Dale Partridge - September 30, 2020


Real Christianity #113： How to Prepare Yourself and Your Family for Church


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Length

25 minutes

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154.6954

Word count

3,914

Sentence count

264

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Hate speech

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Transcript

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Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Welcome to this episode of Real Christianity. My name is Dale Partridge, where each week I
00:00:12.600 offer 15 to 20-minute answers to tough theological and pastoral questions. This is a 100% listener
00:00:19.900 supported audio ministry of relearn.org. And for those who don't know, our mission at relearn.org
00:00:26.800 is to educate and equip ordinary Christians to plant biblical, confessional, and missional
00:00:32.700 house churches.
00:00:33.820 For more information, just visit relearn.org forward slash house.
00:00:39.380 So guys, the majority of Christians have likely never heard what I'm going to be sharing with
00:00:45.240 you today.
00:00:46.600 Everybody knows that the pastor needs to prepare for Sunday, but I assume many, if not most,
00:00:54.500 Christians have no idea what it means to prepare themselves and their family for church on Sunday. 0.98
00:01:02.180 In other words, most Christians just show up on Sunday. They might wear a nice outfit. They may 1.00
00:01:08.420 be on time. But are they prepared to fulfill their biblical role on Sunday morning? And an even
00:01:15.640 better question is, do they even know what their biblical role is? So we're going to be discussing
00:01:21.000 this and more. But before we begin, I just want to make one quick announcement. As you
00:01:27.040 guys know, we are getting close to closing out the 2020 year, and this year has been
00:01:32.300 such a wild year. I think everybody's ready for that. But our ministry has accomplished
00:01:37.020 so much this year, even in the midst of the cultural chaos, and it's been because of your
00:01:44.620 faithful support of our ministry. We launched a brand new website at relearn.org, and that
00:01:50.160 was a major project, by the way. We released a book on our biblical house church doctrines and
00:01:55.120 convictions. We launched the Stand in Victory program for breaking free from pornography. We
00:02:00.200 opened our church planting school at stjustins.org. We recorded 50 more podcasts, added another 50
00:02:09.140 articles to the website, hired a few part-time staff members, and more. We've done so much.
00:02:14.580 And this coming year, we have laid some massive ministry hopes before the Lord in prayer.
00:02:25.200 And our hope is to plant 50 new house churches in 2022.
00:02:31.720 So the work would be done next year in 2021.
00:02:36.400 We want to film a 90-minute house church documentary.
00:02:42.220 We want to release a new book and hire some more support staff.
00:02:47.240 And to be honest, without the help of the church, we just cannot do that.
00:02:52.000 We need your help.
00:02:54.120 We have 40,000 monthly listeners to this podcast.
00:02:58.640 And you might think that just somebody else is going to give and, you know, you don't
00:03:04.500 need to worry about it because someone else will make the donation. 0.95
00:03:07.040 But that's just not how Christians are called to view generosity.
00:03:10.140 This is an opportunity to plant biblical churches, to preach the gospel, and to strengthen thousands
00:03:16.240 of Christians in doctrine and theology.
00:03:18.660 This is kingdom building.
00:03:19.900 This is kingdom work.
00:03:21.180 And if we can get 1,000 people, that's 2.5% of our listening audience, to commit to $20
00:03:28.580 a month, just $20 a month, we would have the budget to accomplish those projects.
00:03:34.300 You know, so what I'm asking you is, would you just take just a minute to pray and ask the Lord
00:03:39.880 what he would have you do about that? Maybe it's nothing. Maybe you're already supporting
00:03:44.400 several ministries and you feel content and the Lord's convicting you to actually give more
00:03:49.840 to another ministry, to your local church, to another family that's in need. Maybe that's the
00:03:55.380 case. But maybe the Lord's asking you to give, you know, just a one-time gift to us in our ministry
