Dale Partridge - Real Christianity #39： What is a Biblical Man？ Part 2

00:00:00.940 Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Real Christianity. We are talking about... 0.83

00:00:06.280 What is a Biblical Man? Part 2.

00:00:08.700 Part 2. Guys, we are on a four-part series. Two for the women, two for the men.

00:00:14.160 And if you haven't listened to the two for the women, those are completed.

00:00:18.960 And this is the second part of the men, I guess, version of the episode.

00:00:24.880 So, I'm excited about that.

00:00:26.200 A couple of things I wanted to say is one, I wish I could put together like the perfect biblical role sermon podcast, and I can't.

00:00:37.860 I'm trying my hardest to put together what I think is most needed for our audience.

00:00:43.140 And so some people may have viewed this as like, oh, you forgot about this.

00:00:47.080 And what about that?

00:00:47.880 or you know they take one piece that I said and apply it that that's how I stand in my theology

00:00:55.520 across the board and so it's important we get reviews every now and then

00:01:00.360 they listen to one episode and they review the entire podcast and I go no no that's why I often

00:01:07.140 say is hey if you're a regular listener to their podcast would you consider leaving a review because

00:01:12.180 you know what as Christians we sometimes say things not the right way or maybe they're heard

00:01:20.280 differently than what's said and so I just ask for you guys's grace and that and apply if I say

00:01:25.080 something that you go oh that sounds a little bit weird look at the scriptures first and then

00:01:30.340 secondly apply something that might rub you the wrong way across all of the episodes that you've

00:01:35.400 listened to because there's always something that any pastor or any man of God says that I'm like

00:01:41.060 wait what john piper said things that i'm like wait what um so i just wanted to offer that for

00:01:48.300 your consideration um but welcome to the show and for those that are new here if you guys don't know

00:01:55.400 you can listen to this show on spotify and itunes and google play and youtube this is available as

00:02:02.140 a video if you're listening to this and if you're watching this as a video it's available as a

00:02:05.280 podcast and so um thank you guys for that also if you haven't and you are a regular listener would

00:02:09.880 you guys leave a review in itunes they're really important for the furthering of the show and the

00:02:15.000 message um veronica is going to talk more today which is great so we got some more discussion for

00:02:21.780 her in comparison to last week's episode yeah veronica loves shows that she doesn't have to

00:02:29.460 talk much um she's just the introvert of the family um family the whole family

00:02:38.180 so I wanted to mention I'm working on a new book and this is the first time I've mentioned it

00:02:45.340 outside of I guess on the internet you mentioned it to people like you don't know yeah exactly so

00:02:53.320 on social media yeah I haven't mentioned yes I don't know is this a form of social media

00:02:57.440 I guess I think so I don't know so this I'm writing a new book it's called real Christianity

00:03:02.840 like the podcast and the subtitle is how to be bold for christ in a culture of darkness

00:03:09.900 and i think it's a common need in the church today how do i stand up for christ in this

00:03:15.860 culture that seems so hostile i just want to let you guys know that i'm working on that

00:03:20.300 we're going to self-publish it most of my books are published through publishers but this one i

00:03:24.840 wanted to get out quick it is going to be a paperback and it's going to be beautifully designed

00:03:29.440 available it's a short book um and i think we're going to make it available for anybody that wants

00:03:34.920 to make a donation um a one-time donation to our ministry so i wanted to tell you about that just

00:03:40.740 get your anticipation up i'm hoping uh actually i'm going to even ask for prayer please pray for

00:03:46.280 me as i'm writing this manuscript i'm i'm probably 60 to 75 percent done um but man it's it's it's

00:03:53.940 hard it's hard stuff um yeah it's it's heavy it's heavy stuff yeah talk about real christianity i

00:04:00.960 mean come on so um okay uh we're talking about manhood what does it mean to be a biblical man

00:04:07.680 and the last episode we talked about hey jesus the ultimate man uh what makes jesus jesus the

00:04:14.560 three components we talked about are the first thing is that he's loving so man men if the first

00:04:20.060 three characteristics about how someone describes you aren't these characteristics, then you got

00:04:28.120 some work to do. And I got some work to do because it's hard stuff. Is the first thing someone says

00:04:34.800 about you, man, that guy's so loving. Um, there are people that I know that have that. It's rare

00:04:41.800 to have all three of them. Very rare as someone describes you. The second one is, um, are you

00:04:48.800 truthful because usually when you're loving you kind of avoid the truth and then you when you're

00:04:53.480 truthful you it's very difficult for you to like appear as if you're loving somebody and so to

00:04:58.400 master those two really well and then the third thing um is humble are you humble is someone going

00:05:07.540 to describe you as humble i think that humble is probably my number eighth characteristic

00:05:12.560 and so i really said it not me i really struggle with humility it's hard it's a lifelong journey

00:05:20.840 of me walking in the spirit you've grown in that area so much though compared to when i first met

00:05:25.880 you oh it was bad guys it was bad i was a prideful wreck um so yeah love truth and humility um we're

00:05:35.000 gonna look at the scriptures we're gonna look at also the three parts of a man uh men father

00:05:39.720 men husband father sadly though we're not going to look at fatherhood today it's just its own

00:05:45.260 massive topic and we'll do that later but we are going to get through what does it mean to be a

00:05:49.380 biblical man and what does it mean to be a biblical husband okay the thing that i want to reference

00:05:55.580 just from last week real quick and then veronica is going to come in and open us up here is the

00:06:00.940 main point that we had last week on the last episode was that men have an intrinsic desire

00:06:06.380 like a God-given, divinely given, generally speaking, desire to lead. Now, the best version

00:06:14.840 of that, the best form of that is to be a servant leader. They have an intrinsic value and desire to

