Why Twitter Is AGE-SHAMING Women In Their 30s.
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Summary
Is 30 too old for women? What happens when a woman over 30 becomes unattractive from a dating perspective? Does she become less attractive? Is she now off the market when she s in her 30s? Are women hotter when they re in their 30s than when they are in their 20s or their 30 s? Today we re going to answer that controversial question right now.
Transcript
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today we're going to answer that controversial question right now is 30 old for women
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hello and welcome back to my channel if you are new here my name is abby and here we talk about
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common sense commentary where i give you my opinions on what's going on in the culture
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and i think it's just common sense so if you are interested in that please go ahead and subscribe
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and like this video and make sure to drop a comment down below sharing your thoughts on today's topic
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but i'm really excited to talk about this because i have been seeing this controversy going around
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on twitter and i think that there is a lot to dig in here i have a lot of opinions on it and i think
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that honestly i think that there are people who are polarized too much one direction and too much
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the other direction the question is really what happens when a woman is over 30 right like does
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she become less attractive from a dating perspective and we're not just talking about
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physically we're talking about everything that comes along with aging and i just want to talk
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about what i think the facts are on the ground so let's go ahead and get right into it by the way if
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you hear any squeaking and little coos during this video my little four month old is sitting off camera
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hanging out with me while i record so let's start off with what is the controversy how did this start
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what are people saying there's a whole conversation going on on twitter right now about kind of is 30
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too old for women and there's different elements of that there are people like hannah pearl davis
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saying that 20 is hotter than 30 and there are people like charlie kirk who are saying that you are
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a less attractive dating prospect in your 30s than you were in your 20s so i think that that's kind of
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the the start of all this the controversy has run the gamut a little bit because the question of
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are women hotter when they're in their 20s or their 30s i think is a different question than
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are you now completely off the market when you're in your 30s and just a completely unable to get married
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so let's dive into that a little bit essentially i think the question is what is the purpose of
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people bringing up this conversation why do people want to discuss this at all if the goal is to warn
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young women and to encourage them to make good choices from a young age so that they don't wait
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until their 30s to get married they can get married younger have more options have longer better
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marriages i think that's good i think talking about this from that perspective and saying like hey
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i know that the culture is encouraging you to wait longer and longer and longer to get married
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wait until you're in your mid 30s your fertility can wait all these other things can wait but at
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the end of the day getting married younger is actually a wonderful good thing and we should
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encourage that that i'm on board with that i think can be useful if you're talking to college-aged
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women saying hey i know you're 18 now but 30 comes around real quick and using your time effectively
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when you're younger so that you can meet the right person and not lose out time with someone that you
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can spend your life with you can make better choices i can get behind that the other part of
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the conversation that i think is absolutely malicious and unforgivable is shaming women who are already in
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their 30s for not being married yet and i think that that is completely ineffective there are people who are
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just trying to make women who are in their 30s feel bad for two reasons that's not a good idea
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number one is if you did kind of waste your 20s and now you're in your 30s and you realize you made
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a mistake it doesn't help to be told hey you made a mistake it's a lot better if someone's like hey
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let's find a solution to your problem and then there are the women who really put in the effort in
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their 20s to meet somebody and they just haven't met the right person yet and now they're in their 30s and
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they're being told you're too old this isn't going to happen for you sucks to be you all of that is
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absolutely the wrong approach and is mean and hurtful and i think that's awful i think anybody
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who is targeting women in their 30s and trying to make them feel bad for being in their 30s
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is terrible personally i am 30 now i got married when i was 24. i grew up in the orthodox jewish community
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and i remember having fear in the pit of my stomach about being older when i got married
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because i wanted to get married young i wanted to start a family young and i knew that getting married
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in your 30s isn't as ideal and i know that there are a lot of women who feel that way and they feel
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bad about themselves because they haven't gotten married yet when they're in their 30s and i never
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want women who have tried and are trying to get married young to feel bad that they haven't because
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it's not their fault they are doing everything they can to make the good decisions to find the
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right guy to build their lives around what a future could look like that would include a good marriage
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and healthy children and all of that and it just hasn't happened yet so i think that side of this