00:04:01.880 or $10 a month or $50 a month,
00:04:05.280 my only request is that you would just take a minute
00:04:08.240 and ask the Lord if he has you to do anything about it.
00:04:12.440 And for those of you that are interested
00:04:13.680 in supporting our work here at relearn.org,
00:04:17.560 you can visit relearn.org forward slash donate.
00:04:21.580 It'll only take you 90 seconds to fill out the form,
00:04:25.840 set an automatic donation.
00:04:27.660 You can cancel it at any time.
00:04:29.380 Again, that's relearn.org forward slash donate.
00:04:33.240 It would be a huge blessing.
00:04:34.520 We promise that we will be faithful with those funds, use them well, be efficient with them,
00:04:39.400 and focus our main mission on Great Commission work.
00:04:43.700 All right.
00:04:44.640 On that note, today's question comes in from Molly.
00:04:49.120 She's from Danbury, Connecticut.
00:04:51.380 I've never been there.
00:04:52.700 And she asks the question, every Sunday I come to church and I sing the songs, I listen
00:04:57.420 to the sermon.
00:04:57.960 I say hello to a few friends and I leave. To be honest, it feels monotonous. Is church supposed
00:05:05.140 to be this way? Is this what God wanted? How can I prepare myself to get the most
00:05:11.520 out of my Sunday church gathering? Am I missing something? Okay, great question, Molly.
00:05:18.780 This is actually a very important question. And over the past hundred years or so,
00:05:26.800 churches have dramatically increased in size. And as a result, churches feel less like community
00:05:33.760 and more like an event. And I say this all the time in our ministry, but we plant house churches
00:05:43.040 not because we disagree with the traditional church ecclesiology or that we think that house
00:05:48.680 churches are right or better. That's not why we do that. No, we love the traditional church. Our
00:05:54.000 ministry plants house churches because we believe church is most fruitful when it's small. In other
00:06:01.520 words, I really do believe that size is the enemy of intimacy, and relational intimacy is generally,
00:06:10.080 not always, but generally one of the required ingredients for spiritual maturity, deep
00:06:18.340 fellowship and fruitfulness. And the size of a church will birth all types of unintentional
00:06:27.300 problems. And what I mean by that is when a church grows into a crowd, it generates a sense of
00:06:36.020 audience Christianity, and it gives birth to what I call a spectator mindset. And this is why so
00:06:43.760 many people don't feel convicted when they don't show up to church, right? They view themselves
00:06:49.000 as an inactive spectator of an event and not an active participant of a gathering of God's people.
00:06:56.900 You know, meaning they truly believe that their attendance or lack thereof
00:07:01.940 affects nobody but themselves. And in many cases, they're right. Now that's wrong thinking. We're
00:07:10.300 going to talk about that here in a minute. But what I'm trying to say, Molly, is that it sounds
00:07:14.320 like your mindset is a product of conveyor belt Christianity. It sounds like you're feeling 10
00:07:21.740 feet wide and one inch deep. You don't know why you don't like it, and you're looking for ways to
00:07:27.280 fix it, but you don't know where to begin. Now, you might not even realize how affected you are
00:07:33.780 by this either. I don't think a lot of us do. But at the end of your question, Molly, you made this
00:07:39.660 statement, how can I prepare myself to get the most out of my Sunday church gathering? Again,
00:07:47.840 this question is the product of classic American individualistic consumer thinking. We always want
00:07:57.060 to get the most out of something for our own benefit. And I'm guilty of this too, but this
00:08:02.640 is not a way to think biblically. Yes, the church has elements of consumption where we should
00:08:08.360 think about how to be effective in our time together. But the church gathering is not a
00:08:14.160 college class or a conference where we're trying to get our money's worth out of it, right?
00:08:19.880 Meaning the church is not a consumer activity where we're entertained or educated, right?
00:08:26.100 It's a contributor activity also where we're edified. But again, I understand how Christians
