Dale Partridge - Real Christianity #45： How to Stay Consistent with Bible and Prayer Time

00:00:00.320 Welcome to Real Christianity. Today, we are answering two questions.

00:00:04.760 Answering two questions. We do these, I don't know, a couple times a month, I guess.

00:00:08.700 Maybe every, maybe one time a month or something like that.

00:00:11.200 Let's start over.

00:00:13.340 Just threw me off.

00:00:13.940 You got something in your teeth.

00:00:16.120 Okay.

00:00:17.080 Okay.

00:00:18.060 Three, two, one. 0.94

00:00:21.080 Welcome to Real Christianity. Today, we are talking... 0.93

00:00:24.260 Answering two questions.

00:00:25.080 Okay, I'm sorry.

00:00:26.580 You always stop for me to...

00:00:28.300 I know.

00:00:28.840 ...talk there.

00:00:30.000 three two one welcome to real christianity today we are talking about

00:00:36.160 you're answering two questions jackson today we are okay that's all you say okay

00:00:43.620 here we go three two one welcome to real christianity today we are answering two questions

00:00:52.080 two questions we try to do this at least once a month where we answer questions that are coming

00:00:57.440 in. Sometimes I'll put something out on Instagram. And actually that one time I did, I got like

00:01:02.360 300 questions. And so I still reference that back. I told you, I was like, you're going to

00:01:06.880 get blown up. Be careful. So these are two of them that I think are consistent. Like lots of people

00:01:13.640 ask these questions. Yeah. We generally try and answer the questions that people ask us the most.

00:01:18.480 Yeah. So today we're going to be answering a question on how to stay consistent in your

00:01:22.280 prayer and quiet time, and then also answer the question for the singles. How do you make it

00:01:29.200 through being single? And any tips on kind of making it being single if you want to be married?

00:01:35.220 And so we're going to get both of those today. And I'm going to hit the first one. Veronica is

00:01:41.240 going to hit the second one. Veronica does also add her opinion on the first one once I'm through

00:01:47.420 the beginning of it. So let's start off and read these questions. You know what we forgot to do

00:01:52.740 the last episode is to mention if you guys haven't left a review yet. I'm so good at that. And I

00:01:58.980 always forget, or I never forget to do that. Anyways, before we jump into this, guys, if you

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00:02:24.080 tap the stars you don't even need to write anything but if you just tap the stars it would

00:02:27.860 just mean a lot you could also find these podcasts on our website now at relearnchurch.org forward

00:02:34.280 slash listen you could get all the information about our podcast the video the audio the notes

00:02:40.260 the scripture references, all that is available at the website. You could also find the links to

00:02:45.920 Google Play, to Spotify, and other places that you can listen to the show. Okay, now we can go.

00:02:51.640 All right, first question. How do I stay focused on building my relationship with God? I find

00:02:56.560 myself being inconsistent in my prayer time and quiet time. Any tips on how I can get better at

00:03:01.440 this? Well, first off, welcome to the problem that many Christians have dealt with. I think 0.88

00:03:09.040 the answer that I'm going to offer is hopefully, at least for my own journey and your journey on

00:03:15.000 this. Let's start with Galatians. I'm going to give you a couple scriptures to start off with.

00:03:20.060 Galatians 5.17. It says, for the desires of the flesh are against the spirit and the desires of

00:03:26.000 the spirit are against the flesh. For these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the

00:03:31.660 things that you want to do that's kind of a crazy passage right go like my flesh and my

00:03:38.140 spirit are at war is what it's teaching and they're against each other so true i can think

00:03:46.680 of just so many circumstances in life like lord why did you make me this this way and it's like

00:03:52.760 he wants us to choose to follow him and and so to choose to to walk in the spirit and so your flesh

00:04:01.320 is never going to want to do your quiet time. That's not a thing that your flesh is going to

00:04:06.740 desire to go sit in the word of God or to submit yourself in prayer. That's not something that your

00:04:11.260 flesh is going to want to do. So don't expect your flesh to want to do that. Especially when

00:04:15.180 you're just starting out. Especially then. Yeah. But your flesh is, in my opinion, your flesh is

00:04:20.820 never going to want to do it. It's your spirit that starts to put your flesh into subjection

00:04:25.780 that you can start really enjoying and having to discipline doing that. But you're right. In the

00:04:31.000 beginning you're still learning how to put your flesh into subjection of your spirit it's a

00:04:35.380 maturity i guess that that it goes with um and uh our flesh's desire is laziness passivity

00:04:44.340 convenience comfort for you pleasure that that's the things that our flesh wants not disciplined

