Dale Partridge - Real Christianity #158： The Duty to Forgive—No Matter How Difficult

00:00:00.000 Welcome to Real Christianity. My name is Dale Partridge. For those of you who are new here, 0.65

00:00:08.980 you can always find the show notes for these episodes at relearn.org. Our mission at relearn.org

00:00:14.100 is to bring the church back to the Bible. And we're doing that by fighting for biblical literacy

00:00:19.620 in the church. Today's episode, we're going to be touching on an issue that's both at the core

00:00:25.280 of our relationship with God and our relationship with others. We're going to be talking about

00:00:30.820 forgiveness, and every one of us has faced the opportunity to either forgive or resent.

00:00:38.220 For those who have chosen the latter, that resentment often turns into bitterness, retaliation,

00:00:45.180 and even sometimes hate. Before we begin diving into the depths of this conversation, I just

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00:01:36.620 passing 3 million downloads. We've got, I think, over 5,000 reviews. This show, guys, has reached

00:01:43.300 so many people because of your loyal listenership and your support. So again, just thank you guys

00:01:49.960 so much. It really does mean a lot to us over here. The next thing I wanted to talk about is

00:01:55.460 one of our products that we offer is standinvictory.org. And this is a program that helps

00:02:01.300 Christians break free from the bondage of pornography through the theological truth

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00:02:30.140 as it relates to those issues. So go to standinvictory.org. You can enroll there. It's

00:02:38.340 a short program. You can do the whole thing in a day. You can do the whole thing over a week or

00:02:43.400 two. It's very easy. It's really just broken down into about three or four videos. Okay,

00:02:48.560 to dive into this episode, I'm not going to pretend that this is a non-issue among Christians.

00:02:53.460 In fact, we've all been hurt, betrayed, deceived, defrauded, abandoned by somebody

00:02:59.980 at some point in our lives. And the need for a clear understanding of the Bible's position and

00:03:07.020 command of forgiveness is not so much theological as it really is practical for our life.

00:03:16.800 Furthermore, I'd say that the Bible stands firm and speaks very clearly about our duty as

00:03:23.800 Christians to forgive the trespasses and offenses of others. Now, to be clear, our forgiveness

00:03:28.740 doesn't mean that there are not consequences and justice, both civil and divine, for the

00:03:36.640 painful actions of those who have hurt us. There's absolutely a place for retribution

00:03:43.540 in terms of consequences for those inflictions of pain. But today's discussion is regarding

00:03:52.460 the Bible's doctrine of forgiveness, but not only the act or the duty, but also the reason behind

00:04:00.900 it. And for those who are severely wounded, I just want to encourage you to join me today as

00:04:08.580 we look upon the words of our Lord. This passage is from Matthew 18, 23 through 35. It's 13 verses

00:04:19.780 and it's a parable. And so hang in there as I read the text. I'm going to be reading from

00:04:25.200 the NASB and then I'll offer some clarification and a few application points at the end.

00:04:32.180 It reads, for this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle

00:04:39.100 accounts with his slaves. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him 10,000 talents

00:04:45.640 was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold

00:04:52.080 along with his wife and children and all that he had and repayment to be made. So the slave fell

00:04:59.840 to the ground and prostrated himself before him saying, have patience with me and I will repay

00:05:05.580 you everything. And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the

00:05:11.480 debt. But the slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii.

00:05:18.840 And he seized him and began to choke him saying, pay back what you owe. So his fellow slave fell

00:05:25.460 to the ground and began to plead with him saying, have patience with me and I will repay you. But

00:05:30.860 he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when

00:05:37.760 his fellow slaves saw what had happened. They were deeply grieved and came and reported to their Lord

00:05:43.900 all that had happened. Then summoning him, his Lord said to him, you wicked slave, I forgave you

00:05:51.060 all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have mercy on your fellow slave in

00:05:57.540 the same way that I had mercy on you? And his Lord was moved with anger, handed him over to the

00:06:06.020 torturers until he should repay all that was owed to him. Then Jesus said, my heavenly father will

00:06:12.900 also do the same to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from the heart.

