Clavicular - December 30, 2025


Why My Summer Tan Never Fades (DO THIS)

Topics
fake tanning routine
Hosted by
Braden Eric Peters
Mentioned
David Gandy
How To Dihmax Fast and Naturally At Home How To Leanmax So Fast it Feels ILLEGAL

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

178.28

Word count

1,900

Sentence count

3

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Toxicity

26

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about how I maintain my tan in the winter, and how to keep it in check so you can avoid skin cancer. I also talk about the best tanner I've ever used and why you should be using it too.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 hey what's going on fellas so i just wanted to make a little bit of a video with a microphone
00:00:04.840 of course professional youtuber here by the way on how i've managed to maintain my tan because
00:00:10.320 i've made a lot of uh tiktoks kind of mocking people for being pale uh because you don't want 0.95
00:00:15.520 to be pale in the winter in a fucking sea of pale normies i find being pale to be the ultimate evil 0.99
00:00:22.460 and quite repulsive even so with that being said how the fuck am i so tan how the fuck do i look 1.00
00:00:29.240 so good clavicular why do you look so good right now i'm not going to be a little bitch and gatekeep 1.00
00:00:35.020 it i'm going to tell you exactly how i've done this so i'm obviously wearing fake tanner this is not 0.91
00:00:41.160 you know a tan gotten from fucking harmful uv rays causing skin cancer this is a simple product that
00:00:48.460 i apply to my face every single night i'm going to give you more specifics on how to tan properly 0.96
00:00:54.520 right because there's a lot of copes about tan uh a lot of people go to tanning beds which are 0.99
00:00:59.900 horrible for you uh people tan in the sun could you even imagine the level of stupidity to expose 0.97
00:01:06.460 yourself to harmful uv rays i can't even imagine but that is why i'm here i'm here to tell you guys 0.98
00:01:13.220 the right way to do things so let's get into it this is the fake tanner right here bondi sands
00:01:21.960 so this stuff is the ultimate good uh so all i do and all i have been doing for about the past three
00:01:29.200 weeks is i will take the bondi sands and after i do my my pm skincare routine right because obviously
00:01:37.620 i'm on accutane so my skin gets incredibly dry so what i do is i'll i'll do my skincare routine i'll
00:01:45.200 wash my face and after i put on my moisturizer um and you know and my shower is all done with
00:01:51.580 i'll come in here and i'll only take one pump of the bondi sands and i'll use one of these mitts to
00:01:58.520 apply it all over my face so going in circular motions that way the tan is extremely even now the
00:02:06.680 reason that i do it every single night and i leave it on overnight even though the cope label says only do
00:02:12.460 for maximum of three hours uh is purely due to efficiency right so if you have to time out three
00:02:19.360 hours throughout the day you're sitting in a fake tan for you know obviously three hours which is like
00:02:25.380 a comical waste of time when you could just sleep in it daily and use the one pump which is a smaller
00:02:31.460 amount of application than most people normally do and maintain the same level of tan now the reason
00:02:38.140 that i mentioned that i leave it on every night after i do the moisturizer is it's not going to
00:02:42.680 apply as strongly if you're only using um you know one if you're only using it after you've
00:02:49.340 moisturized your face because you're not directly you know having it embed into your skin it's kind of
00:02:55.020 being infused with the moisturizer so it's not going to be as strong uh so this is just all about 0.98
00:03:00.840 efficiency right uh because again i can't be fucked to sit in a fake tanner for three hours i mean god 0.99
00:03:06.640 damn it um especially considering every time you wash your face with skincare products it's stripping 0.99
00:03:12.920 away most of the tan so the tan needs to be applied almost every day if you're someone that shaves 0.99
00:03:19.140 daily and washes your skin daily right so obviously someone who is you know combating acne those are two
00:03:26.100 things that i you know maintain to do and if you're not shaving daily then it's probably over for you
00:03:32.280 because facial hair is the biggest indicator of being a subhuman right no women like that at all 1.00
00:03:39.340 so that is the first step to my tanning routine now the second step is a fun little peptide because
00:03:47.920 it wouldn't be a clavicular video without me recommending you inject yourself with drugs right 0.99
00:03:53.620 so peptides being the ultimate good uh i am using 50 micrograms not fucking 50 milligrams don't fucking 0.99
00:04:02.220 kill yourself 50 micrograms of melanotan 2 daily so that is a enough of a dose that way i'm me i'm uh 0.92
00:04:11.780 you know maintaining my skin from the summer that little bit of tan that seeps through your sunscreen 0.91
00:04:17.100 or if you forget it whatever so i'm maintaining it with that 50 micrograms of melanotan 2 per day
00:04:23.560 which is a substantial dose uh in the future i might lower that but that's just been working for
00:04:28.560 me the reason i wear this white shirt is for you guys to get a reference on how well my tanning
00:04:34.020 regimen works right so this is obviously you know pure white and this is my skin and my skin is looking
00:04:40.900 very mauger right now with this tan coloring as you can see the bondi sands is probably the best
00:04:46.460 tanner i've used because it applies extremely evenly i have no weird splotches and you know discolor