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conversation that is shaming women in their 30s i can't get behind so now that we know kind of what
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the conversation is and what the problems with the conversation can be what's the truth what's the
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truth about aging in your 30s i think that the thing about getting married younger is important
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for for a lot of reasons number one is fertility that is absolutely problem number one that we need
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to discuss as a woman your fertility wanes as you get older everyone knows this we have a biological
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clock and so getting married in your 30s isn't as ideal right we shouldn't be telling young woman to
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wait until they're 30 to get married because really your fertile years are before 35 they say that a
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geriatric pregnancy is post 35 now i know that there are a lot of women who will say that no this is
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all a psyop that they're trying to discourage women from having children later and later i think that
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that's incorrect scientifically incorrect i mean the quality of your eggs is not as good in your late
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30s as it is in your early 20s and it's not to say that you can't have perfectly beautiful healthy
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children into your late 30s but making the conscious choice to wait till you're in your mid to late 30s
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to have children that's a scary thing because as somebody who you know had a miscarriage before i had
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my first child and that was absolutely devastating to me i know how unpredictable fertility can be and how
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people can think that they have a plan they know exactly when they want to have children and then
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it takes them a couple of years to conceive and if you're 32 and it takes you two years to conceive
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now you're 34 and your next child you're probably not going to have until you're 37 38 and again the
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quality of your fertility declines as you age so that's one of the reasons that being older when you
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get married isn't as great if you can get married younger that is a positive another thing about
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getting married younger as opposed to getting married in your 30s is that by the time you're in
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your 30s often you are settled into your ways and it can be difficult to introduce a new person into your
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life and say hey we're gonna really build a life together and mold it as a team it can be difficult to
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welcome someone into your routines into your habits when you really have them ingrained for so long
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i think that when you get married younger it's easier to incorporate a new person into your life
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and build those routines together the lie that being a girl boss is worth more than having a family
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in those young fertile years that was my baby is a lie it's just a lie those years in your 20s
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are the years that are meant for meeting someone starting a family and building a life together and
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focusing on work over that and saying push off that stuff till you're older is just not as wise
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and it's not going to make you as attractive of a prospective dating partner and on a kind of different
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note here outside of the dating question right if we're actually talking about the physical
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attractiveness of a person when they are older i mean i agree with the concept that women are generally
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not always but generally more attractive when they're younger your body has more collagen your
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your body is more youthful if you've had children you're going to look different over time and i think
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that that's part of the conversation on twitter that has bothered me is a lot of women being like
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no no women are just as hot in their 30s as they are in their 20s and it's like if you've had kids
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and your body has gone through a lot of different changes and shifts you're probably not going to be
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as physically attractive as you were before you had kids it doesn't matter your husband will think
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you are more attractive for having given him children that is something i know to be true
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that men find it more attractive to have a wife that bore them children than to have a wife who
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doesn't want to have children but keeps her hot bod but it the conversation needs to be realistic
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that generally women in their 20s are going to be more attractive than older women like that just is
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not always but often okay so what's the caveat here what's the caveat regarding okay younger women
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are more attractive as a dating prospect and older women may not be as attractive as a dating partner
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well number one is when people talk about 20s versus 30s if they are talking online about this
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concept and they are coming from a place of truthfully trying to help and you're a 30 year old
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woman who has done her best or is now trying to date stop getting yourself involved in the conversation
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it's not about you it's not aimed at you it's aimed at those younger women that we're trying to guide to
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make better choices but you don't have to feel guilty or bad or targeted because it's not targeting
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you and i think it's important for you to say okay i know that i have the capability to make this about
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me i know i have bad feelings about this but i'm going to respectfully remove myself from this
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conversation because it's not about me and what i think is so important here is that love and marriage
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all happen in god's timing there are women who try their hardest to get married in their 20s really
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work hard to meet that right person make good life choices and still don't meet their right person
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until they're 37 and that's okay they were supposed to meet that person at that time that's what god