00:06:20.100 Now this is again a parable and our job and our duty as interpreters of scripture is to extract

00:06:28.740 the meaning of a parable, which as parabolic language, and there are some rules for interpreting

00:06:36.860 parables that are different than interpreting, you know, a scripture that's more direct or historical

00:06:43.220 or didactic. But as we know that parables are basically simple stories that typically illustrate

00:06:50.420 one moral truth. In this parable, Jesus doesn't really leave the listeners much room for

00:06:57.400 interpretation. The lesson is pretty clear. Forgive as you have been forgiven. And that said,

00:07:04.360 I believe the reason that so many Christians still struggle with forgiveness, despite knowing

00:07:10.340 our Lord's position on this matter, is because they don't fully understand the reasons behind

00:07:17.380 it and the degree of forgiveness that's been extended to them. And this is really important.

00:07:23.960 We cannot extend forgiveness that we have not understood or experienced ourself.

00:07:31.620 So my aim in this episode is to really look briefly at the parable and extract some of

00:07:36.840 the theological narratives displayed by Jesus and break them down and talk about them a

00:07:41.700 bit.

00:07:41.900 So my first point I want you to notice is our debt to God is so great, it is unable

00:07:50.020 to be repaid.

00:07:52.220 Jesus tells us in this parable that a man owes 10,000 talents.

00:07:57.800 That translates to about $3.4 billion in today's money.

00:08:03.660 And at the average wage during that day, it would have taken about 200,000 years to pay off.

00:08:09.900 In other words, the debt that Jesus is talking about in this parable is so great

00:08:14.760 that it's unable to be paid back.

00:08:18.620 and now the debt we're talking about here is obviously our sin. We have a huge debt of sin

00:08:29.540 against God. I think about the passage that our debt has been nailed to the cross

00:08:35.660 in the sense that Jesus paid for that debt, our sin. And we've sinned so greatly against a holy

00:08:43.220 God that without his forgiveness, there is no possible way that we could ever be reconciled

00:08:51.100 to him.

00:08:52.360 So that's point number one.

00:08:53.180 Point number two is God, the king in this parable, is compassionate and willing to forgive

00:09:00.680 even the greatest debt of sin against him.

00:09:06.700 And we see this in his willingness just to make a path for reconciliation through repentance

00:09:11.280 and belief in Jesus Christ.

00:09:12.420 Romans 5, 8 says, but God demonstrates his own love toward us in that while we were still sinners,

00:09:20.140 Christ died for us. First John 4, 9 through 10. In this, the love of God was made manifest among us

00:09:26.820 that God sent his only son into the world so that we might believe or that we might live through him.

00:09:33.360 In this is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son to be the

00:09:40.260 propitiation for our sins. That word propitiation means to appease the wrath of God through blood

00:09:47.940 sacrifice. It's a biblical word that's really important. We are appeasing the wrath of God

00:09:54.580 through blood sacrifice. I should say not we, but Christ is doing that. And so Christ became

00:10:00.160 that sacrificial propitiation for our sins, paying the debt of our sins. Ephesians 2.7 says,

00:10:07.620 so that in the coming ages, he, that is God, he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace

00:10:15.820 in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. And I wish that I could read all of Ephesians to kind of give

00:10:22.100 you the context there. But one thing I want to show you is that he basically has elected us and

00:10:27.460 chosen us and redeemed us, according to Ephesians 2, so that in the coming ages, God might show

00:10:34.640 the immeasurable, immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

00:10:43.020 So point number one, our debt to God is so great, it's unable to be repaid. Point number two is that

00:10:48.040 God is compassionate and willing to forgive even the greatest amount of debt in regards to our

00:10:54.340 sins against him. So this is what we're learning from this parable. Point number three, the sins

00:11:00.660 that others committed against us are small in comparison to the sins we commit against a holy

00:11:08.160 God. Now, perspective is vital. Without a clear comprehension of how repulsive and offensive we

00:11:15.980 are to God in our sin, we're not going to be able to comprehend the degree of grace and forgiveness

00:11:21.720 extended to us through Christ. In other words, we can't offer what we have not experienced

00:11:29.560 ourselves. We can't practice what we don't understand. We can't extend what we don't have.

