In this episode, we continue our series on the covenant home by focusing on the role of men in the home. In Ephesians 5:25, we see how a husband is the representative before God of his family. He is not only responsible for the state of his home, but also for the sins of his wife and children.
00:15:32.780She wants a man who can demonstrate his love for her by leading the home in a variety of ways, in holiness, in Christ-likeness, in order, in vision, in political views, in finances, in education, in legacy, and of course, in affection and showing love relationally.
00:15:56.760Every time a husband fails to lead in necessary areas, a wife assumes that duty.0.63
00:16:06.020And I always say this, in our culture, Satan's plan is that men will be boys, that women0.96
00:16:14.320will be men, and as a result, children will be unwanted.
00:16:20.860That is exactly what we're seeing today, a perversion of divine order.0.80
00:16:26.760When this happens, and a wife is forced to lead, she's going to grow in resentment and bitterness1.00
00:16:33.560because she's pushed to operate in a way that she's not designed to.0.83
00:16:37.300And she loses respect for her husband because the order of the home is misprioritized,
00:16:43.480and the home starts to degenerate in respect and glory.
00:16:50.020I recently saw a quote on social media that said, quote,
00:16:54.320why women want male superiority, not equality. Marriage is a hierarchy, and the man must lead.
00:17:05.160If he doesn't, the woman will, and she'll resent him for it, because he'll be following her like0.90
00:17:10.800a little boy follows his mother. In the end, she'll come to see him as her dependent, rather
00:17:17.520than her champion that she truly desires he'll activate her maternal instinct rather than her
00:17:24.800sexual instinct and the burden of having to make decisions will masculinize her mindset stress and0.82
00:17:31.920anxiety anxiety will dampen her sex drive she will dream of a man who can lead her and it won't be0.93
00:17:38.160about her husband. I can't tell you how many affairs have started because husbands and
00:17:47.500wives have flip-flopped positions. You think that not leading has no consequences? The
00:17:59.660number of men driven to adultery because of an insubordinate wife, you couldn't count
00:18:04.700the number. The number of women driven to adultery because of limp-wristed passive husbands,
00:18:11.300you can't count the number. It's everywhere.
00:18:18.380Walking out your biblical role is not just a positive support. It actually guards against
00:18:24.760temptation. Men are made to lead. It's in our very being. Look at us. We're taller. We're
00:18:31.740stronger, we're wider, we're designed for dominion, leadership. Look at women. They're designed as the1.00
00:18:37.100weaker vessel to help, to support, to be beautiful, to organize, to glorify. When you flip-flop that
00:18:43.660reality, you get chaos, you get temptation, you get frustration, you get bitterness, you get
00:18:50.000resentment, and you get broken marriages. If you want to see glorious covenant households,
00:18:56.420take responsibility for your home put order in place walk out into your0.60
00:19:06.980office and say Lord I'm sorry for the state of my home I will take
00:19:14.360responsibility and bring back order to this place now I do want to be clear
00:19:21.980there's nothing wrong with a man helping her helping his wife you're going to do
00:19:28.000this because you love your wife there's nothing wrong with taking the kids when
00:19:33.280she needs a break there's nothing wrong with picking up the house to help her to
00:19:38.580do the dishes whatever it may be there's nothing wrong with those realities
00:19:41.100what's wrong is when serving your wife compromises your ability to lead when
00:19:48.220when serving her so much becomes the priority that you actually abdicate your
00:19:55.300role as leading the family okay your job as a husband is not to save your wife
00:20:01.720from the natural hardship of womanhood or motherhood when a wife and mother is
00:20:07.420tired at the end of a day you need a reminder that she's not tired because
00:20:13.240she did something wrong she's tired because she did something right
00:20:18.220You're not trying to save her from the reality of what it means to be a
00:20:24.500glorious woman. You're trying to assist when things overwhelm her. You're trying
00:20:33.940to shepherd her so that those hardships are seen in the light of sanctification
00:20:40.100and holiness to encourage her to show her that if she breaks you won't and the
00:20:50.820next verse Paul tells us why Jesus served by leading look down to verse 26
00:21:00.320it says that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by
