Clavicular - December 30, 2025


Why My Summer Tan Never Fades (DO THIS)


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

178.28099

Word Count

1,900

Sentence Count

3

Misogynist Sentences

1

Hate Speech Sentences

14


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 hey what's going on fellas so i just wanted to make a little bit of a video with a microphone
00:00:04.840 of course professional youtuber here by the way on how i've managed to maintain my tan because
00:00:10.320 i've made a lot of uh tiktoks kind of mocking people for being pale uh because you don't want
00:00:15.520 to be pale in the winter in a fucking sea of pale normies i find being pale to be the ultimate evil
00:00:22.460 and quite repulsive even so with that being said how the fuck am i so tan how the fuck do i look
00:00:29.240 so good clavicular why do you look so good right now i'm not going to be a little bitch and gatekeep
00:00:35.020 it i'm going to tell you exactly how i've done this so i'm obviously wearing fake tanner this is not
00:00:41.160 you know a tan gotten from fucking harmful uv rays causing skin cancer this is a simple product that
00:00:48.460 i apply to my face every single night i'm going to give you more specifics on how to tan properly
00:00:54.520 right because there's a lot of copes about tan uh a lot of people go to tanning beds which are
00:00:59.900 horrible for you uh people tan in the sun could you even imagine the level of stupidity to expose
00:01:06.460 yourself to harmful uv rays i can't even imagine but that is why i'm here i'm here to tell you guys
00:01:13.220 the right way to do things so let's get into it this is the fake tanner right here bondi sands
00:01:21.960 so this stuff is the ultimate good uh so all i do and all i have been doing for about the past three
00:01:29.200 weeks is i will take the bondi sands and after i do my my pm skincare routine right because obviously
00:01:37.620 i'm on accutane so my skin gets incredibly dry so what i do is i'll i'll do my skincare routine i'll
00:01:45.200 wash my face and after i put on my moisturizer um and you know and my shower is all done with
00:01:51.580 i'll come in here and i'll only take one pump of the bondi sands and i'll use one of these mitts to
00:01:58.520 apply it all over my face so going in circular motions that way the tan is extremely even now the
00:02:06.680 reason that i do it every single night and i leave it on overnight even though the cope label says only do
00:02:12.460 for maximum of three hours uh is purely due to efficiency right so if you have to time out three
00:02:19.360 hours throughout the day you're sitting in a fake tan for you know obviously three hours which is like
00:02:25.380 a comical waste of time when you could just sleep in it daily and use the one pump which is a smaller
00:02:31.460 amount of application than most people normally do and maintain the same level of tan now the reason
00:02:38.140 that i mentioned that i leave it on every night after i do the moisturizer is it's not going to
00:02:42.680 apply as strongly if you're only using um you know one if you're only using it after you've
00:02:49.340 moisturized your face because you're not directly you know having it embed into your skin it's kind of
00:02:55.020 being infused with the moisturizer so it's not going to be as strong uh so this is just all about
00:03:00.840 efficiency right uh because again i can't be fucked to sit in a fake tanner for three hours i mean god
00:03:06.640 damn it um especially considering every time you wash your face with skincare products it's stripping
00:03:12.920 away most of the tan so the tan needs to be applied almost every day if you're someone that shaves
00:03:19.140 daily and washes your skin daily right so obviously someone who is you know combating acne those are two
00:03:26.100 things that i you know maintain to do and if you're not shaving daily then it's probably over for you
00:03:32.280 because facial hair is the biggest indicator of being a subhuman right no women like that at all
00:03:39.340 so that is the first step to my tanning routine now the second step is a fun little peptide because
00:03:47.920 it wouldn't be a clavicular video without me recommending you inject yourself with drugs right
00:03:53.620 so peptides being the ultimate good uh i am using 50 micrograms not fucking 50 milligrams don't fucking
00:04:02.220 kill yourself 50 micrograms of melanotan 2 daily so that is a enough of a dose that way i'm me i'm uh
00:04:11.780 you know maintaining my skin from the summer that little bit of tan that seeps through your sunscreen
00:04:17.100 or if you forget it whatever so i'm maintaining it with that 50 micrograms of melanotan 2 per day
00:04:23.560 which is a substantial dose uh in the future i might lower that but that's just been working for
00:04:28.560 me the reason i wear this white shirt is for you guys to get a reference on how well my tanning
00:04:34.020 regimen works right so this is obviously you know pure white and this is my skin and my skin is looking
00:04:40.900 very mauger right now with this tan coloring as you can see the bondi sands is probably the best
00:04:46.460 tanner i've used because it applies extremely evenly i have no weird splotches and you know discolor
00:04:53.440 in my skin so that's why i recommend this product wholeheartedly i have tried many cope fake tans
00:05:00.840 tanning drops uh and the reason that i am sticking with bondi sands is that you know extremely extremely