00:06:20.300 provide. And the best version of that is that they will do it selflessly, providing for others

00:06:26.480 and thinking of themselves last. The third thing that they're intrinsically just designed the way

00:06:32.160 lord made us is to protect and the that part is i would say is the best version of that is a

00:06:39.060 sacrificial like i will literally give my life for you um and this isn't just things that are

00:06:45.800 natural to us it's actually the biblical commands for men to be leaders to be providers to be

00:06:52.140 protectors of the faith and protectors of their families so um i'm excited to just talk about

00:06:58.000 those things today so okay yeah so last week Dale reviewed the qualifications of an elder in the

00:07:05.080 church which is God's highest character standards for men in the scriptures so if you haven't had

00:07:10.620 a chance to listen to part one of the series we recommend that you go back and review that

00:07:15.540 listen to it before listening to this episode but today we're going to be looking at the specific

00:07:21.180 passages of scripture for manhood husbandry and fatherhood again Dale so we're actually

00:07:26.100 not getting to fatherhood. Yeah, I just decided at the end. I think it's just too much. Too much,

00:07:30.000 yeah. We only have a certain amount of time, guys. Okay, so today we're going to be looking at

00:07:33.780 specific passages for manhood and husbandry. I'll open up with the first passage, and that's going

00:07:38.380 to be in 1 Timothy chapter 6, verse 6 through 12. Now godliness with contentment is great gain,

00:07:44.200 for we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food

00:07:49.160 and clothing with these, we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation

00:07:54.420 and a snare and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition

00:07:59.740 for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil for which some have strayed from the faith

00:08:06.420 in their greediness and pierced themselves through with many sorrows but you oh man of god flee these

00:08:12.400 things and pursue righteousness godliness faith love patience gentleness fight the good fight of

00:08:17.760 faith lay hold on eternal life to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession

00:08:24.120 confession in the presence of many witnesses okay long passage of scripture i i just generally like

00:08:31.440 to look at long passages of scripture because it gets the context when you just do one verse

00:08:36.040 you don't really understand what the passage is actually saying and i think that's good um

00:08:41.260 and so yeah this passage again is just first timothy 6 6 through 12 and remember that this

00:08:47.120 passage was actually written to timothy who is a man and so when he says you know you a man of god

00:08:52.920 he's really referencing, again, a universal principle for local application in Timothy's life

00:08:58.220 and in our lives as Christians. That word man is anthropos, which is actually mankind. So you can

00:09:07.180 argue theologically that this is actually to the women too, but the context says that it's written

00:09:11.760 to a man. It's not like Ephesians where you don't know who it's written to. It's written to the

00:09:15.640 church at Ephesus. This is actually written to Timothy. And so I've taken that and I wanted to

00:09:21.380 give you that context for those theologians that are listening, that I have caught that this isn't

00:09:25.840 just specifically to males, but this is actually to the church. But however, the context does show

00:09:31.200 that this is actually, could have a connotation of how men should behave.

00:09:39.280 So there are many, the reason this is important to talk about is that there are too many gaps,

00:09:45.180 Too many men with these gaps between what they believe and how they behave.

00:09:51.620 And I talk about this pretty often, is we want to constantly close the gaps.

00:09:55.460 And men, I'm talking to you here, is that we got to make sure that we have this constantly minimizing the space between what we believe and how we behave.

00:10:04.260 Because if we believe something and behave differently, we're called hypocrites in the scripture.

00:10:08.280 And that's critical.

00:10:09.300 James chapter 1 verse 22 reminds us that, but be doers of the word and not hearers only deceiving

00:10:16.500 yourselves. And the reality is that we are called as men to not just be hearers of the word, but to

00:10:22.320 be doers. And it's saying that, you know, it doesn't matter what you believe if it doesn't

00:10:27.820 change how you live. And so guys, when I talk about this scripture today, I'm not here to just

00:10:34.360 give you head knowledge. This stuff should absolutely, through the power of God, through

00:10:40.200 the power of the Word of God, come in and bring fruitfulness, growth, conviction, change, and to

00:10:48.460 not be just a hearer of it, but be a doer of it. And so I want to open up, just kind of walk this

00:10:55.780 passage through, because I think there's a lot of great lessons about what it means to be a biblical

00:11:00.000 man here. And then again, we'll direct the next section after Veronica has some things to add

00:11:04.620 on what it means to be a biblical man in terms of a husband. And so this passage actually opens up

00:11:11.160 with a really powerful statement. I use this passage quite often, actually, when I'm discussing

00:11:15.660 just life with men. So it's something to reference and have memorized. Now, godliness with contentment

00:11:22.040 is great gain. That's a pretty important passage of what it's saying. What is great gain?

00:11:27.520 godliness godliness is great gain and it's not wealth or possessions that's the contrast that

00:11:36.180 it's about to draw it's not wealth or possessions now every if you every man in the world believes

00:11:42.680 i'm talking in the world being culturally not christian thinks that the way that they establish

00:11:48.120 some sort of gain is through wealth and possessions but no paul is flipping this

00:11:53.160 thing upside down it says no godliness is contentment with contentment yeah is great gain

00:11:58.460 not an incredible career not social media uh not a platform um not even a super fit body like these

00:12:07.100 things are they're not bad things but at the end of the day the thing that paul wants to draw our

00:12:12.580 focus is that godliness is actually outweighs those things and we brought nothing into this

00:12:18.620 world but our sin and the reason that godliness is such a great gain is because the only thing we

00:12:24.680 brought into this world is sin and the fact that we've actually are leaving with godliness we came

00:12:30.220 in with sin and are leaving with godliness is great gain um and and this kind of attainment