00:08:33.280 have come to this type of thinking. When you go to traditional church, even the contributing 0.94
00:08:41.300 feels like a job description more than organic, spirit-filled, participatory community.
00:08:49.420 And maybe at your church, you get to be a greeter or a parking lot attendant, or maybe you get to
00:08:55.540 serve in the children's ministry or be an usher or part of the security team. But let me remind you,
00:09:00.800 All of those roles have nothing to do with the Bible's design for church. 0.62
00:09:05.580 Those are simply products of a church that has grown too large. 0.90
00:09:10.580 And as a result, I'm not going to say grown too large.
00:09:13.700 I'm just going to say there are products of a church that has grown large.
00:09:17.660 And as a result, we start inventing ministry roles, like the parking lot pastor,
00:09:24.800 that look very similar to a business that puts on weekly events.
00:09:30.800 than we do a church of God's people seen in the scripture.
00:09:34.920 I'm not saying that these things are unbiblical, but they are extra biblical, okay?
00:09:41.240 But so are light bulbs and doorknobs, right?
00:09:43.320 So the light bulbs and doorknobs, you need those for church, and they're not in the Bible either.
00:09:48.480 But you get what I'm saying, is that those ideas of ushers and these, you know, children's ministry,
00:09:55.280 These are not biblical ideas in principle, maybe, but they are absolutely extra biblical
00:10:01.320 and throughout church history are extra biblical.
00:10:06.140 And I say all this because before I can offer some ways for you, Molly, and anybody who's
00:10:12.580 listening with this question, prepare yourself and your family for church.
00:10:17.000 I need you to see how deeply the American church structure has influenced the way we
00:10:25.020 view church. And once we're aware of this, we can look at a few biblical tips that we can use not
00:10:33.220 only as a way to make your local church experience more biblical, but also to make your experience
00:10:38.640 more fruitful. And so I have three simple points that I think will help any Christian have a more
00:10:48.020 fruitful church experience. And I'll be speaking to the individual Christian,
00:10:54.860 but if you have a family, you can apply these things, these biblical principles to your children
00:11:00.680 and to your family as a whole. So number one, I would say is this.
00:11:05.340 You got to start with being sober on Sunday. Number one is be sober on Sunday. And I'm not
00:11:11.420 talking about drinking alcohol or doing drugs. I'm talking about being spiritually sober on Sunday.
00:11:17.200 Sunday is just not any day.
00:11:18.980 Okay, this is the Lord's day.
00:11:20.640 This is the weekly memorialization of your redemption.
00:11:24.000 Okay, this is the day of Christ's resurrection.
00:11:26.640 This is a remembrance of God's validation of Jesus's perfect sacrifice and atonement for your sins on the cross, right?
00:11:32.420 That's what the resurrection was, right?
00:11:35.360 This is the day that signifies our Sabbath.
00:11:37.660 That is our eternal rest in Christ.
00:11:41.100 This is the day that God's people have historically come together in the name of Christ, their
00:11:46.860 maker, their creator, right, to celebrate and worship Jesus for his grace and mercy upon
00:11:51.820 their souls.
00:11:52.280 That's what Sunday is.
00:11:53.480 And we need to be sober about that.
00:11:55.980 Okay, so first step is to be sober when we arrive at the meeting of the saints.
00:12:01.260 Don't walk in with a worried heart.
00:12:04.080 Don't walk in with distracted, you know, thinking about the trivialities of the week.
00:12:11.280 Okay, you're coming to worship the God who has orchestrated every circumstance in your life
00:12:17.000 and can change all realities, right?
00:12:20.120 Have your heart posture set to seek him.
00:12:24.880 Look and just sit and rest in his sovereignty.
00:12:30.060 Place him on the throne of your heart to hand all of your anxieties and your fears to him
00:12:36.400 on this day.
00:12:37.100 That's the goal.
00:12:38.920 And ultimately, Sunday is a time of reverence, meditation, and reflection upon the great
00:12:43.800 kindness of our God.
00:12:45.300 Your children need to see this posture in you.
00:12:48.700 Your children, your wife, if you're the spiritual leader of your home, need to see this posture