00:04:53.440 in my skin so that's why i recommend this product wholeheartedly i have tried many cope fake tans
00:05:00.840 tanning drops uh and the reason that i am sticking with bondi sands is that you know extremely extremely
00:05:09.260 even tonality as well as the fact that it's non-comedogenic so what that means is it's not
00:05:15.600 going to clog your pores like most fake tanners so i looked through all the ingredients and i did my
00:05:21.440 research on whether they were pore clogging and they're not so you could also read lots of anecdotes
00:05:27.300 on reddit no one's gotten acne from this stuff ever that i've seen so you are able to use this
00:05:33.060 kind of and tanning also conceals your acne uh so when you're more tan people aren't really going to
00:05:38.720 notice your skin phallos as much because if you're pale and you've got red that's a lot of contrast but
00:05:45.640 if you're a little bit more on the orange side of being tan it's less noticeable for you to have
00:05:51.180 you know those red acne spots not that i really have acne anymore but in my mind i still do because
00:05:58.040 i have severe ddd as you can tell from all this uh looks maxing stuff right so that's kind of what
00:06:05.340 i've been doing for the first two parts now the last part i want you to stay with me here extremely
00:06:11.060 important now before you guys comment how gay this is just just hear me out uh so you want to use a
00:06:19.820 tinted moisturizer right so a tinted moisturizer i actually did a lot of research on this with chat
00:06:26.760 gpt i said hey chat gpt how could i have uh you know the the coloring the warm you know reddish tan
00:06:34.200 coloring as david gandy who i pray to every night of course how could i look like gandy chat gpt and
00:06:42.560 chat gpt says well you could put on tinted moisturizer with a specific tint that's going to make you look
00:06:48.920 like david gandy and on top of looking like david gandy now you're going to have a more even skin tone
00:06:55.260 now i forgot to apply the david gandy uh elixir today which is why my skin probably isn't the greatest
00:07:03.160 complexion ever but before you go out using the david grin i'm going to call it the david gandy
00:07:08.900 elixir but in reality it's just tinted moisturizer i want you i'm not going to recommend the exact one
00:07:15.760 that i use because everyone's skin tone is different so i don't want people to say oh i clavicular i bought
00:07:21.400 the gandy elixir that you recommended and now i just look like a homosexual i'm not going to have that 1.00
00:07:28.040 i'm going to have you find your own david gandy elixir use chat gpt say the coloring that you want
00:07:34.780 to go for obviously if you're you know someone who's not white you're going to want to say hey
00:07:41.040 i want the uh you know i want the the arian elixir say say chat gpt give me the arian elixir and
00:07:49.360 and chat gpt is going to help you with that one not clavicular so that's what i recommend you do
00:07:54.960 use the full tinted moisturizer daily but don't forget to blend it into your neck because you're
00:08:01.320 going to look giga aspie and giga obvious if you're wearing that tinted moisturizer on your face
00:08:07.440 and your neck is covered in razor bumps people are going to be like wait a second i know your secret 0.99
00:08:13.600 i understand it now you're a homosexual and you're going to have to say well not exactly i'm actually 1.00
00:08:20.340 lux max there now you're even more fucked so use that tinted moisturizer properly just mix a little 1.00
00:08:28.300 bit in with your sunscreen in the morning put it all over your face and make sure it's applied evenly 0.97
00:08:33.820 so it's not over for you right so those are the tips on how i've managed to get this six psl tan
00:08:41.180 and practically ascend to chad to your looks right now i'm actually not at six psl yet i'm only at 5.5
00:08:50.880 or 5.75 depending on how narcy narcy that i'm feeling today um so you know that's taken with a grain
00:09:00.460 of salt in terms of my looks but if you're pale that is a indicator of bad health and you just look 0.99
00:09:07.820 like a piece of shit and ugly i've gotten so many iois and compliments on how good i look recently 0.99
00:09:15.140 and that used to happen a fair bit but not as much as since i started doing the fake tan i'm sure lean 0.99
00:09:21.840 maxing on manjaro has contributed to that a lot considering that i've lost about 15 pounds since my
00:09:28.200 start of the cut uh so i'm sure it's the lean a little bit which is why people are complimenting me
00:09:33.420 but i would speculate that the fake tan plays a big part because i have naturally red mogger skin
00:09:39.360 so when i add the tan on top of that i've got that super good looking reddish tan glow that people like
00:09:47.000 tom stridge have when tom stridge gets tan and he's got the reddish tan skin he looks like an absolute
00:09:53.780 phenom in mogger so that's why i am tan maxing and that's how i maintained it hopefully you learned
00:10:02.000 something from the super schizo autistic rant uh and with that being said buy the bondy sands uh you 0.57
00:10:09.940 know self tanning foam and make sure you put it on every single night after you've done your
00:10:15.260 moisturizer uh with that being said i hope you uh tag me on tiktok with your results uh you know or send 0.98
00:10:22.640 it to me on instagram on clavicular and you know i'll reply and be like damn dude you look like a mogger 0.82
00:10:28.240 um so i appreciate you guys tuning in and watching this video and give me a comment and if you have 0.82
00:10:34.700 any questions i'll try to reply to as many as possible boom
00:10:38.940 you