00:12:39.500 of godliness through christ is what it's talking about is great gain and the only thing that you

00:12:45.080 can take with you after your death is your godliness, is your belief in Christ. You can't

00:12:50.860 take anything else. And so this is saying, men, that attaining wealth without godliness is great

00:12:58.060 loss. Attaining possessions or attaining influence without godliness is great loss. And this is a

00:13:05.780 eternally true statement that we need to just recognize as like, wow, okay, am I focused more

00:13:12.300 on building wealth and possessions than I am on my own godliness. And I'd actually take this even

00:13:17.100 further. In my experience, and I've been around a lot of wealthy people. I've had a chance to be

00:13:23.220 in the business world. And I've actually had a chance for us to experience wealth in our own

00:13:28.840 life. And so in my experience about being around men who keep eternity in view, they don't generally

00:13:37.360 build up, you know, a mass amount of treasures on this earth. That's generally not their heart

00:13:44.040 posture. Yes, you know, some are wealthy and some have been given wealth to be stewards of that

00:13:50.880 wealth for Christ and his kingdom. But these men aren't generally focused on, you know, their deep

00:13:58.360 focus isn't on the acquisition of more possessions and earning more money or amassing luxury or

00:14:06.420 comfort. That's not generally their focus. These men are really aiming at godliness and stewarding

00:14:13.740 God's resources, which is his money. And he who is faithful over little will be ruler over much.

00:14:19.400 If you can't be trusted with the little amount of money that you have because you keep getting in

00:14:23.940 debt and you keep, you know, mismanaging your possessions, well then the Lord is watching that.

00:14:30.500 He who is faithful with little is ruler over much. And that's a principle that we see again

00:14:35.600 in scripture. These men are really far more occupied with building treasures in heaven.

00:14:43.820 And man, it's hard to do something that has no earthly gain. I'm a pastor, and I'm often

00:14:51.680 fighting for relational growth in people. And I go, man, I'm not getting paid for this.

00:15:00.540 I'm not expecting some sort of benefit from it.

00:15:04.740 This is building up God's kingdom.

00:15:07.540 We do this as mothers and fathers, as our children.

00:15:10.540 It's thankless work.

00:15:12.000 It's building treasure in heaven.

00:15:13.860 And it's a really important perspective that a godly man must have,

00:15:17.760 is that, you know what, I'm here to do God's work today.

00:15:21.040 Whether that benefits me or not in these earthly, material ways, it doesn't matter.

00:15:26.980 So additionally, when we go back to that scripture, verse 8,

00:15:30.340 says and having food and clothing with these we shall be content um so this is again maybe a

00:15:37.820 conviction for some of us but godly men are content with having their needs be met just

00:15:44.680 that's it as long as my needs are met like that's what he's talking about food and shelter it's

00:15:49.040 talking about food water shelter clothing like things that are promised yes the things that are

00:15:53.600 promised in scripture matthew chapter 6 jesus saying seek first the kingdom of god and all

00:15:58.580 these things, which is food, water, shelter, clothing, will be added unto you. And, you know,

00:16:05.480 if you have those plus godliness, and you're still striving for more, you know, all the time,

00:16:14.940 you need to ask yourself why. I'm not saying that it's bad to be passionate and to want more.

00:16:21.100 um you know it's okay to want more but God wants um God wants us to be yielded to his heart and

00:16:29.900 being okay with just our needs being met um I found a definition of striving in a theology

00:16:36.840 book that I was reading I want to share with you guys because I've seen a lot of guys strive it's

00:16:41.320 this deep desire for affirmation and approval and most men they want to be affirmed they want to be

00:16:49.600 seen as as valuable they want to make their mark in the world and this is probably the case for

00:16:57.060 so many workaholic men but the definition that i found for striving which is not the mark of a

00:17:04.940 mature man is to struggle vigorously to achieve or obtain something outside of god's will it's like

00:17:13.840 the branch, striving to bear fruit. But the only way to bear fruit is to abide in the vine.

00:17:24.220 And Jesus says, apart from me, you can do nothing. And so are we resting in the fact that, you know

00:17:29.500 what, the fastest way to get anywhere is actually to just be in God's will? Or are we striving real

00:17:34.800 hard to bear fruit and chase these things that are outside of God's will? We're not even caring,

00:17:39.160 It's just our own life, our own kingdom.

00:17:41.720 And it's something to think about.

00:17:44.940 The lesson of this passage, as you read it in whole,

00:17:48.500 is trying to teach men to trade the pursuits of wealth and greed and passion for workaholism,

00:17:58.920 like just this overtly intense passion for work,

00:18:04.280 for a pursuit of righteousness and godliness

00:18:08.560 and faith and love and gentleness.

00:18:10.300 It's asking to trade those things

00:18:12.440 and to not view them the way that the world views them.

00:18:15.300 This is actually like the underlying premise

00:18:18.180 of my book, Saved from Success.

00:18:20.000 The back of the book, I wrote the statement,

00:18:23.120 what if the world's definition of success

00:18:26.720 is God's definition of failure?

00:18:30.560 And it's a big hypothesis of going,

00:18:32.700 wow, God's kingdom is so upside down.

00:18:36.140 You know, who's the greatest?

00:18:37.740 The least.

00:18:39.420 Who's the loudest?

00:18:41.020 The quietest.

00:18:42.100 You know, this is God's way.

00:18:45.600 Now, the pursuit of wealth has led many away from the faith.

00:18:49.260 That's what it's even said in this passage.

00:18:51.120 The pursuit of wealth, and we've seen it in our own life.

00:18:54.240 We've watched people chase money to the detriment of their own families,

00:18:59.000 their own marriage, their own children, their own faith.