00:12:54.860 in you.
00:12:56.080 They need to hear you pray and rejoice and worship and praise him in the morning,
00:13:02.000 long before you walk into the doors of the church.
00:13:05.160 Okay?
00:13:07.160 Sunday is not just about church.
00:13:09.040 Sunday is the Lord's day.
00:13:10.720 That means that you wake up differently. 0.78
00:13:12.660 You eat lunch differently.
00:13:13.980 You talk about things differently on that day.
00:13:17.320 It's the Lord's day.
00:13:19.240 Okay?
00:13:19.480 They need to see mom and dad approaching Sunday with not only seriousness, spiritual seriousness, but with joy and gratitude.
00:13:30.020 You know, what you don't want them to see is that Sunday is always casual and light.
00:13:36.260 Because the truth is, it's not either of those things.
00:13:39.760 So, step one is, I would say, start with spiritual sobriety.
00:13:44.120 Number two is don't show up empty-minded.
00:13:49.480 1 Corinthians 14.26 tells us that what should result from the gathering of the saints is edification.
00:14:00.020 It reads this way.
00:14:00.920 It says, when you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation.
00:14:10.820 Let all things be done for edification.
00:14:14.160 Okay, so first it says, when you come together, each one.
00:14:16.800 This is something that's a participatory deal here.
00:14:20.720 Now, some of your Bibles might say building up instead of edification.
00:14:25.120 But the Sunday meeting is not for entertainment or motivation or for sharing about your recent vacation.
00:14:31.860 It's for building up the church in maturity by way of the Word of God, by way of doctrine, by way of worship, by way of prayer, encouragement, exhortation, rebuke, discipline, revelation, testimony.
00:14:45.340 This is not just a command to pastors.
00:14:49.460 This is a command to all Christians. 0.76
00:14:52.720 Now, most Christians show up on Sunday with nothing to give or offer or to share. 0.91
00:14:59.140 And if they did have something of value during the week, they forgot about it. 1.00
00:15:03.920 And this is a selfish habit.
00:15:07.040 We have to stop thinking that what God accomplishes in my life during the week has nothing to do with the life of others in the church.
00:15:14.400 We have to stop thinking this way. We are a body. We need to start thinking the way that we would
00:15:20.220 if we imagined ourselves as connected to other believers. You know, we weep with each other and
00:15:25.640 we rejoice with each other. We need to think like a member of the body of Christ, not just an
00:15:32.320 independent entity with my own private relationship with Jesus. Okay, so this is, again, we're getting
00:15:38.540 deep here, but don't show up empty-minded. Again, when a church has a consumer mindset instead of a
00:15:45.680 contributor mindset, people don't think about how they might edify others, right? They simply think
00:15:52.700 about how the service and the pastor and the worship and the sermon might edify them. Again,
00:15:58.440 this is not the way that Christians are supposed to be thinking. So here's what helped me, 1.00
00:16:03.780 and this is hopefully just practical. I keep a note in my phone each week where I collect
00:16:10.200 any insights that I may have received during my devotional time and any prayer requests that I
00:16:16.460 might have throughout the week, any situations or people I heard about who need prayer, any
00:16:20.320 needs our family might have that could be met by others in the church, any confessions I might need
00:16:25.980 to make to a friend, any apologies I might have for someone I may have hurt, any quotes from
00:16:34.860 theology books that may have been encouraging to me during the week, and I bring them on Sunday.
00:16:43.120 I don't show up empty-minded. I show up ready to contribute and build others up with the wisdom
00:16:48.640 and the worship of God according to the scriptures. Now, the obvious question for those of you who are
00:16:54.820 not in a house church is, well, when would I share these things, right? Because you're not in a
00:17:01.340 contributor format or environment. You're in a crowd where you have not a monologue or not a
00:17:11.420 dialogue, but a monologue. You got to figure out, well, when do I do these things? When do I bring
00:17:17.340 the things that are in my brain? The reason, again, we show up empty-minded because the