00:11:35.380 And this is why it's vital that we have a clear view of the doctrine of man. When you contrast

00:11:43.580 the doctrine of man, our depravity, our fallenness, our brokenness, our sinfulness,

00:11:50.560 with God's holiness, we begin to see why Jesus used such an enormous number in this parable,

00:11:58.220 like 10,000 talents. You'll also begin to see why the sins of others committed against you or me

00:12:07.700 are comparatively microscopic. And the ratio that Jesus uses in the parable, right? He talks about

00:12:15.120 10,000 talents and 100 denarii. So essentially, this is microscopic in relationship to that one

00:12:25.220 talent would be 1% of that. And we're talking about 100 denarii, not even talent. So

00:12:32.180 what I'm basically trying to get across here is that the grievousness of the sins that we

00:12:38.600 commit against one another are microscopic in comparison to the grievousness of the sins that

00:12:47.080 we commit against a holy God. And that must sink in deeply into your soul. C.S. Lewis says,

00:12:59.040 to be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable in others because God has forgiven the inexcusable

00:13:06.980 in you. I think that was a great way to capture that. But what I would even take further is that

00:13:14.460 To be a Christian means to forgive these relatively small issues because God has forgiven these mountainous, magnitude, giant, enormous, huge, colossal issues in us.

00:13:31.760 So point number four is we learn from this parable, which is, I think, the most vital moral lesson that we get from this.

00:13:40.120 I think this is the central meaning of the parable.

00:13:44.460 our unwillingness to forgive others in light of what we have been forgiven is wicked.

00:13:53.440 The parable actually reads, quote, you wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you

00:14:00.660 pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave in the same way that

00:14:06.420 I had mercy on you? So first, let me point out that it's interesting. This parable isn't teaching

00:14:13.540 that we need to forgive people who haven't repented.

00:14:19.560 Now, we do know that true reconciliation requires both parties.

00:14:24.880 There needs to be repentance for reconciliation to actually take place.

00:14:29.420 That said, the scriptures also teach strongly against bitterness and hate

00:14:36.040 and forgiveness regardless of repentance.

00:14:39.960 Luke 6, 27 through 28 says,

00:14:42.540 but I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse

00:14:50.500 you, pray for those who abuse you. In other words, if someone sins against you as a born-again

00:14:56.420 Christian and this person repents to you and you refuse to forgive them, this is a major deal.

00:15:03.840 Watch out. John Piper says it this way. If you are a merciless person, you will meet a merciless

00:15:10.320 God. And that's really starting to get closer to kind of what Jesus is saying here, the gravity,

00:15:18.180 the weight of having this degree of forgiveness and not extending it to others. So basically,

00:15:26.660 in one sense, you can't have reconciliation without repentance. So it's important that

00:15:31.820 an offense that someone's taken against you, or someone's offended you or sinned against you,

00:15:36.780 it is important that that person repents. And you can have reconciliation between those two

00:15:43.520 parties, especially as brothers or sisters in Christ. Now, the question really becomes,

00:15:50.000 what do we need to forgive somebody if someone doesn't repent? And I'm going to say, yes,

00:15:57.180 we do. We are called to forgive regardless of their apology. We've been extended such a great

00:16:07.940 deal of grace and forgiveness that it should allow us to forgive even the most dark and broken

00:16:14.600 sins that are committed against us. Piper comes at it again for the win when he pointed out,

00:16:20.340 Jesus teaches, you cannot genuinely receive my forgiveness

00:16:26.520 and remain unforgiving.

00:16:29.980 And again, I think that's the central point

00:16:31.620 of what Jesus is teaching in this passage.

00:16:34.180 We really need to work on receiving the forgiveness

00:16:40.580 and not just receiving it

00:16:42.300 because it's already happened to us,

00:16:44.220 but actually comprehending the forgiveness,

00:16:47.460 comprehending the magnitude of forgiveness.

00:16:51.080 It's from that place that we can extend the forgiveness.

00:16:55.140 So if you have bitterness or if you have resentment

00:17:01.140 or revenge or retaliation or hate in your heart

00:17:05.540 from a wound that was inflicted by another,

00:17:09.880 that needs to be let go.

00:17:12.040 And the way that can be let go

00:17:14.800 is through seeing what Christ has done for you

00:17:18.940 and what God has done for you in Christ.

00:17:23.020 So the question is, what does this really mean for your life?

00:17:26.260 What are you to do with this?

00:17:29.840 First, if you're one who struggles with bitterness,

00:17:34.980 I would encourage you to study the doctrine of man.

00:17:40.100 And in tandem with that,

00:17:42.160 study the doctrine of total depravity. The truth is that we think much too highly of ourselves.