00:19:04.460 The unified message throughout the scriptures about riches is that they are deceitful.

00:19:10.120 The deceitfulness of riches.

00:19:12.720 They are, man, we got to be really careful around the pursuit of money.

00:19:18.640 We've done a podcast about money and stewardship.

00:19:21.900 And so this is available for you guys.

00:19:23.520 I don't know which episode, but the culture says that if you have lots of money,

00:19:27.900 relax you're standing on thick ice the bible says hey if you got lots of money be careful

00:19:36.060 you're standing on thin ice and so you know even us and our journey i just am constantly trying to

00:19:43.160 steward what we have making sure that when opportunities to give come up we're we're

00:19:48.700 willing to steward the lord's money that way and so again men i want you to evaluate are you

00:19:54.860 striving more for materialism and wealth and platform and influence than you are for godliness

00:19:59.500 um verse 12 says fight the good fight um i love that it was just got pretty manly

00:20:09.140 um for that verse right there fight the good fight of faith lay hold on eternal life um i just think

00:20:16.340 that's really important because it's it's very proactive it's not passive timothy's like paul's

00:20:23.300 like, dude, this is a war. Go fight that good fight. Um, and lay hold, like just purpose yourself

00:20:33.100 and your posture and what you do and how you think about fighting that good fight. Don't be passive

00:20:38.720 about this stuff, but fight for it and be willing to stand on hard, truthful topics in the culture

00:20:47.260 that are unpopular and that are uncomfortable

00:20:51.860 or might cost you something.

00:20:53.740 This is actually a big opening chapter of this book

00:20:56.640 that I'm writing. 0.99

00:20:57.260 It's called Costless Christianity, 0.99

00:20:59.100 and it's about this.

00:21:01.720 Be willing to share the gospel.

00:21:05.180 Be willing to talk about your faith with people.

00:21:08.340 Be willing to stand for the protection of babies

00:21:12.420 for pro-life.

00:21:13.760 Be willing to stand in a loving way to explain and help people understand biblical sexuality.

00:21:22.140 Be willing to fight the good fight of the faith, even if it costs you something.

00:21:28.500 That's what I think this passage is trying to say.

00:21:31.420 The other thing I'd say is be willing to give your money to support others who are fighting.

00:21:35.400 um there's ministries and ministers and pastors and and missionaries and church planters all out

00:21:44.260 there in this war and man do you really need some of the other stuff i'm convicted of this all the

00:21:50.440 time how do we help other people doing especially because we're in ministry we're on the receiving

00:21:54.200 end but i'm still thinking about ways how do we give how do we do this and it's important to when

00:22:00.140 you have an eternal perspective that's where you'll go be bold be wise trade your worldly

00:22:05.540 focus for a kingdom focus this is what biblical men do yeah and so for the ladies our role

00:22:14.940 in helping our men is sometimes just to offer them counsel um sometimes just to be a sounding

00:22:23.520 board yes which is a lot in our marriage yeah um but one of the biggest roles that we have is

00:22:32.280 actually just to pray pray for your husband and if or the men in your life and if you're not praying

00:22:38.500 for your husband and father regularly you're actually missing out on the incredible power

00:22:44.740 you have in these men's lives um and another thing um i've seen so many men seek validation

00:22:51.220 and approval in their work like you were mentioning um simply because they just weren't getting it at

00:22:55.780 home so um to the women and you know myself included we could be uh we would be so surprised

00:23:05.140 at how much the effect we can have on our husband's confidence in christ by simply just showing

00:23:11.060 them respect and admiration at home um i mean how does it make you feel when i encourage you

00:23:17.360 or I'm grateful for the things that you're doing

00:23:19.960 or things like that.

00:23:21.000 It's such an incredible energy boost.

00:23:24.520 And I don't think there's a man's book on the planet

00:23:28.160 that hasn't acknowledged this truth

00:23:29.920 is that, man, if you have a woman at home that you love

00:23:32.540 that's cheering you on,

00:23:34.440 you're just fired up to go be a better man.

00:23:38.300 I mean, Chad, we just went to a marriage seminar

00:23:40.380 for one night just for our own marriage.

00:23:43.400 And he made this point.

00:23:44.780 He's like, man, when my wife tells me how great I am,

00:23:46.940 i just want to go out i could do anything he's like when she says i'm great i'm great yeah i'm

00:23:51.660 great it was awesome to hear and it's just something so simple yeah um but men men in

00:23:57.440 general just tend to typically really value that um and so when he's valued and honored by the most

00:24:03.020 important person in his life um he doesn't need to fight for it elsewhere um and then on the

00:24:08.800 contrary if he's not valued at home it's likely he will search for it elsewhere um so for me it's

00:24:16.400 simply affirming you um when you're leading our family spiritually um when you're laboring over

00:24:23.200 reconciling a relationship in the church which costs you a lot of time and energy um and then

00:24:29.880 i try to remind you that what what you're doing is is good work it's you're doing a good job it's

00:24:35.740 kingdom work um and i'm grateful for for your heart to restore those relationships and counsel

00:24:42.940 these people um and there are opportunities all around us so we just have to look for them yeah

00:24:50.000 yeah i think i think it's you know women have such a powerful role in a man's life and i think a lot

00:24:57.840 of women are just being told a different narrative as we mentioned in the in the women's episodes

00:25:02.940 on how to do that it's no you you don't need to to play this role go play this role or you don't 0.96

00:25:09.300 need to wait for your man you just go do it go out ahead of him and you know they're just this

00:25:14.760 the removal of these old traditional biblical paths we're trying to reinvent our own paths

00:25:23.600 to the good life and so yeah I just think it's a really important part oh okay you saw something

00:25:32.660 yeah so you're gonna go ahead Dale's gonna go ahead and talk about the role of a man as a

00:25:37.560 husband um and this teaching on ephesians is something that we go way more in depth in in our

00:25:43.000 six-week online program our marriage mentor program and we're about to actually open up

00:25:47.200 registration for that again within the next 60 days or so yeah um so if you'd like to be notified

00:25:52.240 about that enrollment go ahead and go to ultimate marriage.com forward slash notify and just put

00:25:58.440 your email and phone number in there and we'll keep you posted before we open it up to the public

00:26:02.600 and we're not going to spam you it's really just to notify you if you want to be notified if you

00:26:06.720 Yeah, if you want to be notified about the program when it opens up.