00:04:52.100 focused time with god where you're going to submit to the hard things of scripture

00:04:57.320 and we live in a culture that glorifies busyness everyone's so busy you need to be busy if you're

00:05:02.860 not busy then you're nobody like our culture caters to that and trust me dale and i are busy

00:05:08.340 people we've got we have plenty of things we can fill our time with but this takes priority

00:05:15.680 yeah you don't go and say that jesus christ is lord and priority but then throw him on the back

00:05:20.840 bird are. If he's priority, you'll make his word priority in the morning or whatever time of the

00:05:27.160 day we do in the morning and at night. That's kind of our system. I'm going to give you another

00:05:32.560 scripture, 1 Corinthians 9, 27. This is Paul saying, but I discipline my body and keep it

00:05:38.880 under control, lest after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified. Paul's saying, man,

00:05:44.700 I put my flesh into subjection of my spirit. I discipline my body. And so again, even Paul does

00:05:50.780 this stuff. You know, there's, there's things, Paul talks about in Romans, the things that I want

00:05:54.700 to do, I don't do. The things that I don't do, I want to do. Like he's, he's in the same dilemma.

00:05:58.840 I want to read the word of God. I want to get in prayer. And for some reason, I don't want to do

00:06:02.160 it. But the things that I do want to do, I don't like, it's just this back and forth battle in

00:06:05.500 your mind. And so it's very common. In Matthew 26, 40 through 41, Jesus says, he says, then he

00:06:17.000 came to the disciples and found them sleeping and said to Peter, what exclamation point? Could you

00:06:24.620 not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is

00:06:33.100 willing, but the flesh is weak. A lot of people misinterpret this passage of scripture thinking

00:06:39.240 that Jesus is saying that his spirit is willing, but his flesh is weak. I think when you read the

00:06:45.460 context of the passage and i checked several commentaries like uh i'm actually going to read

00:06:50.100 you john calvin's commentary and that's not what's what it's saying jesus is saying to them

00:06:56.780 the disciples that their spirit is willing but your flesh is weak you keep falling asleep

00:07:01.680 i'm here in the garden of gethsemane sweating blood getting ready to go to the cross i asked

00:07:07.120 you to come be with me and you keep falling asleep to pray and and so he's he's saying the

00:07:12.760 spirit is weak, but your flesh is, or your spirit is willing, but your flesh is weak. And so I want

00:07:17.240 to read you real quick, just John Calvin's, um, and I'm not like a big Calvinist guy, uh, but I

00:07:26.860 appreciate John Calvin's commentary. So I'm going to read it. Um, I just say that because sometimes

00:07:32.300 people go, Oh, John Calvin, this Dale must be a Calvinist. That's not what I'm saying. Um,

00:07:37.020 And he writes on this scripture, the commentary on this passage,

00:07:41.040 that he may not terrify and discourage his disciples.

00:07:45.320 He gently reproves their slothfulness and adds consolation and good ground of hope.

00:07:51.480 And first, he reminds them that though they are earnestly desirous to do what is right,

00:07:57.180 still they must contend with the weakness of the flesh.

00:08:00.720 And therefore, that prayer is never unnecessary.

00:08:04.440 Wherefore, this admonition relates properly to believers who, being regenerated by the Spirit of God, are desirous to do what is right, but still labor under the weakness of the flesh. 0.79

00:08:16.440 For though the grace of the Spirit is vigorous in them, they are weak according to the flesh.

00:08:21.340 And though the disciples alone have their weakness here pointed out to them, yet since what Christ says of them applies equally to all, we ought to draw from it a general rule.

00:08:31.440 that it is our duty to keep diligent watch by praying

00:08:35.500 for what we do not yet possess the power of the spirit

00:08:39.760 in such a measure as not to fall frequently

00:08:42.320 through the weakness of our flesh.

00:08:44.680 And so I think John Calvin's going,

00:08:46.840 hey, this is a constant battle with your flesh.

00:08:51.160 It's weak and we need to constantly lean on prayer.

00:08:56.300 And so if you're struggling to stay consistent,

00:08:59.440 you got to get into the on your face and on your knees and go lord give me strength draw me and

00:09:05.680 fill me with your holy spirit so that i can walk in the spirit and desire the things that you have

00:09:10.880 for me yeah and if it if it helps being consistent is hard for us too but we do prioritize it it is

00:09:17.740 a priority for us um we are consistent um but yeah our flesh necessarily um will struggle with it

00:09:25.620 Yeah. If you're tired, you know, like the kids are hard, your brain's overwhelmed.