00:05:09.260 even tonality as well as the fact that it's non-comedogenic so what that means is it's not
00:05:15.600 going to clog your pores like most fake tanners so i looked through all the ingredients and i did my
00:05:21.440 research on whether they were pore clogging and they're not so you could also read lots of anecdotes
00:05:27.300 on reddit no one's gotten acne from this stuff ever that i've seen so you are able to use this
00:05:33.060 kind of and tanning also conceals your acne uh so when you're more tan people aren't really going to
00:05:38.720 notice your skin phallos as much because if you're pale and you've got red that's a lot of contrast but
00:05:45.640 if you're a little bit more on the orange side of being tan it's less noticeable for you to have
00:05:51.180 you know those red acne spots not that i really have acne anymore but in my mind i still do because
00:05:58.040 i have severe ddd as you can tell from all this uh looks maxing stuff right so that's kind of what
00:06:05.340 i've been doing for the first two parts now the last part i want you to stay with me here extremely
00:06:11.060 important now before you guys comment how gay this is just just hear me out uh so you want to use a
00:06:19.820 tinted moisturizer right so a tinted moisturizer i actually did a lot of research on this with chat
00:06:26.760 gpt i said hey chat gpt how could i have uh you know the the coloring the warm you know reddish tan
00:06:34.200 coloring as david gandy who i pray to every night of course how could i look like gandy chat gpt and
00:06:42.560 chat gpt says well you could put on tinted moisturizer with a specific tint that's going to make you look
00:06:48.920 like david gandy and on top of looking like david gandy now you're going to have a more even skin tone
00:06:55.260 now i forgot to apply the david gandy uh elixir today which is why my skin probably isn't the greatest
00:07:03.160 complexion ever but before you go out using the david grin i'm going to call it the david gandy
00:07:08.900 elixir but in reality it's just tinted moisturizer i want you i'm not going to recommend the exact one
00:07:15.760 that i use because everyone's skin tone is different so i don't want people to say oh i clavicular i bought
00:07:21.400 the gandy elixir that you recommended and now i just look like a homosexual i'm not going to have that
00:07:28.040 i'm going to have you find your own david gandy elixir use chat gpt say the coloring that you want
00:07:34.780 to go for obviously if you're you know someone who's not white you're going to want to say hey
00:07:41.040 i want the uh you know i want the the arian elixir say say chat gpt give me the arian elixir and
00:07:49.360 and chat gpt is going to help you with that one not clavicular so that's what i recommend you do
00:07:54.960 use the full tinted moisturizer daily but don't forget to blend it into your neck because you're
00:08:01.320 going to look giga aspie and giga obvious if you're wearing that tinted moisturizer on your face
00:08:07.440 and your neck is covered in razor bumps people are going to be like wait a second i know your secret
00:08:13.600 i understand it now you're a homosexual and you're going to have to say well not exactly i'm actually
00:08:20.340 lux max there now you're even more fucked so use that tinted moisturizer properly just mix a little
00:08:28.300 bit in with your sunscreen in the morning put it all over your face and make sure it's applied evenly
00:08:33.820 so it's not over for you right so those are the tips on how i've managed to get this six psl tan
00:08:41.180 and practically ascend to chad to your looks right now i'm actually not at six psl yet i'm only at 5.5
00:08:50.880 or 5.75 depending on how narcy narcy that i'm feeling today um so you know that's taken with a grain
00:09:00.460 of salt in terms of my looks but if you're pale that is a indicator of bad health and you just look
00:09:07.820 like a piece of shit and ugly i've gotten so many iois and compliments on how good i look recently
00:09:15.140 and that used to happen a fair bit but not as much as since i started doing the fake tan i'm sure lean
00:09:21.840 maxing on manjaro has contributed to that a lot considering that i've lost about 15 pounds since my
00:09:28.200 start of the cut uh so i'm sure it's the lean a little bit which is why people are complimenting me
00:09:33.420 but i would speculate that the fake tan plays a big part because i have naturally red mogger skin
00:09:39.360 so when i add the tan on top of that i've got that super good looking reddish tan glow that people like
00:09:47.000 tom stridge have when tom stridge gets tan and he's got the reddish tan skin he looks like an absolute
00:09:53.780 phenom in mogger so that's why i am tan maxing and that's how i maintained it hopefully you learned
00:10:02.000 something from the super schizo autistic rant uh and with that being said buy the bondy sands uh you
00:10:09.940 know self tanning foam and make sure you put it on every single night after you've done your
00:10:15.260 moisturizer uh with that being said i hope you uh tag me on tiktok with your results uh you know or send
00:10:22.640 it to me on instagram on clavicular and you know i'll reply and be like damn dude you look like a mogger
00:10:28.240 um so i appreciate you guys tuning in and watching this video and give me a comment and if you have
00:10:34.700 any questions i'll try to reply to as many as possible boom
00:10:38.940 you