00:26:10.560 So, again, Dale's going to go into breakdown Ephesians 5 and talk about that.

00:26:16.080 But I'm going to go ahead and read that.

00:26:18.000 So, Ephesians 5, 25 through 28.

00:26:21.220 Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her,

00:26:25.900 that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

00:26:29.660 that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,

00:26:35.320 but that she should be holy and without blemish so husbands ought to love their own wives as their

00:26:41.260 own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself yeah so this passage actually continues on for

00:26:47.000 several more verses and it just before this it gave the instruction to the wives you know wives

00:26:52.420 submit to your own husbands ask the lord that passage is right above this but actually there's

00:26:57.020 three times more uh instruction for the men than the women so men you can go back and read the

00:27:02.960 further additional passages there that I didn't put in for just time's sake. I often believe that

00:27:11.000 people have already heard so many sermons on this, but I'm finding out that actually a lot of people

00:27:14.640 haven't heard a direct teaching on this passage of scripture. This passage of scripture is so

00:27:21.300 important. I can't tell you how important it is. It is not only referencing that, revealing the

00:27:29.020 mystery that Christ and the bride, that the church is Christ's bride for the first, you know, real

00:27:36.440 clear time in scripture. But it's also telling us as husbands how to model our marriages based off

00:27:46.400 of that relationship. And so there's so much depth here. It's a million miles deep. And I've heard

00:27:53.140 several messages from several renowned pastors. I've read books on this, and I've put together

00:27:58.820 over the years my own take on this that I think really functions for usually a demographic that

00:28:06.100 relates to our age and understanding, because I've heard men talk about this in later times,

00:28:11.480 and it's hard to relate with. So I'm hoping that it's helpful for you guys.

00:28:16.940 Right before that, you know, it talks about the duty of a wife is to be submissive to her

00:28:21.340 own husband as to the lord um the right the biblical right of a man is to lead and to kind 0.78

00:28:31.980 of command the way in the family that is evident uh throughout the passages of the new testament

00:28:37.620 and even also seen in the old testament the role of the husband however is to love

00:28:43.040 and you would think that this would be a more natural inclination for the wife and it would

00:28:49.220 be given to her but no that it's it's actually god says no the role of the husband is to love

00:28:54.860 and the apostle knew because he's writing to the holy spirit that love would protect the wife from

00:29:00.900 the husband abusing his headship and his leadership if you put love in there you don't need to fear

00:29:07.520 you know perfect love casts out fear this idea is that a woman can actually sit and rest under her

00:29:14.400 husband in submission without fear because his duty and role is to love her. And so it really

00:29:21.460 cancels out any threats if you're actually fulfilling your role. The key phrase here is

00:29:27.300 just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Love your wives just as Christ loved

00:29:33.940 the church and gave himself up for her. Men, I want you to pay attention to this real quick.

00:29:39.320 This statement is that Christ displayed his headship by dying for her.

00:29:45.660 He died for his wife.

00:29:47.060 That's how he displayed his headship.

00:29:48.540 It's sacrificial, as I talked about before.

00:29:52.280 He's not oppressive.

00:29:54.600 He's not, his burden is light.

00:29:59.120 Jesus' whole thing is that he's not here as a slave master.

00:30:02.520 He's actually here to remove us from slavery and our bondage to sin.

00:30:07.700 And so we get to model these things in our family.

00:30:11.700 The whole New Testament is really about this truth.

00:30:15.340 And it doesn't mean that we don't have like any ruling or authority or direction or leadership in our home.

00:30:22.140 It's just a free-for-all.

00:30:23.600 No, there is leadership required.

00:30:27.400 However, it's not oppressive.

00:30:29.440 It's not a slave master running this.

00:30:31.600 It's not a direct, rude, controlling manner of leadership.

00:30:37.220 And secondly, I want you to note that Jesus is not passive with his bride.

00:30:42.620 And we know that the default of men is to be passive.

00:30:45.780 That's why a lot of men like to play video games.

00:30:47.500 It's a way to check out.

00:30:48.440 That's why a lot of men like to watch TV.

00:30:50.040 Again, it's a way to check out.

00:30:51.940 Passivity is the default in man.

00:30:53.460 It starts back with Adam and Eve.

00:30:55.800 Where were you, Adam?

00:30:57.420 He was right there being passive,

00:31:00.420 not even worried about what his wife was doing,

00:31:04.240 taking the lead in that relationship.

00:31:07.220 he's also, he's intentional. He's committed. Men, are you intentional with your wife? Are you

00:31:13.220 committed with your wife? He's engaged. He's obsessed with the spiritual health of his wife.

00:31:20.940 Obsessed. And what I love to look in the mirror and say, Dale, you're doing 100%.

00:31:26.420 I do try often to make sure that Veronica's spiritual life is good. And it's hard because,

00:31:34.980 man, this world is rough on our ladies and it's rough on us men, but we need to prioritize 0.54

00:31:41.060 caring for our wives in a sacrificial manner. And so why did Christ give himself up for

00:31:49.900 the church? This is an important question because it says in that passage, husbands love your wives

00:31:56.240 just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. So why did Christ give himself up?