00:17:23.100 the actual structure of the church promotes that.
00:17:27.840 It doesn't tell us or give us an opportunity to share anything,
00:17:31.160 so therefore we don't bring anything.
00:17:33.800 And that's just not the way that it's supposed to be, according to Scripture.
00:17:40.080 But for those of you that are in a traditional church
00:17:42.820 and aren't in a dialogue, contributor-centric church,
00:17:49.080 the way you can do that is before your service.
00:17:52.220 you can talk and bring edification. Hug somebody, listen to somebody, pray for somebody,
00:17:59.840 whatever it might be, laugh with somebody, but edify them with truth and scripture.
00:18:05.180 You can do this after the service. You can do this at lunch.
00:18:08.840 Wherever you can build up another believer in your local church on a Sunday, man, do that.
00:18:14.000 Do that. And you don't have to come up with 10 things either, but just don't come up with nothing.
00:18:19.220 Okay, this is a great place to start fulfilling your biblical role in the local church.
00:18:26.100 The last thing I'm going to say is call the saints on Saturday.
00:18:31.980 All right, so we've got three things here, right?
00:18:34.160 Be spiritually sober on Sunday.
00:18:36.120 Don't show up empty-minded.
00:18:38.140 And number three, call the saints on Saturday.
00:18:41.660 The coming together of the church should be driven by relationship, not by duty.
00:18:47.260 All right, I'm going to say that one more time.
00:18:49.220 I want you to let this one just burn into your soul for a second.
00:18:53.660 The coming together of the church should be driven by relationship, not by duty.
00:18:58.860 Sure.
00:19:00.460 Okay, part of our attendance is duty.
00:19:02.980 But if you come each Sunday solely because it's the right thing to do
00:19:06.860 and not because you're eager to gather with other believers
00:19:10.640 and to worship God as the church,
00:19:15.780 not independently where I'm sitting here in the corner
00:19:19.160 and I'm having my own experience with Jesus
00:19:22.540 independent of the church.
00:19:24.380 That's not a theologically sound idea.
00:19:31.100 But you're coming together as the church.
00:19:33.640 If you're not understanding it that way,
00:19:36.380 that's a red flag.
00:19:38.900 Relationships in the church,
00:19:40.620 the body of Christ is critical.
00:19:42.280 Love is the central ethic in Christianity.
00:19:45.180 And if love for God's people by way of relationship isn't present in your local church experience, this needs to be dealt with.
00:19:52.360 You need to figure out why you're not connected to people there.
00:19:57.720 Is it you? Is it them? Is it the culture at the church?
00:20:01.900 But the last thing we need is a church of God's people where everybody feels lonely because it's 10 feet wide and one inch deep and nobody knows each other.
00:20:11.780 There are over a hundred one another's in the New Testament.
00:20:14.220 And if this isn't enough evidence that Jesus expects his children to be in deep, reciprocating relationship with each other, then I don't know what will. 0.68
00:20:23.960 But the sad thing is that many, many Christians show up each Sunday like good soldiers reporting for duty, and nobody ever goes beyond saying hi to them. 0.72
00:20:35.540 There's no invitation to lunch. 0.52
00:20:37.120 There's no switching phone numbers. 0.65
00:20:38.480 There's just small talk that leaves people feeling exactly the opposite of how Christians are supposed to feel when they're with each other.
00:20:44.220 which is connected.
00:20:46.260 The Bible talks about loving one another,
00:20:49.360 confessing your sins to one another,
00:20:50.660 and praying for one another that you may be healed,
00:20:52.360 bearing the burdens of one another.
00:20:53.400 I mean, this is the language of New Testament life
00:20:59.240 in fellowship, participatory,
00:21:02.080 reciprocating fellowship with one another.
00:21:04.940 Now, most of us know someone at our local church,
00:21:09.980 and here's my suggestion.
00:21:12.700 Call them on Saturday.
00:21:14.220 and let them know that you're excited to fellowship with them the following day.
00:21:20.440 Because when believers realize that other believers are anticipating their presence,
00:21:24.280 they begin to feel connected and not just one person in a crowd.