00:09:31.180 I studied all day.

00:09:32.800 Yeah. Things like that. So, but we, but we do prioritize it and we are consistent.

00:09:36.880 Not because of our own self will, but because the Lord has met us each time we are faithful and seeking him.

00:09:42.420 And in these moments of unity with the spirit, we're, we're so rewarded.

00:09:47.580 It feels so rewarding that we begin to see the value and the enjoyment of our fellowship time with God.

00:09:53.560 yeah um and dale's actually put together a really great quiet time routine um that we're actually

00:10:00.000 going to be turning into a journal later this year but until then um start in prayer as dale said

00:10:05.160 read a chapter a day um just do something keep it simple um in a good bible uh bring a notebook

00:10:11.680 write down things that pop out to you um things to be praying for things that the lord is revealing

00:10:17.320 to you um and ask the lord to reveal um to you his truth um in proverbs 8 17 it says i love those who

00:10:27.360 love me and those who seek me diligently find me and then uh another quote that i wanted to share

00:10:32.760 was um an aw tozer quote and he says um to have found god and still and to still pursue him

00:10:40.620 is the soul's great form of love yeah i think this is a really important i want to just stop

00:10:46.720 on these two things that you just said here is that one is that proverbs 8 17 says those who

00:10:52.360 seek me diligently find me that's a theme throughout the scriptures is like diligence

00:10:58.000 diligence yeah um and i think it's uh second timothy 2 15 be diligent to show yourself approved

00:11:06.020 to god a worker who does not need to be ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth and that that

00:11:10.480 idea is be diligent to show yourself approved to God that you're not a worker in his kingdom that

00:11:17.060 needs to be ashamed, but you've actually taken the time to study and you're rightly dividing the word

00:11:22.140 of truth because you understand it. And so that's something I just, I, um, I believe that's second

00:11:27.460 Timothy two 15. Um, okay. Question number two, I'll read this one and then Veronica is going to answer

00:11:32.140 it. I'm so tired of being single and I really want to be married. We hear this a lot. Any 0.67

00:11:40.100 tips on how to deal with this season or end this season of singleness i'm assuming

00:11:47.300 well first off i'm sorry i know that waiting period is so hard uh i can only imagine how tough

00:11:54.840 it is um for both men and women and then um over the years dale has really talked a lot about this

00:12:01.820 and how it's become a huge problem um and quite complicated today um but single people generally

00:12:09.140 have three things working against them first uh the church isn't teaching men how to be biblical

00:12:14.600 men and women how to be biblical women um instead the church is adopting the egalitarian view of

00:12:20.140 gender that has been pushed by the culture and uh gone are the days where teenage girls desire to

00:12:27.560 grow up and to get married and to have children and become a mother and a wife and like think

00:12:31.680 about how like rare that is i don't think i've met anybody i mean in our community we've have

00:12:37.640 a few families that we've seen but it's yeah it's not a common thing where you get like a 13 year

00:12:43.500 old girl or 15 or 16 year old girl that's excited to yeah just to get married they're just like no

00:12:50.760 i don't want to get married i don't have kids yeah um but yeah instead the girls today grow up and

00:12:57.300 they desire a career and maybe want to have maybe one kid when they're 35 um yeah this way of viewing 1.00

00:13:06.420 womanhood which is really just fueled by the feminism movement has removed the need for a 0.99

00:13:11.280 man to provide and to protect a woman um in today's world she can provide and protect herself

00:13:16.500 um and then ultimately the church is not forming a forming biblical gender roles in the hearts of

00:13:23.000 young people and we're seeing this as a result yeah and i just think about this you know what

00:13:27.760 you're talking about here is is that as a man if if if culture at large is saying

00:13:35.160 you know women can provide and take care of themselves but for times past like a man would

00:13:43.160 grow up and look for a woman to care for like his the woman's dad would care for her until 1.00

00:13:51.120 he handed her off to her husband that was the idea of giving her away because her dad would 0.93

00:13:57.660 provide for her and protect her and lead her until the moment that the husband took over that role 0.97

00:14:04.400 and now it's like the women just kind of do that on their own they don't need a man

00:14:10.200 you know i ain't no need no man what's that what's that a couple years ago babe anyways so um

00:14:19.060 yeah this idea is hurting it's hurting the men the men are literally going you know what what's

00:14:27.120 the purpose of me um trying to provide or protect for these women and i'm not saying that that it's

00:14:33.400 all the women's fault because we're going to talk about the men next but that is an interesting

00:14:36.920 point for sure oh is it me yep okay second um i guess i'll talk about the men because i'm a man

00:14:41.880 uh the men's side we have a porn epidemic so this is the second thing so first thing was

00:14:47.500 biblical roles men and women you're dealing with and then the second thing you're going against

00:14:51.940 these poor situations for these singles is that the men have a porn epidemic problem. 95% of men

00:14:59.720 outside of the church and 60% of men inside the church are looking at porn on a regular basis.