00:32:00.720 it's that we might, the bride of Christ, might have salvation.

00:32:05.840 He gave himself up that we might be saved. 0.72

00:32:10.780 And so for a man to love his wife and to walk out biblical manhood

00:32:16.720 as Christ loved the church is to labor and sacrifice for the salvation of your wife.

00:32:25.560 We're to sacrifice our needs for her needs.

00:32:31.780 And it means that your days should be focused on building a life that saves, edifies, cleanses your wife's soul.

00:32:42.580 And so there's got to be time, margin put into your day.

00:32:45.840 We try to have, we have probably a couple meaningful conversations a week, but usually at night I see what's going on.

00:32:52.460 I just made a sheet for you on passages that she needs to remember

00:32:58.420 as she's walking through the day.

00:33:02.000 I've created a study guide or a quiet time sheet for Veronica and I to use.

00:33:07.240 I'm just trying to build a life and some structure, and it's hard.

00:33:12.420 We fail at it too.

00:33:15.260 But it's definitely something that you purpose to do.

00:33:22.060 yes you you're intentional about it yes and so i i just want the men to make this a priority if

00:33:29.200 it's not already a priority in your life and even if you're single guys it's praying for that woman

00:33:34.460 in your life make that a priority of your prayers um your bride's spiritual well-being

00:33:40.540 is is is a priority and if it's can your wife say that that's true of you right now

00:33:46.120 that her spiritual well-being is one of the priorities of your life.

00:33:51.380 If not, then that's a problem.

00:33:52.740 You might want to ask her that question and see what she says.

00:33:56.540 Now, practically speaking, I think that really what it's trying to teach

00:34:01.060 is that you're bound to live in a way that doesn't interfere with her salvation,

00:34:07.580 that doesn't interfere with her relationship with God,

00:34:10.320 doesn't hinder her relationship with God.

00:34:14.000 You're actually to furnish, to create, offer the facilities, the environment, the life that she might need to enable her to partake in just that worship and relationship with God.

00:34:27.840 We've been trying to do this, and we're not doing the greatest job, but we're doing it, trying to give Veronica a time in the morning to do her quiet time.

00:34:35.260 And, you know, we're getting a couple days a week, making sure that she's, if she doesn't get it then, she'll try to get it at night.

00:34:40.280 But I'm trying to watch the kids so that she can do that.

00:34:43.280 And so, men, find a way to help your wife get closer to God.

00:34:48.540 A quote that we often say is that the strongest marriages are two people who love God more than they love each other.

00:34:55.020 You want to nurture that relationship with God for your wife as a man.

00:35:00.940 And what it's saying here is that if you're—oh, I'm going to go back here real quick because I want to make sure I hit a point.

00:35:11.060 You want to limit any obstacles in her way.

00:35:13.280 and you know what our obstacles sometimes you know the kids can be an obstacle in terms of like 0.59

00:35:19.120 i got to make some time for for her to get there uh sometimes it's she can become the obstacle

00:35:25.180 as a woman you have to lead her going hey you know what you've been putting a little bit too 0.99

00:35:29.560 more too much on your plate i think and what do you think about that and hey maybe we should

00:35:32.760 is there anything that we can take off because it seems like you're you're actually i'm watching

00:35:37.820 you as a, as not just your husband, but a brother in Christ, it looks like you're compromising your

00:35:43.600 relationship with God because you're just getting too busy. And I think that we should change that

00:35:48.240 right now. That, that kind of leadership is critical. And you're also to set an example,

00:35:54.220 men, set the example in your home of what it means to follow Jesus and to counsel her if she

00:36:01.940 needs counsel um to make sure that she knows that and that to give her a sense that you would

00:36:07.740 have the answers because you're studied and rightly dividing the word of truth because you

00:36:13.760 prioritized that in your own life and if you didn't have the answer she could still come to

00:36:18.340 you and you would come back to her with an answer later on maybe not right in that moment but you

00:36:24.540 go research the scriptures and come up with one yeah what a confidence and safety that brings to

00:36:29.520 woman and um and uh that you want to let her know you know that no sacrifice will be too great

00:36:38.480 to promote the spiritual health of her and the family because if there's a sacrifice i just can't

00:36:44.520 do that that's like jesus getting off the cross yeah i'll do a lot of stuff but i'm just i'm gonna

00:36:48.120 get off this cross right here no it's that to the extent of your own life that's how far you get to

00:36:55.820 sacrifice for your wife's and your family's spiritual well-being um verse i'm almost done

00:37:01.440 here uh verse 26 through 27 says that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water

00:37:08.280 by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle

00:37:13.060 or any such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish um gosh there's so much here i

00:37:20.840 could teach on this for an hour um you're you're not her moral partner men that's not who you are

00:37:27.580 as a biblical man is not just a moral partner um you're not just her bible study pal um you're not

00:37:34.760 her christian friend that's that you're just not just you're not even just a uh a brother in christ

00:37:41.980 when you're married you're not christian roommates you're christian roommates yeah outside of the

00:37:46.220 Holy Spirit and Christ himself, you are her number one source for spiritual growth. And the Bible

00:37:52.960 absolutely declares that in these passages here. And if, you know, for example, if there's a pastor

00:37:59.960 or another man that is pouring more spiritually into your wife than you are, that's a problem.

00:38:08.320 And I've said this before on the podcast, but if the, by that I mean, if the one hour per week

00:38:15.900 that you and your family go to church

00:38:17.180 is more than what you're doing

00:38:20.240 the whole week,

00:38:21.640 that's a problem.

