00:15:32.780She wants a man who can demonstrate his love for her by leading the home in a variety of ways, in holiness, in Christ-likeness, in order, in vision, in political views, in finances, in education, in legacy, and of course, in affection and showing love relationally.
00:15:56.760Every time a husband fails to lead in necessary areas, a wife assumes that duty.0.63
00:16:06.020And I always say this, in our culture, Satan's plan is that men will be boys, that women0.96
00:16:14.320will be men, and as a result, children will be unwanted.
00:16:20.860That is exactly what we're seeing today, a perversion of divine order.0.80
00:16:26.760When this happens, and a wife is forced to lead, she's going to grow in resentment and bitterness1.00
00:16:33.560because she's pushed to operate in a way that she's not designed to.0.83
00:16:37.300And she loses respect for her husband because the order of the home is misprioritized,
00:16:43.480and the home starts to degenerate in respect and glory.
00:16:50.020I recently saw a quote on social media that said, quote,
00:16:54.320why women want male superiority, not equality. Marriage is a hierarchy, and the man must lead.
00:17:05.160If he doesn't, the woman will, and she'll resent him for it, because he'll be following her like0.90
00:17:10.800a little boy follows his mother. In the end, she'll come to see him as her dependent, rather
00:17:17.520than her champion that she truly desires he'll activate her maternal instinct rather than her
00:17:24.800sexual instinct and the burden of having to make decisions will masculinize her mindset stress and0.82
00:17:31.920anxiety anxiety will dampen her sex drive she will dream of a man who can lead her and it won't be0.93
00:17:38.160about her husband. I can't tell you how many affairs have started because husbands and
00:17:47.500wives have flip-flopped positions. You think that not leading has no consequences? The
00:17:59.660number of men driven to adultery because of an insubordinate wife, you couldn't count
00:18:04.700the number. The number of women driven to adultery because of limp-wristed passive husbands,
00:18:11.300you can't count the number. It's everywhere.
00:18:18.380Walking out your biblical role is not just a positive support. It actually guards against
00:18:24.760temptation. Men are made to lead. It's in our very being. Look at us. We're taller. We're
00:18:31.740stronger, we're wider, we're designed for dominion, leadership. Look at women. They're designed as the1.00
00:18:37.100weaker vessel to help, to support, to be beautiful, to organize, to glorify. When you flip-flop that
00:18:43.660reality, you get chaos, you get temptation, you get frustration, you get bitterness, you get
00:18:50.000resentment, and you get broken marriages. If you want to see glorious covenant households,
00:18:56.420take responsibility for your home put order in place walk out into your0.60
00:19:06.980office and say Lord I'm sorry for the state of my home I will take
00:19:14.360responsibility and bring back order to this place now I do want to be clear
00:19:21.980there's nothing wrong with a man helping her helping his wife you're going to do
00:19:28.000this because you love your wife there's nothing wrong with taking the kids when
00:19:33.280she needs a break there's nothing wrong with picking up the house to help her to
00:19:38.580do the dishes whatever it may be there's nothing wrong with those realities
00:19:41.100what's wrong is when serving your wife compromises your ability to lead when
00:19:48.220when serving her so much becomes the priority that you actually abdicate your
00:19:55.300role as leading the family okay your job as a husband is not to save your wife
00:20:01.720from the natural hardship of womanhood or motherhood when a wife and mother is
00:20:07.420tired at the end of a day you need a reminder that she's not tired because
00:20:13.240she did something wrong she's tired because she did something right
00:20:18.220You're not trying to save her from the reality of what it means to be a
00:20:24.500glorious woman. You're trying to assist when things overwhelm her. You're trying
00:20:33.940to shepherd her so that those hardships are seen in the light of sanctification
00:20:40.100and holiness to encourage her to show her that if she breaks you won't and the
00:20:50.820next verse Paul tells us why Jesus served by leading look down to verse 26
00:21:00.320it says that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by
00:21:04.580word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having
00:21:11.720spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without
00:21:18.380blemish okay so first I want you to note the exclusive nature of Christ's
00:21:23.480sacrifice and the bride's benefit this is not for anyone else this is for the
00:21:29.580bride. Your love is to be prioritized to your wife. The focus of Christ's work was God's glory
00:21:37.020and his wife's holiness, which I think really simplifies the priorities for men. What is your
00:21:43.280role in this world? Well, it's as a married man, it's to glorify God. And a great way to glorify
00:21:50.400god is to lead your wife second husbands should model christ's willingness to do whatever it0.83
00:22:00.320takes to secure the holiness of his bride your wife's holiness is a priority in a man's life
00:22:08.160demonstrating love honestly it can be inconvenient it's difficult it's frustrating for men at times
00:22:15.280because love is costly it's expensive but the cost should never prohibit you
00:22:25.480from displaying love for your wife cost is what assigns value to love if the
00:22:38.020love costs little then it conveys less value if the love cost is substantial then it conveys
00:22:46.660extraordinary value it's what makes christ's love so valuable is the cost that he was willing to pay
00:22:53.220for it it's extraordinary in the same way husbands are to communicate their love in both ordinary
00:22:59.940extraordinary means Paul says that the result of that kind of love will be a
00:23:07.180glorious bride not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she
00:23:13.200would be holy and without blemish so over the years I want you to think
00:23:19.120about this first over the years under your headship under your leadership has
00:23:24.700your wife become increasingly lovely and holy Richard Baxter once wrote a
00:23:34.200husband will either make a good wife or endure a bad one I want you to look at
00:23:42.440your life have you add under your leadership made a good wife led her and
00:23:51.660shepherded her towards Christ has she become more holy and more lovely under
00:23:58.800your care is her love for Christ greater under your headship is her conviction of
00:24:04.740sin greater under your leadership is she more glorious of a woman under your
00:24:11.900leadership is she free of worry and fear and anger under your leadership if you
00:24:18.120look back to your wedding day and you look to now, is your wife more holy and more lovely or is she
00:24:24.560more bitter and more angry? That is a clear picture of your status as a husband. If your wife has
00:24:34.400divorced you, if she has left you, these are moments to realize in the mirror, I'm going to
00:24:42.960take responsibility for that. I'm not guilty of her sin. I'm not guilty of her adultery. I'm not
00:24:49.620guilty of what she said, but I'm going to take responsibility for the fact that under my
00:24:54.020leadership, my wife left. Hard words. That's the heart of this passage. In the same way that Christ
00:25:07.860will present to himself a glorious church that is a church who reflects her
00:25:14.160divine purpose and being to be holy a husband is to present his wife a
00:25:18.460glorious woman a reflection of her divine and designed being verse 28 to
00:25:29.88031 follow along with me in the same way husbands should love their wives as
00:25:34.680their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one has ever hated his own
00:25:39.240flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are
00:25:43.840members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast
00:25:48.720to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So the passage to men here in Ephesians
00:25:56.500five really gives two ways to express a husband's love to their wives first it's being a sacrificial
00:26:05.940leader and second it is loving your wife as your own body okay paul is not calling if you look down
00:26:15.620to the text paul's not calling for a shift in perspective he's not saying love your wives as
00:26:21.860if they are your body he's saying love your wives because they are your body they are your body
00:34:12.180Father, we thank you, Lord, that you have given us your word.
00:34:21.080Lord, we pray that by your spirit and by your word that you would raise up a generation of men that are better than the previous generation of men.
00:34:29.860Lord, that has left this country and this culture in a state of disorder and chaos.
00:34:35.800Lord, we ask and we take responsibility as the men in this generation that we would not leave that same legacy.
00:34:42.180Father, we pray that you would raise up conviction of sin and righteousness, that you would help