00:21:04.580word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having
00:21:11.720spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without
00:21:18.380blemish okay so first I want you to note the exclusive nature of Christ's
00:21:23.480sacrifice and the bride's benefit this is not for anyone else this is for the
00:21:29.580bride. Your love is to be prioritized to your wife. The focus of Christ's work was God's glory
00:21:37.020and his wife's holiness, which I think really simplifies the priorities for men. What is your
00:21:43.280role in this world? Well, it's as a married man, it's to glorify God. And a great way to glorify
00:21:50.400god is to lead your wife second husbands should model christ's willingness to do whatever it0.83
00:22:00.320takes to secure the holiness of his bride your wife's holiness is a priority in a man's life
00:22:08.160demonstrating love honestly it can be inconvenient it's difficult it's frustrating for men at times
00:22:15.280because love is costly it's expensive but the cost should never prohibit you
00:22:25.480from displaying love for your wife cost is what assigns value to love if the
00:22:38.020love costs little then it conveys less value if the love cost is substantial then it conveys
00:22:46.660extraordinary value it's what makes christ's love so valuable is the cost that he was willing to pay
00:22:53.220for it it's extraordinary in the same way husbands are to communicate their love in both ordinary
00:22:59.940extraordinary means Paul says that the result of that kind of love will be a
00:23:07.180glorious bride not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she
00:23:13.200would be holy and without blemish so over the years I want you to think
00:23:19.120about this first over the years under your headship under your leadership has
00:23:24.700your wife become increasingly lovely and holy Richard Baxter once wrote a
00:23:34.200husband will either make a good wife or endure a bad one I want you to look at
00:23:42.440your life have you add under your leadership made a good wife led her and
00:23:51.660shepherded her towards Christ has she become more holy and more lovely under
00:23:58.800your care is her love for Christ greater under your headship is her conviction of
00:24:04.740sin greater under your leadership is she more glorious of a woman under your
00:24:11.900leadership is she free of worry and fear and anger under your leadership if you
00:24:18.120look back to your wedding day and you look to now, is your wife more holy and more lovely or is she
00:24:24.560more bitter and more angry? That is a clear picture of your status as a husband. If your wife has
00:24:34.400divorced you, if she has left you, these are moments to realize in the mirror, I'm going to
00:24:42.960take responsibility for that. I'm not guilty of her sin. I'm not guilty of her adultery. I'm not
00:24:49.620guilty of what she said, but I'm going to take responsibility for the fact that under my
00:24:54.020leadership, my wife left. Hard words. That's the heart of this passage. In the same way that Christ
00:25:07.860will present to himself a glorious church that is a church who reflects her
00:25:14.160divine purpose and being to be holy a husband is to present his wife a
00:25:18.460glorious woman a reflection of her divine and designed being verse 28 to
00:25:29.88031 follow along with me in the same way husbands should love their wives as
00:25:34.680their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one has ever hated his own
00:25:39.240flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are
00:25:43.840members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast
00:25:48.720to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So the passage to men here in Ephesians
00:25:56.500five really gives two ways to express a husband's love to their wives first it's being a sacrificial
00:26:05.940leader and second it is loving your wife as your own body okay paul is not calling if you look down
00:26:15.620to the text paul's not calling for a shift in perspective he's not saying love your wives as
00:26:21.860if they are your body he's saying love your wives because they are your body they are your body
00:34:12.180Father, we thank you, Lord, that you have given us your word.
00:34:21.080Lord, we pray that by your spirit and by your word that you would raise up a generation of men that are better than the previous generation of men.
00:34:29.860Lord, that has left this country and this culture in a state of disorder and chaos.
00:34:35.800Lord, we ask and we take responsibility as the men in this generation that we would not leave that same legacy.
00:34:42.180Father, we pray that you would raise up conviction of sin and righteousness, that you would help