00:38:23.960 Men, you need to step up 0.91

00:38:25.600 and lead your wife and family.

00:38:27.580 That is a part of what it means

00:38:29.640 to be a biblical man. 0.96

00:38:30.900 I'm not interested in manhood. 0.88

00:38:33.300 What does it mean to be a biblical man? 0.77

00:38:36.220 And it means that there's, 0.96

00:38:38.740 she's your territory.

00:38:40.180 She's your priority.

00:38:41.340 She's your,

00:38:42.680 you're one with her,

00:38:44.600 you know,

00:38:45.320 and you're responsible to make sure that you're the number one source as a human being that's

00:38:50.300 pouring into her um and the last thing i'm going to say is um our our role as husbands and and men

00:38:58.840 is to build up our wives to be holy which is separate they're going to look differently

00:39:03.840 they're going to walk differently they're going to be peculiar people are going to want to know

00:39:06.900 why they look that way what how they've been able to grow and mature that way mature uh healthy

00:39:13.660 woman of God and you know what I look at a man and I go cool great nice to see you I want to see

00:39:22.220 your wife because when I see a wife who is a radiant cherished loved valued submissive

00:39:30.840 confident beautiful woman I go man that's an incredible man right there because it's it's

00:39:40.880 pretty evident a lot of men they are viewed in the business world as great leaders and they're

00:39:46.280 on their third divorce and i go i'm just not interested in that because it shows that you

00:39:51.980 you well sure you were skilled in some certain areas i've made lots of money i've i've gone

00:39:58.060 that down that road made millions of dollars um i was a terrible husband i was a terrible

00:40:04.600 biblical man it wasn't until i realized wow i'm utterly failing in the bible's description of

00:40:13.360 what it means to be a godly man i'm winning and what it means to be a cultural man totally crushing

00:40:20.440 it over here and that's why it's so important to understand this um it's a reflection on us

00:40:26.660 if our wives are not thriving yeah and sadly i've seen so many christian women prevent their

00:40:37.180 christian husbands from leading because they'll just do it for them especially in today's culture 0.78

00:40:41.480 where um the feminist movement's really pushing women to to control and to lead and not to follow 0.74

00:40:49.540 their husbands take the authority and so uh we have to remember that a man's fleshly default is 0.88

00:40:57.740 passivity um so when a wife jumps in and solely leads the family and makes all the spiritual 0.87

00:41:03.320 decisions and prays for all the meals and is the only one who reads the bible to the kids

00:41:07.760 is the only one who prays over their um over them at bedtime we have a few problems here yeah uh the

00:41:14.380 first one would be that you're establishing yourself in the eyes of your children as the

00:41:18.980 spiritual leader and also like if if you have a son you're you're being their example of what to

00:41:27.600 look for in a wife and hopefully that's a wife that wants to be led by her husband and not take

00:41:35.840 the reins and vice versa with if you have a daughter you're training your child if you're 0.83

00:41:40.480 acting this way you're training your daughter up to be a the spiritual head and that's just not

00:41:46.220 clarify that these things aren't necessarily bad to do in themselves you read the bible to the kids

00:41:51.200 too right um it's just that if you're the only one and you're like actually pushing yourself

00:41:58.680 into those places or if i if i am reading the bible to the kids and they ask me a question i'm

00:42:02.320 like why don't we go ask dad that yes i'll defer back to you we're also talking about a christian

00:42:06.960 marriage we're not talking about if you're the only as a mother the only christian in the home

00:42:12.980 then this is actually your role to do correct um and then another issue would be that you're

00:42:21.540 removing the pressure off of your you're relieving the pressure off of your husband to perform his

00:42:26.880 role um so and then first peter three one through two i feel like we read the scripture almost every

00:42:33.200 podcast yeah wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands that even if some do not obey the

00:42:38.900 word they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste

00:42:43.700 conduct accompanied by fear so instead of asserting yourself ladies as the leader start asking your 0.91

00:42:51.240 husband how he would like you to educate the children about God and start asking him with a

00:42:56.700 humble heart that's important have a humble heart about what certain passages in the Bible mean

00:43:02.700 um and this is a powerful way to motivate your husband um and to help get him into the word

00:43:08.800 i mean veronica's done this with me it's so honoring um asking me like what do you want

00:43:15.320 the kids to know what do you want the kids to learn um what are you seeing in the kids like

00:43:19.080 where should we go with the kids like it's just showing presenting this kind of

00:43:24.820 non-competitive spirit but like actually wanting to be or if i see an issue in one of our children

00:43:30.820 that needs to be addressed and I don't necessarily know the scriptural backing on how to address it

00:43:35.240 I'll ask you I'm like hey so-and-so is really struggling with this and I've seen them do this

00:43:39.900 this and this I know that's not right I know that's not biblical but what how can I talk to

00:43:46.400 them about this better when you're working and I'm with it with the kids yeah um so yeah all of that

00:43:53.320 humble heart um it's a powerful way to motivate your husband just by asking him um but don't

00:44:01.760 scold him and don't tell him all the things that he's doing wrong and he's doing he's not doing a

00:44:08.120 good job at pray for him and let your conduct with god and your submissiveness be the shining

00:44:14.920 light in your home and watch the holy spirit change your husband's heart yeah it says that

00:44:19.500 They can be one without a word.

00:44:21.160 Like that's the promise of scripture.

00:44:22.840 Do you just get to believe it or not?

00:44:24.280 I mean.

00:44:25.700 Are you fighting the fleshly battle with your husband?

00:44:29.480 Or are you going to fight the spiritual battle in prayer?

00:44:32.500 Yeah.

00:44:32.760 And again, you can be questioning.