00:15:03.980 You go outside in the street and you look at a guy, nine out of 10 of them are looking at

00:15:08.100 pornography on a regular basis. Inside the church, you look across the crowd and six out of 10 guys

00:15:13.620 are looking at porn on a regular basis. It's like 40% for the women. It's really, really sad and 0.96

00:15:18.600 really gross um and what this is doing is actually removing for the men god's natural tool for marital

00:15:27.480 acceleration when you want to have that when you have that sexual desire that's good that's from

00:15:33.800 the lord but you continue to release that sexual desire in front of a computer where's the desire

00:15:41.300 the desire is lost to go pursue a woman the motivation the motivation yeah the fuel the

00:15:47.660 way to get there, you just kind of put it somewhere else. And that's a big deal. That's a

00:15:53.520 big cause of this singleness epidemic. You know, why get married when I could date around, stay free

00:15:59.000 and, you know, have masturbation at complete freedom on my own time? That is, to be frank, 0.85

00:16:08.800 what's happening in a large case in the church. That's how these guys can remain single for so

00:16:16.120 long. Because if they were holy men not looking to commit sexual immorality, they would be very

00:16:28.460 motivated to start speaking to women and start getting in a relationship. And that's, again,

00:16:32.960 I believe God's design for it. It's just one part of it. And again, I really want to warn the men,

00:16:38.720 many men are going to stand, these men that call themselves Christians, they're going to stand 1.00

00:16:42.740 before the Lord and be turned away because of their unrepentant hearts and how they made porn

00:16:46.940 the Lord of their life and not Jesus. And so I just, I'm very particular about this conversation

00:16:53.400 around porn because I know how destructive it is. And there's an article that we'll tell you about

00:16:59.020 when we close the session that you guys can go and take a read on our website. The third thing

00:17:04.740 that you're dealing with in the single epidemic, from my perspective, is this extended adolescence

00:17:10.320 in men. First, adolescence is an invention of the 20th century. Before the 20th century,

00:17:18.880 you were either a boy or a man. There was no like middle ground area. Adolescence is this way

00:17:25.220 of the culture to sanitize adult boyhood. It's a word to kind of make us be more comfortable

00:17:34.620 with adult boyhood. But the reality is that's what it is, is that men are remaining boys for

00:17:41.500 long periods of time. They're not becoming men. Moving out, growing a beard and paying your rent

00:17:47.500 doesn't necessarily make you a man. And we like to believe that those are like, oh, I got a job

00:17:52.840 and I moved out. Now I'm a man. Providing for yourself is a big part of it. It's an aspect.

00:17:57.640 It's an aspect of it. Yeah. But manhood is much more complicated than that. We actually did a

00:18:01.740 series on manhood, if you haven't listened to that as well. The average age right now for men

00:18:07.420 moving out of their parents' house is between 25 and 30. I heard the age was like 28 a few years

00:18:12.680 ago. That was several years ago. Yeah. And the average age of marriage for a man right now is

00:18:16.760 29 and a half years. And so it's really sad. So you combine feminism and kind of remove the need

00:18:24.240 to really care for a woman because they care for themselves. You combine that with pornography 1.00

00:18:30.180 and combine that with boyhood adult boyhood or extended adolescence and you get singleness

00:18:37.860 epidemic that's really what's going on in my opinion it's I think it's way more complicated

00:18:42.140 even than that but you're seeing this in the church and in the culture yeah and in terms of

00:18:48.500 practical help on the issue we have a few tips so tip number one Dale and I are all about online

00:18:56.120 dating all about it some reason christians are so afraid of it and i think if you're truly longing

00:19:02.340 for someone and you just haven't been able to find that person in your community or through

00:19:06.160 friends of friends um use every tool available to you obviously use wisdom and discernment in

00:19:11.800 who you're going to be meeting up with um but yeah we're not against online we have a couple

00:19:17.100 in our church who met online dating yeah it's awesome they're married now married have a baby

00:19:21.620 um point two um when you go on dates do it with married couples this actually helps to remove any

00:19:29.800 fear of marriage um is you have the opportunity to see it played out in the lives of your married

00:19:35.200 friends um number three don't date somebody unless your goal is to be getting married