00:17:50.280 We are blind to how heinous we are in light of a holy God. Self-love is blinding. And we live

00:18:01.560 in a generation of selfism and self-love. And we often think that we're much greater and much

00:18:10.480 better than we really are. And when we think so highly of ourselves, it alleviates the ability to,

00:18:19.760 I should say it doesn't alleviate, it doesn't allow us to see who we truly are and how much

00:18:29.040 we had to be forgiven. And again, this is at the core of this issue. And when you finally grasp

00:18:34.020 the degree of your own depravity, you will cherish God's grace and forgiveness all the more.

00:18:40.480 It's here at that space when you have clarity that you will become humble and that you will

00:18:47.880 be more easily able to extend that grace and that mercy and that forgiveness that you have

00:18:56.600 received to others. Another great resource to help you really grow the chasm between God and you

00:19:07.480 so that Christ becomes more beautiful is R.C. Sproul's book, The Holiness of God.

00:19:14.960 When you can comprehend the holiness of God and the depravity of man, and that gap widens

00:19:25.220 further and further and further until this point where you go, I cannot believe that I am forgiven.

00:19:32.500 I cannot believe that I am saved. 0.99

00:19:36.820 Oh God, why did you choose me, this gross, nasty sinner? 0.96

00:19:43.800 You think of the man in the Gospels that's pounding his chest. 0.99

00:19:48.120 Oh God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

00:19:51.400 When you can get to that perspective

00:19:53.980 and you realize how much of the debt has been wiped away,

00:19:59.960 you will not turn into that servant who holds people accountable and chokes them and ask for

00:20:07.480 payment and hangs on to the bitterness and resentment and will not forgive others. You

00:20:17.200 won't be that person because you can't. God's love will pierce your heart and extend and pour

00:20:24.280 out of you in grace and mercy and forgiveness. Second, ignorance of scripture doesn't remove

00:20:34.500 our duty to obey it. And that is that we are to obey this truth, even if we don't yet understand

00:20:44.220 it. In fact, in some instances, by doing, we actually learn to understand. But as it pertains

00:20:52.840 of this passage and teaching, forgive others even if you can't understand why at this point.

00:21:01.480 You still need to go and you need to do your study of the doctrine of man. You still need to go look

00:21:05.140 at total depravity. You still need to look at the holiness of God and the Lord will reveal those

00:21:08.980 things in time and grow that revelation in your heart. And it'll get more and more beautiful the

00:21:14.900 older you get and the more you understand and the more you mature in Christ. But until that point,

00:21:19.700 we still need to obey. So seek God's word and seek counsel from other mature believers in that

00:21:26.540 process, but trust the teaching of scripture that forgive as we have been forgiven.

00:21:34.900 We have to remember that God says that vengeance is his and that he will repay.

00:21:41.660 Justice will be served on earth or in eternity, regardless of these matters

00:21:48.660 between us and another, but until then, we need to love and pray for and bless and find peace,

00:21:59.560 at least from our end, with those that have hurt us, and we have to remember if Jesus could forgive

00:22:08.760 and pray for those who were murdering him on the cross, Father, forgive them for they know not what

00:22:14.680 they do. Stephen said the same thing. Many martyrs through church history have said the

00:22:20.060 same thing. What they are doing is they are extending the love and the forgiveness that

00:22:24.260 has been given to them, and it's pouring out through them into others. If people can do that

00:22:31.180 when they see the beauty of God's forgiveness, grace, and mercy, then you can forgive those

00:22:36.500 and pray for those and love those and bless those who have hurt you. And so may the grace of God be

00:22:44.460 upon you in this journey of forgiving other people and letting go of the pain and looking to Christ

00:22:51.400 and placing that hurt and that brokenness at his feet where he can make you whole.

00:22:57.280 I hope this message was helpful for you and edifying for you on your journey

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00:23:59.500 Thank you for listening to this episode.

00:24:02.360 It's been a blessing to share

00:24:03.720 these scriptural truths with you guys.

00:24:05.480 My name is Dale Partridge.

00:24:06.820 This is Real Christianity, and we'll see you next week.

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00:24:39.820 Lastly, do you have a theological question you would like answered on the show?

00:24:43.580 Submit your question at relearn.org forward slash question.

00:24:47.540 Thanks for joining us on this episode of Real Christianity.

00:24:50.100 We will see you next Wednesday.

Dale Partridge - August 11, 2021

Real Christianity #158： The Duty to Forgive—No Matter How Difficult

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