00:44:35.140 You know, it's a balance.

00:44:36.580 And it's hard to go like, don't apply this stuff like carte blanche across the whole thing.

00:44:41.880 There's just things that you got to just use discernment and use wisdom.

00:44:45.440 But it's the heart posture and looking at these scriptures and learning to live by them.

00:44:49.500 um they're they're there for our education they are so good the word of god does not return void

00:44:56.900 um bottom line is that why do we need men to walk out their role like why do we need men

00:45:04.760 and women to walk out their biblical roles like why is this so important um it's the same reason

00:45:11.700 that we all need to 0.71

00:45:15.940 fulfill these duties as Christians,

00:45:18.920 it's for the sake of the gospel.

00:45:22.340 It's for the sake of building God's kingdom.

00:45:25.720 Like, that's what we're doing.

00:45:27.480 There is a way to fight this fight,

00:45:30.260 to turn the scriptures,

00:45:32.040 it's the 2nd Corinthians,

00:45:33.040 it says that our ministry

00:45:34.800 is a ministry of reconciliation.

00:45:37.560 That's what Paul tells us our ministry is.

00:45:38.900 We are here as ambassadors of God.

00:45:42.460 That means that we're not just messengers.

00:45:44.180 We're lawful ambassadors of God

00:45:45.800 to bring reconciliation to God through Christ.

00:45:50.080 That's what we're here to do.

00:45:51.380 We're here to reconcile people,

00:45:54.560 a rebellious people,

00:45:55.740 to God the Father through Christ.

00:45:59.400 And we get to go,

00:46:00.740 we've been reconciled

00:46:01.820 and now we want to help you be reconciled

00:46:04.500 and to deal with that bondage of sin.

00:46:07.100 This is what we're here to do.

00:46:08.900 The Great Commission, the purpose is reconciliation.

00:46:12.740 Not to be necessarily reconciled with Christ.

00:46:15.300 Christ came to reconcile man with God, the Father.

00:46:19.900 And so it's important that we don't lose the vision or the why behind walking out a role.

00:46:27.300 I'm not just telling you to do this for behavior modification's sake and that you'll have a better life.

00:46:31.100 No, it's about kingdom vision.

00:46:33.960 and that we are building something here

00:46:36.520 as living stones, a part of God's building.

00:46:40.680 And we have a role and a purpose and a call

00:46:43.200 and there is no better way than God's way.

00:46:46.740 Every time we try to go invent a new way,

00:46:49.280 I just watch it utterly fall apart for people.

00:46:52.340 And so I'm going to leave you with a verse in John chapter 17

00:47:00.480 because the last thing I want to draw attention to is unity.

00:47:03.960 men and women are not to be competing.

00:47:06.180 We're complementarian.

00:47:07.120 And if there's division in your home,

00:47:09.740 man, what a testament to Christ

00:47:13.800 that he's not true.

00:47:15.900 He's not real.

00:47:17.300 He's not loving.

00:47:18.980 If the people in your own home are divided,

00:47:22.640 mom and dad are competing,

00:47:23.900 male and female roles are competing,

00:47:27.320 it's a divisive perspective 0.70

00:47:30.980 from an outside looking in.

00:47:33.460 And it's very dangerous, and I'm going to tell you why.

00:47:36.000 John chapter 17, this is called the High Priestly Prayer.

00:47:38.700 It's Jesus praying just moments before he's taken to be crucified.

00:47:43.140 He says,

00:47:44.940 That they all may be one as you, Father.

00:47:48.280 He said, I pray, Father, that they all may be one as you, Father, are in me and I in you.

00:47:52.960 That they also may be one in us.

00:47:55.080 Now, why?

00:47:56.280 That the world may believe that you sent me.

00:47:58.580 the world's

00:48:01.000 the vehicle

00:48:03.480 in which the world will believe

00:48:05.940 that God sent Christ

00:48:07.980 to redeem the world

00:48:08.980 is through our unity

00:48:10.660 when we're divided male and female

00:48:13.280 it's evidence that

00:48:15.640 that God didn't send Jesus

00:48:17.720 division is dangerous

00:48:20.000 and in our roles

00:48:22.060 we need to look at them

00:48:23.720 what the scriptures say

00:48:24.400 because they're such a beautiful design

00:48:25.800 and we want to embrace that

00:48:27.860 so hopefully that was helpful that's all we got for you today there's so much there's some great

00:48:36.360 resources on biblical manhood that you can get out there some good books

00:48:40.800 and so i just hopefully you guys if you want to learn more about it you can

00:48:44.780 but again thank you guys for listening today a couple things that we mentioned is

00:48:50.360 our ultimate marriage program it we've turned it into a six-week program it's packed with just

00:48:57.280 six 45-minute teaching videos,

00:49:01.580 PDF challenge checklists,

00:49:04.940 a great resource online for community.

00:49:08.600 And we dive deep into

00:49:10.560 what does it mean to be a biblical marriage?

00:49:12.560 And again, we're opening that up

00:49:13.860 if you want to go be notified about that.

00:49:15.620 It's just ultimatemarriage.com forward slash notify.

00:49:18.980 And again, just keep an eye out for

00:49:21.720 and please pray for me writing that new book,

00:49:24.240 Real Christianity.

00:49:24.960 um lastly if you guys would like to leave a review for the podcast we would appreciate that

00:49:29.380 and um we don't know what we're talking about next week we'll see well it'll be a surprise

00:49:35.420 yeah we haven't done a q a for a while maybe we'll do that all right so thanks for joining

00:49:39.840 us today today guys and uh we will see you next week

Dale Partridge - April 03, 2019

Real Christianity #39： What is a Biblical Man？ Part 2

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