00:19:42.280 if you can't see yourself i mean sure go on a date or two maybe three but by then you should

00:19:47.820 be able to know like does this person have potential to be my husband or not yeah um so

00:19:52.900 oh yeah you wrote that note already and i didn't see that um number four uh stop basing everything

00:20:00.540 off of looks looks fade i'm getting uglier you've gotten better looking actually since we've gotten

00:20:07.500 married um looks fade character is what remains you know it's in proverb it's at the end of

00:20:13.800 proverbs 31 fleeting uh i just had it memorized ah you messed me up uh

00:20:20.240 darn it i had it there um beauty is vain charm is charm is deceitful beauty is vain but a woman

00:20:28.840 who hears the lord is to be praised bam boom got it i knew i knew it um so i'm not saying that you 0.95

00:20:35.620 shouldn't be attracted to your spouse that's definitely important and important and that's

00:20:39.840 what generally draws you to somebody um i'm just saying don't idolize the physical but focus on

00:20:45.280 their spiritual yeah veronica told me that i was ugly when we first started dating did i say that

00:20:49.180 no oh it's like oh my gosh i never oh don't say that that's not true um number five

00:20:57.660 lastly men need to stop being afraid to speak to women and to go ask a girl out on a date

00:21:06.800 yeah um guys come on there's actually like several good-looking guys that um are single

00:21:13.920 young men that have known you or um been to bible studies or something and like hi there's this

00:21:21.040 really pretty girl i'm just afraid to ask her out until it's like do it you're a part of being a

00:21:25.980 man go ask her out yeah you're 23 go get this done you know and uh we actually have one couple

00:21:31.480 yeah that's that's potentially maybe going to get married at some point because there was just a 0.70

00:21:36.720 conversation of you should, should you go ask her on a date? Go do it. Ask her on a date. And 1.00

00:21:40.740 it's looking really positive right now. So I think a lot of the problem is that men just need to step 0.79

00:21:45.640 up and just start asking. And I think a lot of women appreciate that. I think so. Yeah. That's

00:21:50.180 at least from my, from my understanding. Yeah. And then, um, a lot of women today want to know

00:21:55.120 how they can preparing, be preparing themselves for marriage in the meantime. I get that question

00:21:59.140 a lot. And I think a big answer is by doing what you're doing right now, listening to biblical

00:22:04.060 podcast preparing yourself for marriage studying what it means to be a biblical woman and also to

00:22:10.960 be a biblical man um so that way you know what the word call to action is for you totally and yeah

00:22:19.040 be well versed in it that's how you prepare yourself for marriage be around other married

00:22:23.520 couples you know care for other people's children serve them so that way you can see what it's like

00:22:29.060 to be a mother briefly you know yeah those are all great steps to practically preparing yourself

00:22:35.640 to be yeah to be a godly wife and mother yeah another thing is I actually wrote an article

00:22:43.940 that you can read on relearnchurch.org for the ladies titled how to find a godly man in a godless

00:22:49.400 world so you can go and check that out and then men I mean men and women if you have an issue

00:22:54.680 with pornography but this is this article is directed to the men I mentioned earlier that I

00:22:58.820 wrote an article and it's on pornography on our site and it's called why praying for the strength

00:23:04.700 to quit pornography won't help you and it's a pretty intense article i think it's probably

00:23:09.280 all of my theology that i have on pornography it's available for you guys it's been read by

00:23:15.600 tens of thousands of people and i the comments and the emails that i've gotten about this article

00:23:20.880 about how the truth of scripture has set people free in this area i just recommend that you take

00:23:28.020 a peek at it. Totally. And yeah, men and women who, cause a lot of women today really struggle

00:23:32.340 with it too. I definitely think you guys should go check it out. Um, I've heard tons of positive

00:23:36.820 feedback as well. Yeah. So hopefully that was helpful again, getting consistent with your

00:23:42.380 quiet time. And then the last thing is how to be single. Well, so hopefully those are helpful

00:23:47.260 answers for you guys. Um, again, if you guys would consider leaving us a review on the podcast,

00:23:52.220 it would be uh we'd be blessed by that and uh thank you guys for joining us every wednesday

00:23:57.640 and we have a bug killer in our studio whoever just is watching this on youtube is probably like

00:24:04.380 what is wrong with veronica it's so funny it just zapped about it really loud and scared me

00:24:09.140 so i'm like jolted sorry anyways so thanks for listening guys we'll see you guys next wednesday

00:24:15.660 take care

Dale Partridge - May 15, 2019

Real Christianity #45： How to Stay Consistent with Bible and Prayer Time

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