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planned for them and that's who they needed to be with and if they had gotten married to someone
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younger it wouldn't have been the right person and i think that there's a beauty in that there's a
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beauty in a woman who thinks she's going to get married young but finding the right person when she
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is in her 30s because god has a plan for all of us on top of that every woman is unique and every
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woman can look different or better at different ages in her life i mean there are some women who really
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do look better at 35 than they did at 23. it just kind of depends on your genetics and i think that
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there are unique circumstances where women do look more attractive as they get older so that's
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something to keep in mind too it's all for a given case right a man who falls in love with a 35 year
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old woman he thinks she is most beautiful then at that time if he had met her at 23 he would probably
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also think she was beautiful but it wasn't the right time for them the right time for them is
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when she's older and he thinks she is stunning just the way she is that's why they're getting married
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then so those are the caveats to yes 20s are generally more attractive for a lot of reasons
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and your 30s are maybe a little less attractive so what's the takeaway here number one is don't waste
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your time trying to be a girl boss in your 20s and putting off marriage and children till your 30s
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that's the real takeaway if you're in your 20s use that time you're to your advantage use this time
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to attract a partner find someone you can live your life with have a beautiful family with and
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invest in that relationship that's going to mean so much in your life don't take the modern narrative
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that you can wait until you're 30 your 20s are about building up your career because i'm gonna tell
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you a little secret and it's called you're gonna have a baby and there is a really good chance you're
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gonna want to just leave your career behind completely i know that for a lot of my friends
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that was the case so your 20s is not so much about being a girl boss your 20s can be about developing
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yourself while looking for that right person don't get taken in by the idea that oh it's 30 flirty and
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thriving that's when the dating happens no the dating happens in your 20s the 30s are for having
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children raising children making your family grow okay like that's what i think and obviously you can have
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kids in your 20s too i mean i had kids when i was 28 but being older isn't a bad thing and it's not
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going to discount you from meeting a spouse there are wonderful things about being in your 30s especially
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when we discount vanity altogether because vanity really isn't important you don't have to be as
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hot at 35 as you were at 22 i know i'm not as hot at 30 that i was at 21 you know i've had babies i'm
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just i just look different now and that is absolutely okay but there are things about me
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about my personality that i think are more attractive i know what i want i know what i
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believe i'm more confident and that's all wonderful that's all awesome about being a woman in my 30s
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so if you are a woman in your 30s don't feel bad about where you're at if you are trying to meet
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someone or if you have tried to meet someone the fact that you are in your 30s does not make you
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undateable my husband and i were talking about this and he had a very good turn of phrase and he
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said people have a consumerist vision of their 20s like just use it consume it this is the time
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that's fun it doesn't matter what you do everything is fleeting that's your 20s and then they have an
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investment mindset in their 30s but really the investment needs to start in your 20s for the
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investments to pay off in your 30s if you wait until your 30s to start making those bigger life
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choices bigger life plans it may not play out the way that you want it the truth is that the
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concern about age and hotness is so much less important when you're married because there's
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so many different parts of being attracted to your partner and vanity and looks are just a small
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subset of it like yes of course you are attracted to your partner physically but there's a lot to
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being attracted to your partner that doesn't have to do with that it has to do with them doing nice
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things for you or spending time together and making them laugh or taking care of the kids or
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burying someone children like that attractive conversation has a lot more depth when you're
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married when you're dating initially for sure attractiveness is flattened and a lot of it is
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about what you look like and so that's why the conversation is being had i think at the end of the
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day just don't make choices that are going to set you back but if you've made choices that are good
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then understand that it just hasn't worked out there's a difference and i think it's important
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to understand that so that is my view on the whole debate on women in their 30s i want to hear your
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thoughts in the comments down below what do you think do you think that this conversation can be had
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realistically that there is some level of attractiveness that is more potent in your 20s
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than your 30s but that doesn't mean that a woman in her 30s is undateable and that there's a lot of
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elements to this conversation i want to hear your thoughts in the comments down below so make sure
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to leave something there and i would love if you've watched all the way to the end this is
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