getting married

00:11:22.960 then so those are the caveats to yes 20s are generally more attractive for a lot of reasons

00:11:29.040 and your 30s are maybe a little less attractive so what's the takeaway here number one is don't waste

00:11:34.480 your time trying to be a girl boss in your 20s and putting off marriage and children till your 30s 0.64

00:11:40.240 that's the real takeaway if you're in your 20s use that time you're to your advantage use this time

00:11:45.840 to attract a partner find someone you can live your life with have a beautiful family with and

00:11:51.760 invest in that relationship that's going to mean so much in your life don't take the modern narrative

00:11:58.320 that you can wait until you're 30 your 20s are about building up your career because i'm gonna tell

00:12:02.960 you a little secret and it's called you're gonna have a baby and there is a really good chance you're

00:12:07.680 gonna want to just leave your career behind completely i know that for a lot of my friends

00:12:12.480 that was the case so your 20s is not so much about being a girl boss your 20s can be about developing 0.98

00:12:18.880 yourself while looking for that right person don't get taken in by the idea that oh it's 30 flirty and

00:12:24.720 thriving that's when the dating happens no the dating happens in your 20s the 30s are for having

00:12:30.720 children raising children making your family grow okay like that's what i think and obviously you can have

00:12:37.280 kids in your 20s too i mean i had kids when i was 28 but being older isn't a bad thing and it's not

00:12:44.320 going to discount you from meeting a spouse there are wonderful things about being in your 30s especially

00:12:50.320 when we discount vanity altogether because vanity really isn't important you don't have to be as

00:12:54.800 hot at 35 as you were at 22 i know i'm not as hot at 30 that i was at 21 you know i've had babies i'm

00:13:01.600 just i just look different now and that is absolutely okay but there are things about me

00:13:07.600 about my personality that i think are more attractive i know what i want i know what i

00:13:11.520 believe i'm more confident and that's all wonderful that's all awesome about being a woman in my 30s

00:13:18.880 so if you are a woman in your 30s don't feel bad about where you're at if you are trying to meet

00:13:24.800 someone or if you have tried to meet someone the fact that you are in your 30s does not make you

00:13:28.720 undateable my husband and i were talking about this and he had a very good turn of phrase and he

00:13:33.120 said people have a consumerist vision of their 20s like just use it consume it this is the time

00:13:39.040 that's fun it doesn't matter what you do everything is fleeting that's your 20s and then they have an

00:13:44.160 investment mindset in their 30s but really the investment needs to start in your 20s for the

00:13:49.360 investments to pay off in your 30s if you wait until your 30s to start making those bigger life

00:13:55.040 choices bigger life plans it may not play out the way that you want it the truth is that the

00:13:59.840 concern about age and hotness is so much less important when you're married because there's

00:14:03.760 so many different parts of being attracted to your partner and vanity and looks are just a small

00:14:10.000 subset of it like yes of course you are attracted to your partner physically but there's a lot to

00:14:15.600 being attracted to your partner that doesn't have to do with that it has to do with them doing nice

00:14:19.840 things for you or spending time together and making them laugh or taking care of the kids or

00:14:25.200 burying someone children like that attractive conversation has a lot more depth when you're

00:14:30.960 married when you're dating initially for sure attractiveness is flattened and a lot of it is

00:14:36.480 about what you look like and so that's why the conversation is being had i think at the end of the

00:14:42.800 day just don't make choices that are going to set you back but if you've made choices that are good

00:14:50.000 then understand that it just hasn't worked out there's a difference and i think it's important

00:14:54.240 to understand that so that is my view on the whole debate on women in their 30s i want to hear your

00:15:01.360 thoughts in the comments down below what do you think do you think that this conversation can be had

00:15:06.080 realistically that there is some level of attractiveness that is more potent in your 20s

00:15:12.000 than your 30s but that doesn't mean that a woman in her 30s is undateable and that there's a lot of 0.79

00:15:16.800 elements to this conversation i want to hear your thoughts in the comments down below so make sure

00:15:20.560 to leave something there and i would love if you've watched all the way to the end this is

00:15:25.040 our new thing now we're gonna leave emojis for every for every single video because i think it's

00:15:28.800 fun if you've watched all the way to the end leave an emoji that shows off your favorite season

00:15:34.960 okay leave it in the comments down below i look forward to seeing it and i'll see you guys in my

00:15:39.760 next video bye

00:15:58.400 you

Classically Abby - April 09, 2024

Why Twitter Is AGE-SHAMING Women In Their 30s.

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