00:21:27.980 And if you have several friends,
00:21:29.540 this can be a great way to nurture real biblical community within your traditional church. 0.89
00:21:34.540 In a house church community, this is far more natural.
00:21:37.820 For example, in a house church, nobody misses church unless they're sick or out of town.
00:21:42.700 And why would they?
00:21:43.900 Because a house church is so intimate and small, you know every single person.
00:21:49.480 And over time, these people become like family to you.
00:21:52.200 And why would you miss a gathering to worship Jesus with all the people that you love the most?
00:21:56.460 You wouldn't.
00:21:57.460 Right?
00:21:57.680 You wouldn't.
00:21:59.120 And that's why our ministry is so passionate about small biblical home gatherings.
00:22:04.600 But again, even if you're in a large traditional church, you can apply this principle as a way to increase the rich relationships that will remind the Christians in your local church how wonderful the Sunday gathering is when it's with people who know and love you.
00:22:25.640 And so that's my thing.
00:22:27.420 Call people the day before.
00:22:29.300 Let them know that you're excited to see them.
00:22:31.980 How would you feel if someone did that for you?
00:22:33.940 That's what church is supposed to be like.
00:22:36.140 It's worshiping God in fellowship with one another.
00:22:40.600 It's a beautiful place when we actually get ourselves accurate with the scriptures and in a fruitful, intimate environment.
00:22:47.700 So there you have it, Molly.
00:22:48.520 We got three things, right?
00:22:49.940 We got be spiritually sober about Sunday.
00:22:53.140 Don't show up empty-minded.
00:22:54.860 And call the saints on Saturday.
00:22:58.560 And so I'm going to leave you guys
00:23:01.340 with just two other resources
00:23:03.500 that might be helpful for you.
00:23:04.620 They were helpful for me
00:23:05.380 when I was preparing this podcast.
00:23:08.440 I think they're going to offer
00:23:09.180 further instruction for understanding
00:23:10.540 your role in the local church
00:23:11.740 and how to view the local church.
00:23:13.300 And you can find these
00:23:14.000 at the post page for this episode
00:23:16.220 at relearn.org.
00:23:17.860 This is episode 113,
00:23:19.380 titled How to Prepare Yourself
00:23:21.060 and Your Family for Church.
00:23:22.700 You can just search that in the search bar.
00:23:25.160 So the first resource is a video.
00:23:27.060 It's short, a couple minutes long, by John MacArthur.
00:23:30.320 It's titled, Every Believer's Responsibility.
00:23:34.020 The second video is a video by Paul Washer, and it's titled, God Determines How We Do Church.
00:23:43.200 And so hopefully those resources will be edifying for you.
00:23:46.860 Guys, if you're a regular listener to this episode or to this podcast, would you guys do me a favor and just tap the stars in the iTunes or the podcast app?
00:23:55.300 You don't need to write anything.
00:23:57.060 But if you do write something, I will read it.
00:23:58.920 And some of you guys have left some encouraging reviews recently.
00:24:02.260 Thank you.
00:24:03.180 These are so very helpful to hear for us.
00:24:07.140 I mean, we just feel so encouraged when someone writes a review.
00:24:10.040 So if you guys are going to write a review, we will read it.
00:24:12.760 Also, if you guys don't follow us on Instagram or Facebook,
00:24:17.220 again, that's just relearn.org.
00:24:18.660 You guys can find us there.
00:24:19.740 You can also follow me on Twitter, at Dale Partridge.
00:24:22.620 I'm putting out regular content there,
00:24:25.200 just some of the daily thinkings and quotes that come to mind. On that note, my name is Dale
00:24:31.540 Partridge, and I will see you guys next week on Real Christianity. Take care.
00:24:55.200 And for those looking to explore the idea of joining or planting a church in your home,
00:24:58.840 you can download our free PDF e-book titled The Basics of Biblical House Church by visiting
00:25:03.980 relearn.org forward slash house.
00:25:06.580 Lastly, do you have a theological question you would like answered on the show?
00:25:10.420 Submit your question at relearn.org forward slash question.
00:25:14.320 Thanks for joining us on this episode of Real Christianity.
00:25:16.940 We will see you next Wednesday.